So many times I hear bw saying they don't think wm are really interested in bw. However if you watch these same women in their day to day interactions with wm, you will see them tense up, appear uncomfortable, ill at ease, and noncommunicable (many times) when they engage in conversations with wm. Let me ask you ladies a question. If a man claimed he was open to dating you, yet seemed uncomfortable, ill at ease, and even looked around( as if scared of who might be watching!) would you continue to see him, or even continue the conversation? I know I would not. I have definitely dropped wm in the past I definitely could have been interested in, because I felt they were too concerned with what other people would think. He has to be resolute in his feelings for me to feel comfortable.
Like John Wayne, he needs to have a devil may care, I'm going to be with the woman I want! type-attitude. '
Unfortunately many of you ladies are suffering from the old "But what will bm think syndrome! Get over it!! Do they EVER bother to care what any of you think? To me it's just so silly to waste time worrying about ppl you don't even know. That's insane. Those ppl have never cared what you thought, and they never will.
Many of you have no idea why wm are not approaching you, but at the same time, when he tries to engage in light conversation, many of you are giggling like silly school girls, and then running away, or snapping back an answer. I watched in the market one day, as a wm followed a bw who was scolding her small child. He finally worked up the courage to approach, and make a light remark along the lines of
" Well, don't worry- one day we'll be getting on their nerves" I could tell he was trying to make a joke to lighten the mood, but the irate mother immediately turned, and snapped.
" Excuse me, but could you mind your own business! "
The man turned red with embarrassment, and slid away. This is so common, it's almost a daily occurrence with many bw. I don't think many of them even realize they're doing it. The truth of the matter is that many of you have a bright red light on (a STOP LIGHT) blaring, and then you're wondering why no one is trying to come into your intersection. Many men are very intimidated to approach bw, not because we are the mean witches the media portrays us as but because so many bw have made self annihilating remarks such as: Nuthin but a brotha! I need a strong bm! He's too pale for me! etc etc.
I don't believe for a minute too many bw actually feel this way. I strongly suspect they've tried to ameliorate bm's flagging egos with these remarks, but they've backfired, and many bw are alone,or seen as unapproachable because of them.
Read this quote from one discouraged white man.....
I think the bottom line is that men of all colors fear rejection. Black women are the least likely of any group in this country to date outside of their race. This is something that has been proven through various studies. If you cruise through a personals site, you will see black women more often than any other race cite that they are looking for black men. I remember watching an episode of Oprah several years ago where there were several single black women sitting around talking about dating interracially where half said they would, half wouldn't and then of the half that would, a few said something along the lines of "but when I marry, I want a strong black man" as the other women nodded along. You don't really see or hear that with Latinas, Asians and white women (although some may think it admittedly). As such, many non-black men feel that they will get shot down if approaching a black women so they don't even bother to try. It's not something that is exclusive to race. It's similar to how many men would not bother approaching or asking out an Angelina Jolie clone if they were to see her in a bar, regardless of whether or not after a conversation they got along well with her, simply because they would view her as out of their league and a near certain rejection that they'd rather not hear. I remember one instance where I was in a bar and talking to a black woman, and when I more or less asked her out, she looked at me like I was crazy and then didn't even say anything but just started cackling. When she composed herself enough, she managed to say "you're a little too pale for me if you know what I'm saying." This woman was not representative of the black race and should be judged on an individual basis. She was just a beeyotch plain and simple, regardless of her race. I could have been rejected in the same manner by a Latina, Asian or a white woman, but in terms of statistics, more black women refuse to date outside of their race than those other groups, so this sort of reaction is the sort of thing that I think a lot of white men fear and makes them second-guess themselves when it comes to approaching black women. I think white men will approach an Asian or Latina woman without a second thought of "does she date white guys?", whereas the same doesn't hold true a lot of times for black women. I'm not sure if I explained that correctly but it makes sense in my head.....
When I read his comment, it reminds me of the Sherl Underwood incident. When she was on a panel, and showing off for the numerous bm there. A wm said to her, "Now if you and I were to go out-" (he was putting out a feeler to see if she was interested) She immediately snapped: "You and I ain't goin nowhere!!!" All the bm on the show began to clap and stomp gleefully, while cheering this fool on. Then after the show, they hugged up with their ww, and headed happily home!
She went home alone.......
BW, beauty really does fade, but dumb really is forever! ( a quote from one of my fav. judges) Don't be stuck on stupid. Only a fool pays homage to ppl who would spit on them. Bm are trying to get as far from anything black as they possibly can. You all can see this. So don't ever close the door on good men, to uphold the egos of men who don't give a damn about you.... WAKE UP!
When you see a nice guy smiling at you, or trying to make conversation-think green
. Open body language
. Turn TOWARD him
. Give a hint of a smile, but don't overdo
. Definitely look him in the eye even if it's brief
. Ask open questions that require more than yes or no
. Leave little doubt that you are interested, but never appear needy.
Ladies, I think you all know exactly what to do, now do it and stop complaining that wm don't want you. They def. do, but you have to let them know that you are interested-so put that green light on.....
