Black woman looking with obvious interest at handsome wm....Very attractive, and well endowed Asian man poses for camera.....
Why do people feel that they have the right to speak for bw? Why do they feel that they have the right to tell us what we feel and think? Or for that matter, what we want? It's incredible to me the number of people trying to mold and manipulate bw. I'm not only speaking in regards to Chris Rock, saying that bw were not attracted to wm, and would only "sleep with pretty white boys, but did not really want them". How would CR know, is he a black woman? No, he is not, and yet he proposes to TELL us what we want, and what we DESIRE! It's outrageous to me that men like him continue to try to control and cajole us into submission....
But more to the point, I'm speaking of a recent "committee" that was formed to decide if it was ok for bw to date out! Since when do we need anyone's permission to do as we please! Every time you turn around it seems that people are trying to tell bw what we can and cannot do, almost as if we don't have minds of our own. Case in point.... My sisters and I were at the mall the other day, and we watched a blk couple get into a disagreement because the woman told her (bf?) that she didn't like to kiss in public. After trying to no avail to change her mind, he simply grabbed the back of her permed head, leaned her backwards, and forced a rough, sloppy, wet kiss on her mouth. When he let her back up, it was obvious that she was angry and embarrassed. She angrily adjusted her clothing, and swiped roughly at her mouth. She seemed visibly upset but he smiled smugly at her, and smirked: "Now you like that sh*t -didn't you" She stalked angrily off, and when she failed to return in response to his calls, he began to curse at her. Security threw him out, and he continued to call to her. He simply could not believe that she was really angry. In his mind, he simply had the right to do what he wanted, and she was overreacting....
So many people just don't seem to understand that bw are real live human beings with thoughts and feelings of our own. It just seems that many people have created a whole industry on our backs, while trying to convince us this is what we want. From TV shows that feature the oldest and most unattractive bw they can find all the way to commercials where bw are shown clucking like chickens and rolling their necks -lord have mercy! (that's one of the most hated images for me) I remember talking with a bm in college a few years back. We were all discussing sociological influences of different types of music. When I was asked by him what type of music I liked. I answered honestly that I loved country music, and that Alan Jackson, Tim Mcgraw, and Trace Atkins were my favs. He immediately became enraged, and began to furiously tell me that it was not possible for me to like that type of music since "Black people don't like country music!" I held my ground and told him that I could like any type of music I damn well pleased, and that I did not give a damn what "other bp liked!" The only other bm in the class joined in, and they tried to intimidate me into "liking C-rap-" music. When I saw that they had no intentions of listening to me, I began to ignore them. They immediately turned to a girl wearing a rock shirt and asked her. She said that Kiss was her absolute favorite, and that she had a crush on the lead singer. All hell broke loose, and our teacher had to have them removed from the class. It was almost as if we were not "ALLOWED" to have minds, and opinions of our own.
I see this being done to bw on a constant basis. When that committee went on the radio, they did not convene to decide if BM had the right to date out. Or if WW had the right to date out, or even WM. They were ONLY concerned about BW dating out, and IF we had the right to do so. They threw the issue back and forth as if they were the owners of bw. Their speech was filled with worn out platitudes, and tired stereotypes, and in the end they (of course) decided that bw should stay in our place, and not try to escape anywhere....
I have a friend who loves to surf. She goes all over to find the best waves, and she's really good at her craft. Wm are always pleasantly surprised to see her riding the waves, and this is where she met the love of her life. However, she has had to stop telling bm about her love of the sport because they often want to argue her down about how: "bw don't surf!" The truth of the matter is that no matter what occupation you mention, there is a bw there, doing exactly what she wants to do, and we should all follow these leads.....
We are not all born of the same cloth, nor are we a homogenized unit. We are individuals -much like everyone else. It's beyond irritating to hear people trying to tell us what we're about and what we're "allowed " to like, and be like. A reader wrote me and told me that she and her family were leaving Great Adventures when a group of bp approached her and asked her who was the Chinese man she was with. She immediately replied: "Why, he's my husband, and these are my 3 children" "Then you're a sell out! One bm sneered at her. "Because bw ain't allowed to be with no Chinese!" Not wanting to raise their ire, she simply got in the car, and left, but she said the comment about not being "ALLOWED" burned her. But this is common. The community, the church, and even Hollywood is so used to manipulating bw, that they have lost the inherent ability to see her as a separate entity.........
But ladies, make no mistake about it, you do not need anyone's permission to do, be, or have anything you want in this life. The only one you owe your allegiance and loyalties to-is you...
I guess the real question here is why? Why are these people trying to control and manipulate bw? What's in it for them.
The truth of the matter is that bw are the glue that bonds several industries. Without bw the blk church would collapse in record time. Hollywood would have to find a new low-class scape goat. Hollywood would have to find a new sexually deviant scapegoat. They would also need a new non-sexual un-appealing, colorful, -willing to throw her mammyfied self to the wolves-for the ww-best friend scapegoat. Bm would go crazy because their sisters, mothers, ex, and current gfs, daughters and cousins would stop running to save them from their constant messes. They would have to bail themselves out. They would have to pay their own tickets. They would have to protest their own problems with the police, and get ww to give them emergency money. They would have to do their own laundry, and cook for themselves. There would be no women there to boost their tired, overinflated egos by fighting over them. They would actually have to drive their own raggedy cars, and buy their own sagging pants. And there is no way they could stand on the corners all days inhaling those 40s because they'd have to pay their own rent, so this would necessitate them actually working! (heaven forbid!) They'd have to pay their OWN child support!, and pick up their own checks!
No, there is no way bm intend to give bw up. We are far to valuable as a commodity. And this is why they will try to convince bw that she is not attracted to other races, or that other races don't want her. This is why CR told that lie, because he and most other bm want desperately for it to be true-but it's not. The truth is ... Wm are some of the hottest, sexiest men on this earth, and for the life of me I cannot figure out why every bw does not snatch one up-but don't tell them I said so, because as a bw, I'm not allowed to think that........
