Evia has already done a wonderful piece on Whitney so I will just add a few comments... I cried when I found out about her death. Talk about a beautiful woman wasting herself on a ghetto crumb... It's soooo sad but I hope and pray you young women take a lesson from this musical icon. That no matter how much beauty fame, talent, money or anything else you have -a damaged man can tear it all away. I'm well aware that she made her own choices. And yes I know that she is ultimately responsible for those choices, but as with soooo many lovely -have it all black women, she was trying desperately to "keep it real" I wish she had been true to herself instead of worrying about what the bc felt or said. Notice the minute she married this man her life spiraled out of control and plummeted into an abyss from which she never really recovered. Time and again I saw her defend this man while he went to prison, ran afoul of the law, and demonstrated time and again that he was not "gentleman or husband material". In my eyes she wasted a great life. I could see the toll this horrendous marriage choice was taking on her every time I looked at her. But black people seemed to love that she has married so far beneath herself. Yet did anyone notice the moment it became palpably clear that she was suffering from substance abuse, how quickly the bc turned on her and began to call her "crackhead " and such? The pressure must have been horrible for her, always trying to keep up this sham of a marriage, always trying to smile though the pain, knowing that the minute they smell vulnerability -they will attack. And they did, they ripped her to shreds time and again. Yet notice how A. W always received sympathy and support-while being one of the biggest junkies in Hollywood!
If this sad sad tale does not move you young ladies to make better choices, I don't know what more I can say. Whitney was so talented, and so beautiful, and so loved. She had EVERYTHING
going for her! Yet it only took one very damaged man to tear down a career she has spent years building, and turn turn a once vibrant lovely woman into a cracked out shell. Take a lesson from the dead, get away from these damaged men as fast as your legs can take you. Don't listen to bc they are doomed and want to take you down with them (misery really does love company). Whitney, who was brought up in a good home with class and manners was practically coerced into dating and marrying a man had multiple OOW children, numerous drug arrests, and many other offenses. Bobby was someone she should have not given the time of day to. And yet she allowed him into her life because she desperately wanted bp to 'approve' of her! They were never going to approve of her- many of them were mired in jealousy over her money, talent and fame! They rejoiced when she married him because subconsciously they knew she, and her red hot career were terminally doomed from that point on, and that is exactly what happened. Her demise began long before that unconscious fall to the floor. It began the moment she smiled back at Bobby.......
I know sometimes I seem over blunt but the time for subtlety has passed. Bw you must save yourselves! No one is coming to rescue us because they see us as the fools who fight to drink the kool aide and then wonder why we're slipping away. You must leave these damaged men on the corners where you find them. Stop dragging them home trying to make "real men' of them. It's not going to happen they are too far gone and they will only drag you into their own personal hell holes. We were watching a movie the other night, and a young girl was possessed by a demon. and the social worker (who had not believed it at first) was now scared of her -as the girl had murdered her friend. She asked the father, "what does she want?"
He responded, "To know what your version of hell is-and force you to live there!"
It seems to me that is exactly what a damaged man wants. To destroy everything you've worked hard for all your life. to bring you down and prove to you that "You are not all that!" To make you feel so low and lifeless that you are just another corpse without the sense to just 'lay down' Run ladies, don't walk run from the places and these people. Run for all the women who felt they could not get away despite numerous resources, like the late Ms Houston. And run for all the little children who if we don't get them out, will be slowly slaughtered. So as I cry sad tears for Whitney I will still call the women I love stuck in these places and beg them to leave....Rest in peace Whitney- and may the lord wrap you in the love and tranquility denied you on this earth...
