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Saturday, September 27, 2008

The hidden lie that keeps some sistas away from white men....



Don't let hidden falsehoods keep you from a fantastic husband, and father for your babies....


Alot more sistas are dating/mating out, but alot still are clinging to a bygone past. And worried about how a wm will fit into her life. Sometimes the reason bw have not stepped off the platform, are hidden, and unspoken.....

Between the blatant disrespect, baby mama drama, WW worship, and man-sharing, I think we sistas have some damn good reasons for dating/marrying out! I just wonder what will happen when these relationships are as common as bm/ww relationships are now? How do you think the world will react when black female-white male marriages explode- and why the sudden increase now?
As you may know. White male/black female marriages have increased 171%!!! Versus the opposite which are increasing at only half that rate. Now yes, there are certainly more bm/ww marriages, but many of them are based on false principals, which is why they often don't last. (such as pissing bw off, trophy status, false myths of ww superior beauty, or bm having super-sized penises)

(psst BM DO NOT HAVE EXTRA LARGE PENISES-THAT IS JUST A MYTH-and has absolutely no basis in reality!!!

Basically we all know they (bm) have therefore proven themselves to be far less likely to succeed, or even try to be good fathers for their children. I read recently that nearly 4/5 of the biracial children in foster care are the children of black fathers and white mothers! Apparently when the man leaves, or no longer wants to be bothered the kids are put in foster care by their mothers who have no intentions of taking on the hardships of raising a black child. I also read the children least likely to be in foster care are the mixed children of white men and Asian women. They also seem to have the longest lasting marriages. What is significant however, is that black women/white men are right behind them on both counts! Their children are the 2nd least likely to be in foster care and their marriages are the 2nd most likely (of mixed marriages) to survive!

There are many, many excellent reasons to marry white men, but the fact that they seem to believe so strongly in marriage is one of my very favorite reasons. That and the fact that for the most part they are very devoted fathers are big pluses for me. Especially knowing how many sistas are trying to raise their children alone. The main obstacle seems to me, to be bw worrying about how bm will react .(And yes, they are often bitter) And worrying that you will have to give up good sex! This is ridiculous, but many bw are worried due to the lies and misrepresentations going around, that wm are not good in bed and that they are abnormally 'small' in that department. Ladies, let me tell you how this works to your advantage. Just think of what ww experience when they fall happily into bed with bm only to learn it was just a myth about the super big size! Not only is she likely to be bitterly disappointed (because she was expecting something totally unrealistic) but he is likely to be upset and self-conscious as well. He knows he cannot measure up to what she's been fantasizing about, and he can not bs his way out of it! Since wm are outpacing BM in the boardroom, the halls of education, and careers, all he has is this tired, antiquated myth to hang his self esteem on. This is why he will fight tooth and nail to keep it going. The truth is, BM are NOT bigger, and certainly not better in bed than WM!! Oops, guess I let the cat out of the bag. The truth is: It's about the person, not the race! But much more than that. I think it's more about how compatible you are with that person, and whether you two click. I decided to get more than just my opinion on this. I've talked to several friends interracially married to white men, to get a fix on this, and they all swear their husbands are great in bed. No, you will not have to give up good sex if you are with a WM!! I don't know where that rumor started, but it's just not true.

However, it will be a bit different because yes, it really is sort of pink, and so the hell what! Tell me something, who cares what color it is, as long as it works? I don't and you shouldn't either. To me that is a non-issue, I just don't give a damn about something so trivial. It's also weird because I don't think I have ever heard bm complain or express concern that the ww was 'pink'- Yet, some of you sistas seem so worried about what color it is!! (lord have mercy!)
Let that silly mess go, and act like adults. After all pink is a very pretty color! ha ha.
Making love is about (or supposed to be about) the giving and exchanging of affection for each other. When did it become a contact sport? Stop allowing it to turned into a graded exercise! If he is good to you, If he provides what you are looking for, if he is a good father to the children, and makes you feel special-then I guarantee you will become 'hot' for him, and the sex will be great!
How can I say this? Because for women, sex starts the minute you two start to interact-not the minute you hit the bedroom. For women it is about her feeling loved, secure, protected, and cherished! These things mean so much more to us than 'how many times he can go' or how big 'it is' or how fast he can make us 'come'. Ladies, I think we all can relate to either you or a friend of yours who was in a relationship with a man who was 'technically good' but not worth a damn. I'm sure you all noticed how after awhile sex was the last thing she wanted from him! You see he was not being good OUT OF BED! And when a man is not good out of bed, it does not make a damn bit of difference how 'so called good' he is in it! Because the woman will be turned off -and unable to enjoy sex with him! Sex starts in the mind!!! Did you hear me? Let me say that again. Sex starts in the mind! All the 'techniques in the world cannot make it good, if she feels used, misunderstood, ignored, hurt, angry, lonely. etc. The best way a man can be a really good lover to a woman is to treat her right out of bed, and treat sex as an expression of love and not a graded exercise!
And this is why WM are usually the best lovers. They are far more selfless and loving in bed. They are usually far more concerned with whether you are pleased, and satisfied.....

So just relax and learn to laugh at the silly little reasons we humans worry about insipid things. The important thing is a good man who loves, honors, and cherishes you. Stop worrying about silly myths and old wives tales. WM can be great lovers, like anyone else. But the more important thing to remember is most of them also make great friends, husbands and daddies!

160 comments:

dee said...

Other races/colors of other men can be too y'know.

Taylor-Sara said...

No, dee. I have no idea what you mean.... too what?

Anonymous said...

Sara, you can say alot of things about bm. They sometimes don't take care of their have alot of problems with the law and maybe sometimes they are a tad unambitious,and need a little help. But you can never take from them that they are not good in bed! That's just crazy talk! Everybody knows they are good in bed that's why the white girls are so crazy about them! They have to beat the wg's off with a stick for Some reason!

Jess said...

Mmm...even if bm have a longer penis, it is not lenght but THICKNESS that influences how pleasurable sex is for a woman!! Besides, a man has to know how to work what he has, and I've heard even from white women that bm are too rough in bed (and ww that I talked to DID NOT like that) and are also selfish in bed.

Anonymous said...

All of the beautiful bw pictured down the side of your blog with wm look VERY 'satisfied'lol!!;)

jazine said...

Sorry, Anon. Black men are not by default good in bed...trust me. Sometimes we can't let go of our preconceptions of people, even when they prove us wrong. For example, some racist whites can't fathom intelligent blacks even when they encounter them. They stubbornly want to cling to their preconceived notions in order to feel better and safe. There's also black people who feel all whites are bad, even they meet ones who defy the stereotype.

I never understood the hype about black men. The hype was never earned nor deserved. Why do so many bw give bm more slack than non-bm men? I keep hearing these cautionary messages of not seeing wm as white knights. I wish bw would take this same advice in regards to wm and apply it to bm. Stop giving bm a free pass on responsibility. A pass they certainly do not give to wm in general. If anything, they scrutinize wm in ways they never would bm. Scrutinize all men PERIOD.

Sorry for the rant, Sara, but I'm so tired of the black men are all that bullcrap rhetoric, like how hot they ALL are and how great they ALL are in bed.

Leah said...

Sara, you can say alot of things about bm. They sometimes don't take care of their have alot of problems with the law and maybe sometimes they are a tad unambitious,and need a little help. But you can never take from them that they are not good in bed! That's just crazy talk! Everybody knows they are good in bed that's why the white girls are so crazy about them! They have to beat the wg's off with a stick for Some reason!

Well although I have yet to be with a wm sexually, maybe I have been with the wrong bm because no bm I have been with has had more than 6 inches(average) of penis and not one has brought me to climax. I guess I need to go where the wg's are going because no one was doing it for me like that.

Halima said...

sara if thats the reason why some bw wont date IR then i can only say they are 'reaching' for an excuse lol!

first of all sexual parts are not ment to be 'pretty' in the classic sense. thats why you have to be in 'the mood' to appreciate what each other's got! So all that talk about color just means that the person hasnt yet undersood what our 'bits and pieces' are about. (yep lets go there). I just think its all one more cooked up excuse bw want to hold between them and their broader choices, and you know what, 'let 'em' if they so desire.

however if as a bw you think this is a genuine concern standing between you and dating wider, and vice versa for wm, my suggestion is to visit a few of those 'sites', and check out the look, its all there. no need to wonder and worry !
The IR Dating Book

Aphrodite said...

Anon that is a stone lie. BM are not the best in bed and definitely aren't all well endowed either.

As far as WW- who cares?

I just know that the myths about BM sexuality are not true at all.

Taylor-Sara said...

Anon, my first husband was black, so I KNOW that is not true! He was very selfish in bed (and out of it) It's the person, not the race!And Halima is absolutely right, if a woman is so worried about such trivial things she is definitely 'reaching' for reasons not to date and mate out. But I hear bw bringing up the pink color every time an unsure bw asks about IR dating (on Internet sites) Basically these are the bm police protectors Evia often speaks of. They are using something so stupid to keep the women where they feel she belongs....-with sorry behind men who will disrespect, use, humiliate and discard her....

Aphrodite said...

Jess and Leah,

I have to agree with you both. My experiences with BM have been that they are extremely rough, very selfish, and take offense at being given general directions as to how I "work".


Then proceeded to inform me as to how I "work" i.e. whatever they read about women, heard on a TV show, saw in porn, talked about with their friends. 'Cause you know that information is much more valid that hearing it from the person you are actually having sex with.


Never had an orgasm with one either and I have even met a few who were smaller than 6".


Then there were the BM who really enjoy this whole sexual humiliation thing.


Turned me off to sex completely. I don't know if I can ever get over being scarred by BM in this way.

lola said...

@ Anon

But you can never take from them that they are not good in bed! That's just crazy talk! Everybody knows they are good in bed that's why the white girls are so crazy about them! They have to beat the wg's off with a stick for Some reason!

Like Sara said in this post, it is a myth and a stereotype. But let's pretend it's not a MYTH and suppose ALL/MOST BM have big penises and as a result give good sex (which is stupid cause having a big penis doesn't mean you give good sex) : If ALL a man can give me is good sex, he's basically saying that he's not that different from a VIBRATOR. Don't you find that pathetic?

It's a shame so many BM can't see themselves as more than WALKING VIBRATORS and use that LITTLE argument to "compete" with other men. What about their intelligence? Wisdom? Aspirations? Their ability to be good lovers, friends and fathers?

MEN in general are MUCH MORE than their penises, they're not sex objects. But REAL MEN are the ones aware of it, they don't walk around promoting their "big penises", denying they have a heart, a mind and a soul. Physical needs are important, but REAL MEN (and real women) know that their partners have emotional and spiritual needs too, therefore they have MORE to give than just sex.

Some of you "big penises having brothas" (and we all know it's a myth) have a lot to learn from other men of the global village about what being a REAL MAN is all about.

CW said...

Notice how quickly dissenters jumped on this one...More of the TRUTH needs to come out...I smell fear...

Shirley said...

I've dated black men and white men. I've found that with the black men I'VE dated, there was a familiarity (the whole 'sista' thing) that bred contempt. With the black men, I was expected to understand that he had one or two other women that he had to deal with and I had to understand why he was under-employed. There was no romance, either. I just got the impression that I should've been lucky to find a black man at all. Has anyone ever had that experience?

Anyway, I began dated and eventually married my husband who is white. He is just so romantic and refreshing. And he is easily the best lover I've ever had. At first, I was very nervous to dive in because I was very shy to be seen with him in public (this was 9 years ago.) But, I want to cry when I think about what I almost missed out on because I was worried about what others would think.

Taylor-Sara said...

Ah... Shirley we are soooo happy for you. I love to hear about sistas doing what's best for THEM and no one else.....
Bottom line is there is NO WAY for a man to be good in bed for a woman is he is NOT good out of it!
Sex for women starts from a much earlier point in the day. When he comes in does he kiss her, tell her how adorable she looks trying to get dinner on the stove. Or if it's obvious she hates to cook (like me) will he offer to take her out to eat... This is the stuff that makes it good for women regardless of his actual performance. If he's being a jerk all day the last thing the wife wants is to sleep with him, and if she does (because he pressured her,) I can assure you no matter how 'good' he is technically, she will NOT enjoy it. She will simply bide her time, or try to force herself to 'come' so it can be over. All the while resentment will be builing within her.... Making love for women starts from hello, not from "lets get undressed"....

Aphrodite said...

"I've dated black men and white men. I've found that with the black men I'VE dated, there was a familiarity (the whole 'sista' thing) that bred contempt. With the black men, I was expected to understand that he had one or two other women that he had to deal with and I had to understand why he was under-employed. There was no romance, either. I just got the impression that I should've been lucky to find a black man at all. Has anyone ever had that experience?"



So true, so true...

I have found romance seriously MIA among BM as well as the attitude that you should be grateful that you are with one.



But congrats that you found it elsewhere. I know that must be a wonderful, pleasant change.

Anonymous said...

I think anon was being sarcastic, but anywhoo, not a biggie.

Funny enough, I always feel oddly sorry for non-black women who like to point out their boyfriends are black (as if that will sting me or something). Truthfully, I just feel sorry for the life I know they will live. I also have to wonder what is wrong with them, why they can't get another man, LOL!

Personally, the best men I have been with were white. I agree that bm tend to be selfish in bed, or at least unaware that they may need to actually find out what your needs are. I think they are so sure they know what they are doing, they dont even consider that there may be something specific you need. As far as size, that is such a myth. The most disapointing sex I've ever had, was with a severely small (like 2+ in) bm who screwed like he was hung like a horse, and an average sized bm who suffered from premature ejaculation. The best was with a rather big wm, who was very attentive, and experimaental, and a less than average wm, who was so intense, I was shocked to see what he was working with. I usually don't have sex with most Asian men I date, sorry to say. However, if I do, they usually are Indian or Middle Eastern. Nothing out of the ordinary to report there. Not that I am trying to screw the rainbow coalition or anything, but I kinda wished I had indulged an Asian of the Orient, just to see, but they never seemed to get me there. Oh well, so much for that; right now I am on a significant break, until I meet THE ONE, and I doubt he will be Asian (since it has been so hard for me to break past racist ethnic values with them or mostly their family and friends).

I comment here often, but due to my graphic accounts, I am going to remain anon on this one. peace

Anonymous said...

The lies continue. I had a "concerned" brotha contact me regarding my Myspace page. He thought it didn't look to good for an attractive sista such as myself to have soo many white men as friends. People might get the wrong idea. Black Queens should be treasured. I laughed sooo hard. Especially after visiting his page which looked a BET video exploded. But its ok to have naked women on his page. The white men who asked to be my friend and approached me with the respect that I demand are inherently evil. I told him a thing or three and then blocked him from contacting me.

HBC said...

I'm glad this topic is finally being addressed.

I probably shouldn't reveal this but I like going to Craig's List, Causual Encounters section when I'm bored just to check out the guys on there "revealing themselves" (no causual encounters for me,ever)and most of them are wm and most of them are HUGE, trust me. There were also wm that I've known that were very well endowed.

So please, don't listen to negative hear-say and stereotypes involving wm's sexually because of it is just that, negative hear-say.

And definitely don't buy into the whole bm are the most endowed myth, because it is just that a MYTH.

sky said...

i agree w/ everything posted here. i noticed the same selfishness w/ my ex. it's like he pretty much wanted me to lay there while he did his whatever. if i wanted to please him, he wouldn't let me touch or kiss him. it got to the point of saying in my head B-O-R-I-N-G!!! i think he also had self-esteem issues cuz once he was done he would hide his dick from me, and quickly put his drawers back on. im like wtf??? so whenever i hear this penis myth from ww. i don't even correct them. i just laugh and let them find out for themselves. you almost never hear how this same big penis is pleasing them/making love to them. you just hear "big penis".

Anonymous said...

Shirley that last part almost brought a tear to my eye that is just so beautiful!!

LOL @ Rainbow Coalition.

The last black "man" I thought I was in love with burned me literally with 2 STD's but that was my fault for believing he had went to the doctor and was being faithful. I just thank god everyday its solmething that was curable! And the crazy part was I would find the condom we had "just used" on the bed still in its wrapper...smh I was sooo stupid!!! Im sick of people always defending these black "men"! The other day someone brought up Obama as being a good black man but I thought to myself wasn't he raised by a white man??

Anonymous said...

BM are very selfish in the bedroom half of them don't even want to go down!

Taylor-Sara said...

Wow, Mr troll. You guys should 'how to be original' since you all say the same stupid thing-so funny, and so pathethic. But I get immense pleasure knowing how much this blog pisses y'all off. So thanks for making my day...

ava said...

In the movie Lakeview Terrace, Samuel Jackson says that the white male character does not know how to satisfy his wife.

I was dating a white man not long ago but I never slept with him. However, I have the feeling that he is a good lover. When I was seeing him, my black male friend wanted to know every detail:). Also, every black girlfriend that I have who is dating a white guy is very satisfied sexually. Like someone said that is the last thing that the black man has to hang onto as an advantage over white men.

dee said...

What I meant to say, Sarah is that other races of men are great other than just white men. I don't dislike them, I just feel you're not talking about other races of men such as Asian, Latin, Arab, and Black men who are not from the U.S. It just seems like you talk about them all the time. Sometimes you do, sometimes you don't based on the collection of celebrity and real-life couples.


That's what I meant.

Anonymous said...

The Pink Penis doesn't bother me because it actually turns me on. Watching his penis enter my vagina excites me. The contrast between our skin colors is hot; and it adds to the excitement of the sex.

Taylor-Sara said...

Anon, I know what you mean. I love the contrast of skin tones, and like I said pink is a really nice color....

Anonymous said...

"The Pink Penis doesn't bother me because it actually turns me on. Watching his penis enter my vagina excites me. The contrast between our skin colors is hot; and it adds to the excitement of the sex."

Anon i couldn't agree with you more. I find that wm in general are just right, perfect length and width.

JaliliMaster said...

"Anonymous said...
The Pink Penis doesn't bother me because it actually turns me on. Watching his penis enter my vagina excites me. The contrast between our skin colors is hot; and it adds to the excitement of the sex."

Sorry, but how does one 'watch' a penis enter her own vagina? Either you must be doing some very streinous yoga, your man positions himself in some very weird way, you use a small hand-held mirror, or your one of those people whose head isn't attached to their neck. Lol!

Anonymous said...

Sorry, but how does one 'watch' a penis enter her own vagina? Either you must be doing some very streinous yoga, your man positions himself in some very weird way, you use a small hand-held mirror, or your one of those people whose head isn't attached to their neck. Lol!

What a stupid remark, you simply lift your head off the pillow and LOOK!!! I watch my blond hunk, husband all the time and I love to see it too. What the hell is that supposed to mean? Are you just trying to start something?

Aphrodite said...

"She will simply bide her time, or try to force herself to 'come' so it can be over."


I guess "fake" would be more appropriate. I can't even imagine how dumb they are that they never noticed that I was faking.

Or I suppose they just never cared.

Aphrodite said...

HBC, tsk, tsk, tsk...naughty - naughty. ;)

When did men get so bold as to do that? I can remember making special requests and being looked at as if insane. My how things have changed.




Anon I am sorry that happened. Thank God it was curable. You must protect yourself always. I think many BM live in la la land when it comes to sexual health and protection.

Anonymous said...

"Sorry, but how does one 'watch' a penis enter her own vagina? Either you must be doing some very streinous yoga, your man positions himself in some very weird way, you use a small hand-held mirror, or your one of those people whose head isn't attached to their neck. Lol!"


What a silly remark.

Anonymous said...

"What a stupid remark, you simply lift your head off the pillow and LOOK!!!"


EXACTLY!


"Are you just trying to start something?"

That's the impression i got.

clarice said...

Good in bed is about the character of the person you are with and how you feel before during and after. Character and quality matter more than color or equipment. Good sex starts before you even get physical if you want more than just a physical thing. A man's a person's actions speak to character and ability to be caring, compassionate, responsive, responsible, intelligent, considerate, protective - all characteristics of a good lover - funny none of those is linked to anatomy. Satisfying intimacy is about meeting not just the physical needs but the emotional, spiritual, mental and psychological needs - to include feeling safe, secure, protected and respected as a whole complete individual by another whole healthy individual.

Excellent post Sara

vera said...

This is the post I've been waiting for! I wondered when someone would be bold enough to broach it. I should have known it would be you Sara, you are truly fearless! Did y'all hear about the woman on you tube who was bragging about how good her white man was in bed, and was harrassed so bad by bm and mammies she took it down? This is why no one wants to ever touch this subject. BM lose their minds. My brother had the nerve to ask me if my white fiance was 'good' in bed. I dodged the question for months, but he kept asking. I then finally told him he was fantastic, and he lost his mind!! He called me a liar and told all his friends that I was slut and traitor. (keep in mind his girl is white- and she secretly told me he could use some help in bed)lol-it's like he could only tolerate me and brad if he thought he was bad in bed.....
Thanks girl, love your blog

ava said...

If you are not overweight, you must certainly should be able to see a man's penis enter you.

Anonymous said...

Women have been lying to BM who are lousy in bed forever! The majority of them actually think that they are great lovers when in fact they are not!

Women need to tell these men the honest truth how bad they really are, forget their egos.

Many BW are looking for intimate relationships and that is the reason so many of them have lowered their standards just to be with them.

Now several women are realizing that you can have better relationships with men of different cultures.

My preference is Latino men and the ones that I have dated were HOT! They treated me like a Queen and of course the BM hated it and I really do not care. Everyone has a preference and I date who I want to.

Even the German women here in Germany are getting tired of the American BM with their games and dishonesty. They are specifically saying in their personal ads, no games, no cheaters and no immature men are wanted, they want honest and responsible men.

TC said...

Interesting responses, LOL. I think I know why many are stating WM are better lovers than BM---it's b/c when one assumes they are the best they don't try improving. If you're already starting from behind (or think you are) what do you do? You get books and technique videos, learn romance, perhaps even ASK a woman what she wants.

"(BM) sometimes don't take care of their have alot of problems with the law and maybe sometimes they are a tad unambitious,and need a little help. But you can never take from them that they are not good in bed!"

What is this person on and where can I get a prescription? I wrote a blog about why you should pick a president the same way you would pick a surgeon. Maybe I should have written one on how to choose a lover b/c this woman needs help. Looking over all these faults and saying a man is good in bed is like having a child molestor as a babysitter and telling me he loves kids. BW w/ sense are not going to let no job having, umabitious good for nothings plow us into the mattress.

Gloryus said...

To ANON @ 9:28:
I agree about the Myspace thing. I cant tell you how many times I have been harrassed on myspace because MOST of my friends there are white guys or that I have pictures of shirtless sexy white guys there lol. Thank God the block feature is available, but I always give those idiots a piece of my mind.


"The Pink Penis doesn't bother me because it actually turns me on. Watching his penis enter my vagina excites me. The contrast between our skin colors is hot; and it adds to the excitement of the sex."


I TOTALLY agree. There are other positions where you can 'watch' lol like sitting on the couch, on top of him (LUVS IT lol). I do enjoy watching... I can be a pervETTE when I want to be one lol.
*** Generally, white men arent better lovers than black men and black men arent better lovers than white men. I think all races have an equal share of 'good lovers' and 'bad lovers'. Ive been with only 1 white guy who I can say was JUST THAT BAD lol. He had a penis that was 9inches in length and about 6.5 in width and after that experience I said Im NEVER going that big again. I had to break things off because the sex wasnt good for ME. I'd say that the PERFECT size would be around 6.5 or 7 in length and around 5.5 or 6 in circumference. Sorry if Im being a bit of a pervETTE lol, but that's what works best for me. I REALLY DONT GET WHAT THE BUZZ IS ABOUT REALLY BIG PRICKS TO BE HONEST, IT ISNT THAT FUN BECAUSE THE SEX IS UNCOMFORTABLE, PAINFUL AND NO ORGASM FOR ME. When there isnt going to be an orgasm for me, that BECOMES a problem lol.

Delishmish said...

These comments are quite amusing to me.

Does anyone REALLY speculate about the COLOR of a penis???? Especially at a er, critical moment!!!!

I have no personal knowledge of these things as I am a virgin...lol..(while dodging the thunderbolt)

Everyone...
close your eyes..

SEE.... no diffference!!!!

or so I have heard...lol

color is the LEAST of any problem IMO.

Taylor-Sara said...

delish, you are so crazy! That's why I decided to let the people tell from their own experiences, because I have to admit I am woefully underexperienced when it comes to this topic.I'm extremely discriminating, and I've had very few lovers. However, I do remember that my first husband was adequate but selfish in bed. But I definitely agree why would anyone want an enormous penis? That sounds painful to me.....

The Oracle said...

My preference is Latino men and the ones that I have dated were HOT!

________________

Girl me too! LOVE me some Latin men :D Just wrote a blog about it lol

Glad you wrote a topic about sex. I was wondering when it would come up (no pun intended) :p Let me tell yall about **MY** experiences:

BM: I agree with everybody else. They tend to be EXTREMLY selfish in bed. A good majority of them don't like to go down and the ones that do... arent very good at it =/

WM: Im not gonna lie the white guy I was with did have a small one, and he could only go once =/ But his redeeming quality: He loved performing oral sex; and he was good at it too :D

HM: A lot of them are well endowed and as quiet as its kept they like to go down too :) plus Spanish during sex is very... very sexy!

ava said...

Not to change the subject but
did you see the Chris Rock special???

He just dissed black women from all angles and it was televised all over the world. He spent about a good 10 minutes just making black women look bad. He started off by talking about a black woman being first lady and said that a black woman would not make a good first lady because we talk too much. He said that she would try to take over. He went further by saying that a white woman would do everything that she was supposed to do and a black woman would screw things up. The whole audience was dying laughing and Chris Rock gets a huge audience always.

Then he had the nerve to start talking about black women's reactions to black men dating white women. He broke down how bad black women hate black men dating white women. He used the example that black women hate it more than southern white men. He went on and on about it. Then he said that black women always say that as soon as black men make some money they want white women. Then he responded to black women by saying "we also want white women before we have money". It was just humiliating.

Then he finished it off by saying that the reason that black women get so angry when they see white women with black men is because they dont like white men. In other words, they dont have options.

I was telling my girlfriend about it and she just thought it was so funny. I told her that I did not find it that funny. I told her that I could get a laugh out of it if 70% of black kids were not being raised by a single mother or I could find it humorous if 70% of black women were not single. By the way she happens to be a single mother struggling to raise a baby by herself and she is pretty and lightskinned and all.

I think that a lot of black women dont want to look at how bad the situation really is. It is too painful.

QT19 said...

Okay, this may be TMI for some, but as a woman {almost 40 yrs. old} I must say, out of 10 boyfriends back in the day {only Three did NOT satisfy me sexually} the others were Great in bed, and/or "Packing-Meat"}!
However, if you enjoy white/other non-blk. men, then enjoy yourself! have fun! :)

Anonymous said...

LOL...What is this adult night?

"But,I definitely agree why would anyone want an enormous penis?"

LOL...Have you seen some of those women in the prono movies. You could slip a man's fist in some of them. Yes, some of those women need a large one. On the other hand, if I were the man I would be very concern as to how she became to enlarge. What in the world was she doing?

a.f.

Nikki_Cola said...

All I can say is when I compare between the white men I have been with and the black men I have been with, I have never, EVER been disappointed with white men. They packed more than any of the black men I had been with and the WM I am with now...:)

Taylor-Sara said...

Mr L. As I have told you before, you cannot control me and I will speak about ANYTHING I deem worthy! I will not be posting your rantings, so go away. Why don't you take the advice I gave you earlier. You are obviously obsessed with me,(why else would you keep coming here, knowing you are are not going to like what you read?? Do I come to your blog and try to tell you what to talk about? No, I have never gone, and never will. Yet here you are again, becoming enraged over a discussion that nobody invited you to. Do yourself a favor, go seek some help!!

Nikki_Cola said...

@Ava...I saw his 'special' and I didn't find his rant on black women in the least funny. All I could think was, "How dare you talk about Michelle Obama like that?"..even though he didn't say her name outright, but still.

Selena said...

All I could think was, "How dare you talk about Michelle Obama like that?"..even though he didn't say her name outright, but still.

Make it so bad he's an Obama supporter. Go figure. Anything for a laugh huh? Glad I didn't watch it.

lola said...

@ Ava, what's interesting is that I read somewhere that Chris Rock said that "it was time BW explored their options, BM have been doing it for years, so it's only normal" or something to that extent. I don't know if that was true or just an "internet rumor". Anyway if that was true, he changed his mind pretty fast (or he never really believed in us having the right to date out).

You KNOW sh#t is bad when a BM disses a pure Lady like Michelle Obama and bigs up WW by destroying her. I'm not surprised and I don't EXPECT ANY SUPPORT from most BM anymore. Doesn't Chris always sound bitter to you? He ALWAYS did to me, from the first day I heard him. He's just an angry man, always mad at someone or something, now he's mad that so many sistas are seeing the light. But he didn't talk about BM physically harming BW for dating out. He didn't talk about all the BW being ostracized for dating and marrying non-BM. The hypocrisy is ridiculous.

To all the latino, asian, white, native american men reading this : Don't rely on ANYONE ELSE BUT BW to tell you what BW LIKE. DBRBM - DAMAGED BEYOND REPAIR - are not reliable sources. I LOVE ALL RACES OF MEN and so do my girlfriends. I don't consider BM "the best thing since sliced bread" or whatever they think they are, I just don't see the HYPE.

Taylor-Sara said...

Lola, you are so right. And a woman just cannot get any classier than Michelle. So if he can diss her what does that say about the rest of us? I am thoughly sick of this laugh at all cost bs! There is such a thing as a being a jackass, and he just personified it. I was reading a book awhile ago, where a wm was saying that bm constantly destoy any hope of getting respect and honor in America because they constantly set themselves up as the equivalent of the class clown. And that they will often stoop to the most denigrating levels to get a laugh. He went on to say, the saddest part is-they never seem to realize, nobody respects a clown....just sad..

lola said...

Sara,

I was reading a book awhile ago, where a wm was saying that bm constantly destoy any hope of getting respect and honor in America because they constantly set themselves up as the equivalent of the class clown. And that they will often stoop to the most denigrating levels to get a laugh. He went on to say, the saddest part is-they never seem to realize, nobody respects a clown....just sad..

So true!!!! OMG! D.L. Hugley dissing the Rutgers sisters on TV comes to mind. That was disgusting. And he REFUSED to apologize to BW, suprising? Not at all, of course.

sky said...

sara said..."I was reading a book awhile ago, where a wm was saying that bm constantly destoy any hope of getting respect and honor in America because they constantly set themselves up as the equivalent of the class clown. And that they will often stoop to the most denigrating levels to get a laugh. He went on to say, the saddest part is-they never seem to realize, nobody respects a clown....just sad.."

and that's why i don't take what bm say what wm think of us seriously. that statement alone explained it all.

Mary said...

“Yet, some of you sistas seem so worried about what color it is!! (lord have mercy!)”

Lord have mercy indeed. I swear, when judgement day comes, some of these bw will get b!tch-slapped by our maker. this is absolutely ridiculous. God gave you one life to live and you live it by following useless men, boosting their egos and praising them when they obviously can’t even say a kind word in return. And then you wonder why life sucks for you. Lord have mercy indeed.


“Does anyone REALLY speculate about the COLOR of a penis???? “

Delishmish, sadly there are many bw that say that they just can’t do a pink penis. But, mind you, they can deal with domestic violence, cheating, ungentleman-like behavior and abandonment. But a pink penis is a big no no for them. The first time I heard this, I was so disgusted. When I think about having a relationship, sex is not the first thing I think about. But then again, you can’t obsess over something you’ve never had.

focusedpurpose said...

hi there all-

to the commenter that indicated..." Then he responded to black women by saying "we also want white women before we have money". It was just humiliating."

i ask, humiliating for whom? the more i pay attention to the indicators the more i am convinced that birth of a nation was onto something. if quite a few black males seek to embody every racist stereotype, why should i be humiliated? even children are known by what they DO! i choose to free myself and own only that which is mine. black males' issues...not so much mine to own. i will distance myself, without apology from such beneath me behavior. if wm have such supreme power over the thoughts of some black males, why not just go straight to the source of power? (and resources:-)

apparently the little clown with the weird hands was bussed to schools where oftentimes, he was the only black guy and still he was not wanted by black girls. he seems to have held onto this anger for quite the while. those chappelle and fox clowns harbor similar resentments.

i don't support those that don't support me. i vigilantly protect my spirit from assault. if these fools stood in my backyard and clowned for free, i would close the curtains and play music. i do not nurture that which i would rather see die. simple. withhold all energy, money, time, etc. ALL is fair in love and war.

considering that these and other black males like them, seem not to know what they think until white men tell them---i cannot fret too much. i sincerely want them to have as many wm rejects as will have them. it is truly no skin off of my nose. i choose happy and freedom from the insanity. life is too short. and really, WHO really cares what ignorant bm think? are ignorant bm really KNOWN for thinking? about that...

thanks for letting me share.

blessings,
focusedpurpose

Selena said...

As for Chrisk Rock:

As I said on Evia's site, as long as fools like him and many others continue to have a black female fan base they will continue to act like the class clown. As someone pointed out, the black women were in the audience yucking it up too!

Why get insulted when you can keep your dollars in your pocket? Believe it or not Sister Perry IS feeling the crunch (his camp reads blogs too) and I'm quie sure he's seen the numbers that rolled in for Lakeview Terrace. Yes Hollywood is all about color too-the color green!

One of the most powerful things the bc has is the word-of-mouth. Believe me everyone sees and hears about bw dating out no matter how many times haters said it doesn't exist.

OT: It's ironic how Chris Rock's piece about Bw in IRR was produced right around time that the numbers have skyrocket and also right after he and his wife's divorce proceedings came to a halt.

His routine was clearly meant to give the "brothers" and the mammy supporters inspiration but its way too late for that.

Selena said...

Oh yeah, I forgot one thing:

Where are all the black women comediennes? I think I can count on one hand the “I've dated outside my race” routines performed by them.

You got women like Cheryl Underwood who’s so sick and tired of being lonely that she has casual sex with the most undesirable bm known to man (Flavor Flav). To add more insult to herself she does an online realty show about trying to find a good man. During the show one of her fellow bm comediennes even joked that she should start dating wm.

Every last one of her "opportunites" were bm. I hate to be the bearer of bad news Cheryl, but as long as you are the shade that you are, it will always be quite difficult to find a bm of substance. She can be all the Zeta-Powerful-All-Being that she is... it just ain't happening. I tell you what SHE jokes about during her routine: Her skin color and trifling bm.

Anywhoo, I think the closest to a dating-out routine by a black woman has been a small piece performed by the female comedienne Chocolate. She bragged her sexual experience with a Hispanic man.

Phantom Mare said...

Focused purpose said
the more i pay attention to the indicators the more i am convinced that birth of a nation was onto something.
__________

Ahmein! That movie was prophetic if you ask me. BM are *SO* stupid to realize it that they fulfill there every prophecy. Then they call the movie racist. As far as i am concerned King Kong is another representation of he strange love reationship between BM and WW(hence the Lebron cover some months back.)

But they are too neanderthal minded to see it. Can they all say....DUUUUUUHHHH!!

Taylor-Sara said...

y'all are deep! Those last two commnents reminded me of a book(I'm always reading) called isis papers-keys to color. In which the bw author goes into detail about how King Kong did represent bm wanting ww, as well as guns being produced (picture him hard,and naked -sideways). It was an extremely fastinating book in which she described flamingly gay bm as trying to convert to feminism to escape constant wm outrage at his presence, as well as the classic ghetto persona as being a defense mechanism against the all powerful wm. It was a really fastinating book, I did not agree with all her points, but it was extremely good reading...

sky said...

selena said.." I think the closest to a dating-out routine by a black woman has been a small piece performed by the female comedienne Chocolate. She bragged her sexual experience with a Hispanic man."

another i can think of is the lady in something new, when kenya and her boyfriend went to a comedy club(till this day i wonder why they even had a date there) and the woman was saying she doesn't date outside her race cause white men don't know how to break up w/out killing you.

Phantom Mare said...

Sara I read her book many years ago too...I don't agree with some of her point either but some stuff did stick. I forgot about that king kong comment she discussed too...LOL! I was reading in some online discussion about when it when they were coming out with that newer version a few years ago.

But interestingly, even as a young girl I saw the symbolism. But ALSO in that "audience" were BM FANS of this movie. I mean DUH! They are FANS of this movie,could they be psychologically identifying with it subconsciously???

It would seem so to be, almost like they WANT to be seen as such. A big black dopy gorilla.

Phantom Mare said...

Sara said..
in which she described flamingly gay bm as trying to convert to feminism to escape constant wm outrage at his presence, as well as the classic ghetto persona as being a defense mechanism against the all powerful wm.
____________

Wow! LOL. Is this why there are so many DLBM?

I am so glad I am woman. I am glad who my Creator made me to be. BM may see it as something to step on but I see it as a blessing.

energize said...

Good topic. Sara you are a brave lady. I'm looking over my shoulder hoping no one will catch me reading this and there is no one in the room.

I watched Sue Johansen (Talk Sex) a few times. She never pulled punches. She constantly had to tell callers that penis length is irrevelant because the woman's most sensitive area is around the vagina area and maybe 3 inches inside the vagina. The top portion (toward the uterus) has no nerves. She used the example of not being able to feel a tampon once inserted at the top.

Some of the stuff people asked her about for stimulation was wild.

If a woman does not know her own physical and emotional needs it will be hard for anyone to satisfy her.

@ Shirley - "I just got the impression that I should've been lucky to find a black man at all. Has anyone ever had that experience?"
-----------------
I have seen and have experienced this arrogance many times and choose no logner participate.

EmergingPhoenix said...

Hello!!! Aisha Taylor!!! She's a black comedian married to a white man, and she constantly talks about their relationship in her show. As for Chris Rock, I thought his show was pathetic. And if you caught the Bill Maher show last week AND the Larry King show, you would see that he used the same shtick on all of them. I mean these were supposed to be interviews, and this fool was just reciting his comedy shtick. It was sad. I will say, though, there were quite a few bw in the audience who did not stand for it. They were booing from the moment he started in on that topic. He had to quiet them down.

Lastly, I would like to point out that the comment he made about bw not being good First Ladies, was actually pretty stupid. If you recall, Hilary Clinton, was honored for being the woman force behind (and sometimes not so far behind), the man, the legend. Her whole campaign, was run on the idea that her time in the white house, served as some form of experience. And Jackie O, was not just a pretty face during her time in the White House. So really, that racist comment was null and void before it ever left his lips. I mean really.

EmergingPhoenix said...

oops I meant Aisha Tyler! =)

Aphrodite said...

"I watched Sue Johansen (Talk Sex) a few times. She never pulled punches. She constantly had to tell callers that penis length is irrevelant because the woman's most sensitive area is around the vagina area and maybe 3 inches inside the vagina."


I used to be one of her cult followers when she came out.

At any rate, I kind agree with the three inches theory. I have noticed that most of my internal sensation is in that area. I will say that for me any higher up is painful not (no sensation) and once I feel pain - its pointless to continue.

I have heard some, I think it was a previous poster that mentioned girth. The thing is I have never seen/met/been with a guy who had a lot of girth. I am wondering how that works?


Re: Chris Rock - jerk. I actually thought he was intelligent and insightful.

Mary said...

"So really, that racist comment was null and void before it ever left his lips. I mean really."


if a white person ever hinted that obama wouldn't be a good president cause he's black or that Michelle wouldn't be a good first lady, NAACP and other useless black organizations would be so far up their behinds. but as long as it's one of our "own" black racists that say this, it's perfectly fine. i for one i'm voting for Michelle 2008, not obama. i was a hilary supporter until someone showed me the light that a vote for obama is a vote for michele to be the first lady. yes, this mentality might be "wrong" BUT, i look out for my own first and foremost, meaning black women

focusedpurpose said...

Sara-

aaahhh Dr. Frances Cress Welsing! (sp?:-) very interesting book indeed. there is another good read by M. Scott Peck that i found very interesting as well called the people of the lie. ALL folks that maintain in this day and age that ALL black males possess giant penises and are THE best lovers are in fact...the people of the lie!

it has truly appalled me to no end to see how many black folks (male and female) will continue to spread that non sense. i think they know when they do it that they are lying.

blessings all,
focusedpurpose

CW said...

Mary...your choice is not "wrong"...No one owns you...It's your perrogative...It's also about FREEDOM! : )

lola said...

EmergingPhoenix said : oops I meant Aisha Tyler! =)

She's married to a white man? I just saw her on Youtube with Craig Ferguson, the sista looks HOT! Craig told her she looked SPECTACULAR! I'm glad our fellow QUEEN is happy, you can TELL she is. Thanks for talking about her, didn't know her, love her personality.

nelo said...

I checked Sheryl Underwood's biography on Wikipedia. Why isn't she married yet? If I were a man, I'd married her. She has qualities that lots of men want.

1. She's funny
2. She's freaky
3. She seems honest
4. She's good looking.

I don't get it.

Selena said...

Nelo said:

I checked Sheryl Underwood's biography on Wikipedia. Why isn't she married yet? If I were a man, I'd married her. She has qualities that lots of men want.
___________________________________

Ms Underwood is a Republican "nothing but a bm" woman with an extensive education under her belt. She jokes about wm and wp pretty much in all her routines. I remember watching her on Dr Phil a couple of weeks ago and the subject was about the use of the N-word. One bw stood up and said that she was in an IR marriage and if her husband called her the N-word she wouldn't be offended. Sheryl didn't like the young lady's reponse and jumped all over her. So the wm who was sitting next to Cherl asked her how would she feel if the two of them were together? But before he could finish his question she cut him off and said "First of all, there would never be an us." All the bm on the stage started laughing and clapping and so were a lot of bp in the audience.

Anonymous said...

In the 80's Aisha Tyler was the co-host of a late night show with Rick Dees(he wrote the song Disco Duck). Anyways, she came off as smart, friendly, and attractive. LOL, she had such a great rapport with Rick that I thought they might have been dating and she may have been the first bw co-host of a talk show.

Taylor-Sara said...

Selena. that is very interesting. Sherl is ALONE! Yet, she has not figured out yet bm do not want her-and had enough sense to move on! That's just crazy! Do you see the unspoken conditioning going on in the bc? Why would those people cheer? Because she refused to even give the time of day to a nice wm-but would be foolish enough to hold out for a bm (who was not coming) while her ovaries dry up and turn to dust! I'll bet you money, many of the bm cheering A. would not go out with her if you paid them. (she's too African looking for them) And B. Many of those cheering fools are going home to ww, while cheering her for choosing to be stupid and alone!! Something they would NEVER do!! Ladies, I love sherl, but that's just dumb and crazy! Do what is best for you and your children. Don't ever let public bc opinion influence you to wait on bm. You could easily wait your life away, and have nothing to show for it. BM will almost NEVER find a woman like sherl attractive, and I can almost see her late in life, kicking herself and wondering why she had acted like such a fool....

Shirley said...

I saw Sheryl U. do stand up and she said that she sleeps with white men but that she wants to marry a black man. The audience clapped when she said that.

MercyDays said...

I've finally got an id! yay! (formally commenter "anonymous--mercedes)

I have never been a big fan of Chris Rock, and now because of this recent degradation of black women...I am absolutely NOT a fan at ALL.

If these so-called pro-black comedians, and other major black figures really want to do something worthwhile with themselves...they could at least STOP harassing black women.

But...like it is...if you don't report harassment to the proper authorities, and DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT...it's likely to continue.

Black women need to start BEING LOUD about this evil abuse.

Selena said...

Cosign Sara!

If anyone didn't catch any of her videos about her search for a "good man" [read: brotha] the link is below. I believe there's 8videos:

http://affiliate.kickapps.com/kickapps/service/displayKickPlace.kickAction?u=2002777&as=16936&b

Mary said...

so, i had no idea what this Sheryl lady was or looked like, so i googled her up. i'm about to be very frank. i am pretty dark-skinned myself so i'm obviously not trying to diss her for her color....a majority of black men are stupid with a serious case of colorism - in other words, they don't want someone like her.

even with all the education and positive attitude, being funny and sexy, being generous and kind, being virtuous and womanly, a majority of bm don't want her or find her "good enough" for their tired behinds. most would, at best, sleep with her, mistreat her and worst, act like she's lucky that they even gave her the time of day. this is a good example of self-denial and delusional behavior. i wasn't born here or hang around AA's much but even i know about AA men's tastes (they're pretty open, loud and honest about it). this woman done lost her mind for "saving" herself for a "good" bm to come and rescue her lonely dumb self (i'm usually quick to have pity on people, but it is bw like cheryl that make non-black men think twice about approaching bw) not all of us want to be like you cheryl, being sad and lonely is not cute

Selena said...

ITA with Mary. If you haven't seen her video concerning her "search" at least check out the comments from her bw supporters *smdh*. I believe she posted her quest on Tom Joyner's site too. I can only imagine how many mammified comments are on his site...

Selena said...

I saw Sheryl U. do stand up and she said that she sleeps with white men but that she wants to marry a black man. The audience clapped when she said that.

*blank stare*

Erotica said...

I love this blog. As a white male and in a relationship with a beautiful black ebony woman for 10 years, people now know there is no differences in the sexes.

Phoenix Sun said...

HHey Sara! How are you and all the ladies doing? Wow! I have been away and have missed out on all the excitement! Thank you for bringing up a somewhat taboo subject. It needs to come out to light. Black men are not the best lovers, at least in my experience. Why they won that title without having to earn it always puzzled me. It is the man, not his race, which a woman should look at. My finance has been by far the best lover I have ever had. Hands down. No contest. Poor man-sometimes I won’t let him sleep. LOL! It’s all the other intimate gestures towards each other that also builds a stronger sexual relationship. I love running my hands through his thick, blond hair and he loves exploring my thick, kinky hair with his fingers. He said my texture with all its grooves is wonderful. Our relationship outside the bedroom really sets the stage of how well we will relate when we are intimate.

These silly women like the comedian Sheryl are confused and frustrated. All they do is implode inside winding up miserable. Why would you sleep with white men but then fool yourself into thinking you’re doing this to bide your time until a black man comes along? She’s insane and her logic is twisted. Do not get caught up in the madness My brother sent me some audio on the actor Jamie Foxx’s satellite radio show. Embarrassing and trashy is what his show is. The black women on his show are apart of his radio team. One of them is the beautiful model who is on Deal or No Deal-Claudia Jordan. She and the other sista are just plain silly and ignorant. You would be surprised what came out Claudia’s mouth. She sure puts a fa├žade when she’s on the Deal or No Deal, but then she’s there as nothing more than a pretty face. She and this other black lady, whose name I don’t remember, boldly said they don’t like pink d___. They said it in a juvenile, angry defensive manner, a tone I’m all too familiar with when it comes to black women. They really sounded foolish, uncouth and unladylike. SMH. Just plain ridiculous the things we as black people get caught up on.

Once again I say thank you, Sara, for bringing the truth about this nonsense regarding penis size and genital coloring.

2009 is the year I become a married lady!

Taylor-Sara said...

ahhhhh girl, we are sooooo happy for you!! And so glad to hear you guys are doing so well. I didn't know jaime had a radio show, but I'm not too surprised to learn that it's ignorant and juvenile. As for the girls, hey, that's their stupidity. I learned a long time ago, not to waste too much breath on those who are not 'open' to what you say. So I don't. But I feel very sorry for any bw who's waiting for (a bm only) in this day and age. Because she could be waiting a very long time, no matter how lovely she is.... So glad to hear from you girl, We missed you!

Anonymous said...

In my rather un-PC opinion, Sheryl Underwood is not attractive. She has a huge noggin, an extremely gummy smile, and pretty much looks like a dude in a wig and heavy make-up.

Other than that, it really should go without saying that, if she's sleeping with white men, it's because she's wants to sleep with WM. There are countless black males who will sleep with her. Black penises are a dime a dozen for any woman who desires sex with a black male. So, if all she's looking for is sex, she can sleep with black males and still keep up an exhaustive search for her IBM at the same time.

What Sheryl is really pulling is the s/o/s that some black males like to pull: "I'm just sleeping with white females until I find me a 'good' black woman".

Also, Sheryl's doubtless hedging her bets (and, at the same time, building a comedy routine), by telling folks upfront that she sleeps with white men, rather than have it leak out and embarrass her.


There's no way I'm going to eat something I find totally unpalatable until more appropriate food comes along -- unless I'm desperately hungry.


Bottomline: No matter how she hems and haws, she has sex with white men because they are who she's attracted to sexually.

barbie girl said...

Hi Sarah, and everyone else: I was just wondering if anyone has seen this video on youtube about the difference between a black and white man's penis size. It's really funny and by a bw. Yes i said a black woman is on youtube talking about how there is no difference between a white man and a black mans penis.

anyway this is it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZcmBJ2O_Tk

cool_splash1 said...

and the woman was saying she doesn't date outside her race cause white men don't know how to break up w/out killing you.

Okay now that is some dumb ass shit. What about the black girl that was killed just because she turned him turn? There is a girl in Waco (she goes to my cousins church) who was shot in the face by an ex who was really trying to kill her, but instead ended up shooting her mother and killer her and shooting her in the face. So that is a load of shit.


And seriously love Dr. Phil, but if you are going to get bp to rep. then don't get people who don't know how to handle a forum with intelligent discussion. Paul made us look like fools instead of smart people. And wasn't this the guy that was saying that saying the n-word was no big deal not that long ago?

Anonymous said...

Congratulations, Phoenix-Sun has been busy.

Ann F.

Phoenix Sun said...

Thank you Sara and Ann F. :) I have been very busy. I've come a long way since the summer of 2007. That's when my life changed for the better. We're finally settled from our big move this past summer and quite content.

Anon and others have broken down the hypocrisy of bw like Sheryl. Women who are living with so many contradictions and not being true to themselves is really a life of misery. So many masks sistas are wearing for the BC. I feel so many bury their true desires even when they don't have to. The indoctrination of suppression is so strong, plus as miserable as some sistas are, the misery is predictable and safe.

Selena said...

Hey Barbie,

I guess I will check it out before the poor girl gets harrassed so much she takes it down lol.

Selena said...

@ Cool_Splash1,

OMG you watched it too? Didn't Paul Mooney get punked by the ww woman in the audience? Between him and Sheryl I don't know who looked the bigger fool!

Beautifully.Conjured.Up said...

Wow, tell us how you really feel...lol, seriously though, I concur.

Black men don't all have a big penis, just like all White men don't have a small penis. As a scientist, I know that it's genetic. Just like the body parts of women...it's genetic. If anyone is willing to loose out on love and life due to superficial reasons, then maybe you deserve the life you have. Like they say, you deserve whatever you put up with.

Taylor-Sara said...

Wow BCU, you're a scientist! - you better go girl! I'm really impressed. -That is a great way to put it. And to the many wm who secretly read my blog, and never comment (on here anyway) We'd love to hear your thoughts.....

Anonymous said...

White guy right here. Guess I'll bite and give my views on this. It might be a long read though.

I think the main thing to keep in mind in this whole business is that we white guys just aren't as outspoken or open about what goes on inside of us in the way black men usually are. That includes the things that stir us/move us/drive us. Which is to say, we tend to keep everything from our thoughts to our feelings more to ourselves than they usually do. To the outside world, that will either make us seem men who are stoic/cold/boring/anal, or men who are more composed/in control/masterful, depending entirely on how you'd look at it. While there are always exceptions to every rule, Sara's blog itself is a good example of what I'm getting at with this. When you look to the right of the screen, you can see for yourself that there are plenty of pictures to go around of white men who are very happily involved with black women, yet very few white guys are actually here commenting and taking part in your disucssions.

I saw the movie "Something New" with Sanaa Lathan a while ago and in one scene, she had a conversation with her brother about her needing to be more 'interested', 'open', and her needing to let 'her guard down' every once in a while. Here's the funny thing: as a white guy I can relate very easily. Both white men and black women tend to approach relationships more 'seriously' than our counterparts usually do, and both of us aren't quite as spontaneous about it as our counterparts are either.

I think that's the reason you see more BM and WW couples than the other way around. BM and WW both are more outgoing and flirty than WM and BW are, and they more easily hook up as a result. The flip side of that coin is that most of those relationships aren't very serious or strong, whereas a white man and a black woman couple is likely something more stable, warm and enduring, because the two have been looking for good reasons to be together before actually getting that far. You thus end up with a stronger man/woman bonding and a more fulfilling relationship, but also one that doesn't come about as spontaneously. So I guess the question is: which kind of couple really is making the most out of their one lives? I'd say WM/BW, definitely, because quality will top quantity any day in my book. But, mileage may vary. Just my two cents.

Anonymous said...

"Black men don't all have a big penis, just like all White men don't have a small penis. As a scientist, I know that it's genetic. Just like the body parts of women...it's genetic."
___________________________________

okay beautifully conjured up, I thought their was an actual study done that said that on average, there is some truth to the myth? I distinctly remember a scientist/doctor coming on Oprah to say that. Of course it was tempered with you have bm with small ones and white men with big ones. What is the real truth? Is there scientific data to back this up.

I also have a question upon which I always wondered about, but never had the courage to ask, with so much interracial relationships going on won't the 'myth' of the huge black penis be a thing of the past if indeed penis size is genetic? What I mean to say is that at the high rate that bm run to and mate with nonbw, isn't there a genetic possiblity that the 'mandingo' penis is being watered down and gone after a few generations? What will they have to brag about then?

I have to say speaking as a woman, I never understood the need or popularity of monster penises. Average or a little above is fine. I don't need nor want Kong Dong. Just sounds painful to me.

Phantom Mare said...

White guy anon...

Very well stated especially abut being more serious about relationships. I also see the thought put into a relationship whereas it seems the WW/BM is more superficially stimulated.

QT19 said...

Oh, BTW can someone "define" Large?
7, 8, 9, inches? Just so we will have an idea and everyone will be on the same page.
Speaking earlier about the 10 boyfriends I've been with, only THREE did NOT meet the above range!
I cannot say if wht/asian or other men will meet the above length, since I've not had one, soooo if anyone else wants to chime in about it, please do so.. {oops, that is if it is okay to blog-owner~ lol}
I know that "Some" blk. men are Not good, but "some" {I KNOW} got it going on in the bedroom!

Barbie Girl said...

I guess I will check it out before the poor girl gets harrassed so much she takes it down lol.

she had to disable the comments. She says it's because she cant respond to everyone but I think she might have also been harrassed a little. Any way here's one of the comments I found from a white girl pretty much saying the same thing:
Ha ha I love your laugh. And I understand completely. I am a white girl, I date black men and I swear so many people say white girls date black guys for the size of their penis. But two of the three black guys ive been with were average, and also they were smaller then all three of white boys ive been with, yeah I just put all my business out there so what lol Thank you for clearing this point.

It seems as if white girls are not even falling for that anymore, lol

Anonymous said...

Anonymous said...
I think that's the reason you see more BM and WW couples than the other way around. BM and WW both are more outgoing and flirty than WM and BW are, and they more easily hook up as a result. The flip side of that coin is that most of those relationships aren't very serious or strong, whereas a white man and a black woman couple is likely something more stable, warm and enduring, because the two have been looking for good reasons to be together before actually getting that far. You thus end up with a stronger man/woman bonding and a more fulfilling relationship, but also one that doesn't come about as spontaneously.
___________________________________

I think that's true, however I think it actually has more to do with exactly what we're talking about. Sexual myths! The myth that black men have large penis' and are great lovers (MYTH) and the media touting white female beauty superiority over others (MYTH) make those people want to experiment with eachother more often. And therefore promote frivolous unions. When bw and wm come together it usually has very little to do with ridiculous old wives tales and is made up of something more real and lasting. That is why they appear to be more genuine, legitimate and enduring.

Anonymous said...

http://forums.allsexresources.com/showthread.php?t=198759

sara, you have to do a blog about this topic posted on a predominantly black male messageboard the title is : "Bourgie Black Women - There is no breed more despicable" All they do is complain about how black women no longer "stand behind the black man" First of all why would I stand behind some random man that I don't even know. Secondly, I like to stand beside my partner, not behind.

Selena said...

sara, you have to do a blog about this topic posted on a predominantly black male messageboard the title is : "Bourgie Black Women - There is no breed more despicable" All they do is complain about how black women no longer "stand behind the black man" First of all why would I stand behind some random man that I don't even know. Secondly, I like to stand beside my partner, not behind.

Why? What's the point? How is that propaganda beneficial to bw in interracial relationships?

Since you visit bm message boards why don't you start your own blog regarding this issue. Seems like you have enough material to start with...

JaliliMaster said...

" Anonymous said...
"Sorry, but how does one 'watch' a penis enter her own vagina? Either you must be doing some very streinous yoga, your man positions himself in some very weird way, you use a small hand-held mirror, or your one of those people whose head isn't attached to their neck. Lol!"


What a silly remark."

Anonymous said...
"What a stupid remark, you simply lift your head off the pillow and LOOK!!!"


EXACTLY!


"Are you just trying to start something?"

That's the impression i got."
_______________________________

Seeing as everyone that replied to this has the same writing style, replied in the same way, and all, strangely, use 'anonymous', I will assume that you are all the same person. Infact, I'm sure you are. You made your opinion on my joke of a post clear already, repeating it by pretending to be another poster is completely unneccessary. If the person who wrote the original comment(who I'm sure is the same person typing all these replies) was offended(and I really cannot understand why you'd be), I would have had no problem apologising. But seeing as you felt it was reasonable to throw around words such as 'stupid' and 'silly', then frankly, go stew!

JaliliMaster said...

"vera said...
This is the post I've been waiting for! I wondered when someone would be bold enough to broach it. I should have known it would be you Sara, you are truly fearless! Did y'all hear about the woman on you tube who was bragging about how good her white man was in bed, and was harrassed so bad by bm and mammies she took it down? This is why no one wants to ever touch this subject. BM lose their minds. My brother had the nerve to ask me if my white fiance was 'good' in bed. I dodged the question for months, but he kept asking. I then finally told him he was fantastic, and he lost his mind!! He called me a liar and told all his friends that I was slut and traitor. (keep in mind his girl is white- and she secretly told me he could use some help in bed)lol-it's like he could only tolerate me and brad if he thought he was bad in bed.....
Thanks girl, love your blog"
_________________

Lol, when you said 'Brad' at first, my mind actually went to Brad Pitt, so that was how I was picturing your bloke.

What annoys me most is not when black men get angry about bw in ir relationships. It's the hypocrisy of their anger. It's even worse that your brother, for the fact that his chick is white, still gets angry over you being with a white guy. I think that part of his anger comes from the humiliation of his girlfriend dissing his bedroom skills. To feel good, he needed to know that, atleast, he's better than a white man when it comes to sex. So he wants to convince you that your man is crap in the sack.

JaliliMaster said...

"ava said...
If you are not overweight, you must certainly should be able to see a man's penis enter you."

----------

It was a joke for goodness' sake, jeez. I was just trying to imply that she would have the same view lying down as she would if she was watching someone else. Freaking hell!

And no, I'm not overweight, quite the opposite actually.

Beautifully.Conjured.Up said...

About the research, yes there has been research performed to test this theory, and studies have shown that the myth is false. The methodologies used vary from questionaires, to actual measuring tests. When reading research, it is very imperative to omit the ones who are obviously biased...so in other words, "double-blinded" research is best. In 2001, Dr. Gomez de Diego performed a study about the average erect penis length, and Sneider et al. I would say to look those up for starters.

Anonymous said...

uhhhh.... I believe that I asked SARAH and not SELENA. I think it would be beneficial to black women who still believe in the "nothing but a black man" motto.

Anonymous said...

hey Sara,

love your blog,there is this commercial that you need to watch it is called "Making out is legal" and you can find it on the web. It has a good message and the guy in it is HOT! you definitely need to post it on your blog and spread the word!!

PioneerValleyWoman said...

Phoenix Sun:

I have been very busy. I've come a long way since the summer of 2007. That's when my life changed for the better. We're finally settled from our big move this past summer and quite content.

2009 is the year I become a married lady!


My reply:

Whoo, hoo! Congrats, indeed, a long way, isn't it, from being in NYC and dealing with the DBRbm who wanted to keep you away from the physicist, to being an engaged women who has put them behind her.

So happy for you.

You are living in Canada now?

Sara, thanks too, for this post--the myths need to be shattered.

Selena said...

uhhhh.... I believe that I asked SARAH and not SELENA. I think it would be beneficial to black women who still believe in the "nothing but a black man" motto.

Your point? I have a right to respond to any topic from anyone at my choosing and any time!

If you're trying to "help out", the best way for anyone to benefit is to STAY AWAY from those bw bashing blogs and stop bringing that garbage and attitude to this community. Who gives a rat's a** what bm say over there??

Again, why don't you start your own blog?

Taylor-Sara said...

ok, you guys... Lets just let that go....

ava said...

My brother had the nerve to ask me if my white fiance was 'good' in bed.

Yeah, that is something that they (bm) need to hold onto. They need to feel that they have something over white guys since they (wm)have all of the power. Maybe when Obama becomes president those feelings will go away for some of these negroes and they will let black women with their white men live in peace. I will NEVER understand why a black man with a white woman will actually look over at a black woman with a white man and get angry. I will NEVER get it!

JaliliMaster said...

"Selena said...
sara, you have to do a blog about this topic posted on a predominantly black male messageboard the title is : "Bourgie Black Women - There is no breed more despicable" All they do is complain about how black women no longer "stand behind the black man" First of all why would I stand behind some random man that I don't even know. Secondly, I like to stand beside my partner, not behind.

Why? What's the point? How is that propaganda beneficial to bw in interracial relationships?

Since you visit bm message boards why don't you start your own blog regarding this issue. Seems like you have enough material to start with..."


I agree Selena. I cannot see what there is for Sara to post about concerning such a topic. Frankly, it has nowt to do with the purpose of this blog. There will always be way too many bm that are very willing to insult every type of black woman alive, no point getting worked up over all of them, not worth the bother!

JaliliMaster said...

" ava said...
My brother had the nerve to ask me if my white fiance was 'good' in bed.

Yeah, that is something that they (bm) need to hold onto. They need to feel that they have something over white guys since they (wm)have all of the power. Maybe when Obama becomes president those feelings will go away for some of these negroes and they will let black women with their white men live in peace. I will NEVER understand why a black man with a white woman will actually look over at a black woman with a white man and get angry. I will NEVER get it!"

They do it because they want to boast that they take other mens women, but no one can take 'their' women(even though, in many of these cases, they are not remotely interested in actually dating these women they claim belong to them). Another reason is that bw give them a safety net. So if things don't work out with Becky, Guadalupe or Ming Lee, they believe that they can just 'come back' to bw, with bw having their hands wide open, glad that a 'brotha' would even pay them attention. So when they see bw out and about doing their own thing, they realise that we have woken up!

sky said...

ava said..."I will NEVER understand why a black man with a white woman will actually look over at a black woman with a white man and get angry. I will NEVER get it!"

that's because they're intention with the ww was never right to begin with. it was all about getting a reaction. he probably sees how in love the woman is w/ her wm. i remember a post while back where we talked about our experiences in public where bm/ww do everything in their power to get your reaction. for instance me and my mom were walking out a music store minding our own business. this couple ww/bm were sitting together but he sat further away from her. the moment he saw us he quickly scooted over to her and gave her a kiss on the check. me and my mom were to busy talking for me to see what happened after. mind u he looked like he was pissed off at her in the beginning but suddenly happy w/ her when he saw us. it's all about getting your reaction. don't give it to them. don't even look their way. just keeping going as if they don't exist.

Selena said...

Anonymous (4:48 AM) said...

I think that's the reason you see more BM and WW couples than the other way around. BM and WW both are more outgoing and flirty than WM and BW are, and they more easily hook up as a result. The flip side of that coin is that most of those relationships aren't very serious or strong, whereas a white man and a black woman couple is likely something more stable, warm and enduring, because the two have been looking for good reasons to be together before actually getting that far. You thus end up with a stronger man/woman bonding and a more fulfilling relationship, but also one that doesn't come about as spontaneously.

Thus the unions between a bw/wm are the most threatening of all! Thank you for putting it out there like that. Well said Anon :-)

PioneerValleyWoman said...

An important point to reiterate, there are men who see the question of p*n*s size as pretty juvenile, the kind of thing they left behind in high school, since what matters is what he can do with it when it's engorged.

Remember too, as a few have suggested, that the men who focus on the size are the ones who don't believe they have anything else going for them.

Other men know fully well that to get women they have to have something to show for themselves in their abilities where it counts: to make money, provide for themselves and their dependents, and for the truly ambitious, wield power in the world. Judith Warner spoke of this in her recent New York Times article: Waiting for Schadenfreude.

Take a look at the men we see now who are in Congress and who are wielding serious power, people like Paulson.

Reading about his life, he was born in 1946, so he is 62.

When he was a young man and in his prime, he was already married (as many grown up and stable men tend to do, get married by the age of 30).

He is as of now, married 39 years. He spent his late 20s into his 30s and beyond, working towards getting himself money, power and influence big time, in the White House and then working for Goldman Sachs, where he stayed for over 30 years, working his way up to chairman, until he left with $500 million dollars a few years ago.

Of course, not all men are going to be like this, get this enormous amount of power, but even average men will be out there getting the means to support themselves well and thus attract the kind of woman they want, and p*n*s size is the last thing on their minds.

Phoenix Sun said...

Hey PVW! So good to hear from you!

Thank you for your warm wishes. :) You have a good memory. My physicist and I had to dodge a few bm trolls back in New York City. Here in Ontario it is a totally different ball game. Of course we haven't been here very long, but the social cancer among blacks in the states I haven't felt here. I feel very different, like a load has been taken off my shoulders. I feel like an individual who happens to be a black woman. We live in a beautiful neighborhood where people are respectful. I truly feel free. I want all black women and girls to feel this way. To live this way. I know all too well those predominately black neighborhoods in the US can choke the life out of you spiritually followed by physical death.

I'm still going to reach out to black women. We still need all the support we can get.

Delishmish said...

So I guess the question is: which kind of couple really is making the most out of their one lives? I'd say WM/BW, definitely, because quality will top quantity any day in my book. But, mileage may vary. Just my two cents.

October 3, 2008 4:48 AM

...........

This wm ( I truly hate reducing humans to an acronym...forgive me) commenter had an excellent comment...and I hope everyone reads it (entirely) instead of getting into a protracted discussion of the color of male appendages...or these mythical sizes...

Anyhoo...

Wm and BW started off very poorly in this country..but you know...ALL of those people are now dead..we don't need to hang on to to that sordid history anymore...we honor the ancestors and move on. They want us to be happy...and LOVED.

I really think this guy has made a valid point...our relationships (once set) are MORE SOLID...I have seen it for myself. They tend to be long lived and loving relationships, because more effort and thought has gone onto them.

Something to think about...

but the main point as usual...find a QUALITY man..the best you can find..a loving kind, generous, hardworking provider...who LOVES you and who you love in return.

he is out there!!!

sky said...

i told you ladies wm would come out on youtube. they're getting fed up as well. and this video is perfect for this topic. enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q9iK-mjhPAw

Selena said...

Thanks Sky. I watched his other video too. He's a cutie :-)

Harry Potter said...

Delishmish: "Wm and BW started off very poorly in this country..but you know...ALL of those people are now dead"

Exactly! I think it's so ridiculous that so many people are so quick to pre-judge others because of things that happened long before any of us were born. We should judge others based on how they as individuals act, not by what group they happen to belong to.

Anonymous said...

Many of you all sound like white supremacists with your biased rants against black men. The major cause of this gender war/tension between black men and women simply put is plantation mentality and the clash between this patriarchal establishment and the matriarchal black community. You all sound bitter and damaged! You all know deep down inside that we are all NOT the same! There are many black women that mistreat good black men too, please remember! If you date interracially or however you see fit, please do it with an open mind and NOT as a means to simply bash us!! I'd love to challenge ANY of you to a debate or discussion about this. Enough said. I'm out!

Anonymous said...

@ annon. 9:47 p.m....not every one on this site is bashing bm.

And, no most of us are not saying wm or other race men are saviors.
And, there are a few women who if the man allows it will abuse that particular man. Keep in mind the majority of men or stronger than
most women. Slave mentality? Why do so many middle class/educated or not marry non-bw? Plz, answer that sir.
Many of these women commenters have valid points and you have not said one word explaining why these women are incorrect.

a.f.

Anonymous said...

Just today the bm State Rep. I work with called himself trying to make me the butt(no pun intended) of his joke by saying he would like to see me in a pair of low rider jeans...point is I am not a skinny minny.
We talked about it after work and of course he did not see where he was out of place. I asked him how would you feel if some guy said that to your wife? I asked at least 3 times before he finally said, "I, I wouldn't have a problem with it because I do not see a problem." I told him just like a politican in other words politicans can tell the best lies.
As I told him, "Do you really believe I do not know I need to lose weight. Men that look like you remind me all the time."
Funny, thing is I receive more grief from bm and some bw than I get from other race people. This is the God's honest truth. I used to think that wm would be the biggest group of ppl. who would nick pick because I needed to lose some weight ok alot. See, I can truthful.

a.f.

Anonymous said...

@ a.f. 10/21/08 12:06 a.m...

Maam first of all let me thank you for being the first to comment on what I had to say. I have much more to debate on this issue but don't want to take up too much space in one comment. I'm not saying that what the women commenters statements are incorrect. Neither am I trying to refute them. I am just trying to change the way they approach the dating dilemna. Right now it seems that so much in our society has tragically turned us (black women vs. men) against each other. Instead of perpetually blaming each other and just getting mad all the time (i.e. "he doesn't have his shit together", "she has an attitude") there needs to be more open dialogue on the causal factors behind these issues at hand. There is FAR MORE at work here in terms of this behavior that I will later discuss (i.e. the black family and media and other societal impacts/dynamics). Personally I have had similar negative experiences with women inside of my race (black) and our people in general as you and other bf commentators on these sites have had with us. But have I allowed that to negatively affect my opinion of ALL black women? No. As a result I just try to keep an open mind about who I date regardless of race and not restrict myself to the race nor interracially date JUST to bash black women. In other words, if a woman comes along that I connect with, whether she happens to be black, white or something else I will accept her but NOT write off all black women. I'm just asking that you all take that same approach (i.e. if a good enough brotha comes along then GREAT! But if someone just as good of another race does then so be it). I cannot shake the feeling that many commenters on sites like this one or CW's have been so damaged that they have written us all off and seemingly push interracial dating just for vengeance which in and of itself is just tragic. Your question "Why do so many middle class/educated or not marry non-bw?" is not clear. Did you mean "middle class/educated" black men? If so then the simple answers can be the adoption of Eurocentric perspectives of beauty, the thrill of something different, and the imbibement of Western prejudice manifesting itself as self hatred among other things. I can explain these further but have said enough in this comment already. Thanks again for your comment.

J.A.

JaliliMaster said...

J.A., just piss off. Until you provide proof that you go on all those black/black-male oriented sites and tell your fellow black men all the same nonsense you are typing here, then I doubt anyone here is interested in your point of view. In case you were unaware, this is a site for black women concerning dating non-black men. So please explain to yourself, where exactly you, a bm, comes in!!!

Anonymous said...

Jalilimaster...I just had to laugh.

a.f.

Taylor-Sara said...

jailmaster, thank you girl! And JA, don't come on my site cursing. I beleive I have said that before. and did you not say you were 'out' then why the heck are you still here? As I have told everyone. This site is NOT for everyone, nor was it intended to be. There are blogs all over the internet. I have ABSOLUTELY NO INTENTION of changing my message because some ppl do not like it. They need to leave a find a site to their liking! I really could not care less how you feel about this message. We are only looling for those, who are looking for us. Apparently you don't fit this bill, so why don't stop wasting your time here......

Anonymous said...

I was just pointing out or alluding to the wrongs in our community (i.e. Willie Lynchism, biased media portrayals of bm, single black mothers babying their sons so that they turn out to be nothing while urging their female offspring to be more ambitious, etc.) and helping you all to acknowledge the rift between our genders. Your ranting and hating are not solving the problem. I NEVER discouraged you all from the interracial thing. I just asked that you all keep an open mind about it. What you folks said was hurtful and uncalled for. Taylor-Sara, how did I curse? JaliliMaster, how was what I'm saying nonsense? What's the need for me to provide proof of visiting anywhere? You know what? Why don't you provide me a list of those bm sites you're talking about? I want to see what they have to say too.

Only bigots irrationally cling to their hatred without hope of remorse and that is exactly what you all sounding like. Hell I can't help but wonder whether or not this is a white supremacist site disguised as a black female dating interest site. Before you all go around labeling bm as DBR PLEASE LOOK AT YOURSELVES!! Your responses indicate that YOU ALL are ALSO DBR and think that ONLY some magical WHITE savior will rescue you! If you can't overcome this then NO MAN, regardless of race will EVER be able to seriously love you! Before I leave, here's a question for you all to think about:

Do you think that if those so-called "open-minded" white men that you all are seeking out had to compete with more educated black men (that actually care for you) for mates (i.e. you all), jobs, and higher education, do you HONESTLY think they'd like that? The dating pool has been in their favor for only the past couple of centuries as a legacy of Western colonialism. Here is another tidbit: from day one of this nation's founding, white men (and white people in general) have ALWAYS had the freedom to define themselves and thus seem to have FAR LESS psychological baggage as black folks. Hence bm attraction to wf and the more recent greater bf attraction to wm. Our genders in this society have in essence been turned against each other.

If you all can tell me something that I can greatly learn from or think about then I will leave you alone. Remember, healing only comes from within so please, GET OFF THAT PLANTATION!!!

J.A.

Cinn said...

Talking about ranting! What the hell do you call that bullsh*t? You come on here trying to lecture us like some loser troll and think somebody is listening to your garbage. Sara PLEASE stop letting the trolls speak!! They have nothing relevant to say and are just here trying to start some mess! If she hates this blog so much, why is her stupid ass here? She's some massa kang mammie tryin to save us po deluded souls. Let her go rant elsewhere. Why the hell would you come on a IR blog is IR irritates you? Some of these people need therapy!lol... Sara I don't think anyone wants to hear this fool, so please delete her! I agree with jailmaster... Piss off JA!

Anonymous said...

Hopeless hopeless hopeless. Whatever. Do your thing.

Anonymous said...

BTW. What's a troll?

Taylor-Sara said...

A troll is someone like JA. Someone who hates your blog or message, yet comes back repeatedly to cause chaos, strife, and disruption. Or comes to ofuscate the issues and to divert the point-thereby rendering the original topic a lost cause. She thinks she's smart but I'm simply going to start deleting everything she writes. As I have said earlier, this message will stay on point, and nobody tells Sara what she can and cannot do in her own house. And in case you have not noticed, my dear. This IS my house! So if you are not happy-simply find the door....

CW said...

Points To Ponder:

1.Trolls always want to debate topics on which they have no say...Trolls seek to pry and include themselves in others affairs/discussions telling people what to do and think...They DO NOT respect the word "No" in more ways than one...The evidence is clear, trolls will continuously crash a party which they were not invited in the 1st place...Don't ever expect these contrarians to go on a male and/or racist's blog to implement change...These are cowards, pure and simple...Trolls attack seemingly soft targets (i.e., women and children)...A lack of courage and lack of desire for real discussion renders the trolls impotent for that purpose...DO NOT fall for the "forced teaming":

"We've got to discuss this"

"We need to work together"

WHO is WE?

DO NOT fall for guilt:

"Yall need to enter in IR Dating with ____________ mindset...Think __A__ not __B___...Then you will be free to IR date" (And if you believe this, I've got a nice bridge in an older town named Brooklyn to sell you...Discussing a PRIVATE LIFE DECISION with these factions often leaves one on a merry-go-round)

2.The only ones still on a 'plantation' are those who do not realize that there is a HUGE problem within the 'Black Community Machine' and how it's operated...These parties do not want us to broaden our horizons...Deceivers tell us that outdoors is indoors, and indoors is outdoors to keep us boxed in...It's time for us to stop blaming Willie Lynch and Massa (These are some of the dumb, short-armed replies that come in my inbox as well Sara), and make the changes much needed in 2008...

3.And Sara, keep talking about and exposing the myths...I get excited when the trolls come by...That means we are on the right track!

CW said...

@ALL

BTW...I want you all to take notice of something...As more myths about BW and the old way of thinking are destroyed, trolls will up the price of poker...Observe how the letters/replies are getting longer, seeming to throw 99% of Black history at us?...In rat poison, it's not the 98-99% portion of ingredients that will kill you...Likewise, it's the 1-2 percent that is omitted from their rants which leave BW confused, altered, and on the wrong track...

Anonymous said...

What's that 1-2% you speak of? You all sound like this young lady:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9YjYdur8jE

And about JA. How is anything that he/she said objectionable? JA NEVER discouraged interracial dating for black women. He/she just suggested an openminded approach to it. Openminded as in dating strictly for qualities before race instead of doing so for vengeance and writing off ALL black men for the wrongs of just a few you had. How is this disagreeable?

I hate to say this, but JA raised some valid points. In return, no one has contributed ANYTHING intellectually in their arguments against him/her! Nothing but hatred and bitterness! How is JA a troll? I don't understand. He asked for a list of bm sites to visit and possibly debate but NO ONE even provided that!

Your negative baggage will be what runs ALL the good men away from you REGARDLESS of whether they are black, white, hispanic, asian whatever. Think about it. One more thing, the black community is NOT the same outside of America. Best of luck.

CW said...

Out of the "Bashers Handbook"

"Assume multiple identities to give the appearance of other posters agreeing with you"

Anonymous said...

I couldn't help but put my two cents in. I've read the past few comments and as a black woman I know all too well the problems goin' on. I have dated wm who have treated me just as bad as the brothas. One was an alcoholic and another was a compulsive gambler. Now I date whoever treats me right regardless of their color. In this respect, JA's on point! Peace!

CW said...

anon @ 10/26 1:14

I appreciate that...However, we do not advocate accepting subpar treatment from anyone...The objection comes when folks attempt to come on here and tell us what to believe, what to do, and what order to do it...Seems as if they have their own agenda...Those who don't have an agenda will allow others to have open choice..

Anonymous said...

@ anony. 1:14 p.m...learn to vet your men better.

another mystery person

Anonymous said...

From folks' comments (and particularly JA's), JA seems like a pretty deep brotha. Wish there were more like him but there are not! Alas, I had to cross the color line to expand my options! Over time, I've learned that you can't judge based on race since some wm I've known have been worse than some bm I've known and vice versa. Right now I just wanna find someone who makes me happy regardless of color.

Anonymous said...

@ 2:50 ok and who cares. This site was not meant for you.

f.u.

QT19 said...

WOW! *sad-face* No wonder nobody answered my question. after coming back here and reading the last 10+ comments, I can see why nobody here can hear my cries? :(

{now someone will have to scroll back up to comment # 89 or somewhere in there to find my question/comment}

I'll be back later~

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

To be completely honest I like all kinds of men including white men. But I don't find that they have an interest in black women. I feel like if I wanted to date a white man or get to know one better, I would have to grow my hair out, put in a weave (I weara semi short cut) and lose 60 lbs. But then again, I feel like I need to lose weight for any man. Also, I feel like it would be ridiculous to walk up to one and spark a conversation. I feel like they would look at you like "keep dreaming," and lastly feel like a majority of them have dated white women, why change anything.

Anonymous said...

this is a pretty sweet blog. I googled "wm/bw couples" and most of the pics linked up to this site. Good job on the huge collection of pics! i loved it.. And i'm a 25 yr old black woman, i'm really into white guys. I have been for a lonnng time. but idk if the one i like likes me back :(

Bubbly, yet tearful said...

Hi, I'm a 21 yr old black female and my boyfriend is a 21 yr old white European male. In the past I've only dated black and hispanic guys because those are the only guys I knew. As a result, I never fathomed the idea of being with a white guy. However, now that
I am, I'm happy with him and things are getting serious and I'm finding myself afraid of completely deserting black men. My whole life has been surounded by Black Love, whether in movies, real life, or beautiful Afrian art. I've always dreamed of being with my African king. I think I can learn to pass that up, but I'm scared of society's reaction. My mother was totally against the idea but I think she's learning to adapt -for the sake of peace btw us, but if she could act so hateful, what about others?? and I'm scared of the future our kids would have and knowing where to live as a couple in a place where we'd fit in. I'm afraid... and I find myself crying cause I love him n I don't know what to do.

westindianladee said...

LOL When you said it's a lil pink I was ROFL.

The truth of the matter is that black men do have bigger penises, it's a FACT not a MYTH.

But like you said that should be trivial, if the love/commitment to each other is mutual, what happens in the bedroom will be heavenly and size will not matter.

George said...

I have really enjoyed all of the comments and the photos. It gives me hope and validates the fact that we did the right thing by getting married.

I'm a white guy who married his beautiful black GF after living together for 3 years. We're very much in love and we're very happy together.

For the record, I credit her with making my average sized weapon even larger over the past 4 years. She turns me on so much that it's actually gotten bigger and it's gone from "pink" to throbbing PURPLE, that looks like it's ready to burst! Woo Hoo!

I put a link to this discussion on our new website. We wanted to do something for the interracial community, so we started a free forum/message board for people to discuss issues, post comments, view relevant videos + stories, post a personal ad and have some fun. It's at http://www.mixedcouples.info so please check it out.

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Anonymous said...

*sigh* BW, love who you want but this blog is not about being open minded and finding love..........its all about making BM jealous, just the way you accuse BM who date interracially of doing.......its really interesting.....this blog tells a BW "find a man on your level who you click with" yet when BM said they dated interracially for those same reasons, we were called sellouts........then again I have a feeling that the truely good BM who were responsible, and would have made great fathers and husbands and lovers were overlooked or deliberately pushed aside by most of the readers of this blog.....and for the record:

- theres more BM in college than in jail.....BW just ignore 98% of them

- white men do well in corporate america cuz tehy RUN corporate america and thats b/c this country and most of the world is controlled by white men.....

- even BM who date interracially like BW.....but for there to be a relationship of sorts, the interest has to be mutual.....the BM like the BW but b/c he wasnt a stereotypical derelict, she didnt like him.....he just went where he was liked...

- i really dont care if you all date WM......but this is proof that even when dating interracially, the BW STILL insists on playing politics, just as she did with BM....so much for the "date out of sincerity" myth....

V. Castellano said...

I'm a bw who's married to the most wonder wm in the world. He's kind giving, nurturing, and deep. He's my best friend and I wouldn't trade him for the world. And I cant express how pleased I was to see a page devoted to promoting interracial love with black women since so many of our people ignore the subject entirely.

I cant believe I've sat here for HOURS reading this page but I was fascinated.

I feel that a lot of you guys hit some key points about not just the bms but about the black community as a whole. But i heard very little about the shortcomings of us bw. I mean if we're getting "deep" here and being "real" we need to acknowledge that we can be just as obnoxious about dating as our male counterparts. How many of you have friends that whine about their men not having drive or money or any of the things that she doesn't have herself? The one thing I've learned about success and dating is that you usually look for people on your level. meaning if your a crappy woman a lot of the time you will attract crappy men. Not ALL THE TIME. Sometimes we're just lucky enough to get jerks in our lives. I guess a better example would be, if your a successful black woman would you take an underachieving, lazy or promiscuous man of ANY RACE seriously? A smart woman wouldn't. A smart woman would look for a man on her page. Who wants the same things that she does. The p*n*s thing is very immature in the first place. My husband is a wm so I cant speak about black men from personal experience but I know that my husband goes above and beyond to please me. But I think it has more to do with the fact that he compliments me often, he showers me with affection and treats me as an extension of himself. If you make a woman feel good about herself your shortcomings go unseen. Sometimes we meet bm that dont think about that.

And any of you ladies sitting around waiting for your man to wow you need to step into the twentieth century. I know how to get what I want *yes I'm talking about a climax* from my husband. But I've seen wm who are just as ridiculous about sex and relationships as bm. I don't think its the race of men you guys should be bashing. But the quality of men themselves.

One thing I found hypocritical was the fact that we all welcomed the wm opinion on the subject. But when a bm steps into the scene you guys turned into a bw-militia. I can see if he said something offensive or hurtful but he only said what the others are too afraid to say which is find someone you connect with regardless of color. I'd like to believe that if my husband was the same person only black i would still be with him and still be as happy as i am. But then again i wasnt raised to be racist.

You all have to remember that NEARLY all of us in this room are either married to or have dated wm. And contrary to what you may believe your sons will still be half black. Does that make them as low down or as good for nothing as you all are pitching most black men to be? Of course not because your going to raise them right. Well although the statistics to say otherwise are staggering there ARE good black men out there. Patient attentive kind black men. And if he is snatched up by a ww then more power to them.

Please don't get me wrong. I am unbelievably sick of the things i hear my bw friends say about not being able to date white men for a plethora of reasons.I feel like we as black women definitely need to expand our dating horizons because they're is fun to be had. But I don't believe in making one black man pay for the sins of other black men no more than making a white person pay for what other white people may have done. Promote open-mindedness. No anti-bm propaganda, that takes away from your key points and credibility.

And since I know a lot of you guys are going to be so far gone into your own hatred to admit that some of the comments made here were just plain wrong i wont bother sticking around for the storm to follow. May God send you all happiness in relationships. No matter where you look for it.

Good Night and have a pleasant tomorrow.

XtothaZ said...

What happened to focusing on finding LOVE? Good, old-fashioned LOVE, with a wonderful man! The fact that we have gotten to the point where we feel the need to dissect people based on race shows that hatred is still a problem on both sides. I am a BW who has dated Black men, and non-Black men equally. I date men because they are GOOD QUALITY, and because I like them. Nothing more, nothing less. I have met good and bad guys in every race.

If you find love with a wonderful White man, CONGRATULATIONS! If you find it with a Black man, CONGRATULATIONS! Let's celebrate Love with GOOD men, because if you want my opinion, that's where the shortage really is!

Then again, maybe you don't want my opinion, lol!

Oh, and Black women, LOVE YOURSELVES. Stop settling for less. Don't let any man of ANY race inside your body without making sure he's clean and free of STD's. Wear a condom, and cut him quickly if he shows signs of disrespect. If you are a queen inside and out, you will only be able to attract a KING! Whether that king is Black, White, Latino, Asian, Indian, or Arab!

Anonymous said...

I love this site. It's so positive. Thank you ;-)

Y said...

Hello all.

I stumbled upon this site with a different search. I find some comments are hurtful, others insightful - the subject leaves me generally conflicted.

My personal belief is that what is a turn on, either for any kind of relationship is communication. I am a black man, proud of it, and happily married to my nubian princess for 20 years. We married young, and we're now both educated with advanced degrees and happy children. I feel bad for folks who have been hurt and haven't found the love we have - but please know it has nothing to do with a skin color.

If it weren't for my lovely and talented wife pushing me, and my willingness to listen, would I have ended up a bum with 5 kids by 4 women, not paying child support, not raising his kids? I don't know. I do know that our communication led to our happy life - and I am certain that regardless of ignorant comments of uncultured cretins, relationships what communicate well are the most successful.

BTW, my better half has never complained in the intimacy department because I know what she likes and she knows what I like - we communicate. Size doesn't matter.

See the theme?

Thanks for reading.

Anonymous said...

As an African American female who has mainly dated caucasian males this blog confuses me. I say so because it seems to come from the perspective of bitterness. My dating history has largely been a function of proximity. I simply didn't know any African American males my age who weren't blood relatives. I've never lived in a place, until after age 30, where I could readily meet any. Online dating didn't help much. But when I look at the lives of my father, uncles, cousins & platonic friends et cetera they certainly don't seem to be the kind characterized here. I really haven't known any like that. To be honest I've been curious it has intrigued me to know what it would be like to date someone of my own ethnic group. It had long been my belief they would be nicer to me than the white and Asian men I've dated. Ultimately, it comes down to the character of the man not his color. A man's not being black does not equate to his being nice, loving or responsible.

-- Anonymous in California

christian said...

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christian said...

Hi,

I just wanted to comment on your use of terminology particularly "oriental love.” As I had learnt in university, prior to contrary beliefs of the word “orient” we may have previously learnt in text written by Europeans, the word orient actually derived from negative stereotyping of Asian people by the Europeans. When Marco Polo had discovered Asia he named the rugs “orient.” He also started naming all people of Asian decent “Orientals” because he thought the locals were uncivilized therefore naming them “rug people.” For hundreds of years in history North Americans have been using this word in association to generalizing Asian people. It is exactly the same when the Europeans stared calling Native Aboriginals, or First Nations “Indians”

Anonymous said...

I agree about the myth of all black men being well endowed is a myth. I dated a man who was about 6'2 and the size of a football player with the equipment 3/4 the legnth and width of a Hebrew national hot dog ERRECT!I also dated and was engaged to a BM who was decently equipped but horrible in bed and VERY VERY SELFISH!! I have not dated any white guys (yet) but I am sure some of them are gifted and as some have attested to in these comments, good lovers. It has been unfair on both sides; many black men are judged as being good in bed by default, and WM are judged by many sistas as not being good by default. It depends on the individual. And I agree with the blogger of this site, If the man is not taking care of business out of the bed, her libido will go in the toilet and her desire for him sexually will take a serious nose dive! If he is good to her and takes care of business outside the bedroom, she will not be able to get enough of him in the bedroom, her desire for him will got through the roof!!

Lexis said...

Hello, Black Man here. Alot of good comments here. Let me see if I can contribute. I am NOT shocked to see so many sistahs looking to other races for love and companionship. I must say, as a BM, I am mostly embarrassed by our behavior regarding our relationships with BW. I must admit, I have never dated a WW, and never wish to. I love my sistahs, and melanated women in general, and can't really get with the WW thang. Let me say, I did go to predominately(damn near ALL) white elem-high schools. I was the only BM in my graduating class, and there were only three BW. I've had plenty of chances to get with WW, but due to the scarcity (and sheer sexiness) of sistahs, I never would do it.

I am glad to be black, and any brother I meet with a WW on their arm I, for reason, believe they are kinda weak mentally. To deal with sistahs (the Mother of civilization) you gotta be strong, both in the bed and out.

The embarrassment I feel as a BM (with so many BM disregarding intelligence, power, financial prowess, etc) has led me to a search for answers, and some VERY interesting findings! I have found out that BM have actually fell out of their own sciences. What I mean to say is, pre 1492 or so, it used to be common place to find a BM polymath (Genius), who controlled his own nations, ran his family successfully, and worshiped his BW as the queen Mother she is. I have found overwhelming evidence that the ghetto BM is a relatively recent phenomenon(500 years old or so).

I have also found that BM are actually at their lowest point right now in history, and that a "shift" is occurring where BM are finally taking more responsibility for every aspect of their lives (including financial, political educational, etc). This shift is definitely going to be a SLOW struggle, so I actually applaud BW for moving on to these other races! Maybe this will actually wake us BM up faster!

It is very important to acknowledge that BM have fell into a reduced mentality, and are literally "shells" of our former selves. The BM (really the BW) are father's of all the worlds knowledge and civilization. You wouldn't know it by the way we act, but yeah, the BM (or more accurately, the melanated man) actually taught the European everything they know, from finances and banking, to law and civilization! This is a well kept (Masonic) secret, a secret that is DIRECTLY related to why BM act so ignant(misspelling intended). We don't know of our glorious past!

Yes, there was a time where the WM was the lowly caveman, and the black man ruled the world (see Moors in Europe, see Egypt). This is evidenced by that pyramid on back of the dollar bill. America was a Moorish/African empire, and we taught the WM gov't, banking, agriculture, all that!

So, not to dwell on this glorious past in this particular post, I will lastly say I have dedicated my life to re-introducing the BM (and Black ppl in general) to who we used to be! I show by example. I'm 27 yrs old, Real Estate Broker, RE Investor, successful Entrepreneur, who cherishes his beautiful Melanated sistahs. No I do not have a bunch a kids, and I do not resort to illegal, low IQ, entrepreneurial pursuits. This can be the norm again! But by all means, DON'T HOLD YOUR BREATH, lol.

Don't trip ladies, one day the BM will begin to handle his business again, and Obama is a signal to that effect. But in the meantime, do you!

P.S. Some of you sistahs need to get control of our schools, and get ahold to these brothas minds early. There is no substitute for a good school that values intelligence...trust me, I know first hand. Hotep.