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Friday, January 20, 2012

Happy New Year!!!! 2012!!

I know I'm soooo late with that. Please forgive. It's been a whirlwind year for my family. Besides a new baby, we lost a home in a horrible storm a few months ago, (luckily we had the resources to get another-many Americans currently don't.) .... I don't want to get into it all but we're blessed and happy to be here. Hope you ladies are as well.....

I think it's important to DECIDE to change your life. Whatever you are unhappy with you must make the change. The best way to get going is to write it down and really admit to yourself this is making me unhappy and I want it to change.
For instance many bw more and more are wanting to break away from
the antiquated acting black crew and date/marry out. Many want to start businesses, and many just want general changes. These may consist of losing weight or engaging a hobby they truly enjoy. The point is these things don't just happen. You must make them happen. The weird thing to me that I have noticed in my life is that I can dwell on something and seemingly bring it into my life! It's been the most awe-inspiring thing I've noticed in my life. For instance I can think of a friend I have not seen in quite a while and if I dwell on that person sure enough someone will mention her or tell me how she's doing, or she'll call.
Why is this signifigant? Because you do this all the time too. Everyone has this power. And this is the key to having the life that you want. Most of the things in your life ARE under your control! Let me say that again. Most of the things in your life ARE under your control. You think about them repeatedly, and then you draw them into your life. It happens all the time. Try this the next time you go somewhere where you typically have a hard time finding a parking spot, picture that spot the before you leave and before you arrive. Really think and believe you'll have a great spot, and nine times of ten you will!
My point with all this is that black women are calling their own shots. We don't have to respond like pavlov's dogs reacting to the stimuli the outside world tries to direct us with. We can and do control our own lives...

Although I notice frequently ppl who don't have our best interest at heart will often use ppl who look like us to influence us. Don't be fooled follow your own heart, and never trust those who benefit from you being in the ditch, to help you get out of it. Or even those who may not have malevolent interests but simply can't see the light for themselves. I've told you ladies many times ppl who cannot see it for themselves, will almost never be able to see it for you!

Take for example, Jill Scott. who is a wonderful lady and a beautiful woman. But if all she sees for herself is a bm, (and feels strongly about it) then she will impose that view on every woman in her emotional vicinity. Not because she is vindictive, but because she is seeing the world through her own ideaology. Many times well meaning ppl are blinded by their own beleifs and shortcomings. This is why the bible says "Without a vision the people perish" You must have your own vision for your life and not let others lead you....... To be cont'd


Fii said...

I wholly agree with the power of positive thinking. I'm in my mid-20's and I'm now in my first relationship, which I am confident will be my one and only relationship. I've always gone by the the belief that I have no racial preference, though I have always been more interested in non-black men. And I refrained from dating in high school and college because I was only receiving attention from black men who were only interested in sex - and not the serious relationship that I wanted. Admittedly, it affected my self esteem, but I always kept it in the back of my mind, the kind of relationship I wanted and deserved. Once upon a time, when I was younger, I'd say to myself I wasn't ready for a relationship, what I wanted was a friend that I could kiss, and that is exactly what I got. Though of course, he wanted to do a lot more than kiss. The next time around I cut the crap and laid all my cards out on the table, and said I wanted a serious, monogamous, healthy, long term relationship and lo and behold, that is exactly what fell into my lap. Without very much effort at all. Someone who think's I'm the moon and the stars. Someone who wants to be with me, marry me, have a family with me and take care of me. He says these things to me - I don't have to put these ideas in his head. It is definitely not easy to stay positive, but even when I was at my worst, my last thought was always a glimmer of hope. And I think that made all the difference.

Gigi said...

Glad you made this post, I missed your posts. I'm so sorry about your house.Glad things are better.

I too believe that our thoughts and feelings have power. If you dwell in negativity than that is all one is going to get. I as a black woman, is trying to change my life by thinking positively and making better choices.

Anonymous said...


I would first like to say that I am sorry to hear about your family's loss. But, I am thankful that you were able recover successfully. Congratulations on the new baby!

I am happy to read your writings again. I missed you and was hoping you hadn't gone away FOREVER. Lol! But, here you are. YAY!!! I look forward to reading more of your insight. I really appreciate you sharing with us.

Happy New Year to you as well!

Bellydancer said...

Hey welcome back lady!!!! We missed you.