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Friday, August 21, 2009

The impact of more and more WM showing an open attraction for BW!!


Some very prominent white men are letting their love/ attraction for their black mates/wives be known, this is becoming increasingly common.....


Many people wonder what will happen when wm and bw come together in numbers too large to ever ignore . As more and more wm show their attraction for bw, many ppl still bury their heads in the sand, and pretend it is not happening. This is amazing to me.
It's also amazing to me how many wm openly pursue bw, yet many bw still think wm only want them for sex! I find this incredible, because it's mainly bm telling bw this. Yet, we can all see that sex is predominantly a bm's reason for pursuing ANY woman. But especially bw! The OOW rate for bw is over 70% with the vast majority of those babies belonging to black men! So does it look like they were pursuing these women to marry them? Do you think these women WANTED to be single mothers and struggle alone?
Ladies, learn to reason and think for yourselves. If wm only want you for sex, and marriage is not a consideration, then first of all bw/wm marriages would not be undergoing a 170% increase. They are actually growing faster than any other IR union! And second of all, if that were the primary and singular point in their pursuit, then ask yourself, why would black men care!!! Seems to me they wouldn't. After all that's what they themselves have been using bw for for decades. And they never warn bw against other bm, who are 'using them' . Yet they constantly break their necks to warn bw against wm 'using them'. Lets apply a little logic here.

They are certainly not warning bw out of any legitimized 'concern' for these women. For we've all seen them leave bw out there hanging, time and again. We've seen them harass bw, trying to walk down the street. Call bw filthy names for daring to ignore them. We've seen them refuse to call the police or intervene when bw were being attacked. Even watch and laugh as their fellow brothers used, lied to, manipulated, and hurt bw, and I've even seen them laugh at the poor fatherless, suffering children who resulted from the mother's involvement with these man-boys. But the minute a wm steps to a bw, then they want to rush in, and warn her!!! Give me a break-does anyone else see the writing on the wall?
They are not operating from an altruistic, compassionate, legitimate concern. They are acting on their worst fears. Secretly, they know That WM DO want bw!! They see the tide turning, and it's unfathomable to them. The same women they've been calling nappy-headed, ugly, fat, gross, dark-butt, and a host of other demeaning terms, are being snatched up, and adored by wm, who think these women are marriage-worthy and beautiful. Sometimes I almost feel sorry for bm. It must be sooooo exhausting to carry the yoke of self hatred around with you day in and day out. And it must be so confusing to be so programmed and weak that racist whites can tell you that your female counterparts are ugly, and you accept, and embrace it. You don't even have the inner convictions, and fortitude to judge for yourself. You simply accept what some racist, with a hidden agenda, has told you. How sad is that?

I previously told you all about how in Kailua Intermediate (Hawaii) I was in the class with a bb bully named Andre. His mom was Hawaiian, and his father was black. I'll never forget how he tortured us black girls because he despised blackness so much. Since I was dark brown, I caught much of his venom, but one girl caught the most because she was jet black. But the thing is, I could see right through him. He looked at us, and saw HIMSELF!!! He hated himself, and that's why he raged at us. He hated that his mom was married to a black man. It was obvious, he desperately wished she'd married a white one. As much as I hated him, I pitied him even more.
I knew he was miserable in his own skin! I remember he made life unbearable us bg's until a new boy named Loafie came to class. He was big, handsome Samoan boy, and he thought bgs were beautiful. He fell hard for the jet black girl, and when Andre called her a nappy headed, jungle bunny. It was on. Loafie beat him so bad, he was out a week, and when he returned, he never said another word to any of us.... But my point is, do you know the other bbs in the class (3) had never said a word the whole time!!! Many times the jet black girl had gone home crying, and they had never said a word.......

This goes on into adulthood as well. Many bw think wm cannot possibly find them attractive because they have been told that they are too black, and the only ppl who can be considered attractive when they are too black, is bm. This is bull. There is no such thing as too black, first of all. Skin is beautiful in ALL shades! Apparently alot of wm agree with me. I have noticed that many wm seem to gravitate toward darker bw. In HS, many wb's told me how lovely they thought I was. Which was weird when you consider how many bb's told me: "You're pretty for a dark girl" or " "you'd be prettier if you weren't so dark". Luckily for me, I came from a family that thinks dark skin is gorgeous, so my self esteem was intact, and I always knew I was hearing the voice of self hatred in these young men. Therefore, I discounted everything they said, and focused on simply loving me. It's so sad that some bw who reside in the bc, will never be told that they are pretty ESP. If they are dark, with less than Euro features. Trust me, I've lived amongst whites for the vast majority of my life, and many, many wm find bw appealing. But as more and more wm show an attraction for bw, I think it will become increasingly obvious to bw that they have been sold a false bill of goods by bm. I think bw will realize that they are, and were ALWAYS attractive, and that they do NOT have to put up with the mess, they've been putting up with for so long. Not by bm, or bm -protectors. I think the impact will be more and more women jumping ship, and swimming away as fast as their worn and weary legs will carry them. I think the impact will be other wm realizing that bw are finally opening the ports to love in all forms, and 'snatching up' these women with a gusto. I think the impact will be many more biracial children, and ppl won't automatically say to these children: "So, your mommy's white, and your daddy's black huh?" I think the impact will be many more sistas with ear to ear smiles and a rested PEACEFUL look on their faces. I think the impact will be more and more bw feeling free not to over-press, and over-perm their hair to get the 'look' that bm deem acceptable. I think the impact will be more and more bw refusing to be the mammy mule any longer, and demanding ALL men either show and prove they are worthy, or leave. I think the impact will be bm finally losing their 'kickstand' and being forced to stand on their own two feet, and black women who finally know excitement, appreciation, joy-unabashed, love, and marriage. The simple love of a husband coming home, seeing you tired, and offering to go get Chinese food. Or looking over, and seeing your blond husband happily doing your baby's hair-and watching her smile up at her daddy. Or the car breaking down, and being able to pick up the damn phone and say: "Honey, come get us, the car broke down!' So many sistas have no idea how good life can be when you have a good man to share it with. Not a parasite, who's sponging off of you, and sucking the life out of you, and depending on you to do everything for him. But a real man to lighten the load. Someone who can give you the freedom to be a WOMAN- because he has taken the responsibility of being a MAN!! I think the impact of wm showing their attraction for bw can only lead to better and better things for bw and children all around the land...........

157 comments:

Anonymous said...

is the guy in the last pic leonardo di caprio?

Pisces Bae said...

Excellent post! I couldn't agree more!

"Someone who can give you the freedom to be a WOMAN- because he has taken the responsibility of being a MAN!!"

Amen to that!

I have a similar theory of what will happen if more black women start opening their eyes to non-black men as black men continue to monopolize non-white women. Black men will start to become "accustom" to these women as they have to black women. They will begin to notice their "nagging", their "striving for independence", their "trying to be the man in the relationship" and they will begin to leave these women more readily (bm/ww marriages already have the highest divorce rates of ir marriages).

Pisces Bae said...

They will begin to dedicate youtube channels and radio shows and talk show episodes to how "horrible" non-black women are and use us as examples of what a woman should be. Countless more non-black women will be left out of wed lock with brown children, not understanding why their simple comb doesn't go easily through the child's hair. There's will be a new generation of biracial children with self hatred and identity issues because they only know one side of the heritage. Black men will try to get back to us, but by then it'll be too late and black women will be able to smell their mess from a mile away.

Pisces Bae said...

Ultimately the static will flip and it'll be 70% of black men single, with scores of angry non-black women knocking down their doors for child support while their non-black co-workers bring their children into the office for take your daughter to work day. Maybe then they'll realize they're not the be all end all of men.

Felicia said...

This was a FANTASTIC post Taylor-Sara!

YES, BW can have EVERYTHING positive you've mentioned. The choice is theirs.

But BW can't serve two masters. They can't try to please and placate the "bc'" and DBRBM AND care for their own self-interests as FREE women willing and able to love men of their choosing regardless of "race".

Because a BW who looks after herself FIRST AND FOREMOST and chooses the BEST man regardless of "race" is considered - and will always be considered - a THREAT to BM and the so-called "bc".

Black women who intend on thriving and marrying well, must choose who's best for them - and their future children - IN SPITE of what BM and the "bc" thinks.

It doesn't matter what "they" think. They're not God. Therefor their opinion doesn't matter.

Being a "good BW' simply isn't going to cut it.

Because good upwardly mobile, professional, kind, attractive, intelligent, and indoctrinated "community" supporting (even though said community is not supporting her back) BW are increasingly dying ALONE, SINGLE, and CHILDLESS.

For NOTHING.

BW interested in getting the ring, husband, children, nice house, comfortable lifestyle, etc... The whole 9 yards, are going to have to be "rabble-rousers".

Mavericks.

Again, GREAT essay Taylor-Sara.

Much love to you and yours.

Unknown said...

Sara,
Thanks so much for this excellent, encouraging post. As ANTI-BW RACIST/HATERS step up their attacks on BW, we need to be reminded that MORE WM/NON-BM are GAINING the COURAGE to OPENLY show their attraction to BW for SERIOUS DATING and MARRIAGE.

Taylor-Sara said...

To Anon. Yes, the guy in the 3rd pic is LD. Not sure if she's his date or his gf, but they kissed and hugged repeatedly the entire game....

Faith at Acts of Faith Blog said...

This was encouraging. Not serving two masters is the key. Black women either serve themselves or the other. It's time to put themselves first for a change and stop blocking their blessings.

Skypurple15 said...

this is aka sky...

on point sara! I love this post! Im seeing more and more wm defending and declaring their love/appreciation of bw. And since opening up my dating pool as of Jan. 09 I've seen a whole new world of dating and flirting,lol. It's been great to be dating MEN not overgrown boys.

Lena said...

I agree and I wish not only white men but other non-black men would show their attraction to black women.
I certainly believe men are more apt to step up to the plate when you demand that any man proves he's worthy of you.

I agree with kicking sorry pathetic men to the curb!
Nope Lena is too cute and too smart to be anybody's mule!

Anonymous said...

I agree w/ Skypurple17. Since reading your and like minded blogs, I've realized that I have more dating options than bm. This had opened up my pool of possible suitors. I think as we see more famous black women and famous white men in irr, this will encourage more sistas to date non bm.

Melissa said...

I am a black women who dates interracially and I came across your blog on accident. But to me the tone of your blog comes off kind of desperate. Like you get excited by any white male attention. Like it validates you. It actually kind of pitiful. It also seems like you are hostile towards black men and you try to make them feel guilty for not loving black women or dark skin women. I wish you just cut it out. You starting to make black women who date interracially look desperate for white men. I mean come on you guys got a stupid movement going? Seriously. Who does stuff like that? Do you have any self esteem? Because women with self esteem don't need a seminar to learn how to date white men. They just do it. I was a supporter but now I can't take any of you seriously. You are not genuinely into white men you just need to feel validated by them because you feel rejected by black men. Making black feel guilty is not going to make them or white men want you. By the way, that Leo pic is like two years old and that was his costar not gf. But you are looking for more validation I guess.

Anonymous said...

A white guy was beaten by 12 Black men for dating a Black woman:

http://www.wivb.com/dpp/news/family_speaks_out_on_severe_beating_090820

SMH!!!!

Taylor-Sara said...

Melissa, I'm glad you came by. Now my readers can see that fools come in all colors and genders.
First of all, I think you, are lying about who you are, but regardless, you better be glad I stopped cursing in accordance with my beloved child's wishes. Because honey, I would have cursed you out! If you have read my blog at all for any length of time, then you would know: The last thing on earth I want is for black men to come back! Bm have already shown themselves to be unworthy and unmarriageble in most cases. And I would NEVER want them to come back-no rational woman would want that. Second, the one who sounds desparate is YOU-MAMMY! Breaking your neck to defend men who are using, harrassing, belittling, and hurting bw! I'm not trying to make bm feel a damn thing-I'M NOT EVEN TALKING TO THEM- DUMBASS! This is a bw's board!! And that is who I address my posts to. Does it make sense to you that I would be talking to bm on an IR board for BW! I do NOT write to or for bm. And I do not give a damn how they feel about anything! As for the seminar-what the hell does that have to do with MY blog fool- I didn't create it! And if those women want to go to a seminar to find a better quality mate-who the hell are you to try to stop them! Any rational woman knows you do whatever you have to do, to secure a good life for you and your progeny. Only women who don't know better dig in the gutter and 'settle' for what most bm are bringing to the table. Sorry honey, but your attempts at manipulation are falling on deaf ears-so drag your mammified ass back where you came from and tell the brothas, that she saw right through you!...And don't come back here mammy-we don't have much time to talk to fools....
And BTW, that is NOT from two yrs ago-thats a recent photo.

Anonymous said...

The Leo photo was taken in the South of France where he is at the moment shooting a movie. Agree with you Sara on all points. Keep doing what you are doing. I love this blog. Oh by the way a girlfriend and I was in Italy two weeks ago and they really love the black girls over there. Ladies please travel if you can, you will be surprise at the amount of attention( the good kind) you get.

Rebecca said...

Sara did you see this?

http://www.buffalonews.com/cityregion/story/769298.html?page=2#comment

A WM was severely beaten by a black gang on Tuesday for dating a black girl. Allegedly the guy was approached by the gang a week earlier and threatened "not to mess with our girls."

Completely disgusting.

lisa said...

Sara, She sounds like an idiot! What's desparate about asking what the impact is going to be as more and more wm show their attraction for bw! What makes the post desparate-the fact that bw are not supposed to ever put their self interests first? She/he sounds like a typical troll. Trying to throw the discussion off course and enrage ppl. Sara, I think a better idea is to simply delete these fools, and keep stepping. And for her to say you want a bm- just because you tell it like it is-wow! If we call bm on their color stuck ways-we're trying to incite guilt because we secretly want a bm _even if that's the last thing we want._ If we remain silent and suffer-we got what we deserve. If we show other bw how to escape the titanic- we really want these sorry negroes back, and are secretly begging for them in code language! These people are delusional. Oh, and if we talk about how more sistas are finding love with wm, don't forget yall-then we're desparate for attention! Except they come here and bother us, but we're desparate for attention-yeah right! Free your mind sistas and run from the Ikes, and the Ikettes..

Anonymous said...

Melissa,


You need to go somewhere and sit down. Just crawl back into your hole and don't come out again until your allotted time during the witching hour on Halloween when you can get back on your post scaring little children.

I know you didn't read the blog or else your wouldn't have posted that rambling hot mess you think is a comment - forcing people such as myself to suffer migraines from the sheer stupidity of it all.


Sara is married. Your still "dating" - who's desperate?


"Like you get excited by any white male attention. Like it validates you."


Most heterosexual women enjoy respectful, admiring male attention - that is why they go to the lengths they do to make themselves attractive. If that affirmation of their femininity comes from White men or other non black men - so what?


"You starting to make black women who date interracially look desperate for white men. "


You are totally off your rocker. Before you go back to the bat cave take your meds first. I always thought that mentally ill people who suffer from delusions think interesting things about themselves such as they are the messiah or they are secret agents who receive messages from the CIA through their TV antennas, but in your case you think that one woman, Sara, has total mind control over millions of people in American society. Wow.


All things equal most hetero men like women who give clear signals that they are into them.


Bet that flew over your head.


Is the potential competition too much for you? Shux, are you scared "dey gone run outta all de good white mens fo' you git yourns?" You do what it do, but steady giving the side eye to other BW doing the same? Now that IS pitiful. Why you pouring salt on some other woman's game - virtual c@#kblocking and ery-thang? LOL


"It also seems like you are hostile towards black men and you try to make them feel guilty for not loving black women or dark skin women."

Bwahahahahaha!

So!

No one is obligated to be any type of way to BM. Who cares how they feel. BM can kick rocks. So can you. If anything the DBRBM cretins should be ashamed of the damage they have done to BW and children, but it takes a conscience to do that.


And why you all swole like Dwayne Johnson, body guarding/defending a group of grown BM who can and should be handling business for themselves?

"Because women with self esteem don't need a seminar to learn how to date white men."


Where did that come from??? This is why you should not drink, on top of your meds, and respond to blogs at the same time. Do you even know who you are responding to? Do you know where you are? What's today's date? Who's the current president?


"I was a supporter but now I can't take any of you seriously."

The feeling is mutual I am sure. And yet you took the time to write this garbage and hit publish.


"You are not genuinely into white men you just need to feel validated by them because you feel rejected by black men. Making black feel guilty is not going to make them or white men want you."



Girl you can do better than that. Now I can clearly see the delusions of grandeur shining through. Where did you get your predictive powers? Miss Cleo? Dionne? Kenny Kingston? Tell me whats gonna happen to me next week? Will I ever win the lottery? Whats really going on in Iraq? Or do you just use your special powers for matters of romance?


No one here wants BM. That is why the site title has interracial in it.


Um so what if BW who were rejected by BM seek WM for validation and affirmation? And?? And??


Melissa I'll tell you what you can do. I want to offer you some advice and this is from my heart to yours: run at full speed into the nearest wall in your home FACE FIRST.


Keep decoding those antenna messages K? :)

Anonymous said...

Soulsister I wish I was like you in some ways. I got a lot of damage from BM and it is hard to work through.

Taylor-Sara said...

Thank you Anon!
They've been up in arms about that seminar since it happened, and they found out it was a big success. I've even heard through the grapevine, they plan to disrupt all future events, but we're to believe they don't care what bw do! Actions speak much louder than words....

Anonymous said...

"I've even heard through the grapevine, they plan to disrupt all future events"

SMDH

Gab said...

I love those pictures of Leo with that pretty bw. I wonder how ww are taking it--probably not well.

Taylor-Sara said...

That's so sad about the guy beaten up for dating the bg. These monsters will do anything to stop bw from escaping.....

Zabeth said...

With regard to the seminar- if these people really didn’t care what BW did they’d stop talking about it. Further if holding a IR dating seminar were so pathetic and just an example of how desperate BW are than that logic would have to apply to ALL women (and even some men) wouldn’t it? I mean think about there is an entire industry devoted to books, magazines, films, classes, and seminars to help people with dating and relationships. So if desperation was really the case than I’d infer that ALL women of ALL ethnicities are pretty pathetic and desparate. LOL! What they’re trying to do is quite obvious- shame BW back into their place.

I’ve also heard that some of these Ike Turners and internet trolls do intend to attend and sabotage other seminars in other cities. That’s a threat that I wouldn’t ignore or not take seriously.

Anonymous said...

"Melissa" sounds a LOT like Brotha Who Can't who was put in his place a while back.

How pathetic that this thing, (male, female, or whatever it is) is still trolling these boards that were not designed for it.

If this thing is a female, it needs to take it's mammified, bootlicking, lapdog, DBRBM identified self OUTA here on the double. And go tell her master mission NOT accomplished.

If this thing is male, it likewise doesn't belong here.

There should be armed security (ready to use those arms if necessary) at these future seminars that need to be spreading across this nation like wildfire.

IeshaDressesCute said...

I love those pictures of Leo with that pretty bw. I wonder how ww are taking it--probably not well.

******

I know what a shame. Oh well, at least they still have OJ Simpson and Ice-T! :p

Taylor-Sara said...

Anon. we are NOT assuming that all wm are good. Where did that come from?........

Welcome said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

lol...Last night I was at a department store buying a backpack when a bm came down the aisle and he stopped near me and looked around as if he was looking for something and then he walked a few feet past me. A few seconds later the bm's ww came down the same aisle and stopped where the bm had been standing. I think she said something to him; but, I did not hear a reply. So, the ww just turned around and walked away and the bm seeing he was not getting the attention he thought he would get from me soon followed.

I could see with my peripheral vision the ww looking at him and then looking at me. I thought to myself I have nothing to do with your man I only want a backpack...he is all yours.

A.

Anonymous said...

@ Sara...that annon. is Melissa. I believe Melissa is a non-bw and really who cares about the Melissas of the world...no one.

Bw are wising up and this train can not be stopped. Also, at that same dept. store were two wm/bw couples. This one young bw looked very satisfied with her choice of men.

A.

Steph said...

As much as people want to deny the fact, YES white men ARE opening up to BW. I've been asked out during my high school years 3 times...all of them to white guys (2 italian bambinos and 1 irish lad LOL) and I doubt this would have happened 20 or even 10 years ago. The only thing BW have to do is be OPEN and white men will respond in kind. I was kind of shocked when I read some articles about BW having trouble dating. I was thinking, "I'm not that gorgeous..why would these beautiful girls have problems finding a date?"

And then I realize that the men who asked me out were white. It was kind of shocking to realize, actually, LOL. I've always just seen them as men. But I'm not complaining because I am simply not romantically attracted to BM.

In the future, and the number of BW/WM relationships increase, I can see a little bit of ugliness coming forth from both black and white racists. But I also see more BW who open themselves not only to different races of men, but also to other "not black" things. Heck, I might even start seeing some sistas on the slopes when I go skiing in the winter with my friends, LOL. I already see more black women attending musicals and plays. This is a Renaissance period for BW and I'm happy to be part of it.

And everyone, please ignore "Melissa" (or should I say "Melvin")..this is OBVIOUSLY not a black woman. Even if it was a black woman, s/he definitely does NOT support interracial relationships. Notice how his/her comment is only about bashing the blog instead of showing genuine support for interracial relationships. Also, the comment that she left was also on the website that the picture came from left by a damaged negro telling BW that it was an old picture and even suggesting that she was a fan that he was being nice to. LMBO! Well, he sure is giving that "fan" a lot of affection, LOL!

Come on, you trolls. You really are getting boring and predictable. If you are going to harass people, at least do it in a slightly interesting way so I could be ENTERTAINED while I'm laughing at you. It's the least you can do after expending all that energy.

Park Avenue said...

Before I bought a car, I rode public transportation & one day while @ the bus stop,I had a casual conversation with a white guy. This was during the summer & I joked with him about all of us getting a great summer tan.

Anyway, the guy tells me he's from a part of Italy were the people can get extremely dark. Then he says to me, and I quote, "Black skin is the most beautiful skin in the world. Don't let anyone EVER tell you any different."

of course I didn't need him to tell me that...I already knew it, but the comment was much appreciated & I've never forgotten it.

Sara, as always, you're giving BW timely & progressive information & proof that BW are STILL wanted, loved & adored. Thanks for all you do!

India said...

Excellent post! Sara. You've done it again. I wish more and more bw (like my co-worker) would read your posts.
She is a "baby mama", who lets her boyfriend get away with everything. One day at work he called her at 8am (returning her call), and she proceed to argue with him asking him where he has been, because she was waiting up for him the night before to come home from work. Keep in mind, I can't hear what he is saying, but I can make it out, because I can hear her respond. Anyway, she started to say "well, if your car broke down and your friend came and got you, then why didn't you call me and let me know".
She then said, "well, if your phone died, you should have asked your friend, can I use the phone to call my girl" (am I the only one who finds that suspicious),

BUT right after she asked him that question, she started to giggle like a school girl, and then she said (while giggling), Stop, I'm suppose to be mad at you (I'm guessing he sweet talked her). Her relationship with him is just sad.

"There's will be a new generation of biracial children with self hatred and identity issues because they only know one side of the heritage. Black men will try to get back to us, but by then it'll be too late and black women will be able to smell their mess from a mile away."

Fii, I agree with all your comments 100%. I've also thought about there being a generation of biracial children (by bm) with identity issues. You're on point with that comment. I've talked to my mother about that a few times, because I've seen it happen.

Taylor-Sara said...

Wow, Carib girl.
It's sad when women are already unwed mothers and STILL don't wise up! At some point you have to use commonsense and stop playing the fool. It's so obvious he's lying. He was probably laid up all night with some other woman, laughing to himself about the lies he planned to tell your friend the following day. As long as women choose to play stupid, there will always be plenty of men more than happy to cast them in the role, to which they've been aspiring...

Taylor-Sara said...

Yes, sweetsoulsis,
I wondered if it was a bm too, when she/he started ranting about the seminar. What did that have to do with me? And why would they care? They keep saying they don't care what bw do. Yet, they follow us bloggers around the net trying to discredit us, They make youtube videos telling wm/nonbm that bw are no good, They plan to crash IR functions, and they beat up wm who have blk gfs. All the while claiming they don't care what bw do!!! Like I said ladies, actions speak louder than words....

Ann C. said...

Sara,

A wonderful and on-point blog as usual. You are absolutely correct. WM are coming out in DROVES to step up to sistas. I remember, even a few years ago, when WM would be looking/staring at a BW, then when she notices it, he would put his head down or turn it. Not no more (LOL)! They are looking, smiling, and starting conversations with sistas about anything! And that goes for non-BM as well. As I have said before, I am seeing more and more BW with non-BM all the time now which means that some BW are wising up.

As for BM and their feelings, who cares? That's not my problem.

Peace and Blessings,
Ann C.

Mia said...

Sarah My name is Chamire from florida , i am a beautiful sista. I just wanted to let u know i love your blog. I have sent your blog to all my college friends and we love it. I am a 26 year old and just so tired of black men , i constantly have to defend us sister on a daily basis. But let me tell u something we are strong beautiful barbarians that will succeed. A Nova University their are so many sisters that are graduating with master degree or higher , which means a brother dont mean a damn thing. All of us has come together and realize black men are weak , Sarah no lie every sister i have talk to on campus says they dont even look a black men anymore. Its 2009 its our time to shine. I am currently dating a asian guy which part irish ,he adores me. H e loves my kinky curly hair my brown skin ,just all my beautiful curvy assets, he says we are unique. Let tell you what makes a non black men differant from a brother they look at features not how straight your hair is, not how dark you are but just your uniqueness and they love it. When we go out omg you should see the look on black men and white women faces, because i am black, beautiful and have a sexy as asian/irish guy that adores me. I want all my black beautiful sisters to open their eyes and look in the mirror and see they are unique and beautiful. I also like to say at my school their are alot of sisters dating non black men and we love it. I will continue to pass your blog along and i support you sis. Stay strong because we are truly beautiful black barbarians .

Khadija said...

@Aphrodite: You said, "Where did that come from??? This is why you should not drink, on top of your meds, and respond to blogs at the same time. Do you even know who you are responding to? Do you know where you are? What's today's date? Who's the current president?"

@SweetSoulSister: You said, "Melissa's name is really Tyrone. That drivel was so very obviously written by a negro male. I'm sending lots of LOL's Tyrone's way. I guess Melissa is his drag queen name since so many of them love to be on the DL and they also like to dress up as women."

{loud gales of laughter}

Ladies, I had to de-lurk for those 2 comments. It was just too funny! Thank you both for providing today's belly laughs. {still chuckling}

Anyhoo, the hysteria that the virtual cross-dressing Internet Ike Turners are displaying about the "Free Your Mind" conference is confirmation of what many free BW have been saying all along:

The tide is turning, and more AA women are waking up and wising up. [Praise God!]

Peace, blessings and solidarity.

mia said...

Amarie , i did not mean it in that way.I meant we are strong .
Anyway Sarah i love your blog.

mia said...

Amarie , i am black women. I love Sarah blog. Just ask me dont assume . I support Sarah in promoting interracial dating. Anyway Sarah I will pass your blog to others.

mia said...

There are many definition for barbarian. I do not mean it in that way at all. I am a black women incan across many definition Amarie.I Sarah blog and i should have been a little clear on that word. Anyway Sarah keep up the good work.

Taylor-Sara said...

Mia hon.
I'm sure you did not mean it that way, and I thank you for your support. But you know hon, barbarian has such a neg. connotation, that if I were you, I would choose another word to express your thoughts, you know what I mean....

Anonymous said...

I think Melissa is a Black man. It is so obvious.


Mia, is English your first language?

Anonymous said...

I wonder how ww are taking it--probably not well.


Who cares how they're taking it? Lol! Forget them and let's just celebrate Black women's beauty and desirability being acknowledged!

Anonymous said...

I just found this article in my (internet) travels that really breaks it down as to why bw interested in irr enjoy/relish attention from wm.--or any non-bm, really. Here's the link (just a warning, the author's language gets a little "coarse" at times, but she's trying to make a point):
http://dir.salon.com/story/mwt/feature/2005/07/30/gender_crashers/index.html

But I'll go ahead and summarize/add my own opinion on the matter....ALL (straight) women want to be seen as sexually desirable to most ALL men. It doesn't matter if she isn't even single or even looking for a partner in her life at the moment.--It's not about that. The need some of us bw feel to be seen as desirable and marrigable by wm doesn't stem from supposed "self hate" or "desperation." It comes merely from the biological drive all women feel to "floss," so to speak. For many women, it's not about actually getting the guy, only about knowing that you can. Face it: a woman likes to feel pretty and soft and delicate and like she has the power to make any man go weak in his knees with a simple glance, a flick of her her hair...a purse (a purse..like Angelina Jolie...not a smack!) of her lips, etc. Why? Because there is power in this ability and who doesn't want power? Also, because it makes one feel good, in a very visceral way, to know that she is liked, wanted.

When did it become that bw should be made to feel inferior or damaged (by other bw no less!) for wanting these things, as well?--for wanting a privalege that seemingly every other race of women has been afforded for centuries? Why is it wrong for bw and bw only to want to feel feminine and magic?

This is seen as perfectly natural for females of other races. No one laments them for it, but when a bw attempts to do it, suddenly she must have massive self-esteem and self-hate problems??? How does that work? I don't hate my self and I certainly don't live to make men like me (far from that, let me tell you! TRUST.), but... you know what? Yeah, I want men to think I'm sexy. And that I'm lovely and a lady and a potential wifey and someone who can be cherished. Is that horribly vain? Well, yes of course it is.--it's supposed to be. I believe that a certain degree of vanity is acceptable in the mating game, just so long as it doesn't obscure what's really important in finding a mate. Decorating your home is also avainity, should that practice be abandoned as well?--like all those little black children by their black daddies(yeah, I went there)? My point is this: some vainities are not really vainities, but rather the spices of life. (If you have trouble discerning between the two, then I recommend soul searching.) And, I, for one, want to enjoy all those spices while I still can. I don't want to become one of the many lonely black women out there because I was too scared to embrace my feminity by calling on my strength to leave the so-called "bc" behind to find a man willing to appreaciate it in all it's glory. But hey, that just how I feel...In fact, I hope lonely, scared, confused black women become a thing of the past from all the sistahs liberating themselves from the heavy chains of history, hate, and our past mistakes.

And I want the people who keep on insisting that bw who openly express joy in increasing their appeal to wm/non-bm will just please, at long last, give it a rest! Because they really just have no idea what their talking about, especially so far as it concerns *this* young black woman and her interest in non-bm... Ignorance truly is a disease and those haters have it with the chronic.

I realize that not everyone will agree with my opinions and that of the author, but I feel like the woman makes extremely valid points in her article and speaks a lot of truth. I found the article a most pleasant and helpful read and I hope others will, too. :)

Anonymous said...

Just figured what felt off about my post...

*vanity (vanities), not "vainity (vainities)." Sorry, it's too early for me, folks. :)

kmblue's other profile said...

I feel you with this post...

As my eyes have been opened to the fact that I'm not the only BW interested in IR, I've noticed a lot more IR couples, especially in my church (there are BM/WW are in the majority but there are more BW/non-black man now, more so BW/AM and BW/WW). And I've noticed that non-black men are approaching me more outright instead of just staring.

Right now, I'm single b/c I've come out of a situation and I need to regroup and focus on me before I get into a relationship but I have faith that when it's time, the man for me will be around and will appreciate what a woman that I am and will become and give me that freedom I need to exercise that.

P said...

Someone who can give you the freedom to be a WOMAN- because he has taken the responsibility of being a MAN!!
***********


Sara excellent statement made.
This is the reason why I date out. The freedom to BE a woman.

Oh btw this is Phantom Mare.

http://thealliancesaga.blogspot.com

Welcome said...

Yesterday I saw a bw/wm couple with their two biracial sons. I am seeing more and more families here in TX

Anonymous said...

Thank you SweetSoulSister.


@ Khadija - these people are such a trip. LOL I guess the seminar really pushed some buttons.

Mia, I get the jist of what you are saying, but I agree with choosing different words. I think that in light of the "strong Black woman/mule" stereotype that many BW live and die under - it is important to leave that behind in deed and language as we forge ahead.



@ Anon at 9:20. I get the vanity and feeling attractive. I have never been ignored like the OP was by White or other NB men, but a lot of my damage from BM deal with this. I had no idea how bad it was until I started trying to date other men. I know that some anxiety is normal, but many times I am always worrying/thinking/obsessing over stuff and I never know when something i.e. anxiety, inhibition, rigidity, neurosis, whatever is going to pop up.

Lorraine said...

Thanks Sara for being the voice of the dark skinned sisters who have suffered in silence for years. The BWE blogs are helping them profoundly. Keep up the excellent work and excellent post!

Anonymous said...

@Cool Splash...I am surprise there aren't more wm/bw couples in Texas.

A.

Taylor-Sara said...

Anon. I lived in Tx for 5 yrs. There are PLENTY of wm/bw couples. Especially around the military bases...

Anonymous said...

@Sara...that is what i figured.

A.

DineBoo said...

Cool_splash and Anon, I tell you that there are lots of BW/WM couples in the greater Austin area. Austin has the "weird" vibe, and not like other places in Texas. Couples like BW/WM or BW/Non WM (like me and my hubby, an Native American) thrive here. I strongly encourage sisters that live in Texas to check out Austin for its interracial scene.

Sara, congrats on your beautiful baby! My hubby and I are expecting our first children (twins!) in a few months, your news was awesome to hear. Congrats again!

-DineBoo

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad I've never been a part of the black community and that kind of indoctination never touched my life. I never realized how deep all of this was until I started reading these blogs because I literally stayed away from black people because I didn't like the pathologies that all of them seemed to support. I started reading the blogs not because I needed to but because I wanted to seek out and connect with like-minded black women. I don't have any black friends (except my cousins) at all and it's because 90% are mentally enslaved. I've been saying this unpopular stuff for my entire life and been shunned by literally every single black person outside of my family.
---------------------------------
OMG you sound just like me.
oh by the way great blog sara

S said...

oh yeah, and it took 12 black guys to beat up this ONE white guy...yeah they're sooo manly - manly my ass! that's why they're always in gangs because they can't defend and protect themselves, they have to be in a big group and fight with knifes and guns! so pathetic! what woman would want this for their partner!? i'm so disgusted.

lol, btw i was watching some discovery channel program, and there is this man who goes out in nature kind of like a crocodile dundee (but a much finer, younger handsome-er version) and he was in this rain forrest and was going to be out there for a week on his own and we watched as he strangled an alligator with his bare hands, knew how to make a bed out of grass,and knew what foods was poisioness and what was ok to eat, OMG he even knew how to make a damn boat out of plain trees LOL needless to say i was in LOVE!! lol i can't remember the name of the guy but he was english or australian or something like that lol, i said to myself that THIS is what MAN is, this is a man that could protect you from serious danger and if you were stranded on an island THIS is the MAN you would want to be stranded with. good god lol i was in heaven for 45 minutes he was so handsome!
I was thinking what dbr negroe would know how to protect me from an aligator and know about knotts and animals and how to protect himself like this....you know as well as me that negro would run and leave you behind to save his own ass lol.
I have only seen non black men learn about things like this.
Also a reason why i like non black guys because i have always seen non black men as more masculine - always.

And what also attracted me to this fine young man lol was that he wasn't wearing any protective gear or anything, he was wearing plain clothes. kind of like indiana jones - and he looked sharp, i don't care how stupid some people think it is for guys to risk their lives like this, clearly he knew what he was doing and i would rather have a guy taking chances and risk his life to protect himself and create adventures than a useless couch potato who doesn't want to do anything with his life.

S said...

http://dsc.discovery.com/fansites/manvswild/manvswild.html

I found him! lol, i think he is really handsome and i will be watching more discovery channel from now on lol

Taylor-Sara said...

Your right S.
Alot of young girls are giving out their number and going out with these dbr people because they are afraid. They are hearing the stories of bw who didn't make it home because they tried to ignore these predators with their paper-thin egos. All my cousin's best friend did that got her beautiful face slashed, was say something that fool found offensive.

He sided up to my cousin and her bff at a late night chicken place. Both girls were very pretty and light-skinned. He said to her bff:
"I loves me some light skinded girls"
The bff was instantly turned off. My cousin said he smelled of cheap whiskey, and he was right in her face. So her bff says: "who cares what you like" and turned away. He became enraged, and began to call her all kinds of b*tches and hoes. Then the other bm began to egg him on, and he attacked my cousin's bff. He and another animal punched her with razers between their fingers! Her beautiful face is ruined all because she made it clear she was not interested. Ladies, be careful what you say to these fools, esp. if you are alone. You know these cowards love to attack women....

And I love that pic too......

The Language of Letting Go said...

Sara,
Please keep doing what you do.

I'm one of the women who fell hook, line & sinker for the bull of WM only wanting BW for sex. I allowed my fears to keep me away from who I have always been attracted to. One day I went on line and met a WM who made me feel so alive and so treasured. The relationship did not workout, but I still ventured out and I feel wonderful for having taken that step. I am in my 40's now and with a something to hold on to (ample curves), but my eyes are open and I still believe that the right man for me is out there, and I happen to believe that his skin color is lighter then mine, and I love it.

To all of those who have an issue with me because I have an attraction to men of a different race...... Get Over Your Self, what makes you think your opinion matters to anyone other then you and people like you? Let me be very clear - I like people who like me, if that is not you, FINE-- Now you have a wonderful day and get the hell and find some business of your own.

Yolanda

Anonymous said...

Sara, you've hit it out of the ballpark yet again (and broken windows to boot *lol*)!

@Aphrodite: dang, you too?! You're one step ahead of me, of course, but I'm crawling/clawing my way out. I had to dig deep in my past and just went dang. Speaking of which...Carib.girl: man, if I wasn't so obsessed with getting myself and my daughter out of the hood, I'd be on the next thing smokin' to shake your coworker awake! geez. I'd say she's making *me* look bad, but I've woken up now; all signs point to her (and her ilk) possibly being too far gone. We gotta leave some folks behind on our way to better lives and the seminars *smile*. (ahhh, I can smell the husband/new daddy's cologne now...lmao.)

S said...

That's horrible sara!
When you hear stories like this it just makes you so frustrated and even though i don't live in the "hood" or anywhere remotely dangerous, i still carry peppar spray because when you live in a big city you WILL run into these fools sooner or later and i WILL be ready for them!
They get angry because they think they own us which to me is mind boggling because i have always been tought that i belong solely to myself and no man has any right to "own " me or to think they own me.
Ugh, why do they think fetishing skin shade is some how a compliment? I am by no means what people consider light skinned, i guess i am somewhere in the middle and a black guy comes up to me and the first thing to come off his mouth is "you have that nice colour", i guess i passed the black guys papper bag test but i felt disgusted and removed myself from him asap!

I guess this is where i am a little biased because to me when a black guy comments on my skin tone it just feels wrong...idk, it just feels like it's some sick self hating going on on his part but when a non black guy comments on my skin tone...it just feels different, like it's genuin and not some freaky fetish thing.
Like he genuinly appreciates my colour and finds it beautiful, even during the summer when i naturally become darker (suddenly i get no compliments about my colour from black guys, wonder why ::sarcasm::).

Anyways, not to stray too much from the topic, i find that it's always the whitest looking white person who are very keen on going ir with BW and always the least looking white person aka "the hitler syndrom" people who have a problem with it.

That's what i've noticed anyhow. just a lil' observation ;)
BTW, what's up with polish guys now a days? I have had atleast 4 different polish guys wanting to date me for the past month and i was surprised, i thought polish guys were a little bit like russians when it comes to ir dating with BW....in other words not very open.

Frank M. said...

Yes, we(WM)are VERY attracted to bw (especially darker women), but what can we do about this if we can't even walk down the street with you??? You think we don't know that bm are insecure AND violent? I think for most of us, it's just not worth it.

The bc in general has shown way too much support for violently reacting to whatever causes them displeasure. Some even think it's "funny" when people get assaulted.

If someone accidently steps on your shoes in the bc, it's high time for a beatdown, all in the name of "keeping it real". This attitude is unfortunately the predominant one that white america sees and until that changes I think you'll see most wm staying away no matter how sexy or intelligent the bw appears to be.

The few that choose to date bw are putting themselves at risk. Even if they live in a nice mixed area, what do they do when traveling? Staying away from racist rednecks or heavily populated black areas your entire life will not be easy. Always having to be careful not to show affection in public to placate fragile egos would also be incredibly tiresome.

That kid in Buffalo sitting in a hospital is probably going to reconsider his dating choices in the future. I'm not saying this is right or this is fair, but unfortunately it's reality.

Your post asks us to show our attraction towards bw. I think I speak for most wm when I say...why bother?

I know you will come back at me with your theory of "You're letting the terrorists win", etc. All I can say is yes, that's true, I agree with you. But when it comes to dealing with the opposite sex, it is not worth my personal safety or the stress of being on high alert all the time due to potentially dangerous males looking to attack me. There are enough crazies running around the streets as it is without me putting a bulls eye on my back, which is exactly what dating a bw would do for me...

gweely said...

Hi Sara,

I think your sight is so refreshingly wonderful! Your baby is precious.

I've been going around the blogosphere, reading about the horrific stoning of the young white man who simply wanted to love an AA woman. I think this is so scary. It sounds like the taliban. Of course, no comments from the so-called black leaders. I guess they probably think this couple deserves this tragedy for daring to love each other. I guess only the AA man can walk around the bc with any color of woman he desires without worrying about any repercussions. But the black woman beware. The taliban all over. This is intolerable.

Best,
Celeste

Anonymous said...

wow..."S" Aug.24th 6:59...calm down. Not all bm are evil, relax.Bitter much...

Welcome said...

Cool_splash and Anon, I tell you that there are lots of BW/WM couples in the greater Austin area. Austin has the "weird" vibe, and not like other places in Texas.

Yep. That's because we are supposed to keep it weird here. One of my moms friends is married to a man from Sweden. Cute guy tall as hell. They are both shy met online.

Just going to the State Fair in Dallas I saw BW-IR couples left and right. My cousin (who lives in Dallas with her hubby)is also in an irr. They are going to hair their second child. She has mostly had an attraction like me to non black men. We just were careful saying it in front of the black people we were around. Her first child is from an IRR.

I am back in ACC so I am trying to get back out there again. Plus I have my Production 2 orientation today.

Anonymous said...

I think Frank is really a bm saying he's white.

Steph said...

Please go away, anon @ 3:25. So WHAT if S is stating her opinions of BM. Who the heck cares??? Is she right in her assumption, then, that BM are not really men but childish boys with fragile egos that can't even take a little bit of heat? That exposing BM behavior that isn't ideal the way BM have on numerous talk shows and radio shows about black women ("they too fat" "they always be wearin weave" "they too ghetto" and the infamous "i don't do dark butts") will utterly crush them and make them sink even lower? I hope you aren't holding out a vial waiting to collect our tears of sympathy, hon, because I'm sure you will come up a bit dry.

Anonymous said...

@ S,

That's my "other" Boo, Bear Grylls. I make him brush his teeth before he comes home from work LOL.

Frank M. said...

"Anonymous said...
I think Frank is really a bm saying he's white."

WRONG. I know many of you are paranoid about bm, but why would I describe them or their community in such a pathetic and negative way if I was one? That makes no sense. Just because the message is not what you want to hear doesn't mean it comes from someone (read: bm) with an agenda.

I've always supported IR relationships, I just think that for me, it's not worth it. I'm not trying to discourage anyone, just pointing out that showing interest in bw has no real effect if you can't see yourself in a long-term relationship with the person. And it's not because of anything wrong with bw, it's simply due to potential harrassment and/or assaults.

And let's be honest...the dbrbm coming to hate on this site are not that intelligent or articulate. They are not even clever enough to plan to discourage wm/bw relationships in this manner. You are overestimating them...the average dbrbm post will be about one sentence long with some random babble such as the last anon who said "bitter much?"

Intelligent BM don't care about this issue...I wouldn't look for too many posts from them.

Jazine said...

Frank, you have the right to feel the way you do. If you feel getting romantically involved with a bw is not worth it, by all means date women that will not arouse negative attention. We all have to do what makes us happy and comfortable. However, a lot of wm do not share you views. In fact, more and more wm are getting involved with bw. I'm in a great relationship with a wm who a lot of people would consider nerdy. He's handsome and a nerd to boot. My ideal man! I love intelligent and talented men. He has both, plus he's charismatic. All of this is to say that he is hardly a tough guy, yet he looks out for me and protects me in tangible ways that goes beyond what a ruff neck could do. He isn't letting dbrbm dictate who he can date. He has dated a bw before and has experienced being bothered in the past, but he doesn't let it stop him. Everyone has different degrees of comfort.

What is truly keeping wm at bay from entering an IR w/bw is bw's attitude toward wm. This has more of a damaging effect than any dbrbm could do. There are bw/wm couples that do get harassed by bm. I'm not denying that, (nor am I making light of what happened to the young wm that was viciously attacked), but I don't think that harassment is the main culprit why wm are gun shy from getting involved with bw. The dramatic increase of IR marriages between the two groups are proof of that.

BTW - S, you're telling the truth about a lot of bm! I always say the truth hurts!

Jasmine said...

I don't mean to be rude... but I really don't understand why Frank M. is even here.

Okay, so you don't want to date bw because you feel it might adversely affect your personal safety. It seems a little cowardly to me, but that's your right. But why are you trying to make this point here? I'm just not getting it.

Lena said...

Those thugs who beat up the white guy for dating a black girl are monsters. I'm sure those same black guys who had a problem with her dating a white guy would sooner date a white girl than her. Hypocrites the lot of them!

I hope the young man in question is okay. He didn't deserve to be beaten within an inch of his life for having a black girlfriend.

I hope the creeps responsible spend the rest of their lives behind bars!

Amarie said...

Frank, if your not interested in dating black women, then why are you here? You said you were not trying to discourage anyone, but that's exactly what you're doing. If you think pursuing black women isn't worth your time, then please by all means leave and don't return. This is a place for BW AND NON-Black men who WANT to date interracially. That's why this blog is titled Interracial love and spice by SARA. Did you not see the work Interracial?

Amarie said...

Another thing Frank, to be a white guy you know a lot about black men.HMMMMMM

Taylor-Sara said...

Well, I was going to tell Frank pretty much the same as you ladies did, after I put my baby to sleep. I concur 100%. If you don't date bw, and don't plan to, than there is really no reason for you to be here. But before I send you packing Frank, let me ask you a question. Alot of bm are jealous of the wealth of wm, and the lifestyles of wm. If a bm threatened to beat you down because you made over a certain dollar amt per year, -are you going to deliberately make less? And if a bm told you that he didn't want you living in beautiful home, are you going to then live in a dump? Because these things are also likely to incite envy and ill will amongst dbrbm. A man does not let others dictate HIS LIFE! And I don't think any sista here, is looking for that easily intimidated type of man anyway. So the ladies are right. Not too many bw are looking for guys like you regardless. And I resent the use of the word paranoid in the context of bm. We are not paranoid. We simply know what they are capable of, and deep their damage can go. Your entire post paints you in a very pompous, cowardly, and neg. light. Basically, I wish you well, and I'd like to point out that there are many, many other blogs to choose from. But I do not think this one is a fit for you....

GoldenAh said...

Frank M. is a "well meaning" troll.

There are enough stories about missing and horribly murdered blonds (even entire families) in the evening news. Would this ever translate into men running around saying: My wife or gf cannot be a blond, because it is dangerous. I might get killed too!

Also, a man with a hot wife, regardless of race, could find himself at odds with other men. Will you only date ugly women just to be safe?

I've never met a "white" or Asian like Frank M. I've been fortunate. No matter how odd, how short, younger or older, I've never dated a guy who acted like being with me was a life threatening "hassle." They've been protective, fearless and quite frankly more willing to step-up than I. I'm the mild-mannered, quiet one.

Frank M., I hereby award you "punk of the day." You've earned it, buddy.

Sean said...

I am a WM who has dated Black women all of my adult life. Yes, I've experienced the harassment while living in Baltimore City. You know what? That NEVER,NEVER EVER stopped me. If I had, I would have never met my beautiful, precious wife. I would have been selling MYSELF out!

Anonymous said...

@ Frank, We understand where you are coming from; however, the same way ww/bm couples persevere will be the same way wm/bw couples will persevere.

There is a program on CBS named,
"There Goes the Neighborhood" and there is a ww/bm couple(the Upshaws) and their two children and they are considered part of the "in" family on the block. In other words they appear to have very little to no racial problems.
I do not think either Upshaws care what wm or bw think of them as a ir couple.

Just like the Upshaws there will be many wm/bw and bw/non-bm couples who will do just as well in their shared lives.


A.

Unknown said...

Steph,

Are you still in high school?!?
Maybe I should find a more age appropriate blog.

I'm just kidding. But as someone who was in HS more than 10 years ago, I can attest that some wm were asking black girls out even back then. I was one of them. At that time I was more afraid of rejection so I checked a girl out thoroughly before approaching. Now that I am older, I don't have that problem (fear of rejection). I also don't have a lot of time so I just go for it.

However, luckily for us all, we can now be more open. I agree that this is a renaissance. Hopefully the next generation will not have the problems we have today. Let’s pray for Brian.

Aphrodite,

I have been reading your comments for so long, that I feel as if I know you. What ever you do, don't worry about random posters like "Melissa." His/her/its opinions are worth as much as you pay for them. But you know what? Based on this

"You are not genuinely into white men you just need to feel validated by them because you feel rejected by black men. Making black feel guilty is not going to make them or white men want you."

and a few other things, I think Melissa is a white girl. I could be wrong. It's just a guess.

Some ww don't like bw with wm just because it makes the ww feel less special.
That’s just the way it is so let’s let it go.

Mia,
Your self-description sounds good to me.
About the word “barbarian,” everybody is a barbarian to somebody. The original meaning is outsider. I am personally glad to be outside of some circles.


To everybody from Upstate NY and vicinity,
Please write to your local papers to express horror and outrage at the beating of Brian Milligan Jr. Let his family know that they are supported by the IR community. And please pray for his full recovery.


Peace

Anonymous said...

@Rainebeaux


"@Aphrodite: dang, you too?! You're one step ahead of me, of course, but I'm crawling/clawing my way out. I had to dig deep in my past and just went dang."


Unfortunately yes. I am trying too. :) The thing is - I didn't think that it had affected me as deeply as it did - I am just realizing it and how it has altered my thinking/interacting.

The BM I had dealt with really had a way of objectifying me and reducing me to a collection of chopped body parts. I felt like I was always being weighed, measured, and judged with regards to my body type, skin, hair, features etc

And although that is not currently happening it has become an automatic trigger for me when dealing with men.

And it started waaay back - like grammar school and just recently ended when I reached adulthood.

I just love having piles of crap to sift through and heal from! LOL

Anonymous said...

I didn't quite know what to make of Frank. I mean I can get that he may choose not to, but why the parade about it?

Jazine said...

Don't let Frank's comments take away from Sara's brilliant post. Despite the opposition, which include men like Frank, Sarah is right-we are going full steam ahead for the better!

Steph said...

@ Jerry: No, I'm not still in high school, LOL. So, don't worry, we're all legal here (I think, LOL).

Todd said...

I'm from the midwest and I must say this is all a bit of a surprise to me. We have a decent amount of ww and bm combinations but very few of the reverse. i'm in my early twenties, I don't know if that makes a difference, but the bw at my school are all about black men. It's pretty damn hard to even get a girl to acknowledge a white guy. I guess racial solidarity is much stronger here? Anyway, interesting site!

Clarice said...

Love the post Sara - got off to a slow start responding this time. As more WM begin to date more BW and more BW experience a healthy happy reciprocal relationship - there are gonna be a lot more happy people. One other change is that more people on a collective level are going, unlike Frank who is cowering in fear, to recognize the harassment and criminal activity as in the post about the couple that was attacked is in fact a hate crime and demand that the legal system treat it as such. Hate crimes are racially based attacks and the justice system has failed to treat these crimes as such especially when a DBR member of the BC attacks a WOC. The message will increasingly and firmly sent that DBR anti-social, sociopath/psychopathic behavior is NOT acceptable and will not be tolerated. The vermin of society will be put down with a firmness and a quickness as yet to be seen. This return to common sense and common decency among people will be most welcome as it is long overdue.

V/r

Clarice

Anonymous said...

@ Todd...Sara's blog is about opening up young bw's mind to other options. I would suggest be a friend first and then move to the next level.

A.

ak said...

Hi Sara thanks for this post; this was good.

Frank M. said...

To those who would question why I am here: Because I thought the topic was interesting, and I enjoy playing devil's advocate and seeing how people think. This IS a blog right? Open discussion? I have dated all shades in the past, so this is not new territory for me. And LOL @ those who would suggest I'm easily intimidated. Trust me when I tell you, most bm would not want to fight me 1 on 1 (6'1, 225). I grew up with many dbrbm (bused in to my suburban area), and they rarely fought fairly. When it's a 3 or more guys, or there is a weapon involved, or they sucker punch you from behind, all the courage in the world isn't going to help you, as you can see with the man in Buffalo.

Regarding your "question" Taylor. You are making a false comparison. I date women for companionship and sex. I can have these with ANY other race of woman. Wealth is not comparable as it is a source until itself. Wealth INCREASES my odds of survival and personal safety, not the other way around. You brought up the envy of dbrbm when it comes to lifestyle. I think bm are USED to dealing with this feeling , but they can easily rationalize it away to the years of institutionalized racism in this country. However, seeing a wm take one of "their" women away is a relatively new feeling, and there is no quick and easy way for them to dismiss the inevitable feeling of inadequecy and resentment it produces. Their egos can only take so much. BW/WM unions are just the kind of thing that push them over the edge. In the same way that racist white males are outwardly cordial with bm until one is dating their daughter. America is already uptight about sex as it is. Add race to the mix and now it looks like the ultimate sin to those who are not ready to see it...

Anyway, if all of what you girls are saying is true (that "real" men wouldn't be scared to date BW and they don't let others control their lives), then my post really isn't discouraging anyone at all; Because those men have already made up their minds. It's one of two things: Either they don't believe the threat is real (meaning they don't believe they will be attacked) or they believe that dating YOU is worth ANYTHING they deal with as a consequence. Not only do I NOT discourage them, I say good for them!


@goldenah

Dating good looking women has never put me "at odds" with other men. This comparison doesn't make any sense to me. Comparing race to looks? Umm ok. In my experience, men act in response to the way the WOMAN carries herself, I'm not going to "defend" her if she brings drama onto herself. Thanks for making me the punk of the day though! I'm ALSO broke, gay, short, ugly, small penis, etc....

Do you feel better now? =)

@aphrodite

My "parade" was an attempt to explain why some WM do not show their affection for BW, which I believe was the initial topic. She mentioned alot of things in the post about looks and name calling, and I was arguing that it has nothing to do with looks or lack of attraction. It simply had to do with not being able to see a future in a relationship. I'm telling you what most wm won't. Maybe you can appreciate it on some level, but judging from the response, it doesn't look that way. LOL

Ok all, have a nice day. OUT!

Lynn said...

There are many real men out here that will step to a black woman if they find her desirable and want to date and wed her. All these pictures that Sara has on her blog proves just that! Frank just happens to not be one of those men. But honestly ladies, would we really want a "man" like Frank? I know I wouldn't.

And for someone who's SO SCARED and "doesn't want the hassle" to be with a black woman, why are you on this site? To "help us out" with your unscientific inforamtion? Please. Move on and try to rain on someone else's parade. I wonder if you have this same type of attitude in life in general? I feel sorry for you Frank. I really do. Seems like you are stuck behind some serious mental walls. But enough about you, Frank, bye now...go 'head on.

But as for the rest of us...let's just keep living our lives to the fullest!!!

Lynn said...

And Frank you said the initial topic was "why some WM do not show their affection for BW". No, it was not. The topic was the "Impact of More and More WM showing an open attraction for BW".

Sara was letting us know that WM are showing their interest in BW more and more and the myths that initially bound us to BM are slowly but surely being torn down.

Please understand I'm not upset about what you said I just believe you are wrong in your thinking. You are trying to apply your thinking to the majority of WM and that's just not so...again, if you look at the pictures that Sara has on her blog you can CLEARLY see that's not so...

Welcome said...

I didn't quite know what to make of Frank. I mean I can get that he may choose not to, but why the parade about it?

I think Franky maybe the same guy who made it sound like black women are lucky wm even date them because of the hassles they have to go throw while dating bw. SMH Anyways his comments sound the as as the other comment.

If Frank here wants to see some real hassles become a bw no become a woman in general

Welcome said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Lovebug said...

Frank, I understand that you don't think interracial dating its worth it. Fine. Why are you on this site?

I think can speak for everyone when I say no one here cares for your negative perspective. You obviously don't know this, but this blog provides and focuses on a positive perspective of interracial dating. That's why I and many other black women visit this blog as an oasis or respite from all the negative views on interracial dating particularly as it relates to black women.

IN OTHER WORDS, WE COME HERE TO GET AWAY FROM PEOPLE LIKE YOU ! ! !
SO DO YOURSELF A FAVOR AND GO WHERE PEOPLE CARE ABOUT YOUR THOUGHTS AND WANT TO INTERACT WITH YOU. IF YOU CONTINUE TO FORCE YOURSELF ON PEOPLE WHO DO NOT WANT TO INTERACT WITH YOU, THAT IS HARASSMENT! ! !

GoldenAh said...

>>Frank M. said...
>>Do you feel better now? =)

I call it as I see it. A good start would be for you to get over yourself: you aren't special.

Your writing style is that of an IIT and a dbr male. You offered up a low ball sneaky insult to black women, while pretending to give us a perspective of how you, millions of white men, and dbrbm, think and feel.

There are white men not interested in black women. End of speculation. Who cares? That dog won't hunt. I sincerely hope that that expression didn't go over your head.

Creatures such as yourself aren't welcome, so you need to go find that easy coochie from these other races of women, since they are so much less of a "hassle." Oh yeah, and they might be drama free too! Wow, doesn't that sexist / racist taunt seem familiar?

So yes, you are a "concern troll", and a "punk of the day."

Taylor-Sara said...

I apologize ladies, my baby was fussing, so I put the comments through without monitoring. Otherwise frankie never would have made it in. But don't worry, He won't again. Frankie, your underhanded insults did NOT go unnoticed. I'm sure you think a bunch of bw would hang on your every word, but you are mistaken. Here, we think for ourselves, and use our own best judgement, and intuition. Like my intuition has been telling me that you are here under false pretenses and mean us no good. As for your nasty comment hon. Let me tell you something, there are thousands (maybe millions ) of women black or white who would not be interested in a coward such as yourself! You all but indicated you date for easy sex anyway, so why don't you go find some, and get off a site that has NOTHING to do with you! And yes, we are a blog, so the hell what? That does not mean we want any loser wandering in and disrupting our viable discussions. As I tried to state civily before, YOU are not a match for this blog, and there is NO reason for you to be here. I don't know how the ladies feel about you, but I find you to be an arrogant jerk! Good bye Frank- and do us a favor, and stay gone!

Anonymous said...

This burns me up:

"I enjoy playing devil's advocate and seeing how people think. This IS a blog right? Open discussion?"


I don't appreciate it when people take the health, well being, and safety of BW as a game to be played.

This is a blog, but it is geared towards BW and the nonBlack men who are empathetic and genuinely supportive of them.


I guess that is my first online brush with a "supposedly white IIT/DBR" man.

Frank M...or is it? said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Frank is a loser and probably a black male damaged beyond repair that has absolutely nothing to do all day (because you know they don't work)...LOL!

Jazine said...

Throw in some resistance and a person's true colors will emerge. Frank had ill intentions coming here, and when he was called on it, he tried to shame the blog owner and her readers with the-freedom-of-speech crap. I don't know why he thought his so called bitter experiences with IR dating would shock us or hurt our feelings. No one cares. He acts like none of the ladies here are in successful IR relationships with non-bm. He keeps regurgitating his argument that wm won't get involved with bw because of bm. Does he think if he repeats it long enough it will become a deadly affirmation in the minds of bw? LMAO! That game has been played one time too many by the bc on bw that it is seriously played out.

lormarie said...

I believe that Frank is a white boy. Sadly, he fits the racist stereotype of the white boy scared of the big black man. What he does not realize is that bm/ww couples are much more likely to face violence from wm than wm/bw couples face from bm or wm. This has nothing to do with bm crossing the color line more often. I know we say that bm have issues but wm do too.

On the other hand, I don't hear of too many latino males getting beaten up by angry bm. Why? They are one group of men who will actually fight bm back. BM know this which is why they don't tread there much. Just look at all of the gang violence in Cali where latins regularly attack blacks. Again I hate to admit, wm appear intimidated or they may think the white guy deserves it for dating a bw...SOME NOT ALL.I'm not trying to put wm down, but the demeanor of many causes them to appear less masculine. On a good note, I'm seeing a lot of outrage over these crimes on the part of wm. Not all of them approve of IR but they are getting angry that bm are getting too much power (in their eyes). So don't be surprised if we see more armed and fed up wm, LOL.

@"S" thank you for expressing the anger I feel. I resent any negro male who thinks that he has automatic rights to me or any bw. I won't say what I think should happen to them.

Ion said...

"I think the impact of wm showing their attraction for bw can only lead to better and better things for bw and children all around the land..........."

This will ring true as it has whenever diversity or a right was implemented into society. Many people cannot handle being hosed down or chased by dogs to fight for integration, many people would not be willing to be the first to integrate a segregated school, and many people would not be willing to do what the "Lovings" did by allowing interracial marriages.

Those that do will. Every right ever won was due to the courageous people who stepped up regardless of ridicule from family, peers, and in spite of harassment. The actions of the minority of strong and determined people ends up benefiting the majority in the long run. This has been the case throughout history and how it will ALWAYS be.

The truth is that many white men feel that black women are not "worth the hassle", and settle down with women whom they deem less threatening. I think this is a good deal. I'd rather date a man who is an independent thinker than one who has to be "convinced" that my love is worth overcoming isolated obstacles for. Luckily, my stepdad felt the same way about my mother, and many white men these days do as well (black men who've been lynched or publicly criticized for chasing and loving white women as well). Not to discount Frank's opinions, I do agree with him that many white men won't be interested in the "hassle" that comes with black male harassment. Its also worth mentioning that the amount of black men that have violently attacked wm/bw couples has been less than the number of women raped this year (has this stopped women from leaving the house?), the number of divorces this year (has this stopped people from getting married?), or the amount of people that died of a heart attack this year (has this stopped American intake of fast food?). Actually, despite verbal harassment, the odds a black man will violently attack a white man because he's with a black woman is *extremely* rare. In general, black men reserve their violence and physical assault for black women.

Yes, many couples will face harassment UNTIL it's acceptable. I'm not really sure about the details but if I remember correctly the first interracial kiss in Hollywood (Star trek) and I'm sure the writers who chose to do so received much criticism and harassment. But I'm equally sure that they also went down in history for being revolutionary writers. Let's be honest, simply "waiting" for someone to have the courage "to do it first" is not a radical concept. In fact, it's responsible for why society stays the same so often.

Thank you for posting this, and congratulations on your gorgeous son!!

A-i0n

Anonymous said...

Frankie girl did not say much about ww/bm as couples? Hmmm, I suppose they are a more legitimate as a couple.

bbye, Frankie boy.

A.

Unknown said...

Frank M.

I’ve been resisting responding since your first post, but you keep coming back.

First of all, you are an enabler. When you say “that kid” (Brian) “in the hospital” should be thinking about his relationship with his girlfriend, you are blaming the victim. With the kind of brain trauma Brian suffered, he is lucky if he can think at all. The only cause of this crime was the actions of the criminals. This young man’s family, his girlfriend and her family don’t need to hear from apologists and enablers like you.

Second, if you are having a problem approaching black women because a gang of young black males is staring you down, I want to ask where are you hanging out? The ladies here are the type to hang out on the street at 2am. The conversation here is more about the people we might see when leaving the office for lunch.

Third, you are no gentleman when it comes to treating ladies. It is strange that you bring up some your size and that you are only afraid of someone who does not follow some long ago outmoded gentlemen’s rules of fighting. We are talking about criminals here. Are you really that naïve?

S said...

The biggest turn off in a Man for me is arrogance, arrogance and cowardliness.
I like it when a man is a man and i am allowed to be a woman.
Simple.

Now, when little boys like Frankie boy complain about how "hard" it is for white guys to approach black girls and all the HASSLE they have to endure all i have to say is boo frickin' hoo. Let me first tell you how GLAD i am that these types DON'T approach BW and how great it is for us as BW to not have to separate the "good" from the "bad" because these cowards do it for us, seriously, who would want a man like that?
I want a man that isn't afraid to defend me because he MIGHT get beat up and MIGHT get stared down.
Good god, be a man already!

Ladies, a man...a REAL man does not think like Frank, you know how i know? Because i have ONLY dated MEN, i have only dated white MEN and never have they even questioned why they SHOULDN'T be with me.
Real men do not let other men or other people for that matter dictate who they have the right to love.
I know boys like Frank and most of them end up alone or with someone they are only with because they were afraid of going after what they really wanted. These boys grow up to be 40 something year olds hitting on younger BW because they were too afraid when they were young and feel they have the right to a younger black girl, these types are also the types who think just by them being white that allows them to choose whoever they want as a partner, they also think that a BW should consider herself lucky to be with him (!!).

Does it need to be said again how lucky we are?? how lucky we are that these cowards stay with their non black girlfriends and leave us alone for real men to have?
If i am dating someone and they bring up dbr negroes and their fear for them i am turned off and PUT OFF and most likely that guy will never hear from me again.
I don't want a man who is afraid to be with me. End of.

P.s Frank, please leave those young black girls alone when you hit 40, not only are you insulting them but you are also most likely scaring them so please back off! i'm serious. it's a sickening trend.

Anonymous said...

LOL...I was on AF...mance site and this bm (site name: love white Women) was bragging to high heavens about all the money and material possesions he owed and all he wanted to do is share it with a ww. I sure hope he gets the best con artist/gold digger he can fine.

Taylor-Sara said...

You're so right Ava, And what was the name of that mega rich, harvard Educated Lawyer? I think his name was Reginald Denney. Anyway, I read his bio, a while ago, and it talks about how brilliant he was (and indeed he was) and how he was very driven, (also true) but it also talks about how his friend wanted to take him on a double date. Now keep in mind when his friend had tried to pair him with bw, He was completely uninterested. But when he called and mentioned 2 Asian women, he broke camp going on this date. Anyway he also broke speed records marrying this Asian woman from the date, and surprise, surprise. Her family had NO objection! (I wonder why....) anyway, years later he had a brain tumor and passed away. He left over 300 million dollars to loida (his wife) She had 2 half black children by him. Yet she spent millions and millions of his dollars on her family, and her Fillipino country. Building houses, roads, waterways etc. As well as contributing to multi-charities in her homeland. She had 2 half black children, but not one thin dime of that money went into the black community. In fact she refused to even give any of it to his family (who were struggling)! So you are absolutely right.

And you mentioned Michael S. Honey, the judge assigned his ex-wife MORE money than he takes in every year!!! Don't remember the exact amt. But it was a few million more per year than he makes! How's that for getting paid! Even if he assigns his entire salary over to her, he still has to get a 2nd job in order to support himself.... smh

Melody said...

Hey Taylor-Sara,

I had to de-lurk for this. I think I know the lawyer you're talking about, but I didn't know his name. Did he seriously not leave a cent to his family?? I mean, wow. Just wow.

lormarie said...

Ava,

You are so right about bm not building dynasties.In fact, they don't build much of anything from successful nations on down. People may say that I'm putting bm down but the truth is the truth. Then they (some) have a nerve to criticize bw. As a group of men, they are quite pathetic. AA men specifically.

bellydancer said...

Speaking of wealth building, bm think nothing of doing this with other races and then act like you should be grateful to get anything from them.
However when bw celebrities or business women marry or form alliances with wm then all hell breaks loose about you saving the race and all the usual hubbub.
If you are a bw with limited means then you are a gold digger but sometimes these other women that marry bm do not have jobs or degrees but yet and still are more desirable then a hard working, striving bw.
If you already have means and funds and choose a wm or other partner then you are called sell out.
Lately on websites and chatrooms people have been questioning Halle Berry's future as an actress while snidely sniping about her wm and mixed baby. Now normally I pay this no mind cuz you either like Ms. Berry or don't. I do like her and always have although sometimes her roles are beneath her.
It seems like now since Ms. Berry has found bliss with a wm, bm no longer desire her or wish to still admit they like her since her object of desire no longer meets their approval.
Either they talk about her wm using her or that her daughter is really black even though 3 of her 4
grandparents are white. It seems that her family cannot be biracial or sane since her man is not what everybody wants him to be, even bw get in on this issue like it pains them that Halle said I have had enough of the bs and want a partner not an abuser for a mate.
This lady went through a lot of bs from the community that so wants her to claim them but they keep abusing her.
If she has divested from the bc then I am not mad at her, she has found peace and prosperity and went further then any other black actress ever went.

Angelina said...

Wow..... I can't believe I read everyone of those comments, lol. But it was worth it. Because this sight isn't telling black women to not date black men just the damaged ones, and nor does it demonize black men--just those with a demonic nature. I thoroughly enjoyed this topic. I have been a strong supporter of black women dating outside their comfort zone. This site warms my heart, especially since I'm the mom of nineteen year old daughter. I'm married to a black man and not the BC definition of one. He shares my views about Ir in that we raised our daughter to not date a black guy just to please us or anyone else. Her happiness is our utmost responsibility as her parents. She's attending college right now on a well earned scholarship, however, she's not dating anyone right now. But at least she knows she has our blessing.


Now for anymore "Franks" out there who may decide to share their limited 'insights' by passing it off as free speech. GTFOOH with your little snarky comments, because as smooth as you tried to be about your snarky attacks, they didn't hit the mark as you had hoped. Plus I totally believe you when you say you're a white, but I don't think you're a man, however, if you are you've done black women a great favor by not dating us; so please continue on that path and steer clear of us including Ir blogs' created by Black women for people who "share" their interest....not yours. Just like I don't go blog that are of no concern to me because that would be stupid. You can disagree without the need to make people feel worthless in the process. See because contrary to your belief about you--your shyte does stink.

Ion said...

"When black men get rich white men become wealthier because they are marrying their daughters. "

LOL Ava! Your entire post so true. Black men's entire existence is based on "feeling like men". Any movement where they participate was not about "OUR Community" but THEM and their Penises. What makes them look like comparable men as white men, no matter the means. It makes no sense, but a genital-driven movement can't possibly be logical.

Drive by shootings? No problem. Never mind the destruction and murder of innocent children and elderly. It's fine because they look "manly" for demanding respect out of fear and terror of those around them.

Street harassment? Who cares? It's not about the humanity of INNOCENT women and girls but about their need to look "manly" by taking total ownership of the streets. So "at least" they own something.

The fatherless amount of black children? That's ok too. Because showcasing ones ability to "spread seed" just proves how manly they are, regardless of the consequence of these children that have done nothing wrong.

Exalting white women? Who cares. Confirming the supremacy of the white men who fathered them/white male genes is all irrelevant as they feel like "men" by taking something from WM.

Part of the reason why BM choose to use their high profile status as athletes as a public forum for bashing BW in my opinion is not because they assume we're upset, and want to publicly respond but because their "arch enemies" WM notice how over-eager they are to date WW when they have money. It looks pathetic, and they know it.

But with everything, it's easier to attack BW than demand fairness from WM.

Thank you for putting it in perspective.

Anonymous said...

And yet bw are the alleged golddiggers?!?!? I find it funny that that dbrbm on that dating site is bragging about what he has and what he does and is basically revealing everything in his pockets just to entice a ww to come down off her perched pedestal to deign to be in his lowly presence, yet let a bw dare ask a so-called brother what he does for a living and she is branded all manner of golddigger.

I remember that bm married to that asian woman very well. Look for the same thing to happen with the black guy who was/is head of Fannie Mae. He has made hundreds of millions and married you guessed it a ww. Heck you could see this happening with every damn black footballer in europe, despite the fact that they are being called monkeys and having bananas thrown at them on the field, they still manage to see past it a marry the organ grinders daughters. Not to mention, a majority of the NBA/NFL players, and most bm professionals, although that maybe an oxymoron. This really is a pathology that mental health professionals should find a name for.

I have to say I didn't give a rat's ass and actually applauded when I read what happened to Henry Louis Gates. His bitchslap was a long time in coming. I wasn't surprised when he sent that ww who initially called the cops on his behind flowers. What made it worse is that they both work for Harvard and have lived in the same neighborhood for years. Typical dbrbm behavior. If it had been the 1940's, he would've been a lynching victim. What a dummy!

bellydancer said...

But with everything, it's easier to attack BW than demand fairness from WM.
Says Alienation

Damn sister drop that knowledge on us. If Black Women Were White Women
on your blog was off the chain.

That is the whole problem with bm is that the person that they cannot compete with or take the fight to is wm. They can beat the hell out of bw or f*** the hell out of ww but that still does not get them what they want which is to dominate and when they do get a little bit of power it goes to their heads.
They have to showoff, showboat, brag or just generally clown about what they have.
I remember while in high school a friend of mine had a cousin whose girlfriend had a baby. He was driving down the street and saw me walking, he asked me had I seen his new baby yet and I said no but I will go see him later because I was on my way to my grandmother's.
This negro gets out the car drunk and with an attitude yelling at me to go see his new baby when I said no I will go later he got mad and pushed me against a fence and threw beer on me.
When I went to my friends house to complain about what happened everybody acted like well he was drunk.
Now my friend had an older brother who witnessed this and said he did not want to interfere with us because his cousin had fought his grilfriend before and he tried to get them to stop and they ended up fighting. I hollared that I was not his girlfriend and he did not have the right to touch me. Needless to say me and this girl were not too friendly after all that. Bm and Bw are enablers of all this mess that is happening today.
Now I am a lot bigger and I wish a negro would push up on me... (lol)

Steph said...

Alienation says:

Part of the reason why BM choose to use their high profile status as athletes as a public forum for bashing BW in my opinion is not because they assume we're upset, and want to publicly respond but because their "arch enemies" WM notice how over-eager they are to date WW when they have money. It looks pathetic, and they know it.

Steph says:

Of all my years of reading (and trust me, it's a lot since I'm the biggest bookworm in the WORLD, lol), I have NEVER read anything so true in my life. It just makes sense on so many levels that those athletes sense WM looking at them and having a very accurate image of them panting and slobbering over WW because they finally have the resources to choose a quality one. And - instead of looking like eager puppies following their master or admitting to themselves that the only reason they have access to these women are their wealth - they choose to pin their choices on the inadequacy of BW. All you ladies speak on it! If everyone in the world had the logic of the ladies who comment here, I'm sure we wouldn't have HALF the problems we do.

P said...

Amarie said...
Another thing Frank, to be a white guy you know a lot about black men.HMMMMMM

**********

I have thought tis too.

P said...

Ava said...
These dummies dont realize that when they share their money with white women...they are also sharing it with white men. The men that they hate so much. When black men get rich white men become wealthier because they are marrying their daughters. When that black football player drowned last summer (when he fell off of the boat with those guys) he was married to a white woman. Obviously he is going to leave his money primarily to her. When Michael Strahan got divorced a white woman walked away with his money. Dont you think that their brothers and fathers benefitted from this? I was watching a wedding special a while ago and it featured a white woman who had been married to a black NFL player. Her black husband passed away and she was marrying a white guy. You think that that white guy did not somehow benefit from his money? These dummies dont know that they are just giving their riches to white men by marrying white women. Black men will never build dynasties like Asian and White men. They will just contribute to other men's wealth because they are so anxious to marry their daughters so that they can feel better about themselves. That is why other men are just laughing at them because they know that black men cant wait to give their money to non-black women cause they have something to prove. Even Bernie Mack joked in one of his comedy routines that white men should be happy when black men become rich atheletes because they marry THIER daughters. We all know that the black man dies before everyone and that their life span isnt very long...Dumb asses!!!

August 26, 2009 7:33 PM


LOL I have thought about this whole wealth transfer phenomena also. They thing they are doing some big thing by all of this bragging when really they are setting themselves up for a fall.
The lifespan statement you made is something I hadn't thought about before.


***Sara forgive me for my rudeness but congratulations to you new little one. I hope for another little one in the future when I marry. :o))***

Welcome said...

http://www.lemondrop.com/2009/08/27/wife-publicly-shames-cheater-husband-during-rush-hour/5

It's a trip to me how many sided with the cheating husband saying she's airing dirty laundry, humiliating him and herself. Many people don't realize that she's already been humiliated and had her ish aired out in public by him cheating. Others probably knew about it before she did etc.

Too bad we didn't think of this. Have all the DBRBM walk around with a sign saying Damaged Beyond Repair or I cheat on my loved ones even gave them an STD etc. I don't pay child support why should I? etc.

Franky I give this woman kudos at least she didn't hurt him.

Anonymous said...

Alright Steph. Now, breath. LOL

Ava...My words exactly.

Most educated bm realize today it is Ok for them to marry other race women. However, most educated bw did not get that memo. We got the continue to support the community by whatever means memo.

Bellydancer...good comments.

Peace...I have a class to attend.

Pisces Bae said...

I found this ad for eHarmony that I thought was cute and I wanted to share it with you.

http://i26.tinypic.com/ornx2h.png

Anonymous said...

Come on Steph...you know bw took a gun and made those bm desire ww.

A.

Anonymous said...

I read somewhere how it's dark men's weakness for white flesh that accounts for the aristocracy of present-day Mexico being light/white despite the fact that successful revolutonaries of Mexico's past tended to be dark men.

Those revolutionaries were successful in overthrowing the established white/light government, but when it came time to take wives, these dark men took mostly light/white wives and started the aristocracy whitening process all over again.

If they'd only married women the same complexion as themselves, Mexico's aristocracy and upperclass would be indigenous and dark mestizo today. Tsk, tsk.

Anonymous said...

I read that Kourtney Kardashian is pregnant with her own out of wedlock child. Kim may also be pregnant... anything to keep that useless show going.
What a mess these Kardashians are and they have no shame.

A.

Anonymous said...

Yes, anon.@ 1:34 it does not make any sense for a man to go through all of that just to emulate the same behavior.
Fools like those men really believe they are hurting non-bm. In reality they are helping non-bm by supporting their daughters, sisters, mothers, etc. Most bm do not realize they have been brain washed and most do not care. Freaking idiots. I am tried of talking about them...enough!

A.

Anonymous said...

Some African men have jumped on the ww bandwagon. After all these men have gone through with European and other non-African countries occupying their land.

I know a Nigerian woman who said she knows of an African man who married a ww and some how she became the number one wife- being the number one wife is a big deal to most African women.

These men do not realize how brain washed they are and we cannot tell them any different. When you see someone going down a wrong path you try and tell them to stop and do not go that way.

As my grandmother used to say,
"A hard head makes a soft behind."

A.

Gloria said...

@ Anon 2:15 a.m,

Did you get a feeling of deja vu when one the sisters (can't recall by name) found out that her bm bf was cheating on her? The young lady was devastated. Her sister (Kim) basically tapped into his voicemail and discovered a very revealing message left by another women (who happened to be a bw). Anyway when she contacted him by phone to let him know that she found out, he basically blew her off. I almost felt sorry for her.

E. N. said...

Some African men have jumped on the ww bandwagon. After all these men have gone through with European and other non-African countries occupying their land.

I know a Nigerian woman who said she knows of an African man who married a ww and some how she became the number one wife- being the number one wife is a big deal to most African women.

These men do not realize how brain washed they are and we cannot tell them any different. When you see someone going down a wrong path you try and tell them to stop and do not go that way.

As my grandmother used to say,
"A hard head makes a soft behind."

..................................

De-lurking for my first post here, but I must say, I totally agree with this. It's happened in my community.

My father managed to sponsor all of his brothers and sisters - 7 adults - plus his mother (my grandmother) and one childhood friend over here from West Africa, and all of them worked to bring their families except one of my uncles. He has a family back home, but he chose to marry the dumpiest, trashiest ww I've ever laid eyes upon immediately. He can't even use the "green card" excuse, because he was landed when he got sponsored. As a result, his wife and children in West Africa are twiddling their thumbs - and probably wondering when he's going to send for them, all while he snail-mails them lies upon lies. He's family, but I'm not embarrassed to say most of my family are fools.

My brother has also never dated anyone darker than caramel, and once when he was in his teens during an argument with my narcissist mom (a lightskinned African woman who's always held that over us dark children), he let it slip that he thought "all bw look like monkeys" in my presence. From that day on, I've never looked at him the same way. Now he's 23 years old and heading for destruction. A few years ago he met Becky at a nightclub and got her pregnant before we even met her - I met her the day before my stepfather passed away in the hospital due to terminal cancer. They moved out together despite my mom's protests, my brother did all the work, and Becky SAHM'd - only she hadn't given birth yet, and didn't do a THING to keep house. When she had my niece, she broke up with my brother (thank God they didn't marry) and took up with a wm. Now she dumps her daughter on my brother for weeks at a time, while my brother lives at home with my mom trying to get a community college certificate. My niece is clearly not loved - her hair is always a tangled mess, she doesn't get bathed until she comes to her father, and she's never wearing clothes. One time she came to my brother covered head to toe in mosquito bites, wtf? It makes me so furious that I want to call child services, but I'm holding myself back because my brother's problems are not my responsibility. And the clincher is my brother is still in love with Becky, and won't let anyone breathe a disparaging word about her without a fight!!

Finally, among my West African-immigrant community, the syndrome has already crept in. Most of our men aren't so bold as to reach for ww just yet, but there are a few. The rest are going for the Latinas, the biracials, and if they MUST settle for someone from the community, she better be light like my mom. Fools. Meanwhile, the girls like me - darkskinned, reputed by others to be attractive and of sound mind - are being passed over as marriage prospects and ... you guessed it ... upholding the community with the sweat of our backs. Oh, and sometimes we get thrown a bone - one of the men might venture to call us for a "date", which is really just an invite to come over and have sex.

I swear, AA or other, I don't think it's a stretch to say that bm the world over are 99% DBR. SMDH


E.N.
Sticks and Stones - An Emotional Abuse Survivor's Blog
http://theemancipatedsurvivor.blogspot.com

S said...

Mexican men, black men, asian men...it all comes down to this.
They all want what the most powerful man in the world has.
A white woman is the closest these men will get to experience a little bit privilege that the white man has and their children will also benefit from it.
As long as white men are the most powerful and desirable men in the world minority men will follow and sniff like dogs behind the white mans butt and follow lead.
That's just the way it is unless things change which i don't think it will anytime soon.

Some of these men do not even know and are doing this subconsciously and are as you ladies said, brainwashed.
I don't know about you but i wouldn't want a man that is so weak to allow other men define what beauty is for him and someone who is so brainwashed to think everything white is right.

P.s i have also noticed more and more african men that are supposedly so pro black women lately dating and mating and marrying anything non black.
Seems like a trend that i don't think will die anytime soon.

Most of all though, i don't think we should dig too deep to understand and try to figure out these men, to me they are not men and we should be happy about their non interest in us and find men who are comfortable enough in themselves to go after what they really want.

S said...

Selena said...
@ Anon 2:15 a.m,

"Did you get a feeling of deja vu when one the sisters (can't recall by name) found out that her bm bf was cheating on her? The young lady was devastated. Her sister (Kim) basically tapped into his voicemail and discovered a very revealing message left by another women (who happened to be a bw). Anyway when she contacted him by phone to let him know that she found out, he basically blew her off. I almost felt sorry for her."

Why would anyone feel sorry for her?
You should be happy for her that she finally found out what a dbr negro he really is and hopefully she learned a lesson and will always VET a man before choosing him.
The signs were there but she chose to ignore them.
Again, i am glad that she found out sooner than later.

Anonymous said...

@ Selena...I am sorry I do know. I was up late surfing the net.
Believe me I do not follow those people.
A.

Anonymous said...

correction Selena..I do not know about the Kardashians.

Gab said...

"My niece is clearly not loved - her hair is always a tangled mess, she doesn't get bathed until she comes to her father, and she's never wearing clothes. One time she came to my brother covered head to toe in mosquito bites, wtf? It makes me so furious that I want to call child services, but I'm holding myself back because my brother's problems are not my responsibility."

PLEASE--call child services. Your brother's problems might not be your responsibility, but that little girl is counting on you to help her. It's not her fault that she was born into this mess of a life.

Tom said...

You are so right about bm not building dynasties.In fact, they don't build much of anything from successful nations on down. People may say that I'm putting bm down but the truth is the truth. Then they (some) have a nerve to criticize bw. As a group of men, they are quite pathetic. AA men specifically.

But would not the genes passed down from their mothers, grandmothers, etc. have contributed to this?

Taylor-Sara said...

It's not about genes Tom. It's about CHOICE!!! That's why so many bw go to college and so many bm go to jail! No one is suggesting that bm are genetically inferior. Certainly, few of us beleive that. We are suggesting that they make poor life choices based on superficial vices instead of substance. This carries over from everything from music, career, child rearing to choice of mate. Everything with them is about appearances without regard to substance. This is why a bm will spend 20 thousand dollars on a pair of freaking rims, but scream, moan, and do everything in his power to avoid paying 200.00 per month in child support. This is why they will put 10.000 in gold teeth, but won't buy a 10.00 book to improve their mind. And this is why even a bottom of the barrel wg knows she can get a bm. It does not matter how scrangly, matted, stupid, or morally bankrupt she is. she KNOWS she can pull a bm, and in his ever present omnipotent state of self hatred, he will parade her around like she's a prize. The above story someone told about her brother is quite common. This girl is trash who won't even take care of her own child, and still this fool is chasing, and loving her with his mouth hanging open. Salivating like a deranged animal. smh.....

Lovebug said...

Tom, what do you mean "genes"? Nobody said anything about anyone's genes or is implying that anyone is genetically superior or inferior. We are talking about people's destructive, non-productive behaviors
which can be changed if people choose to improve themselves.

Furthermore, boys do not learn how to become mature men from their mothers, but from their fathers (being a man, I thought you would know this already).

P. S. How in the world are you adding to the conversation by attempting to blame women for the negative behaviors of men. Sounds to me like something a damaged and/or immature man would do. Mature men take responsibility for their actions rather than blame the women in their families.

Anonymous said...

"Now she dumps her daughter on my brother for weeks at a time"

Dumps? Isn't she also your brother's daughter?

Sam said...

WOW. These brainless droids are all over the world. They do not seem to understand that no matter how many times they screw Becky they will never have “THE POWER”. Let them sink with the ship of their making.
_____________

E.N said ..August 28, 2009 9:33 AM
“It makes me so furious that I want to call child services, but I'm holding myself back because my brother's problems are not my responsibility.”

It is your responsibility. Your niece is the innocent party in this sick game between her parents. Your niece has no one to protect her or look out for her best interest. This is reportable. Call child welfare ASAP.
_____________

Taylor-Sara - Congrats on your son
Taylor-Sara - Thanks for supporting our emancipation

Anonymous said...

Tom must be a bm -- he's busy trying to find a way to blame BW for the shortcomings of bm.

Anonymous said...

This is so off topic but I just found out shia used to date kiely from the cheetah girls back in the days.They made a cute couple: http://perezhilton.com/2009-08-27-ladouches-secret-romance-revealed

I dont really find shia 'hot' but i like the fact that he seems comfortable dating non-ww( I think him and Rihanna were dating but she broke up with him).

Anonymous said...

The words of the african sistah confirms it. It doesn't matter if they're in africa, the west indies, or america, these black men are don't love sistahs, period.

Sistahs, it's time to start giving them the same treatment!

Anonymous said...

"You are so right about bm not building dynasties.In fact, they don't build much of anything from successful nations on down. People may say that I'm putting bm down but the truth is the truth. Then they (some) have a nerve to criticize bw. As a group of men, they are quite pathetic. AA men specifically."

But would not the genes passed down from their mothers, grandmothers, etc. have contributed to this?

No Tom (and what an appropriate name for you Troll), it would obviously be lack of self-respect (and possibly the genes passed down from the damaged Negro's Fathers, Grandfathers, etc. since you brought this issue up Tom and it's men that determine gender not women) that have contributed to this.

Most black males worldwide have lack of self-respect and suffer from intense self-hatred. They love to b*tch and complain, gripe and groan, and play the victim, but when it comes down to it, they have so little value for self and racial pride, that they don't care that the black race goes down the tubes. Which is a direct result of their failure as men on the global stage.

Reject Becky is a "consolation prize" in their damaged and conquered minds. They know themselves that as a group they simply don't have the intelligence (otherwise why aren't they using it to turn things around in the black community?) or patience to attain power in this world. So instead they worship the white man's trash and call it a treasure.LOL

Black women never should have been chasing, supporting, or defending black men's damaged and powerless behinds to begin with. Because the end result has been nothing short of a nightmare.

To scores of black women and black children alike.

The world over.

Black women simply need to move on and leave black men to their own devices.

They are facing extinction anyway. It is foolish for black women to hitch their wagons to this psychologically vanquished population.

E. N. said...

Dumps? Isn't she also your brother's daughter?

My response: Yes, she definitely is. What I mean by "dumps" is that for a couple of days while my niece is with her mother, she's not taken care of at all. Then when my niece comes to see her father, she's in the messy condition I outlined in my original post, plus the mom won't take her back for weeks. My brother will go toe-to-toe with anyone but Becky - he knows what she's doing is wrong but he won't get at her for child support or sole custody of my niece (and right now, she's getting the financial assistance). He won't even hear the logic when I or my mother tries to explain it to him.

I do want to call child services on the mom, but I should be clear: my brother is trying to be a good dad. He's going back to school, living with my mother rather than sinking into debt, and when my niece is over he clothes her properly, bathes her daily, and has been doing online research to find out how to take care of her hair, etc. But because of his penal attachment to Becky, I don't doubt that he'd cut me off from himself and my niece if I did report her. That's why, as hard as it is for me, I'm trying to adopt the mentality of "if he wants to tread in the mud, I won't get in his way". And he has his daughter most of the time. He knows the situation he's in, he's not stupid - just when it comes to Becky.

I hope that clears things up a bit.


E.N.
Sticks and Stones - An Emotional Abuse Survivor's Blog
http://theemancipatedsurvivor.blogspot.com

Tom said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ValeriesWorld said...

As usual an excellent post!

Taylor-Sara said...

Tom, I seriously believe you're the same jerk I just threw off this blog under a new name. And the fact that you came back again to argue this nonsense further bolsters that belief. And frankly, I'm too tired to be civil. You obviously came here to start something. There are a million blogs out there for ppl who just want to argue. That's not our purpose here, and therefore you are NOT welcome here. So suppose you take that bull elsewhere Tom, or is it FRANK!

Bev said...

Sara, I read Tom's comment before you deleted it. That was the most ridiculous mess I've read lately. He actually claimed that bm get all of their genetic material from their mothers!!! This guy is either on drugs, or he needs to on medication! NO ONE gets ALL their genetic material from one parent!!! Lord, there are crazy people walking around under the guise of sanity!!! He's just trying to rile people up and using your popular blog to do it. I'm glad you deleted him. Hope you're not mad that I mentioned one of his crazy statements. I just could not keep it to myself. I agree about it being Frank under a new name. Two wm trolls on the same posts, when we have to constantly urge wm to actively participate?-I don't think so... It definitely sounds like damaged-ass Frank....

C-Purls said...

A little off-topic but not quite:

This is for Sara:
You are "sleeping" on a "vintage" cutie-pie, or should I say Fine-Azz man {from the past}
Here:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqowzbnKLqs&feature=related

Anonymous said...

@ C-Purls, Please do not post.
Way off topic.

India said...

Hey Sara, I didn't know you had a baby. I'm sorry I'm so late, but CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He's so adorable.
The Lord has Blessed you and your family, and may he protect you and your family from evil, misogynistic, ignorant, damaged males, who will try to ruin your happiness.

@Jerry:

"First of all, you are an enabler. When you say “that kid” (Brian) “in the hospital” should be thinking about his relationship with his girlfriend, you are blaming the victim. With the kind of brain trauma Brian suffered, he is lucky if he can think at all. The only cause of this crime was the actions of the criminals. This young man’s family, his girlfriend and her family don’t need to hear from apologists and enablers like you."

You are absolutely right.
Jerry, I don't live in the NY area, I live in NC, but do you know of any way I could send a short message to the family, just to let them know people do care, and we will not tolerate this sort of behaviour from those repulsive, malicious creatures OR if anyone else on this blog knows how I could have a message sent, I would appreciate it.

This proves, that bm ARE in fact annoyed by bw dating/marrying non-blk men (especially wm). Here I thought bm didn't like bw. You hear their ignorant, demeaning comments on youtube, in the media, in the bc, and in rap lyrics.

I think they are jealous. Their plan was to infuriate the "white man" by taking "their women", and at the same time have the bw stay by their side and show support...No Sir! you will not have your cake and eat it too. They don't know, that majority of the wm don't care. They are too busy dating/marrying non-white women.
Now, If you bm really don't like bw, and find only ww or whomever attractive, then why do you keep attacking us, when we have a non-blk man on our arm...Huh?! I'm sorry but that's jealousy no matter how you look at it.
I agree with another poster, most of the bm who attack us or the men we choose to date/marry, probably would never look at a bw romantically, and probably has a non-blk woman waiting for them at home.

It's sad that most ww are attracted to damaged bm, who hate bw. I guess it makes them feel better about themselves.

Unknown said...

Carib.girl

I am not from upstate. That's why I suggested that the locals write into the area newspapers. But on second thought anyone can.

I don't have any more information than the news articles. But if you want to send a card you can probably get the name of the hospital and address with a little googling.

I'll give it a try too and let you know if I get the info.

Welcome said...

Cpurls please contintue to post. Don't let some annoymous person encourage you not to say anything.

Anonymous said...

I'm so glad that you wrote this, Sara, because a lot of people are in denial if they don't think that WM/BW marriages are not rising. It's the fastest growing IR right now! I'm sorry, but if a non-BM is afraid to date or marry a BW because of what the DBRbm are saying and doing, then he is a punk, and he needs to wear a dress. A real man of any race will not let the verbal assaults stop him from dating and marrying a BW. But, you know something, years ago, BM/WW received verbal and physical assaults when they first join together in the beginning, but now everybody is used to them now, and they will do the same for WM/BW. Trust me. It's time for us black women to look out for ourselves, and not let anything or anybody hinder us from that. I am my own woman, and I don't need black men to control me and telling me who to date. It's OUR time to shine!

India said...

"I'm so glad I've never been a part of the black community and that kind of indoctrination never touched my life. I never realized how deep all of this was until I started reading these blogs because I literally stayed away from black people because I didn't like the pathologies that all of them seemed to support. I started reading the blogs not because I needed to but because I wanted to seek out and connect with like-minded black women. I don't have any black friends (except my cousins) at all and it's because 90% are mentally enslaved. I've been saying this unpopular stuff for my entire life and been shunned by literally every single black person outside of my family."
---------------------------------
OMG you sound just like me.


---------------------------------

@ both commentators:

WOW...I am the same way. I agree, most are still mentally enslaved.
Right now, I'm dealing with a couple of close-minded bw, and racist, hypocritical (they can have sex with as much ww as they want, but if a bw like me has a white boyfriend were sellouts) bm on my job.
It's hard for me to find a black person, who shares my common interest or just someone, who doesn't put me down for being attracted to non-blk men.
That is why I went online to meet other women, who shared my interest, and weren't poisoned by the cancerous views people have in the bc and don't believe in the "nothing but a bm" mantra.

I don't care what people think of me. I'm so ATTRACTED to WHITE MEN...and whoever has a problem with it, can go KICK ROCKS!

Anonymous said...

Cause they’ll bring you down, down, down x4

Don’t keep yourself away
Don’t live your life that way
Of course he’s gonna say anything you want
Then leave quicker than he came now you got yourself to blame
Don’t put yourself back in the fire again

It’s the same damn things you’re so quick to believe
You do it over and over again
And it’s the same mistakes that I’m watching you make
You do it over and over again

So before they bring you down
You’ve gotta stand for something or you’ll fall for anything
Fall for anything
You’ve gotta stand for something or you’ll fall for anything
Fall for anything

Cause they’ll bring you down, down, down x4

Oh, please don’t be so naïve
Don’t wait ‘till your heart bleeds
Love wasn’t built for speed, listen to me girl
He keeps messin’ with your head, tryna get you into bed
And in the morning you’ll just hate yourself

It’s the same damn things you’re so quick to believe
You do it over and over again
And it’s the same mistakes that I’m watching you make
You do it over and over again

So before they bring you down
You’ve gotta stand for something or you’ll fall for anything
Fall for anything
You’ve gotta stand for something or you’ll fall for anything
Fall for anything

Cause they’ll bring you down, down, down x4

And you give until there’s nothing to give
Until there’s nothing to give
Until there’s nothing to give x3

Before they bring you down
You’ve gotta stand for something or you’ll fall for anything
Fall for anything
You’ve gotta stand for something or you’ll fall for everything
Fall for anything
You’ve gotta stand for something or you’ll fall for anything
Fall for anything
You’ve gotta stand for something or you’ll fall for anything
Fall for anything

Before they break you down, down, down
Cause girl they’ll bring you down, down, down
Cause they’ll bring you down, down, down
Cause they’ll bring you down, down, down

these are the lyrics from a band called the script. song's called fall for anything. you really have to appreciate the true meaning of the lyrics. Don't let anyone bring you down or stop you from doing what you want. Power to BW

C-Purls said...

I was not talking to you Anonymous.

Anonymous said...

Is that Leo Dicaprio with that dark skin girl?

C-Purls said...

*Thank You Cool_Splash1* :)

~Somebody gotta Love a Blk. Woman~

Let us break tha chains of DBR Men, and go find the love we deserve~

Take care~