The hidden lie that keeps some sistas away from white men....

Don't let hidden falsehoods keep you from a fantastic husband, and father for your babies....

Alot more sistas are dating/mating out, but alot still are clinging to a bygone past. And worried about how a wm will fit into her life. Sometimes the reason bw have not stepped off the platform, are hidden, and unspoken.....

Between the blatant disrespect, baby mama drama, WW worship, and man-sharing, I think we sistas have some damn good reasons for dating/marrying out! I just wonder what will happen when these relationships are as common as bm/ww relationships are now? How do you think the world will react when black female-white male marriages explode- and why the sudden increase now?
As you may know. White male/black female marriages have increased 171%!!! Versus the opposite which are increasing at only half that rate. Now yes, there are certainly more bm/ww marriages, but many of them are based on false principals, which is why they often don't last. (such as pissing bw off, trophy status, false myths of ww superior beauty, or bm having super-sized penises)

(psst BM DO NOT HAVE EXTRA LARGE PENISES-THAT IS JUST A MYTH-and has absolutely no basis in reality!!!

Basically we all know they (bm) have therefore proven themselves to be far less likely to succeed, or even try to be good fathers for their children. I read recently that nearly 4/5 of the biracial children in foster care are the children of black fathers and white mothers! Apparently when the man leaves, or no longer wants to be bothered the kids are put in foster care by their mothers who have no intentions of taking on the hardships of raising a black child. I also read the children least likely to be in foster care are the mixed children of white men and Asian women. They also seem to have the longest lasting marriages. What is significant however, is that black women/white men are right behind them on both counts! Their children are the 2nd least likely to be in foster care and their marriages are the 2nd most likely (of mixed marriages) to survive!

There are many, many excellent reasons to marry white men, but the fact that they seem to believe so strongly in marriage is one of my very favorite reasons. That and the fact that for the most part they are very devoted fathers are big pluses for me. Especially knowing how many sistas are trying to raise their children alone. The main obstacle seems to me, to be bw worrying about how bm will react .(And yes, they are often bitter) And worrying that you will have to give up good sex! This is ridiculous, but many bw are worried due to the lies and misrepresentations going around, that wm are not good in bed and that they are abnormally 'small' in that department. Ladies, let me tell you how this works to your advantage. Just think of what ww experience when they fall happily into bed with bm only to learn it was just a myth about the super big size! Not only is she likely to be bitterly disappointed (because she was expecting something totally unrealistic) but he is likely to be upset and self-conscious as well. He knows he cannot measure up to what she's been fantasizing about, and he can not bs his way out of it! Since wm are outpacing BM in the boardroom, the halls of education, and careers, all he has is this tired, antiquated myth to hang his self esteem on. This is why he will fight tooth and nail to keep it going. The truth is, BM are NOT bigger, and certainly not better in bed than WM!! Oops, guess I let the cat out of the bag. The truth is: It's about the person, not the race! But much more than that. I think it's more about how compatible you are with that person, and whether you two click. I decided to get more than just my opinion on this. I've talked to several friends interracially married to white men, to get a fix on this, and they all swear their husbands are great in bed. No, you will not have to give up good sex if you are with a WM!! I don't know where that rumor started, but it's just not true.

However, it will be a bit different because yes, it really is sort of pink, and so the hell what! Tell me something, who cares what color it is, as long as it works? I don't and you shouldn't either. To me that is a non-issue, I just don't give a damn about something so trivial. It's also weird because I don't think I have ever heard bm complain or express concern that the ww was 'pink'- Yet, some of you sistas seem so worried about what color it is!! (lord have mercy!)

Let that silly mess go, and act like adults. After all pink is a very pretty color! ha ha.

Making love is about (or supposed to be about) the giving and exchanging of affection for each other. When did it become a contact sport? Stop allowing it to turned into a graded exercise! If he is good to you, If he provides what you are looking for, if he is a good father to the children, and makes you feel special-then I guarantee you will become 'hot' for him, and the sex will be great!

How can I say this? Because for women, sex starts the minute you two start to interact-not the minute you hit the bedroom. For women it is about her feeling loved, secure, protected, and cherished! These things mean so much more to us than 'how many times he can go' or how big 'it is' or how fast he can make us 'come'. Ladies, I think we all can relate to either you or a friend of yours who was in a relationship with a man who was 'technically good' but not worth a damn. I'm sure you all noticed how after awhile sex was the last thing she wanted from him! You see he was not being good OUT OF BED! And when a man is not good out of bed, it does not make a damn bit of difference how 'so called good' he is in it! Because the woman will be turned off -and unable to enjoy sex with him! Sex starts in the mind!!! Did you hear me? Let me say that again. Sex starts in the mind! All the 'techniques in the world cannot make it good, if she feels used, misunderstood, ignored, hurt, angry, lonely. etc. The best way a man can be a really good lover to a woman is to treat her right out of bed, and treat sex as an expression of love and not a graded exercise!

And this is why WM are usually the best lovers. They are far more selfless and loving in bed. They are usually far more concerned with whether you are pleased, and satisfied.....

So just relax and learn to laugh at the silly little reasons we humans worry about insipid things. The important thing is a good man who loves, honors, and cherishes you. Stop worrying about silly myths and old wives tales. WM can be great lovers, like anyone else. But the more important thing to remember is most of them also make great friends, husbands and daddies!

White men don't want you-and other lies.....

CHOOSE!!! -You can be lonely and unfulfilled, or have hot, steaming love! The choice is yours. Decide what you want, and choose the path that will give it to you....

This was posted on a site geared toward bw, by a bm. Ladies, it's very important for you to learn to recognize one of the many voices of manipulation. This man pretended to be interested in bw, and concerned about their welfare. I can assure you his real concern was for bm only. A thousand times per day we are bombarded with the message that our only solace, companionship, and refuge must come from the arms of a bm. This is so untrue, I get so tired of sistas asking me if wm really like bw! They are so beaten down and indoctrinated into societal lies that they cannot see what is right before them! Yes, many wm most certainly do like bw. Do not believe the hype. Read the following letter from this bm and see if you can spot the many ways sistas are being manipulated into believing wm don't want them, then I will come back in and tell you how to easily snare a good wm.....

By Swade:
Do white men for the MAJORITY find black women attractive? For the most part...no. I have a lot of white friends and few of them talk about being attracted to black women. I'll get the occasional "Beyounce looks good" or "Tyra Banks is hot"..but for the most part..white men don't find black women attractive Threre's a video explaining all this on you tube. Not all Black women have attitudes, but black women in a whole are percieved that way by other races...including her own black men. Think about it..if a black man can't deal with one's attitude..what makes you think a white man can.I know what's coming next.."well, a wouldn't have a attitude with a white man as I would with a brotha". Lets be serious. If white men liked black women as much as the "claim"..why aren't black wmen and white men marriages higher than 5%. Keep in mind..their is a greater population of white males than black males and/or black females. Basically saying...there is a small population of white men who would date black women.Am I saying black women aren't desirable...No. They are..but they are more so desired by black men than any other race. So when you hear black women talk about the "dating white man movement"..you have to consider one thing. "A white man wanting you"
So the question is..where are all these whitemen "supposedly" wanting blk women.

Yes, many wm most certainly do like bw. Do no believe the hype. I think I have told you ladies before but it certainly bears repeating. Never trust someone to tell you how go get out of a ditch, if he benefits by you staying in it! Bm benefit by bw staying lonely, confused, and vulnerable. (IE, easy prey) They well almost NEVER tell you how to attract wm or any other kind. They will also rarely marry bw, and try to keep her for use in their harem, with lies and deceptions. They do not have a sista's best interest at heart, she therefore will never gain from their advice. I, on the other hand, want you all to be happily married, and procreating. The last thing I, and others like me want is for you all to be sad, lonely, and unfulfilled. When it comes to wm, know that many, many wm want you. More wm want bw, than there will ever be enough bw to fill the order. Many more are simply open to a woman of Any color who is a good companion, loving, easy to talk to, and open. Many of you sistas looking for men, are NOT OPEN! You are still afraid of what the bc might say, and your body language/tone of voice is giving you away. It always has and it always will! That is why it is sooooo important to practice being comfortable with any, and everyone. I guess this is easier for me since I came up in a military family and lived all over the US. But with practice, anyone can learn to be comfortable with a variety of people. Just learn to be open. I will tell you a secret that may make this easier. Many men cannot talk to other men about serious subjects in their lives for fear of looking weak. He desperately wants someone he can tell all his secrets to, but many times there is no one who he can trust enough. (especially for Alpha males) Therefore, he is as my grandmother used to say, "ripe for the pickin" You see, just like bm often don't appreciate bw (many times) Most ww don't appreciate their wm either. They are many times (not always) spoiled, and self interested. They want to talk about their day, their dreams, their fears, their aspirations with no thought as to his. Most all men need to desperately talk about the things going on in their lives, just like women. The difference is that we usually have a close friend or relative we can talk to about everything. They most often don't. And if he has a lot of stress or strain in his life, he will need someone to talk to all the more. That means he needs a discreet woman in his life, who he can tell all his deepest hopes and dreams to. Know that if you can suck a man's dream, hopes, fears from his mind, you can easily suck his heart right from his chest! Ask any secretary (no matter how plain) who has stolen a married man. She will tell you that she became his sounding board. He talked to her about EVERYTHING and then he could not seem to be without her. See he had TALKED his way into love with her. Most men don't have affairs because their wives get fat! No, they have affairs because their wives stop listening! Like I said, since he usually can only share so much with his male friends, this leaves him with no one to talk to! Can you see how vulnerable he is at this point? Now, I am not telling you ladies this so you can go out and steal married men! Please don't do that! I am telling you this so you can go out and snag single men. Be open, be friendly, be calm, rationale and have a great ear. Of course you know to look nice, clean, and be in reasonably good shape. but it's much more important to have a pleasant, easy to know personality. Really hear when he's talking to you, don't just wait for him to shut up- so you can talk. (this is what many people do-and it's very irritating) Most of all, don't believe the bull about wm not wanting bw. WM, like most men, want women who want them! You have a thousand times greater chance of pulling a good wm just by being friendly and open, as you do by ignoring him and being cold. If he has never dated a bw, he will be doubly fearful of crossing that line. So if you see him teetering on the edge, reach out a bit and snatch him over-You'll both be glad you did. But whatever you do, know that you are wonderful, wanted, and if you want one-they are definitely there for the taking......Please don't listen to the voice of doom, they don't have your best interests at heart. They will cause you to be worried, insecure, and lonely. These emotions are all a turn off to a potential mate. He is looking for someone secure, confident, and outgoing-or at least personable. So it's extremely important to negate these neg. messages, and EXPECT him to want you. We very often get what we EXPECT from life.....