Don't let the ' white girl song' bother you.....

Instead of worrying about silly songs, focus on the life you want. The man you want, and happiness you want. Put your focus on that which EMPOWERS you.....

This post is not really about the white girl song, not exclusively anyway. It's about how many of you fall right into a state of anger and rage when bm do something you consider disrespectful and then internalize the pain. I'm going to show you how to handle anger much more constructively. First off, I need you ladies to understand that bm are FREE AGENTS!!! They can do what they want. Please- whatever you do -stop getting upset about seeing bm with ww! It's really no big deal. Many of you take it as some personal affront and it's not. Your attitude should be indifference. Do you want him? Probably not, so let it go. When you show upset over seeing bm with ww, that means you are still emotionally tied to them, or you think bm BELONG to bw. Honey, -they don't -Thank God. Wish them well on their path and let it go....

Second, I need you ladies to stop seeing ANYONE as your enemy. No matter who it is. You can NEVER consider a whole group of ppl your enemy. You could be alienating alot of good friends. Some ppl of whatever type may treat you bad-leave that (singular) PERSON alone. Yes, I definitely advise bw to be wary /careful of bm as a group, because too many of them are damaged and dangerous. But don't hate them. Anything you hate and despise weakens YOU. That's why you should be Pro- BW, not against BM! You should be pro-bw dating out, not against bm dating out. When you see a wg slobbering all over a bm, giving you snide and smug looks, you should be totally unmoved. Never get upset about something like that, those ppl have a right to do as they wish. The most wonderful part though-is so do you! You have a right to go out and get yourself the sexiest, finest wm you can find. You have a right to marry him and bear his children. You have a right to hold him close, and love him like there's no tomorrow.As long as you are bitter, and filled with hate, you block YOUR own good. Never have hate in your heart at other IR couples, because then you block the same thing from coming your way. It's almost like ppl who hate rich ppl, but secretly want desperately to be rich. As long as they're hating someone else for having riches, they are driving it away from themselves, but they don't even realize it.....

As for the WGS- Many of you have emailed me about this new song. Telling me how it puts ww on a pedestal and once again puts bw down. So what's new about that? They've been doing that for a while now, they're just more bold about it now. Personally, I just don't give a damn. Why would I? And why would you? I have what who I want, but even if I didn't, I certainly would never want a color-struck self hating man-would you? When are you ladies going to realize when you are being played? That song was deliberately intended to piss bw off, and many of you are falling right into character. And when someone is trying hard to piss you off, the best thing you can do is be nonchalant. Nothing gets under an agitator's skin like nonchalance. There's nothing bm want more than to control bw, and keep them off balance, scared, depressed, and available for multiple uses. The last thing in the world we need to concern ourselves with, is what bm want. You need to ask yourself/ves what YOU want? What do you want out of life? WHO do you want? What to you dream of at night when no one else is around. What do you want so badly that you would do it for free? That's what you need to focus on!! Not some stupid song, designed to provoke you to want to fight ww for bm. (And let's face it-that's the whole point of the song) Don't fight anybody over a man-regardless of his color. When women fight over men, the only one who wins is HIM!

The WGS, is designed to feed the ww's ego, and tear down the bw's ego, once again. The best thing bw can do is A. ignore it. or B. grab a WHITE BOY get on the dance floor and act as if the lyrics are reversed. But if it's bothering some of you so much, then why are you listening to it? Why are you dancing to it? Some of y'all really need to develop tunnel vision. See only your goals, and men who will love and respect you. Hear only what you NEED to hear, from those that matter in your life. LOVE ONLY THOSE WHO LOVE YOU BACK!!! Ladies this is not rocket science. Tune out those who don't have your best interest at heart and tune in those who do. And don't bother telling me you can't tell from the start when a man it totally about nothing. Women are very intuitive. Even when he's a master manipulator, we have great intuition. Learn to listen to it. A good rule to follow is:

What to avoid...

a. Have nothing to do with violent criminals

b. Have nothing to do with men with hair trigger tempers.

c. Have nothing to do with men who seem to disrespect women in general

d. Have nothing to do with men who seem to have no game plan for their lives and simply try to live off other ppl. (you'll be the one he'll try to live off soon)

e. Have nothing to do with any man who consistently gives you bad vibes

(that's your intuition trying to warn you of something.)

f. Have nothing to do with men who seem to think the world 'owes' them something. These are the type who go off because someone won't give them money or something. The world owes us nothing but a chance-the rest is up to US...

What to look for:

a. Look for men who generally have respect for all women whether he knows them or not.

b. Look for men who treat you like a lady, and have manners and kindness

c. Look for men who share your interests, and your MORALS.

d. Look for men who are good ppl, WHEN NO ONE ELSE IS WATCHING

e. Look for men who are ambitious, and motivated to do something with their life.....

I think you all get the picture. Even when he tries to fake it. Men are just not smart enough to fake it for long. All you have to do is open up those pretty eyes of yours and really SEE who he is......

Now what to do about the bm who make songs that are designed to put ww on a pedestal......

What sista's need to do is flip the script. Instead of worrying about ww having their massive egos' made bigger. We need to learn to fight fire with fire. Put a fine ass WM on the cover of a BW's magazine! Make a white boy song! Walk proudly down the street with your vanilla prince and stop giving a damn about the stares/glares from bm. Declare to the world, that we no longer care what bm think, just as the Asian women do. They (Asian women) are quick to let everybody know that they are looking for wm, and that they are OPEN! They never waste time worrying about what Asian men think, they simply do what's in their own best interests. And do you know that because of that thought process, there are over a MILLION marriages of WM and AW! The truth is wm marry out far more than ww! But many ppl do not realize this. And did you know that marriages between bw and wm, are the fastest growing IR union??? Well, they are. We need to follow the Asian sistas and do what's best for Us and stop worrying about the constant disrespect coming from bm. Show them by deed we are done. Many men tune a woman out when she's screaming and carrying on. He will not believe she means what she says until she cuts contact. Stop worrying about bm loving up on some wg. I told y'all before. Drive him to the wg's house and leave him there. Let her have him! Get your own swirl on and stop worrying about his. Put your focus and attention on WHAT YOU WANT IN LIFE-that's how you get it......

How the power of *WORDS* has affected black women!!!

The words we use (what we think) will make or break our lives-what are you saying to the world and yourself?.......

Many ppl continue to let their words do them in and then wonder why their lives are not what they would want them to be. The bible says, 'Life and death is in the power of the tongue'

What does that mean to you? I'll tell you what it means to me. It means that the words that come from your mouth, shape your life. It means those words are soooo powerful that they can even cause life to end! Many of you sistas are NOT where you want to be, or have what you want to have, or live the way you want to live today, because of the words you allow to cross your lips.....

Words have amazing power, but not many ppl realize how powerful they really are.

Example 1.

Did you know the entire Holocaust started out with Hitler ( a little German nobody) claiming he was the greatest ruler in Germany, and that he would restore Germany to it's former glory? He then proposed to do this, by eradicating all of Germany's primary problems-starting with the Jews. He started out calling the Jews vermin and other vile names. Soon ppl did not see ppl when they looked at Jews they saw vermin. Think how much easier it is to kill 6 million vermin than 6 million people! He progressed by saying that all the economic, political, and social problems that Germany faced were the fault of the Jews (vermin) At first ppl laughed at him, but as he spoke (and he was a master communicator) ppl began to listen. The jews were no longer seen as ppl. they were considered on the level with rats and roaches. Do you feel any compuctions about killing rats or roaches? Once they were viewed and accepted in this light, it was so much easier for the SS to 'exterminate' them, and the fate of the poor Jews was soon sealed.... How did such a thing happen? How could something so horrible have ever happened? It happened the ways things usually do, with words preceding actions....

Example 2.

Think about the recent demise in the black community...
If you remember the start of Hip hop, then you remember Run DMC, and how when it began, it was never misogynistic. It was electrifying, and it was good dance music, but misogyny was never a part of it. As it gained fame and popularity, other musicians (that title does not really fit) opted to take the easy way to fame and fortune. They began to engage in music designed to scintillate the senses and pander to the base instincts of the public. (anything to get to the money) The music grew increasingly malicious, and vile. With it grew more and more crimes against women -yet nobody seemed to anticipate or notice the connection! I remember Curtis Blow saying how uncomfortable he was with the direction the music was taking. I also remember how quickly he was shut down. The downward spiral had begun... Artists were getting paid, and they did not want to hear anything that might interrupt the sweet sound of money landing in their bank accts. Women who saw the writing on the wall and tried to intervene were accused of trying to keep brother's broke (Deloris Tucker anyone) Along the way, gang violence escalated, bm filled the jails, and bw and girls were more and more often the victim to bm who listened to these horrible lyrics day and night, and then decided to emulate them. What I am suggesting is that it is in no way surprising to me the horrible way bw are being treated by bm in this current day. Just look at the garbage they call music! Listen as they recite these lyrics on a continuous basis, and then look at the effect on their lives. No the music is NOT solely responsible, but it has exacerbated (to the 9th degree) a whole host of problems that already existed in the blk community. There is simply NO WAY you can listen to something day and night while constantly reciting it, and not have it affect you!!! What I am saying is NEVER BELIEVE THAT WORDS ARE JUST WORDS-WORDS HAVE POWER!!! Just look at how cold and misogynistic today's bm is compared to the ones from yesteryear! Look at how many bm are filling jails because of words, (rap music, keepin it real, down wit it, ride or die, etc etc, etc. Look at how we went from 'treat her like a lady' (temptations 80s) to now (you's a hoe, move bitch-get out the way, pimps up-hoes down)etc, etc, etc. The music today (if you can call this nonsensical lyrical trash music) is doing so much harm, it's unmeasurable.... Bw are not even being seen as living breathing ppl with hopes and dreams and feelings anymore. We've been relegated to horrific labels by the very men many of us have fought tooth and nail for. Because we have allowed this garbage(and other garbage) to penetrate our consciousness, we now have young men glorifying violence,glorifying jail, glorifying gangs, treating women like sexual toilets, sexual violence against women and on and on. Everything white America has enough sense to see is horrible, and wrong is glorified and uplifted in the bc. The more these despicable words are thrown at bw like verbal daggers, the greater the danger for bw and girls, the lower the self esteem of young girls, and the more deadly bm become. Think about the old days. Was it EVER this bad that you can remember? NO! Do you know what the primary change is: The Words used to describe bw grew more evil, more deadly, more hateful, and more threatening! And what happened? The resulting actions followed SUIT!!!!

Example 3. -final

Lets give a final example:

look at how the slogan "Nothin but a black man!" has affected relations, and attitudes in and out of the BC.....

As this chant/slogan gained popularity, many bw began to suffer the consequences.

Many bw began to allow bm to come to the table with nothing but a pulse, yet non-bm were often given the cold shoulder. After all, it was uncool to date white (forget that bm were doing it like it was going out of style.)

Wm were practically expected to turn hand flips to get a date with a sista, while bm had a harem of women chasing them, and bulging an already overblown ego. This little stupid saying had bm who looked like Flav thinking they were Morris chestnut. It's caused ww to run after bm as well (further bloating that big ego)

Ww began to think to themselves: If he's all that-then he should be with ME!!

It's interesting that bw only began this chant because they felt so many brothers suffered low self esteem due to racism, and they were hoping to alleviate the pain in any way they could. Many bw wanted bm to know that no matter how the world viewed them, we were still in their corner. Thus this chant began, and was quickly used against us. Many bm immediately began to believe they were too good for bw. (Never mind that 70% of the wealth, and 2/3 of all College degrees awarded to AAs -go to bw.) These little-so called insignificant words also slowed IR down for many bw. Some women refused to indulge (no matter how much they wanted to) and some actually began to believe the bullshit they were spouting (Nothing but a bm) They convinced themselves he had to be blk. There was no longer criterion for being a good man, husband, father, -just blk! Let me show you a few more ways this has hurt us.....

1. Bm began to show signs of open conceit, and along with it, contempt for other men-and BW!.

2. Bm became more disrespectful because they felt (knew) they could get away with it.

3. Bm became more misogynistic in word and deed, (and song) and showed more open disdain for bw.

4. Bm were able to do less and less in relationships, while demanding more and more...

5. With less and less demands on them, many bm began to show more and more signs of slothfulness and lackadaisical attitude toward everything. This began in their relationships, and expanded to include employment, education, parental responsibilities etc. I am not suggesting that a mere slogan started their downward spiral. I am suggesting that once again- it Exacerbated it.....

This is just the tip of the iceberg, but I wanted to bring attention to how this new low standard affected the men both black and white.

Now how did it affect wm?

1. Wm who were on the fence about asking bw out, opted for more 'open' women (usually Asian)

2. Wm who were already dating a bw, began to worry that she secretly wanted a brotha

3. Wm who were dealing with a lot to be with a bw, began to wonder why he was putting up with all this, when she probably wanted a bm all along.

4. Some wm who were strongly attracted to bw, 'gave up' and slid back to ww. etc, etc, etc.

5. Wm who were easily scared off, never asked a bw out to begin with, or were extrememely reluctant to, from then on....

The bottom line that I am trying to convey here, is that words are NEVER just words. Words = power, or helplessness. Words = wealth or poverty. Words = love or hate, and words = separation or unity....

Words are life and death. Don't' ever let anyone ever tell you that words don't matter.

Remember, before Wars, before Slavery, before the Holocaust..... there were the words that brought them about.....