Total Pageviews

Monday, September 14, 2009

The feminization of bm, and how it impacts BW....


























I want you ladies to read the following article by a bm columnist. His POV seems to be more and more popular among many bm today. He seems to feel that it's a woman's place to fight for a man, and to uplift a man, and to protect a man. I find this mode of thinking, not only repulsive, but disheartening. But ask yourself something. If you have to provide, protect, and fight for the man-then what do you need HIM for???........


Written by Darryl James, (Columnist),
I think that it is sad indeed that R Kelly’s case is being compared to the Mike Tyson rape conviction. In that case, I still maintain that Tyson was also a victim, not just the woman who allowed him to perform oral sex on her while menstruating and then emerged from a locked bathroom with a phone to continue engaging with her “attacker.” Muddied and confusing.
Do I think R Kelly is guilty? The answer is: “Does it matter?” I ask if it matters because out of all the positions that people hold, few want to take the position I hold, which is that if Kelly is to be held accountable, then other people, including the women who enabled him must be held accountable as well.
How about Sparkle, the young girl’s aunt, who allegedly served her up in order to get Kelly’s support for her own music career?
How about the girl’s parents who failed miserably as parents and had no idea what a freak their little girl had become? Why was a thirteen-year-old girl alone with a grown man? Why was she having sex like a Porn Star? Is all of that Kelly’s fault?
How about a society that allows and even encourages young girls to dress and act like adult hookers and then flashes righteous indignation when grown men look and interact with those young girls inappropriately?
There are plenty of young girls with super tight clothing pushing and pressing sexual flesh into the public eye and there is no moral outrage over it. In fact, when I wrote about it in this column, some ignorant a**head Feminazis accused me of hating women and being a sexist for my own moral outrage. Go figure.
You see, there are a lot of people who enable the abuse of Black women, including some Black women. It’s counterintuitive and counterproductive to lay the blame squarely at the feet of Black men or to ever claim that Black men fail to protect Black women and yet expect Black men to lead in the protection of anyone, when many members of that group fail to protect themselves.
It’s like Black people supporting the Wayans family, Martin Lawrence, Flavor Flav or many of the Buffoonish Black Coons of Comedy and rap sellouts who make Black people look bad on the world stage and then expecting White people to protect our image.
If you want respect, you must first respect yourself.
And, it’s difficult for Black women to make demands of Black men, when far too many Black women are far too willing to toss Black men under the bus for personal gain or for nothing at all.
This includes the proliferation of the Down Low myth, propagated by Black women more than anyone; the myth of more Black men being in prison than college and the ever-popular claim of Black men’s undying love and lust for White women. All popular myths that fall from the lips of Black women more than any other group of people in this nation.
The ignorant bag of crap JL King has recently released a DVD designed to educate people on how to recognize a Down Low Black man. Instead of challenging this a**hole to do some real research or shut up, many Black women are passing his promotions around as though he is speaking from the Bible.
So, before we get to shaming Black men into standing up for Black women more than Black women are apparently willing to stand up for themselves, we must address the question of why too many Black women fail to stand up for their brothers, sons and husbands.
Really, we must ask ourselves: who’s hating whom?
Do Black women hate Black men?


But, really, let’s go back to the R. Kelly case and examine some of the messages that came from it.
What we heard from many of the Black women who were outraged over Kelly’s acquittal is that Black men fail to protect Black women and girls, particularly from the oversexualization of modern entertainment.
But what we did not hear was that the same oversexualization of modern entertainment adversely affects Black men and boys. It’s as though having young Black boys growing up watching themselves marginalized as hungry sexual animals doesn’t do damage to their psyche or sense of self-worth.
Or it’s as though no one cares, because the focus has been on saving and/or protecting Black girls.
If Black women can challenge Black men to protect Black women and girls, then why is it wrong to challenge Black women to protect Black men and boys?
Why do people want to view the young girl in the R Kelly sex tape who was overly comfortable getting freaky with a grown man as a victim, but not the grown man who is sick enough to be sexually drawn to young girls?
Wasn’t R Kelly once a child? And if he is damaged, wasn’t he damaged as a young Black boy? Even if no one cares about him, what about other Black males like him?
I already know the answer. Damn the male, save the female. Really, we should be concerned about both males and females.
But, sadly, we see far too much focus on the uplift of Black women and girls, as opposed to Black people.
For example, organizations such as Black Girls Rock exist to raise the self-esteem of Black girls, where we used to be concerned about the condition of all Black children. Why wasn’t the organization named Black Children Rock? And why is their propaganda only aimed at getting people to view Black girls in a different light?
Ashley Dunn, a board member of that organization draws a clear line in the sand.
“The type of education Black women and Black men have had about the importance of Black women has been pretty much non-existent, and what they have seen hasn’t been positive,” said Dunn. “With that in mind, why would anyone get upset about a Black girl being abused and urinated on? She was nothing anyway, and that is how both women and men feel in our community.”
Really? Are Black girls being abused and devalued or are Black children—male and female—being abused and devalued?
Where is the education about the importance of Black men? Isn’t much of what we see negative?
In nearly every corner, young Black boys are being devalued. They are told that they are destined to be gang members, drug dealers, prisoners above college students, harbingers of AIDS, lovers of White women and haters of Black women.
And, in efforts to protect Black women and girls, Black men and boys are typically thrown under the bus as the perpetrators of all things bad and absent from all things good in the Black community.
What the hell does that do to the psyche and self-esteem of Black boys? Where is the outrage? Particularly since some of that anti-Black male propaganda comes from Black women? If Black men and boys are doing so horribly in society, why then are there no Herculean efforts to save them? And why are there so many Black women telling us how horrible we are?
We hear far too many stories of single Black mothers telling their Black male children that their destiny is to become the same kind of garbage as their father who abandoned them. Talk to Black men who were educated in public schools and you will hear plentiful stories of how they were devalued by Black female educators.............

He goes on to whine about his own childhood, and how he felt neglected and tossed away by bw educators. But my question is quite simple-really. Do you hear what I hear? This so-called man WHINING like a little girl, while making excuses for the most deplorable behavior a human being can engage in (sexual predatorship of young children) And actually having the temerity to say things like:
" How about the girl’s parents who failed miserably as parents and had no idea what a freak their little girl had become? Why was a thirteen-year-old girl alone with a grown man? Why was she having sex like a Porn Star? Is all of that Kelly’s fault?How about a society that allows and even encourages young girls to dress and act like adult hookers and then flashes righteous indignation when grown men look and interact with those young girls inappropriately? " Unbelievable!! He is actually excusing a child molester because the child was dressed sexy!!! When I think about men like this, I'm sick to my stomach. It does not matter how the child was dressed. It does not matter how much she came on to him in her messed up little state. What matters is that R Kelly is a GROWN MAN!! and HE alone, is responsible for HIS actions!!! I am so tired of ppl making excuses for the most horrific behavior, esp. as it relates to bm. BM are not programmed puppets. (unless they decide to be) Bm are real live thinking human beings with minds of their own. Now if they choose not to use those minds, and play victim all their lives, that is certainly their choice. But it does not negate the fact, that they COULD have used those minds at any given moment. The more ppl make excuses for bm, the worse off they will be. the world already sees them as fools who lack the mental capacity to take responsibility, and yet they insist on putting their heads in the sand, and playing victim. As for the ridiculous question of why don't more bw fight for their husbands, and brothers etc. I have to wonder if this man is on drugs! Why would we as women jump out there and fight for a bunch of grown men who are perfectly capable of fighting for themselves?? It is NOT a woman's job to fight for a man! Ladies if you have been force fed this lie, spit it out right now! A man's job is to fight for himself! The more I hear some of these whining men talk, the more disgusted I feel. They sound just like little girls. "why is no one worried about me? Why is no one fighting for me, why are I being held accountable for something I couldn't even help! She came onto me!" It's really quite disturbing to hear grown men whine like this. And the fact that more and more bm have jumped on the victim bandwagon, only serves to further sully their tarnished image. Even if a man is knocked down, if he has strength left in his body, he gets up and tries to move on.... He does not lay on the ground like a patsy, and cry for WOMEN to come to his aid! Let me tell you something ladies, the more womanish, the man is - the more mannish, he'll want, and need you to be. You see, someone has to be the man and someone has to be the woman ( You'll see this dynamic play out even in gay couples) and if he's acting like the woman, then he'll try to get you to be the man. Even while he's complaining to everyone who'll listen, that you won't let him be the man!! What we are seeing with bm is a slow feminism taking place. Think of men you know who engage in the following behaviors

1. wearing more jewelry than you

2. standing on the corner all day, instead of working

3. trying to get you to buy him a drink-instead of vice-versa

4. letting their wives or live ins work, while they chase tail all day

5. getting their hair done at actual beauty shops, and on a reg. basis.

6. Asking you to buy him things, a man normally buys for himself!

7. Using his woman's car because he does not have one!

8. Living with his woman, because he has no home of his own

9. Still living with his momma, and putting his name on the OJ

10. Whining about having to support HIS OWN children!

11. Asking you why a bill has not been paid!

12. Instead of real dates, he wants you to cook and serve at your house

13. Going shopping on family money instead of paying bills

14 Asking you to keep working when you're 8 months pregnant!!

I used these examples because I actually know women who put up with all the above situations. I even know one adult woman who is 8 months pregnant right now, works 2 jobs, and has to rush home in between jobs to fix a meal for her sorry husband! She has swollen ankles, is in a lot a pain, and cries alot. Yet, she never tells the dead beat where to go. She simply talks about how hard life is for the bm. I guess she forgets that as a bw, her life is not exactly easy either! (SMH) But the point is, the reason so many bm claim to want a strong black woman, is so that they can be the weak black man! Don't be fooled ladies. Men like these, are about as useful to you as a hole in the head. They are a dead end drain. A parasitic organism that is trying to live off your host body. Get out your pocket knife and scrape them off. Then watch as they writhe in agony. You see they need to feed off of you. They have no survival mechanisms in place should you discard them, this is why they will fight tooth and nail to keep you from detaching yourself. But allowing them to continue feeding, is slowly rendering you ill. You must get rid of them! When you hear a man talking like the man above, give him a wide girth. Don't bother arguing as they are incapable of seeing any side but their own. Simply refuse to be involved with such nonsense. Tell him that your number 1 priority is yourself and not the po wittle bm! Watch him fall to the floor in fits of rage and shock. Then quietly step over his still twitching body, and go handle your business......

108 comments:

Anonymous said...

If we're blaming only one party we're going to blam one party for the rest of our existence.

All this brother is saying is not that R Kelly wasn't bad, is that the little girl has to have someone there for her.

If you think empowering black girls only will elevate the situation, you're just going to create BITTER. Why?

Just like your option is to date outside, everyone of these girls options have to be the same.

This is still not the problem. What happens if there's not enough non-black men to date, or if most of them are the same?

Just figure out what will happen if black boys does not empower as well as black girls.

The Writer,The Actress said...

Sad situation indeed. This femininization is something I noticed some time ago. BM growing their hair out and down the back, meanwhile, black women can't figure out HOW to grow their own hair long(and think it won't grow because of texture)? (Huh!?) I used to say---ask a bm!

The increase in jewelry wearing is true, all the bling everywhere.

BW have also become somewhat masculinized, walking around talking loud with deepened "rap" voices(even if a woman's voice is naturally deep such as mine, there should still be a feminine quality to it), shaved heads, manly clothing, lack of feminine ettiquette. Don't know how to wear makeup.
Sometimes her walk is even masculine. (Ladies walk with one foot in front of the other and allow those hips to swang.)


The whining aspect is utterly rediculous, people don't like whining in women- so what is attractive about whining in men?

Taylor-Sara said...

Actually Anon. what this man is attempting to do is to deflect blame off of bm and onto any conventient target that passes the plausibility test. BM are RESPONSIBLE for themselves! Any thinking adult human being KNOWS that he is responsible for hisself, and his actions. R kelly IS BAD! He's a child molestor for crying out loud! Lets call a spade a spade ok, and stop dancing around the truth. As for bm being empowered. I'm all for their empowerment provided it comes at the conclusion of THEIR OWN work, and no one else's. It's not a woman's job to concern herself with a bm's empowerment, nor worry about his troubles with the cops, or if he's eating well, or anything else. It's HIS job as an adult to worrry about, and take car of himself. Therefore, if bm are worried about little bb having what they need (which I don't believe they are worried) They should get involved, and create the needed programs that will uplift these young men. But the greatest service they can do for these young men, is to STOP ABANDONING THEM in the first place!

The Writer,The Actress said...

What happens if there's not enough non-black men to date, or if most of them are the same?
*

There are more non-black men on this world that are interested in bw than there are bm. Not enough?, there more non-black men in this country than bm.


Just figure out what will happen if black boys does not empower as well as black girls.
*

That is already being shown, and we see the results today and they are becoming feminine. But BW can not shown black boys how to be men. MEN have to.
I know how to be a women, so I can influence the girls.

Anonymous said...

@ anon. 4:14 a.m.

Sir you are only concern about bm being empowered and bg are just a little side note. This blog is for bw/bg empowerment. There are bm empowerment blogs you can visit. We have already seen what bm do when they become empowered.

R. Kelly is an evil man hiding behind his music. He enjoys having sex with under age girls. He was married to an under age girl. There is a big difference between a woman and a girl. How would you like it if one of those underage girls were your daughter or niece?


Thank God...there is more than enough non-black men to go around.

a.

bellydancer said...

Khadija had a blog last week on bm who hollar about people not letting them be a man etc... these men are making excuses.
Nobody said black girls were more important then black boys, there are organizations for both why did this guy pick on one organization.
As far as supporting boys efforts there are schools designed for single sex education directed towards black boys because and I quote" girls are too distracting for boys so they should be separated" Please when was the last time a black boy dropped out of school to support a young black girl whose dreams were ended because she was distracted with an unplanned pregnancy.
Too many bm today are on the net, forums and chatrooms talking about how and why bw are not supporting them and why are we hoping that dating white men will change the black community at large even though they left this so called community long ago. Some are actively dating non bw and trying like hell to discourage bw from doing the same.
As far as this guy telling us to protect black girls and boys wtf has he think bw have been doing and it has been to our detriment. These bm feed off the community and give nothing back.
JL kIng has shared his gay experiences and bm are mad at him for exposing them.
The DL is contributing to these high HIV stats that are running rampant in our community.
Stop blaming society for child molesters and grown men who fetish young girls who would do this no matter what they wore.
Yeah and brothers are still mad about Mike Tyson but we know he is not a choir boy and neither are the rest of the DBR crew.

LaShelle said...

That Darryl James has some real issue against black women. I used to read his column over at EUR web and take it from me, you can't argue with dbrbm. This guy spews this black women are evel venom every week. Ignore him.

I live in Atlanta the black radio stations are supporting his concert. Even my teen daughter knows to turn the radio station in disgust.

Celeste said...

Sara,

I'm always lurking but I just had to come out and say I appreciate your blog so much, and to LOL about that dbr's column! It merits no response, it's ridiculous, I mean, can he hear himself, he sounds like a sociopath, and when he says nobody's speaking up for the boys, I mean, isn't he somebody, can't he or some males men create a little boys rock blog, I mean, do black women have to do everything, I know, I'm babbling.
Keep up the good work Sara.

The Writer,The Actress said...

@Bellydancer..JL kIng has shared his gay experiences and bm are mad at him for exposing them.



Me- I just checked his web site it looks informative. I want to eventually get his material and show them to my boys to have them be aware. My oldest son is already wanting to plan for a family and he's 17! He says wants to be able to take care of his family and provide and he is anxious about college.

No, a woman can't teach a boy how to be a man but I know I can tell them from a woman's perspective what we ladies like and don't like and how to handle a lady like a gentlemen. I always have them think about me also. They don't want me mistreated and they keep that in mind.

Steph said...

Hmmm...I find it a little amusing how this guy deflected ALL of the blame from the men...interesting, indeed. I get sick with how much pedophilia is ignored in the BC. I saw in local news last week that one sex offender of children was trying to get a job as a basketball coach in a high school...he was black. The SAME WEEK, another sex offender (who kidnapped and raped a little girl) was hanging around an elementary school with a gun...he was black. That isn't to say that there isn't white pedophiles but in the WC they are dealt with the disdain they deserve, while a 30 year old married man can try to ask my then 14-year-old sister out is just "tryin to holla." It doesn't matter that black girls develop at a fast rate (I had breasts since the 6th grade)...they are still GIRLS.

Also, whenever BM talk about a system that brings them down while it uplifts BW, I can't help but roll my eyes. I have only one word for them: NAACP. That organization will hoot and holler over any injustice done to a BM, but whenever a BW has a problem, they are conveniently silent. I remember a story about a black woman who was hospitalized because a racist white man ran her over with his car as he was shouting "i hate n*****s!" while she was biking down a sidewalk. From the video I saw, the doctor said he doesn't think she'll regain full motor skill and probably have a limp for the rest of her life. Now, if this had been a black man, it would have hit national news and general outrage. But, oh, she's just a BW...she's "strong" enough to deal with that. SMDH.

Taylor-Sara said...

You are soooo right Steph. Think Dumbar village! The poor woman and her son who were raped and victimized for hours while her project neighbors ignored the cries, actually had to watch as the NAACP came out in full force with Rev. hot comb and demanded that the rapists get bail!!! They went out to fight for the attackers and left the victims to fend for themselves!!! I'm too through. I want to tell bw without equivocation,because I'm a person who believes in speaking her mind. Never support those who do not support you! If the NAACP and all those other fake-ass organizations don't give a damn about bw, then don't give a damn about them, and DON'T GIVE THEM MONEY!!!

Zabeth said...

Sigh...Real men don’t concern themselves, or compare themselves to women and girls. WEAK! If he’s so concerned with the devaluation of young BM and boys then why doesn’t he take up the torch to help improve the condition of all black children- as he claims. He won’t because he’s lazy and expects women to do it for him.

On a side note, this down low business is real. I recently finished reading “Hiding In Hip Hop” by Terrance Dean. It left me with the conclusion that the feminization of AA men (as well as the lack of family structure and positive male role models) does have a lot to do with the down low sub-culture in Hip Hop. I know everyone has their own beliefs about homosexuality and my comment maybe perceived as politically incorrect, but read the book and see for yourself.

Taylor-Sara said...

Hi Z. don't worry about polictically incorrect here, simply speak your mind.....

Velvet Queen said...

Sara! This is probably the BEST post so far!!! Well, in my opinion anyways. This knocked the train right of the track! You are absolutely right! I just had to comment!

The problem with many black men IS that they have become FEMINIZED! While women seem to be literally being forced into MASCULINITY! The roles nature meant for males & females to carry out simply cannot be ignored and disregarded as unnecessary for mankind's survival & sanity. Look at what it's doing to the so-called “black community”!

By the way, I've been wondering too how some of these black men can grow their hair so long. Maybe one of these days one of them should write a book or something for other black women. Do something helpful. Actually, I'm serious. LOL!!!!

There already ISN'T enough “good” black men for black women anyways...for women period! So what's the difference? Why is that author whining? Males who have just gotten up there in age...that doesn't make them MEN. Overgrown boys don't have any business teaching boys how to be men. The lessons are screwed. Boys...black boys need to be trained into manhood by REAL MEN. Fathers. Doesn't matter what color that man is as long as he's a MAN. That's something black women need to start realizing. Get your sons around REAL MEN who will teach them honor, respect, and integrity. Then in time...watch all these nasty statistics change.

I'm all for peaceful demonstration but I tell you...when it comes to children...I just feel like ringing pedophiles necks!!!!!!!! Along with their sympathizers!

Since when did it become okay for men too have a “good excuse” for their disgusting actions towards children? Nothing's changed ! IT'S STILL DESPICABLE and needs to be treated as such.

I also agree that black girls have a tendency of starting puberty very early. I started very early myself so I know the emotional pain and confusion that can come along with it. I think that this is a stage where girls really need to have good father figures in their life to help them along this stage...and to protect them.

virgo88 said...

this is off topic, but did you really have to post a picture of lil wayne's horrendous face?

Zabeth said...

"I also agree that black girls have a tendency of starting puberty very early."

Research has shown that girls who grow up in homes where the father is absent or not involved in her life, go through puberty at a much early age.

Again, an intact family is best for children.

Taylor-Sara said...

velvet girl you are so right. And about the hair, you're right also. My cousin owns a beauty shop, and she says the ones who grow thier hair effortlessly are usually the men. Also, I have several men in my family with very long hair probably (7-8). Mine is only about an inch or two past my shoulder, but my little brother stopped cutting his, and grew his down the middle of his back in 2 short years. And my cousin's husband has dreds he can sit on! So I don't know why, but yeah alot of men can really grow their hair without difficulty...

Julia said...

I forgot to include my name it's Julia.

Aphrodite said...

Wow Sara,

Wow. Just wow.

Did I say wow?


At first I laughed. Then I wanted to upchuck. Then I wanted to cry.

At least it is clear what we are dealing with.

I don't even know where to begin or how. This man is sooo sick in the head. I wish that stupidity/evil was a disease that could kill.


This made me laugh out loud: "But, sadly, we see far too much focus on the uplift of Black women and girls, as opposed to Black people."


I mean really? Where? What universe does this man live in?


This fits into what Halima posted about BM seeing BW as rivals.


@Steph
I am cosigning on the "hug a pedo" campaign. This is so evil. This goes beyond gender and has nothing to do with "attraction"[regarding his comments on the way girls look]. So bc it happens to bgs its ok in his book.

I am just too sick behind this man.

People are on some serious ish! Even Jesus snapped on the moneychangers, but peeps wanna hug a pedo, invite a murderer to Thanksgiving dinner... wth??


I think I finally understand the meaning of several "hood ebonic" phrases now. I have heard the words and phrases used many times before, but I never could connect with them. Until now.

D James is a punk for real. A mark, buster, simp... Where is this man's pride??! How a grown rusty man gone sit up and waste hours of his life to produce this garbage loudly declaring his own b_t_ha_z-ness to the world?! How pathetic and triffling is he?


At least he is honest. He basically is living up to the many stereotypes about BM. I mean this is a black dude who has essentially put himself and other BM on blast before WM and all other nonblack men announcing without shame that he is not a man, can't compete, is in a total state of epic fail and has the nerve to demand that BW cater to him bc of his failure.

Ooh um gee, he could have just wrote: "Iz be stoopid, period. And Iz be lazy, period. Oh, and Iz be looking for black wimmins to take care o' me.


This reminds me so much of what Khadija said about BM being conquered.

Velvet Queen said...

@Zabeth: “Research has shown that girls who grow up in homes where the father is absent or not involved in her life, go through puberty at a much early age.

Again, an intact family is best for children”

I co-sign. Although my father is married to my mom and has always been in my life, I know that that is also very true. I may have started puberty very early...but I didn't start acting wwaayyy older than my age. And I think a lot of black girls who fit the description you mentioned tend to be prone to reckless behavior, and poor choices which cause unnecessary mental stress. More than what a child should ever have to go thru. It's heartbreaking.

@Sara: “And my cousin's husband has dreds he can sit on! So I don't know why, but yeah alot of men can really grow their hair without difficulty...”

Now this is EXACTLY what I was thinking of when I was writing. How in the world do they get those long dreads? Maybe black women just go thru way more stress and it slows down hair growth?

Velvet Queen said...

“Ooh um gee, he could have just wrote: "Iz be stoopid, period. And Iz be lazy, period. Oh, and Iz be looking for black wimmins to take care o' me.”

LOL.

Julia said...

Hello,this is my first time here.

First off, can I get something off my chest, blog owner?
I saw the picture of that criterrific excuse of a man before I could read the blog title, and I wrongly deducted that the topic would be the newest addition to hisoffspring list.
Thank you for not giving him and his airhead of a jumpoff any publicity.

I am a black woman though not American, and my time here has taught me tremendously about the dynamics within the AA group.
Not all AA men are worthless,but the ones I have observed are not inclined in the least to honor, defend, and support their own women, they have NO respect for them.
However,they're more than willing to throw them under the bus on cue.
As much as it was documented that Natalee Holloway was drinking it up and whoring it up with total strangers in Aruba, the MSM bent over backwards to imply that she was such an innocent and bright little girl whose path somehow cross that of those local savages.
And with a tv movie, the halo was complete.(No kidding!)
Where was this deference in the case of RKelly's victim?
Didn't she deserve the same treatment those 'other' women do?
Back in february,did the Rn'B princess deserve to hear from a rapper 'Keep your head up' directed not at her, but at her boyfriend/abuser,when she was the one suffering from bruises,cuts and bites??

I was watching a docu on tv the other night about the night life particularly in the south of France.
The head of the Roederer house (Crystal champagne) was interviewed and he reaffirmed what had already been said.
The Hip hop crowd is an impediment to the standards set by the founder of the brand, and they do not want their good name associated with those folks in any way.
And as you all know, JayZ Diddy ...(who by the way never married, because he's never seen as a kid what a stable loving union was like.Same guy who became a mogul albeit growing up poor without a mentor and much less a father)

... and their ilk instantly started a widespread boycott of Crystal.
Such vigorous dedication and organisation for freaking champagne, but not their own community.Especially their women seen as the bottom of the barrel in the eyes of American society who indulges in attacking them with false representations and minimizing their achievments(reality tv etc...)
With all their influence, it would be nice to at least lend their names to causes that touch AA women, because they are after all the backbone of AAs.
And no I'm not talking about SnoopDogg's gesture to extend Girls Gone Wild to AA women, because 'white hoes aren't the only hoes that get wild'... Not that kind of empathy SMH...

When AA women are sperm depository,mother and father in one,provider,counselor,punching ball,in other words door mat of their communities, when do they find time and opportunity to be a woman? Certainly not between 2 evening classes...

That columnist slapped AA females once again he's pretty much saying **** you all, you're the reason for our shortcomings...
So are you going to turn the other cheek,or dust yourselves up, and decide that's it, no more!

Feminization maybe,but not as much as refusing to leave infanthood behind with all the crib, baby, mama talk and attitudes/language and be a man.

Adisa said...

I once dated a feminized man like that a few years ago. I had a wakeup call at the end and realized I was selling myself short and I was doing way too much for this guy, while he brought absolutely nothing to my life.

When i broke things off, he literally grabbed hold to me, broke down and cried a sea of tears in front of me. I know he was hurt, but i sensed something else behind his tears, and now I know what it was.

rainebeaux said...

Yall, I found the essay in its entirety and then the comments. *le sigh in HD*

jeebus be some visine w/extra tabasco...THE STUPID, IT BURNSSSS!

Maaan, I could just break several thousand dollars' worth of electronics right now, I'm so POed...ladies (and the gentlemen with sense who are lurking): as I indicated in the last post, the signs of the ghettocalypse are piling up, and it's BEEN time to leave the technically-nonexistent bc--start packing boxes and packing heat (where legally feasible, of course). GRITS. S€#@. FAN. Nuff said.

Faith at Acts of Faith Blog said...

I couldn't even be bothered to read all of that utter nonsense!! This is why it's just time to leave these man-children and all their neediness and jealousy behind. Let them take that helplessness to non-black women and see how far they get.

rainebeaux said...

Julia: When AA women are sperm depository,mother and father in one,provider,counselor,punching ball,in other words door mat of their communities, when do they find time and opportunity to be a woman? Certainly not between 2 evening classes...

And from what I've heard, some are making these negroes' hair more luxurious than their own! Mr. James and his ilk can miss me by a country mile with this bullstuff! strong black woman, my butt! I ain't fighting/protecting no man! I'm (we're) supposed to put my/our feet up and turn the Calgon on once in a while. Where are the normal gender roles and reciprocity, man?!

Ole regressive, pathologizing jive tofurkeys make me sick! *whew*

Skypurple15 said...

I am so glad this stuff doesn't anger me any more. I feel sorry for the women who eat this up and think everything about relationships is their fault.smh. Since broading my horizons I realize that relationships were so much easier to maintain, even if they didn't last long. They were great experiences.

I can't imagine thinking that the only way a man let alone a bm would ever take any type of interest in me is if I fight for him, is this dude serious? I have my own battles i have to fight now i have to fight mine and his? the last I checked men fight their own battles, men compete against other men, men defend their homes, men protect their communites. These guys really have no idea what it takes to be a man, which is why I have zero interest in allowing those types of men be the head of my future household. Hell to the naw!

so they can continue to sit there and cry, whine, complain about how no alones them to be a man/that no one is fighting for them. I'll gladly date and marry a man who already knows how to be one.

collegeBetty said...

This issue really hits home. I see it in boys at my college, grown men in my family and sometimes even in my own brother. BM are really beginning to think that they "deserve" to be pursued and treated like a woman would a man. They think they are some sort of well hung trophies or prizes that women are lucky to even have contact with even if they have nothing to show for themselves. They ask girls out on "dates" and then say they have no money and ask them to fit the bill. They get their hair braided, dreaded, and permed, wear more cologne than a little bit and are arrogant unless they want sex. And these foolish black girls let them get away with it, sharing their bodies with bums!


Recently some (black) fool on facebook who I have never met before in my life, sent me a message. I sent him one back saying "Do I know you?” His rely is “You don't know me put I saw ur profile pic and thought you looked cute for a black girl so you should hit me up sometime. I be around campus, here is my number.”

I look cute for a black girl????? Excuse me? and from another black male? I'm like 'are you serious?’ And notice how he said ‘I be around campus’, not ‘I attend school’. I do not even entertain that class of individual and neither should any other black woman. Ya dig?

Selena said...

Due to the nature of my job, I'm around U.S. soldiers all day, every day. This is how my day plays out:

When I'm approached by the while soldiers in a flirtatious way 9 times out of 10 they will offer to either carry my bags or some other work related items in the building for me.

They will either offer some sort of manual assistance or pick another soldier of lesser rank to "give me a hand".

The ones that got a little confidence or have dated bw before will stand around and make conversation while I'm working or ask me out for coffee or lunch/dinner.

On the flip side whenever I'm approached by the black male soldiers, they will ALWAYS ask me to take THEM out for lunch/dinner...ALWAYS! There is no asking me If I need help or offering any assistance, its "yo when you gon take me out to lunch or yo can I get your business card?"

Anonymous said...

Today on campus I had spoken with two bw both are 21 years old and they said that they would not limit themselves to just dating bm. Also, they stated that they will be checking out the various bw empowerment blogs. And, they will tell their friends and so on.

Good for them!

a.

Anonymous said...

@Sara: “And my cousin's husband has dreds he can sit on! So I don't know why, but yeah alot of men can really grow their hair without difficulty...”

I always thought those long dreadlocks some black males have were extensions. Are you sure that's their real hair?

Anonymous said...

Unlike most women men do not use harsh chemicals on their hair.
If we stopped using relaxers on our hair our hair would begin to grow.

Halima said...

like i said sara, many of us did not note the gradual movement of black men into the position of 'rivalry.' They have essentially become rivals for rescources with bw. Given that in this country victimhood can easily mean access to handouts, 'slack', government resouces ie victimhood is currency, I am not suprised bm want the coveted prize of 'overall' victim.

Men who cannot produce and cannot stand on their feet have worked out that this is the way to attain resources. They think very fast in these situations, I will give them that!

I am really not suprised that they want a monopoly on victimhood; they want bw to shut up so that all recources can flow through to them.

lawdy lawdy have we been duped about what real men are! it will get worse.

Supposing I wanted to Date a White Guy...?

The Writer,The Actress said...

Now this is EXACTLY what I was thinking of when I was writing. How in the world do they get those long dreads? Maybe black women just go thru way more stress and it slows down hair growth?


@VQ- Yes stress is a big factor as well as the mental belief that bw don't grow hair. The mind is an powerful thing.

The Writer,The Actress said...

Unlike most women men do not use harsh chemicals on their hair.
If we stopped using relaxers on our hair our hair would begin to grow.

This a another key factor. BM don't relax (for the most part) like BW do.



Someone mentioned the man crying after a break up. Oh my goodness! Aren't *we* suppose to do that??

Anonymous said...

And some black men actually wonder why they get no respect.

Lynn said...

Anon said: "Unlike most women men do not use harsh chemicals on their hair. If we stopped using relaxers on our hair our hair would begin to grow."

Exactly! Although I put in a very mild chemical...I only do it twice a year. Because of this mild chemical it's grown (if I straighten my hair it's to the middle of my back). I go to New York to get the process done. It's called a softening treatment and it's for curly haired women. The lady who developed the product is Lebonese...but her products work for ALL TYPES of curly haired women. Check it www.ouidad.com. Doesn't matter what race you are, if you got curly hair that's all you need.

Anyway trust me when I say I do absolutely nothing to my hair, no heat at all and if I do it's for VERY special occasions. I just get up, and give it a rinse in the morning, put some gel and leave in conditioner in it and I'm out...I wear it curly because it complements my face...I don't even get regular trims (which I believe is a myth because I just get it trimmed twice a year and I've been told in the past you need it trimmed every 6 weeks...bogus!)...I just get it trimed when I see my stylist (twice a year!! and last time she didn't even want to give me a trim because I didn't need it)...and it's grown. So if we stop dye-ing our hair, putting heat on it all the time, perming it...it will grow.

See in my opinion, it's all a set up. Another money making scheme to profit off black women. They (whoever THEY are) are making SO MUCH MONEY off us. Think about it...all the products you see for black women, hair gel, grease, perms, hair spray, dye, color...not to mention the wigs and the weaves (they got entire STORES just for black hair care! do they have that for WW, AW, HW? Nope...so why are we give such special treatment?)...if we stop and just don't do anything to our hair...it will grow! I look at these white girls...they don't do nothing to their hair and it's long...I carefully watched them and I figured it out, just don't do nothing to it...it works!

Sorry Sara but I just couldn't not comment on that subject.

bellydancer said...

I agree with Halima about victimhood paying off for bm.
Lately there has been a rash of videos and blogs being done about unfair child support laws. Now if you have kids you have to take care of them if not the city/state does and they have the right to recoup their money by coming after the fathers of these children.
Bm are incensed by this and imagine women are having shopping sprees with the $45 dollars a week they they are sending in for child support, negroes please I spent close to that at lunch today for sushi. Going on and on about how giving child support and welfare to bw is a government plan to disrupt black families and run black men away. BS they already ran away which is why the woman had to depend on these programs in the first place. BM are not receiving this money and it is burning them up that they are being looked at like WTF are you not supporting your children. Some even go as far as saying that marriage programs would make the women do right. BS which one of yo baby mamas are you gonna marry since most of the them have more than 2 or 3. After making the babies then running off now they wanna make us get married to them so the money could be put into their hands. Plus if the woman has more than one father of her kids why should she pick the deadbeat to marry cuz bm want to claim any and every thing they can without working for it or sharing it with bw they think we don't deserve it.

SMH said...

Sara this is the first time I had trouble reading the entire post. That first section of mindless endless whining by that other author was sickening and too trifiling to complete. Women do not fight for men. I may be supportive of my man when he is engaged in a fight - encouraging him and being there for him but only because he is first, foremost and always there for me and supportive of me. Reciprocity. Even reciprocity has it's limits a man's battle is his to fight and his alone. A woman never never fights for a man or does his job. She may be supportive and listen and care to his needs while in battle and encourage him because he is supportive and protective and nurturing to her and provides for her but at all times the battle is his to fight - otherwise get out. DBR folks and their ilk have become the women no woman of quality ever wants or wanted to be - if folks are not through with this foolishness now they never will be - excellent post.

V/r

Clarice

Aphrodite said...

@ Julia that is really saying something. They can organize/mobilize for Cristal, but not the so called bc they claim to love. I guess champagne is more important and they really have their priorities straight.


@ rainebeaux - not the electronics! LOL

Aphrodite said...

Hello Lynn,

I am a longtime Ouidad user and I am sad that they recently reformulated their products.

I get their carve and slice once a year. I tried softening two years ago though and it was a disaster for me. But I love the color and cuts - they are really consistent.

Aphrodite said...

I have thought about this a lot and I really don't know how to handle the "feminine look" part. It is kind of like how shocked I was when I lived in Cali and I came across the whole "metrosexual/hipster" thing [I hated those shoes!]. I mean if a guy wants long hair - that is fine. Or if he wants to wear earrings and get manicures - ok. Highlights- no prob.

I just won't be dating a man like that. I refuse to be with a man who thinks he is prettier than I am of any color bc I know he will be looking for the bigger better deal anyway.

And I refuse to fight for mirror time. I need all available mirrors in my home for me. All the time. Especially the ones in good natural light.


I need a cowboy type not a man who wants to borrow my razor to manscape.


But be that as it may the thing that bothers me a lot is the role switching.

For example:

"2. standing on the corner instead of working

3. trying to get you to buy him a drink-instead of vice-versa

4. letting their wives or live ins work, while they chase tail all day

6. Asking you to buy him things!

7. Using his woman's car because he does not have one!

8. Living with his woman, because he has no home of his own

9. Still living with his momma, and putting his name on the OJ

10. Whining about having to support HIS OWN children!

11. Asking you why a bill has not been paid!

12. Instead of real dates, he wants you to cook and serve at your house

13. Going shopping on family money instead of paying bills

14 Asking you to keep working when you're 8 months pregnant!!"



So I am wondering for BM is all this connected? I mean intellectually I can see how all humans fall along a spectrum of masculine and feminine in appearance and behavior, but is appears that BM have shifted in both in behavior and now some in appearance.

Anonymous said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dx9aex89SuQ

XaiXai said...

As usual Sara you are on point!!

@ Julia
Dead,..... on the floor with critterific. When I revive myself can I borrow that phrase? Unfortunately I know many to which I could apply that term.

First the hair: I am a loctitian, the reasons men have longer thicker hair in general is due to a) testosterone and b) lack of chemical and heat usage and c) them not having to deal with the constant stress of dbrm!!

I'll be honest, I did not read the male portion of this post, I only read your response Sara and the comments. I just didn't feel like filling my mind with his bs.

Now for the issue at hand:
Sara I think you give dbrm too much credit. First I question the usage of the term MAN or MEN when referring to them. This is too kind, they are merely male and thats in the biological sense only. Second, to refer to these black males as feminine is an insult to all that is truly feminine. I agree with the person that referred to them as infants, but then again infants grow into adults so thats inappropriate. I know, I christen them TEAT SUCKERS!! Yes, thats it,
because God knows they don't want to let go. These fools are adult males who confuse all women, but especially black women with their mothers. Our only purpose is to provide nourishment from our bodies to theirs. And we're to do it without hesitation and without any gratitude from the TEAT SUCKER! Think about it, after you nurse a child usually the only gratitude you get is a burp and poop. This is the state of most black males.
I think what is more important is what this behavior has done to black women. Our masculinization! But worse men of other races question our sanity and our ability to honestly see our own value. Remember the hypemaker/mythmaker always knows the truth!! I recently had the opportunity to sit down with a group of international men at a club in Scandinavia. A black male was there acting a fool with a ww as usual. This AA teat sucker rudely approached me while I was happily engaged in conversation with these gentlemen, I politely refused his advances. He insisted and one of the gentlemen seated with me asked him if he was having vision and hearing problems. Teat sucker skulked back to his corner to sulk with his ww. The conversation at the table I was sitting at turned to black males. I was asked jokingly what was the issue with black men. Normally I would avoid answering this question to a wm, but to hell with teat suckers, I answered that what ever his issue was it most assuredly was the fault of either a bw or a wm. They all laughed. One guy said please don't be offended, I would prefer it if black males never came to Europe. The women are welcome but the guys are not, they have no courage and no respect for anyone. A Brit guy chimed in " they may have the biggest d*cks in the room, but they also have balls the size of raisinets & 3 x as shriveled!! I looked at him and smiled and said " a toast to the truth, so eloquently put"!!

What we as a people don't realize is that no one is blind. Every time a teat sucker goes on You Tube or any public forum he labels himself a total fool. It's time for black women to become very vocal about our realization that these males are indeed fools and we don't want them. Sisters be women because a man knows a woman, even on the other side of the planet.

Xai

dd said...

Hi Sarah
First time poster. I love your blog and this post. I notice another feminization of bk men in DC because a lot of them actually get Food Stamps; they are single; meaning no kids to care for, able body, they aren't disable, working aged healthy men and get food stamps WTH!no man worth his salt would take these easy handy-outs unless he had to, ex. old age, disability ect. I shake my head everytime I hear them bragging. They even qualify for the max of $200, when you are single without kids that's the max. They sell them outside of stores for cash. they don't even have to re-apply all the time like I hear women complaining they have to do by going down to the offices and showing proof of job searches just to keep their benefits for their kids. but the men aren't required to do this.*SMH* apparently the ex-cons "automatically" get them when they are released from prison and they get free healthcare. go figure!

dd said...

I would also like to add that I stop visiting my regular beauty salon because now there are more men than women. I miss the day when there was a clear line between men and women. Now women go to barber shops and men go to beauty salons. And I see a lot of men getting mani/pedi. I hate that these men have barged their way into my girlie space ugh!! Last Valentines Day walking down the street I saw a teenage boy curse out his girlfriend asking " where my ballons and candy" while pushing on her... seriously!! so she bought this fool a ballon and a flower-teddy bear-candy combo from the stand. and he tied the ballon around his wrist like a 5yr. old. and I also notice she didn't have anything from him NOTHING!! I just thought WOW who are their parents; her mom never taught her how to be a lady and his dad never show him how to be a man. Total role reversal. Thanks for letting me share! sorry if it's too long...

Taylor-Sara said...

No, dd, it absolutely was not too long. We talk as long as we want here, and get it off our chests. All I can say about the girl and boy is wow! What in the world was she thinking? This type of behavior will continue until bw finally say enough is enough, and throw these fools to the wind. The same way I see alot of ww act with wm (like spoiled, and ungrateful brats) is the same way many bm act. But at least the ww are WOMEN! This behavior is bad on women but downright disgusting on a man....

Alta said...

This man is disgusting. I am not surprised he had daddy problems when he was younger. He sure as hell reads like it. So instead of being one of those MEN who grew up in a bad situation and vows never to be like that or perpetuate it, he's determined to continue it and worse, he wants to be coddled and taken care and fought for.

How can he stand around MEN with that mindset?

E. N. said...

The conversation at the table I was sitting at turned to black males. I was asked jokingly what was the issue with black men. Normally I would avoid answering this question to a wm, but to hell with teat suckers, I answered that what ever his issue was it most assuredly was the fault of either a bw or a wm. They all laughed. One guy said please don't be offended, I would prefer it if black males never came to Europe. The women are welcome but the guys are not, they have no courage and no respect for anyone. A Brit guy chimed in " they may have the biggest d*cks in the room, but they also have balls the size of raisinets & 3 x as shriveled!! I looked at him and smiled and said " a toast to the truth, so eloquently put"!!

What we as a people don't realize is that no one is blind. Every time a teat sucker goes on You Tube or any public forum he labels himself a total fool. It's time for black women to become very vocal about our realization that these males are indeed fools and we don't want them. Sisters be women because a man knows a woman, even on the other side of the planet.


My first instinct when I read this was to drop my jaw, and then out came the laughter. All I can say is, damn! There's nothing like a dose of the TRUTH in the morning. And you're right, Xai, apparently the writing is on the wall all around the world for bm. I almost feel sorry for them.

Almost. :-P


E.N.
Sticks and Stones - An Emotional Abuse Survivor's Blog
http://theemancipatedsurvivor.blogspot.com

Zindzi (aka Black Girl Pain) said...

Sara, I don't think its the "feminization" of BM...I think its the infantization of BM. Everyone expects adult women to be fully responsible for their actions and endure the consequences for bad decisions. What we've done to BM is take them to the level of CHILDREN. We've basically said they're unable to make decisions for themselves. The things in your list that you named that were effiminate really don't bother me. I've seen BM get their hair done at the same salons as women (true, they were wearing locs) and wear lots of jewelry (not that blinged out mess; mostly Afrocentric jewelry) and I have no problem with that. But the things you named that denote a lack of maturity (living with your mother past adolesence, spending money on material things, complaining about your responsibilities, being lazy) are what I find disturbing. (I had to laugh about the one about cooking for you at home instead of taking you out. My mom had to put me up on that when I was dating this guy. She was like, "what the hell kinda man is that?!?) Black men are treated like children before the age of accountability, not like women.

Either way, its disgusting. As for the article you showed us...ugh. DOUBLE UGH. I was just having a convo on FB about R&B singers and someone mentioned that a song by a guy named Trey Songz called "Ihop" was written by Kelly. I said, "of course...a lot of underaged girls hang out there." He's a predator, plain and simple. To blame a child instead of the adult in the situation is BEYOND reprehensible. Made me wanna vomit. And ALL we do is talk about the war against Black boys!! Half of Black America RAN down to Jena to help some idiots that HAD committed a crime (their punishment was unfair, but it wasn't like they were innocent). If we spent HALF the time on Black girls that we spend on Black boys...wow.

Anonymous said...

A man beat an Army reservist in front of a Morrow Cracker Barrel, yelling racial slurs at her as he kicked her in the head, Morrow police said. The assault happened in front of the woman’s 7-year old daughter, who stood there, crying, witnesses told police.

Enlarge photo Morrow Police Morrow police arrested Troy Dale West of Poulan after reviewing a video surveillance tape and talking to customers. He was charged with battery, disorderly conduct and cruelty to children.


Morrow police arrested Troy Dale West of Poulan after reviewing a video surveillance tape and talking to customers. He was charged with battery, disorderly conduct and cruelty to children.

The woman and her daughter were leaving the South Lake Plaza Drive restaurant last Wednesday about 7:30 p.m. as West was heading inside, Capt. James Callaway of the Morrow Police Department said.

The restaurant doorway nearly struck the woman’s daughter, prompting her to tell West, “Sir, you almost hit my daughter with the door, could you please be careful,” Callaway said.

West responded, telling the woman that she needed to watch her daughter and then began yelling racial slurs at her and kicking and punching her in the head, Callaway said.

Witnesses told police the woman kept telling West that she was an Army officer.

“She kept saying, 'Sir, I’m a United States soldier, don’t do this,’ ” Callaway said.

Police interviewed customers and other witnesses and arrested West at the restaurant, Callaway said.

He was charged with cruelty to children, a felony, because he beat the woman in front of her daughter, Callaway said.

“I was in the ambulance with her daughter, and she was extremely upset, crying and asking why he would do this to her mom,” Callaway said.

Police have turned the case over to the FBI’s Civil Rights Division, saying it may be a violation of the Federal Hate Crime Law, Callaway said.

“We are not making the decision that it’s a hate crime, we’re referring it and letting them make a decision on it,” Callaway said.

Officials at the Cracker Barrel in Morrow as well as its corporate offices in Lebanon, Tenn., referred all calls to the police and the FBI.

Calls to the FBI, which also has the video surveillance tape, were not immediately returned.

"We're glad that the Cracker Barrel called the authorities," company spokeswoman Julie Davis said.

West of Poulan was arrested after police reviewed a video surveillance tape and talked to customers.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Aphrodite said...

@ dd

Lawd naw! Say it ain't so?! Food stamps? Oh wow!

Aphrodite said...

Ok now see I am mad at S.Penn! LOL I had no idea he was liking the coco. I always have had this intense attraction to the Leo male species. Why don't I live in LA??

Anonymous said...

anonymous @ 2:32 pm gave a incorrect link.

Anonymous said...

@ anon. 1:59 so I suppose now a bw will get the usually suspects out to protest because criminal is a wm? Is that part of your point.

Yes, give his butt as many years as possible.

Women should gage all men- even strangers. Sometimes it is best to simply walk away.

A.

I Want A Jon Hamm said...

"I recently had the opportunity to sit down with a group of international men at a club in Scandinavia. A black male was there acting a fool with a ww as usual. This AA teat sucker rudely approached me while I was happily engaged in conversation with these gentlemen, I politely refused his advances. He insisted and one of the gentlemen seated with me asked him if he was having vision and hearing problems. Teat sucker skulked back to his corner to sulk with his ww. The conversation at the table I was sitting at turned to black males. I was asked jokingly what was the issue with black men. Normally I would avoid answering this question to a wm, but to hell with teat suckers, I answered that what ever his issue was it most assuredly was the fault of either a bw or a wm. They all laughed. One guy said please don't be offended, I would prefer it if black males never came to Europe. The women are welcome but the guys are not, they have no courage and no respect for anyone. A Brit guy chimed in " they may have the biggest d*cks in the room, but they also have balls the size of raisinets & 3 x as shriveled!! I looked at him and smiled and said " a toast to the truth, so eloquently put"!!"

L-M-A-O!! ZOMG!

This is possibly one of the best personal experience story written on this blog. Like E.N stated- I feel almost sorry for them-- almost.

dd said...

@ Sarah- Thanks! I totally agree it's not a gook look on a man.

@ Aphrodite yes girl Food Stamps!!!a few of my uncles get them. And they will subsidze an apartment for them. And pay your eletric, gas if you get a cut off notice.
I have sooo many dbrbm stories living here in DC it's a cesspool for dbrbm. If they are ex-con, child support dodging, lazy, uneducation criminals or criminals in training, who want to be "kept" by either the government or a woman DC is the place for them. Since we also have a "hug-a-thug" ways of dealing with criminals. You would think that if they wanted to 'hand' these fools something it would be a JOB. Instead of handing out benefits like candy at halloween. Jobs would be more beneficial to the city and their communites, and families. Instead the gov't treat these so-called men like a mistress or a side woman who doesn't have to do anything but look pretty and be nice and they will take care of them indefinitely. DC government is a master at feminizing blk men and they all too gladly sign up to be treated this way. Although I hope that more of them don't move here. It's the only place that I know of where women live in shelters WITH there baby-daddies for long periods of time like 5 yrs. or more. There are more men hanging out in front of shelters than woman and kids. With their long hair in braids or dreads with the ends "dip" with blond or red color and curled the way women wear their dreads. They aren't men I don't quite know what to called them maybe someone on here have a name for their kind. LOL. *SMH*

Taylor-Sara said...

Anon. 1:59
I'm trying to figure out what that story (sad as it was) has to do with this post? It's terrible what happened to that poor woman, but have we ever denied that ALL men must be vetted, and that there are damaged ppl in every group? I don't think we have, so I'm interested in why you felt the need to take us totally off topic hmmmmm... makes me wonder...

sky said...

That trip to Scandanavia, I mean wow!!! Everyone can see the foolishness of bm, I mean look @ Kanye, good lord! If that ain't a self-centered mess I don't know what is.

Selena said...

Trifling young bm receiving Food Stamps in Detroit is not unusual either. They also play crazy in NC to get an SSI check.

I'm talking about bm in their early to mid-twenties.

Aphrodite said...

Ok I am trippin.

I though men couldn't get public assistance. Wow.

bellydancer said...

Sara, Anon is just trying to find fault with bw/wm dating by posting an article which showed an act of violence towards a bw.
That woman was not dating the man so he is not making a point like he thought. It was random violence directed by a punk coward towards a woman who was with her child. Most acts of violence perpetuated on bw are usually done by bm.
Bm like anon are on chatrooms and blogs all day talking against bw/wm pairings usually by quoting stories like this or bringing up slavery. There is blood in the water and the sharks are circling, these dbr men know this which is why they are trying their hardest to stop the inevitable.

Taylor-Sara said...

Oh girl, I know that was what he was doing. I'm peeved at myself for not catching it before it posted. I love to deny them their chance to scare, and intimidate bw. But I was busy with the baby and it slipped through.. Funny, how they never send me info on all the horrendous violence that bm commit against bw. And we all know this goes on all the time. Funny they should 'just happen' to post this story on THIS blog...

lisablisa said...

Now it all makes sense to me! I was incensed a few years ago when on a Northwest Airlines flight I noticed the bm flight attendant was sporting braids. I remember feeling really disgusted by his appearance but I couldn’t really pinpoint why that was other than I didn’t think it looked very professional and I thought how I hoped to never see a bm pilot sporting braids. After reading this article I think what was really bothering me about the situation was the “feminization” of this man. I’ve gotten used to seeing males wearing braids but seeing men with “styled” hair in professional settings is something that will always find distasteful and unprofessional.

bellydancer said...

lisablisa some men are already blaming us for the feminization of bm by saying that we are too aggressive, don't have a man in the home, have too much education, not being feminine, not smiling, making more money, not kissing bm's asses enough etc.... anything other than them doing what they are supposed to do.

lisablisa said...

@ bellydancer well these cry babies can play the blame game all they like, but when a man takes a seat in a chair at a beauty salon to have his hair braided or his nails manicured or his ears pieced; he has no one to blame but himself for his own feminization. Maybe I'm just too damn old but men being pampered like women strikes me as just plain weird and not the least bit attractive or appealing.

Anonymous said...

Please look at this ladies and Sara, please make this the frontline of your blog. It is sickening what happened to this boy. I think it will give black women awareness of how to look out for blackmen that will try to attack them for being with white men.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/CRIME/09/07/new.york.beating/index.html

Anonymous said...

I call these femenized black men bottom feeders.

Alienati0n said...

Sara!

This post is as hilarious as it is true! LOL. From the purple suit wearing preacher to the jail bird with huge diamond earrings in both ears, it is CLEAR that BM expect to be pampered, coddled, spoiled, bejeweled, and as glamorously decorated as your typical high maintenance "princess". I still can't get over the fact that BM brought the beads and braids look back! LOL I've also seen BM with pacifiars in their mouths, getting pedicures, roller sets, wearing mittens, those fussy white hats in the winter that girls wear, riding girls bikes, and wearing baggy pants with boxers with hearts on them. I swear, I wouldn't be surprised if I woke up one day and came outside and BM start a style of being covered head to toe in glitter...LOL

PS: Does anyone know where BM are getting these MASSIVE diamond earrings from?! I don't even see them in many ladies stores. Perhaps Tiffany's & Co? That would mean BM are spending their black girlfriends money to buy exquisite diamonds from Tiffany's like they are freakin' Marilyn Monroe... When I think about how BW are taking over the role of a man for BM it makes me sad. But when I consider the fact that many BM are also expecting BW to take on the role of a "sugar daddy" for them, it both infuriates and entertains me!

Halima, I agree with everything you said Sooo true.

Part I "I am not suprised bm want the coveted prize of 'overall' victim."

I am inclined to believe that EVEN IF there were programs where social workers drove around in vans throwing job applications at thugs with $500 checks attached to them, MOST of your common thug and low life BM wouldn't want it. Any part of masculinity that WM are considered better at and/or more capable of, the BM instantly rebels against and rejects. It's not any easier to become a B-ball player than a doctor necessarily it depends on where you apply your energy, but BM are terrified of competing with WM in any area where they cannot stereotypically excel over WM. More BM will therefore always spend far more time either fantasizing or investing in unrealistic dreams such as becoming a rapper, an athlete, a pimp, a player, etc., as opposed to having the practical wherewithal to invest that energy in becoming an accountant, a tech guy, a lawyer, a science teacher, an office assistant, or whatever.

I've always felt it's a big fat lie that WM liberals tell themselves that BM "can't find jobs" because of poverty, and that this is why they sell drugs and become criminals. But I'm starting to realize that they've probably assumed that as men, black men would do anything to provide for their families, even if that meant illegal behavior then so-be-it. This was true of the Mafia, for example, because Italians assimilated into whiteness later and couldn't find work upon coming into the states. Or even Mexicans who are picking strawberries if necessary to support their families back home, regardless of health consequences. But WM liberals over simplify the sick pathology of the thought VERY MUCH specific to BM, and the selfishness and brutal disregard for ALL life, not just children, that goes into this logic. Lately, I've been trying to insist on explaining to liberals that BM behavior is more about creating distinctive privilege (masculinity on steroids through brutal violence and aggressive sexuality) than it has ever been about lack of opportunity.

Alienati0n said...

Part II: I also think, for example, that police brutality is less about BM being "victims" and more about WM cops exercising control on BM "turf" (the streets) in ways that BM deem to belong to them (using their power to harass, using guns to demand respect, violence as a consequence for not getting respect--THE SAME ways BM exercise their masculinity, specifically over innocent BW+girls). And so on and so forth.

MOST thugs, and losers that stand on the corner have NEVER looked for a job. I don't doubt that a few have "tried" to find jobs out of their league, but that's not really being serious about a job-search. MOST people have big dreams, and the smart ones have a practical goal to go along with it. I have a BW friend who's the best singer you've ever heard. She's not standing on the corner "Waiting to be discovered", she's busting her arse working in the meantime UNTIL it happens. This is true cross-culturally for every group EXCEPT BM. And I've found it to be especially the case for WM.

Yet, how many BM think they are gonna seriously be an entrepeneur type business-man "one day", even though they barely even have a GED? How many drop-out BM when they DO actually try to look for work, look for "get rich quick schemes" or the hopes of one day becoming a CEO of a record label?
BM's inflated sense of self-worth is not applicable in the real world, with real men, and something tells me they realize it which is WHY they favor the streets to employment. I truly believe that if Bill Clinton petitioned to allow every thug into college regardless of academic standing, MOST BM would reject this in favor of their OWN current power dynamic, and claim Bill Clinton was "racist" for trying to prevent BM from running "their own streets".

BM may fantasize WM to be these omnipotent all powerful resourceful gods who can command the destiny of others (like Willie Lynch). But MOST WM are middle class, which means they work tedious office jobs to support their families. This also means that they are willing to sacrifice their "dreams" in if need be to support their wives AND children, take 2nd mortgages for their college kids, have debt, and have to work hard 9-5 40hr weeks until retirement. It sucks for ALL of us. I can't really blame a WM for not really focusing on a BM whining, and moaning about not being able to find a "decent job" when he's busting his behind to provide for his family and a BM doesn't have to, or worse, ISN'T EVEN TRYING.

Look at the GM crisis where WM were working until their fingers practically fell off, developing health problems to support their families. It's more than a poverty issue that BM are opting to stand on street corners than find work. If it were ONLY about poverty, mostly BW and white southerners would be standing on street corners selling drugs since these are the groups that make up the VAST majority of those in poverty according to statistics. And why aren't WE/THEY they doing this?

This is not racism, this is convenient theory. THE STREETS is the only place where you're always a "big man with a gun", where if you don't command respect you can demand to be feared, where hard work takes a backseat to temporary masculine pleasures, and where the cash (like the lifestyle) is quick, easily accessible, and demands no discipline.

I'm sorry to get off topic, I really am. I said all that to say that I think that about 10% of BM's overall behavior is about them being "victims", and the other 90% is about them creating "new" and "innovative" ways to create their own specific types of privilege and power.

-AiOn

Jerry said...

God bless Senior Servant, Pastor Darius Pridgen.

We were discussing Brian Miller in a previous post I suggested that we contact the local news services in Buffalo to express our outrage.

Now I urge you to contact Rod Watson at the Buffalo News to express appreciation. He speaks the truth. Bensonhurst is burned into my childhood memory. That event was almost exactly 20 years ago to the day. Anyone from NYC will remember, but it was in the national news for weeks. How far have we come in 20 years?

Most important, please return the fellowship in expression of gratitude and solidarity to Senior Servant, Pastor Darius Pridgen and all the good Christian brothers and sisters at True Bethel Baptist Church (East Side): East Location: 907 East Ferry St. Buffalo, NY 14211. Do it even if you are not a Christian. (I’m Christian-Jew myself).

And for those of you who wanted to send cards of encouragement to the Miller family and to Miss Nicola Fletcher, I suggest mailing c/o True Bethel Baptist Church East Location. I’m sure these brothers and sisters will get the cards to the right places.

Jerry said...

leave your comments at:
http://www.buffalonews.com/rodwatson/story/783230.html

Aphrodite said...

@Alien

"wearing mittens, those fussy white hats in the winter that girls wear, riding girls bikes, and wearing baggy pants with boxers with hearts on them."

No, no no! This is tooo much! Wow. Just wow. If I see a grown many in "fuzzy little girl mittens" I will snap. That is just wrong! I am a grown woman and I know I cant get away with little girl hand mittens. WTH??


"But when I consider the fact that many BM are also expecting BW to take on the role of a "sugar daddy" for them, it both infuriates and entertains me!"

I got stories. It infuriates me as well. I guess this has gotten worse since I have been on BM permanent hiatus. If I see a BM wearing Tiffany diamonds I don't know what I'd do.



"Any part of masculinity that WM are considered better at and/or more capable of, the BM instantly rebels against and rejects."


I have noticed and never understood this either bc it is so kneejerk and becoming so stupid that it is now comical.


Perhaps this is why some AAs have moved so far away from universal human norms in some ways as Khadija has brought up on her blog.

Aphrodite said...

Thank you Jerry for that information and the link!

lormarie said...

Ok now see I am mad at S.Penn! LOL I had no idea he was liking the coco. I always have had this intense attraction to the Leo male species. Why don't I live in LA??--Aphrodite

He's an amazing actor and humanitarian but a jerk when it comes to women I hear. Penn cheated on his wife and threw Madonna up against a wall years ago. He and Kurt Angle are DBR white men, LOL.

Rocky said...

Darryl James seems to actually agree with your premise:

http://www.blacknla.com/news/Articles/DJMadBlkMan.asp

Lena said...

I read that male columnist's article and I felt like blowing chunks. This man deserves the nomination for sissy of the year! Man he better pray I don't cross paths with him or I'll tell him what I think of him. I think he and other men like him are about as useful to society as cockroaches. He may not realize it but he's reminded me why I don't want anything to do with the non-existent black community!

I don't want an unmanly sissy who doesn't want to be held accountable for his actions. No this teat sucker should never leave his mama's house!

Black community putting the women before men. Is this fool high or something? The thugs from Dunbar got legal protection while the mother and her son were thrown under a bus. The man who wrote the article is stuck on stupid!

I'll take care of a baby but I won't take care of a grown man.

Aphrodite said...

@ Lorraine

"He's an amazing actor and humanitarian but a jerk when it comes to women I hear. Penn cheated on his wife and threw Madonna up against a wall years ago. He and Kurt Angle are DBR white men, LOL."


Dam, dam, dam! LOL I am having an Esther Rolle moment! Say it isn't so! I guess I will have to pass on that as a fantasy. Jealous moment over. :) LOL

sky said...

this is the article rocky was trying to post up. @ least i think it was. correct me if im wrong.

http://www.blacknla.com/
news/Articles/
DJMadBlkMan.asp

ValeriesWorld said...

Very interesting posts. Black women, a lot of them need a whole mindset change. Too many of us for a very long time, have either regarded ourselves as victims, or don't see ourselves worthy, or we cannot visualise ourselves as royalty. Many of us have been brought up in families, particularly our fathers they have been very reluctant to be tender towards us, so we have taken on the masculine role, we have to be good at our studies, we have to help out the black man, it is hard for them and we are made to feel guilty and if we decide we want something else, we can't have it, we don't deserve it.

In UK and USA, black people are make up the small percentage of the population, yet we women black suffer from fibrous, cancers, diabetes more than other ethnic groups, because we are always taking on far too much.

Instead of giving it to God, we take on the stress, we take to the men in our lives who do not want to be men, but what we should do, we should leave them, or better still, instead of sleeping with them, get to know them and seriously think if these men would make marriage partners, can they provide for us, if they cannot provide for you, they will not be able to provide for the children, they will get with you.

Black women need to read Songs of Soloman, Proverbs 31. Proverbs 31 woman had a Proverts 31 man, not a loser. If these men cannot get employment, not a job, because successful, they are irresponsible. They should be left alone.

The world is full of decent quality men, so the people who say that there is a shortage of men, they are liars. The devil uses agents to send fear to us black women, so damaged black men are the devil's agents. That is what they are. Real men don't behave like that, everyone is entitled to have what blog they want. I don't understand why damaged black men come on this blog and complain. They are immature. Black women have to be honest to themselves, if they keep lying, they will reap a harvest of more lies and illness and that is not what God wants for us. He loves us so much, he wants us to marry Kings, not knaves. We are constantly with knaves.

We are God's first creation, He lovingly made us. We have to stop going to Asian hair beauty stores, because they sell rubbish, also the nail bars, with those fakes nails are destroying our nails. The weaves, the very bad ones are destroying our hair, and causing us to go bald, too many black women have got sides, and middle of their hair missing. If you go to hair shows, particularly the one we have in UK, The Black and and Beauty show, again, billions and billions of dollars or pounds are made from us. Companies are rubbing their hands in glee, when they know how much billions is going into their bank accounts.
We black women have to love ourselves, our skin, our supercoily hair and don't calling it slavish names. Like the queen in Snow, instead of saying 'Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the fairest of them all. Say instead 'Heavenly Father, I thank you for making me so beautiful, I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Thank you for all my beautiful features. Thank you in the Name of Jesus. If you say that every day, you will suprised how you feel about yourself.

Taking supplements, B vitamin complex, Biotin, evening primrose, Royal Jelly, Vitamin E, Flaxseed oil, will improve your nails, and your hair. Quality products for your hair such J F Lazartique, Ojon, Anita Grant, Jane Carter solutions, Philip Kingsley, Aveda, Redken, other products, such as castor oil, rosewater, glycerine, aloe vera are excellent for the hair.

Once we do the best for ourselves, we will find better quality men. I am very pleased that you continue to write the truth. God bless you Sara and keep up the good work.

Rocky said...

That's the article Sky. Thanks.

I find it interesting that Darryl James makes almost the exact argument as Sarah in another of his articles. This begs the question of whether the two articles contradict each other. Personally, I would say no. The ideas expressed by James in the article Sarah posted has nothing to do with the feminization of black men. Most of the fourteen stereotypes posted by Sarah have more to do with individual lack of maturity as opposed to feminization. The opinion that black women should take more personal responsibility for their own actions as well as not proliferating myths about black men is not a sign of feminization. It is a sign that men no longer view woman as on the level of children, as our great grandfathers did, who should be seen and not heard. This is what women have been telling us that they want for years.

Amarie said...

Excellent advice ValeriesWorld. I totally agree.

TheWriter,TheActress(Miss Phantom) said...

ValeriesWorld said:
We are God's first creation, He lovingly made us.


TheWriter(Miss Phantom) said: Valerie I love your entire post. Well said.

Ladies this is a very strong statement here. Could this also be a reason why *sometimes* other women get a little envious? No other woman in this world can claim such position in world history.

Black women---think about it. You were/are very lovely to begin with. Get the best man you can and be the woman you should be.

Taylor-Sara said...

Rocky I strongly disagree with you. How is the refusal of a group of grown men to take the reins of their own lives, their way of not treating bw at the level of children? How can a bm standing on the corner all day, or refusing to work, or taking money and help from WOMEN be deemed as a simple lack of maturity instead of a tremendous character flaw? These very characteristics have often been mentally assigned as female charactistics, and yet the bm seems to be trying to corner the market on them! But I will agree with you on the baby part. Making babies and DESERTING them is certainly not a female characteristic, it is in fact an animal one! Many animals leave their young at birth to fend for themselves. Human beings however, should be willing to cut off their own body parts before doing something so abysmal! But you are not blind, I'm sure you see what I see. Bm wearing their hair in more elaborate styles than women, wearing 2 earings, going to the beauty shop instead of the barber shop, and demanding that ppl buy them this, and buy them that. Now if this isn't feminization, tell me-WHAT IS IT?....

Anonymous said...

Rocky is Laurelton(such a girly name) from Queens(of all places).
Darryl James seems to want to talk about himself by trying to stay on the fence.

However, I saw a young mom with her 2 yr. old son and the little boy was wearing a big @$$ earring. He was a great looking kid. However, no male child should wear an earring. What's the purpose? There is no purpose but to make that child look like some young thug. In my opinion that child looked ridiculous. I felt sad for him (feminization).

OK, if wearing of braids is part of your religion than that is a different subject.

Yesterday, I saw this 20something yr. old man with his tinted braids pulled backwards in a big rubber band. And, he had the front of his hair shaved in some type of design with his side burns shaved in a very fine line. That might be OK if the guy was modeling; but, every day life? I thought Ok his hair is cute and then I realized CUTE IS FOR WOMEN AND NOT FOR MEN.

I think one of the problems is there are too many gay and download men giving straight men these silly grooming ideas. And, the gay men are laughing because they are under the radar trying to feminize as many men as possible.
Think about it gay men almost control the entire fashion industry and their opinions no matter how ecentric carries alot of weight in determining what both men and women wear.


A.W.

lormarie said...

Although I pointed out that wm can be dbr (we all knew that) it is important to remember that they rarely commit crimes against bw.

Re the topic: bm have feminized themselves big time after white supremacy started the job. The thing is, many of them don't even realize it. The fact that they bash and even compete with bw is evidence of their feminization. After all, women compete with women and men are supposed to compete with men. BM feel that they are only able to compete with women. They go on youtube and post these stupid videos because they are insecure.

Many of them claim that bw push the down low truth. HOWEVER, was it not a gay Conservative white Englishmen (Andrew Sullivan) who takes the credit for exposing the down low bm?

All I can say is this, black misogynists have started a fight and I've decided that they are going to get a fight back. Feminize yourself, that is exactly how you will be treated.

Almondtea said...

I bet the moron in the curly cutesy braids is what that SargeWP misogynist in-chief looks like.

I don't care if black men chase after white women. Good riddance! I just hope white women are "strong" enough to fight for them LOL!

These men who whine about women not letting them be men are pathetic! I know what a real man is because my father was a real man and provided for my mother and my siblings. He was everything a man should be and then some. He loved us and he cherished my mother.

These sissies aren't even fit to polish his shoes!

Rocky said...

Anon

"Laurelton" is the name of a suburb in Queens where the blogger apparently lived. His name is Andrew. We are two different people.

Rocky said...

Sarah
What brings one to the level of a child is not being held responsible for your own actions. We take responsibility for the actions of children because they have yet to develop the mental capability to be responsible for themselves. So their actions are expected to reflect adult guidance. When black women have 100% control over whether they hoochie dance on hip hop videos, yet black men held accountable at nearly 100% for them appearing on such videos, that relegates those women to the status of children. One is basically saying that these women don't have the capacity to be responsible for their actions.

I never said that these things are not tremendous character flaws. I said that it is more an indication of immaturity as opposed to feminization.

These men couldn't take money and help from women if those women would not give it to them. Yet apparently these women are not capable of refusing to enable trifling men, thus men must take 100% responsibility for not taking money from them.

Sarah, you have to understand and accept that women don't hook up with educated, hard working men and then those men suddenly decide to stand on street corners all day. The men they hook up with are like that from the start and the women have this naive notion of changing these men despite evidence that men like this never change. The insensitive, self centered, laid back demeanor of such men is, for some reason, appealing and many black women flock to this hoping to get commitment from it. Acknowledging this means that black women must take responsibility for the men they choose, but for whatever reason, men must take 100% responsibility for who women get with even when today's "independent woman" is going to get with whoever she wants no matter what anyone else advises.

I think that you are trying to assign female characteristics to this behavior, but most folks see it differently. They see irresponsibility, lack of pride, laziness, selfishness, immaturity, etc., but not particularly femininity. What folks see more so as feminine is a growing trend among white men to declare themselves as house husbands. They stay at home, cook, clean, dust, mop and take care of the kids. Such apron wearing men are generally viewed in more feminine terms than men who simply live off of women while showing no other responsibility to the household or woman aside from providing her with sex.

Society doesn't view them as feminine. Society views them as gigolos.

And I don't see what you see. On any given day, I would say that at least 99% of black men and boys I see are sporting low or bald fades, tattoos, jeans, t-shirts and tennis shoes. Anyone can find pictures of feminine looking black men, but what is your bases for declaring this to be something common? I see far more white men with long hair than black men with long braids. I see similar numbers of white men with earrings and far more white men wearing short shorts and tight shirts. Lots of jewelry doesn't make a man feminine as long as it is masculine jewelry. Mr. T had jewelry all over his body. "Bling" is a part of hip hop culture and earrings have become acceptable as male attire in much the way that tattoos have become acceptable for women (though black women tend to lean toward a more masculine form of tattooing than other women). Also, what about the black men in the 50s, 60s and 80s who wore perms?

And in truth, Darryl James was not defending black men who dress feminine. He was criticizing them as you do. His point, as well as my point, was the idea of black women accepting responsibility for their own behaviors.

Anonymous said...

Rocky you will not be happy until Sarah validates you. She is not going to do it...so just move on.

lois

Anonymous said...

Also, what about the black men in the 50s, 60s and 80s who wore perms?

They were feminized black man too!

S said...

Anon - I personally think that the BM "back in the days", 50's, 60's were trying really hard to be, and i hate this saying " be more like white men" in order to be accepted.
They relaxed, permed their hair slick, straight, wore suits and behaved more "white man like" and even treated BW better...atleast out in public, and they never called BW any nasty names in their songs. god forbid!
Anyways, that soon changed. sigh.

cool_splash1 said...

What folks see more so as feminine is a growing trend among white men to declare themselves as house husbands. They stay at home, cook, clean, dust, mop and take care of the kids. Such apron wearing men are generally viewed in more feminine terms than men who simply live off of women while showing no other responsibility to the household or woman aside from providing her with sex.

I don't know about that I have seen some that are hard core dudes. Now some might be more feminine. I do think that you do have men out of every group who have more feminine tendacies, but don't necessarily act like women. "They stay at home, cook, clean, dust, mop and take care of the kids."

They should be doing some of these things anyway. Especially if they are staying at home and not just hanging around wanting her to do it all.

But do have to say I don't think it's a big trend like America's trying to make it out to be. Many of the men who are doing it aren't really happy doing it. There are some who are. Most men that I know are stay at home have a business (really what stay at home moms should be doing also contrary to the Ozzie and Harriet ideal household)_

Anonymous said...

I think the BM that wrote that article made some good points. If you visit a BM/WW website you hear black men dogging black women with all the negative sterotypes that we all here. You come here it is the complete opposite. The thing is, people here what they want to hear. I feel the women on this blog hate black men some much that they can not hear or see anything else that does not line up with their bitterness toward BM.

I don't understand why R. Kelly is attracted to young girls. I believe he was supposedly married to Aaliyah when she was 16. But at the same time I think the guy makes a good point about the aunt that offered her niece to R. Kelly should have some type of punishment handed to her. I think he makes a good point about the parents. Where were they when all this was going on?

I saw that video of R. Kelly and the 13 year girl several years ago and he did not rape her. She did everything willing. Unless he got her drunk I don't think he should get in trouble. I don't really believe in staturory rape. The girl was 13 she knew what she was doing.

I don't think people realize how much slavery, Jim Crow, white supremacy, media, etc. have affected the pysche of the black community. You have bm hating bw. You have bw hating bm. I don't understand how a black man can say he finds white women attractive and then look his mother, aunts, and sisters in the face. I assume most of the women on here are black, so how can you say all these negative things about BM and then look your fathers, uncles, and brothers in the face.

Sara why are you so concerned about helping little black girls and not little black boys. Without proper guidance those little black boys will grow up to be those abusive black men that you hate. I'm concerned about little black girls because without proper guidance they will grow up and allow abusive black men to take advantage of them, treat them wrong, and then the cycle continues.

Lena said...

I hate how the black community excuses the overall collective abuse of black women. If I appear totally unconcerned about black men then it's because black men view me as lower than dirt. So yeah I could careless about uplifting and protecting black men. The same men who go out of their way to crush the spirits of black women.

Sorry but black men will just have to fend for themselves!

trish said...

Anon said:I saw that video of R. Kelly and the 13 year girl several years ago and he did not rape her. She did everything willing. Unless he got her drunk I don't think he should get in trouble. I don't really believe in staturory rape. The girl was 13 she knew what she was doing.


Are you insane????? You're putting the onus on the girl and not R.Kelly??? At this rate you could probably justify anything. This is why black women need to rescue themselves and their daughters from those espousing this deranged mindset.

Anonymous said...

"so how can you say all these negative things about BM and then look your fathers, uncles, and brothers in the face."...EASILY

ANNONYMOUS @ 8:39 are you retarded? R. Kelly is a paedophile. Introduce him to your little daughter or nieces. Anon. you are one sick puppy.

STUPID...A girl who is 13 yrs. old is still a CHILD. If a child is displaying mature behavior then one should look towards her parents or guardians. In addition, if her aunt offered her 13 y. o. niece to an adult man than the Aunt should share a jail cell with that man. This R. Kelly continuously gets himself into "situations".

lois

Anonymous said...

Anon. pain in the rear...this blog is about bw and bg not bm or bb. Start you own bm and bg blog and you can make whatever statements you desire.

Taylor-Sara said...

Anon 8:39
You are too sick and twisted to reason with. NEVER come here again!!! The fact that you would ardently defend the molestation of a child turns my stomach!! You are as sick and twisted as he is! I won't even address anything else you say, anyone who endorses the rape of a child, I won't have anything to do with. Don't ever come back here, and I suggest you get help! But before you go, let me ask you something. If it was YOUR child, would you let this rapist anywhere near her?

Lynn said...

anon thinking that a 13 year old girl should have know better and it's her fault is TYPICAL DBRBM behavior. When the RKelly mess came up my dad and my DBR uncle were talking about it and my dad said, if it wasn't true then WHY is he being question. My DBR was actually defending RKelly and so was his low life girlfriend. So the Anon that posted all that MESS about RKelly and such...he is just a DBR Black Man, that's how they think. He's ignorant!

And once again this just goes to show you ladies that we need to move on with our lives, and open ourselves up to more opportunities with different types of men. Because if not, that is an example of the DBR BM type of ignorance that is out there in the Black Community with "da bruthas".

Ladydragon said...

I think the word some of the commentors wanted to describe the feminization of BM is; Eunach.
I just had to de-lurk to make this comment. I also want to let Sara know just how much I enjoy her blog and to keep up the good work!

Anonymous said...

*clapping*...for valeriesworld....beautifully said....

XaiXai said...

Speaking of feminized black males, take a look at this!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BVHyzkWIkbQ

Wow!! Taylor-Sara your post in on time!!

Anonymous said...

I'm anonymous 8:39. I did not think what I said was that bad. I'm not much of a fan of the statuary rape law. I feel unless a man/boy is forcing himself on girls/woman then it should not be considered rape. When I saw that video I just did not see rape. The girl did not look naive or innocent in that video. I feel she knew what she was doing.

I think R. Kelly is weird. I don't know how you can get off from a girl who is barely a teenager. I know that girls nowadays sometimes look older than they are but once you find out how old the girl is you have to leave her alone. I would not put R. Kelly in the same boat as man that actually rapes kids. I'm talking 5,6,7,8 year old kids who are completely defenseless and vulnerable. Taylor-Sara I would not want R. Kelly near my daughter, but at the same time I would not want my 13 year old daughter anywhere near a 13 year old boy because I know where their heads are at.

I feel ya'll are saying I'm disgusting and sick because the 13 year old is black girl and R. Kelly is a black man. If you change the races to white I don't think ya'll would be all up in arms over it. I could be wrong though.

Lynn I don't think I am a DBR BM. If you actually knew me I think you would think I'm far from it. I actually defend and stand up for black people more than anybody I know especially for black women because I know ya'll go through more stuff than any other group of people in this country.

Anonymous said...

Feminization comes feminist. Tear down the patriarchy! No difference between genders. we'are all equal. A woman should feel free to wear men's clothes and do men jobs. So why should guys not dress feminine hairstyle and wear as many jewel as they want? You got your feminist matriarchy where all thing feminine become prominent and all things masculine is criminalized and demonised.. jus like the feminist demonization of the black man that goes on here. Word! It's all the same shit you've learned from feminist manhaters and you're teaching the same hatred of men.. only that u target the black man only, cause u need some dick to procreate so u can't start a war with every dick in town. Jus as you hate men who are feminized is the same way men hate you masculine shemale monsters.

cheryl said...

"This includes the proliferation of the Down Low myth [...] All popular myths that fall from the lips of Black women more than any other group of people in this nation.

THEN

"The ignorant bag of crap JL King has recently released a DVD designed to educate people on how to recognize a Down Low Black man."

Before I continue, so first, the DL thing is a "myth created by BW", yet it's a BM who released this DVD, so why are we blamed again?

You always recognize a person's maturity or lackthereof by whether they take responsibility or blame. If RKelly being guilty doesn't matter, then no crime does. Because it will always be blamed on the victim's "upbringing" and an exhaustive list of other excuses. This guy has no credibility.

Cheryl said...

Good article. The bottomline is women need to vet men and stay away from any guy that shows signs of "victimhood".