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Friday, December 10, 2010

How to save your daughters from the boys in the hood....

lovely college student killed for her refusal to date a damaged man





We've all seen it. The young girls dragging strollers as they trudge along in the hood. Looking scared,and desperate, or sometimes trying to put on the mean face to discourage would be combatants. We've all seen the desperation on the faces of young women trying to hold on financially or spiritually as these predators get their fill and move on to more promising targets. It's horrible but it's a sad fact of life. The truth is palpable, but ppl who are NOT going anywhere are out to drag you and yours down with them.

So how do you protect your children?


To me this is pretty obvious. You should not be there! Don't let your children hang in the hood. Severely limit their time even passing through, and definitely discourage their friendships with ppl who would be described as hood- identified.
Now first I need to put in a disclaimer because I do not wish to be mis-quoted.
There are a lot of good ppl in the hood without question, I am in no way disputing this obvious fact. But I feel it is an equally obvious fact that the worst place in the world for any young woman to look for a husband is in the hood or other black enclaves. The men in these places (MOST) are low skilled, deviant, angry over forces beyond their control. Most have been conditioned to hang on the streets, indulge in activities which exceed the bounds of legality in order to get funds, or use women in multiple ways in order to augment their paltry incomes or satisfy Their sexual and non sexual needs...Most of these men are very detrimental to the naive women they become involved with, and sometimes the results are even deadly as many of these men are involved with illegal activities and dangerous characters which are then visited upon the women involved.
I strongly believe one of the worst things people can do is to allow their daughters COMPLETE freedom as a young girl to date indiscriminately anyone she chooses. I know this will be a very controversial subject and I certainly empathise with the passion this line of belief will undoubtedly raise. But young girls are quite vulnerable, and naive. And they must be encouraged, educated, protect ed, and steered to a better class of men! They cannot be allowed to simply bring home the first fool who winks at them. They must be guided and made to see that dating and marrying the wrong man can influence and negatively affect them and their offspring for the rest of their lives. I'm sorry some of you are pulling out your hair right now in anger, but someone has to say it. Most of the boys in the hood are NOT husband material and most never will be. I just want to post a few scenarios to explain why I know this to be true, and then we can discuss it en mass....
I know someone who has young teens whom she fought arduously to remove from the hood, but problems had already surfaced before she could get out.....

She had fought hard to get herself and her children out of the hood, but her daughter had fallen for some gang member before they left. She immediately had to contend with her daughter sneaking back at (16) to see this 20-something year old thug. He encouraged her daughter to lie to her, and to sneak off as often as she could. I advised her to take her daughter deep into the old neighborhood. Show her how those women and girls really lived. Rip off the veneer of glamour and reveal the real ugly truth behind ghetto life. Show her the baby daddies who run off and leave those women struggling alone. Show her the little children trying to get themselves off to school because mom is already at a job she's struggling to keep, and cannot take them. Show them the loss of hope, and utter despair that permeates these type of environments.

I told her to show the despair and pain behind gang-affiliated life styles and the wake of bodies left behind. Sometimes scaring a child straight can be a very effective deterent.


I remember being a child in Hawaii. We were in class one day and our teacher showed us a film on drug use. I remember being totally horrified by the lifestyle portrayed by the film. People were shooting up, having bleeped out sex scenes with strangers throwing up in the streets and more... I immediately associated drug use with losers and lower forms of life in my young mind. This one film kept me from ever even smoking a joint all these years. I could not conceive of being addicted to any substance, and therefore was unwilling to even try any of them. To this day, I have never tried any drug, not even cigarettes. This is the power of scaring a child straight. So many girls do not know where they are headed as they travel full speed toward a cliff! You must let them know. My associate did not take my advice. She thought I was overreacting and that her daughter would come to her senses. Her daughter is now pregnant by a loser who is the father of 3 other children and is now incarcerated. Her daughter has dropped out of HS, and thrown away all of her youthful dreams, as her baby-daddy told her they were silly and for white girls. She also is being hunted by one of his other baby mamas as he told baby mama #2 she had seduced him to get pregnant...


She has tried to talk to her daughter about leaving him alone but she is a now a fool in love, and will not listen. This is what happens when you allow the bc to get into your child. Ladies you must do EVERYTHING within your power to keep this scenario from happening. These girls are throwing their lives away! You all know about my young cousin and how she was kicked out of one man's bed because he had another young girl coming to the same UNCHANGED bed with the SAME condom and SAME sheets. Well that same cousin is now the mother of 3 children by 3 different men. She just gave birth again last week. None of the fathers will step up, she is mired in poverty and desperation, and is one of the saddest young women you have ever seen. I tried to talk to her for years but she always told me to mind my business, and could do as she pleased. Well I guess she certainly has done as she pleased. The saddest thing is her story is SOOOOO common in the hood. She has two friends who both have babies by the same guy. They constantly fight each other for his crumbs of attention. He does not take care of theirs or his other children and encourages them to fight over him.... sad but common...

I can only tell you ladies what we did. When my very young teen was trying to date a ne'er to do well boy from the hood(where much of my family still lives) We made life very hard for her. We forbid almost every date on some technical reason. We imposed unreasonable time limits. We made it clear he was not welcome anywhere near the house and we increased her chores so she would not be able to go. Was that fair? I don't know. I was fighting for my daughter and did not really give a damn about fair. We just did not want him anywhere near her, and we made it very clear. It was not long before she got tired of fighting us and began dating someone far more suitable....

So I would love to hear your stories ladies and your take on this situation for all the mothers who do not want their daughters to be left behind baby mommas and sexual toilets to the damaged predators out there....

61 comments:

Anonymous said...

You probably saved a young girl's future with this post. Maybe more than one.

Anonymous said...

This is wonderfully written and timely advise. Please, no matter the objection carry on this work, because if even one young female changes the course of her life, your blog has fulfilled its purpose. I have been looking at the beauty both inside and out of black women and know they all deserve more than many are getting in their lives. I hope even one girl who is thinking to do something foolish happens upon this post and make a wise choice for her future.

Anonymous said...

I have enjoyed reading your blog for the past year or so, but I don't think you can say every person in the black community is hopeless and down in the dumps. There are many black communities where you have several socio-economic levels. I think you were right to try and advise your cousin on her situation, but some people are just hard headed. There are good and bad people everywhere. It's all about the standards you hold people to. I have been described by some people as stuck up and I'm fine with that. I appreciate your site and others like it encouraging black women to explore their options and raise their standards, and I agree until it comes to putting down an entire community. Am I from the so called hood? Yes. Am I some over the top weaved out, uneducated hoodrat with 5 kids with different fathers? No. I'm educated and constantly working on improving my financial situation. I used to think of running as fast I could from the hood, but after passing the age of 30 and substituting for a year, I realize that part of the reason so many communities are in the horrible state you described is because of the attitude I had. I'm not saying to socialize with convicted felons, but you'd be surprised how many college and self-educated people there are in the hood. My point is to find like minded individuals and work toward changing things. Sara, like you I refuse to lower my standards for any man and I don't go through life with rose colored glasses, but I do realize the richness in history and love that still lies in so many black communities. Instead of encouraging your friend to have her daughter steer clear of the hood, maybe you should of advised her to introduce her daughter to different female community leaders that have high standards and have lived their lives accordingly. Sorry, if I was a little long winded, I just love my people. I criticize the wrong, applaud the good, and pray for everything in between. I'll keep reading and may comment from time to time. Thanks for the space.

Shan said...

This is an outrage! How could something like this happen? These type of AA men are just like their "brothers" in Africa who rape little babies and commit all sorts of insane acts, not too far removed. Killed her because she refused to date him?!?!

I am so thankful for this blog because if it wasn't for me coming across this blog and reading this info, I would probably still be half blind to some of the issues in the bc.

This just ruined my night. I am so angry about this!

Anonymous said...

Y'know, its hard for a WOMAN to TAKE HER DAUGHTER OUT THE HOOD without a male cousin or brother to help her!! does she have a man in her family?

Taylor-Sara said...

Sorry to ruin your night shan.
although i understand your anger. a couple of bm damaged boards actually encouraged this young lady's death (the killer complained that she would not give him the time of day)and then celebrated after she died... so sad and unbelievable...

Anon. you are right and I agree. There are many good ppl in the hood, but I still maintain that it's one the worst places to look for a mate besides jail that is. There is just such a conglomeration of damaged souls there, it's a very unwise move for a yg to look for a man there...

Sophisticatedblkwoman said...

"There are many good ppl in the hood, but I still maintain that it's one the worst places to look for a mate besides jail that is."



I agree, it's all about probability and ratios with me. A good very few doesn't make it the norm (in the bc). I'm angry as well I feel so bad for that young girl. Sometimes I wish there was more I can do.

Anonymous said...

To Anon. l0:58 pm,

You are joking? Right? We all know that there are some good people in the bc. Unfortunately, the rats have almost over-taken the bc. Young girls and adult women are really not safe walking the streets. Most weekends someone is shot. These sick men/boys do not care if a child gets caught in the middle of a shoot out.

Anon. I realize you mean well. It sounds as if you really need to read more of Sara's, Evia's and Khadija's blogs.

Singer Aaron Neville just married a non-bw photographer, his first wife was a very fair complexioned bw. This is a man who has travelled the world and he simply could not locate one intelligent and attractive bw? That is total BS and the same goes for his brother.
As that old saying goes, "What is good for the gander is good for the goose". Wake up anonymous.

a.

Anonymous said...

To anonymous 10:59,

Tonight I was at a local restaurant and this bm walked in with his obviously bi-racial daughter. I was amused at the way he catered to this maybe 9 yr. old.
I could not help but wonder if this little girl was dark would he had been so attentive. LOL, he put his suit coat around her and it was not that cold. I left first and about a minute later they left the restaurant. While I was backing out and checking my rear view mirror guess who is looking in my direction.

a.

lormarie said...

Sara, you made it very clear in your post that there are some very good people in the hood. I'm not sure why anyone decided to imply that you did not.

Anyway, thanks for the tips on rightfully sabatoging a daughter's relationship with a dbr thug. My daughter is only a year but I wondered how I might handle such a scenario. I also thought about raising her with the idea that certain males were beneath her and thus not suitable for a relationship...anything to keep her away from the dbr's.

Traci said...

Yeah, I agree with you Sara. That's why I left the hood. It's the PROBABILITY of finding a decent mate in the hood is low. Very low.

Now, yes there are good and bad people everywhere but there are SO MANY MORE in the hood. If there weren't then the crime rate in these areas wouldn't be so high! People aren't making the statistics up!

If anyone thinks that by staying in the hood they will find a decent make is not living in reality. You aren't. BW need to stop lying to themselves!

Traci said...

and yes...I RAN FAST from the BC and have never looked back. I have no regrets either!

Selena said...

Hey Sara *waves*

Unfortunately many will never "get" this often said, much overlooked, life-saving action.

I know the trolls will be trolling LOL.

We've seen these scenarios played out among our families and even in Hollywood (J-Hud anyone?)

Keep spreading the message!

Amanda said...

"I used to think of running as fast I could from the hood, but after passing the age of 30 and substituting for a year, I realize that part of the reason so many communities are in the horrible state you described is because of the attitude I had."

I understand and actually used to think the same until I went to school in the hood. I'm sorry, but it takes two to fix the community. It's mostly bw expected to do the work. BM are mostly leaving the hood in droves if and when they can. And for those who stay you have to realize you chose to live there not your kids.

Shan said...

I used to feel angry anytime I hear about a bm getting shot by a police officer and etc, but not anymore. These losers attack, degrade and kill bw and celebrate? And expect bw to be sympathetic to their plight? I'm sorry but I have absolutely no sympathy for bm, maybe pity but no sympathy. If women who God made the 'weaker vessel' can raise children, work and go to school and do something with their lives to better their condition, then men (bm) who God made the 'stronger vessel' should be able to do that and more, but yet bm can't or rather seemingly don't want to. Which is why I have little respect for them and prefer to stay out of their company.

Gab said...

Excellent post as usual! What's sad is that some people refuse to believe that any of this happens and that when someone talks about DBM or left behind baby mamas, they're "exaggerating". If so then why do I see women walking around with strollers every day with NO man in sight or hear men talking about their multiple "bitches"?

Val said...

This is a very interesting and insightful topic. I live in the South and I frequent some of the toughest “hoods” in my city. My personal observation when seeing the numerous black women and girls in such communities is that they overwhelmingly and surprisingly seem content. They are very active in the social interactions of those communities and are quite a part of the culture with regard to their speech, dress and dating habits. It seemed baffling considering the environment they live in.

I’ve long concluded that the bulk of black women and girls in “the hood”, likewise carry “the hood” inside of them and “the hood” is quite often their comfort zone. I didn’t know if this was simply my perception or not, yet it seemed to be supported by the recent study indicating that black women are 'happier' than white women.

Also, are there any news links to the story of the young lady pictured? I'm not familiar with this sad crime.

Thanks for the opportunity to post.

Anonymous said...

Well Shan, you do quite an inservice to the 8.1 million black men in the civilian workforce and the near 1 million currently enrolled in college.

Kim said...

Where can we read the story about the college student that was killed??
Thanks.
ka

Taylor-Sara said...

Hi kim, you can read about it on my sister-bloggers site. She has an excellent posting...
below;
www.blackgirlsrockit.com/2009/04/black-women-...

Anonymous said...

Isn't that the Youtube murder? I don't recall Anthony Powell trying to date Asia McGowan. He was more like a black version of George Sodini. Mentally ill and hateful of women.

IrishCool said...

Happy Holidays to you Sara and all the beautiful black princesses out there. As a white guy, the racial aspect of this subject is something that I tend to stay away from. But my belief is that violence against woman (especially woman of color)appears to be at an all time high, it's almost a national scandal that no one wants to talk about. You want to see a tragic case look up the Michael Mele case here in my part of the country. He is a middle class white guy with a sordid sexual deviant past accused of murdering and defiling a young latina dancer. Bad guys know no color, they exist in all shades- but woman have to be there biggest advocates because from what I see male leadership has failed on this issue in every racial community, african-american community maybe more than others. Peace!

Taylor-Sara said...

Hi Anon. Actually he complained to
several bm boards that she would not date him. Some todl him to move on, but 2 in particular advocated that he "get even" They then went into detail as to all the horrible things he should do to this poor young woman. He followed their advice by shooting her and these 2 boards of sickos celebrated. Many of you know who they are, but I will not give them a mention,they would just love that....

IrishCool, (love that name btw)
I am fully aware that violence is perpetrated against ALL women. But we who've taken the time to really look into this horror, know that bw are on the tail end of this violence and hatred far, far, FAR more than any other women (esp. white women) So this is not to take from anyone, and I certainly do not wish any woman to be hurt or maimed by violence, but my primary concern here is to save as many bw as I can. And most of the hatred and violence coming at bw is coming from men who look just like them.(You can easily research this) So please don't quote stats to me or tell me how all men have violent tendencies, bm have proven time and again that their tendency toward ruthlessness and violence is without equal...

lisa said...

why don't you just say it Sara
more "suitable boy" was just code word for white! You thought your daughter was too good for a bb, and you know it...

Anonymous said...

child please, bm dont give a damn about their bi racial daughters the same way they dont give a damn about their regular black daughters.

Faith said...

Steering young girls towards a better prospect young man will make or break her life! I have a close relative who got pregnant at 14 because she was allowed to have a 17 year old boyfriend ne're-do-well type and was left alone with him for long stretches of time AND not informed about the emotional ramifications of this being her first (everything) nor being schooled on birth control. Gah! This makes me angry.

Bella Donna said...

Wow Sara. Those were some stories and something I think a lot of these young women out here need to hear. It scares me to think I would have been one of those sad teen mothers had my parents not gotten my brother and I out of the hood. We moved when I was really young (about six) so I wasn't influenced by my outside surroundings in anyway at the time. Thank God for that.

On the flip side I have a best friend (she happens to be the daughter of my dad's childhood friend lol) that has two kids by two different men (both black). One is in jail while the other is mooching off of her, sitting in her house like he's the man while beating her in front of her kids. She says the same thing your cousin said when anyone tries to tell her anything, "Leave me alone! I can do what I want." What these dummies don't understand is that once you have kids it's NOT about you anymore. Everything you do affects your kids.

I just realize I went off topic, sorry. I think you did the right thing in regards to how you handled you daughter. Thugs and gangstas hold a certain appeal to young women. Especially young women that don't know the full scope of what that "man's" life entails. They have no idea what he does (I mean really does) to get the money he has. They don't know how many lives he screws just so he can have what he wants. They don't know that a lot of them don't care about the women they are with, they just want any and everything these women will gladly and without question give up.

This is why I'm trying so hard right now to make sure I date well. So I can marry well and my husband and I won't have to settle for living in the ghetto because we can't afford anything better. That's NOT happening. My kids will have the best of everything I can provide for them, including their father, home and education.

Bella Donna said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Georgia said...

@ Lisa, Anon 10:58 & Anon 1:29.

I read/hear what you're saying, but the thought I have whilst doing that is: N*gg*r please stop making MORE excuse.

You want to know what TRULY disappoints me and hurts me most about being black, it's that the moment you put the BLACK before the words: child/children/boy/girl/man/woman/education/love/family, the standards, expectations & viability goes from above normal to way below normal AND add insult to injury, NOT ONLY does it seem that the majority of black people in this country just accept this notion for themselves, their families and their children; THEY DEFEND IT!

WHY! WHY! WHY! WHY! WHY IS THAT?

There was a dream and movement and time it was NOT this way, HOW DID WE GET HERE, but more importantly: HOW DO WE GET BACK THERE?

It starts, by ADMITTING: WE HAVE PROBLEM! We (as a people) are suffering world wide at PANDEMIC #s, but instead of working towards solutions, instead of listening to people with valid solutions, WE MAKE EXCUSES. "the person delivering the message is racist, the person delivering the message is a wanne-be white, uppity, sell-out, excuse, excuse, excuse, but you're so QUICK to refute the person or the message- you don't get to the point: WE HAVE A PROBLEM!

You hear some words, but refuse to LISTEN to what's being said! And what the message is WE HAVE TO MAKE CHANGES--DRASTIC CHANGES--RIGHT NOW!
So STOP make excuse, and defending, what? I don't even understand WHAT EXACTLY, but I do know that you're making it known that you're willing to fight to the death to defend it, but what is it? Broken homes, broken lives, and broken futures that lead NOWHERE.

I'm sick of all these excuses, and when people like Sara and others writing Black womanist blogs like her's say: WAKE UP, CHANGE, GET OUT--the response is: Not everyone is bad, there is some of us who work and some of us in school, or you just want to be white/ you wish you were white. N*GG*R PLEASE SHUT UP--YOU'RE NOTHING BUT A CRAB TRING DESPERATELY TO DRAGGING SOMEONE BACK INTO THE MUD WITH YOU-AND WHY-IS THE MUD ANYPLACE TO LIVE?

NO, not everyone is bad but A MAJORITY ARE! We're putting up numbers in the 50/60/70 percentile, AND YOU'RE STILL MAKING EXCUSES--Come on now!
Come on now, BW you have too too much god-given common sense for all this? WHAT'S GOIN ON NOW!

Forgive the rant Sara, but I just don't understand, I don't get it, what does it take-What will it take? ANSWER THAT NAYSAYERS -BEFORE-YOU DEFEND THE MUD YOU'RE LIVING IN!

Betty Boo said...

One of the "Annonymous" writers said that the reason why alot of black communities are in the condition the are in is becasue of the attitudes of black once they "make it" they "forget" the community. My issue with this statment is that in dealing with issues like this it is a double edge sword. There are those who do go back and try to help but much of the community seems to like their oppression and do not want to make any type of effort to help themselves. I remember one colleague of mine wanted to put her business training to use in her community; so she decided to to do a summer training class where she would teach the kids in the neighborhood about entrepenuership and business. She would supply the materials and lunch. All she asked was that the parents bring their children to the community center. The parents said things like and I quote, "WHY CAN'T Y'ALL COME AND GET THEM?" or "I A'INT GOT TIME TO TAKE THEM UP THERE I GOT THANGS TO DO." and the list went on. She was so frustrated that she suspended the class. I have seen this resistance myself and it baffles me. And when the people who cameback to give back leave in frustration because they are tired of being fought against, then the very same people who resisted their help call them "sell-outs" GO FIGURE!

HCoPlastic said...

Lisa, don't you have a bm you should be bailing out of jail? Women like you disgust me. She's discussing a very REAL problem and here you are, turning into race-baiting petty bs. You should be ashamed of yourself. Go and take your mammying tactics elsewhere because no one here is interested or cares what you have to say.

Anonymous said...

While on a dating site this blk guy wrote to me. His exact word were "when you gonna make me tap that ass"

Am always in shock at some of the things on their profiles. Like what your occupation" make that paper"

Or if you're ever happen to be on the bus with them, and hearing them bragging about how they just got out. That's out of jail.

I know this might be a bit off topic........

Anonymous said...

I totally agree that a lot of people in the Blk community loves the dis function. I happen to be on a bus a few days ago, that goes through the hood to get to where i was going. And man i was baffled to see the condition these people live in. garbage everywhere. One girl i saw eating something out of a bag and just dropping it right at her feet!!!

Why, why,why.....do some black people have to live like this???? And don't tell me it's b/c they are poor. The neighborhoods are so dirty and UN kept. Trust me it make me sad to see this.

And why every turn you see another fry chicken shop???? Sigh

Anonymous said...

Lisa i thiank it's time to go and get yo man out of jail,you are sad type of bw who just don't get it or better yet you do get but just wanna play dumb all in the name of the blackmen sad, sad, sad.feel so sorry for bw like your-self but then again you ask for what you get...

ak said...

Sara:

Hi Anon. Actually he complained to
several bm boards that she would not date him. Some todl him to move on, but 2 in particular advocated that he "get even" They then went into detail as to all the horrible things he should do to this poor young woman. He followed their advice by shooting her and these 2 boards of sickos celebrated. Many of you know who they are, but I will not give them a mention,they would just love that....



Hell to the No! As much time that has passed since Asia McGowan was murdered the police or somebody should have tracked down the names and account of those two so-and-so's on that blog who were encouraging and telling the man to kill Asia or hurt her, and celebrating it. Much like The Accused movie with Jodie Foster when they went not only for the rapists but also the ones there at the bar verbally encouraging the rapists to 'keep on going'.

Because to me it's the same thing, only there was no internet back then that's all.

ak said...

Yeah Betty Boo you make a good point. On other blogs, people have been saying the same thing about the black people who have made it who go back to give back to their hood, or some other hood out there only to get back 'dirty looks' or something else like it, or plain indifference as if there was 'no problem in the world at all', and therefore have the poor dears wasting their time and their money most likely!

Sometimes some of them in the hood look at the 'made it' ones as if they're trying to be bougie, act like they're all that, or plain laugh in their faces. Or they ask for even more and more on top of what's being offered without even offering to take one step towards it or contributing.

And then some people may ask if the 'made it' black people were acting condescendingly, and no, I don't think that's the case at all. If a black person wanted to be condescending to the ones in the hood all they'd have to do is stay away from them totally and just talk about them, or not at all.

But some blacks in the hood put down every black person who doesn't dress like a hip hop video and who doesn't do Ebonics, and will laugh at them. Who has time to put up with giving back to people who berate you, laugh at you, ungrateful, or just plain indifferent to your efforts, time, and money? You're gonna put up with it just because they're black like you? Whatever.

The time can be better spent and God knows so can the money!

Anonymous said...

This story is timely but a little late for a BW in south sacramento who was 'in the way' of some negro foolishness---sigh---she was just putting her 2 yo in the car when she was shot outside a barber shop===I saw this story on-line and also the comments--people were saying that was stupid nigger foolishness, even though the race of the people werent shown then--people who werent black were giving the benefit of the doubt--and i was hoping they werent black of latino--sigh--we were WRONG, they WERE black====we black women NEED TO LEAVE THE HOOD---NOW!

Jessica said...

@lisa
"why don't you just say it Sara
more "suitable boy" was just code word for white! You thought your daughter was too good for a bb, and you know it..."

Every Black person, male or female, I've come across who says stuff like that has a deep complex about White people. It's sad really.

And btw, not all bb live in the hood. I have daily proof on my own quiet, peaceful, suburban street.

@Georgia
You are 100% right!

Telly said...

Hello Ladies,

Full disclosure, I am a white male, single, no kids. So, I have to ask what is controversial about saying that a young girl needs guidance in the form of parenting when it comes to the boys she sees? I don’t really know what age is appropriate for girls to start dating, but that is another issue.

I have a younger sister and she did NOT run around at any age. If she had my parents definitely would have put a stop to it. And some young dude might have gotten a beat-down. That’s just the way it was. My parents were not even strict disciplinarians, some things were just understood. It shouldn’t be any different in the BC.

My other issue is the murder of a precious innocent life. You can’t just say the murder was applauded on some anonymous blog. What blog? Whose blog? If this is true, I don’t doubt your word, someone or some people need to be investigated for accessory to murder. Don’t you think?

Anonymous said...

But we who've taken the time to really look into this horror, know that bw are on the tail end of this violence and hatred far, far, FAR more than any other women (esp. white women) So this is not to take from anyone, and I certainly do not wish any woman to be hurt or maimed by violence, but my primary concern here is to save as many bw as I can. And most of the hatred and violence coming at bw is coming from men who look just like them.(You can easily research this)

You are absolutely correct Sarah. Statistics support this. Black women are 35% more likely than white women to be the victims of intimate partner violence while black men are 62% more likely to be the victims of intimate partner violence than white men. The violence within black relationships must be addressed head on and must stop even if that involves black women simply leaving black men alone and seeking out other races.

http://new.abanet.org/domesticviolence/Pages/Statistics.aspx

Taylor-Sara said...

So sorry to hear about the young lady shot putting her baby in the car. Ladies those of you infused with the need to disect this problem and find solutions, should do so later. What bw need to do now is GET OUT!

Bella Donna said...

AK: somebody should have tracked down the names and account of those two so-and-so's on that blog who were encouraging and telling the man to kill Asia or hurt her, and celebrating it.


Bella: You are right. Technically they should be charged with conspiracy to murder.

Anonymous said...

Hello, I am Queen KT, and I wanted you (and your readers) to know that there is a blk. community that "Left" America to go and provide a better blk. community elsewhere. They are the Afrikan Hebrews and while some are still here in America, they made a home for themselves in Israel. I think they have a few bi-racial members, and possibly wht.(Jewish) members too. Their health is very good since they are vegans. Check out their website for more info:
http://africanhebrewisraelitesofjerusalem.com/our_leadership.htm

One of their videos:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nmWuMIB_Bdc

Nicole Little said...

Hi, everybody. Here's my latest post from my blog about how children are affected by the poisonous racist beauty standards.

http://blackwomenselflove.blogspot.com/2010/12/children-and-their-view-of-beauty.html

Anonymous said...

Black women are 35% more likely than white women to be the victims of intimate partner violence while black men are 62% more likely to be the victims of intimate partner violence than white men.

62% and 35% is a big difference. Why are are black men so much more the victims of partner abuse relative to white men than black women are relative to white women? Have there been any studies to explain this?

Nicole Little said...

Hi, I'm here to show you my new post that I made for today about how black people are convincing black women that they are the least desirable to all men.


http://blackwomenselflove.blogspot.com/2010/12/why-are-black-peopletrying-so-hard-to.html

Anonymous said...

This is QueenT again.
I guess my last comment about an example of a "good" BC was not good enough to post. Maybe what I have to say next will be:
Leaving the BC is NOT guaranteed that your son/daughter will not fall victim to the wrong crowd. I know from experience of attending public schools that even in a nice community/suburbs, as long as the DBRs can "find" your child/children, there is a chance that they will become a victim.
That happend in a county not far from where I live. An 18 yr old college-bound boy lost his life at a house party that got out of hand.
Also I lost a friend to drug-use, NOT by DBRs in the BC, but by "Others"! The grass is not always greener on the other side.

Taylor-Sara said...

Hi Anon. or Queen T.... or whatever you choose to go by. First of all I don't delete ppl unless they are obscene, or are blatantly trying to derail the convo. I did not delete you. I don't know what post you are referring to. I do remember posting something along the lines of what you've just said. So maybe you passed your own post and did nto see it. Anyway I would like to address your latter comment.

First of all. THERE ARE NO GUARRANTEES IN LIFE! None of us expect them, and we all understand that leaving the hood will not guarrantee a great life, but staying sure will increase the chances of having a screwed up life, as well as screwed up children. That's like saying studying is no guarrantee of getting into a good school/college. Well I can almost guarrantee NOT STUDYING will certainly suffice to keep you out of a good school as well as many other opportunities. To me it's silly to say this won't guarrantee this or that. We all know that but is that an excuse to wallow in the cesspool that the average "Hood" has become? We also are all aware that there are damaged ppl outside the hood, however the large population of damaged souls inside the hood far outpaces and outpopulates them. I really don't see your point. Not smoking is not a guarrantee of NOT getting cancer. But my beloved God-mother just passed of cancer at the age of 84 (non-smoker) now if she had been a smoker how much sooner do you think we would have lost her?

Anonymous said...

The post was not "deleted" it was never posted. It was about this group of people:
http://africanhebrewisraelitesofjerusalem.com/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_African_Hebrew_Israelites_of_Jerusalem

no further comment....

Anonymous said...

To Sara:

You and your family have my condolence.

Anonymous said...

I know that you mean well, but I still see a little stereotyping there.

I don't care where this fool lived what on his mind was on his mind an din this case, he tragically expressed his anger on his girl.What if that same guy would have came from lets say an upper-class neighborhood,would you have still implied that he was a hoodrat?

Do you know how many people who never grow up in the 'hood and still get abused and killed by their boyfriends/husbands? I never grew up in the 'hood,but my mom have taught me that being a hoodrat isn't where you live, but it's your mentality of life. I've met just as many hoodrats in the best neighborhoods as I have good people who lived in projects.

I'll be careful in describing people and/or their homes. Some of the nations senators, lawyers, teachers, doctors, and civil rights came from the very place that you're vilifying this young man being from. You can't judge a person from where live, you judge them by them.

Anonymous said...

QueenT here:
Just for the record, I want to say what happend to the young girl in this post was sad. I do not plan on posting again, so on another note, I hope you have a wonderful new year.

Taylor-Sara said...

Last Anon.
(who could not be bothered to even pick a name) I think I've said explicitly(and won't bother saying again) that many good ppl live in the hood. I think I've also made it clear that (I BELIEVE) that it is also one of the worst places to find a husband. If you believe that many good men are there, then by all means go get one! See how fast you find yourself dealing with all the issues of the women from *Colored girls* I never once indicated that men outside the hood could not be damaged, they most certainly can, but as I have said more than once, you greatly increase your chances of a damaged men by shopping at a damaged men mall ie (THE HOOD) So you do you. I'm only here to talk to those who have the foresight to understand what I'm saying anyway. In other words,like Evia says- take what you can use and discard the rest...This argument is rather ridiculous to me because it's just so self-evident. It's like fishing in a polluted pond and wondering why the fish is bad! Lord have mercy!... I have to go...

Mia. said...

Thank you so, so much for this post. I'm a freshman in college, and I often get flack from fellow people of colors because I don't conform to the standard-- dating IR, hating rap and listening to alternative rock, refusing ethnocentrism, dressing "emo" have all brought negative responses my way.

I think, in seeing the bullies I had to fight off and the looks I get, my fourteen year old sister has gone the opposite direction. She is 14, and drawn to the ghetto like a moth to the flame. My parents and I are struggling to make her see that such a lifestyle-- and the horny knee-grows she keeps messing with-- are below her. For pete's sake, we've lived in a mostly white suburb all our lives. Hopefully this post helps her see.

Nicole Little said...

Here's my new post about the death of Teena Marie. I'm still emotional about this. It's been three days since her death, and I'm still mourning.


http://blackwomenselflove.blogspot.com/2010/12/rip-teena-marie-march-5-1956-december.html

Anonymous said...

What a shame indeed.. Theese young black women getting theese thugs to knock them up with children and impose violence on them. It makesit impossible to see that there a a whole lot of men that would appreciate a bw. We as bw need to see that we deserve to be in loving non violent relationships. BW are desired by men of other races regardless skin hue and hair texture. BW are dating out alot when I visted the border states I was in complete shock as well as the eastern coastlines! It is the southern bw who are putting up with this "thug love" because they are stuck in the southern colorism that has been placed among them because there is a lack of liber white men in the south than other parts. Well, white men and men of other races are crazy over black women in the other regions especially the The places I have visited in Co, Cali, Ok, Mi and etc. The black women that they date are darkskinned despited what the bm say . the lightest I have seen with a white men are brown around Meagan good and Gabrielle Union. I lived in Alabama for five years and had no luck with men period. Moved to mid west and white men and latino men were on me like swarms. I never heard O’ you are pretty for a dark skin girl” or O you just look like Gabrielle Union, Or O she look okay. So stay in Southern Republicanism and Black Colorism. I was told I resemble Gabrille Union but that got me into my second marriage and I am only 26!!! My first husband was Russian Italian and my second husband is blond blue eyed that southern white women would trample me over to get to!!! I got tired of being on the wall at clubs and a bridesmaid at white women’s wedding and never the bride. Or a darkie to a black man. Date out Move out or DIE OUT Men of other races love beautiful healthy dark skin black women don’t be fooled by television or ww or racist wm or bm

D. Halston said...

Sarah. I agree that the hood is the worst place to find a spouse. Any woman or man looking for a spouse in the hood is in for a rude awakening. The ghetto mentality is just too common there and too many of the individuals there are of damaged mentalities.

Anonymous said...

My black father met with my sister today, mind you he divorced my black mom, and step mom. He is now married to an asian women. Anyhow he met with my sister to basically degrade her life and tell her he doesn't want to be in it anymore, as if he ever was. My husband is white and I learned that those who you think you can count on, you can't always. Just because someone shares your same skin color doesn't make them family or even concerned. All that my husband has ever did was try to make me better. Despite what I have experienced from my father I don't see all black men as enemies, I just see that as a black women I am on my own.Yes I have been called all kinds of names for being with my husband but I don't care because if I was alone they people would be laughing about that. You can't win. Over time black women will see, some will still be in denial tho.

Anonymous said...

Great post. Thank goodness my mother was smart. She raised my brother and I alone with no financial or emotional support from my father (it figures). She would rather rent out a basement of a house in a safe, clean, racially diverse middle class neighborhood than live in low-income housing. As a result, my brother and I were kept from the trash, stayed out of trouble and went to better schools. More single black mothers should do just that--rent out basements of houses in better neighborhoods. Your rent will be cheaper, you'll be helping out someone who is struggling with their mortgage (preventing yet another foreclosure), and above all, your children will be safer and exposed to endless possibilities to live a positive life.

keisha said...

Excellent post. I just emailed you.
Kay

Anonymous said...

i am one of those hood baby mama's. i did not get that way trough messing around with hood men. simply put husband didn't want me any longer, i got up smack the hurt off my face and moved to the hood. but since then i have dated some one from the streets and had another child. i can honestly say that you did a beautiful think for your daughter. being in this situation i would not wish this on y worst enemy. i mother tried to warn me i was the girl that did not listen. so i find it the most beautiful gift from a mother and a father to guide thier beautiful daughter down the right path.