I feel so sorry for many young bw. So many of you are waiting for the bc to give you permission to look for the love you deserve from men who would love to love you.
I don't understand why so many bw don't seem to notice that while many bm will move heaven and earth to stop you from having relationships with wm (regardless of character)-those very same bm are busy chasing any white girl they can get their hands on.
Do bw really think it's a coincidence that every time you turn on a tv, there's a bm smiling happily beside a wg? Now don't get me wrong. I am NOT suggesting you go get a wm to get even with bm, I am suggesting you go for the men WHO WANT YOU! It's just so silly to go for men who do not have the capacity to see how special you are. How does that benefit you? It really doesn't. You young bw MUST learn to look out for #1. And that's you. I see young bw everyday who have a GLs, and GM- garbage lives and garbage men, because they did not KNOW what they wanted. If you do not know what you want in life-how in the world do you ever expect to get it?
It all starts with Goals. What do you want in life? What kind of home do you want?
Do you want children? A career? A business? I cannot stress enough how important it is to know what you want. But it's also extremely imperative that you know what you DO NOT want!
I have a young cousin I've mentioned before, who is now barely 21, and pregnant with baby number 3 by a third bm who has refused to take care of his child (Nor will the other 2) She lives with her mother, and works a dead end job downtown. Her children have almost no creature comforts and she would not have even had baby clothes, had we not bought them for her. Yet, she still cannot get it through her simple head that she needs to change her ways, and leave these sorry men alone. She constantly chases one bm after another. They use her and go on about their business. I never know whether to feel sorry for her, or just write her off. She just makes such ridiculous choices, that I cannot fathom why anyone would behave so stupidly.
The truth is that bw have got to wake up and smell the coffee. So many of you are still engaged in make believe nonsense-that you cannot discern reality anymore! For your own sake-LISTEN to what these men are saying-for God's sake! If a man is primarily concerned with getting you into bed, then that is where his intentions toward you lie. If he has children that he does not take care of, then any children you are stupid enough to have by him, will also go without care! If he has ex-girl friends who are terrified of him, or have been beaten and abused by him, who do you think his next victim will be? Stop being stuck on stupid-open up your eyes, and run from men who are clearly out to use and abuse you! I don't understand how so many women will run from wm because the bc will tell that wm only use bw, and will never marry them. Look up the stats of bm marrying bw these days and you'll be shocked. Over 80% of black children are now being born out of wedlock!!!! Does it look like bm are marrying their baby-mothers to you?
We are at a crisis point, and we need to stop lying to young women. And you young ladies need to stop listening to the garbage the bc would have you digest, and trust your own eyes. Here are some of the most prominent lies being told to young bw.
1. There are plenty of good bm, you just need to look harder!
This is bull. There are almost 2 million more bw in this country than bm! Even if bm were not color struck, were upstanding citizens, and were interested in marrying the numerous bw, they impregnate every year. There still would NOT be enough of these men to marry the many many bw looking for husbands.
2. If bw would just act right bm would not leave them for ww!
The truth is that YOU ARE ENOUGH! And if you are not enough for a man then you are simply NOT what that man is looking for! It's ridiculous to turn yourself inside out trying to be what you cannot be. You can only be you, but that's always good enough....
3. If bw didn't have such attitudes, they wouldn't be alone.
No, if bw would simply stop chasing men who don't want them, and ALLOWED themselves to be caught by men who DO want them, they would not be alone!
4. Black women are not attracted to white men!
That's a lie! There are many, many bw who are very attracted to wm, yet they are secretly waiting for the bc to give them permission to be with one. This is NEVER going to happen! I DON'T THINK MOST BM WANT BW, BUT THEY SURE AS HELL DON'T WANT WM TO HAVE THEM!!!
The lies go on and on, I'm sure you can think of many more, but the bottom line is that bw must wake up and move on! You don't owe anyone your loyalty except yourself! You have nothing to prove to the bc, and you must live your own life, and do what 's best for yourself......
But to elaborate on one last point. remember in the 'something new' movie. She was self-conscious and uncomfortable upon finding out that her date was white. She began to move through the crowd, giving compliments to strangers, and trying to mitigate the wrath she obviously felt was coming her way. He sensed her discomfort and grew uneasy. He knew she was worrying about how the bp around them would react. This is a classic example of a bw who is trying to look for approval from the bc before she pursues a relationship that would definitely be in her best interest.
No bw is going to get this permission! BW are too needed in the bc. They will NEVER voluntarily let us go. The trick is to make it clear that you are working in YOUR OWN best interest, and no one's elses. You deserve the best in life, and don't ever let anyone tell you different. There are plenty of men who would love to be with you, but you must lift your heads up into the light to see them......