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Tuesday, July 14, 2009

The myth that white men only want black women for SEX!!!

Choose your man carefully. Prince Albert (L) is a man who is very attracted to bw, but obviously would not marry one.
On the other hand, MANY wm, are more than happy to marry bw-tune out those who say differently, they are misguided... (or lying)

Let's face it-
Many bw believe wm only want them for sex because they are told this on a continuous basis. Usually by bm (who want to use them first, and the bc-who need mules to carry the burdens) Bw are constantly told this is All wm could ever want them for. Even the media, seems to have a vested interest in corroborating this misconception. Usually, because they do not want bw to take the choicest white men. (Remember what I've told y'all. Never trust someone to tell you how to get out of a ditch, if he has a vested interest in you staying in it.....
Today, I'm going to answer this question for you once and for all.
The truth is: ----------SOME DO! ----And SOME DON'T-------------

The simple truth is, (regardless of race-) SOME men are jerks and will always try to use women. But for many men, sex simply becomes an unplanned opportunity that they could not refuse-when offered. Ladies, let me explain something. Sex to a man (this applies to most men) is like a good cup of coffee. It's hot, it's delicious, and it's over.... They'll wash themselves off, and go on their way. Many men will even have sex with women they don't like! As women, you have to stop mixing sex with love, they are NOT the same. Now I don't' think it makes a man a bad guy if he sleeps with a woman he is not in love with, or barely knows. I def. think it makes him stupid in this day and age, but that's another story... Bottom line, women need to be VERY slow to sleep with a man. like I've said many times before, men are just not smart enough to hide their *real* selves for long. All you have to do to vet him is keep your legs closed and your ears open. He will tell you EXACTLY who he is.....
As for the question, do wm just want bw for sex---- Let me tell you ladies something ----

ALL men want you for sex!!! He won't approach if he thinks he is NEVER going to be able to sleep with you, but that does not mean, that's ALL he wants....
It's interesting to me that so many bw write and tell me that they want to date out, but are afraid wm will try to use them for sex! Yet many of these same women will relate to me that they are unwed mothers or have been used, and hurt repeatedly by bm. My question is:

Because the majority of them, (BM) most definitely do use bw for sex, (and money, housing, laundry, etc) and yet many of you are so busy worrying about what wm are 'going' to use you for, you can't see that bm have been using some of you for years!!

Should you vet white men?? --Girl YES!-vet ALL MEN!!!--- but then close your legs, smile, and listen to what he's really saying/doing. Many women do not seem to realize that they are setting the tone, when they first meet a man. This is why your momma always told you to make a good impression, because you can never go back and re meet that person for the first time. In other words, if you come off as a tramp when he first meets you, then what exactly do you expect him to believe-except that you are a tramp? It' s so very important to set the tone in the beginning and establish in his mind that you are a lady, and that you expect to be treated like one. This is especially important because the jerks who have no intentions of treating you well, will begin to fade away, and the quality men will still be there. Always know that you are setting the tone when you first meet....Now back to men...
What many women do not know is that men will often put a women in 4 distinct categories when he meets a woman.
a. friend/companion/confidante

b. sidepiece, week end fling-other woman

c. mother-like, maternal -relatives

d. WIFE-wife material!

He will NEVER tell you he is doing this, he will simply do it. You must NEVER allow him to put you in Cat B. Let me tell you a few things about sex that most younger women do not know...
Sex is NOT a bonding agent! You cannot use it to pull him to you. LOVE is the bond, Sex is just the expression of the love! Never pass yourself around like a box of chocolate! Even if no one else knows (say you move to a new state) In your heart you will still know, and your soul will ache. You are much too precious to be used as a sexual toilet!
Remember in the Color Purple when Shug says to Cilly (sp?) "You act like he just goin to the bathroom on you Ms cilly! "
And Cilly shrugs sadly, and replies:
"That's what it feel like. He don't ever ask me nothin bout myself or nuthin! He just climb on top of me an-do his bizness" .......

That's a perfect example of sex without love and intimacy. Her soul was aching because she KNEW she was being used, and sexed by someone who didn't give a damn about her. I see no reason for any women to WILLINGLY subject themselves to this self esteem killing behavior or have to live with the regret of indulging in this type of behavior. Save yourself for the one that matters!
Never should it be easy for a man to get you into bed (unless he's your hubby!) HONEY-when it comes to playing hard to get-you should NOT be playing!
... But back to topic. Vet all men because some wm simply love black booty, and will most def. indulge at every whim if given the opportunity. But MANY wm, are looking for someone to LOVE, someone to mother his children, someone to marry, and he is not concerned with color, if you're not....

Lastly, I think I told you ladies, to LISTEN and he would tell you... I want to give an example of what I was talking about. A few years ago, I was a consultant at a particular office in town. There were a few wm there who would *seem* to follow me around. One was always asking me out. He still wore his deceased wife's ring on his finger, and always spoke of things that meant a great deal to him. I noticed whenever he mentioned his wife, he would cock his head to the side, and look up to the left. Then a sweet smile would come over his face and he would tell me how much I reminded him of his late wife. I knew he was picturing her in the past and I could tell by the look on his face, how much she meant to him. But soon, he began to *chase* me in earnest, and when he spoke to me, I began to see him look up with that same dreamy look -to the right. I knew he was picturing me in his future, and I also knew he was falling hard.... The point is: by simply paying attention to the myriad of clues he was leaving, I could guess what was going on long before he confessed it.... Now the other guy always seemed to be talking to my chest instead of me. Even when he leaned over me, and whispered how pretty he thought I was, his eyes were on the top of my dress. I knew right away what *type* he was, and I avoided him. But he was very persistent, and always managed to be where I was. He also was annoyingly touchy-feely, and leering. One day he actually had the nerve to send me an email saying something to the effect of -he was going to throw me across my desk- and ravage me! This is how I handled it.
When he came to my office to ask me if I had gotten his email, I looked up, and blinked several times like I was an airhead. Then I turned and looked him right in the eye, and said. "Oh, I figured you had confused my email, with someone else, because I was sure you 'knew' better than to disrespect me like that!" I then finished it off with a blank look. He was suddenly embarrassed, and stuttered an apology to me.... Weeks later, he got involved with a bw officer, and sexed her until his wife found out, and got her fired! (Yes, the jerk was married!) When it hit the fan, he never came forward in her defense.... See, she was just a side piece to him......
Anyway ladies, that's what I want to make clear to you. Most men will use you as a side piece if you let them. Nice guys, jerks, even religious men (IF you let them) They all have sexual urges, and they will use you to alleviate those urges IF you let them....

So trust your own instincts, you will come to know which wm is sincere and which one is just after a good time, and all you have to do is LISTEN!!