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Monday, July 20, 2009

Why we must have HIGH Standards......



The kind of man you get will be a direct reflection of the kind of standards you hold....










Why do you think the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders are the best in the world?

I can tell you in one simple word. *Standards* It's because they have the highest STANDARDS of any cheerleaders in the world. Standards are the parameters of behavior in our lives. They determine what is acceptable to us, and what is not. I remember watching an episode of the DCC on tv, and being awed by how perfect the routine was. As I watched the girls trying to make the team, it was quite evident just how extremely high the criteria was. The women had to be very attractive, very thin, very athletic, toned, physically strong, good dancers along with grace, stage presence, and gymnastic abilities. The standards were so high in fact, that many girls began to cry upon finding out what was expected of them. They 'knew' they did not have what it took to reach them. The two women who head the team told one girl that her face did not look young and fresh. (yes, she was young) but they said it was completely obvious to them, that she had engaged in many anti-social behaviors that were now showing on her face, and that she was not a candidate for training school, and that she would never be. Another girl was dismissed because she had naked pictures on the Internet, and they told her that this was conduct unbecoming a DCC candidate, and that she was dismissed as well. I watched them send girls home for weight, body shape, lack of charm, lack of dance skills, lack of etiquette etc. Time and again, I noticed that as hard as they were on the white girls, they were harder still on the black girls. One wg was warned 3 times about her weight before she was dismissed. Yet I watched as one bg was dismissed with her very first bad performance. She cried, and begged to have one more chance, but they refused. This was a recurring theme, the bgs were given one shot deals again and again. Now this is not fair, but it IS life. The truth is the high standards for others, will always be higher still for us. No bg/bw can afford to delude herself about this. We must always be on our A-game. The most interesting part though is that of the bgs left, they were the best of the best. One was considered the best dancer on the team. One won for most athletic when she beat everyone in the competition, and one was considered as having the most stage presence etc.... The point is the bgs knew they had to be the best of the best in order to make the team -and they were.....
But lets apply this to another area for a moment.
I have a male cousin who is a typical damaged bm in a blk enclave. He's in the hospital right now due to the fact that one of the females he cheated on (There are 6 that we know of!) stabbed him when she found out that he had 3 other girls pregnant, while living with her. In fact, at a recent family reunion, one of 'his women' came with one of the babies, and he had to ask her his son's name!!! The reason many bm act this way is because the standards for a good bm have become so lackadaisical as to be almost non existent. Once upon a time the standards for being a man were much higher in the bc, and this is why we had men like my grandfather who, although he was Native American, married my grandmother, and worked to give her the best life he possibly could. He knew her family would not tolerate her marrying a bum. This is the reason that all their children were born IN wedlock, and me and all of my sisters and brothers were born in wedlock. It's also the reason that so many blk children today are NOT born in wedlock. Back in time the standards were so much higher across the board. The truth is if bm collectively and consciously decided to raise their standards of just fatherhood, the bc would be a far different place than it is today.
It makes me think of the bm of old, like for instance, I remember reading about Benjamin Banneker. This man was a mathematician, Astronomer, Inventor, and Surveyor! This man was so accomplished and so intelligent, that he correctly predicted a solar eclipse on the exact day it happened, using a complex mathematical equation. In 1792 he published an almanac that was so definitive, accurate and abstruse, that it caused Thomas Jefferson to reverse his contention that blacks were internally, and intellectually inferior to whites. Basically this man was a genius. Why? because he had the standards of a genius! (BTW-scientists have proven that geniuses are created far more often then they are born)
I also remember reading about Frederick Douglas, and the context in which he addressed the Dred Scott Decision. Dred Scott was a slave who sued his owner's wife, Ms Emerson, for his freedom (after the death of Dr Emerson) He felt he was entitled to live free because he had lived several years in free territories. He initially won, his battle (1850) but the decision was overturned by the Missouri Supreme Court in 1852. He appealed to the US Supreme court with the help of abolitionist friends and supporters. But in 1857, the US Supreme Court handed down it's decision:
***As a black man, Dred Scott was NOT a citizen of the United States and had no right to sue anybody. Furthermore, the court ruled, that congress could not prevent slave owners form taking their property (slaves) anywhere in the country.

This decision dealt a serious blow to the anti-slavery movement, because it then retroactively made prior anti-slavery laws, unconstitutional.
Chief Justice Taney declared:
"Blacks are an inferior class of beings who have no rights to which the white man is bound to respect."
Many blacks were ready to give up at that point, but Frederick Douglas roused them to fight on, with words to the effect: " The Supreme Court is not the only power in this world, and Judge Taney cannot bail out the ocean or pluck a silvery star of liberty from our Northern sky...." (In other words Taney was not God!) There was more, but I don't remember it verbatim. What I do remember is being deeply inspired by his fortitude, and strength. I remember asking my mother how ppl living in such oppressed conditions found the strength to keep going, to fight on, and march on in the face of such bigotry and hatred. She told me that they had very high standards for their lives that they were willing to die for. She said they knew they would probably perish before those dreams were realized. But they knew that if they fought hard enough, and long enough, and never gave up, that some day their children might come into the world, and have a better life....
Anyway, this is not a history lesson, but I will never forget those words. I think about these things all the time, and I wonder how our ancestors must think to themselves: I went through SOOOOOO much so that they might have better lives, and the right to live free and look how they have exploited and denigrated those gifts....and it makes me so sad.

The truth is, today, many ppl have no standards for their lives. Too many bw have high standards for their own lives (Education, career) but low standards for the men in their lives (any man will do, type mentality) Ladies, the truth is, anything you don't have standards for will fail in your life! You must have standards for everything you expect to be productive, and constructive in your life. This includes, but is not limited to: your children, your fiances, your career, education, and your HUSBAND. I'm a firm believer in using obstacles to your benefit. This is how many of our ancestors were able to keep pushing, instead of laying down to die. They saw that whites would not let them into their community, so they formed their own. They supported blk businesses, and helped each other all they could. The church is an old time relic from this nostalgic period of affinity, and brotherhood in the BC. But things are drastically different today. Today, bw must adapt to those changes, as well as others in this life. If the bc is no longer the bastion of love, protection and support, that it once was, (and it's def. not! -now it's a hovel of hell) then we need to move on. If a school you have your child in, is substandard, then remove your children and find a better school. If there is something you want desperately to do in this life, yet you lack the resources, -then find a way to get the resources to do it anyway. Life is fleeting, and short! Never keep putting off the things that you want. Never lower the standards you have for your life. And of course if bm cannot measure up to par, (don't meet your standards) then for heaven's sake-leave them where they lay, and move on!

The biggest problem in the bc today, is that we have lessened the standards so much. Our musical standards have lessened, and now we have trash 'simulating' music. Our standards of the youth have lessened, and now we have young children with no respect for their elders, or themselves. Cursing out women in the streets and walking around with their pants hanging around their knees etc. Our standards of etiquette have been lowered, and now ppl get on television and air all their dirty laundry. And our standards for bm have gotten so low, many bm will cop an attitude for being EXPECTED to take care of their own children!! We have got to life our standards back up, and stop accepting trash! Take a tip from our ancestors, don't lower the standards, find other ways to meet them.
The reason America is the best country in the world today is because our STANDARDS are the highest! When countries loosen the standards for their citizens (Iraq, Iran, China) come to mind, you can literally watch the lives of the citizens unravel, and deteriorate. (famine, wide spread abuse, internal wars, and high degrees of misogyny) to name a few....If you want to have a great life, and a great man, or even just a great career, then you must keep your standards up, and adjust your life to get what you want. You can have almost anything you want, but only if you are willing to put in the work, have high standards, and refuse to accept less.........
Read Karma story: -on white chocolate preferred....

81 comments:

Jamdown said...

Great post, but who is that crazy looking Black man in the last picture?

When you are told constantly that 70% of you are not married and never will be married, then it is not too surprising that some Black women get desperate.

Kiri said...

Oh my goodness! This post is so fabulous. So inspiring. I'm so glad I found this blog. Thank you Sara.

rainebeaux said...

Hi, Sara! Just checking in. Love the blog; I need all the help I can get.*

@Jamdown: the crazy bm pictured is "Bishop" Don "Magic" Juan...former(?) pimp and Chicago's biggest disgrace since...ever (next to the 'R' of course).

*yes, I need better standards (plus a smaller frame, a budget to do background checks on every man I date [single mother, you understand]; a one-way ticket to anywhere else that isn't the hood; bastard rehab sentencing...). Not desperate, just overly cautious these days (heh).

Sorry. I'm going to peruse the archives now...

Ava said...

Excellent post! I have a dumb girlfriend who purposely got pregnant of out wedlock to a guy who did not love her, want to marry her or even want a child...This is so common and really sad!

lola said...

Great post!

And our standards for bm have gotten so low, many bm will cop an attitude for being EXPECTED to take care of their own children!!

And many of them will act like it's a great accomplishment if they DO take care of their children, and will seek some type of recognition for doing what they're SUPPOSED to do.

I see some women allowing these losers in their lives, I just can't understand it. Common sense should tell you that it's better to be alone than to be with these clowns. Your life INEVITABLY gets worse with them.

lola said...

When you are told constantly that 70% of you are not married and never will be married, then it is not too surprising that some Black women get desperate.

I don't understand this. Black women need to drop that "70% will never get married" song. These numbers don't define them. This is based on if you strictly date bm! I don't know why these women worry about anything. If say about 5% of the non black men of this country are attracted to bw, that is more than enough. I'm not even counting the rest of the world.

These women need to stop listening to the pastor better yet LEAVE your church if your church doesn't have your best interests at heart, stop listening to your friends and relatives, stop listening to what "the media" tells you you could never be or have. STOP going to all-black events, meet other people. Do different activities, make new friends. These women need to get back on the track of life and quit singing that desperation song! We're living in a time when we can go ANYWHERE. Heck, you can create an account on a dating site in less 5 min and have tons of possibilities. If you don't make a choice to get out of your comfort zone to socialize with new people, what do you think will happen? NOTHING. And many (not all) of them DON'T DARE to try different things! Bw have options, but they have to make the choice to see those options.

Lita said...

When you are told constantly that 70% of you are not married and never will be married, then it is not too surprising that some Black women get desperate.

Good point. Especially when such a statement is inaccurate. 70 to 75% of black women will eventually marry.

ActsofFaithBlog said...

Excellent post Sara and I've linked to you in my post today. The history lesson brings it all full circle. I really think we need to be reminded or learn for the first time actually how our ancestors REALLY had it hard and our life of cushy whining is really pathetic. Sometimes I think Civil Rights was the worst thing to happen to us.

cool_splash1 said...

Sure that man isn't related to Flava Flav?lol

Sometimes I think Civil Rights was the worst thing to happen to us.

Listening to the elders who went to black schools before forced intergration the black schools were good schools. Some schools if they didn't have funds parents, teachers etc. raised funds and found ways to enrich children's education. Here in the states one of the best schools was Anderson High School until it was closed. These people standards were way high. You had your bad kids, but most likely the principle, teachers and other faculty knew your family.

Tam said...

The Bishop is a vile man, but he can only be vile because we woman, allow him and others of his ilk to make money on our self esteem and hard work.

The reason he is called the Bishop is because he left one pimp game for another, the Black church. Believe it or not, that clown has people attending (at least at one point, not sure if he still does) his Den of Inquity on Sunday's.

I swear, you can get some bp coming or going.

Lena said...

Well said ActsofFaith.
I think we have it better than blacks who went through the hells of slavery and Jim Crow!
What excuse do certain blacks have for not bettering themselves.

cool_splash1 said...

http://www.independentconservative.com/2006/03/26/black_women_mate/

I just found this post on bw exploring options. All though I do think the writer misses the point on why black women go for bm instead of looking for others.

cool_splash1 said...

The Bishop is a vile man, but he can only be vile because we woman, allow him and others of his ilk to make money on our self esteem and hard work.


Speaking of Bishops did any of yau'll know bishop Weeks tried to get a dating show ala The Bachelor etc. greenlighted. We all know why that probalby didn't workout.lol

What I found sad was black women responding to it in droves. I saw a comment from a young bw with a 7 year old talking about how her son needs a father. Talk about low standards. Now she can have her son be taught how to abuse women by his new step daddy.

Tam said...

Bishop Weeks, the same man that beat Juanita Bynum. Get out!

What woman would want to date this creep after he publicly beat down Juanita?

See this is an example of women not sticking together. If we banded together and did not allow males like Weeks to grab us mentally and physically it would be hard for them to harm us.

My question for the woman with the seven year old is, does she believe her fate will be different from Juanita's? Better yet, she probably blames Juanita and thinks all Weeks needs is a good woman. How foolish.

Taylor-Sara said...

My God! what is wrong with these women! Does that fool really think that this woman beater is a fit 'father' for her son? If bw would just use their heads, in the first place, they would have good father's for their children, and would not be under the illusion (as many seem to be) that they must dig in the garbage can to find a peice of man! Sometimes I want to shake women out of their stupor!

Lena said...

It makes me physically ill how some black women will throw other black women under a bus just to kiss up to black men(who are usually no good!).
Bishop Weeks is a brute and any woman who wants him is crazy! Especially after he abused Juanita!

Black men to watch out for are Black militants they are the worst kind of misogynists.

ak said...

Hi Taylor Sara

This has been your best post yet!

Selena said...

Bishop Weeks Finds A New Sucker...

http://sandrarose.com/2009/07/14/bishop-weeks-finds-a-new-sucker/

Anonymous said...

Listening to the elders who went to black schools before forced intergration the black schools were good schools. Some schools if they didn't have funds parents, teachers etc. raised funds and found ways to enrich children's education. Here in the states one of the best schools was Anderson High School until it was closed. These people standards were way high. You had your bad kids, but most likely the principle, teachers and other faculty knew your family

Agreed on this. Black women were the biggest promoters of forced integration. Recall that 7 of the Little Rock 9 were females. Men, deep down, knew that equal rights, not forced integration, was the key.

Joy said...

Wonderful post!

Earlier today in Anatomy and Physiology (A&P) class we received our test scores. A&P is known to be a harder subject than most simply because of the sheer amount of information. However, our professor gives us study guides and practice exams. Well, the students are so used to not putting forth effort and receiving curves in other classes that they actually expect it. Now keep in mind over 90% of the students in this class are aspiring nurses.

Test scores are in. Several students didn't make it. When the professor opened debate about questions the students couldn't even speak cause they didn't know their material. The professor is SO nice that it's to a fault cause at one point he asked "Didn't I say to choose the best answer for that question?" and the students said "No." and he actually replied "Oh, well I should've done that. I'll drop that question."

My jaw dropped. I thought with tests you were ALWAYS supposed to choose the best answer. And these students are trying to become nurses. *Shudders*

On another note, when summer school started I used to work on homework in between classes. How about two ww classmates said in amazement "Wow. She is so studious!" Huh? We're in college. Am I not supposed to be studious? The nerve of some people.

CW said...

I don't know which party makes me more ill...The deadbeat, or the fool who believes he deserves "credit" for assuming the most basic of responsibilities...


"And our standards for bm have gotten so low, many bm will cop an attitude for being EXPECTED to take care of their own children!!"

"And many of them will act like it's a great accomplishment if they DO take care of their children, and will seek some type of recognition for doing what they're SUPPOSED to do."

black men are liars said...

anon 1:53:

Agreed on this. Black women were the biggest promoters of forced integration. Recall that 7 of the Little Rock 9 were females. Men, deep down, knew that equal rights, not forced integration, was the key.

Me:

Really?Could've fooled me. Martin Luther King (you know, every black male's hero) was begging and pleading for full integration. You wanted full integration to get at white women, don't lie. King didn't want to have all of the fun by himself. Stop trying to revise history. The biggest beggers for integration were black males and you always used black women to further your cause. Another reason why I DETEST black males, you can never, ever tell the truth about anything and you're always blaming black women. You are a useless waste of skin.

Anonymous said...

Great blog!I know this is so off topic but I read this interesting article today about Gerard Butler http://www.metrolyrics.com/2009-gerard-butler-reveals-he-lost-his-viriginity-to-a-gymnast-in-jamaica-but-canapost-remember-her-na-news.html
He claims he lost his virginity to a Jamaican gymnast.I always felt like GB had a thing for BW.Ofcourse his fans never dissapoint.They started claiming just because the gymnast is from Jamaica it does NOT mean it was a BW.What I find interesting is how much they try to convince themselves(and others) that a WM would never ever find us attractive.If the the story was about a Swedish gymnast people would have no trouble beleiving it was a blonde blue eyed girl.Or if it was a chick from Asia they would not have trouble believing she was asian.So why is it so hard for them to beleive she was black,considering a large percent of women in Jamaica are black anyways?

Aphrodite said...

Hey Selena

I can't believe it.

I googled that and her name is Prophetess Christina Glenn and it seems from her website she has UK ties. Wow sad...

She is attractive, has a degree, why do I forsee this ending in disaster?

Aphrodite said...

Hi Lola,

"And our standards for bm have gotten so low, many bm will cop an attitude for being EXPECTED to take care of their own children!!

And many of them will act like it's a great accomplishment if they DO take care of their children, and will seek some type of recognition for doing what they're SUPPOSED to do."


True, but it is consistent in so many other areas too: like not going to jail, actually being employed etc.. If it wasn't sad it would be hilarious.

Aphrodite said...

Joy you are scaring me. LOL

There should be no "curve" in healthcare.

Anonymous said...

After reading this blog and other IR blogs, I wanted to make a comment coming from a wm perspective. Although I agree with most of the articles, it seems that alot of the reasons given for bw dating wm have to do with bw's dissatisfaction with bm. Which seems strange to me because that's the same thing you accuse bm of doing when they date non-bw.

As a wm, I'm not sure that I'm overjoyed about only being considered a potential mate because a bm treated you badly. It definitely feels like I was 2nd choice to begin with.

Whatever happened to simply considering men who you were attracted to? Why do I have to wait for a bw to be abused or damaged before she would consider me as a potential mate? I don't think I would want to be with a bw who had bm "issues". This would be a red flag to me that the woman was bitter and may only be dating me to "get back" at the real object of her desire.

Luckily, I've met young bw who just liked me. It had nothing to do with how bm act or anything they've ever done to her, they simply thought I was attractive. I know some of you ladies think that you are flattering us by putting down the bm, but speaking for myself, it only turns me off...

I would be careful with all the bm bashing. You don't have to JUSTIFY your reasons for dating non-bm. JUST DO IT. It's OK to like us (wm). We are NOT some other species. I am attracted to black women, but I am also attracted to ww, mw, aw, and have dated each one at one point or another in my lifetime. I don't consider myself in a war with ww just because I chose to date WoC. I am simply attracted to women, and I think your message would be better served by just sticking to the fact that you find white men attractive, and not worrying about justifying the reasons behind it.

/rant

Anonymous said...

Agreed on this. Black women were the biggest promoters of forced integration. Recall that 7 of the Little Rock 9 were females. Men, deep down, knew that equal rights, not forced integration, was the key.
---

^^A rather sexist and absurd statment. How could you possibly know what men (or anyone else) knew deep down or otherwise? Also, the fact that the Little Rock 9 were all minors, including the 7 GIRLS (as opposed to your rather insulting choice of words, "females") does nothing to support your sexist and absurd statement. Try again.

Lorraine said...

Thanks for this post Sara, I am passing it on (as I usually do). Many sisters need to read this and be informed or reminded of what they knew deep down about the standards.

It can be a little discouraging to sisters who refuse to lower their standards are secondguessed by those around them, saying tht the stardards are too high. It can make some self doubt, but the strong, no nonsense sister doesn't listen to the garbage.

Appreciate the history lessons too.

Taylor-Sara said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
laromana said...

Anon who claims to be a WM,
I question the misrepresentations you're making about BW on IR blogs stating that they want to date WM/NON-BM because "BM treated them badly" or because they are "bashing BM" (questionable accusation coming from a WM).

If you have actually read the IR blogs, you'll discover that there are MANY BW who are interested in IRR's with WM/NON-BM have ALWAYS been attracted to them but have had a hard time finding American WM/NON-BM who will seriously date and/or marry them. A FEW of the American WM on IR blogs have been honest enough to admit that, even though they are attracted to BW, the MAIN reason they don't seriously date and/or marry BW is because they are MORE AFRAID OF WHAT OTHERS WILL SAY ABOUT IT than being TRUE TO THEMSELVES.
Another MAJOR concept that is promoted on the IR blogs (especially Sara's blog)is that BW should ONLY pursue QUALITY men of ALL races who will treat them with love and respect and establish serious, permanent relationships with them. The IR blogs also strongly condemn the notion that BW should pursue WM/NON-BM as a secondary choice resulting from being mistreated by BM.
You are definitely incorrect to presume that BW who are interested in serious relationships with WM/NON-BM are doing so because of how BM have treated them. BW are independent individuals who are capable of making relationship choices APART from ANYTHING relating to BM.

Taylor-Sara said...

To the so called wm Anon.
Allow me to address a few things with you. First of all NOBODY on here is saying bad things about bm to flatter you! -Get over yourself. Second, This site is geared toward bw, and alot of bw need to vent for their own emotional health, and that is their right. It has nothing to do with you or any other wm. I don't write my blog for ANY man, I write it for bw. So that they will have a place to talk about any and everything including, but not limited to stepping out of the box, and finding love in any color. Third, I will tell you like I tell bm. Don't come here and tell me what to talk about on MY site! That is the ultimate nerve in my opinion. Never once have I ever gone to anyone's site and tried to tell them what they could and could not speak about. And I am not about to let anyone do it to me! Lastly, discussing all the reasons a man is not suitable Is not bashing. It is merely discussing all the ways and reasons a man is not suitable, and warning other women to get away while they still can. I would appreciate you having the diplomacy to realize that we are grown women and have a right to talk about whatever we want! Also, as I have said many times, have the balls to choose a NAME! It's cowardly to come to someone's site rebuking what they say under the guise of Anonomous. PS. Hon, this blog is NOT for everyone, but there are many good blogs on my sidebar, we will all understand if you choose not to return....

Lena said...

I hate it when men refer to bw or bg as females. So we're nothing more than breeding mares to men who address as anything but ladies and human beings. I do hate Anonymous cowards who post condescending or just plain offensive posts!

Anonymous said...

Lena

What's so offensive about the term "female"? Evia's blog is named "Black FEMALE Interracial Marriage". Does that offend you?

Anonymous said...

A little lesson in grammar and usage/style: It's not the term "female" that's offensive; it's when it's used as a NOUN ("females" rather than women and/or girls) to refer to female human beings that it becomes offensive. Your example uses "female" as an ADJECTIVE. Female is fine when used as an adjective (eg black female interracial marriage), but is considered impolite/poor usage when it's used as a noun (i.e. females), except when used in jargon or in reference to non-human life forms.

Joy said...

I apologize Aphrodite, lol. I complete agree that curves should be nonexistent in healthcare. With the current state of the economy the nursing program is overflowing with students. The part that bothers me is the fact that a majority of the students are only doing it for the money so they're only doing enough (or less as described earlier) to get by. Meaning that these nurses who don't understand your body at all will tend your broken body if they make it through the program.

Hopefully, Microbiology and Clinicals will weed out those students.

Tam said...

I don't like the term female either. It is like whenever one refers to BW it is derogatory or condescending. It seems to be in some speech patterns a step above calling a woman a Bitch.

Ex. Man, these females be taking all yo money...

Sorry for the Ebonics, but I thought it would translate better.

cool_splash1 said...

He claims he lost his virginity to a Jamaican gymnast.I always felt like GB had a thing for BW.Ofcourse his fans never dissapoint.They started claiming just because the gymnast is from Jamaica it does NOT mean it was a BW.What I find interesting is how much they try to convince themselves(and others) that a WM would never ever find us attractive.If the the story was about a Swedish gymnast people would have no trouble beleiving it was a blonde blue eyed girl.Or if it was a chick from Asia they would not have trouble believing she was asian.So why is it so hard for them to beleive she was black,considering a large percent of women in Jamaica are black anyways?

This is really nothing new. He has stated that he thinks black women are the most beautiful women of the world. I think he had to retract that or at least act like he never said it. Date women who aren't black, because he pissed off a lot of white women. It's funny how ww started saying that he was limiting himself for what he said. I don't know how he's limiting himself, but umm okay.lol

Anonymous said...

Vent, vent, vent...just me venting.

lois

Anonymous said...

I don’t particularly like the use of “female” even on Evia’s site. On Evia’s site, the term, “black female” is not used as an adjective. It is used as a noun and represents the particular demographic that the site is geared to. By stating that the term is being used as an adjective implies that the blog itself is a black female and we know that the blog is not a living entity that has a race or gender. This is quite different from referring to someone as a “female participant”, a “female student”, a “female resident”, etc.

“Black Female Interracial Marriage” is simply a designation that when translated to an actual descriptive phrase/term refers to an ‘interracial relationship based blog geared to the black female’.

The reference to the black students has more adjective qualities because it actually specifically describes the specific gender of seven human students. If one states that “the person is a female”, then they have assigned humanity to the gender. And how often have we checked “male” or “female” on applications or read missing person reports that described the missing person as a “black female”, “white female”, etc.?

I think that it is far worse for Evia to constantly refer to the significant others of black women as their “mates”. Animals have mates. Black women have boyfriends, husbands, lovers, etc.

Anonymous said...

The reference to the black students has more adjective qualities because it actually specifically describes the specific gender of seven human students. If one states that “the person is a female”, then they have assigned humanity to the gender. And how often have we checked “male” or “female” on applications or read missing person reports that described the missing person as a “black female”, “white female”, etc.?
----
I don't care how you slice it, "Females" is a NOUN, not an adjective. And its usage in missing persons reports, as well as its usage on forms, is considered JARGON -- something which was already addressed in my previous post. If you don't believe any of this, you can simply LOOK IT UP -- you are on the internet, after all! Or, if diction (choice of words especially with regard to correctness, clearness, or effectiveness) means nothing in your opinion, you can just continue referring to men & women, boys & girls as males and females.

Anonymous said...

By stating that the term is being used as an adjective implies that the blog itself is a black female and we know that the blog is not a living entity that has a race or gender.

That's nonsense! The "black female" in Evia's blog title is used to DESCRIBE/qualify the type of interracial marriage that is discussed on her blog (a marriage which includes a black woman and a non-black man). It may not be the best phrasing but it manages to convey what she had in mind.

Taylor-Sara said...

alright, lets, let this nonsense go. Some ppl object to the term female. We've established that. Lets move on....

Derek said...

Response to laromana:
I would SERIOUSLY date/marry a woman of any race and I have stood face to face with 4-5 black guys physically threatening me and heard comments from skinheads for dating a bw. I feel I have earned the right to speak on this topic. You say you want wm to step up and admit our attraction to you? Do you realize we are putting our own physical safety at risk? Forget worrying about what people think, it’s what people will DO. You will most likely not be attacked, we are the ones at risk. If I am getting an incorrect impression from the blogs, I apologize. Like I said, I am tired of the blogs focusing on bm as though wm are the 2nd choice. If I’m going to put my physical safety at risk, it better be because you really want ME, and not because Malik played you, Tyrone beat you, or Antwoin is now dating white girls. Understood?

Response to Sara:
If I am getting the wrong impression, I apologize. In my personal experience, I have dated bw who put down black men, and yes, I did take it as them trying to flatter me, when I don’t want to feel that way. I agree, of course you can talk about whatever you want, I was just giving my reaction to what was said. The site is not necessarily for me, but I prefaced it with the idea that I was in agreement with the majority of what’s been posted. I appreciate more the other blog “white chocolate preferred”, because it gets more to the point w/o discussing or needing to do a compare/contrast forum with bm. My whole point was just that I, as a wm, and other wm, want to be wanted for what we are, not just what we are not. I will attempt to create a username, lol…I didn’t know I was castrating myself for not choosing one.

Clarice said...

Derek said...

Derek - You make a good point - part of having standards is removing ourselves from negative people so they have no power over our lives. BW are well aware of the situation of which you speak. Some BW have experienced exactly what you talk about in terms of confrontations and on that point you are not fully correct. All parties in that situation are at risk DBR folks do not make a distinction. Having found myself in that situation of which you speak, crazy DBR folks are everywhere and do not come with identifying warning labels. I have learned how to navigate such situations, though most quality men need no assistance to extricate themselves and their lady out of situations should they arise.

Speaking for myself, as a quality woman I date a man because I like him for who he is as a person and there is a mutual attraction, not because of what someone else did or did not do. I want a serious relationship. My time is valuable as am I and if I invest my time it is with a first choice man or not at all. Quality men seeking a real relationship do not waste time dating second choice women so why should it be any different for me.

If someone did me wrong at some point in life I refuse to give them that power to linger in the background of my mind. The latter is for the simple reason that as a quality woman I will not and do not past, present or future tolerate anyone doing me wrong without removing myself from the situation or circumstance or otherwise shutting it down. Disrespect is NOT acceptable large scale, small scale or anything in between - NO SALE wholesale GONE. If anyone in any situation work, dating or daily life attempts to or actually mistreats or disrespects me regardless as to race, creed, color - station or situation I am gone. NO questions asked no quarter given. I believe this is true of quality women regardless as to when this became their mode of moving through life. A quality woman seeking a serious relationship - vets the man because she knows herself and takes the time needed to heal before embarking on a relationship in order to work from a position of strength. As a quality woman I do not waste time putting others down - I have better things to do with my energy. Flattery - which is fake compliments or false (insincere) per Websters praise. I am secure enough not to feel the need to engage in falseness. Putting others down screams insecurity and a lack of confidence. I want to get to know a quality man for who he is and be known for who I genuinely am. I prefer to give a man especially one I am dating or hope to date, or am personally attracted to honest complements based on things I like about him that are true. Sincerity and honesty is a far better start to a relationship - it is positive and true as in start where you want to end. Begin and end with your standards. Excellent post Sara.

V/r

Clarice

lola said...

After reading this blog and other IR blogs, I wanted to make a comment coming from a wm perspective.

Derek,

I apologize in advance for this long reply.

What is your opinion on HARRY POTTER's blog? He talks about his perception of ww. Do you think he sees WoC as a second choice? Because although I don't agree with every single one of his opinions, this is not the impression I get.

IMO, just because a reality is being addressed, this isn't "bashing". Barack Obama wasn't "bashing" bm for stating a reality of 70% of fatherless black kids. It isn't "bashing" when, for example, we state that nonbm who love bw generally appreciate all shades, including darkskin, unlike the bulk of bm. Advising women to expand their horizons to have better chances of finding someone who loves them as they are is common sense. If you had a daughter, you would want her to be with someone who appreciates her. Colorism in the bc isn't a secret to the world. Our situation is quite unique, but this is a reality for bw to consider when choosing a lifetime partner. They want to avoid colorism, just like any woman (in her right mind) wants to avoid sexism.

Derek, you may get this impression because you may not understand that a lot of bw have been indocrinated for a purpose - therefore there's a lot of myths that NEED to be debunked, this is why a few posts will focus more on the "black community machine". But that doesn't mean we don't love wm and other nonbm. :)

Evia's blog is and has always been anti-complaining, Sara's blog debunks MYTHS and gives advice on how to choose a mate (not to mention she has a blog called WHITE CHOCOLATE PREFERRED as you know, which further shows that she doesn't see nonbm as a 2nd choice), CW's blog stresses on COMMON SENSE in choosing a mate, I could go on and on.

Also, yes you guys put your physical safety at risk, but bw risk losing everything from family to friends for simply DATING a nonbm (not even marrying - just dating), like Janet Cohen lost everybody she loved. Both of us take risks.

And there are wm/nonbm who date outside of their race out of frustration with the women of their own race, so this frame of mind can be found in every group, every race, male or female. In any case, VET people before getting involved with them, and if they're not someone who takes responsibility for their choices, leave them alone. That's common sense.

Taylor-Sara said...

Derek, you not choosing a name, was just a small irritation. The real irritation for me, was someone coming here telling us 'womens' what we can talk about. That I hate more than anything, and make no mistake about it. My blog is predominantly women. Most men read without commenting. We as bw have alot to talk about, and 'get over' (BTW, that is how women get over things by talking them out) Basically the way I see it healing is job 1, and interracial relationships are job 2 because once you are healed, relationships seem to take care of themselves. Many bw have suffered greatly at the hands of ppl who would use them for their own agendas. Be it the media, bm, family, ww, etc. Bm have been the biggest culprits of all in this aspect, and we all know this. I want my readers to understand that you don't allow a wm to control you any more than you do a bm. And I really find it nervy for ANYONE to come and try to tell me what me and my readers can talk about. I have said before, I'm open to suggestions but don't ever tell me what to talk about....So bottom line, we're going to continue to talk about whatever we want, and need to talk about as black women. Thank you for your comments, but As far as blogs go, I really think I can recommend some blogs that would be far more to your liking:

Zabeth (sidebar) has a great blog in which bm are almost never mentioned.
Acts of faith (sidebar) is an eloquent and wonderful writer (far better than me) although the focus is not IR.
Evia (wonderful blog-sidebar) is focused on IR, and is a fantastic writer....
I'm sure any of these ladies can provide what you are looking for, good luck....

Sophisticatedblkwoman said...

Great post Sara and great comments from you on the purpose of your blog.

CW said...

Sara Says..."Lastly, discussing all the reasons a man is not suitable Is not bashing......"

Sara Says:"....We as bw have alot to talk about, and 'get over' (BTW, that is how women get over things by talking them out) Basically the way I see it healing is job 1, and interracial relationships are job 2 because once you are healed, relationships seem to take care of themselves....."

Precisely! That is also what I try to get across...BW have been shamed into not discussing these issues for fear of being labeled 'angry', 'bitter' or something else undesirable...We cannot bury "The Dead" without a funeral...I consider these type of discussions the to be the mourning process...People instinctively know that one cannot move on without taking that step- Hence the tactics trying to force/buy our silence (Keeping everyone basically Stuck On Stupid)...See, the devil is always in the details...The enemy (flesh or otherwise) NEVER wants forward-looking conversation...The enemy doesn't even mind "agreeing" with the subject at hand as long as no one is getting to the root of the problem...Nor a solution...

Don't be ashamed...Openly discuss what has been going on...Utilize forums which allow this open dialogue to take place...Don't expect everyone to agree or be cooperative...Realize that it's not your responsibility to nursemaid anyone elses opinion...

cool_splash1 said...

"I would SERIOUSLY date/marry a woman of any race and I have stood face to face with 4-5 black guys physically threatening me and heard comments from skinheads for dating a bw. I feel I have earned the right to speak on this topic. You say you want wm to step up and admit our attraction to you? Do you realize we are putting our own physical safety at risk? Forget worrying about what people think, it’s what people will DO. You will most likely not be attacked, we are the ones at risk."

Okay is it just me or does this rub anyone else the wrong way? It has that kind of you are lucky we even approach you kind of connotation.

Hell black women are attacked by the bc for the same reasons.

CW said...

Indeed...A man does not brag about protecting women...he just does!

Cool Splash says...."Okay is it just me or does this rub anyone else the wrong way? It has that kind of you are lucky we even approach you kind of connotation.
"

barb said...

Cool splash, I would have to say it def. rubs me the wrong way. His whole post sounded like a whining petulant, 'why can't I get my own way' baby. If being with a bw is that much trouble for him, perhaps he should stay with caucasion women. I for one cannot imagine any woman being attracted to someone so arrogant, and condescending. He seems to have this I'm right, do things my way type of energy about him. What does him standing with skin heads and bm have to do with him coming here and demanding that we listen to him? This is someone else's blog! Nobody has to listen to him-that's just crazy. He's just not someone I would ever date, but I guess his lady is less discerning. And that crap about us trying to flatter wm, really rubbed me the wrong way. I don't come here to flatter anyone,and I certainly don't need to flatter the wm here. Since I already have a good one of my own. I just want to talk to like minded people. This man reminds me of the jerk I went out with in HS, who thought I should sleep with him because he was white, and therefore better than me. I let him know in no uncertain terms that he was not, and that we were done. This man's attitude speaks volumes. I would classify him as a blustering bully, who tries to mow people down with his opinions, even though they were never sought.

Aphrodite said...

I found another blog discussing this same issue and some of the BWs responses were so typical. There were one or two posters (BW and one WM) that got it and the the others chimed in with more lower your expectations crazy talk. This is an interracial site and there were BW trying to get BM cookie points and BM saying all BW want is baller thugs and are materialistic.

Name: G. T. said...

Cool_splash, yes, I got that same vibe.

Derek, you did come across as quite patronizing, even if you didn’t mean to be. As others have said, in a bw/non-bm relationship, the bw can also be physically attacked by haters, not just the non-bm. It isn’t helpful for one party in an IR to behave like they are making a bigger sacrifice in order to be in the relationship than the other person; there are few, if any, people who are going to put up with a partner who acts like their doing the other person a favor.

If a non-bm is dating a bw and she’s complaining about bm to him, I agree that isn’t healthy because she’s bringing baggage into the new relationship. However, if bw are having a discussion about bad behavior by a certain type of bm, it is legitimate for the reasons Sara and the other ladies have given.

As has been established, bw are socialized to believe that their romantic partners should be bm--as I suppose wm are socialized to believe that their partners should be from a certain demographic group(s). I get the impression that at the heart of your comments is this concern (correct me if I’m wrong): “If I’m dating a bw, I don’t want a situation where she is going to be continually surveying the landscape to see if she can find a quality black guy and then bail on our relationship if she does find one.” In general, a reasonable, emotionally mature bw who has decided to date interracially has broken the stronghold of the social conditioning that says she should only be with black men. If such a woman meets a high quality man of another race who she falls in love with and she’s compatible with, she no longer will be searching for another romantic partner of any race.

Just like women should screen men to weed out the unsuitable guys, men should also screen women. It makes sense for a guy to weed out emotionally immature women as you are attempting to do (clearly, no man wants a situation where a women is dating him while, at the same time she’s ashamed of him). Just don’t assume that because a bw online makes a negative comment about a specific category of bm that she is emotionally immature. Please also remember that this phenomenon of a person dating interracially though they have every intention of “going back home” can be found among people of various races and genders, not just bw; it is one of the risks of IR dating regardless of the races of the 2 people in the IR, so everyone has to vet prospective romantic partners accordingly.

♥LaBelleVie♥ said...

Thank you for this post Sarah. It is so uplifting!

Aphrodite said...

Hello Sara,

I went back to the site I mentioned and left a link back here. I hope you don't mind. While I was impressed that many women held their own some comments disturbed me. I don't know if they will allow my comment through or not.

lola said...

This is an interracial site and there were BW trying to get BM cookie points and BM saying all BW want is baller thugs and are materialistic.

Aphrodite, it's sad. And it used to bother me a lot, but reality is some people just don't WANT to be freed. Just like some black men will never stop blaming black women and white men for their misery, some black women will never stop enabling them, just like they were raised to. I decided to leave those zombies alone and do my own thing. Some people will never learn. You can't help those who don't want to help themselves, it's a waste of precious time and energy. The truth is so obvious than even non-black communities see it. The consequences to "low standards" are right in front of their faces, but if these women want to wear blinders, I say let them. Some people HAVE to learn the hard way. I know some women in their 40s and 50s who regret the life decisions they made, they didn't want "higher standards" not to be seen as "bougie", now these women have nothing but regrets. Weary, frustrated and exhausted. They showed me exactly what NOT to do by living the way they've lived.

Lavette said...

Sara wonderful post again couldn't have said it better myself. This Derek person seems like he was insulting the intelligent quotient of black women in back handed kind of way.

Derek said...

Clarice,

Agree with your post.

To others: English is not first language so perhaps there are misunderstandings. I will attempt to make replies. =)

Lola,

Harry Potter’s blog is good from my perspective because I am a wm (too bad he stopped) and can see the points he is making. But if I was a black woman, I’m not sure I would want to read that wm are interested in non-bw due to negatives about ww. That make sense? Preferencing bw’s booty, good aging, or any other stereotypically good thing they have in comparison to ww is disrespectful imo. If I told you on first date, “You have better skin than the white girl’s I’ve dated”, would you be complemented? I doubt this. So how is it any different when the bw talk bad about bm to me in comparison to my financial status or that I date darker skinned women, lack of children or that I own a home/car, etc.? Regarding the attacks part…Of course I, as a man am the defender. That fact is, I am a dedicated weightlifter, so it’s generally no problem, but at no time has the woman I am with been attacked. I was jumped by skinheads at 15 years old for being with a bw, so this is something I dealt with at a young age. In each confrontation in my experience, the bw is ignored, no matter who the attack is coming from.

Barb,

Couldn’t follow your logic, but you sound upset, are you ok? LOL Just because this is not my blog, does not mean I cannot comment, correct? I didn’t demand anything. Tell me this, if not trying to flatter me, what is the point of making demeaning comments about bm to me? They think I will nod in agreement? Many of my good friends are black along workout partners and even some of my own family members, so I cannot agree or condone the comments.

Name GT,

I didn’t mean to come across this way…sorry if it sounded like I was doing anyone a favor. This is definitely not what I meant, but I still do believe that more risk is place on the male in ANY situation. Not just IR relationships, but I have been with plenty of non-bw who will speak recklessly when they are out due to the fact that they assume (I guess due to my size) that I will protect them if they speak disrespectfully.

No, the heart of my concern is definitely NOT that she will leave due to finding a quality bm. My concern was the baggage that you spoke of, and the double standard in which some bw use wm as some kind of savior, when I don’t believe that in reality, we are all that much different, we just look physically different.

Agree with the rest of your post.

Sara,

I have better understanding of where you are coming from now and what the site is about. Thank you.

I was not asking or telling anyone to stop talking about what they are talking about. I only wanted to express a feeling that I have felt for some time. No matter if wm read and don’t comment, it doesn’t mean they are not feeling the same way I felt. However, after reading the response, I understand the healing part is important and don’t want to get in the way of that.

I will check out the others when I get a chance.

Taylor-Sara said...

Aphrodite,
Do me a favor and email me that link, I would love to check out that site myself. send it to: asktaylor1991@yahoo.com


thanks....

Derek, there are very few women looking to wm as saviors here. Because we make it very clear that they are not. That being said, however, there ARE alot more good viable men in the white race than in the black one. This is partially due to the fact that the number of wm is far greater, but it is also due to the fact that pathologies in the w/race are viewed as they are, and not asxc character flaws the ww are expected to cure. As a result many wm are far more hard working, better providers, better fathers, and make better mates. That being said, some are still undesirable for a variety of reasons. This is why we teach women to VET. As far as you worrying about finding someone who worships you because you are white. Hon, that's a very low, low, low concern if she's a bw. Now if the sexes were reversed, it would be a high concern. bm often worship white skin and will do anything to be with it including putting up with racial insults and epithets. Bw however (for the most part) will never worship you. We will however open our doors in you in increasing numbers -so long as we feel loved and appreciated...

But just as Harry had the need to get things off his chest (about ww)-so do we...(about bm)

Jamie said...

That being said, however, there ARE alot more good viable men in the white race than in the black one.

Actually, there are more good viable mates in the white race than in the black race. It's not limited to one gender.

This is partially due to the fact that the number of wm is far greater

But this is offset by the greater number of white women competing for them.

but it is also due to the fact that pathologies in the w/race are viewed as they are, and not asxc character flaws the ww are expected to cure.

Or character flaws black men must "man-up" and deal with in their women.

As a result many wm are far more hard working, better providers, better fathers, and make better mates.

Whites in general make better mates, both genders included.

Now if the sexes were reversed, it would be a high concern. bm often worship white skin and will do anything to be with it including putting up with racial insults and epithets.

Whoopi Goldberg and Megan Williams are the only examples I know of putting up with racial insults and epithets.

Aphrodite said...

Hello Lola,


You are right it is sad. I am not going to do something that is to my detriment [mammy], but I just wonder if some women fully understand what they are saying/doing and what the end result will be.

cool_splash1 said...

email me that blog to blackwomenmakingmovies.blogspot.com
There are some blogs and forums that claim to be bw-IR and are the most depressing blogs and forums I've ever been to or joined. This reminds me of a certain yahoo group I won't mention.

cool_splash1 said...

my bad email blackwomenmakingmovies@mail.com

Anonymous said...

@Jamie
shut up...I mean really...what you are trying to say makes absolutely NO SENSE.

Anonymous said...

Derek these bw you dated in the past were using you as a sounding board to vent their disappointments and frustrations of some bm.

Cool-splash I hear you about the certain yahoo group, but sometimes they have some good, relevant tips and information in the world of interracial dating I had to take a break from them .

Clara said...

Hello Sara,
just found your blog and loved it. I am writting from Angola and am a black woman (my mother is black and my father is the son of a white man and a black woman).
I grew up in Europe (Portugal) and always felt attracted to white man. I just love mixture and believe the most beautiful people in the planet come from mixed couples.
So, i am almost in love with a french man and he is white and lovely. He told me he does not want a french woman because they are complicated:) hopefully i will see him in Paris (where he lives) in October and i am quite nervous because i don´t know if we are going to engage a relationship. Either way, he´s the man i want for myself and would love to send you a picture of both of us in case we decide to go further. I really looove to see a white man with a black woman (David Bowie and Iman are my perfect couple)!
Ok, this is all i wanted to say. Sorry if my english is not good:)
Best,
Clara

Taylor-Sara said...

Clara, that's wonderful hon, as long as you are with him because you want to be with him and not because you want 'mixed babies'. Welcome, and yes-we'd be glad to put your pic up when your relationship is at a committed stage....

Thanks for your comments

Aphrodite said...

Not only that Sara , but I would add that Clara I hope you have


1. vetted him - I mean really especially before spending time with him on his home turf



2. He is emphasizing how fabulous you are- not how complicated French women are- those kind of lines "all the women of my group are.." just easy ways some men gas your head for ulteroior motives


3. You didn't give the details of your travel, but if this is specifically to see him - I hope you are not paying...



4. You don't know if you are going to have relationship? - remember you are steering and closing the deal...



If I am amiss forgive me, but just some things that I gleaned from your post and I am just expressing friendly concern.

Taylor-Sara said...

You're absolutely right Afrodite.
Clara, do vet carefully, and good luck....

Clara said...

Hi girls, first of all thank you very much for your advices, I wasn´t expecting them but was glad to see that you cared enough to write all that down.

So here´s the thing: i do not want to be with him in order to have mixed babies. I don´t even know if i want kids. All i want is to be with him for is such a lovely and intelligent man and gives me something other men didn´t: security.

About my travel: i will spend my vacations in Portugal wich is two hours away from France. We will be in the same continent and we have to take that opportunity because he doesn´t know when he will be able to come to Angola (he sure wants to come here). So, because we want to see each other once again we agreed i would see him in Paris and he would see me in Portugal. I will pay for the trip, of course. I can´t expect him to do it. Yes, i will go to Paris to be with him but i am also going because it´s a beautiful city and i love to travel.

He said french women are complicated because he had a french fiancĂ©e and things didn´t turned out ok. I am not french but am a litle bit complicated myself but he doesn´t have to know that yet, does he? lol

Yes, i do not know if we are going to engage in a relationship. The last time we saw each other things were magical and something beautiful could have happenned but for some reasons that i cannot explain here, he left and wasn´t able to return here. Because of that, one day he called me and said we should be only friends for now because he could not know when we could see each other again.

So here´s the thing girls...this is my chance to see him again. To understand if my feelings for him are worth while. It´s a chance for us to know each other more and decide if there´s a point for us to be together in the future.
Did i vett him? I did. My heart and my head are working together. Will i be disappointed in Paris? I don´t know and i don´t think so. Does he truly likes me? He does. Will we be together in the future? I hope so.
What i want to tell you is, we only live once! And i believe i am doing the right thing and girls, let me tell you, if that man for some reason decide to break my heart, at least i will be suffering in sweet Paris:)
Thank you once again for your advices and feel free to send me tips and if you believe i´m being to dellusional.
Best,
Clara

lola (logged off) said...

Harry Potter’s blog is good from my perspective because I am a wm (too bad he stopped) and can see the points he is making. But if I was a black woman, I’m not sure I would want to read that wm are interested in non-bw due to negatives about ww. That make sense? Preferencing bw’s booty, good aging, or any other stereotypically good thing they have in comparison to ww is disrespectful imo.

If you like HP's blog and not this one that makes you a hypocrit. You either like both blogs or you dislike both, don't like one because you share the man's race, when in fact BOTH blogs are doing the exact same thing, aka talking about behavioral problems of certain groups (bm and ww).

You listed a bunch of stereotypical "reasons" why Harry liked WoC and that's totally not what his message is about. If that's what YOU believed it was about, it implies that it's one of the reasons you liked the blog, therefore you liked a blog that you PERCEIVED as kind of disrespectful to WoC. You liking something you PERCEIVE as disrespectful to WoC makes no sense to me if you really like and respect WoC, but it speaks volumes about your character. Harry's main concerns weren't WoC's aging, booty, and so on. He didn't deny that he found WoC attractive, but that wasn't the MAIN things he talked about. He was mainly talking about the "entitled diva" syndrome he felt most WW had. It was about their behavior, conduct, complex of superiority. He wasn't mad or bitter, he just felt the need to expose what he had noticed. If you can respect him for doing so, why can't you respect sara for doing the same? I gave you the benefit of the doubt, guess I was wrong about who I thought you were.

Like I said, vet the person. We have all known people who wanted us for the wrong reasons, there are sensible people and fools everywhere, welcome to the real world. So vet the person, and leave them alone if they don't represent what you want in your significant other.

What happened to you when you were 15 is not bw's fault. You should ONLY be mad at the skinheads, not expect bw to do anything to "compensate" (by praising you) for something they aren't responsible for. If you can't accept that fact, I suggest you do yourself and us a favor : don't date bw.

Anonymous said...

Some real confusing comments these last few ones.

Is this a pro-BW blog, or a protect WW/BM blog?

Is anybody telling White women to "Vet" the Black men who they love so much? I doubt it.

Duke said...

I just love mixture and believe the most beautiful people in the planet come from mixed couples.

Now a statement like this from a black man would be totally unacceptable.

Double standards anyone?

Anonymous said...

Duke, black men are FAMOUS for thinking that the only attractive black females are those with substantial amounts of non-black mixture, be it white, hispanic, or asian. black men are also FAMOUS for liking non-black features like straight stringy hair, thin lips, narrow noses, and above all else, WHITE/FAIR skin on women. Black women are NOT famous for thinking the only black men who are attractive are ones who have a close/similar appearance to white, hispanic, or asian men, and nor are black women famous for liking non-black physical features on men. That is the difference, so your post is an EPIC FAIL.

Taylor-Sara said...

Anon. not sure what you mean. Since nothing I say here is directed toward ww at all! Why in the world would we be telling ww to vet bm on a bw/wm blog?? Are you feeling ok?.....

Clara said...

"I just love mixture and believe the most beautiful people in the planet come from mixed couples."

I really feel what i wrote. And by mixed couple i meant black woman with asian men, black man with latin woman or whatever comes from love between people from different cultures.
Either way, regardless the color of our skin, everyone has the right to feel or say whatever they want as long they are not harming anyone.

Clara said...

Hey, i was reading older posts and want to thank you Sara for your blog. There is a lot of information here i wasn´t aware of. I am talking about a post i read about bm harrasing women in the street. I didn´t know they could be so violent and was absolutely sad to read those stories.
Here in Angola, bw prefer to be with wm. They say wm have enough money to support them and treat them better than bm. Also, when these wm return to their home land bw often go with them and save themselves from a poor life here...
Best,
Clara

Lavette said...

Hi Sara,

I want to also add this to the post on high standards as something else for black women to think about and act upon. Last night I watched the premier of yet another reality show on VH1 called "Megan Wants a Millionaire". This girl is another one of Bret Michaels former jumpoffs from Rock of Love 2.

Now as she was meeting all these loser no game, low budget millionaires I observed something about her behavior...

Even though this girl is rather low class herself in terms of her behavior I noticed that she carried herself as if she is the best thing around on the planet and it projected outward despite her not being a high quality woman I could tell she thought of herself as high quality and these men thought the same thing because of how highly she thought of herself and what she felt she deserved in a man which in this case is a millionaire.

So ladies if some strumpet on a tv reality show can project fake class and confidence in getting a millionaire and have 17 men fall for it hook, line and sinker, then as the fabulous black women that we are we should really be turning up the heat even more on our own standards and confidence and really cause heads to turn. Imagine if we did this what we could accomplish towards our goals of mating with high quality men.

Ladies we have the tools we just need to be reminded of how to use them cause I believe nobody has our razz-a-ma-tazz like we do.

Anonymous said...

Clara, it sounds to me as if the women of Angola are SMART. I'm happy to know that!

Spice and Nice said...

Found IR Couple Pics!

http://www.fotosearch.com/IGS228/is094-016/

http://www.fotosearch.com/SBY854/57599816/