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Saturday, June 6, 2009

How the self Image of a bw becomes lascerated.....




















What do you feel when you look at images like these? Did the thought run through your mind that bw are played out?
Did you feel a tinge of sadness? Did you look at these powerful men embracing non-blk women and wonder why there is never a bw near these men who CAME from a bw???
The truth is: This is how you were supposed to feel, so if these thoughts ran through your head, the ads were successful. Image and words are extremely powerful. Never downplay the images and words you hear. Unfortunately these images will ALWAYS be part of American culture as long as bm are around. What we must do as women is discount them.
Ladies, please realize BM are NOT COMING BACK-Thank God!!!! No, I don't hate them. but I just think the average bw deserves so much better than the average bm will ever give her. Notice how diddy went out of his way to put the non-bw on a pedestal (in all his ads, videos, ) while he continuously sexed and made bw unwed mothers left and right. He puts images like these out on purpose. Like most bm, he has a vested interest in having a pool of self esteem deficient, morose bw at his disposal.
Most bw do not realize how extremely damaging the images and words they hear are. Especially in regards to themselves. The fact is repeated often enough, almost anything becomes part of the SELF IMAGE!!
This is why you must guard your self-esteem and self image!!!

The self image is how we view ourselves, and once it is programmed, it is extremely difficult to deviate from it's form. In other words if you see yourself as a loser, you will act in accordance with this belief until the belief is changed!

Think about the average bw's SELF IMAGE!!

Many ppl wonder why bw have attitudes. Well think about it for a minute. If the men of your race constantly belittled you, called you fat, ugly, masculine, gold digger, hood rat, bitch, hoe, and many other denigrating names, just for having the audacity to have the same features, noses, hair and skin color that they do-how would you feel?
If you had to live under the cloak of perpetual humiliation, and ongoing verbal assault that many bw live under on a daily basis, do you think you would walk around smiling happily? Oh, but it gets so much better. Now picture those same men throwing everything non-blk in your face as the epitome of beauty, while simultaneously sexing (using) you, and tossing you aside. Now picture yourself being told that if you complain, you are a traitor to your race because bm have been though so much (like we haven't !)that any unappealing behavior on their part must be excused. For instance, when they refuse to take care of their children or pay a dime in CS, you are supposed to be a good little mammy and keep your mouth shut. Heaven forbid you send a Good brotha to jail!!! When they glorify ww,and put you down, you should ignore it,and keep on being there for a brotha. Picture yourself being afraid to walk the streets of your neighborhood for fear of someone asking for your number, that you don't want to give. (See it can lead to death to refuse to give your number to a damaged bm) At the very least you will often be cursed out, possibly spit on, have a variety of things thrown at you, and threatened with physical violence that you pray does not come to fruition.
But if it does come to violence it is most certainly your fault after all why were you wearing THOSE jeans? Why did you walk down THAT street! Why did you refuse to give that wino your phone number? After all he's a good black man! Because according to the bc contract. ANY bm is a GOOD BM! even if he's a pedophile, (R. Kelly) A total loser (insert any random bm) A woman beater (Chris Brown, The bishop, Ike etc) You have no right to think you are too good for the wino, you should be on your knees apologizing. And if he happens to bust you upside the head while you're down there-well he's just giving you what you deserve for being an uppity bitch! Oh, but we are not done. Now picture the church in the black community. You go here to get some respite from the pain of everyday life. Here they sing and worship, and it lifts your spirits temporarily, but then you are asked for money and more money. Pastors, day, choir day, building fund, Ladies axillary etc, etc, etc, You are also asked to clean up at all the events and cook as well. You are not to sit down or partake in the real discussions, as that is for the deacons and Pastor, and other important officials (read men) of the church. You are expected to simply cook, clean, contribute continuously, and keep quiet. If you are single and you go to church and pray for a man, the pastor will tell you to WAIT ON GOD to send you one! You wait quietly and realize the years are flying by, and no man appeareth! If you mention looking for a man outside the bc, you are immediately labeled traitor by all the men of the church and their non-blk wives! How dare you think you are entitled to a husband ALL YOUR OWN! And wonder of wonder's Pastor is driving a brand new Bentley while you are trying to keep your Toyota from collapsing. When you turn on the television all you see are pretty ww being whined and dined while bw are in the back ground looking like old maids. The wgs do the Victoria Secret commercials and hair commercials, and skin commercials while the bgs do the pine sol, liquid plumber, and oo oo good finger licken chicken chicken commercials! After all, everybody knows big-ass bw love fried chicken! Lets not even mention how you are made to feel repulsive because of your Africanized features and non-light skin! Do you really need to wonder why many bw are often in a state of sadness, overwhelm and dismay???

Recently little black girls were asked to take the good doll/bad doll test, and in an overwhelming majority the little black girls chose the white doll as the good doll and the black doll as the bad doll. What could have given them this impression? What made them think of black as bad, and white as good? All of the above gave them this impression. It's the ever present image machine better known as the media.
This is the same mechanism that has ww sitting on a pedestal, and being called ladies, (no matter how skanky they act) while a bw is afraid to smile at a man for fear of being thought of as a hoe.

It's so important to remember and understand that for a large segment of the population, perception =reality. In other words what ppl think you are like is how they will relate to, and treat you. For years the collective self image of the bw has been the one who stands by the side of bm no matter what, regardless of how battle scared and maltreated she was. The scary thing about self image is that once you believe it, you will act in accordance with it even to your detriment! There was a study done a few years back by the Cancer Society. Random ppl were called, and asked if they thought a good person would donate bone marrow to help save someone's life. Of course almost everyone said yes. Then they were asked if they WERE A GOOD PERSON ( watch the manipulation as it ties in to the self image of the person) Of course everyone then said that they thought they were a good person. Then they were told that if they really were a good person, they would come down to the hospital and agree to donate bone marrow. (Now keep in mind bone marrow transplants are extremely painful-and they were told this!) Would you believe over 80% still SHOWED UP! That's like agreeing to voluntary torture, yet ppl came because they had tied the act in with their self perception (image) of themselves. You will always go out of your way to be consistent with your self image, and this is why it is extremely important to guard it...


This is primarily what is killing bw today. Our self image in the BC has been tied to being saviors, fixers, and ride or die chicks! We cannot afford to be this foolhardy any longer. It is time we gave ourselves an image overhaul and made our primary chant RECIPROCITY!!!
Let me give you an example of how this old outdated image is being used against bw everyday. I was coming out of a store one day when I saw a middle aged bm talking angrily to a much younger bw. She was trying to tell him that she could not lend him 200.00 because she had to pay her rent. He was furious, and began to curse at her telling her that she was his cousin, and she was supposed to help him out, and that she was already stabbing bm in the back, and now she was f--------- over her own family. He then reminded her that a real sistah would help a brother out. I almost gagged at the blatant manipulation being displayed before me. The girl was biting her lip and looking like she was about to cry. She seemed so torn. But I knew, and I think she did as well, that he had no intentions of paying her back. Moments later her bf emerged from the store (young wm) He took in the scene and immediately pulled his gf to the car. "She ain't givin your sorry ass nothin! " He yelled over his shoulder. "I just lent her that money and I'll be damned if she gives it to you! " I looked in the girl's face and it was flooded with relief. She looked at her boyfriend gratefully and hopped into the car. Now I don't believe for one minute he lent her the money, I think the money was hers. But I think he just said that so that she would not have to feel guilty about not giving it to her loser cousin. The cousin just stood there fuming, but I notice he did not jump in the bf's face like he had done his cousin.

I've also seen bm use this type of SI manipulation against ww. I was at the mall one day with my family. And as they chatted away in the background, I watched a portly bm approach a young pretty brown haired wg. The wg was happily eating a slice of pizza and seemed very content to dine alone. The man was middle aged and far too old for her. He was wearing dirty jeans and a ripped shirt exposing some of his immense belly. As he neared her, the girl looked mortified, and began looking around for help. He eased into the empty seat on the other side of her and proceeded to ask her out. (keep in mind he was probably 30 years older than her!) The girl was shaking her head and trying to tell him that she was too young for him, but he would hear none of it. He kept badgering her all the while getting closer and closer to her face. "C'mon now" He told her "Is you a racist? -You hate black peoples?" The poor girl was vehemently shaking her head but had seemingly lost all interest in her delicious pizza. She looked positively on the verge of tears. He actually ignored her frightened face and kept plunging forward. "After all the things you ppl have done to us, and now you think you too good to go out wit a brotha?" The girl was protesting that she was not a racist, but that she could not go out with him. "If you ain't a racist -then you will go out with me" He smirked. backing the poor girl into a corner. Against my family's wishes, I summoned the security guard and sent him his way. He was immediately ejected from the food court, and the teenager shot me a wobbly smile. But the point is: Did you notice how he tried to tie her not being racist in with going out with him. One has nothing to do with the other! He was just a good manipulator who knew that she did not want to seem rude, bitchy, or racist. Some of these ppl have been studying women so long they can watch you for two minutes and know exactly what buttons to push.

But like I said. When it comes to bw, we need a new Image in the media and in the bc. We need a new positive, carefree, happy, loving, self loving image in the media. And we need a go for self, refusing to take anymore sh*t.
RECIPROCITY above all else needs to be our new image in the bc. It's important to strike down old images down and bury them. They are doing us an immense amount of harm. The greatest harm being that ppl believe what they continuously hear/see. On television all bw seem to be loud, angry, ghetto, and baby mamas. Never mind that I know plenty of non-black women who fit this bill. The only ones who suffer from these images are us. On Maury the same theme is played out almost everyday. The bm is cheating on the screaming bw. He is accusing her of being a whore and saying the baby is not his. She retaliates, and screams herself hoarse trying to defend herself. Most times the child is his, but it really does not matter because he (for whatever reason) no longer wants the mother and will then promise to pay for the child (he rarely does-as subsequent shows prove) Sometimes he will bring another female with him to irritate the poor stupid girl who is in love with his trifling self. The other female will begin calling the mother names and often Maury will gleefully intervene (as his rating go through the roof)

No, I don't watch this trash, but a good friend of mine does, and every time I pick her up to hit the track -it's on. The point is, shows like this bring down our collective self image. It's extremely difficult to be seen as productive, competent, socially ascending and a go getter with images like this constantly playing before the world. It's imperative for us to make some serious changes, starting with how we allow ourselves to be portrayed......


These are some starting action we can take:


1. Make our new Motto: Only a good man! -disregard Only a black man


2. Stop accepting crumbs from anyone-always demand RECIPROCITY!


3. Fight the powers that be by refusing to give out money to stations, shows, movies, and the like that demean and disparage bw!


4. Demand that the image makers respect us- or make them pay (with their wallets)


5. Never allow ANY MAN to use you for ANYTHING incl. sex, money, influence, recreation etc.


6. When you hear bw being smeared, do something about it, get the contact info, and post it. As long as we do nothing, it will continue forever.


7. When bw are attacked, MAKE A FUSS -IN ANY WAY YOU CAN! Al Sharpton is NOT coming to our rescue, but someone has to!


8. When there is a campaign or a movie that shows bw in a positive light -acknowledge it, and endorse it- so that there will be others


Well this is just a beginner's list, I'm sure you ladies can add to it. But I hope my points came through about self image, and what a vital part it plays in our lives....

178 comments:

focusedpurpose said...

GREAT post Sara! so true...

the action list you provided is a great way to start for bw. we MUST do these things NOW for ourselves, our daughters, and our very survival.

thank you Sara for your courage. keep up the good work, i support you.

blessings in abundance,
focusedpurpose

Divalocity said...

The dominant culture controls the media and all of it's imagery. Instilling a positive sense of self starts in the home, regardless on ones' financial background.

If we continue waiting on the dominant culture and BM to change the views they harbor of BW, things will never change.

It's up to us to create a newer perception of the imagery of BW everywhere. American women of African descent aren't the only ones going through hell on earth, women everywhere who share on ancestral background are going through the same thing.

We have the money and the intelligence to change the worlds view of us, from our hair, our beauty and of our intellect and we need to create our own businesses and media to change it. If we continue to wait on someone else to do it for us it’ll never get done.

I tell young women all the time that they create the life they live. They don’t have to let their past determine their future and they don’t have to live a life filled with drama and chaos.

Allegra said...

Hey Sara,

Enjoyed this post and it is so true. Here's something else to notice. Why are most of the commercials with bp in them, we are either dancing, buckin and jivin, or rapping?

Anonymous said...

Wow!This blog is amaizing. Keep up the great job. As an 18 yr black girl going through hard times, this blog is such a relief.

Anonymous said...

luckly, I do think things are changing for the bw image, extremly slow though. I've had alot of black female friends in high school who are really nice, sweet, talkitive, and polite, they are always being called "acting white", its sad 0_0
...
of cource I don't hate ww, my little sister and mother are really great white people. they are extremly open minded and don't act like they are higher than anyone else, but I do notice alot of ww and bm play into those stereotypes, not to say wm dont do it either, but we seem to be blamed for it more. anyways sad stories, luv this site, will continue to check back to a great and insightful read

-Evan

Anonymous said...

oh, BTW girls, I found a nice interesting read:
http://www.usatoday.com/news/nation/2007-08-05-interracial-dating_N.htm
cool thing is, I used to live in richmond, va when I was in college!so it speaks to me in a way, really nice to know me and kayla are not the only bw/wm couple around the south. :D

-Evan

Unknown said...

Sista Sara...
While I completely agree with you about what these images are supposed to convey, the only one that bothered me was the image of the bw crying. Ice-T and diddy are both TRASH. I really don't care that they elevate the images of white and other non-black owmne. Hopefully, thinking individuals will see what kind of manchildren those 2 are and will not give their preferences any credence. I'm not talking about other black men. We all know they can't and don't think. I'm talking about non-black men.

If non black women want these bm, they can have them. Just leave the few Barack Obama's to sistas and I'll be fine. It's not like Ice-T and Diddy are anywhere near Barack's league. It's much more impactful to me to see the President of the United States with a woman like Michelle, than it is to see 100 images of Negroes like Diddy, Ice-T, Terrence Howard, Michael Jordan, etc with white skinned women. I have to put it in perspective....what matters more in the scheme of things? DBR's whom everyone knows are damaged, sporting white skinned eye candy or The President-the most high profile man in the ENTIRE WORLD-and his unabashedly, unapologetically black wife?

*formerly badblackkitty*

Unknown said...

BTW, my previous comment only referred to the first part of the post.

Everything you said after that was dead on.

Anonymous said...

I am a young black male(22) and I frequently check this site out because I like the topics that are discussed but I am often disappointed at the way black men are constantly talked about so negatively. If you go to black men/white women websites you will hear the same rhetoric but in reverse. I think it goes both ways. The problem with black men is not that they naturally hate black women but the messages that they are constantly bombarded with, in some ways brings them to that point.

From a very early age Americans are taught through the media that light = feminine, girly, weak, etc. Dark is masculine, manly, tough, etc. As a result many people suffer from this line of thought not just black women. Because of this idea, lighter skinned women and darker skinned men are the epitome of femininity and masculinity respectively, while darker skinned women and lighter skinned men are the antithesis of this belief. That is why blonde hair blue eyed women are overrepresented in the media and blonde hair blue eyed men are underepresented, which they should be equal representation of them because I would imagine that this features are equally disritbuted among both white men and women. This belief also contributes to the underepresentation of Asian men and light skinned black men.

Black men that fall for this dark=masculine and light=feminine idea, I get really mad at but then I realize that they do not know any better. I relate it to them still being plugged into the Matrix. They are brainwashed and don't know it. Harriet Tubman once said that "I freed a thousand slaves I could have freed a thousand more if only they knew they were slaves."

I understand the anger, bitterness, sadness that black women feel but attacking black men does not make the situation better it makes it worse. I would tell the samething to black men dogging black women. Instead we need to try and educate our sons and daughters about these things so they will not fall for the same traps that has plagued our people since we arrived in America. I probably will get flammed on here but I'm truly am a fan of interracial dating on both sides as long as you are doing in for the right reason. Hopefully my comment will be approved.

Taylor-Sara said...

Of course your comment will be approved young man. I'm all for freedom of expression (so long as it's respectful) I understand your points I really do, but I think you know that bm have been attacking bw long before we decided to fight back. And if you really want to look into this issue, look around your community and ask yourself. Are bw attacking bm when they try to walk peacefully down the street or vice versa. Are bw raping bm and demanding that they remain 'quiet' or are bm raping them? Are bw making babies, and then abandoning them while refusing to pay CS, or are bm doing this? Are bw making songs calling bm bitch, hoe, hoodrat, jump off etc etc. or are bm? Are bw declaring bm ugly, and untouchable for having the same features as them, or are bm? I could go on but I think you get my point. Calling someone out on their atrocious behavior is not smearing them-it is merely fighting back....BTW, you said you would tell the bm boards the same as you have told us-my only question is-why haven't you already done that?

sky said...

excellent post sara. im almost lost for words. the one about the ww was shocking to me. the one w/ the bw was on point and surprising about the white boyfriend. but you know these guys are gonna have to starting showing their a** eventually to other women so that they see what we go through.

bw need to start collecting photos of women who look like them. that's what i do. I pay more attention to Michelle Obama then I do Beyonce. No hate on beyonce she's doing her thang, but she don't look like me. I look at Michelle Williams, Kelly Rowland, Gabrielle Union, Malinda Williams becuase they are women who look like me. when you start collecting pictures of women who look like you, you start to see the beauty in your skin. sometimes i'll go "how can i get skin like Gabby Union?", or "oh that hair cut on Malinda looks good on her, it might loook good on me". Practice looking at women who look like you so that when you seee photos like diddy's advirtisment, it'll mean nothing to you. I've noticed alot of ad companies are starting to use more dark skin women, look at them, put your money there and write to them how much you appreciate them finding women who look like you.

since ive done that i have more confidence when i walk about and i catch guys checking me out especially non-black men. men like diddy no longer phase me. why worry about men who aren't going to give you a 2nd look much less a 1st look? please i've moved on from that and i suggest more black women do it to.

Top Model Fan said...

"the only one that bothered me was the image of the bw crying."

Don't be bothered. I'm pretty certain it's one of Tyra Banks' black and white photos from Cycle 6 of ANTM. She wasn't crying for real.

Anonymous said...

@Sky

"bw need to start collecting photos of women who look like them. that's what i do. I pay more attention to Michelle Obama then I do Beyonce. No hate on beyonce she's doing her thang, but she don't look like me."

When u have your bi-racial daughter is she gonna look like u and michelle obama, or more like beyonce and mariah carey? are u going to keep pics of your daughter who will not look like you? If you have a problem with light skin black women, why give birth to them via interracial relationships? What an irony!

Taylor-Sara said...

Top model fan,
I keep getting a bad 'vibe' from you. Have you ever seen an UNRETOUCHED photo such as this on top model? It' She may not have really been crying, but it's pretty obvious this is no 'model pic'And that's certainly not what she meant anyway. She meant that she didn't want bw to cry over bm, because they are surely not worth it. Exactly who are you?

sky said...

to anon.

"When u have your bi-racial daughter is she gonna look like u and michelle obama, or more like beyonce and mariah carey? are u going to keep pics of your daughter who will not look like you? If you have a problem with light skin black women, why give birth to them via interracial relationships? What an irony!"

don't make it harder than it sounds I collect pictures of women who look like me! my future bi-racial daughters can certainly look at women like alicia keys, halle berry, and so on and so forth. if she so choose to look @ michelle, she can. it doesn't require common sense to figure that out. i certainly don't have a problem w/ light skin blacks you inserted that yourself. seeing how my OWN MOTHER is light skinned along w/ my two younger brothers. My mother showed me films and dolls of women who looked like me! is that irony to you?

Anonymous said...

@Taylor-Sara

"Ladies, please realize BM are NOT COMING BACK-Thank God!!!!"

LOL! Are you for real? As long as black women exists so shall black men. Live with it. And all those white and other non-black women you all like to lament about black men picking, guess what? All of you in the interracial game are busy procreating more of these euro centric women, so you gonna see more black men with these light skin biracial black women, birthed by dark skin black women. You're all busy ERADICATING the dark skin black woman. So once more, live with it! LOL!

Taylor-Sara said...

Anon.
you sound like the biggest fool!
Nobody is Euro-eradicating bp faster than bm-so you deal with it! I have no problem with Euro-looking ppl (obviously) But don't act like bw are the only ones eradicating blackness, Yall are doing a fine job of that all on your own! As far as bw being eliminated, uh... that would be ALL black ppl will become less and less black INCLUDING BM! The world is becomming less and less black and white, and more lighter shades of brown all the time. I don't care about that. My children will find greater acceptance in that world since it will look just like them. But I want bw to have good lives and good men (regardless of color) as long as we are still here... And once again, I thank God that bm won't be coming back-they're nothing but a detriment to most bw....For every Obama, there are a million sorry trifling no-count bm lounging around, looking for a victim....

Taylor-Sara said...

Wow. It's so odd to me that all these bm are suddenly coming here! What the heck is that about? Does this look like a bm's site?
Look I'm sorry if anyone's feelings are hurt but circular language is one of the primary reasons so many of us are in deep mess now. I beleive in calling a spade a spade. And if you so called good bm are so shocked by what I have to say, go out and prove me wrong. The next time you see a bw being harrassed for (OMG-having the nerve to walk down the street!)Step in a say something! When you hear bw being called bitch and hoe on so-called music (better known as GARGABE-set to a beat) refuse to buy it! The next time you are out protesting a bm getting beaten by police, protest the bw who was snatched from her car, raped, beaten and paraded naked before several bm neighbors (none of which bothered to call police or try to help in ANY way!)It does not do us one bit of good for yall to have your poor little feelings hurt while bw are being beaten, maimed, curse out, and killed everyday by the men who look just like them! If you want to be such a good BROTHA to bm and not say anything while they do all their terrible shyt, then don't say anything when I call them on it!

Anonymous said...

On Maury the same theme is played out almost everyday. The bm is cheating on the screaming bw.
---
Does Maury ever put any ASIAN women on there screaming off stage. Or any other image damaging situation? NOO! He better not, his wife would kill him... (speaking of images)

Anonymous said...

Hello Sky,

I think that is a good idea. I have done similar, but in regards to hair.

My goal is midback/waist length by Oct (I am nearly there) and I found pics of women who had long hair with my hair texture as "inspiration".

I have also done the same with some body types I felt were attainable for me. I have so far lost 20lbs and counting.






@ Anon:

"When u have your bi-racial daughter is she gonna look like u and michelle obama, or more like beyonce and mariah carey? are u going to keep pics of your daughter who will not look like you? If you have a problem with light skin black women, why give birth to them via interracial relationships? What an irony!"



Nothing has ever been said here against light skinned women.


I don't know what caliber of women you think you are commenting to, but I know that the women here have a pretty good understanding that it is DAMAGED BEYOND REPAIR BM who are practicing the discrimination against darker women and thus any ire is reserved for them- not euro skinned/featured women.


Also since lighter skinned AA women have been historically preferred in the AA community there will not be a dearth of reflections for a biracial/light daughter any time soon. In addition to that, colorstruck AA's will definitely faun all over IR children especially daughters IF and when there is contact.


The key word being IF.



Which brings me to my next point:

"All of you in the interracial game are busy procreating more of these euro centric women, so you gonna see more black men with these light skin biracial black women, birthed by dark skin black women."


Anon, you must be a BM.

1. What makes you think that all BW in WM or other IR are dark or even monoracially Black?

2. What makes you think BM will have physical/romantic access to these euro looking daughters 'birthed by dark BW'?


I noticed you said 'with' and not married to. How telling.


And daughters tend to marry men who mirror their fathers.


I know that for me, in all honesty, considering how things are going with the AA collective I would steer my daughter away from BM. Why focus on the damaged 5% of the American population when she can have her pick of global population? Especially since this will increase her chances of marrying up and marrying quality?

Anonymous said...

"Anon.
you sound like the biggest fool!
Nobody is Euro-eradicating bp faster than bm-so you deal with it! I have no problem with Euro-looking ppl (obviously) But don't act like bw are the only ones eradicating blackness, Yall are doing a fine job of that all on your own! As far as bw being eliminated, uh... that would be ALL black ppl will become less and less black INCLUDING BM! The world is becomming less and less black and white, and more lighter shades of brown all the time. I don't care about that. My children will find greater acceptance in that world since it will look just like them. But I want bw to have good lives and good men (regardless of color) as long as we are still here... And once again, I thank God that bm won't be coming back-they're nothing but a detriment to most bw....For every Obama, there are a million sorry trifling no-count bm lounging around, looking for a victim...."



I co-sign Sara! Not just that,but although Black is a skin color, culture and the values of that culture come into play.

If more AA/BW choose quality mates then their 'Black sons' will be radically different from the caliber of BM out there now due to the influence of their fathers and I can't imagine these guys wanting to associate or be associated with the general population of Damaged BM.

TC said...

How about we start a campaign so that more thin, attractive BW are featured in ads? Every time I see a WW in an ad she's fit, her makeup is done, her hair blowing in the wind, her clothes are nice. But 95% of the time when I see a BW in an ad she is overweight, over 40, wearing so-so clothes and selling cleaning products, laxatives or food. I know people preach body acceptance, but a) it's only BW who are portrayed as larger, and b) we're not shown as being put together and c) we don't need any more excuses to pretend being overweight is a healthy lifestyle.

Rocky said...

Many ppl wonder why bw have attitudes. Well think about it for a minute. If the men of your race constantly belittled you, called you fat, ugly, masculine, gold digger, hood rat, bitch, hoe, and many other denigrating names, just for having the audacity to have the same features, noses, hair and skin color that they do!!!
If you had to live under the cloak of perputual humiliation, and ongoing verbal assault that many bw live under on a daily basis, do you think you would walk around smiling happily?


The problem with this is that black women often show less attitude toward the men who do the things that you mention above and more toward the men who don't. Also, you can't say which came first, the chicken or the egg. Could not the bad attitudes be the reason for the denigrating names?

Understand that women's attitudes are formed in childhood and are shaped by observations of the women around them. It's a socialization process and since every study on the subject indicate that black women have higher self-esteem and self image than other women, the attitudes are clearly from socialization and not scorn. Many black women tend to admire the aggressive and curt attitudes common among their sisters and this is shown by the way that such attitudes are regularly labeled as "strength".

IeshaDressesCute said...

Does Maury ever put any ASIAN women on there screaming off stage. Or any other image damaging situation? NOO! He better not, his wife would kill him... (speaking of images)


_____________

Hey that's a good point. The only women expoited on his show are black (90% of the time), white and latinas

IeshaDressesCute said...

What makes you think BM will have physical/romantic access to these euro looking daughters 'birthed by dark BW'?


_____________


^5 HELLO!!!

Notice how that dbr black guy is getting happy about dating the influx of mixed girls already!! SMDH =/

If & when I have children (who will more than likely be bi-racial)
YOu better believe they will not be raised in some dysfunctional "black community". They'll be raised to be INDIFFERENT to the "black community's" ****out dated**** ideologies of "helping a brotha out"

Especially if I have daughters... ::scoffs:: I'd pack my bags and MOVE to Europe before I'd let some dbr black male low life get his claws into my baby girl.

I sure my husband would feel the same way.

Rudy Huxtable said...

Rocky I think your pic would be slightly more accurate if it were the black woman carrying the black man and child.

Taylor-Sara said...

Rocky, that whole post was ridiculous and you know it. For too many years to count bw have had bm's back. When no one else was there for them -we were. It's only recently that bw have begun to wake up and realize that bm were laughing at them (for being stupid enough to keep loving them) using them, hurting them, and leaving them. So whatever. Yall have an excuse for everything anyway...

Anonymous said...

Rudy Huxtable said...
Rocky I think your pic would be slightly more accurate if it were the black woman carrying the black man and child.



ROFLMAO!

Anonymous said...

Rocky is full of garbage anyway. His rant is that of the typical Black nerd with an entitlement complex angry because he is still a virgin.


Great post Sara, great & true!

lormarie said...

Also, you can't say which came first, the chicken or the egg. Could not the bad attitudes be the reason for the denigrating names?--Rocky

Could not racial profiling be a refelection that black men pose a greater threat to society at large than nonblack men? You need to explain why black women should accept criticism from black men when you all clearly have no leg to stand on.

I also want to agree with some of the posters about biracial daughters. I suspect that they are more likely to embrace the sentiments of their mothers so don't assume they will prefer or desire bm at all.

Taylor-Sara said...

Once again, I have to ask. Why are all these bm coming here? Does this look like a bm's board to you? We have a right to have a space of our own to talk about ANYTHING we might want to talk about without having it censured by ppl who do NOT have our best interest at heart. We would appreciate it if you all would respect those rights.....

Stuff educated black people talk about said...

Sara:

Thanks for all the hard work you put into this very informative blog. I continue to refer people who have not heard of you to your site.

This post and many others do wonders to combat the negative self imagery often displayed in the media.

Readers who haven't gone to Gina's blog "What about Our Daughters" should check her out also. She is also on the frontlines of the war on black women and girls.

I know she links to Evia's blog, but I will have to give a shout out to yours the next time I post a comment there.

"Dios de la paga" (I hope I spelled that write, my Spanish is rusty!) "God will repay" you for all of your hard work here, WE thank you and appreciate you very much!

-Moderator 1

Taylor-Sara said...

Hey Everyone,
I apologize in advance, but I'm going to have to be much more free with the delete button. Too many trolls are coming here thinking they have a right to tell us what to think, feel or do, and it's getting on my damn nerves.
I hope I don't accidentally delete anyone but if I do, please repost. Sometimes when you do mass deletions,-that happens.
This is a bw's board. I have asked these ppl to please respect our space, and as you can all see respect is not a part of their character, so.... appropriate action must be taken-thank you all for your understanding.....

Anonymous said...

Taylor-Sara said...

"Recently little black girls were asked to take the good doll/bad doll test, and in an overwhelming majority the little black girls chose the white doll as the good doll and the black doll as the bad doll. What could have given them this impression? What made them think of black as bad, and white as good? All of the above gave them this impression. It's the ever present image machine better known as the media."


And this blog is a part of that media, showing black women that white males and their biracial light skin offspring are always better. Are you not also guilty of the same anti-black pro-white brainwashing?

Taylor-Sara said...

(sigh)Oh lord... I see why Evia stopped accepting comments!
Anon. Please point out to me where I or any of my posters have said that biracial is better? Because I KNOW for a fact I NEVER said that! Nor do I beleive it. I think ALL children are precious and deserve the best in life, not just the mixed ones. I would ask that you all take a class on reading comprehension before you come here acribing thoughts and statements that you've NEVER heard here...

Anonymous said...

RE: BW 's Image


You know everyone I am wondering...


I feel some type of way about the following, but it may take me a minute to articulate it...



I mean when people said that other women of other groups tanned to look like BW. Of course those other women responded by saying that was a class thing. People who tan = leisure time = wealth etc and I bought it.


When the collagen lip injection phenomenon took off and some said that other women did this to look like BW - there was the whole Angelina thing... I just kinda didn't understand.


Then some people were saying that the butt injections were being done to emulate the BW's backside. I took notice, but it kind of didn't phase me. I knew everyone fawned over J-Lo and Kim K.


Now it is being said in certain circles on the internet that dreadlocks were started by whites and now there are others who have begun to deliberately alter their hair- yes- to emulate - tight supercurly kinky hair.


Now I am pissed.


Like I said. I feel some type of way about this- I just can't articulate it fully yet.

Anonymous said...

" June 8, 2009 12:57 AM
Anonymous Rudy Huxtable said...

Rocky I think your pic would be slightly more accurate if it were the black woman carrying the black man and child."



LMAO!

Anonymous said...

@ BWF

"Notice how that dbr black guy is getting happy about dating the influx of mixed girls already!! SMDH =/"



Totally peeped that. Salivating already!


I also saw DBR's response about you moving to Europe. What he still doesn't understand is that families and their environments have great influence over how children turn out. Since the average DBR man come from a broken home or descends from other damaged men- he doesn't get that.



Indoctrination/training received as a child when you are growing up is difficult to break away from unless someone deliberately invests time and energy in "deprogramming".


And that ONLY happens if the current programming causes so much harm and discomfort that the individual has to look at it.

I don't see how having a happily married mother and secure family life would cause a biracial daughter to question anything.



DBR and other's like him don't have a clue really as all they know are the damaged side of things. I noticed he added "wed" to his last response- but only AFTER it had been mentioned by someone else.


If everyone truly had a mind of their own blogs like this wouldn't be needed to snap BW out the trance of acting against their own self interest. It wouldn't be necessary bc BW would have packed up and left a long time ago.

Taylor-Sara said...

Anon 10:15
that's a very interesting POV. First let me say that I am not responsible for what an adult might think. Adults are supposed to be capable of thinking for themselves.
As far as biracial women with bm fathers are concerned, I see no reason for them to be offended. (remember most of us have bm fathers. I had a wonderful blk father. But bm of today are nothing like the bm of yesteryear, and if said women are offended, there are plenty of other sites for them to frequent. This blog is NOT for everyone, and I never claimed it was. As far as bm with ww goes. I don't know where in the world you got the idea it hurts me! It does not bother me at all. I enjoy seeing it. In fact several bm in family are involved with/married to ww. Some of my favorite aunts are ww (as I've stated many times) so that's not an issue. My post was mere pointing out that many sistas still have an emotional attachment to bm that they need to let go of, and those are the sistas who are bothered by bm/ww. I'm all for it. As far as bm forming their own society, I say do whatever you must to ameiloriate your condition. Anything you can do to improve your life is great. I wish you much luck in this endeavor. And I did not say Thank God they're gone. I said Thank God they are not coming back. Because if bm were to come back to bw in the same condition they left in, it would not benefit bw at all. It's like a marriage that has long gone bad, but no one wants to get a divorce. Bw cannot get on with their lives until they secure that divorce decree and move on.... But I sincerely wish you all the best in your efforts toward betterment...

Anonymous said...

____________________________________


" then why does it hurt you to see black men with non-black women, who will have eurocentric daughters that look like beyonce and mariah carey. I'm sure some of these biracial women who have a black father and non-black mother are reading this blog, and what's the message they're getting? It's because their father is a trifling wicked black man who worship white women while they're here, but other biracial women who look just like them, and come from black woman and white man union are better because the bw/wm union provides a more loving and wholesome family life? LOL. Will the biracial kids with black fathers not find this site offensive, as it promotes one interracial union as an answer to the other that it decries as being offensive? the bm/wm irr and their biracial kids are a product of anti-black woman? Why hate the black man with white woman when you accept the likes of an alicia keys? The quagmire never ends. LOL."



This is drivel. No one is hurt by BM being with other women. Wrong group of women bruh.

As a matter of fact I encourage it bc it drains off the dead weight DBR. Damage is damage and people take their dysfunction everywhere they go - so Becky, Soon Yi, and Lourdes will find out soon enough.

What about the WOUNDED biracial girls who have DBR BM as their fathers?? They have come around many times on this blog. The ones who darkened up as they got older and couldn't pass the manilla folder test anymore, the ones who had mothers who called their hair nappy and refused to learn to care for it, or the ones who were outright rejected bc their mothers really didn't want to raise them...



I see a lot of WW who have half black biracial children and are no better off than BW who had OOW children by BM. Rarely do I see a BM and WW or other woman together nowadays with matching ring sets, but I do see lots of WW and other nonBW pushing baby strollers and carrying legions of brown babies in grocery shopping carts in the grocery store alone - with bare ring fingers.


So like I said - he common factor is the BM and damage is damage.


At least quality men of other groups value marriage and family and understand the concept of protecting and providing.

Anonymous said...

"Black men have their socio-economic problems and as soon as they dump the emasculated all-inclusive NAACP and"




More drivel, if one "emasculated organization" can derail your destiny and prevent you from being men or having racial pride and well I can add "the media" too...

Then in the words of my uncle "you wasn't about nothing" to begin with. LOL



"form their own "black men only" societies that provide financial assistance, mentoring, business networking and other self-empowerment programs for them and them alone, their lives will be more enriched, and plagued with less social ills. "


I will see it when I believe it! LOL BM can't even stop killing each other! And then have the nerve to get on tv and cry "why doesn't anyone care about us killing each other?!" LOL


Not only that, but these organizations and infrastructures already exist for BM - they are called the Black Church, the Mosque, any/all black political organizations, professional organizations, - all benefit BM at the expense of the foot work, time and money of BW. BM don't need MORE resources- they don't have the common sense to use the ones they already have!



"Then all you envious detractors will not only eat your words,

Envious?? How sad are you always trying to compete with the women of your group. Men compete with men. It is so ingrained that you can’t fathom that IS the purpose of the men of any group to gather as many resources as possible thus, elevating ALL MEMBERS OF THE GROUP! That is what you as a man are supposed to do! Males of other groups get this- why the over 40+ year lag for you?


As many BW who have held out, held on, and held up your sorry asses I would think that the typical nothing but a BM type BW would be overjoyed that you finally accomplished something collectively without their extensive financing, labor, and brainpower. It would be a false alarm to them that the bruthas are coming home, but hopefully with blogs like these they won’t drink the kool aid.


“you'll all be up in arms that the black man is a racist/sexist monster who's only catering for himself, closing out everybody... as if everybody hasn't all ready closed us out. Thank God we're gone? Nah, we're still here. Live with it.""


As if BM aren’t already racist and sexist. BM have proven that they are racist by their treatment/discrimination against BW simply for being black. BM have proven they are sexist in that BW do all the labor while all the men provide the mis leadership in all black constructs, the fact that DV is so common and no one says a word in defense of the women, the fact that when BG’s are molested - nevermind what the law says- the age of consent automatically lowers to 3, or is has it been lowered to pre-verbal newborn now? The fact that when BW are raped they all asked for it and then are harassed and browbeaten into silent suffering, and when BW are murdered at the hands of BM she pretty much all but put the weapon in her murderer’s hand.


Boy bye! Bye boo. Go away. I don’t care about you, who you and others like you marry, or your spawn.

Velvet Queen said...

Sara, you speak the truth.

I know the media's overall presentation of black women can have such a negative effect because I have felt it. Growing up there were times I felt so undesired and unwanted because I was “black” and especially because I had dark skin. This is had a profound effect on my self-esteem and I even started to get a bit of an “attitude” because of it. The only people who made me feel the most beautiful was my mother, and other women which I held as role-models. To this day I am beyond grateful for them because I don't know where I would be emotionally if it hadn't have been for them.

Too a point, I think some women should pull their daughters out of public school and homeschool them (Shux, even their sons!) because of such unhealthy, evil things they are learning a lot better from other students rather than their teachers. I'm thankful that my mother decided to homeschool me and I would never ask her to take that choice back.

I think it is of the ultimate importance for black women to protect their daughters, and children within their care from such images and lifestyles. It's disastrous. Look at what it has done to us already!!!

We don't need to sacrifice any more lambs. WE CAN'T.

Lavette said...

Hey Sara,

I see business has picked up LOL! These DBR's "Doth protest too much", not to mention they are very transparent in their true feelings about bw/wm relationships.

It really bothers them otherwise as you said why be here on this blog? Ppl who do not care about a particular situation or trend don't waste brain cells thinking about or even responding to it. If it doesn't bother you makes no sense at all.

LOL!

Anonymous said...

If I thought so little of BW I wouldn't be here to support my sisters. I understand that BW have been indoctrinated mentally and emotionally from birth to support losers like you at all costs. It is time for the gravy train to run out for BM.


The solution is choosing quality men of other groups and divesting from BM and choosing only options that inherently create reciprocity. I know you are scared troll and you should be.


BW don't need legions of WM and other men- only one good one. And since BW are such a small slice of the American population pie it would only take a small percentage of other men from the global village to see to it that every BW was married - if they all wished it so.


You and all that drivel after your last statement prove that YOU think so little of BW.

"you still can't find HAPPINESS living ALONE"


BW are only alone bc they were sitting around waiting for your tired azzes- but no more.




"you're gonna have hell competing with white women for their declining numbers of marriageable men. Not to mention the asian women who are highly favored by white men."


I don't care about other women. I only care about BW and the funny part is that had I not been waiting on a brutha I could have been married by now. Even though I was in my nothing but a brother trance I still had non black men to express interest and even a few try to pursue me.


If this is not an issue - why you worried boo? I'm not worried. LOL

If us po black wimmins can't get no other mens beside da black mens then why the PSA? I don't see any PSAs telling people that water is wet or that fire is hot - so why are you so concerned if this is such an obvious fact? LOL



"Many of you are going to turn to sperm donors, fertility clinics and adoption agencies to have kids"


Its always about the peen isn't it? Living up to that buck mandigo much? First it was "getting with" our white looking biracial daughters and now its "since we won't have OOW babies for you".. now we will have to turn to sperm donors and adoption. LOL


Boo you need to stop with your wishful thinking.



"cause many a man (black, white and asian) will prefer being single than living in any feminist matriarchal homes"


Boo bye! Bye boo! Men are wired to like women- period.

And you are such a moron LOL- what type of feminism are you talking about? You know there is more than one school of feminist thought right? And you have to know- since you are soo smart - that WM had a hand in assisting the feminist movement or it probably wouldn't have gone down right? And you also know that being feminist and pro- women's rights doesn't mean anti-man right? And of course you understand that men can also be feminists too right? And of course you have the knowledge that not ALL BW are feminists right?


Get your education on boo! :)


And what is with this matriarchal crap? AA culture is the MOST patriarchal culture dare I say in America. Where else in America do the women have no rights whatsoever and do all the heavy lifting for the benefit of the men - while the men do nothing, but reap and squander the benefits?

Although I have issues with the way feminists have treated BW if it weren't for some of the inroads made and sensible "others" making those laws of protection - most AA women would have been living under Taliban conditions. I don't know how much worse it can get .... and I don't think BW should stick around to find out.

Which is why BW are encouraged to flee all black constructs - especially if they have children.

Rocky said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Rocky said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Taylor-Sara said...

Rocky, I deleted your posts because as usual they add nothing of relevance to our discussion. As I have told you and many others many times. THIS IS A BW'S BOARD! There are plenty of bm boards for you to go to air your grievances. We are not particularly interested...

Rocky said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

I am NOT BOTHERED by those and anyother pics of Ice-T and his hooker does not bother me at all. They both are TRASH and they deserve each other. P Diddy is simply trying to be another Donald Trump.
I would not buy anything the three of them were trying to sell.

a.

Welcome said...

"Boo bye! Bye boo! Men are wired to like women- period."

Yeah I couldn't believe he had the nerve to say that one.lol I mean seriously most of those bw in single parent homes are hardcore because they have to be both the mother and the father. Duh

Oh yes everyone I started a blog for black women interested in making movies/ filmmaking or at least taking control of black women's image.

http://blackwolmenmakingmovies.blogspot.com/

I started this blog because we seriously need to control our image and show bw and bgs that we are beautiful. Anways if anyones interested check it out.

sky said...

Aphrodite, everything you posted was on point!

Sara I think this post touched a lot of nerves, that's why these dbrbm are coming this way. Too much truth to it!

anon said...

"Only problem is, you've subscribed to the feminist gender separatist hate mongering ideology and no matter how much material possessions you've accomplished, you still can't find HAPPINESS living ALONE."

I knew the feminist blame train was on it's way. I notice this pattern w/ ya'll. If you can't blame bw, wm, or discourage them from dating out blame it on feminism.Laughable!


Also note ladies that I find that ONLY bm discourage "their" women from getting an education, cause they fear of us being alone (aww how thoughtful *sarcasm*). They sound like 3 yr olds "just because you have an education don't mean nothing! (said in a childish voice). I believe the ones complaining about women getting an education are the ones not getting educated themselves. For every non-bm that I have dated they never once utter a concern/dismayed the fact that I was educating myself, infact many gave me some ideas and tips to reach my goal.


"Many of you are going to turn to sperm donors, fertility clinics and adoption agencies to have kids"

BW already been going there they're called Black Men.

Taylor-Sara said...

Cool splash! Girl that's wonderful-I've been advocating for that for a loooooong time! But I completely lack the talent to do something like that. I'm so glad you're doing it. I will get you on the sidebar as soon as you are up and running (let me know) So proud of you!

Anonymous said...

@Taylor

"Rocky, I deleted your posts because as usual they add nothing of relevance to our discussion. As I have told you and many others many times. THIS IS A BW'S BOARD! There are plenty of bm boards for you to go to air your grievances. We are not particularly interested..."

You're a coward. Rocky always on point.

Taylor-Sara said...

Anon said...

You're a coward. Rocky always on point.


Ok Rocky, like we don't know that's you....

Like I keep telling you all. This is OUR space to discuss whatever WE WANT to discuss. I just don't get why yall are here!

Anonymous said...

DBR Rocky is obsessed with you sara, and considering there is an article on his blog saying that you and evia are fixated on them, it appears the fixation is on his side, since he cant seem to stay away from you.

talk about projection!

Anonymous said...

@sky

"Also note ladies that I find that ONLY bm discourage "their" women from getting an education, cause they fear of us being alone (aww how thoughtful *sarcasm*)."

Liar. Only the asian man like those calling themselves taliban have discouraged their women from education and burn down their schools and attack them. I know of no black man in the western hemisphere that hate their women being educated.

Welcome said...

sorry here is the correct adress

http://blackwomenmakingmovies.blogspot.com/

the other is http://blackwolmenmakingmovies.blogspot.com/

I'm now trying to figure out how to delete the jacked up one.lol

Thank you. I realized I am very passionate about this and need to make a blog. I made a yahoo group that turned into something I didn't want it to. I didn't know how to say if you don't like it then don't this isn't the group for you to appease bp. Now I'm learning and know better.

Anonymous said...

U actually think rocky is the only dude who drops opinion here? tsk tsk.

Anonymous said...

I think I spotted a "False friend".

BW please beware. Some of your "Supporters" are full of garbage.

sky said...

anon. 6:43

"Liar. Only the asian man like those calling themselves taliban have discouraged their women from education and burn down their schools and attack them. I know of no black man in the western hemisphere that hate their women being educated."

where did I say HATE. I said discourage. and you certainly can't compare bm to asian men, espeically since asians are known for valuing education at a all time high! why you mentioned asian talbian is beyond me. And it's not only bw they discourage but even *gasp* bm "o you actin' white, n*gga you don't need no education, sell-out, uncle tom!" sound familiar?


funny how you did not mention some of the men in Africa, who's goal is to marry their daughters at young age by the time they reach age 13. Why do you think Oprah built a school for girls in Africa? You think she did it for fun?


I even gave testimony of the difference between the men I've dated. Not to mention the countless women who have told me the same thing time and time again, that the minute education is even mentioned there comes their excuses "just because you have an education don't mean nothing", hell you can scroll up and read them for yourself the few bm who have already posted here, and then tell me that sh*t again.

How many times have you heard women say "he's intimidated by education/success" probably more times than you can count. It is not said for no reason. I will say it again I find that ONLY bm discourage "their" women from getting an education, cause they fear of us being alone (aww how thoughtful *sarcasm*).

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

"Many of you are going to turn to sperm donors, fertility clinics and adoption agencies to have kids"

BW already been going there they're called Black Men.
---

LOLOLOL...(catching a breath)..LOLOLOL!!

Moorena

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Taylor-Sara said...

Whatever Mr L.
I deleted your nonsense in que.
And you are on a bw's site because??? (crickets churping)

Every time yall show up over hear screaming about what we say (which is none of your business) you show how much you just can't stand for bw to go on about their business in peace. I'm eating popcorn too, while me and honey are laughing at you....

Anonymous said...

"Divesting from black men? Old news......


Like I said the gravy train is coming to an end! You will no longer have BW as collective footstools.


You don't get to articulate/define my experience as a black female. You can overlayer as many stereotypes and project as much bull as you wish 'casue that's all the new KKK can do. They can't actually see their potential victims as human or individuals - they have to rob them of that to make it easier to attack them.


You and your blatant human rights violating Taliban envying DBRBM can hike it elsewhere and kick rocks! If you want something to control - try your collective destiny for a change instead of coming onto blogs that are not designed for you, where you are not wanted, and where no one cares what you think.

Tell it to someone who cares boo.


"That's the hatred that you dbr bw in the hood being feeding to the brothers, and willfully playing on their insecurities and antagonizing them to the point of rage. "


This is laughable. I don't hate BM. I am indifferent to the majority of them. I avoid places where I know they will be - especially in large numbers. If I don't acknowledge them with eye contact and have removed myself from their presence what in the hell makes you think that I am going to take the time to engage in a conversation with one?? Much less stop to lecture some unknown strange BM who more than likely will try to slit my throat?

But of course DBR BM you are- all women want you, they all want to talk to you....

No thank you! I clutch my purse and keep it moving at a fast clip. I have 911 on speed dial on my cell phone.


I tell you what I do boo. I call the cops on BM loiterers, I call the cops and file police reports whenever I see suspicious BM activity in my 'hood'.

Ironically the neighborhood bordering my 'hood' has just been declared a historic neighborhood and there are more white people moving in bringing enhanced services with them. In addition to that they are slated to build new condos directly in my 'hood'.

So imagine that. The de white mens be right at my door boo. I won't have to even leave the house to look for a date!


"That's what you been doing with boys in the schools to make the schools less boy-friendly and hurt their academic performance and career prospects, so we have all these angry blue collar men with pent-up rage and disrespectful of you, isn't it?"


Blame all on the BW! BW didn't do anything of the sort. You had the same chances that everyone else did boo. Your failures are your own. If you are blue collar and mad that is your problem.


I can't believe what a moron you are! Like BW held a BW's meeting and all said- hey lets go down to all the school boards across America....you are a sad sorry piece... It is past you medication time.



"no boy child to torment all his days."


Is this a personal cry for help? If so, you should direct it Dr. Phil or Oprah or somebody bc well I don't care.


BW are moving away from DBRBM so that their boys will have fathers and men in their lives. I can't think of anything more tormenting than a group of men who abandon its boys - oh and kill them the way DBRBM do.


Thrown any male toddlers from a moving car on a freeway lately? Beat your girlfriend's newborn to death in da hood while babysitting and then turn around and ask her if she is going to abort the one she is carrying for you in retaliation? Ever killed a kid and drove around with the body in the trunk to avoid paying child support? So now it has gone from drive by shootings to just all around bloody mayhem.


I am sure there is a BW who has committed an atrocity against her children, but from the headlines you DBRBM are really taking the cake.

Cry me a blue collar rage river! Really! Considering what BW and their children have endured and dealt with I don't care about your non issues.

Anonymous said...

And another thing I almost forgot.


"Get your white sperm. They're now being sold at discount. White guys are becoming blue collar and need the dough."



Again what is it with the peen fascination? We all know how horrible DBRBM are in bed. So what gives?


Do you want to BE a WM or nonBM so you can have a White peen or are you greedy and just WANT (side eye) the White peen all to yourself?


I don't know... all the peen allusions are looking suspect. I can't imagine WM and other nonBM sitting around making all these peen comments about BM or other men's peens period! LOL


Are you a DL-DBR-BM? (side eye)

sky said...

I really need to know where ya'll are getting your info from. This is def. the new blame game.

anon 8:01 said.

Not at all. The common factor is FEMINISM.

yes all of your troubles is geared to feminism, yeah that'll solve all the problems. Gee tell us how is that other men of other races can compete in their careers, yet bm suddenly can't compete due to feminism?


"The popular notion with the feminist woman is that NO MAN IS NEEDED. They have their careers and making serious dough, so they are BOTH the mother and father, so man is not needed. Just give me a kid, you're free to go. INDEPENDENT WOMAN. Don't need shit from no man. Bye Boo!"

Please read your history books, feminism was created so that women could have a equal chance in job employment and among other things. Many women espeically during vietnam were left alone while their husbands were gone off to war. There was no steady income coming in. so women HAD to work, but they were paid far less. not to mention that if the husband should die, the woman would own nothing that belong to the both of them, so the mother and children were now homeless and pennyless. Women wanted equally opportunites and be able to own things of their own without having to have a man present. that doesn't mean they didn't want a man at all.


I think what you're trying to say is that YOU want to feel needed. this has nothing to do w/ feminism.


"All of a sudden you feminist are back to talking about MARRIAGE."

um this isn't sudden, feminist does not equate no marriage, so I don't know where you go that from. There are some feminist who don't want to get married, like you.

Plus I don't see why you would be baffled that bw want to get married. they always have, ya'll were too busy being P.Diddy for a day-years.


"LOL. You didn't say marriage was a PATRIARCHAL INSTITUTION THAT OPPRESSED WOMEN?"

I know a lot women in my circle never said that, they just want equal opportunity.

"And now you want a ring? You want to get married? Tired of trying to be the man? Or now you want the man to take your name?"

I don't know any woman who didn't want to get married. Just didn't want to get married to the wrong man. and it sounds like you could never be marriage material so i don't know why marriage would even concern you.

"Bye boo! I'll stay single and keep my sanity."

you are not the fist bm to say this and certainly not the last. so don't get mad if bw want to date outside of their race and *gasp* MARRY THEM TOO!

"Get your white sperm."

Last i checked the color of sperm is white, if yours isn't go get checked.

"They're now being sold at discount."

you should know right.

"White guys are becoming blue collar and need the dough."

lol at least they are working and they know what they need.


Here's my question, let us say that all of the bw suddenly stopped advocating feminism in whatever shape or form; we don't work, we cook, we clean, whatever else (as if we don't do that along side work *eye roll*) what in return are bm going to give us? because you see stay at home moms or housewives have the luxury of staying home because SOMEONE is bringing in the INCOME, that someone would be the HUSBAND not the baby daddy the HUSBAND who by the way has a STEADY CAREER not a job.And since many of you like this guy here who said "I'll stay single and keep my sanity." what are we getting in return when we suddenly stop working?

I have yet to hear what would happen if bw stop this "evil" feminisitic view or lifestyle that suddenly all things in the bc would be "normal".

questions of the day for bm who blame feminism: If bw were to give up feministic views/lifestyle what would bm give in return? how would stopping feminism uplift the black community? what role would bm play after bw no longer had a role in feminism and no longer worked?

Sandra77 said...

Sara, congratulations - you have struck a nerve among some black men! Do a Katt Williams and get you some more enemies by the end of the summer! They are evidently feeling the heat of this post and the accumulation of your posts, Sara. They feel threatened and don't know what to do with themselves but try to threaten back. I'm glad you're deleting most of their posts so that they aren't given the chance to derail this post or this blog. But I must say it's interesting to see how much these black men's worlds are being rocked by you, Sara and the women like you on this blog. They are desperate to convince us that we are nothing without them. The problem is that we've already seen that the truth is we're nothing WITH them - that's why we're divesting! Keep up the good work, Sara.

Anonymous said...

@Sandra77

"...They feel threatened and don't know what to do with themselves but try to threaten back. I'm glad you're deleting most of their posts so that they aren't given the chance to derail this post or this blog. But I must say it's interesting to see how much these black men's worlds are being rocked by you, Sara and the women like you on this blog."

Self-importance is a hell of a thing isn't it? If the men posting here are the one's feeling threatened why delete their post. If our world is being rocked and you have the upper hand why even think that we could derail your blog? There are other blogs run by bm discussing the same issue and they rarely delete posts because it has an opposing point of view. You're the ones who are embittered and feeling left out and are on the defensive. And all you can do is heap scorn on bm everyday.

"They are desperate to convince us that we are nothing without them. The problem is that we've already seen that the truth is we're nothing WITH them - that's why we're divesting! Keep up the good work, Sara."

I thought the divesting was already done? I cant see what investment any feminist black woman has in any black man. How about divesting the bm from your conversations? That's the only divestment I see remaining. Do it and prove that you are everything without us.

Harmony said...

Wow, Aphrodite, your posts are on point!

I never seen so many black men posting on here until this posts,btw.

Welcome said...

Dude why are you on a blog geared to bw/ir? Now that's just trippy. Seriously how many bw go so far as to hang out in a bm/ww blog/group in order to argue in a place that's not even about or for them. This is so silly.

Rocky said...
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Taylor-Sara said...

Anon. I will tell why I am deleting posts from bm. uh.... because THIS IS A BW'S BLOG!! and there is no reason for all these men to come here! There are a million blogs(exaggerating-but there are alot) out there geared to bm. So once again - Why are they coming here??? Never do I go to their sites and harrass them, but I always have to deal with them coming to harrass me. I guess they think this will make me go away-I can assure you -It won't....

Welcome said...

Well this is mos def showing that Sarah's, Evia's, Halima, Pinky, Gina, Khadija, CW, dawnali and now a new fav blindianlove and many more are working.

What's happening is more black girls and women are reading the bw/ir and empowerment blogs and forums and seeing that bm aren't their only option. They are also learning that men of other races see them as attractive contrary to what the bc tells them.

Not only are these blogs and forums(which I am so grateful for you all)but these ugly videos on YT are also helping in a way these DBRs never imagined. Dawnali made a post about this in her forum. Not only are bw through YT seeing and hearing how bm really feel about bw they are noticing this as well on the street because of the exposure of videos online (and they have your posts to learn how to as well.)they can now identify what that feeling is that was always there they just couldn't put a finger on.

So dude go on about da ebil white man and how they keep you down. Tell black women this all on YT or wherever you can and link to this site so you can prove how much we have lost our minds and many bw (although they are saying this with you)can come here and learn the real truth especially the way sista's have worked to get degrees while raising children while working numerous jobs with no bm in sight.

Rocky said...
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Rocky said...
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Taylor-Sara said...

Anon. To tell you the truth, I hate all the fighting as well. That's not what I want the site to be about. I want it to be a place where bw can come and talk about everything and anything that might be on their minds. That's why I have asked (time and again) for the 'brothas' to leave us in peace. (like we do them-on their site) As you can see, They keep coming trying to derail our discussion, and I'm starting to beleive they just don't want us to be ABLE to discuss ANYTHING!! What they need to be doing, instead of harrassing us, is having discussions (amongst themselves) on how to rectify their lives, communities, and reputations. We often discuss ways to better ourselves. -I don't think I've heard one bm bring that up yet! Instead all I hear is whining and blame-as usual. Women are to blame they are not doing well in schoo. Women are to blame they can't take care of their children, women are to blame the bm crime rate is through the roof etc etc etc. We Women have NEVER had that much power! I encourage bw to fight back against assaults by bm, not because of wm! But because they are being ASSAULTED!! Bm have shown they have no respect, love, compassion, or empathy for bw. If they did, we bw would not have to speak out about bw/babies being raped, thrown from cars, murdered for marrying a wm, chased down and shot for not giving a bm your number. Having garbage (called rap) made in which bw are referred to by the ugliest terms imaginable, etc. If bm had any good intentions toward bw at all- THEY WOULD SPEAK OUT ABOUT THIS DEPLORABLE BEHAVIOR!! And the constant cover up that goes on in the bc to 'protect a brotha' I don't think you could find a whole group of wm WILLING to make 'songs' disrespecting, and dehumanizing ww!! First of all, other wm would come from the woodwork, and kick their asses! and 2nd, no wh. record company would be willing to endorse/play it. See in the wc. they think women are something special-something 'brothas' would not know anything about. I'm sorry if it sounds like I hate them. I don't, but I beleive in calling ppl on their shyt. The behavior of bm toward the women of their race is something straight out of a horror movie! It's almost incredulous! You have never seen mysogyny in full force until you spend some time in the hood.... So I don't see it as putting bm down. I see it as letting bw know that they don't deserve to be treated this way, and they need to just move on
...

Taylor-Sara said...

Rocky, the funny thing is: you would not know what my blog was talking about if you did not have your nosey self on here-monitoring what we are saying!

Rocky said...
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Taylor-Sara said...

Rocky, there was nothing made up in that post and you know it. Everything I mentioned came from current headlines.. And as far as this blog being on the www-so what! Your blog is on the www as well, and yet I have NEVER been to it. -See how easy that is?
Now please go away!

Cinn said...

Sara, you really should consider privatizing! This post was supposed to be about blk women and self esteem, and yet somehow it became about bm -as usual-
This is why C1 went private, and I think it's working well for him. Now they can post in peace-but we can't....

Welcome said...

Is he still on blogger. I wondered what happened to him.

sky said...

cool_splash1 said...

"Not only are these blogs and forums(which I am so grateful for you all)but these ugly videos on YT are also helping in a way these DBRs never imagined. Dawnali made a post about this in her forum. Not only are bw through YT seeing and hearing how bm really feel about bw they are noticing this as well on the street because of the exposure of videos online (and they have your posts to learn how to as well.)they can now identify what that feeling is that was always there they just couldn't put a finger on."

Yep, it certainly opened my eyes and plenty of other bw. It's funny they created those vids to make us look bad, but instead it did the exact opposite plus a bonus of bw moving on! along w/ their complaints of too many IR vids on YT that bw are promoting. what exactly did they think we were going to promote...bm bashing bw? please moving on!

where did i read it again where it says "when someone digs a grave for you, they are really digging it for themselves" how true.

Ari said...

Sara, why don't you just delete the comments? I don't see why you have to post them......

Taylor-Sara said...

I don't Ari, but sometimes when I try to delete too many, blogger will delete some of my own readers as well....I'm actually tired from deleting from this post.I must have done over 30!

Anonymous said...

@Ari

"Sara, why don't you just delete the comments? I don't see why you have to post them......"

You think anyone accused of a crime should be tried and sentence without given a chance to defend themselves. You put bm on trial here everyday, but the accused should remain mute? If a black man ever waits on a bigot to hand him justice, he'll rot in hell before that happens.

Anonymous said...
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LorMarie said...

Regarding the list and bw's self-image, here is what helps me and it may help other bw:

I admitted to the sexist nature of blacks (in favor of bm) at around 2002. Now, I am at the point where the nature of many bm has led me to want absolutely NO SOLIDARITY with them as a group. Individual bm who are about gender justice for women and men I will gladly embrace. I even look at bm differently now. I am NOT "their women" nor their "female counterpart" but a woman all in my own right. I don't even react the same way when I hear about so called police brutality or interracial violence against them. For example, there was a case where a bm had a violent incident with a group latinos and he ended up in the hospital (NY). A long time ago I would have sided with the bm, but now, I wait until I get all the facts since the bm could have started trouble (just like they do with Rihanna and other bw who are victims of bm).

When that black guy was thrown out of his car and beaten by white cops while passed out, even then I didn't assume he was a real victim. I wanted to wait and see. Lo and behold this bm had actually tried to run over a cop before the chase. He brought all of it on himself but that part is often left out. A long time ago, I would have taken up for the bm simply because he's black and supposedly the victim of a racist society (Yawn).

Even if some huge racial conflict came down the pipe (another Rodney King or worse) I will NOT jump on the side of bm as a group. My mind has truly been set free.

So I think that we who believe in improving our image need to change the way we think about bm. The only bm we should be in solidarity with are our bm family members and friends. All others are and should remain "strangers."

I will work to convince as many bw as possible.

Taylor-Sara said...

Anon. 7:48
I deleted your other two comments because they said pretty much the same thing. My question for you is: Why in the world would you be on an obscure little blog fighting the image we have of bm, instead of out in the world fighting the image THEY have of you???
Surely your time and effort is better put toward the advancement of you and your counterparts. The second point I want to make is, the point of this blog is not to smear bm. The point is the betterment of bw. Sometimes that means making bw aware of the behaviors, attitudes and mindset of bm, and how they relate to bw.

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...
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lynn said...

Sara,
I'm aware that this is a bw's forum (lord knows you say it enough) but I don't think it's fair to delete the comments of the bm, esp. if they are not rude or out of line. It just feels wrong. I mean there are two sides to every story. Why would you do that? You are always endorsing fairness!

Rashida said...

Sarah,

I am new to your blog space and just have a few questions for you. I hope you can have an honest discussion with me and not delete this post.

If black women need to "go for self" and detach themselves from BM, you also seem to believe that BW need to re-attach themselves to white men. I think you agree that no society can exist and function normally without healthy, able-bodied, men. So while black women are "detaching" are they just supposed to go out on their own? Even white women admit that they still need men hence their worry about finding a husband once they reach 30. Sex and the City and countless other tv shows and films are popular because women can relate to the pitfalls of waiting too long to find a husband. So basically most women are looking for husbands. Few women are really looking to be single for life just "doing for them".

So....basically you are telling black women to replace one form of worship (nothing but a BM) with another form of worship ("ANY" man who will do and be exactly what I want and preferably a white man because there are so few black men that will ever make the cut)?

This "movement" is not about empowering black women. It is about re-assigning worship. Don't you think that the reason a lot of black women aren't married is because they either don't value marriage and didn't make it a priority or they are not marriage material? Why not focus on getting black women up to speed on what is needed to be a good wife and the preparations they need to make with themselves to be able to fulfill that role. You can't honestly believe that all these single black women "deserve" husbands, do you? You can't honestly take your experience as a black woman and then claim that you KNOW that there are a lot of deserving black women out there? Have you ever been in an intimate relationship with a black woman? So how do you know that all these women deserve anything?

And to silence the folks who have been in intimate relationships with black women (BM!) because they are saying things that will hurt your movement is simply childish and dishonest.

Not all BW are victims of black male supremacy. Some are, but not nearly enough to fill that 70% single statistic.

BW need to change a lot about themselves before they should even be entertaining the idea of being someone's wife. Yes, this is true. Harsh, but true.

You cant post pictures and then claim that this can be a reality for anyone out there. Do you know the PERSONALITIES of the women in your sidebar? Do you know how they actually TREAT their husbands? A picture is just that, a picture. Just like you can't assume that a black man is self-hating because he is pictured with a woman who is not Alex Wec.

This blog has zero perspective and is total propaganda. You are doing black women a disservice.

Taylor-Sara said...

First of all Rashida, obviously you have not read me much, because you don't know me at all!
BW have been without functioning and able-bodied men for years! Where the hell have you been? Who do you think has been carrying the blk race in the last 20 or so years! What I recommend is that bw attach themselves to ANY man who will give them the love, respect, committment, and support they deserve -regardless of race! If she should find this in a bm-wonderful-some women actually do albeit -they are usually bright skinned sistas with long straight hair -but that's another story.
The point is I don't think bw should LIMIT themselves. If you have not noticed, bm will date across the board. Race seems to be a non issue with them. Bw need to do the same. IOWs you don't need a black man. You only need a GOOD man! Race should be a non-issue. As far as women needing men to survive. I think we are complete human beings already. I don't think we need men to survive, we merely need them for quality of life....

Anonymous said...

Nice try, Rashid...Oops, I mean Rashida!

Taylor-Sara said...

Hi Lynn
I understand your concerns but did you notice how when I tried to let some of them speak they tried to completely take over the discussion? What you did not see were some of the deleted posts. The ones I deleted in que were mostly vile, filthy, and steeped in hatred. The ones I deleted from the blog were designed to keep us off track, and continue in an aimless circle of debate. Trust me I don't like to delete ppl either. (except disgusting ones) it bothers me a great deal, but if I let every person post whatever they wanted on this blog-it would be chaos and useless. We'd never get any work done, or accomplish anything. Bm need to just forget about what we might think, and focus on coming together, and bettering themselves. This will serve them far more than getting upset that we don't think they are God's gift to the world...

Welcome said...

Sex and the City and countless other tv shows and films are popular because women can relate to the pitfalls of waiting too long to find a husband.

Oh please. Yes women have a hard time we all do, but look at Sex and the City, even shows like Friends. Rachael and Rossalthough fun on the show would suck in real life. I mean going back and forth when she could have had other men who in fact did like her. I can't remember the exact beginning, but she was about to be married and left him for adventure or whatever and of course a back and forth relationship with Ross.

You have to remember these are tv shows, movies. They are fictional versions of the world in order to make money. You can make anything seem real if you want to. I mean look at Bollywood you think people in India are all that fair in big houses singing and dancing, buying high costing Kurtas and Saris. If TV and movies were real we'd all be falling in love within a week either moving in or getting married by Sunday.lol

This "movement" is not about empowering black women. It is about re-assigning worship.

No it's about black women knowing that they have options. That the whole only black men find you desirable, but don't even want you is false bs. Black women and girls are learning that they are desirable by men of every culture as everyone of every culture is.

Have you ever been in an intimate relationship with a black woman?

Well what woman hasn't? I don't mean in the sexual or romance since. But you have to remember women are more intimate with other women. We tell each other things I don't think guys would get into with each other. And the fact that you have to question whether someone deserves love or not says lots about you.

Not all BW are victims of black male supremacy. Some are, but not nearly enough to fill that 70% single statistic.

The fact that we have a 70% single statistic should tell you something don't smell right.

Welcome said...

You cant post pictures and then claim that this can be a reality for anyone out there. Do you know the PERSONALITIES of the women in your sidebar? Do you know how they actually TREAT their husbands? A picture is just that, a picture. Just like you can't assume that a black man is self-hating because he is pictured with a woman who is not Alex Wec.

Of course this can be any womans' reality. That's ridiculous. Now go tell all those kids that that they can't be anything if they put their minds to it. See where it gets you. Hell you wouldn't be where you are if someone didn't tell you that. Even if you didn't become President or the King of Camelot. Someone telling you that you could made you push yourself. The point is any reality can be yours because we make our own realities or have the power.

And why are you worried about personalities? What does that have to do with anything, and with you no less? Seriously that question is off the chain. How do they treat their husbands? What is it to you? Dude white women can treat their husbands like shit, but they don't blame them for them not getting a job. You have many that have been married for years. Yes you have the ones who say American women are feminist unfeminine crap, but that's usually the men who are really pathetic anyway. What's funny is when they marry so called docile women from other countries and those women are the hard-core ballbusters they are always bitching that American women are.lol Or they kill their asses. Frankly I think the question is an insult to black women. Are you trying to say that black women have to treat men a certain way or be a certain way, because if that's the case then that means that you are saying all men think a certain way. Then the question is how do you know that all men think a certain way? Do you know all men? Have you been intimate with all men or any man?

Lynn have you ever wondered why this blog and Evia's and Halimas and countless others haven't dropped from existance or just stopped? Because they didn't let the fools through. Just because someone has something to say doesn't mean it should be said. What do you think happened to Black Girls Rule wonderful site. Got taken over by trolls.

This is her site. She can do with it how she feels. Personally I don't want to see messages from people telling me that no one wants me and that if black women were like this or that or like these women they would love us. Bull toad frog Shit. Those men don't want black women because they are not interested in black women. Next think you know they will be bitching about how we wear weaves and perm our hair and how we need to be natural instead of fake etc., and then next thing you know (as has happened before and happening now) they will go after women who look as opposite of what they told black women/girls. What they are scared about is that black women and girls are no longer buying the dead armadillo roadkill shit.

Anonymous said...
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Taylor-Sara said...

Rahida,
I just really read your post just now. I only skimmed it before. You sound like a ranting fool. Do you really think we can't tell for one minute you are a bm 'posing!' You are so transparent! First of all fool, ANY decent person DESERVES love! What kind of a obtuse fool doesn't know that. Second, why should bw rearrange their lives to be with men who have made it very clear that they don't want to be with them!!! Only a inbred idiot keeps on trying the same thing over and over to get a different result! None of your ridiculous, and specious arguments make a bit of sense. What the hell does the personality of ramdom women have to do with them deserving a good loving husband? ALL women deserve a good mate! And my readers (who are a lot smarter than you) know that the pictures only serve to demonstate that many wm find bw of various color, shape, size, and hair length desirable and marriage worthy. And as far as whether or not I post comments -well that's none of your damn business! You're not one of my readers-so your opinion does not count here. You've got a lot of nerve coming to a place where you were not invited in the first place-and trying to cast aspersion. Good bye and good day, Rashid....

Taylor-Sara said...

Rashid/Rashida
How long did it take you to write that drivel? Because it took me all of 2 seconds to delete it. As I've said many times, this blog is NOT for everyone.
And obviously it's not for you (that's ok ppl want different things in life) But now I'm telling you to get the hell off my blog. You have made it clear that you are only here in the capacity of a shit-starter. And thank you very much, but we already have enough of those. So happy trails...

sky said...

Rashida said...

"Don't you think that the reason a lot of black women aren't married is because they either don't value marriage and didn't make it a priority or they are not marriage material? Why not focus on getting black women up to speed on what is needed to be a good wife and the preparations they need to make with themselves to be able to fulfill that role. You can't honestly believe that all these single black women "deserve" husbands, do you? "

I absolutely hate this kind of talk, espeically since that's all I ever hear for black women on the pulpit.

Whenever I go to a multiracial church and the subject of singleness/marriage comes up this talk is never brought up! Instead it is "while you're dating, pray that the Lord will reveal the man to you. Ask Him if this man is for you and vice-versa". They'll even have single retreats and things made up for singles. Not once have I heard about "praying and waiting", only in the black church.

"Don't you think that the reason a lot of black women aren't married is because they either don't value marriage and didn't make it a priority or they are not marriage material?"

Why is this ALWAYS assumed of bw? first off in order for bw to be married espeically those who want to be married to their "black prince/king" would first need to be ASKED to be married by these men. The question is do bm value marriage, like other groups of men? Many bm like the poster above don't even want to be married. Because they believe that it's just a piece of paper or the woman is only in it for the money or to "keep their sanity" so there goes their value of marriage.

I know plenty marriage-minded bw who want nothing more than to be married, including myself. My friends tell me all the time that one day I'm going to make a good wife/mother. Mind you I never prepared myself to be either, what I am doing is establishing my career so that when I do have a family they can be finanically stable. And because I'm not worried about the next cheque coming in I can be there for them emotionally as well. I want a family in a secured home and I expect the same from my husband.

Like I said I know plenty of marriage-minded bw who want to be married they either A. Still waiting or B. their boyfriends are stringing them along for 5+ yrs, playing house and have no intentions of marrying them/ they might just drag him to the altar and who wants that?

"Why not focus on getting black women up to speed on what is needed to be a good wife and the preparations they need to make with themselves to be able to fulfill that role. "

Pillow talk. How many of us know bw out there who are good nuturing women and assumed that they were married but were not and are "still waitin' on a good bm?" (go to an all black church and you'll see for yourself). And who is EVER prepared to be a good wife? what consitutes a good wife anyway? This type of talk is another way of saying that there is something wrong with bw and unlike other women they need preparation since marriage,love, and mothering isn't 2nd nature to them. Are the men preparing themselves to be a good husband? or does that come automatically for them? please.


"You can't honestly believe that all these single black women "deserve" husbands, do you?"

What makes you think they/we are not deserving of it? This is another form of "maybe you have the gift of singleness" or "you're not good enough for marriage, but I'll f**k you and take your hard earned money". Only bw are given this type of talk. BW like all women ARE DESERVING OF MARRIAGE. If you don't like it, stick you head in the sand.

Anonymous said...

Hi Lynn,


Fairness is only to be extended to those who reciprocate.


This is Sara's space. These male trolls came in uninvited and literally defecated all over her house. These men were attacking, hostile and demeaning. Allowing someone to crap on your carpet in the name of being fair is a raw deal to me.

Sandra77 said...

Sara, I totally disagree with Lynn and co-sign with Cool Splash. This is your blog and it is not a democracy - you make the rules! If these bm need to express themselves, they have tons of bm and anti-bw websites to go post on - they don't have to come here. Or let them start their own blogs. I really don't care what the DBR have to say or where they say it - as long as it's not here! They come here to try to hijack your blog and to bully bw - just like they do in their offline lives. They're doing exactly what you described in your post about the young black woman being bullied by her black male cousin into giving him the money she had to work hard for. Please don't give these DBR bullies free reign on this blog. If you do, they will ruin your blog and it will no longer be a forum/haven for BW.

Anonymous said...

Rashida, girl, I see you boo! I got an intervention/ deprogramming session with your name on it!


The funny thing is that Rashida is soo classic. Halima has posted about this kind of woman. At least s/he has the common sense to know that worship is what legions of nuttin but a BM type BW are doing. The gravy train must end!


"If black women need to "go for self" and detach themselves from BM, you also seem to believe that BW need to re-attach themselves to white men. I think you agree that no society can exist and function normally without healthy, able-bodied, men. So while black women are "detaching" are they just supposed to go out on their own?"



I don't understand this line of thought. Number 1 no one said you must be with a White man!

Number 2 there must be a warm sandy hole that you stuck you head in on a beach somewhere for the last 30 years or so.

BW are already 'going for self' and the majority not by choice. The majority of BW are already on their own. That is the problem. No able bodied male protectors and providers. Did you miss all the memos and PSAs about Save the BM for the past 20 years?


It must be warm & comfortable in that sandy hole - is the Black Community functioning to you right about now? Maybe you have special eyes and can see things I can't. The Black community has all but collapsed.


You speak as if there are legions of able bodied BM stepping up to the plate and performing their roles as men. They are not. BW outnumber BM in many cities anywhere from 6:1 if not more. You can't get blood from a turnip.

In the meantime wonderful eligible BW are wasting drying up on the vine.


"Even white women admit that they still need men hence their worry about finding a husband once they reach 30. Sex and the City and countless other tv shows and films are popular because women can relate to the pitfalls of waiting too long to find a husband. So basically most women are looking for husbands. Few women are really looking to be single for life just "doing for them"."




Where did you get this "be single" message? This is no where on this board. I am thinking someone didn't read and comprehend very well.



"So....basically you are telling black women to replace one form of worship (nothing but a BM) with another form of worship ("ANY" man who will do and be exactly what I want and preferably a white man because there are so few black men that will ever make the cut)?"




I want to get in the sandy hole too. It must be nice in there. It has to be. No one is advocating the worship of any man, but like I said, at least at least you can call BM worship what it is. And yes- what sane person of any gender marries an individual who is not what they want or does not exhibit the behaviors that they desire and that are conducive to having a successful highly compatible relationship? Who says I want to marry my antagonist and someone wholly incompatible with me?


Um Yes, it may be new, and threatening for some but the days of the race to the bottom- barrel scraping for any old thang will do are over.

BW are entitled to have standards! Fancy that! Does that bother you Rashida? BW having standards and daring to declare and enforce them? Why would that bother you as a woman? Wouldn't that be to your advantage?

Anonymous said...

As far as BM making the cut why mince words? If there are ratios of 6:1 or even greater imbalances - where are the other five women going to find husbands from? Assuming that the 1 man will want to marry and can be faithful. Will there be a reverse rapture where God will drop down the extra men from the sky?

What's your solution boo?


"This "movement" is not about empowering black women. It is about re-assigning worship. Don't you think that the reason a lot of black women aren't married is because they either don't value marriage and didn't make it a priority or they are not marriage material? Why not focus on getting black women up to speed on what is needed to be a good wife and the preparations they need to make with themselves to be able to fulfill that role. You can't honestly believe that all these single black women "deserve" husbands, do you? You can't honestly take your experience as a black woman and then claim that you KNOW that there are a lot of deserving black women out there? Have you ever been in an intimate relationship with a black woman? So how do you know that all these women deserve anything?"

"BW need to change a lot about themselves before they should even be entertaining the idea of being someone's wife. Yes, this is true. Harsh, but true."


Why are you campaigning so hard for these unknown no name men? Work it boo to get them head pats from a bunch of losers who care nothing for you. Enjoy those crumbs boo.


Here we go... with the read a book, chant an affirmation and you too will get a BM! Peeps run this ish in the ground! Classic. This is better than TV I tell you.


How in the world did you fix your lips to assume that BW are "undeserving of marriage"?????


I can't... I just can't. I am two steps away from telling you to go to Hades for all that garbage you wrote. You are the strongest male identified woman I have EVER met. Too much testosterone for me!


Work out your own salvation baby. Bye boo! Bye!

Welcome said...

I know you didn't -just- go- there talking about somebody spreading AIDS.

Really especially with the black man who was on youtube reading a list of people he allegedly infected 12,000+ girls/women with HIV. (then to find out his ass is a porn star)But then again this is the same guy that said that he poisoned baby food so that he could kill a big population of Americas black babies. This is a black man.

These people just want attention everyone. They want to post videos so that people will comment on their video and then start responses to it and other videos about how crazy the guy is. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kUvw-81slk&feature=related this is news vid talking about this. Now this is what you call bdbrbm. Hell this dude is on a whole nother level.

Anonymous said...

Hi Cool,



"Really especially with the black man who was on youtube reading a list of people he allegedly infected 12,000+ girls/women with HIV."


I don't know if this is just attention seeking. I do know that there are men who intentionally infect women with diseases.

Gina posted an article where a guy intentionally infected I think 20 women with herpes. He had sex with them during his outbreaks (which he hid from them) and blamed them all for "getting themselves" infected.


Not only that, but I know so many BM who say they don't want to know their status. Or BM who joke and say they have so much more sex now that they are positive than when they were negative.


So I don't think it is beyond a DBRBM to become an HIV machine and try to infect as many people as possible. If a guy is in a large metro area and is pretty mobile especially with the hook up culture- I could see a man easily infecting hundreds of women (say 300 or so) over the course of as little as a year and a half.


I mean think about the large male to female imbalance. Then think about how BM conduct themselves in relationships with BW - including the married ones. They usually try to date/sex 2-3 at a time. Then there is the booty call and the random happenstance sex.


I know of a guy now, don't know if he is positive, who is mooching off the older woman he lives with in a city north of mine (no job, pays no bills or groceries, uses her car), screws random women in his neighborhood, has another "woman" in my city much younger than he is (uses the older woman's car to see her) screws random women in my city, and to top it all off finds the time to see prostitutes.

sky said...

Aphrodite said...

"I know of a guy now, don't know if he is positive, who is mooching off the older woman he lives with in a city north of mine (no job, pays no bills or groceries, uses her car), screws random women in his neighborhood, has another "woman" in my city much younger than he is (uses the older woman's car to see her) screws random women in my city, and to top it all off finds the time to see prostitutes."


An idol mind is the devil's workshop...an idol life is the devil's playground. He literally has nothing better to do.

Anonymous said...

@Sandra77

"Sara, I totally disagree with Lynn and co-sign with Cool Splash. This is your blog and it is not a democracy - you make the rules! If these bm need to express themselves, they have tons of bm and anti-bw websites to go post on - they don't have to come here. Or let them start their own blogs. I really don't care what the DBR have to say or where they say it - as long as it's not here! They come here to try to hijack your blog and to bully bw - just like they do in their offline lives. They're doing exactly what you described in your post about the young black woman being bullied by her black male cousin into giving him the money she had to work hard for. Please don't give these DBR bullies free reign on this blog. If you do, they will ruin your blog and it will no longer be a forum/haven for BW."

What's going on online is what's going on offline in the homes, the workplace and on the streets. feminist bw trash talk bm and when he tries to defend himself he gets cut-off. feminist bw likes one-sided, self-centered blame game monologues.. not dialogues.. creates tension and animosity everywhere and results in tit-for-tat disparaging remarks, violence and gender segregation. O well, there I go getting deleted again. lol.

Lena said...

How many of you ladies are willing to bet if Rashida is a Rashida and not Rashid that she isn't married either LOL!
She's telling us how to be more marriageable while she is not even married to a "good black man" LOL!

Nice try Rashid or Rashida!
You haven't fooled me for a minute.

Taylor-Sara said...

That's just it Anon 7:58
He does not need to defend himself here. (He should not be here anyway-this is a bw's board) He needs to defend himself/rectify himself in out in the WORLD! Many ppl are under the impression that far too many bm are losers. Would it not behoove him to change that opinion in the world instead of worrying about what's on an obscure little blog? I mean the truth is bm need to make some serious changes! This will be extremely hard to accomplish if they are consistently engaged in resisting the issues they are dealing with in the first place.
The problem is NOT us! The whole world thinks bm are insipid, obtuse, and lacking the capacity for common sense. BM need to change their opinion-not ours. Why would our opinion matter so much now? They've never cared before what we thought. Many of us still want bm to do better, to become better, and to be happy. But not at the expense of bw! They need to understand that we can no longer be the fall back fools. Too many sistas have been hurt and the jig is up. Bm are going to have to learn to stand on their own two feet, just like other MEN.... (without us acting as a crutch)

Anonymous said...

Hi Lena,

"How many of you ladies are willing to bet if Rashida is a Rashida and not Rashid that she isn't married either LOL!
She's telling us how to be more marriageable while she is not even married to a "good black man" LOL!"


And you know that! And if she is- Raheem has probably tapped everything within a fifty mile radius of their home! I have actually heard BM say out of their own mouths that all men are dogs - that you can't expect for a BM (referring to themselves) to be faithful! And they are dead serious about it too. Never realizing how animalistic it makes them sound.




Hi Sara,


"He does not need to defend himself here. (He should not be here anyway-this is a bw's board) He needs to defend himself/rectify himself in out in the WORLD! Many ppl are under the impression that far too many bm are losers. Would it not behoove him to change that opinion in the world instead of worrying about what's on an obscure little blog? I mean the truth is bm need to make some serious changes! This will be extremely hard to accomplish if they are consistently engaged in resisting the issues they are dealing with in the first place."


On point!

But I agree that with the first part of his statement though: "What's going on online is what's going on offline in the homes, the workplace and on the streets"


Namely whats going on online and offline is BM's continual assault - their projection/blame/ misplaced anger, rage, hatred, racism and sexism being vented on BW and Girls.


I can't believe that Lynne and Rashida can't see what's wrong with men attacking/"defending" themselves against women. It is always about coming at the women. It is so funny to me that some of these DBRBM called you a coward. My daddy always told me that a coward was a man who attacked/hit a woman.



"He needs to defend himself/rectify himself in out in the WORLD!"

Totally!

Anonymous said...

@Sara You have every right to delete those offensive comments. This is your blog. These black guys come here to tear down black women and try to stop us from seeking to live better lives because we have seen the light. It is so nice for bw to have a place online that we can come without being harassed by bm. If I were you, I wouldn’t even bother writing explanations after you delete their comments. You don’t owe them any explanations.

@Aphrodite
“If us po black wimmins can't get no other mens beside da black mens then why the PSA? I don't see any PSAs telling people that water is wet or that fire is hot - so why are you so concerned if this is such an obvious fact?”

That’s right! I love it! Ha ha! Seems like the bm are getting nervous their harem is gradually shrinking.

Anonymous said...

I thought I was helping this bm at work since he was one of two floor supervisors and I tried to make sure he had all of my paperwork so that he could complete his paperwork. One of the wm supervisors was laughing at him(bm) because there were so much paperwork to keep up with...the wm supervisors will pulled together to assist each other. There is usually one bm supervisor working at a time.
So, flash forward most of the wm supervisors will leave without saying goodbye; however, I (stupid idea)thought that the bm would have been different and would have thanked me for all of my work. Yes, dumb of me and even more dumb for him to follow behind those particular wm supersivors who are basically laughing behind his back.

P.S. Thank goodness all wm are not like these particular floor supervisors.

a.

Anonymous said...

Hey Rashid/Rashida,

The only one doing a disservice here is YOU!

Why are you here?

I seriously doubt this is the “first time” you have come to this blog, and your fear of being “deleted” reveals that. You are chomping at the bit to have your say, aren’t you?

You said:
If black women need to "go for self" and detach themselves from BM……
Response:-What on earth makes you think that many of the BW here are” attached” to random, strange BM we don’t even know?

You said:
you also seem to believe that BW need to re-attach themselves to white men……
Response:- MAYBE…(pause).IF that is the right person for a BW to be with.

You said:
This "movement" is not about empowering black women. It is about re-assigning worship….
Response:- well personally I am not into worship of ANY man, and I doubt Sara is either, but if someone is going to reassign their affection, it SHOULD be to someone who appreciates you, thinks you are beautiful, and wants to be (and is) a wonderful husband to you and an involved, loving and caring father to your children….and a good provider too.

You said:
Why not focus on getting black women up to speed on what is needed to be a good wife and the preparations they need to make with themselves to be able to fulfill that role. You can't honestly believe that all these single black women "deserve" husbands, do you?
Response:- this is how I know you are a man! Only a man (and one with a WARPED mind) would say something like that. EVERY WOMAN is deserving of a PROPER mate…and here you are talking about training women to be good wives…why not go out there and train some of your DBR friends to turn their lives around and do something of significance that does not include rapping (preferably.) Why don’t you “prepare them” to be respectful and protective of ALL women (and especially BW.) Why don’t you encourage them to go to school and learn to speak properly? Why don’t you Rashid, teach them how to be MEN…

You said:
And to silence the folks who have been in intimate relationships with black women (BM!) because they are saying things that will hurt your movement is simply childish and dishonest……
Response: - I assume you are speaking of YOURSELF here...What a surprise. Childish and dishonest is 1) showing up where you are NOT WANTED and demanding attention and 2) dishonesty is pretending to be a first time woman visitor.

Please accept that there are a GREAT number of BW who do not think of BM they don’t know (or care to know) AT ALL…it’s not even personal….nor is it because we have been “hurt” by the BM (lol)…How about this shocking factoid one more time…some of us simply don’t care about YOU. The end (As a side note...we do of course care about SOME of the BM we do know and love, and because of them is why we know we deserve BETTER than the likes of you….and I can say that because only a disgusting person would dare to come here and try to tell us that BW don’t deserve to be wives…well you Sir, don’t deserve to be called a man, and yet that is what you probably label yourself as.

You said:
This blog has zero perspective and is total propaganda. You are doing black women a disservice.
Response: - No, you just don’t like the perspective you SEE here because it is one that does not include YOU. Sara is doing a HUGE service for a great many BW…Everyone does not have to agree with her and that is fine. We have our First Amendment rights to “speak and conduct ourselves” as we wish, and you have the right to turn away and not read ANYTHING we say. Nothing you can say can sway any of us here anyway….so you might as well go away. You want a fight…but a real fight ONLY comes about when someone cares about you…I don’t care about YOU or any other random, unknown BM I don’t know (at least not beyond normal human empathy.)…
I’ve said enough.
YAWN

S said...

To anon - I said this on another blog and that is that these BM want to be WM so bad it hurts!
And it's sick.
One poster talked about how when she saw young black men being harrassed by the police she would let her presence be known and the police would stop and the young black men would look ashamed and even anrgy and hateful at the same black woman who stepped in and helped them - as if their manhood was taken away by them infront of their eyes.
She then said that now when she sees young black men on the streets being victims of police brutality she just walks on by as if nothing...she said she doesn't 'feel anymore' and she said that 'that is where we are now', sad but true.
They are not our brothers, they are strangers just like anyone else and it is time for black women to treat them as such.
Face it, if black men were to be more successfull it wouldn't be better for black women, it would be worse.
We see it now already.
Trust me, we are better off in the society we are in.

S said...

Oh and another thing, i never thought i'd see an obviously DBR black man, well maybe...but two?....at the same time?....it was just too much.
I was sitting at an internet cafe and these two black men obviously under influence with two cans of beers in their hands walk in and sit down at one computer close to me.
I didn't look them in the eyes because i know better.
a WM and his white girlfriend were about to leave and looked at the two dbr black guys with shock.....i followed their eyes and saw that on one of these black guys computer screen was porn and he was watching two girls having sex....porn is strictly forbbidden at the internet cafe....the wm and the ww looked at me like "those two are disgusting" and kind of gave me a look like "leave before they hurt you, they look dangerous" and i just kind of smiled at them like " i know i know they are disgusting"....the couple left and i proceeded with my work all the while being aware of the "company"...i started to smell something and it was coming from these two guys and i looked at them and one of them was smoking what looked and smelled like a spliff /hasch.
They were being loud and obnoxoius while talking to eachother and i thought about telling them off....but ofcourse i know better than to get myself hurt by these dbr negroes - it's just not worth it. So i thought about calling the police but then i told the girl working there and she looked shocked and said that she would call the police immediately.
After being assured that it would be dealt with, i left.

Please, ladies.
If you ever encounter dbr "men", do something about it.
The law and the police are here for a reason so instead of trying to talk sense with these dbr "men" just call the police.
Don't even hesitate, or tell someone who works near by, anyone who should be aware of what is going on.

BTW - I live in London, and all the black men here are pretty much DBR - no joke. I bet they are worse here than in america.
I swear to god, i just meet worse and worse...they are so damaged it's sad.
I don't associate with them at all and i live in a safe/nice area but i am planing on moving to an even safer and nicer area...
but it's like, here, everywhere you go - there they are. you can't escape them when you live in a big city and even the suit wearing dbr negroes are the same if not worse! because they are arrogant and think because they work in an white enviorment they are white men! it's like these football players get shocked and humiliated when they get called "nigg**er" "moneky" "gorilla" or what not on the field - it's like they think just because they are accomplished their skin colour wont matter. its a true wake up call. but seriously, the black men here are no doubt worse because they believe they aren't really black - it's weird. but visit here just once and you will see what i mean.

Anonymous said...

Sara, major kudos to you. You really gave it to these dbrbm with both barrels with this magnificent and true post. You told the 100% truth about these sick dbrbm parasites, and they can't stand it, which is why they are whining and crying their little eyes out on your blog, lol!

Let's have us a good laugh at their tears girls! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!

Lavette said...

Sara,

Love you keep on doing what you are doing this blog of yours is NEEDED for us and let the haters do their job hate cause that's all they got is hate nothing else.

I do agree with the suggestion of perhaps going private this way you can invite whomever you wish. You've helped me a great deal and for that I thank you!

Taylor-Sara said...

Wow S.
That's crazy! I had no idea. I've never been to london but I really really love the accent. I just thought this damage would only be encountered in American/African Bm. I never thought of it being in a place like London. And you say they are worse than in the US! That's really incredible!

Anonymous said...

@ Sara, You never met an African "some" with their noses turned upwards? Some of them are as she said worst.

a.

S said...

Oh yes, they truly are because as you may have heard - 80 something % of black men in London are in a relationship with a non-black woman.
And this, i believe, makes them think that they are indeed not black.
They think if their partner is white , that that means they are above other black people.
It's sad but true, i didn't believe it at first but really, i am certain that is the mentality they have...you can see it in their faces...also, they believe if they are friends with white guys and are the only black guy in the "gang" that they are "one of the boys" a non threatening "almost white guy".

I have noticed though, they only time they do wake up is when someone points it to them that they are infact black...this can happen on different occasions but usually it happens when they are having a fight with their non black girlfriend.
Often, and i know plenty of white/non black women who are in relationships with black guys - they tend to when in a fight - say things that are demeaning and try to put the black guy down by using his skin colour and the fact that SHE is with HIM (as if she is doing him a favour) as a defense thing.
I don't know if you guys watch jon and kate plus 8? i don't but someone who does said that when they had a fight she used his asian heritage as a negative and i thought it was funny...because it seems like these non black women when witha minority guy think they are better than him and that they are doing him a favour...it's weird.

anyways, yes i do beliveve black guys here are worse but then again i have never been to america, i just have a feeling that they are...atleast here it's an obvoius thing where as i do not think it is such an obvious - in your face - thing over in america.
I could be wrong.

Anonymous said...

@Sara,
One disadvantage of going private is that fewer new black women will hear about your blog. We would have to rely on people telling their friends and acquaintances about the blog, which is quite limiting. For example, a bw who is searching online for information on bw dating interracially (without knowing about your blog beforehand) won’t be able to access the information on your blog. You’d be surprised how many people have stumbled on your blog just because they did a search on google or something. There are so many frustrated black women out there who need to hear the message.

Sandra77 said...

Anonymous, please don't wait for Sara to delete you. Do us all a favor and delete yourself. Nobody cares what you think and you're not going to hijack this blog. You're behaving like a typical DBRBM - trying to bully BW into submission to your will and your point of view. Too late, hon - the women on this blog are already free of you and all DBR's of the world. You're a waste of time, space and words. You can see for yourself that you're convincing no-one on this blog with your opinions, yet you're so out of control that you can't stop yourself from posting here. You are sad. Have a good life, and have it far from me and all the sensible BW of the world.

Anonymous said...

Hi Sara-

I owe you an apology. I happened upon a blog hosted by a male with Queen in his name. To his credit, he has been rather mild in his responses to me. I think it throws him off that I don't become angry or emotional with his laughter inducing backwards theories. I promise, I have never had occassion to use so many "LOL"s as I have while visiting there.

So...for kicks and giggles I decided to tell the truth as I understood it. Plain talk the folks and see what would happen. I also wanted to do my part to shake awake any female readers that may lurk and gobble up his misguided theories.

I also took great pleasure in ticking off the slave catcher women that serve as his cheerleaders. OMG! H-i-l-a-r-i-t-y!

I mentioned this post. It is for this that I apologize. I apologize for causing you to have to delete so many dumb comments.

The upside and there always is one:

I believe, fully, that truth and words do not return void. Even if they are not in a place to admit it right now, I think SOMEONE heard the truth and it may make a difference.

If not...they can continue to go apesh#t! LOL!

Anonymous said...

"Often, and i know plenty of white/non black women who are in relationships with black guys - they tend to when in a fight - say things that are demeaning and try to put the black guy down by using his skin colour and the fact that SHE is with HIM (as if she is doing him a favour) as a defense thing.
I don't know if you guys watch jon and kate plus 8? i don't but someone who does said that when they had a fight she used his asian heritage as a negative and i thought it was funny...because it seems like these non black women when witha minority guy think they are better than him and that they are doing him a favour...it's weird."


This coincides with one of Evia's recent posts. I think she mentioned that someone told her that BM who are in IR use BW as a fall back cultural counterpart when they are "burned" by their partners or when in non black constructs.

Anonymous said...

"Black men have their socio-economic problems and as soon as they dump the emasculated all-inclusive NAACP and form their own "black men only" societies that provide financial assistance, mentoring, business networking and other self-empowerment programs for them and them alone, their lives will be more enriched, and plagued with less social ills."

You must be waiting on your prince to wake you with a kiss, cuz that's one big fairytale you just dreamed up. Well, dream on, but don't hold your breath waiting on that fairytale, cuz it aint gonna happen, Cap'n.

Welcome said...

You know Sara you might want to make an account and make an anti bw/Ir blog site or maybe make some videos on youtube and link all the bw/ir/empowerment blogs (don't know if others would dig it so you would have to get permission.) Hell go to blackplanet and other sites and talk about how much you can't stand blogs like this etc. and then link them etc.

I know I've been thinking about this ever since Evia was talking about how many bw converted after being at SWP's site heard his videos (agreed) saw the links went to them and became followers.

Hey bad publicity is good publicity. Everybody loves them some good controversy. And if you happen to get more bw followers the better.lol

Welcome said...

Oh and btw I bought the Sistah's Rules yes, but I found it cheap. I reread it (it's been years), but I wanted to compare it to The Rules. Well you want to know what the #1 Rule is? Celebrate the Power of the Booty. Yes everyone celebrate the power of the booty. Apparently bm will like you more with a big butt, thick thighs and blackness (as she says)lol
Rule#15 The Way to a Man's Heart is Through a Great Plate of Greens.lol Didn't you know this main.lol
Rule#17 Don't Get All Worked Up Because He Forgot Your Birthday or Buys You Cheap Gifts. So now the guy who doesn't bother to remember my birthday is going to respect me during the relationship? Now the cheap gifts isn't a problem if it's literally thoughtless ish. A card something sweet even if it didn't cost a lot is cool. But something he got just because he wasn't thinking about you is unacceptable in my opinion.
Rule#24 Get to Know His Mama, Get to Know Him (but not See how he treats his mama, this is how he could treat you?) I mean seriously his mama could be mean, nasty etc. and he comes out nice, clean, successful. But what about if he cuses out his mama, hits her etc. doesn't mention that. But we are supposed to look at this guy as marriage potential.

Frankly I would be scared to marry these men if this is what I would have to do to keep them.lol

Oh and remember girls you need to ask them guys out. Don't wait on them even if them not asking you out means they just aren't that into you.lol

Sorry this book is a trip. I just had to get it.lol I got it from HPB so it didn't cost much.

Welcome said...

You know what I wonder if someone writes a book like the Sistah's Rules in Response to a book Like The Rules. I remember this happening all through the ninties and early 2000's. A good book would come out and there would be a black version to it either the next year or a few years later. Funny thing is what happens when the black woman who wrote the book like the Sistah's Rules follows them (they didn't work well for her in the past, but she's still holding on to them)don't work. The then the same woman goes to the original book, follows them, gets married, and all the bw who have read her version, are reading her version, and will read her version are following that when she's broken down read the original and gotten married. Jacked up when you think aobut it. Think about it her followers will think her rules worked when they in fact didn't and keep following her book when she used he original.

Yeah I know just talking. This popped in my head as I was reading some of this book. Just want to know what everyone thinks on this?

sky said...

aphrodite said..

"This coincides with one of Evia's recent posts. I think she mentioned that someone told her that BM who are in IR use BW as a fall back cultural counterpart when they are "burned" by their partners or when in non black constructs."

Reminds me of what Blair Underwood said when some "sistas" were upset that he did a love scene w/ one of the ladies on Sex and the City and what he said stood out the most he said and i quote...

"In terms of the black female audience, usually in your body of work if you've proven that you love your sisters (black women) and will come back home, they will give you a pass when you jump ship. I hear it all the time. I heard, 'We'll get you a pass because we know you're married to a black woman.'"

http://www.starpulse.com/
news/index.php/2008/05/22/blair_underwood_upsets
_black_fans_with_s


I'll leave it at that.

Taylor-Sara said...

Cool splash, that's a great idea (both) Everyone when you are going on internet sites -link to us or mention our blogspot. I know we'll get alot of trolls (who'll be deleted) but we'll also find the women who are looking for us.

Anon. let's don't worry hon. I'm NOT privitizing! Too many women will not be able to locate or get to us....That kind of defeats the purpose.

Welcome said...

Oh yes I forgot something
Rule#5 Get Out of His Wallet

"Of course, in American Society the luck of the draw is in white women's favor. The odds are greater for them that they'll find just that kind of guy-mainly because it's white men who dominate the positions that make them society's top money earners."

Awww da ebil white mens is keeping da po bwack mans down.

"But chances are more likely than not that your Brother Mr. Right is going to be a diamond in the middle-class o ven lower-class rough than he is a Black Prince in a shiny White Mercedes Benz-and you really don't have the kind of time on your hands to be waiting for the latter. What you need to do is get your nose out of his wallet and stop discounting brothers who can't measure up to Cinderella's materialist fantasies."

In other words, black women who want better and men who got their shit straight are gold diggers. See we need to get that man who is that diamooonndd in the rough. In other words Give a Po Brotha a Chance.lol

Goodness I'm glad I forgot about this book. Imagine if I had gotten this book when I was young and imprecionable (which scary when I think about it. This is when I first read it. Didn't buy it though) Once I heard about the Rules I read that. I don't like the idea of having to sleep with a man to keep him. That turned me off when I was young. But wow where would I be if I had used this book the way I do the Rules? Where are other bw who read this when they were young as I did? Even older ones?

Anonymous said...

"You think anyone accused of a crime should be tried and sentence without given a chance to defend themselves. You put bm on trial here everyday, but the accused should remain mute?"

Several of you have your own blogs where you sit back and wait for new posts on this and certain other blogs so you can have something to b@tch about.

Anonymous said...

I think we need to be very careful about what this visitor from London is saying. Because it is doing nothing more than making excuses for Black men in IRs and making them the victims, which does NOTHING to help Black women. First of all, I am very skeptical that any Black man over there feels he is superior to Black "people", just because he is with a non-Black woman. One thing I have noticed in the past 10 years is that, with the rise of all these other races of women chasing after Black men, even the nerdiest/geekiest of them feels solidarity with their more thuggish/typically Black brethren, since their being Black too makes them able to join the "Cream of the male crop" club too. Therefore, they have newfound pride in their Blackness, rendering that old "oreo cookie/nerdy Black man vs thuggish/typically Black Black man" dynamic basically obsolete/irrelevant. So in reality, they feel superior to Black FEMALES, not Black "people". Also, I don't buy what she says about their non-Black girlfreinds humiliating them either. It has been my experience that these non-Black women who get with Black males, do nothing but cater to them, stroking their egos to no end. Sure, there's probably one Steve Urkel type out there kissing his non-Black partners rear end, but that is simply NOT the norm for Black males in IR, period. If it was, you would not see so many Black men doing it. When do they EVER willingly take a backseat to females like that? Let's be realistic here. As for Evia's comment about them wanting to keep Black women as a "cultural backup" due to being alienated/not accepted in the cultures of their non-Black partners, I don't agree with that either because from what I see, Black males are treated with kid gloves and reverence in White/Hispanic circles (Those are the two largest non-Black cultures here in the states)just as they are in Black culture. And the fact that hip-hop, nba, nfl, and other Black/Black-influened cultural manifestations are popular in those two cultures only helps their cause. Also, that kind of talk seems to be trying to once again, make a "victim" out of the Black male who so blatantly spits in the face of the Black female by rejecting her for others. Frankly, I think Black males in IR want to keep Black females around, NOT as any "cultural backup", but simply to prove that they "got it like that" ie, have a whole race of females pining over them, and always willing to do their bidding. This is not a knock on Evia, as she is great, (Nor am I suggesting that Evia is trying to make Black males the victim on purpose, but it most certainly can be spun/interpreted that way by people who are always apt to make them the victims out of sheer habit) but simply a difference of opinion. However, I stil think there's more than enough evidence to prove that my opinion on the subject is the correct/accurate one.


Keep up the good work Sara. You're doing great things here.

Anonymous said...

S, so what if Black women get angry at some Black male actor they like having an onscreen romance with a non-Black woman? Why is this a crime? Do you think that White women love seeing their White hearthrob actors having onscreen romances with Black women actors? Do you think Hispanic women love seeing their Hispanic hearthrob actors in onscreen romances with Black women actors? Do you think Black men love seeing Black sexy actresses in onscreen romances with White or Hispanic male actors? The answer to all three questions is a big fat no, and nobody complains when those three groups express their disgust over it! Please don't hold Black women to a different standard than everybody else!

Anonymous said...

Anon,

I certainly didn't interpret the visitor from London's comment as painting a BM as a victim. I mean the dysfunctional aspects of Black American Culture do that aplenty.

I felt that her post exposed DBRBM as the users and losers that they are. What Londoner said doesn't garner sympathy from me- it elicits scorn and disdain for men who are pretty much white supremacists in black skin and have no racial/ethnic pride.



"One thing I have noticed in the past 10 years is that, with the rise of all these other races of women chasing after Black men, even the nerdiest/geekiest of them feels solidarity with their more thuggish/typically Black brethren, since their being Black too makes them able to join the "Cream of the male crop" club too."



If you are a BW you need to rethink this bc "thuggish" types can be found in all races and they usually lead to bad credit, black eyes, and a host of other serious problems for the women they are involved with.


"I don't buy what she says about their non-Black girlfreinds humiliating them either. "


I have heard from the a few horses' mouths that n-words can fly during arguments. Not only that, but there is a Black Tax incurred from the nonBW and sometimes those around the couple...it is typically financial, but can cost in other ways.


"When do they EVER willingly take a backseat to females like that? "

Probably when the woman is lighter/whiter and he is worshipping white skin. The bar is so low when it comes to WW & nonBW: she can be fat, an ex- prostitute, be pregnant for another man, uneducated, old- at least she is white/er.

Anonymous said...

"As for Evia's comment about them wanting to keep Black women as a "cultural backup" due to being alienated/not accepted in the cultures of their non-Black partners, I don't agree with that either because from what I see, Black males are treated with kid gloves and reverence in White/Hispanic circles"



Evia did not comment here. I made an allusion to a recent post she made. I encourage you to visit her site and read it in its entirety.

http://www.blackfemaleinterracialmarriage.com/




I think you have drunk the BM propaganda. The whole crux of the "give a brotha a chance" - "the white man has got me down" spiel is because BM are alienated and not welcome outside of all black constructs.

They barely graduate high school in significant numbers, at least 50% of all ages are unemployed at any given time, many have extensive criminal records -if these men are so revered and connected in white and hispanic communities then why the gross underachievement across the board? Why have they failed to collectively elevate themselves?

Not only that, but I know for a fact that there is an "ethnic cleansing" in Southern California targeting BM. The LAPD always covers it up by saying it was "gang related".


"And the fact that hip-hop, nba, nfl, and other Black/Black-influened cultural manifestations are popular in those two cultures only helps their cause."


This is superficial, just because someone wants to embrace aspects of your culture does not mean that they want to embrace or support you. IMO any idiot that thinks hip hop and athletics are the best cultural accomplishments or the only accomplishments of AA's is someone I wouldn't knowingly associate with.



"Frankly, I think Black males in IR want to keep Black females around, NOT as any "cultural backup", but simply to prove that they "got it like that""


I agree with the cultural backup theory for many reasons- whenever a BM is discriminated against, runs in with the law - even when he is guilty, but just wants to make sure he gets a fair trial for raping or murdering (take your pick), has his head caved in by whatever police department...


He does not appeal to White folks, he doesn't call La Raza, the Jews Asians or anyone else- he calls on other Black people/Black churches & organizations that are run on the manpower and resources of BW.


That is just one aspect. When that is gone- they will have nothing and deservedly so.

Anonymous said...

I am starting to think you are a clever troll. A cup of truth mixed with a cup of poison.

"S, so what if Black women get angry at some Black male actor they like having an onscreen romance with a non-Black woman?"


BC being tied to the BM's hip is whats killing bw. Bc BM don't belong to BW. Bc BW have shot themselves in the foot by raging over IR with BM both on and offscreen and then loudly declaring "nothing but a BM" - thus rejecting other groups of men publicly and out of hand.


There is much wrong with it.


BW should be held to a different standard in general bc when things affect us negatively we suffer longer and more deeply than others and sometimes we pay with our lives.

Sandra77 said...

Sara, you, Evia, Rev. Lisa (blackwomenblowthetrumpet) and Khadija (muslimbushido) are the best bloggers and blogs going. Keep up the great, first class, fantastic work. You are changing the minds, spirits and, therefore, the worlds of black women.

Anonymous said...

"Sure, there's probably one Steve Urkel type out there kissing his non-Black partners rear end, but that is simply NOT the norm for Black males in IR, period."

A lot of the black males I see with non-Black women ARE Urkels, either that or some other type of social reject that Black women don't pay much attention to. Very rarely do I catch sight of one who's worth turning my head for.

Welcome said...

Oh and for whoever said that any woman would get worked up over seeing the woman of her culture with another woman on screen here is something for you. Have you ever wondered why I, Robot had a black man/hispanic woman story when the screenplay If you take into account he Illustrated Screenplay by Harlan Ellison and Issaac Asimov had a bw/wm then you wonder why they changed it.

I mean seriously it's like Hollywood flipped it went from trying to have relationships that were both bw/wm, bm/ww, wm/ww etc. and then all of a sudden bm/ww. And now Hollywood treating bw like they are the plague of the earth.

Anonymous said...

"However, I stil think there's more than enough evidence to prove that my opinion on the subject is the correct/accurate one."

Uh yeah, right. So, which one are you? Rocky or Truth Be Told? You're a little too articulate to be that numbskull Laurelton, Queens....

Taylor-Sara said...

Anon.
who said that bw should get worked up about seeing bm with ww. I will tell you why they should NOT. If you are causing a fuss about such a thing, it means you are still emotionally attached to bm. We CANNOT afford to remain emotionally attached to bm! We do not own them, and they in turn do not own us. It's only in letting go can we be free. This is the equivalent of a woman trying to marry a new husband while refusing to divorce her ex! She can't move on until she LETS GO! Bm are free agents. The sooner bw accept this creed, the better off they will be....

Anon. who was quoting Evia. If there is one thing Evia would NEVER do it is to be an apologist for anyone! She is all for ppl taking control of, and being responsible for their own lives. This is why she constantly tells bw to be sure to get reciprosity, and to live well. She is my mentor as well as a true inspiration to countless women. And I would really appreciate it if you did not misquote her....

Anonymous said...

Thanks for your blog Sara. You are speaking some powerful truth. The reason that you are having all of these negative posts from the damaged ones is because you are speaking truth. These males are now starting to realize that many black women have moved on. This makes them angry and what makes them angrier is your efforts to help other black women and girls see the light. Again good work.

Stealthkitty

Anonymous said...

A lot of ground to cover here.

First of all Aphrodite, I am not a "Troll". Please do not insult me that way just because I disagree with you.

Yes, I am a BW, and there is nothing for me to "Rethink" when it comes to thuggish BM. That is something they aspire to, like it or not. Do not insult me because they chose to behave that way. As far as other men go, I and we were discussing BLACK men not men of other races.



I have never heard of that, nor any "Black tax". I do know that Black males are opportunists and would NOT be putting themselves in a position to be abused by non-Black women. That is just not who they are. They are too in love with themselves for that.

If that is true, then there should be NO White and Hispanic babymamas with no Black man in sight because he ran off on them as soon as he impregnated them. As we both know, there ARE plenty of White and Hispanic women in those predicaments, as there are plenty of White and Hispanic women with black eyes, ruined credit, destroyed/crushed egos courtesy of their Black boyfriends. Black men are infatuated with White and White-skinned women yes, but the Black male is a natural misogynist that worships NO female, period.



I have visited Evias site, and I did read the original post where she mentioned that theory of hers. That is how I was able to form my own opinion of it.


I have drunk no "Kool-Aid". What I have done is opened my eyes. If you think the Black man is unwelcome and alienated outside of all-Black constructs, you are delusional.


Why have they failed so? Because that is just how they are, period.

An ethnic cleansing of them? Ah, you are talking about the situation in socal with the Mexican gangs. Well all that tells me is that Black men for all their bluster and swagger, are not so tough when their opponents are other able-bodied males as opposed to broken and destroyed Black females.


That is not my culture sweetie, it is THEIRS (I have no use for hip-hop, the nfl, nor the nba). If you want to ignore the love affair that Whites and Hispanics have with the "Tough, street-wise, cool" Black man, be my guest.


Well I diasagree with it.

I agree he uses and abuses the manpower and resources of Black women.

I agree with your last line.

Listen, all I am saying is that we have to face facts. A MAJORITY of Black women believe in racial solidarity with Black men. Do I agree with it? NO, but I just do not think that those majority of Black women should be attacked for it, that is all. At one time, most other races also believed the same thing. However, I do agree with the rest of your post and agree with the idea that Black women need to forget about Black men just as they have forgotten about us to go after non-Black women.

Anon, are you denying that there are no (In the minds of Black and non-Black women alike) cool, thuggish, street, hip, or desired Black men in irrs? I think that is unrealistic to say the least.

Coolsplash, I am confused by your post. Are you agreeing with me???? I do agree with you about Hollywood spitting on us, that is for sure.


Anon, I have no use for Black males and believe in complete emancipation from this horrible slavery at the Black man's hands for Black women. How you can confuse me with any of those idiots in a mystery, seriously.

Taylor-sara, I did not misqoute Evia. I simply disagree with that theory she put out, and I explained why. I was not trying to insult her or do anything to hurt her. She is a true champion of Black women's rights, so why would I do that??????????????? I want the same thing you and she does, freedom and happiness for us. As for the star thing, please see my earlier explanation.

Welcome said...

Coolsplash, I am confused by your post. Are you agreeing with me???? I do agree with you about Hollywood spitting on us, that is for sure.

No I am not. What I am saying is in the 70's/80's it's like Hwood was trying to make BW/IR and yes other IR as well. Even in the 90's, but something changed and it's like a bw and wm/non-black man can be cast together, but bm/ww/non-bw is all the rage.

Anonymous said...

These DBRBM like to pretend that the only reason they insist on plaguing this blog with their presence is to defend against the direct defamation of the black man's good name and character(LOL), but, somehow, they still don't get lost when WM are the topic. The truth is the very thought that large numbers WM might possibly marry and establish BW strikes fear in their hearts. They say over and over again, "White men don't want no black women," as though they are trying to convince themselves and quell their fears.

And it's not the fear of losing BW -- it's the abject fear of the financial, social and political empowering BW will experience if large numbers marry stable and industrious WM! An empowering that their alliances with WW cannot achieve for them. These losers will be royally screwed. It is therefore imperative that they do everything in their power to make sure this does not come to pass.

Anonymous said...

"Anon, are you denying that there are no (In the minds of Black and non-Black women alike) cool, thuggish, street, hip, or desired Black men in irrs? I think that is unrealistic to say the least."

I did address that. I never said there weren't any, just not a lot. And I'm talking about the BM one sees in everyday life, not BM celebrities.

Anonymous said...

If anyone doubts me about the IR BM's tendency to be a social reject, check out the cast of characters over at whitewomenandblackmen.com. The mess they post about over there can be quite entertaining when you have a little time on your hands!

Anonymous said...

Coolsplash, why are you fighting me on this?

Taylor-Sara said...

The film maker's link for bw did not work, can you post it again....

Angelina said...

While I was taking a lunch break one day I stopped in at a Wendy's for a quick bite. I'm sitting at a table looking out the window when a black guy comes over and ask me to give him some money to help a brother out. I put my salad fork down and looked him square in the eyes and say, "sorry but I don't recall seeing you in any of the family photos". He then says, "what kind of sista are you??"....I say. "not yours". I mean he honestly thought that I was just going to hand him some money just because he asked. Then when I was about to leave he asked if he could get a ride and I told him--he could ride his thumb all the way home for all I cared.

Taylor-Sara said...

Wow, Angelina,
did he really think if you were smart enough not to give him money, that you would be stupid enough to give him a ride- a total stranger!!! Lawd halv mercy

Welcome said...

Coolsplash, why are you fighting me on this?

How am I fighting you? Seriously!!

Welcome said...

http://blackwomenmakingmovies.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Angelina said...
While I was taking a lunch break one day I stopped in at a Wendy's for a quick bite. I'm sitting at a table looking out the window when a black guy comes over and ask me to give him some money to help a brother out. I put my salad fork down and looked him square in the eyes and say, "sorry but I don't recall seeing you in any of the family photos". He then says, "what kind of sista are you??"....I say. "not yours". I mean he honestly thought that I was just going to hand him some money just because he asked. Then when I was about to leave he asked if he could get a ride and I told him--he could ride his thumb all the way home for all I cared.
----------------------------------
my god you are funny. I will remember to use that one the next time one approaches me.
-----------------------------
"However, I stil think there's more than enough evidence to prove that my opinion on the subject is the correct/accurate one."
---------------------------------
Ladies I think that we have another troll

JaliliMaster said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
JaliliMaster said...

That anonymous poster that is insisting on arguing is either a troll or is just confused.

1.First of all, it was inappropriate to refer to comments made by Evia and criticise them without providing any link to what she said so others could take in the entire context.

2. You are still VERY attached to bm and obviously have this anger when it comes to them. You are really only interested in bm and are very dissappointed that they aren't particularly interested in you.

3. This is evidenced by the fact that you see nothing wrong with a bunch of deranged women wailing and pulling their hairs out because some random black male actor was in a scene with some jacked-up looking white actress. Those women are pathetic, plain and simple. Gone are the days when I used to be midl in my rebuke. The fact of the matter, whether any of us wants to admit it, is that bm can date whomever the hell they want. The same way that Black women can date whomever we want. They o not own us and we do not own them. I will sooner support a Denzel film than I would, say, a film by Wesley Snipes. However, that gives me no right, none whatsoever, to harass him or throw verbal insults and threats of 'not forgiving' him. Bw need to get over it. Bm sure as hell ain't coming back, and frankly, with the way most of them behave, good riddance! Let's not pretend that most of them are like Barack Obama, Hill Harper, etc. We know most aren't.

4. You asked Cool_Slash why she is 'fighting you' on this. I think you are seriosuly mistaken. You are the one fighting everybody else. You are coninced that your opinion is right/the accurate one, based solely on the fact that it allows you to still be angry at some random negro on the street with Becky, Mai ling, Guadalupe or Bravefeather. Accept the fact that we are all individuals and we all have a right to lie our lives in peace and love whoever we wish.

5. Black women aren't the onlyones who get criticism for not liking to wacth bm on-screen with non-black women. Other race women do it too, most notably white women. The only difference is that ww are catered to so if a white woman cannot be cast in te role, they try to cast someone as close to her as possible, e.g., Will Smith being cast with a Latina(Eva Mendes), in Hitch because if they used a Black actress, white folks(actually white women since it was a romantic comedy) wouldn't watch it.

Anonymous said...

Hey anon from 14 June at 11:23 am. Why do you think I am a "Troll" may I ask? Because I speak the truth? Because I do not have rose-colored glassed on when looking at how society both Black and White/Mainstream feels about us vs how it feels about Black men? The fact of the matter is that both of those socities ARE against us, but you know what? I am still DAMN PROUD to be a Black woman and think we are the ish, and that we need to tell EVERYONE else, Black men, White women, Hispanic women, Hispanic men, and White men too if they want to be on the same trifling mess as the others to go take a hike and look out for OURSELVES FIRST. If we still have allies after that, cool. If not, who cares? We are NOT the bottom of the barrel just because those fools think so! I am for my fellow sistas FIRST, everyone else, HMMMPH!
Hey Jalil. I know you. I have seen your posts before. Since you want to call me a troll, then I will say that I think you are a phony and no freind to Black women. You are a cleverly disguised apologist for/protector of Black men.

1)I agree, it was wrong for me to do that, but it was done without thinking. I apologize to Evia and to Sara, but I did not do it on purpose. Reading about the unfair mess that my sistas go through always pisses me off and sometimes I type without thinking.

2)You think I am still "Attached" to Black men?

Baby doll, you could NOT be more WRONG! I have NEVER been attached to those ugly bums! I have ALWAYS known that they were selfish, misogynistic, Black female-hating parasites! What you see in my words for them is HATRED. Not feeling "Jilted" or "Attachement" or whatever else you want to call it. However, I realize that unfortunately the MAJORITY of my sistas DO love them and ARE attached to them. So I FEEL their pain! I cry for them, and I fight for them, and I will NOT apologize for either!

3) Once again, I simply feel that it is wrong to tear my fellow sistas apart and insult them simply because they, gasp! Actually feel attached to the men OF THEIR SAME RACE and expect this loyalty to mean something/be reciprocated. I may hate Black men and PERSONALLY not give two hoots if they date White women, Hispanic women, elks, moose, cocker spaniels, Buicks, Farm Implements, or whatever else tickles their fancy, but most of my fellow sistas, who I love dearly with all my heart DO CARE. So I simply defend their RIGHT to care. What is so illogical about them feeling that way? What race of women is supposed to LIKE/BE INDIFFERENT to the opposite sex of their race not loving/wanting them? I do NOT see anyone asking/demanding this of White women, Hispanic women, Asian women, or Indian women, so WHY ask/demand it of Black women, and then mock them for caring? That is a DOUBLE-STANDARD! As far as Black women being able to date "Whoever we want", baby doll, in THEORY that is true, but in PRACTICE is that so? Are sistas who date out given the same green light, nods of approval, and social blessing from, both Black and White society to do so? Will they be subject to harrassemnt, unfair judgement, abuse, and other mess that is basically UNKNOWN to Black man/non-Black women couples? Answer those questions HONESTLY please. We BOTH know what the answers are!

4)I am not fighting anybody. I simply see the truth and things for how they really are, rather then how I would like them to be. I know the reality of how people feel about us as Black women (Hatred, contempt, etc) so that makes me be constantly on a war footing. That is not my fault, I did not tell society to hate the Black female, but I damn sure will respond to that unreasonable hatred! As for that other stuff, tell your homegirls Becky, Mai ling, Guadalupe, and Bravefeather to stop acting trifling and stupid when they see a sista with Tommy, Chow yun, Paco, and Heart of eagle before you dictate to sistas how they should behave.
5)Yes they are and you know it. Show me some evidence of Becky getting critisized by the Black/Mainstream society for having that attitude, and I mean a source BESIDES Black women empowerment blogs!

JaliliMaster said...

Anonymous, you lost me with this comment:

"Hey Jalil. I know you. I have seen your posts before. Since you want to call me a troll, then I will say that I think you are a phony and no freind to Black women. You are a cleverly disguised apologist for/protector of Black men."

You called me an apologist to...whatever and said I am no friend of Black women, without validating those accusations with anything I had posted. Every criticism I levelled at you was modified with an explanation. Seeing as you didn't have the courtesy to do the same, you are kidding if you think I'll reply to anything else you address to me.

I still think you and the other black women who cry and beg negroes to 'come back home', just like they did on t.v. in th 90's with embarassing effect ARE pathetic! Those negroes didn't come bach then and Toby sure as hell isn't 'coming back' now. Get over it. It is also very telling that you speak of your 'HATRED' for black males. Sweetie, if they meant nothing to you, how can they still evoke such strong feelings.

You remind me of these negroes who harp on about how BW are this and that, and how they hate bw, then in the next breath, they say they don't give a hoot about bw. How so?


As for the comments you made in your post and the questions you wanted me to answer, as I said earlier, you lost me at the beginning of your post so I won't bother. Good luck in your life and if you and your sistafriends need someone to help you cry over bm, look up Mrs. Kis s'ma assss on Google, I'm sure she'd looove to help!

Michael Horvath said...

I just found your site and am not only impressed by your writing but excited by the number of people you have coming to your site. I am definitely in. Great blog!

S said...

"Are sistas who date out given the same green light, nods of approval, and social blessing from, both Black and White society to do so? Will they be subject to harrassemnt, unfair judgement, abuse, and other mess that is basically UNKNOWN to Black man/non-Black women couples? Answer those questions HONESTLY please. We BOTH know what the answers are! "

Um, i do not know what the answers are so please do tell!
The only people who have a problem with it as far as i can see are BLACK MEN, white women might get a little angry but they'll only get angry and worried and run back to white men after they see enough BW in IR with WM and although the numbers are growing we have yet to see that many, right now they're only worried about asian women "stealing their men" but again....when they see enough WM with BW, be sure that their jaws will drop because they're not expecting that.
When they will se that BW are not only attracting and in relationships with BM, they will see BM for the useless "men" they really are and leave them, trust me.
it's already happening in England.
And when WW find out i am not attracted what so ever to bl;ack men they get shocked and even a little annoyed.
Wonder why ::sarcasm::

Anonymous said...

Coolsplash, I say you are fighting me because I said that Hollywood spits at us Black females, then I asked you if you agreed, and you said no. I am very confused as to why not.

Jalil, baby doll, it is obvious to me that you have problems when it comes to understanding hatred. Your precious Black men who you love so dearly and protect (No matter how cleverly you try to disguise it in your "Defense" of Black women) I hate Black men because they have been abusing my fellow Black sistas forever. That warrants me hating them. The only crying I do at their hands, is for my fellow sistas who love them, who they use and abuse. Part of the reason they are able to do so is because of their enablers and protectors like you. You, who screams from the rafters about the Black man's "Right" to date and love your precious non-Black women homegirls.

Have fun protecting Tyrone while he chases Becky, Mei ling, Guadalupe and Bravefeather, leaving you in the dust, and they ALL have a good laugh at your expense baby doll.

Taylor-Sara said...

Anon, you seem to want to beat ppl over the head with your opinion. You asked Cool why she did not agree with you, and then got very defensive because she did not. Your view seems to be very pessimistic, and fault finding. You are asking ppl why they are fighting you, but YOU are the one fighting! You need to calm down. This is a discourse, not a verbal beat down. Cool and Jailmast. are entitled to their opinions....

Anonymous said...

"That anonymous poster that is insisting on arguing is either a troll or is just confused.

1.First of all, it was inappropriate to refer to comments made by Evia and criticise them without providing any link to what she said so others could take in the entire context.

2. You are still VERY attached to bm and obviously have this anger when it comes to them. You are really only interested in bm and are very dissappointed that they aren't particularly interested in you.

3. This is evidenced by the fact that you see nothing wrong with a bunch of deranged women wailing and pulling their hairs out because some random black male actor was in a scene with some jacked-up looking white actress........."



Thank you Jalli!

Not only that, but don't forget all the bigups she was giving about the the hot sexy masculine BM thugs and how the NBA has made BM Gods and given them great respect among white and hispanic communities. (Trying hard not to gag)


That is why I said a cup of poison...




I am reading the rest of Anon's comments to Jalli and Cool and talk about projection!



If anon is a troll then she needs to be banned.

If anon is a confused BW then she needs to shut up and go back to square one on this blog, Halima's, Evia's, and Khadijah's and just read.


I am seeing so much in this poster that Rev Lisa posted about; lack of emotional discipline, disrespect towards the BW who are her "associates, elders, and potential allies"...I assume this anon is seeking support and knowledge and yet trying to dictate/command/demand to the ones who are providing it to her.



Frankly I am becoming extremely annoyed. Especially since this anon keeps spouting half truths and I am concerned how this may impact other BW lurkers who made have just tuned in or are on the fence.


Anon, Halima has an excellent post about BW who are in love with being downtrodden. It can be found here: http://dateawhiteguy.blogspot.com/

Your posts reek of this mentality. Like I said you need to make some mental adjustments.


Otherwise you are dead weight and should be treated as such.

Anonymous said...

Taylor-Sara, if it seems that way, I apologize, but I think I am being misunderstood here. You say I am trying to beat people over the head with my opinions, but that is not what I am doing. They are behaving as if their opinions are the gospel truth, and it seems to me also that they are trying to make Black men these poor, innocent little victims who are being manipulated and abused by non-Black women when they get into romantic relationships with them. That they are the eternal victims of horrible racism by EVERYONE outside of the Black community. How is that going to help Black women who come here seeking answers and freedom from this horrible mental slavery of "Nothing but a Black man" and all of the mess that it entails? I am not here to fight, but I will not be shouted down by others who claim to be advocates for Black women, yet are having issues with me because I defend our sisters who have not yet broken free from said mental slavery. I am sorry, but I do not think those women are worthless and should be forgotten about, but that is just me. Out of respect for you Taylor-Sara, I will try to modify my tone a bit, but if they insist on calling me "Troll" and other unfair mess, I will defend myself. As for my debate with Coolsplash, I could have explained myself better, and will do so when she responds.

Anonymous said...

Anon from 17 June at 1:02 pm, with all due respect baby doll, you are wrong about me. VERY wrong.


First of all, do not put words in my mouth. I was not giving any "Bigups" to BM thugs. I was simply recording my obeservations about such things. If you want to deny that there are many women Black and non-Black alike who find BM thugs hot, sexy, and masculine, go right ahead. Will that change the reality? No, but do not get mad and insult me just because you do not like a certain aspect of reality.

What am I "Projecting" may I ask? Am I the one defending Black men and going on about their dating "Rights", or am I defending Black women?

If you also want to deny that many Whites and Hispanics are enamored with Kobe, LeBron, and other BM NBA players, you are welcome to do so. But why insult me for this? I cannot stand the NBA nor most of it's BM players, but that will NOT change the fact that the league and those BM players are very popular and well-liked and admired by non-Blacks. Why hate on ME because of this fact?

I am not "Poison" baby doll. It is not fair to call me that. What I am is an unapolpgetic advocate for my Black sistas.

Why must I "Shut up"? Simply because you do not like what I am saying? That is not fair, not fair at all.

I have not disrespected anyone unless I was disrespected first. I insulted NOONE, yet I have been called a "Troll" and other mess.

I am not spouting any "Half-truths" and frankly, I am getting annoyed too! I am for Black women's rights. What is the damn problem with me???????

I am not in love with being downtrodden. That makes no sense whatsoever.

Your post reeks of unfair judgement and comments which are very confusing to say the least.

You need to ask yourself why are you attacking an unapologetic advocate for sista's rights and emancipation and defending others who are doing the same.

Anonymous said...

Tatlor-Sara, you are my hero!

India said...

Sara, girl...absolutely amazing post. I am speechless, because you took the words right out of my mouth.

Aphrodite, *cyber high-five* You had me rolling on the floor. You speak the truth. Ladies, keep up the GREAT work.
Sara, don't let them silence you.

Anonymous said...

Hi Sara, i found out about your blog from reading an article on Essence. On this very same subject bw, dating outside of the black race.

This is not the first time i have been here, i just never left a comment. I am form the Caribbean, and majority of the bm there, are the same.
They only see women as maids, someone to cook, clean, breed,be their sex slaves, and of course accept their cheating ways.

Sometimes these men will have 5, 6, or more baby mamas, and they see nothing wrong with it.They are not family oriented, and therefore will not marry you. They too are very disrespectful. Will call you every dirty name in the book wore..etc...and when night fall they expect to have sex with that same wore.

Sara i just want to tell you, that you are doing a wonderful job motivating us bw, i can't tell how happy i am, that there is a place i can go where other women feel like i do. Keep up the good work.

Tell me though Sara, how often, do you post new posting?

Taylor-Sara said...

Hi Anon. 3:21
glad to have you. I usually post weekly, but if I have spare time, it can be more often. If you sign up as a follower (somebody can tell you how to do this) then you will get an alert every time there is a new post. So they are the same in the Caribean huh, sad, I always thought being in America had something to do with this deplorable behavior...Now ppl are telling me that they act like this all over the world....

Welcome said...

Taylor-Sara, if it seems that way, I apologize, but I think I am being misunderstood here. You say I am trying to beat people over the head with my opinions, but that is not what I am doing. They are behaving as if their opinions are the gospel truth, and it seems to me also that they are trying to make Black men these poor, innocent little victims who are being manipulated and abused by non-Black women when they get into romantic relationships with them. That they are the eternal victims of horrible racism by EVERYONE outside of the Black community. How is that going to help Black women who come here seeking answers and freedom from this horrible mental slavery of "Nothing but a Black man" and all of the mess that it entails? I am not here to fight, but I will not be shouted down by others who claim to be advocates for Black women, yet are having issues with me because I defend our sisters who have not yet broken free from said mental slavery. I am sorry, but I do not think those women are worthless and should be forgotten about, but that is just me. Out of respect for you Taylor-Sara, I will try to modify my tone a bit, but if they insist on calling me "Troll" and other unfair mess, I will defend myself. As for my debate with Coolsplash, I could have explained myself better, and will do so when she responds.

Anon seriously wtf are you talking about? No one hear is defending bm. Please show me where bm are being defended?

Anonymous said...

"You say I am trying to beat people over the head with my opinions, but that is not what I am doing. They are behaving as if their opinions are the gospel truth"

This from the same person who said his OPINION is the correct/more accurate one.

Anonymous said...

bw own 70% of the wealth of black america, because bm wont let go of the word PROVIDER. They let bw earn and keep their money and bash them everyday for not being a PROVIDER, so the man keeps working and giving most of his money to the deceitful creature that is woman. So she has all her money and most of the man's money. So she has 70% (or more) while he has a paltry 30% (or less) and then the bw said, you're a loser, let me go find a non-black man! hooray! How the power of the WORD has affected black men!

Oh, I forgot. the woman now having far more money, secretly meet at feminist get together and help each other to send their daughters to college in far greater numbers while the men have hardly a penny to send their sons to college at comparable rates. then the bw laugh at them behind their backs and say: "We have them on the run. We soon own everything, girls!" Now that we rule, let's go get some white men, so that we can make our own race! And while all that is going on the bw distracts the bm with all manner of utterings to make him feel that he's responsible for his own demise. She plays no part in it! The mighty WORD!

Anonymous said...

Anon @ June 22, 2009 4:43 PM

The problem with your little scenario is it's only true in your schizoid delusions. The black male "lets" the Black woman earn and keep money all for herself? That right there is ridiculous. Many AA women are THE SOLE PROVIDERS for themselves, their children, and frequently for a resident bm get over artist. And the reason more Black women go to college is because, if we want a chance at a decent living standard most of us can't sit back and wait on the black knight in shining armor to give it to us -- we've had to give it to ourselves. We didn't scout out the doctor to marry like blondie does; we became the doctor.

If most Black women waited on black males to be sole providers, we and your children would really be screwed far worse than we are now.

Anonymous said...

Anon from June 29 at 10:59 PM, first of all baby doll, I am a SHE, so it is HER opinion. Second, I have evidence to back up why I think my opinions are the correct ones. What are they you ask? Simple, the arena of public opinion. Got to topix, youtube, or any mainstream forums you can think of, and insult Black females, then insult Black males. You will see what I talking about. Go to any mainstream entertainment or sports forums, and praise Black male stars/atheletes, then insult Black male stars/atheletes. Then praise Black female stars/atheletes, then insult Black female stars/atheletes (Under different screen names of course). See which of this praise is agreed with, and which is dismissed. See which of these insults are oppossed, and which are ignored and agreed with. Compare how Condi Rice was discussed as a senior member of Bush's cabinet, and how Colin Powell in that same position was discussed by opponents of Bush and the Republicans. When you do all of this baby doll, then come tell me I'm wrong. I find it strange that your experiences of being a Black female in an anti-Black female society are not enoungh to tell you about the unfair bias and mess that we have to put up with.

Cool, I said it seems some people here are trying to make Black men the poor, manipulated victims of non-Black women when they deal with them romantically, as well as saying that they are nothing but hated and shunned outside of the Black community. This is making Black males the victims, which will do nothing but make even more people feel sorry for them. How does that help us as Black women may I ask?