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Monday, May 25, 2009

How to snag a real good man, and keep him interested.....

Can you mesmerize a man like this little mama here?







The other day, me and two of my sisters had a girl's day out at the mall. Our last sister could not get away from work obligations, but promised to meet us later that night for a movie. The day was warm and beautiful, and since we're all mothers, we were really happy to get some time away from the kids, husbands, and obligations. After we finished shopping for a few hours, we all sank gratefully into the food court seats.

A little while later, my youngest sister nudged me. As I turned around to see what she wanted, I noticed a young bg (about 14-15 yrs old). She was lovely with long reddish hair (prob. dyed) and a regal air about her. She was tall and willowy and her pretty face seemed to be wearing lip gloss only. The thing is, she seemed 'lit from within', for lack of a better term. One of those ppl you ALWAYS notice because there's just something about them. She was hugged up with a young wb, who kept turning to smile down at her as he paid for their food. From our angle at the food court, I noticed 4 or 5 young bbs at a table nearby. They were making snide remarks about the girl, while glaring angrily at her back. One boy was mumbling about wb gettin all the best bitches! The girl was pretending not to hear them, but her boyfriend began to turn red with anger. As the young couple passed the table of bbs, we could feel the tension and wondered what would happen. One boy with his pants sliding down toward his knees, shot the wb a smug look, and said: "nobody want no black girl anyway! Erybody know they trash!" The white boy paused, and I held my breath wondering if they would fight. Slowly he looked the boy in the eye, and said: "Well one man's trash is another man's treasure isn't it?"He glanced at his gf fondly, before turning back to the low pants boy. "And she sure looks like a treasure to me" he finished. The girl blushed and cuddled closer to him, her smile was warm and happy. With that, he took the girl's arm and led her to their table. My sisters and I all laughed. The look on those boys' faces was priceless! They looked dumbfounded, like they had no idea what to do or what to say. They angrily went back to talking about how 'played out' bgs were. But I noticed they kept glancing back at the pretty redhead with almost a pained expression on their faces. The funniest part though, was that across the room, a table of young black girls were watching the whole thing. They looked fascinated, and hopeful. They watched this poor couple the whole time they were there. In fact, many ppl seemed to be watching. There was just something about this young girl. She had such an confident, sensual, regal air about her! I even saw older wbs pass the table and throw her boyfriend looks of open envy. And when the young wb took the plates away, and came back and offered his gf his arm, I thought those young girls were going to follow them, they seemed so fascinated. "How do you think she got a nice boy like that? " One girl loud-whispered to another. " Look at her!" another girl cut in. "She's the type who can anybody she wants!," The girls all nodded in resigned fashion. " And she'll never settle for one of those!" Another girl sighed, pointing toward the group of young bbs who were now loudly singing a gansta rap song with emphasis on the curse words....


I thought about that as we left. That young girl probably did attract this type of boy because she would not have given one of the wannabe ganstas the time of day. The truth is, she seemed to inherently know her worth! So many women don't and that's probably why they settle for so much less. This young girl commanded the room, and she knew it. Many of the boys at the food court (both blk and wh.)seemed ready to beat her boyfriend down. She had an aura of grace, beauty, class and refinement. How does a woman get such an aura? Well if you are not born with this type of mystique (like I suspect she was) then you must cultivate it. Today I'm going to give you ladies a abbreviated course on developing this type of aura, and in doing so, easily attracting a good man....


1. Really learn to love you, and never give the time of day to any man who does not make the list. What list am I talking about? Well if you want to meet a certain type of man, you must make a list and put all the qualities you want in a man on that list. This will not only give you focus, but it will eliminate you wasting time on men who will not be right for you! Time is precious ladies-NEVER let anyone waste your precious time! This is the number 1 way to meet good men, and draw Mr right into your life! -When you have some time to devote to this, make a list of all the things that are musts in your future husband. Maybe you have children, so you need someone who will be good father material. Put everything that is vital to you on the list-this is your man-plan. You can add to it as you find qualities that are important to you. Make the physical description rather lose and focus on internal qualities. Once you have your list, I want you to take 15-20 minutes 2x per day (night or early morning is best) and I want you to visualize the perfect man coming into your life. Simply lie down and let yourself relax and enter the alpha state (you will automatically enter it, when laying down and relaxed) Visualize the two of you together, and the type of personality he will have. Really bring that picture to life- add color, sounds, emotions etc. Make it as real as you can. Everyday it should become clearer and easier for you. Ladies let me tell you a secret. Thoughts have power!!! It is vital to keep your thoughts on what you want because dwelling on what you do not want will work just as well, and draw it right into your life! I remember in college, I knew someone how was very attractive, but had an abusive bf. She always had bruises and was very depressed. The following year he dropped out, and she seemed elated. She went on with her life and guess what? She picked up another abusive bf! She stayed with him about a year before her brothers came to town and beat him up for giving her a black eye, and cracked rib. Well he left town shortly after but while she was in the hospital she met an orderly she was very excited by, but guess what? He turned out to also be abusive!! Do you see the pattern here? She is attracting the same man over and over in different bodies! Women often do this. That's why it's so important to feel WORTHY of a good man. If you don't feel worthy, you'll keep attracting the losers the pickier women have left behind. In the case of Jill. I asked her what she was thinking about her relationships in general. Because I KNEW (deep inside )she was thinking that she deserved a creep, but I wanted to see if she would admit it. She wouldn't, but listen closely. I noticed that the relationships always lasted roughly a year, so I asked her what was her thought process when the relationships broke up. She then mentioned that she was usually thinking (after a year) "I can't take this anymore-He has to GO!!!" Shortly after thinking this day and night, something would inevitably happen, and the guy would be gone! Wow-talk about bringing thoughts to fruition! Anyway, way off course, but this is why it is so important to love yourself. If you don't you'll attract losers who also will not love you....


2. Change your ENERGY!!!

What does this mean? Let me give you an example. They did a study in NY a few years back. They took a dozen rapists (Yes you heard me right-rapists) and they showed them video of the mall, and simply asked which woman they would pick to be their victim. The men were asked in a isolated room, and had no idea who the others were picking. Well, would you believe 11 of the 12 rapists picked the same two women over and over! The police could not figure out why, they even asked the men, and they didn't seem to know why. They simply said things like.. "well there's just something about that one, or she 'feels' like a victim! The police could only conclude that the women they repeatedly picked had 'bad energy' Bad energy is when you are harboring horrible thoughts, or your mind is in such a state of moral decay, that you can't help but attract negativity, or bad experiences to you. If you are in this state for extended periods of time, you will attract all manner of losers, bad experiences, bad luck etc. To change your energy-try changing your questions. (Yes you are having internal convos with yourself-stop and listen to what you are saying) You want to change the focus. Instead of saying to yourself: "God, i hate my job!" Ask yourself. "Well, what 's good about this job, or how could I like it?" Ask questions like: "What's good about me? What's wonderful about my life? What is it I would not trade for a million dollars? Ask yourself these type of question daily. Then really really tell yourself all the wonderful things you like about yourself. Write it down if you have to. but make it a point to deliberately fall in love with yourself. Now keep in mind, this should not be in a conceited way, but just an open and accepting way. Another way to raise your energy, and thereby change it is to lie on the bed on quiet evenings and think about all the ppl in your life you really love. Then let the feeling in your heart spread until it feels like you are in a cloud of love. This is a real exercise and it really works. This will bring all manner of good luck and opptys into your life (if you stay with it) But the most important thing it will do, is that it will keep you from attracting bad elements, and negative malevolent ppl to you. If you have a lot of unresolved pain, try to visualize yourself gathering all the hurtful things that have happened to you. Gather them all into a bundle and picture putting them out on the curb for the trash. Imagine imaginary garbage men taking them away- never to see them again. Really feel the relief of old pains and disappointments being gone.....
(Now if you have really deep seated issues-please see someone)
And don't forget the daily questions.
These are not only life enhancing questions, but if you have bad energy (due to bad questions) they will change your focus, and bring you into a much more positive and productive state of mind.




3. Learn to flirt with confidence and charisma! If you don't know how to flirt, get a book off of eBay, and learn. Flirting is great for loosening ppl up and breaking the ice. Plus many men are entranced by women who have the confidence and fun nature required to flirt. Men love a fun woman! They have so many duties and responsibilities that a fun loving woman is what many serious looking men are dreaming of, but he'll never tell you. I've seen many unattractive women snag top men because they were carefree, flirty, and fun. Many ww in America are great at flirting because they've been doing it since babyhood. This is something bw definitely need to copy them on, but the trick is to flirt from a position of strength, positivity, and confidence. Many women try to flirt to stave off feelings of desperation, and it NEVER works. Men can smell desperation a mile away! You see what you are thinking is GOING to be conveyed!!! No matter how you try to fake it, if you don't believe it, neither will they! This is why the exercises I gave you are so important. You can't fake self love. You can't fake self confidence. You can't fake self acceptance. Think Marilyn Monroe. Now beneath that exterior of beauty and sex appeal did anyone looking at her old films see a happy confident woman? Because I used to watch her old films all the time, and beneath all the 'beauty' all I saw was pain, disillusionment, and insecurity-I could feel it rolling off of her like a tidal wave! This is a prime example of a beautiful woman who was void and empty on the inside, yet trying desparately to fake it.....



4. Don't pretend to feel good about yourself FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF! Do whatever you need to do to feel good about yourself. The number one thing of course is Exercises! It does so much good, it can't even be measured. Some of the numerous benefits are: weight loss. firming up. regularity, calmness of spirit, slows down aging process, helps body to function better, helps mind function better. great stress reliever etc etc etc. Do something to improve your self esteem. Take classes on something you've always wanted to learn. or learn a new language. The truth is many bw do not know how powerful it is to learn a new language. There's something magical and charismatic about being about to speak multiple languages that draws ppl to you.



5. Be well read and well traveled! If you don't have the budget to go far, go as far as you can. Learn to really see this vast world. Nothing will give you the sophistication, and polished air that being well read and well travelled will afford you. This is why many rich ppl will send their children off to other countries like Switzerland and the like. They are well aware that the benefits, as well as self confidence their offspring get in these places will serve them their entire lives. There is something about meeting and mixing with different ppl that enables one to expand their thinking, their sphere of influence as well as their skills and mindset. It's an invaluable trait that will carry throughout your life.


Now these are excellent clues to draw the right type of men to you. Keep in mind there are more, but I'm too busy to give them to you right now. But just knowing and practicing the ones above will put you light years above average women. Most women have no idea about these little secret gems. Try them and you'll see.. Thanks everyone for tuning in-see you next post....