I have a question. When black children are reared in the same home, (1 male, 1 Female child) and the female goes to college while the male goes to jail. Why is the mother so often blamed for the son's failure? Now we all know, that most likely the father did not stick around, so why is the parent who remained responsible for the shortcomings of the son?
Read the following report and see if you cannot see how the black woman is indirectly blamed for the son's lack of ambition, and subsequent failures. Keep in mind this report was from 2000, the CURRENT college ratio for bw/bm is an alarming, 7/1 in many major Universities! BW also start and run far more businesses, and account for an estimated 850 BILLION dollars of goods and services every year! Never doubt your power ladies, - But back to the report. Notice how the mother is NEVER given ANY credit for the daughter's achievement, yet is given all the blame for the son's lack of it.......
A 2000 study was done which revealed that black men between the ages of 18 and 24 are about two and a half times more likely than black women to go to jail as opposed to college. This is based on figures which disclosed by the Census Bureau, reveal that during this time, 747,000 African American women in this age group were in college while only 9,000 were in jail/prison. However, the numbers for their male counterparts claimed that only 480,000 young men were in college, while 180,000 were in jail or prison. There are quite a few assumptions that can be made regarding these particular statistics. But even almost a decade later, studies still show that black men fall behind black women where it regards attending college and obtaining degrees. Understanding why this trend plagues the black community however, is something more of a mystery. Many people attribute the demise of the nuclear African American family to the lack of focus on higher education. Since many single-parent households are upheld by women, it's only feasible to take a closer look at how boys and girls are raised in these environments. As a result, some fairly rudimentary conclusions might just be drawn...Single black mothers tend to prepare their daughters for life differently than sons.
It would be unfair to say that all black women are incapable of rearing educated, family-oriented young black men. However, it is very common (and perhaps understandable) that single mothers are better at guiding their little girls onto the path that leads them to becoming productive young women.
Maybe it is because they too, were little girls, perhaps themselves raised with only a mother's help. Helping a young lady deal with distractions or issues at school is sometimes easier to do than with males. Without a male in the household after which to model a son, the challenge to raise young men may be that much more difficult. This isn't to say that single black mothers don't advise (and encourage) their sons to attend college or do well in school. However, in their approach they may be failing to emphasize how doing well in school will afford them a vast number of opportunities once they've grow up. Single black mothers sometimes "spoil" their sons more than their daughters.Single mothers raising boys are sometimes more lenient on their sons than their daughters. This may be because some mothers claim that raising girls is more difficult than raising boys. Because they find that training girls in grooming, dressing, and other life lessons is a bit tedious, they may assume that boys need less "attending to." As a result, their growing boys may have more freedom (and subsequently less structure) than the little girls they're raising. Less structure frequently means less discipline. And discipline is a necessity where it regards higher education. In single parent households maintained by the mother, there may also be a direct correlation between marriage, and how it is viewed by African American boys and girls. In a recent interview, Sean "Diddy" Combs stated that because he didn't grow up in a household with married parents, he has no idea how married people interact. With this statement, he alluded to the potential reason why despite his numerous children, he has yet to marry any of their mothers. The same sentiment holds true regarding education. Single mothers raising girls are often vigilant about providing "survival skills" for them. But without a male present in the household, teaching a young boy how to cope as a man can present certain obstacles.
Notice how the Author conveniently neglects to mention the fact the ABSENCE of the father may be a salient contributing factor to the lack of ambition, as well as the social malefactions being committed by of his son!
Notice how the mother is blamed again and again in regards to the son's actions, yet no one criticizes the sperm donor who made these children as he was passing through. Not once is it addressed that this woman has taken on the herculean task of raising children ALONE, paying bills ALONE, taking ALL of the monumental responsibilities that come from parenthood alone, and still managed to get even one of her children into college!
I get so tired of the peanut gallery trying to blame bw for everything! The truth is it is extremely difficult to raise children without any financial, moral, or structural support from the other parent. It is even harder for a woman to raise a young boy to be productive, because she often lacks the capacity to really relate to a young boy (she never was one). In hindsight, many women blame themselves for sons that end of in prison,or commit acts of moral disregard, without realizing that as young boys age, their principal form of influence become the young men he encounters in his daily interactions. (IOWs ) He, most likely, WILL begin to model himself after the men in his environment-regardless of their level of moral decay! His mother's influence on him often becomes secondary, and inconsequential as he grows into manhood. This is why she can be the best mother she can be, but if he is surrounded by damaged men, he himself will often become damaged as a result!To me environment puts you 70% percent of the way there! (just my theory, and experience) Ladies, if you are concerned about your young men, the best thing you can do, is to get them into the best environment you can find. Encourage their friendships with high achieving, morally-inclined men within your community, and if none are available-MOVE! Keep reminding them (your sons) that THEY ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THEIR OWN ACTIONS!!!-and that regardless of how the BC coddles them-the world will be far less accommodating, and WILL HOLD THEM RESPONSIBLE!!!
Take for example (diddy). He claims that because his parents were not married, that he never saw how a husband interacted with his wife, he therefore, had no basis on which to predicate his own behavior. Yet, keep in mind that Diddy grew up in abject poverty, and is now jaw-droppingly rich! He had no basis for his business acumen either, yet he has become phenomenally successful. Yet how could this be? He readily admits he did not know anyone personally as rich, and successful as he has now become. I would simply say that HE SIMPLY DECIDED TO BE THE BEST RECORD MOGUL HE COULD.
He studied the principals,of effective business, worked extremely hard, and never gave up. Over time, he learned from experience how to become a fantastic business mogul, because being a music mogul,with the accompanying wealth and power, was extremely important to him. My point is, he could have just as easily learned to be a good husband, and bring his children into the world IN wedlock. He simply chose not to. ***IOWS*** it was NOT IMPORTANT TO HIM!!!. My point is, We ALWAYS LEARN THAT WHICH MATTERS TO US, and that, ((Men--just like women)) are responsible for their OWN actions!!!
Thank y'all for tuning in, see you next post......
