When Sex inpersonates love and committment....

The other day a group of friends and I were at the mall. We were just hanging out enjoying the early spring weather and taking a much needed break from hubbys and kids. Well since I'm a people watcher, I was silently watching a group of young black women at the table next to us. I watched as they talked about their boyfriends and which man had the most sexual prowess. They sounded almost desperate to fill the voids in their lives with sex. Their faces were young but growing old before their time, and their smiles did not seem genuine. Like an old "Smokey song, I could almost trace the tracks of one girl's tears', though outwardly she grinned continually. They were loud and uncouth. Soon it was obvious people at other tables were listening, mostly ww. You could almost feel them trying to pretend they weren't. We grew uncomfortable at the vulgarity and gutter talk that spewed from them and finally moved. But people around were moving in closer and snickering in derisive tones. I wanted to shake these young women and tell them they were not only making fools of themselves, and that the ww around them were laughing at them not with them but the attention only seemed to fuel their fire, and they grew louder and louder as well as more and more lewd. Soon one young fool was bending over the table giving graphic displays of her behavior the prior night. It was at this point that mall security asked them to leave. ...

First of all I want to point out that the trash fish always takes the bait. The men around them smiling and nodding had already put them in the category of "week end screw" Ladies if you choose to display this type of behavior, you WILL no doubt attract men, but they will be the kind that use and abuse you. Good husbands and fathers you will NOT attract, and you will end up like many women who have tried to "outscrew" other women to get male attention. Used, angry, and soul-depleted. Good men will almost NEVER see this type of woman as anything worth pursuing. She will be the one they call at 3 in the morning, asking her to 'come over'. Usually this type of fool will actually go to, all she needs is a pair of red heels, a rain coat over her naked body, and hood ornament for her car that reads "we deliver!" It's really quite sad because most women really want love, and many women try to use sex to get love, yet it almost never works. Many bw, who are accustomed to being used and abused by the pitiful spectacles the hood calls men, (like the girls in the mall) have stopped trying to get love and are simply trying to get anything that resembles love. Ie, attention, appreciation, gratification etc. If you read some of the so called romance novels written by and for black women you will see this dynamic in action. You can even see it play out in public forums like facebook where bw will often brag non stop about their sexual exploits and rejoice like kids in a candy store over various parts of the male anatomy. A good example of this is J hudson's sister going on and on in overtly sexual tones over the man who eventually murdered her family. He was deranged and damaged beyond repair but all she saw was muscles and good 'sex', which she described in graphic detail....


My hope and prayer for bw is that they come to see how wonderful, and beautiful they truly are. That they come to give themselves the appreciation and chance at happiness that they deserve. All women (like men) enjoy good sex, but when sex becomes your primary focus, and you try to use it as a hook to land the man of your choice, then you need to work on YOU. Your self esteem, your emotions, your logic, your view of the world, and especially your view of yourself. You deserve someone who sees the 'real' you, and is capable of loving her fully. If he can only appreciates you when you wear a teddy, with wild hair on top of an overly made up face, then do you really see this man as your soul mate? Do you really think he's a keeper? Don't sell yourself short. Sex is only great in the context of a loving relationship. It cannot be used to obtain one....