How to save your daughters from the boys in the hood....

lovely college student killed for her refusal to date a damaged man

We've all seen it. The young girls dragging strollers as they trudge along in the hood. Looking scared,and desperate, or sometimes trying to put on the mean face to discourage would be combatants. We've all seen the desperation on the faces of young women trying to hold on financially or spiritually as these predators get their fill and move on to more promising targets. It's horrible but it's a sad fact of life. The truth is palpable, but ppl who are NOT going anywhere are out to drag you and yours down with them.

So how do you protect your children?

To me this is pretty obvious. You should not be there! Don't let your children hang in the hood. Severely limit their time even passing through, and definitely discourage their friendships with ppl who would be described as hood- identified.

Now first I need to put in a disclaimer because I do not wish to be mis-quoted.

There are a lot of good ppl in the hood without question, I am in no way disputing this obvious fact. But I feel it is an equally obvious fact that the worst place in the world for any young woman to look for a husband is in the hood or other black enclaves. The men in these places (MOST) are low skilled, deviant, angry over forces beyond their control. Most have been conditioned to hang on the streets, indulge in activities which exceed the bounds of legality in order to get funds, or use women in multiple ways in order to augment their paltry incomes or satisfy Their sexual and non sexual needs...Most of these men are very detrimental to the naive women they become involved with, and sometimes the results are even deadly as many of these men are involved with illegal activities and dangerous characters which are then visited upon the women involved.

I strongly believe one of the worst things people can do is to allow their daughters COMPLETE freedom as a young girl to date indiscriminately anyone she chooses. I know this will be a very controversial subject and I certainly empathise with the passion this line of belief will undoubtedly raise. But young girls are quite vulnerable, and naive. And they must be encouraged, educated, protect ed, and steered to a better class of men! They cannot be allowed to simply bring home the first fool who winks at them. They must be guided and made to see that dating and marrying the wrong man can influence and negatively affect them and their offspring for the rest of their lives. I'm sorry some of you are pulling out your hair right now in anger, but someone has to say it. Most of the boys in the hood are NOT husband material and most never will be. I just want to post a few scenarios to explain why I know this to be true, and then we can discuss it en mass....

I know someone who has young teens whom she fought arduously to remove from the hood, but problems had already surfaced before she could get out.....

She had fought hard to get herself and her children out of the hood, but her daughter had fallen for some gang member before they left. She immediately had to contend with her daughter sneaking back at (16) to see this 20-something year old thug. He encouraged her daughter to lie to her, and to sneak off as often as she could. I advised her to take her daughter deep into the old neighborhood. Show her how those women and girls really lived. Rip off the veneer of glamour and reveal the real ugly truth behind ghetto life. Show her the baby daddies who run off and leave those women struggling alone. Show her the little children trying to get themselves off to school because mom is already at a job she's struggling to keep, and cannot take them. Show them the loss of hope, and utter despair that permeates these type of environments.

I told her to show the despair and pain behind gang-affiliated life styles and the wake of bodies left behind. Sometimes scaring a child straight can be a very effective deterent.

I remember being a child in Hawaii. We were in class one day and our teacher showed us a film on drug use. I remember being totally horrified by the lifestyle portrayed by the film. People were shooting up, having bleeped out sex scenes with strangers throwing up in the streets and more... I immediately associated drug use with losers and lower forms of life in my young mind. This one film kept me from ever even smoking a joint all these years. I could not conceive of being addicted to any substance, and therefore was unwilling to even try any of them. To this day, I have never tried any drug, not even cigarettes. This is the power of scaring a child straight. So many girls do not know where they are headed as they travel full speed toward a cliff! You must let them know. My associate did not take my advice. She thought I was overreacting and that her daughter would come to her senses. Her daughter is now pregnant by a loser who is the father of 3 other children and is now incarcerated. Her daughter has dropped out of HS, and thrown away all of her youthful dreams, as her baby-daddy told her they were silly and for white girls. She also is being hunted by one of his other baby mamas as he told baby mama #2 she had seduced him to get pregnant...

She has tried to talk to her daughter about leaving him alone but she is a now a fool in love, and will not listen. This is what happens when you allow the bc to get into your child. Ladies you must do EVERYTHING within your power to keep this scenario from happening. These girls are throwing their lives away! You all know about my young cousin and how she was kicked out of one man's bed because he had another young girl coming to the same UNCHANGED bed with the SAME condom and SAME sheets. Well that same cousin is now the mother of 3 children by 3 different men. She just gave birth again last week. None of the fathers will step up, she is mired in poverty and desperation, and is one of the saddest young women you have ever seen. I tried to talk to her for years but she always told me to mind my business, and could do as she pleased. Well I guess she certainly has done as she pleased. The saddest thing is her story is SOOOOO common in the hood. She has two friends who both have babies by the same guy. They constantly fight each other for his crumbs of attention. He does not take care of theirs or his other children and encourages them to fight over him.... sad but common...

I can only tell you ladies what we did. When my very young teen was trying to date a ne'er to do well boy from the hood(where much of my family still lives) We made life very hard for her. We forbid almost every date on some technical reason. We imposed unreasonable time limits. We made it clear he was not welcome anywhere near the house and we increased her chores so she would not be able to go. Was that fair? I don't know. I was fighting for my daughter and did not really give a damn about fair. We just did not want him anywhere near her, and we made it very clear. It was not long before she got tired of fighting us and began dating someone far more suitable....

So I would love to hear your stories ladies and your take on this situation for all the mothers who do not want their daughters to be left behind baby mommas and sexual toilets to the damaged predators out there....