I want you ladies to read the following article by a bm columnist. His POV seems to be more and more popular among many bm today. He seems to feel that it's a woman's place to fight for a man, and to uplift a man, and to protect a man. I find this mode of thinking, not only repulsive, but disheartening. But ask yourself something. If you have to provide, protect, and fight for the man-then what do you need HIM for???........
Written by Darryl James, (Columnist),
I think that it is sad indeed that R Kelly’s case is being compared to the Mike Tyson rape conviction. In that case, I still maintain that Tyson was also a victim, not just the woman who allowed him to perform oral sex on her while menstruating and then emerged from a locked bathroom with a phone to continue engaging with her “attacker.” Muddied and confusing.
Do I think R Kelly is guilty? The answer is: “Does it matter?” I ask if it matters because out of all the positions that people hold, few want to take the position I hold, which is that if Kelly is to be held accountable, then other people, including the women who enabled him must be held accountable as well.
How about Sparkle, the young girl’s aunt, who allegedly served her up in order to get Kelly’s support for her own music career?
How about the girl’s parents who failed miserably as parents and had no idea what a freak their little girl had become? Why was a thirteen-year-old girl alone with a grown man? Why was she having sex like a Porn Star? Is all of that Kelly’s fault?
How about a society that allows and even encourages young girls to dress and act like adult hookers and then flashes righteous indignation when grown men look and interact with those young girls inappropriately?
There are plenty of young girls with super tight clothing pushing and pressing sexual flesh into the public eye and there is no moral outrage over it. In fact, when I wrote about it in this column, some ignorant a**head Feminazis accused me of hating women and being a sexist for my own moral outrage. Go figure.
You see, there are a lot of people who enable the abuse of Black women, including some Black women. It’s counterintuitive and counterproductive to lay the blame squarely at the feet of Black men or to ever claim that Black men fail to protect Black women and yet expect Black men to lead in the protection of anyone, when many members of that group fail to protect themselves.
It’s like Black people supporting the Wayans family, Martin Lawrence, Flavor Flav or many of the Buffoonish Black Coons of Comedy and rap sellouts who make Black people look bad on the world stage and then expecting White people to protect our image.
If you want respect, you must first respect yourself.
And, it’s difficult for Black women to make demands of Black men, when far too many Black women are far too willing to toss Black men under the bus for personal gain or for nothing at all.
This includes the proliferation of the Down Low myth, propagated by Black women more than anyone; the myth of more Black men being in prison than college and the ever-popular claim of Black men’s undying love and lust for White women. All popular myths that fall from the lips of Black women more than any other group of people in this nation.
The ignorant bag of crap JL King has recently released a DVD designed to educate people on how to recognize a Down Low Black man. Instead of challenging this a**hole to do some real research or shut up, many Black women are passing his promotions around as though he is speaking from the Bible.
So, before we get to shaming Black men into standing up for Black women more than Black women are apparently willing to stand up for themselves, we must address the question of why too many Black women fail to stand up for their brothers, sons and husbands.
Really, we must ask ourselves: who’s hating whom?
Do Black women hate Black men?
I think that it is sad indeed that R Kelly’s case is being compared to the Mike Tyson rape conviction. In that case, I still maintain that Tyson was also a victim, not just the woman who allowed him to perform oral sex on her while menstruating and then emerged from a locked bathroom with a phone to continue engaging with her “attacker.” Muddied and confusing.
Do I think R Kelly is guilty? The answer is: “Does it matter?” I ask if it matters because out of all the positions that people hold, few want to take the position I hold, which is that if Kelly is to be held accountable, then other people, including the women who enabled him must be held accountable as well.
How about Sparkle, the young girl’s aunt, who allegedly served her up in order to get Kelly’s support for her own music career?
How about the girl’s parents who failed miserably as parents and had no idea what a freak their little girl had become? Why was a thirteen-year-old girl alone with a grown man? Why was she having sex like a Porn Star? Is all of that Kelly’s fault?
How about a society that allows and even encourages young girls to dress and act like adult hookers and then flashes righteous indignation when grown men look and interact with those young girls inappropriately?
There are plenty of young girls with super tight clothing pushing and pressing sexual flesh into the public eye and there is no moral outrage over it. In fact, when I wrote about it in this column, some ignorant a**head Feminazis accused me of hating women and being a sexist for my own moral outrage. Go figure.
You see, there are a lot of people who enable the abuse of Black women, including some Black women. It’s counterintuitive and counterproductive to lay the blame squarely at the feet of Black men or to ever claim that Black men fail to protect Black women and yet expect Black men to lead in the protection of anyone, when many members of that group fail to protect themselves.
It’s like Black people supporting the Wayans family, Martin Lawrence, Flavor Flav or many of the Buffoonish Black Coons of Comedy and rap sellouts who make Black people look bad on the world stage and then expecting White people to protect our image.
If you want respect, you must first respect yourself.
And, it’s difficult for Black women to make demands of Black men, when far too many Black women are far too willing to toss Black men under the bus for personal gain or for nothing at all.
This includes the proliferation of the Down Low myth, propagated by Black women more than anyone; the myth of more Black men being in prison than college and the ever-popular claim of Black men’s undying love and lust for White women. All popular myths that fall from the lips of Black women more than any other group of people in this nation.
The ignorant bag of crap JL King has recently released a DVD designed to educate people on how to recognize a Down Low Black man. Instead of challenging this a**hole to do some real research or shut up, many Black women are passing his promotions around as though he is speaking from the Bible.
So, before we get to shaming Black men into standing up for Black women more than Black women are apparently willing to stand up for themselves, we must address the question of why too many Black women fail to stand up for their brothers, sons and husbands.
Really, we must ask ourselves: who’s hating whom?
Do Black women hate Black men?
But, really, let’s go back to the R. Kelly case and examine some of the messages that came from it.
What we heard from many of the Black women who were outraged over Kelly’s acquittal is that Black men fail to protect Black women and girls, particularly from the oversexualization of modern entertainment.
But what we did not hear was that the same oversexualization of modern entertainment adversely affects Black men and boys. It’s as though having young Black boys growing up watching themselves marginalized as hungry sexual animals doesn’t do damage to their psyche or sense of self-worth.
Or it’s as though no one cares, because the focus has been on saving and/or protecting Black girls.
If Black women can challenge Black men to protect Black women and girls, then why is it wrong to challenge Black women to protect Black men and boys?
Why do people want to view the young girl in the R Kelly sex tape who was overly comfortable getting freaky with a grown man as a victim, but not the grown man who is sick enough to be sexually drawn to young girls?
Wasn’t R Kelly once a child? And if he is damaged, wasn’t he damaged as a young Black boy? Even if no one cares about him, what about other Black males like him?
I already know the answer. Damn the male, save the female. Really, we should be concerned about both males and females.
But, sadly, we see far too much focus on the uplift of Black women and girls, as opposed to Black people.
For example, organizations such as Black Girls Rock exist to raise the self-esteem of Black girls, where we used to be concerned about the condition of all Black children. Why wasn’t the organization named Black Children Rock? And why is their propaganda only aimed at getting people to view Black girls in a different light?
Ashley Dunn, a board member of that organization draws a clear line in the sand.
“The type of education Black women and Black men have had about the importance of Black women has been pretty much non-existent, and what they have seen hasn’t been positive,” said Dunn. “With that in mind, why would anyone get upset about a Black girl being abused and urinated on? She was nothing anyway, and that is how both women and men feel in our community.”
Really? Are Black girls being abused and devalued or are Black children—male and female—being abused and devalued?
Where is the education about the importance of Black men? Isn’t much of what we see negative?
In nearly every corner, young Black boys are being devalued. They are told that they are destined to be gang members, drug dealers, prisoners above college students, harbingers of AIDS, lovers of White women and haters of Black women.
And, in efforts to protect Black women and girls, Black men and boys are typically thrown under the bus as the perpetrators of all things bad and absent from all things good in the Black community.
What the hell does that do to the psyche and self-esteem of Black boys? Where is the outrage? Particularly since some of that anti-Black male propaganda comes from Black women? If Black men and boys are doing so horribly in society, why then are there no Herculean efforts to save them? And why are there so many Black women telling us how horrible we are?
We hear far too many stories of single Black mothers telling their Black male children that their destiny is to become the same kind of garbage as their father who abandoned them. Talk to Black men who were educated in public schools and you will hear plentiful stories of how they were devalued by Black female educators.............
He goes on to whine about his own childhood, and how he felt neglected and tossed away by bw educators. But my question is quite simple-really. Do you hear what I hear? This so-called man WHINING like a little girl, while making excuses for the most deplorable behavior a human being can engage in (sexual predatorship of young children) And actually having the temerity to say things like:
What we heard from many of the Black women who were outraged over Kelly’s acquittal is that Black men fail to protect Black women and girls, particularly from the oversexualization of modern entertainment.
But what we did not hear was that the same oversexualization of modern entertainment adversely affects Black men and boys. It’s as though having young Black boys growing up watching themselves marginalized as hungry sexual animals doesn’t do damage to their psyche or sense of self-worth.
Or it’s as though no one cares, because the focus has been on saving and/or protecting Black girls.
If Black women can challenge Black men to protect Black women and girls, then why is it wrong to challenge Black women to protect Black men and boys?
Why do people want to view the young girl in the R Kelly sex tape who was overly comfortable getting freaky with a grown man as a victim, but not the grown man who is sick enough to be sexually drawn to young girls?
Wasn’t R Kelly once a child? And if he is damaged, wasn’t he damaged as a young Black boy? Even if no one cares about him, what about other Black males like him?
I already know the answer. Damn the male, save the female. Really, we should be concerned about both males and females.
But, sadly, we see far too much focus on the uplift of Black women and girls, as opposed to Black people.
For example, organizations such as Black Girls Rock exist to raise the self-esteem of Black girls, where we used to be concerned about the condition of all Black children. Why wasn’t the organization named Black Children Rock? And why is their propaganda only aimed at getting people to view Black girls in a different light?
Ashley Dunn, a board member of that organization draws a clear line in the sand.
“The type of education Black women and Black men have had about the importance of Black women has been pretty much non-existent, and what they have seen hasn’t been positive,” said Dunn. “With that in mind, why would anyone get upset about a Black girl being abused and urinated on? She was nothing anyway, and that is how both women and men feel in our community.”
Really? Are Black girls being abused and devalued or are Black children—male and female—being abused and devalued?
Where is the education about the importance of Black men? Isn’t much of what we see negative?
In nearly every corner, young Black boys are being devalued. They are told that they are destined to be gang members, drug dealers, prisoners above college students, harbingers of AIDS, lovers of White women and haters of Black women.
And, in efforts to protect Black women and girls, Black men and boys are typically thrown under the bus as the perpetrators of all things bad and absent from all things good in the Black community.
What the hell does that do to the psyche and self-esteem of Black boys? Where is the outrage? Particularly since some of that anti-Black male propaganda comes from Black women? If Black men and boys are doing so horribly in society, why then are there no Herculean efforts to save them? And why are there so many Black women telling us how horrible we are?
We hear far too many stories of single Black mothers telling their Black male children that their destiny is to become the same kind of garbage as their father who abandoned them. Talk to Black men who were educated in public schools and you will hear plentiful stories of how they were devalued by Black female educators.............
He goes on to whine about his own childhood, and how he felt neglected and tossed away by bw educators. But my question is quite simple-really. Do you hear what I hear? This so-called man WHINING like a little girl, while making excuses for the most deplorable behavior a human being can engage in (sexual predatorship of young children) And actually having the temerity to say things like:
" How about the girl’s parents who failed miserably as parents and had no idea what a freak their little girl had become? Why was a thirteen-year-old girl alone with a grown man? Why was she having sex like a Porn Star? Is all of that Kelly’s fault?How about a society that allows and even encourages young girls to dress and act like adult hookers and then flashes righteous indignation when grown men look and interact with those young girls inappropriately? " Unbelievable!! He is actually excusing a child molester because the child was dressed sexy!!! When I think about men like this, I'm sick to my stomach. It does not matter how the child was dressed. It does not matter how much she came on to him in her messed up little state. What matters is that R Kelly is a GROWN MAN!! and HE alone, is responsible for HIS actions!!! I am so tired of ppl making excuses for the most horrific behavior, esp. as it relates to bm. BM are not programmed puppets. (unless they decide to be) Bm are real live thinking human beings with minds of their own. Now if they choose not to use those minds, and play victim all their lives, that is certainly their choice. But it does not negate the fact, that they COULD have used those minds at any given moment. The more ppl make excuses for bm, the worse off they will be. the world already sees them as fools who lack the mental capacity to take responsibility, and yet they insist on putting their heads in the sand, and playing victim. As for the ridiculous question of why don't more bw fight for their husbands, and brothers etc. I have to wonder if this man is on drugs! Why would we as women jump out there and fight for a bunch of grown men who are perfectly capable of fighting for themselves?? It is NOT a woman's job to fight for a man! Ladies if you have been force fed this lie, spit it out right now! A man's job is to fight for himself! The more I hear some of these whining men talk, the more disgusted I feel. They sound just like little girls. "why is no one worried about me? Why is no one fighting for me, why are I being held accountable for something I couldn't even help! She came onto me!" It's really quite disturbing to hear grown men whine like this. And the fact that more and more bm have jumped on the victim bandwagon, only serves to further sully their tarnished image. Even if a man is knocked down, if he has strength left in his body, he gets up and tries to move on.... He does not lay on the ground like a patsy, and cry for WOMEN to come to his aid! Let me tell you something ladies, the more womanish, the man is - the more mannish, he'll want, and need you to be. You see, someone has to be the man and someone has to be the woman ( You'll see this dynamic play out even in gay couples) and if he's acting like the woman, then he'll try to get you to be the man. Even while he's complaining to everyone who'll listen, that you won't let him be the man!! What we are seeing with bm is a slow feminism taking place. Think of men you know who engage in the following behaviors
1. wearing more jewelry than you
2. standing on the corner all day, instead of working
3. trying to get you to buy him a drink-instead of vice-versa
4. letting their wives or live ins work, while they chase tail all day
5. getting their hair done at actual beauty shops, and on a reg. basis.
6. Asking you to buy him things, a man normally buys for himself!
7. Using his woman's car because he does not have one!
8. Living with his woman, because he has no home of his own
9. Still living with his momma, and putting his name on the OJ
10. Whining about having to support HIS OWN children!
11. Asking you why a bill has not been paid!
12. Instead of real dates, he wants you to cook and serve at your house
13. Going shopping on family money instead of paying bills
14 Asking you to keep working when you're 8 months pregnant!!
I used these examples because I actually know women who put up with all the above situations. I even know one adult woman who is 8 months pregnant right now, works 2 jobs, and has to rush home in between jobs to fix a meal for her sorry husband! She has swollen ankles, is in a lot a pain, and cries alot. Yet, she never tells the dead beat where to go. She simply talks about how hard life is for the bm. I guess she forgets that as a bw, her life is not exactly easy either! (SMH) But the point is, the reason so many bm claim to want a strong black woman, is so that they can be the weak black man! Don't be fooled ladies. Men like these, are about as useful to you as a hole in the head. They are a dead end drain. A parasitic organism that is trying to live off your host body. Get out your pocket knife and scrape them off. Then watch as they writhe in agony. You see they need to feed off of you. They have no survival mechanisms in place should you discard them, this is why they will fight tooth and nail to keep you from detaching yourself. But allowing them to continue feeding, is slowly rendering you ill. You must get rid of them! When you hear a man talking like the man above, give him a wide girth. Don't bother arguing as they are incapable of seeing any side but their own. Simply refuse to be involved with such nonsense. Tell him that your number 1 priority is yourself and not the po wittle bm! Watch him fall to the floor in fits of rage and shock. Then quietly step over his still twitching body, and go handle your business......
