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Sunday, October 5, 2008

Sorry Becky, We don't care- We're too busy loving WM!!!









More and more, Sista's are too content to be angry.....Love is just too sweet to be bitter....

Sista's are REALLY changing! It's so wonderful to see and experience! The following letter illustrates what I am talking about. In the past, when ww have tried valiantly to make bw jealous, all she had to do was simply let it be known that she was dating/marrying/or seeing a bm. That was the past. Things are definitely changing. With more and more bw dating/mating and marrying wm. We finally seem to be coming to the point where we no longer give a damn!! HOORAY!!!

I liken it to if you have a beautiful home and you meet someone bragging about their beautiful home, you will probably be happy for them, but not impressed. If, on the other hand, you live in a shack and someone is bragging about their beautiful home, you may be angry and jealous because it's something you desperately want and feel you have no way to attain it. The same can be said for men. The more you sistas mate and date out with quality, worthwhile men the less impressed, affected or angry you will be about ww with bm. You should in fact (NOT GIVE A DAMN!) at all regardless. But if you have a good man in your life, you will have no trouble projecting this indifferent air.

I have noticed that many ww complain about bw being mean and evil and having attitudes about seeing them with bm. And may I add that 2 of my 3 white Aunts are some of the meanest women you've ever met. Especially Aunt Tina. ( But I love them all dearly) Anyway, like I said many ww complain about bw having attitudes about seeing them with bm, but will do everything but a somersault to get a bw's attention when she is with a bm, and then get agitated if she is ignored! I am convinced many ww like this drama!!! It sounds crazy because they are supposed to be so docile and easygoing, but I think that's just another false myth. Many ww WANT to see bw get riled up and angry about them being with bm. It seems to feed their hungry egos. It's not working too well anymore, because more and more sista's are starting to realize most bm are definitely not worth getting all upset over, and that non-blk mates seem to be making much better husbands/fathers these days anyway. Read the following letter and see if you believe this woman was really asking an innocuous question, or if, (like me) you believe she was just trying to provoke a response from bw in order to feed her overinflated ego.

The most significant part of this post however, is that almost all the bw on the board made it clear they did not care anymore!! Go y'all, in fact some were dating white and made it clear they were perfectly content. This is the power of living your life YOUR way.......Read the following.....

Question- to panel from agitated becky.

Why do black woman hate me becuase I am dating a successful black man.?
When ever my fiancee and I go out to the club the woman hate on me because I'm white and he's a successful black man he's an engineer. Is it just pure and simple jealousy2 weeks ago
It's not just me assuming they hate me they have made comments and given me dirty looks like I have done something wrong and taken another man from them or something. I dearly love this man why can't they just butt out.

Comment 1 (WM)
it really isnt towards you, its towards him. it seems from what i have heard from my black female friends is that when a black man becomes successful, he ignores black women and purposely seeks out white women which tells them that they are not good enough. what they feel the "white man" has done to them (male and female) they are reiterating by dating white. like a trophy. my wife is black and we actually get dirty looks from white people, male and female but not black people. weird. we cannot help who we fall in love with. ignore them. act like they are not even there and enjoy your man.
:
Comment 2 (bw)
most successful black men date and marry black women. only 9% of black men are with white women. it's a small percentage. but. "why do black woman hate me becuase I am dating a "successful" black man?" "he's also very "handsome." - maybe because you WANT black wmen to get riled up...it seems you are looking for some sort of validation. imo your question seems to want controversial answers...you know what im sayin?...edit: handsome? successful? you know what i read your Q again with the additional details and i couldnt help myself. seriously. i find it pathetic. admit it you just want to get black women riled up. YOU KNOW black women are having trouble with successful black men. (not true for all of them but the majority) which is why this Q was asked in the first place. damn you are one nasty as hell cavebitch arent you?

Comment 3 (BW)
Is this a serious question? I'm just gonna assume it is and answer by saying that Black women are often given the shitty end of the stick when it comes to dating. Many of us sistas feel like Black men are all we have left.That said, I could care less who you, or anyone else dates..Because I am a Black woman who chooses NOT to limit herself to Black men=)

Comment 4 (BW)
Im black and a woman, Sorry im I sposed to care about someone i dont know and couldnt give a fig about...Errr guess tht slipped your mind, that many people couldnt give a toss wether u were dating a zebra or a iguana..or a black, pink, purple person....!

Comment 5 (BW)
I'm black and I wouldn't care cuz I don't date black men anyway. too many bad experiences. But it's probably the same reason white women glare, stare, and scoff when they see me with my gorgeous white husband. ;-PYou shouldn't let it bother you.I don't.

Comment 6 (WW)
it probably has nothing to do with blackness, and you are probably just being paranoid, i wouldn't worry

Comment 7 (WW)
I think you think to highly of yourself, dear.

This is such a welcome change from what you normally read. I see more and more sistas waking up and its wonderful. The thing to keep in mind is that many times ww are just trying to get a reaction by doing things like flipping the hair, grabbing his arm, kissing all the sudden etc. It's almost comical to watch. I have no problem with it at all. But what I do have a problem with is when it's in reverse, bw are often harassed, intimidated, and even threatened to keep them from exercising their own options. BM can be with their coveted ww and still try to give the bw 'death glares'. WW can be quite nasty as well, when they want. Apparently it's news to them that wm ARE very much attracted to us! Even as the numbers grow, they will still claim it's just a few BW, and only the sistas who resemble Halle are sought by WM. They could not be more wrong! Self delusion is soooo funny! Bottom line, we have no problem with you dating/mating or marrying Tyrone, Becky. We just hope you can handle us dating/mating /marrying Bob, Billy, Dennis, Trevor etc.....

53 comments:

Pamela said...

At least someone bothered to respond. I rolled my eyes reading this. I have had the exact behavior when I have been seeing with different wm. YAWN. I plan on enjoying my life. Who gets mad has nothing to do with me. The DBRs leave me alone these days. It is a wonderful thing. I consider this gal a serious DBR.

Clarice said...

This barely deserves a response. If you are with someone you care about nothing else but enjoying yourself and the experience with that person being in the moment matters or should. When I am with the one I love I care even less than normal about what people think - because for the most part people do not think and if they do it is only about themselves. Clearly Becky is a narcissistic, insecure person who mistakenly thinks the world revolves around her - she doth protest too much - so there is a clear need for attention on her part. Becky here's a quarter call someone who cares - go have yourself a Dr. Phil moment.

V/r

Clarice

Anonymous said...

When a woman in confident in who she is, she does not care about what others are thinking. When I go out into public environments, I don't preoccupy my time with who is going stare or accost me. I've realized that if I go out looking for certain negative situations or events, you will find them.

Some people just don't understand that everyone has a preference of whom they like and many people just have to deal with that individuals decision and not take it personally.

One thing that I have learned about several BW is that many are being racist and ignorant when they are approached by many men of different nationalities.

It’s a shame that we all share the bond of simple humanity and others are too stupid to even see it.

HBC said...

It is true bw are becoming increasingly indifferent to seeing ww and bm together.

This summer in Bryant Park, as I looking for a place to sit I saw a bm/ww couple whom were seated next to a young bw (around 17 or 18) she was sitting and reading her novel, while the couple was there doing everything they could to get her attention (kissing and hugging, it was all so contrived) but she just kept on reading her novel and paying them no attention. They then saw me coming and saw that I didn't give a damn either. They just looked around and saw that no one cared and they stormed out of the park. I couldn't help but laugh to myself. F**king idiots.

I wonder what these two groups are going to do when absolutely no one cares about them being together.

I am so glad that we bw are getting on with our lives and letting go of the whole "our men" and the "bm only" mindset and realizing that we have options.

Delishmish said...

It’s a shame that we all share the bond of simple humanity and others are too stupid to even see it.
..................

Yes Anon...my thoughts exactly.
We are all human beings FIRST.

Find GOOD love where you can. Many BW have become so skewered that they do not understand "the look of love" when it is being directed towards them. Admirers come in many shapes and sizes and COLORS...why is that so hard to understand? (don't answer..lol)


As to the original issue:

I am so involved in my own life, so why would I care what a stranger does? (I don't) The only ones who can get a reaction out of me are people I actually know and love (or care about!)

A random/ stranger BM hugging up and slobbering over nameless/ unknown to me Becky does not fit into that category of people who can get a "reaction" out of me...

Strike that...I would probably find that behaviour UNpalatble..but only because I think certain activities should be conducted in privacy.

Lexi said...

I also get the vibe that many bm/ww couples want to get some kind of reaction from a black woman. I could care less because I date outside of my race too.

Trust me when I say this: as the umber of bw/wm couples increases, ww will be clamoring to get their men back because they can't stand to not be the center of attention. When their men start to cross over and black women are OPENLY seen to be on the same level as ww in terms of beauty and desirability, they will be very shaken and upset.

Anonymous said...

Hi Sara ,I 've notice that bw are upfront about their feelings and don't beat around the bush ,but ww seem to be more more convert with their feelings and their insults please read this and I know you will pick what conservative commentator Ann Coulter is saying about bw ,coincides with a piont your making


http://townhall.com/columnists/AnnCoulter/2002/03/29/i_like_black_people_too,_julia!?comments=true

bougie

EmergingPhoenix said...

OK, I will have to share my most recent accounts. One involved an Asian girl, who in the middle of lunch turns to me and says, "I am going out with my boyfriend, he's a great salsa dancer". I say, "oh, that's nice are you guys going salsa dancing", and she goes on, " he's black." I give her a blank stare, and say "OK". She is taken aback, and then she blurts out, "He's an engineer", and I then stifle a chuckle. I just stare at her like, where is the point, b/c she had nothing more to say. Absolutely pathetic, plus I couldn't help but feel she's dating a sleazeball, loser (from knowing the salsa scene out here). Engineer does not automatically equal good man.

Second involved a couple (bm/ww), who upon seeing me join the group proceeded to get overly "into each other", and animated, even though they were not really doing much when I spotted the table earlier. Since they seemed so engrossed in one another, I just spoke with everyone else, and had a good time flirting with the men there, who all happened to be white. As they were leaving the ww was obviously agitated, and wouldn't even look at me to say good-bye.

Lastly, I was coming home from travel, and petite me was lugging my very heavy and large suitcase up the stairs of my garden apartment. This bm, who was with a ww, started to laugh at me, AND THEN PROCEEDED to ask me if I needed HELP! I was so relieved and SHOCKED. AND the ww, did NOT give me a nasty glare. Talk about refreshing. I figured I would throw a positive one in for good measure. I know there are SOME bm/ww relationships built on a good foundation, so it is always nice to see a possible one, and not have to deal with open, brazen, and insane attacks.

As for these types of public pleas, comments or sentiments, it is all too common, and sad. I am not really sure why bw fell for this in the first place. I always felt like something was wrong with these ppl. And I have seen them do outrageous things, since I am one to ignore, or simply not get mad, mostly because I was utterly clueless to their intentions, and definitely had no problems with IR. Sometimes I even engaged them, if they seemed interesting for other reasons, which was always met with shock, and hostility (then I got a clue it wasn't harmless OR coincidental). Ignorance is not always necessarily bliss. This is why I know blogs like these are necessary, b/c some of these young black girls ARE innocent and/or meek girls, who seem to get stuck in the ghetto category simply b/c of their skin shade. They need to be aware of THIS type of predator as well. The non-black women who engage in this behavior are obviously starved for attention they THINK they deserve; the men are obviously not quality men to be concerned over. Any man who would be openly hostile and/or attack a woman or child whose is not wielding a weapon or attempting to kill him, is pathetic in my book. Nothing seems to be beyond them, so I think it is imperative for young bw to be aware of them, and know how to handle them.

I am happy to see these types of responses by bw, b/c the angry responses that other bw overwhelmingly gave in the past definitely was not a good look, nor did it send the right msg to the younger generations.

Phantom Mare said...

When dating and with my WM, I could careless about who has a problem. I am so into and enjoying what me and my date are doing or talking about. But evidently, WW WANT people to notice-which says-wrong reason to be with BM. Then BM want to FLAUNT their trophy-again wrong reason to be with WW. I think the question was to inflame BW, but behold the opposite reaction was coming forth. It WILL continue to get better (us not giving a flip about what BM/WW do.)

I say more power to them. At least MY mind is free!!

pikacute said...

I feel sorry for these couples. I would hate to be used like that. I never had a ww/bm couple try to impress me. In my area , interracial couples keep to them self (mostly). They don't try to get attention. Most of the couples here are aw/wm , am/ww, or ww/bm The ww who have bi racial kids don't fluant it either. I have a professor who is in ww/bm relationship. She doesn't brag or tries to get attention. She's just a happy woman who has love and a family :). I think you should not be in a IR if you don't support all type or IR's.

Taylor-Sara said...

That's a really good point Pika.
We def. need to support ALL IR couples. I know that that I would not trade any of my white Aunts for any other women, black or white. I love them all dearly, and I'm just happy they are part of my family....

Delishmish said...

Hey Lexi...

You don't date "outside" your race...unless you are dating someone from Alpha Centurion or Mars..which I suppose is possible!!!!.........

Anyhoo...

Some have tried to spin it so that we constantly divide ourselves, and hence are conquered...but we are all the HUMAN RACE...thus, it is impossible that you are dating "outside" your race if you are dating a man who is not black.

I am glad for whomever mentioned there are some extremely loving BM/WW relationships...too often the focus of detractors here is that we are angry at BM (in my case..wholly indifferent to ANY man I don't know)...lol..we are angry with the DBR quite frankly (now that is an acronym I do in fact like and use.) Moreover, we do not see it as our lot that we are here to "cure" or coddle what ails the DBR.

It is that simple. Let the DBR cure themselves....and that includes anyone foolish enough to get involved with them. Only people with extremely low self esteem would be "pawing" each other in public anyway....or trying to keep bringing up the "race" of the person they are dating....yawn...

cool_splash1 said...

I have a professor who is in ww/bm relationship. She doesn't brag or tries to get attention. She's just a happy woman who has love and a family :). I think you should not be in a IR if you don't support all type or IR's.

___________________________________


That's how one of my supervisors at my old job was. Fine as hell all the girls were looking at this man like he was chocolate cake. Nice guy opened doors treated women with respect. Always joked with us temps and never made us feel like we were lower, because we weren't perms like some of the other perms did. He's married bm/hw. The only reason you know is if you saw the pic of his family or when he talks about his wife at times when she's pissed she goes into a tirade of spanish like you wouldn't believe.lol Other than that he talks about his family and doesn't point out it's ir. They are just his family.

cool_splash1 said...

http://townhall.com/columnists/AnnCoulter/2002/03/29/i_like_black_people_too,_julia!?comments=true

What's funny is with more bw/wm more wm are going to realize what women who do this sort of thing are really doing. Even the ones who aren't in IR are starting to realize. After a while they are going to look pathetic to these wm

starkitty50 said...

I really think that if someone is happy in their own life, they won't care what others think about who they are with. Obviously, they want to make a point of it so they can "Shock" people. IF the relationship is real, it wouldn't matter.I had WW friends in school who dated Black men to irritate their parents and it never lasted long. They would tell me about their relationship problems and I really could have cared less because it was based on something fake anyway. Be with who you want because you want to be with them, period...

Anonymous said...

One of my co-workers came into my office today and told me she dates outside of the box so to speak. She said that her WM friend came upstairs to the nursing station bringing flowers and every WW there asked her where did you get him from rolling their eyes and she told them the same place that you got your husband and walked away. ILMAO

ieishah said...

a few years ago a friend of my parents called my dad, all in tears and offering condolences, 'how are you guys?? is there anything i can do? i heard ieishah got killed . . .' my dad called me immediately, explaining that this woman had seen on the news that a young black woman (who coincidentally had attended my university and used to be a professional dancer, like me) had been strangled by her bm boyfriend. after assuring my parents that i was still alive, apparently (i don't quite remember this) i said something like, 'you two should know better. that couldn't have been me. i don't date bm'.

i didn't remember this at all until my mom recited it to my italian ex a few years ago. recently, a really tall serbian ex-ball player and i were exploring my new hometown of barcelona together and he noticed everyone staring. he's like, 'we're the only couple that doesn't look like one another'. i hadn't noticed at all. i'm always in an IR, it's just a part of who i am, so it never gives me pause, unless the couple--bm/bw or wm/ww or bm/ww or wm/bb or am/wm--whatever--is really good looking. then i stare, but because i'm dirty, and it makes me wonder if they're having good sex. if i'm staring, the couple should take it as a compliment. not assume that because i'm a bw, i'm angry.

Selena said...

...She said that her WM friend came upstairs to the nursing station bringing flowers and every WW there asked her where did you get him from rolling their eyes and she told them the same place that you got your husband and walked away.

PRICELESS!!

Anonymous said...

I think that the Beckys out there are starting to get mad when they see a bw/wm couple. The other day my husband and I went to dinner at a nice restaurant for our 13th wedding anniversary. There was an older white couple next to us and the wife just kept staring at us. I mean she was all up in my face. At first I thought that she must be looking at something behind me b/c she stared so long. But with look on her face and the fact that she looked at us so many times I figured she didn't like what she saw. I was sorry to mess up her nice evening....NOT. We are used to getting stared at, just not necessarily in a negative way I am a very pretty chocolate girl and my husband is 6'2" white guy with dark brown hair and big blue eyes. I guess when we walk in the room together it is very unexpected. Anyway on the way out of the restaurant there was a younger white couple and when the woman say my husband and then looked at me...if looks could kill. She gave me the death stare. I was thinking what does she care, she'd here with her own man. But I do have to say that my husband was cuter than hers and maybe she was a little jealous of that. I have necer had that experience before from a ww. I havwe had black guys pull that on me so I am used to that and am not even bothered any more, but the ww death stare was new to me. I didn't let it bother me, but it was a new experience for me. Maybe it happened before and I just didn't notice it. So I do think that ww and getting upset by this new trend. As far as ww/bm couples I now look at it this way. It's a good thing for me because that's one less bm up in my face. SInce I never wanted to date a bm anyway, the fact that ww are 'taking' them, is only good for those of us that don't want to be bothered.

Anonymous said...

If a white person feels the need to brag to blacks about ANYTHING, then society's indoctrination program that focuses on white superiority has been ineffective in the case of that person.

It flabberghasts me that a ww, after being told over and over that her 'group' is the most beautiful, feminine, desirable, pleasant, the sexiest, etc, would still feel the need to brag to bw that her man is black and successful -or- that she would be so ignorant of society's brainwashing that she would could be AMAZED that the typical Negro male might salivate over her simply because she's white and female.

I'm a light-skinned woman of black/multiracial descent. The fact that many of these black males act like fools and try to get with me JUST because of my complexion, hair & features does NOT flatter me. I despise these men. If I were that type of woman, I could easily use and discard them. But I am a forthright person, and black men simply are not my cup of tea, anyway.

Truly, some of these ww don't want to believe it's mostly their race that's attracting their bm suitors; they'd rather believe it's mostly their personality and individual traits that are drawing in these clowns. Others know that bm like them just because they're white, but their self-esteem is so low they'll take anyone they can get -- and then try to rub the relationship in bw's faces...and they take double pleasure in it if the bm is successful.

Somehow I doubt that they are "proud" enough to do much bragging about their successful BLACK boyfriends to random ww they meet.

Anonymous said...

I think comments like the one made by that ww are what give IRR a bad name. It screams "I am in an IRR for the wrong reasons". I know A LOT of IR couples that are very genuine and loving and just happen to be of different races. But every once in a while you see the phonies.
I'll never forget the time when I met some friends out for a bite at a bar. There were a bunch of us and some I didn't know including a ww/bm couple. They sat across from me at the big table and put on a "show" for me. I couldn't care less so I truly didn't notice at first and when I finally did I thought for sure I was imagining things. Why would they care about my reaction? That is until I was standing at the bar and she ACTUALLY said this to me "I hope my bf and I aren't bothering you" I'm like "Why??" She actually said "because he's black and usually bw are offended when we get really close in public" I'm like WTH. I almost thought she was clueless enough to be sincere except that she was smiling. And then it just seemed rude. I basically said no and walked away and she continued putting on a show, meanwhile watching for my reaction. Cut to my boyfriend showing up and her looking like a fool. He's blond with green eyes. Why the hell would I care about you and your bf? Regardless of colour.
If you're happy... be happy. If you're worried about what others think, then you are diminishing the sincerity of your relationship. And if you think it's funny to try to make bw feel bad about you being with a black man then you're really a sad person.

sky said...

these peps are getting more pathetic. one just happened to me recently. i was taking my suitcases and bags out of my car infront of my dorm when this bm/hw stopped dead infront of my car making out. i just kept unloading my things from the car. once they noticed i couldn't give a rat's ass, they just continued walking down infront of the dorm. once i starting walking toward the door, they put on another show, i just walked past them. i had to head back to my car to gather the rest of my things. looked like no one gave a sh*t and they actually looked quiet bored and just stood there. i laughed to myself saying, it's a pity they don't realize many of us don't give a sh*t, not to mention there's this hot italian american guy in my class that's been flirting w/ me =)

Phantom Mare said...

Anon said...I know A LOT of IR couples that are very genuine and loving and just happen to be of different races. But every once in a while you see the phonies.
________________________

You can tell the difference between the real and the fake IRR.
The real simply don't care what others are thinking and are verymuch into what the activity is. I am into equestria sports and there was a BM/WW coupleI hadbecome friends with some years ago. BOTH parties were cool and as a matter of fact te BM would give me some pointers. They were together because of similar interests AND you could tell that. The fake ones are just that-FAKE- examples are already posted. Their whole vibe is different. When things start looking like some kind of performance or a ballet dance of the BM around the "tutu."----FAKE!!!

Taylor-Sara said...

Oh Anon, you left out the best part! I wanted to know how the ww reacted when your blond green eyed man showed up......I'll bet that was hilarious to watch her reaction!

Anonymous said...

Hahaha!!! Sorry Sara... you can imagine her face. She looked dumbstruck at first (when my bf and I embraced) and then she actually looked visibly embarassed when someone told her who he was. But the funniest thing is that I honestly don't remember her after that point because I barely saw her again. I don't know if that was a coincidence or not...lol, but I can imagine there wasn't much reason for her to be in my face anymore at that point, cause you better believe that I was not interested in her (especially) with my bf around... and by then, she knew exactly why!!

Osk said...

Another great post Sarah.

Reminder: does anyone watch Lincoln Heights? It has a wonderful IR couple named Cassie and Charles. The show comes on at ABC family channel and its great. It's one of the best representation of an IR couple.

tatianna said...

Sara, sometimes it's gets more serious than ww just being annoyed. My husband is a doctor, and we live in a very affluent and exclusive neighborhood. When we traveled back to the hood (where I admit, I'm from) to see my family, the bw were so angry with me when my tall, dark, handsome doctor husband stepped from our benz, you would have thought I called their mother's name! My 3 baby girls, all under the age of 5 were terrified by the anger on their faces! They looked at my husband, our car, our clothes my beautiful babies and glared at me! (It almost felt like how dare you live that good!) Even my family was jealous and mean spirited. They were not happy for me at all. Even when they know they told me first that he would never marry me. Then, (when we announced our engagement) they said it wouldn't last a year. Then they kept calling asking me if he had left me for a ww yet. Then they celebrated when we could not seem to get pregnant. But because we had money we were able to get invitro and I have 3 beautiful, yet very expensive blessings to show for it. They were actually angry that we did not remain childless, and that we stayed together. I kept hoping they would change-but no luck. Anyway when we went to visit the neighbors (mostly bw) were making snide and derogatory remarks toward me, and my family was cosigning and encouraging it. I have not felt that kind of animosity even from jealous ww. It was so frightning that when they started talking (pretending it was a joke) saying that someone should whoop my ass because I thought I was 'all that'
Brian looked into their faces and realized (finally-men are slow) that they were not joking at all. He turned to them and told them that if someone, ANYONE wanted to hurt his wife-they'd better kill him first because there would be no place on this earth for them to hide! They backed off immediately and he told me to get the kids because we were leaving. My family started talking about how I was following my massa!!! Can you beleive they would say something so ignorant? I ignored them and we got our children and got the hell out of there. I knew they were just waiting for an opportune moment to get my husband away so they could jump me! They were so angry and jealous. I'm so sad they acted like that. I don't think ww are our biggest problem at all. Sadly, I think it's still us. I know if Brian had not been around the whole time, they would have beat the hell out of me just for having a good life!!!!
Thanks for your forum Sara, it's so wonderful to have a chance to talk about this.....

Anonymous said...

tatianna, you really tugged my heart strings with your story. I come from a large, 90-95% DBR family, and my God, the stories I could tell! Believe me, I know. My mother and brothers (one of whom is in an IR with a hw, and is colorstruck like you wouldn't believe) especially, have always treated me like they want to kill me for "thinking I am" whoever it is they TELL me that I think I am. And yes, I have been physically attacked by one of my brothers (who is 15 years older than me) when I was a teenager. And my family, including aunts, cousins, and grandma, were all for it.

And as for the original topic, I've only had a special "show" performed in my honor once. I was at the movies, and this ww/bm couple tried their damnest to get my attention. I truly felt harassed. After leaving the movie, I somehow ended up walking beside them for 2-3 blocks worth of pda (I stopped at a random deli, because I was kinda creeped out/worried by all the coincidental twists and turns "our" little walk had taken.) . It was QUITE strange.

Anonymous said...

@Tatianna, after all those years you have been with your husband do you really believe your family would have become physical? Actually, I can see them asking for a loan? However, your husband did the right thing and removed you and the kids from that type of situation. Next, time allow certain family members to visit you. Good Luck.

Dee

TC said...

Tatianna, some people are just plain hateful. You say you're affected more by BW than WW, but do you know why? BECAUSE YOU VISIT!!! My white friends don't visit the scary members of their family, and some of them are a short distance to the trailer park (and I mean this literally). Why visit folks who don't respect you? I stopped visiting my classless relatives. I can count on my hands the number of visits since 2000. There's no point going over there. They're not going to change. We have nothing in common save blood, and though blood is thicker than water, you can remove both from your carpet with the right stain remover. We don't like the same type of music, movies, entertainment, food, churches. We have different philosophies on life, and they want to tear me down because I'm not like them. Well I'm glad, and after the initial breaking in period, I was soooooo relieved we didn't have to deal with their drama. My family had been asked to do everything from buy their food stamps (and not because they needed diapers or soap) to putting one of their elbows back into place because they got in a fight and didn't want the emergency room to ask too many questions, LOL. My advice? Send them e-mails. If they don't have a computer, tell them to go to the library.

Taylor-Sara said...

Tatiana, I'm so sorry hon. But I would def. agree with the reader who told you to stop visiting immediately. That is not a good environment for your children and you have to put them first. It sounds like those women had really terrible lives and were angry that you were able to 'escape'. Enjoy your family and send letters hon. I would NEVER visit these people they are truly damaged, and I think if the neighbors had attacked you, something tells me your 'family' would not have helped you.... steer clear hon, and I'm happy your doctor husband got y'all out of there.....

CW said...

@Tatianna & others

I am so sorry you had to go thru that...It it toughest when that kind of treatment is dished out by 'loved ones'...I had to make the decision last month to love my biological father from AFAR...There used to be delusions that we could finally be close...No dice...Long story short: Stick to Holiday cards, emails, and pictures for your closest members...Do not meet on "their turf" again unless they agree to some type of mediation/counseling...I am sooo glad your husband saw what a damaged situation that was and REMOVED HIS FAMILY from it...And I hope you are both vigilant and continue protecting your children from such (whether or not it's from a stranger)...Please continue blogging with us, sharing the good and the bad...Although I BELIEVE in mostly good for you guys!

Selena said...

Tatianna, some people are just plain hateful. You say you're affected more by BW than WW, but do you know why? BECAUSE YOU VISIT!!!

I know that's right TC! I know they're your family but YOU have your own to consider. What's more important to you? Your immediate family's sanity and safety (to include your own) or appeasing a family that's done nothing more than create havoc and disrespect you?

The only people you owe anything to is children and yourself. Get it together girl and congrats on your beautiful family!!

Selena said...

...and though blood is thicker than water, you can remove both from your carpet with the right stain remover.

TC just let you know, I have officialy hijacked this comment. Too funny :-P

Sara keep doing your thing girl!!

Selena said...

Sorry I meant to say to your children.

ava said...

Ladies,

Not to change the subject but you have to see this DBRBM begging McCain to bring up Rev Wright, Tony Resco and the kitchen sink to bring Obama down. You have just gotta watch this one!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R77IJsNceY4

Anonymous said...

I wanna know did any of you guys post this on Mediatakeout



missgrownazz
@ Lexia, you damn right girl ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! We aint did sh*t to some of these black fools who make it a daily chore to degrade black women. Hell most of us remain loyal to they ungreatful ass, but no fuggin more!I will start teaching all the little black girls in the community starting with my daughter, to think outside of color when choosing a mate cause this [EXPLETIVE] right here is sickening...we have been right there marching with they asses, as soon as someting happens to them, Rodney King,,Michael Jackson,,Mike Vick,,Sean Bell,,Jena 6,,OJ and they wanna try this sh*t?? Eff that! No more!! From now on..let the precious white, asian, and latinas march with they asses next time a white cop sticks a plunger up one of they asses! We dont deserve this bull from them and we need to move on like they keep stressing they are! Alot of black women in my inner circle and around my neighborhood have already sworn off black men. I never felt that way, but now this has got to end somewhere. Black men cant keep sh*tting on black women and we just continue to turn the other cheek. Sistas lets get strong minded!!


This sounds so much like the women in the bw/wm internet circle .What made this woman write this response is that their is a graphic picture of a bw with a vernereal disease [Don't Look at the Picture!!! sickening ] but what you should read are the comments .A young bm set it off by saying this "No longer wants to sleep with black women! Good goin sistas yall lead the nation in stds and hiv/aids! Youre right but youre chances of catching something from an Asian woman is way less likely.
---------------
www.myspace.com/TexasCaliburmusic
above is his myspace page if you wanna leave him a comment,it seems he wants to be an entertainer ,which can't happen now because of these comments, as if he was going to be successful in the first place ,it seems Yung Berg who called bw "dark butts "career is over as well . The other incendiary comments are basically questioning the hygiene of bw and the other one calling them the biggest sluts in the world, their are some verbal bw warriors holding down the fort ,you should check it out but don't look at that picture !! you have to click another page see it ,don't !!

http://www.mediatakeout.com/2008/27251-rotten_cooch_this_has_gots_to_be_the_most_disturbing_pic_that_weve_ever_seen_very_serious_warning_-_extremely_graphic_content.html


At the risk of getting you mad at me again ava ,the bm who told John Mccain to bring up all that stuff is not damage ,he's a republian -family values no abortion gay marriage small goverment take care of your self and don't look to the goverment to do it kinda guy ,wish more bp were like that ....I'm voting Obama ......Bougie

Sandra77 said...

Bougie, how do you conclude that he's not damaged? Just because he's conservative doesn't mean he can't be DBR, just like a democrat or non-voting BM could be DBR. Look at Ward Connerly for goodness sake!

lola (logged off) said...

it seems Yung Berg who called bw "dark butts "career is over as well .

Nelly's career is dead. Yung Berg's career is dead. who's next? Chris Rock needs to feel the pain. We need to continue the movement ladies. Let them SEE we won't take it anymore.


At the risk of getting you mad at me again ava ,the bm who told John Mccain to bring up all that stuff is not damage ,he's a republian -family values no abortion gay marriage small goverment take care of your self and don't look to the goverment to do it kinda guy

You can be all of that and still be damaged. There are "republican BM with family values" who consider BW worthless and secretly enjoy seeing them being abused. Who do you think started this "trophy ww" trend? Many BM once they got rich became republicans (not that there's anything wrong with that) and claimed they "earned the right to date a ww".

Harry Potter said...

"Sorry Becky, We don't care- We're too busy loving WM!!!"

Becky. LOL!! I've only heard this name used for white women in the last year or so, but it's funny. Personally, I would go with Brittney, Amber, or Jenny as those are the 3 names I hear most often.

Anonymous said...

At the risk of getting you mad at me again ava ,the bm who told John Mccain to bring up all that stuff is not damage ,he's a republian -family values no abortion gay marriage small goverment take care of your self and don't look to the goverment to do it kinda guy

...............

Bougie you are TRULY a FOOL...a man like that guy is TOP of the DBR BM food chain..he has the capability of damaging MANY MORE BW than one dbr bm operating in the "hood."

We can't even COUNT or tabulate the damage that DBR bm honcho Ward Connerly has done...LOOK HIM UP!
Republican does not equal good Fool...or the opposite..you take people as individuals.

Why do you come here with your abject and studious ignorance?

WHY??????

Anonymous said...

Wow...I had a bm/ww couple do a "show" for me some time ago and I was both surprised and (since they were undergrads and I was old enough to be their mom though I didn't look it...that's "good black" for you ;) ) amused. I'm surprised to see that this isn't an isolated incident.

Tatianna, my God...it's a shame you have to write off your own family but for the safety of your children, do what you have to do.

The older I get the more I realize how fortunate I was to grow up with the immediate family I have. Yeah, we have our issues too but we support each other regardless. My extended family are by and large good people but the simple fact is that I just don't have a lot in common with them; when I go see them it's like being in another country (the rural South, lol). They don't really comprehend my lifestyle, which includes a lot of things that aren't stereotypically "black." The whole "Oreo" thing is so played-out with me at this point...I'm just living my life my way and I'm sorry if you have a problem with that but it's definitely YOUR problem, not mine. And, um, I really don't CARE who you choose to fuck or who chooses to fuck you. Okay??? lol

Anonymous said...

Bougie you are TRULY a FOOL...a man like that guy is TOP of the DBR BM food chain..he has the capability of damaging MANY MORE BW than one dbr bm operating in the "hood."

We can't even COUNT or tabulate the damage that DBR bm honcho Ward Connerly has done...LOOK HIM UP!
Republican does not equal good Fool...or the opposite..you take people as individuals.

Why do you come here with your abject and studious ignorance?

WHY??????


first of all I think you are truly the fool !!! Just because someone's politics is different from yours doesn't make them dbr ,it means they have a differnt outlook on life !!!! Can you comprehend that ?!!!! A couple of weeks ago Sara and another regular had a tiff over Sarah Palain ,the regular let it be known that she doesn't like Obama and was not going to support him ,this person is not dbr ,she just don't go for his politics .


Why in the hell are you so against Connerly ?!!!First of all Connerly says he's of French and Native American Orgin ,yeah he's one of those who objectify, deny his obvious African Blood, but I will bet anything that he is not against interracial bw relationships ,he wants to move beyond catergorizing people by race, and end affirmative action, something that most WHITE MALES who are the object of desire for many women on these sites and yourself, want. Attacking Ward like your doing and being anon ,you sound like Jesse Jackson Al Sharpton,r u one of them, because they're the types that hate Ward ,please stay on one side of the fence You are jioning the wm is evil sect that want to keep bw in a bad place .Having said that I don't agree fully with Ward's agenda maybe in a ideal non racist world it would be great ,no I don't see the dbr ,he's a family man who raised offspring that give back to America rather than destroy or take from her .

the bm at the John Mccain rally was Uncle Tomming ,that was hostile enviroment for a bp to be, if he said anything remotely nice about Obama the audience would have pounced on him.Mccain Palain rallies are turning into klan rallies,a bm cameraman was attacked at one of these venues.I still don't think that bp are damaged if they are conservative .

Here to encourage, support, promote, bw interracial pursuits ....Bougie

Taylor-Sara said...

hey, you guys this is not the corner bar. Leave off the profanity, and have a little respect!

lola said...

first of all I think you are truly the fool !!! Just because someone's politics is different from yours doesn't make them dbr ,it means they have a differnt outlook on life !!!!

And just because they're "republicans with family values" doesn't mean they're not. You used that argument to say that because he was all of those things (and more) he couldn't be DBR. You may "bet" that he's not against BW in IR but you don't know for sure. I have yet to see a bm/mixed man indifferent to that. At the end of the day BM hate it (to different degrees) because it hurts their male pride, no matter what their politics, race of their women or status are. Those who claim to be "above history" are...until they see a bw/biracial woman with a non-bm.

nina said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Taylor-Sara said...

Sorry, I looked up this guy Ward Connerly (thinking about posting about him) He sounds like another Clarince Thomas to me. All for benifiting from Affirmative action then wanting to close the gate that he used before others can have access to it. I for one am NOT for affirmative action, I know for a fact that the biggest benificiaries of it have been WW, not bp as everyone believes. This is why ww stay quiet about it, While wm sceam and shout. He is a phoney and wants to put in to effect a dismissal of racial classifications so that there will no accountablility where race is concerned. This, while seemingly leading to a color blind society, will actually enable government, police, schools, organizations etc to abuse, ignore, subjugate and ostracize people of color without ramifications or punishment. Or even acknowledgement for that matter since there will be information concerning the victem's race/ethnicity... He also claims to be only one forth black and a mixture of 3-4 other races. If that were so, you would not even be able to see the black- as you most certainly can in his face. I see him as a charlatan, a liar and a self hating uncle tom....

Delishmish said...

Affirmative Action...

Well golly gosh gee darn..I'm not against it..I just think the time for it has probably passed...it does not mean that things are hunky dory though..until there is proper schooling and education for all children..until the day everyone literally has an equal chance... AND then let the chips fall where they may....I mean I am literally horrified at the dumb and dumber mentality I see around all the time. What happened to a thirst for knowledge and learning? It is clearly lacking in a great percentage of the populace...and clearly there were some extremely capable people who save for Affirmative action would not have had ANY chance of getting into certain schools or certain jobs.

Tis a dilemma indeed!!!

sigh..
too much to say really.

As a side note: WP (in general) in this country have had the benefit of Affirmative Action for 400 years......just a thought

JaliliMaster said...

Sara you're right. Ward Connerly is bogus. He is a charlatan. What's funny is that on wikipedia, he is described as an "african-american activist", which he obviously would hate. Proof that this man is a sham:

He opposes anything that would identify anyone based on race, yet he campaigned for the government to include a 'multiracial' category on every form. He has no problem being identified by race, as long as you don't identify him as black!

starkitty50 said...

When I saw the news clip on Ward, I thought that he was a comedian or a plant in the audience from a show. I just can't believe that he actually thinks the way that he does. I'm sure there are others, but I just don't get these people at all. I guess you have to respect their opinions even if you don't understand or agree with them. I just don't know how people like him are supposed to be helping BP.

Anonymous said...

"He also claims to be only one forth black and a mixture of 3-4 other races. If that were so, you would not even be able to see the black- as you most certainly can in his face. I see him as a charlatan, a liar and a self hating uncle tom...."

LOL Thank you Taylor-Sara.

My sentiments exactly.

Anonymous said...

Love the comments, especially Sarah's and JaliliMaster, agree with 110%,just didn't like the dbr label,he seems to be self hating Uncle Tom ....Bougie

lena said...

Don't forget George,Harold and Dylan. Those names sound like hunkalicious names for men. Including Michael and Gabriel.

I agree the white woman who posted her little complaint sounded like a pathetic attention starved creature!