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Thursday, April 2, 2009

Why we MUST focus on our own agenda....

This is going to be a bit controversial (but when am I not- huh?)

For those of you who do not know, I have a very handsome half- Spanish brother named Pedro, whom I love dearly. He is the child of my mom's second marriage. Pedro has Spanish features, long braided hair (halfway down his back). He's very fair complected, Latino looking, and fluent in his native language. In fact, people always think he's lying when he's says he's half black.
Anyway, something happened to my brother a few months ago that made me think. In early January, he had a job interview that his best friend Tito got for him. Everyone knows the economy is horrible and everyone is losing jobs, houses etc. Well out of the blue my brother decides he's needs a better job, as he wants to marry his girl friend. (He's way too young, but that's another story) Anyway, everyone in the family was telling him to go apply later on when the economy picks up, and that he won't have a chance right now. He didn't listen-he never does. He's always been the type of person who does exactly what he wants. Anyway, he went for an interview for a very high position within a local corporation. ( A position which would normally be considered out of the question for someone so young and inexperienced. -Keep in mind my brother is not old enough to legally buy a drink! Anyway, a few hours later he drops by our house and swoops me up happily! He told me that when he went to interview, he was originally scheduled to meet with a older bw, named Ms Williams. But as he was asking the receptionist directions to the lady's office, two very friendly Hispanic women began to converse with him in Spanish. They asked him if he was there for an interview, when he answered yes, they not only escorted him to the appropriate office, but gave him inside tips about the job. Then they told him to stay there, they would see if Ms Sanchez could take the interview. A moment later the women he was supposed to interview with motioned for him to come into the office. As he entered, a large Latino woman rushed in behind him, introduced herself as Ms Sanchez, and basically took over the interview (much to Ms William's obvious irritation). When Ms Williams tried to ask him about prior experience (of which he had none in this area) Ms Sanchez cut her off and redirected the questions. My brother said she was so warm and loving to him, that he thought that was her normal personality. He didn't find out until later that her kindness seemed to be reserved for Hispanics only. Anyway the long and short of it was that Ms Williams tried to deny him the position based on his youth and lack of qualifications, and Ms Sanchez overruled her. He got the job. His salary doubled and he loves it there. The people love him, and treat him like family. Even though he had no idea what he was doing, the ppl went out of their way for him and worked with him until he got the job down pat.
The thing is my brother is very young. I don't think he realizes that he got that job unfairly. Many far more qualified ppl were turned down because this Latino woman was determined to only hire her own kind! . I wondered what would have happened if one of us had gone in there with him, or his gf had been with him! (she's black). I was happy for him, but I felt a bit bitter because I thought about all the bp they probably turned down to insure a *Latino* person got that job! I also felt a bit angry because bp still don't seem to get it but everyone does. You can move mountains with a focused group, instead of spinning your wheels trying for a lifetime trying to do it yourself. My late, military father used to put it like this: Don't ever put your buddy's gas mask on-before your own! Spanish ppl seem very focused on bettering life for Spanish ppl. Same with Asian, Indian, etc. But Who focuses on bettering the lives of bp? Because it's certainly not us!- We always seem too busy trying to undertake someone else's cause!
Now that may sound racist, but I honestly don't mean it to. What I mean is that our *cause* has become so diluted, we don't even recognize it anymore. We have taken up so many banners that the message has become lost. My brother's experience is quite common. I remember dropping him off at a new HS, and watching Spanish kids come out of the woodwork to greet him and offer him help. I'm talking about when he was a complete stranger to them! They are quite cohesive as a people. They really seem to go out of their way for each other. My brother never worried about forgetting his lunch money in school or which clubs to join or anything else. He knew the Spanish kids would take him under their wing, and they always did. Maybe I'm jealous because I don't see this type of community, and mutual benefit in the black community. It fact it seems like many of us go out of our way to stand on each other's backs to get where we want to go in life. In fact we'll often go out of our way to buy from other ppl, to the exclusion of black ppl! We seem to have an inherent distrust of ourselves and I think others sense it and exploit it. For instance, why are all the black hair stores are owned by Koreans? How come ppl can come over here from another country and set up businesses in black communities? ( and do extremely well) Yet we could almost NEVER go into their communities and start a business with any viable hope of success! Why are so many bp are struggling to make ends meet, in a land overflowing with opportunity? I know someone whose husband is a cab driver. She says the man he works for came over here less than 5 years ago (from Pakistan) without a penny to his name. But he stayed with his family and they ALL worked, and saved a year and gave him the seed capital to start his cab service. Now a few short years later he makes upwards of 300.000 per year. He employs bm to drive his cabs and pump gas ( he now owns a gas station+ and several cabs) and employs Pakistan ppl to keep books, work the office, and do the day to day operations. My point is: how come bp don't work together to do things like this, so they can own the cabs instead of pumping the gas? How come we are the only race trying to do it all alone, or in conjunction with ppl who do not have our best interests in their sights? When you go into these places in the inner city, you will see that although they service the bc, they never HIRE from the bc. They always pick their own. They always put their own agenda first. Somehow we as a ppl have never learned to do this. I am not saying we should not care about others, I am saying we should take care of our own problems first. If your neighbors children are hungry, and your are as well-who gets to eat first? Any fool knows you feed your own children first, and then try to help the other children! But you must take care of your own home first- and take care of your own ppl first-everyone seems to inherently know this-except us.....
Botton line the reason I think we MUST focus on our own agenda to the exclusion of everyone else's is because no one else will! Everyone feels no shame in doing the best they can for their own community and not sharing that spotlight with anyone else. Everyone that is, except us. We are still trying to include everyone else, and diluting our message in the long term. We seem to embrace some false sense of guilt for even thinking of ourselves at all! While many others never give us a second thought! We need to stop playing the fools, and realize that we are just as important as anyone else, and that we must help ourselves before we can help anyone else....

46 comments:

Tee said...

Hello:

I'm new to your blog, and I enjoy it.

Interesting story about your brother. Please do a follow-up after everyone at his new job sees his girlfriend for the first time!

Been there!

Tee

Beautifully.Conjured.Up said...

We don't work together because we still carry on a slave mentality. When hearing of things like this, I often think about this quote that Malcolm X said, "The greatest iniquity against the black man wasn't the action of slavery. It was being taught self hatred and self doubt."

This ideology of ourselves and of our people is manifested via each new generation. Yes, we have come a long way as a people, but we still lack in the fundamental principles of upward mobility as a community.

Selena said...

Great post Sara,

However due to my own personal experience, I could care less about helping somone because of race. I've been burned too many times trying to help black folks. I refuse to put my reputation on the line again trying to help "my" people.

Will I give out inside information about available opportunities where I work for "some" family members? Yes. Will I speak out for people that I had a past working relationship with? Yes. Will I go an extra mile in the hiring process for prior-service folks (military) rather I know them or not-regardless of color? Yep I sure do and I make no excuses for it.

Yes we as a people have a long way to go as far as helping each other out but until we get out of the concept that someone owes us something, we will forever remain dysfunctional.

cool_splash1 said...

I watched two docus on black women in Hollywood or the lack their of. And by bw in Hwood I mean executives.

One was about how there aren't black women that are executives in Hollywood only white women. The docu made reference to a white women who made it up to executive and hired mostly white women. The black woman seriously expected for this white woman and other white women to lift up black women.

Another and really just a clip/trailer of an upcoming docu is by a black woman about women of color in Hollywood (talent). I notice we do this a lot. We are always trying to promote or help others uplift themselves as well as us so that we do not upset people and look racist. But from the example of the white woman exec lets say that the lady in this second doc helps a woman who is Indian into Hollywood and she becomes a big time actress who do you think she is going to help? Same with Chinese and so on. The sad thing will be a whole panel of other races that will left up the women in their own race even men (of which then do the same for other men)leaving us out in the cold starting the process all over again. Because the black women that she brought up either made it and expect other black women to go it alone or they will start the process that the woman who started it did.

Now don't get me wrong white women also hire bw and other women to help uplift women period, but the thing is the women in those other races and cultures will then turn and do the same as the white woman were as bw will expect other bw to go it alone.

I've been burned too many times trying to help black folks.

I know what you mean by that even Tavis Smiley remarked on this in his book How to Make Black America Better. He hired videographers for a presidential convention. Lets just say they were unusable.

Working with mostly Latinos and Asians I noticed they will not refer or hire those in family, friends etc. they know don't want to keep a job or like to act a fool. Hell they will let a family member go in a hot minuate if they are not doing the job.

And about the hair stores owned by Koreans. I agree, but I'm sorry when I go to some black owned stores they suck. No good selections etc. We need to do better. If they are loosing to the competition then go see what the competition is selling.

There is a reason retail stores look a certain way so that people will look around the store. I was at one that had the merchandise on walls on either sides with a huge and I mean bare space in the middle where normally racks would be.

Taylor-Sara said...

Cool Splash,
I understand your comment completely, and in many respects you are so right. We do need to do better but I think we would be so much further along if we HELPED each other. I am fully aware that this does not always work but we have got to start somewhere. I remember about last year. I was bypassing a dentist closer to my home and going to a more upscale dentist just to avoid having to deal with the one closer to me. (which was predominantly black owned.) One day I started to feel guilty about this and decided to have a dreaded treatment at the blk owned office. Ten minutes in the office, and I was regretting the decision. There was someone screaming from the pain through the thin walls next to the waiting room, and I heard one of the staff members tell her to "shut up!" I watched one lady leave 'angry' about her treatment and the staff immediately began to talk about the horrible, embarrassing condition of her teeth (while laughing hysterically) and the bm dentist joined in, and told them about all the 'work' he had to do to her 'ugly teeth!'They were all laughing so hard they didn't even notice me gathering my things to leave. I went back to my usual dentist.....
(Sigh) We really must do better....

Anonymous said...

Or the black businesses are too ethnic that they turn even Afrocentrics off. I like an ethnic/video based bookstore as well, but we also need to realize that not everyone is going to associate with that. And many of these stores seem like it's the black thouht police. I don't know they just seem to rub me the wrong way. Why not have a Barns and Nobles or Borders or Hollywood Video etc. owned that is black owned? I know of a pest control company that is big in my city as it turns out is black owned. Wouldn't have known that if my mom hadn't met the owner. It's been in his family for years.

Sophisticatedblkwoman said...

Sara I like this post and I think the same way, I always said if bp were to stick together and get things accomplished things would be a lot different within our community, but instead we have the mammy type of bw that hate on other bw that have a different mentality on life. To me it just seems that black women hate on each other to much, instead of lifting each other up. Lord knows we have to deal with the hate from others, but too many black women make it worse by hating on each other for stupid crap. There was a black female that owned a hair store, that I found out about later on and the day I wanted to stop in and see what she had to offer she had already closed down I was so mad, but get this a hair store owned by Koreans was next door and that may have closed her down. I know my girlfriend would shop there, but she didn't let me know this until I mentioned how I wish there were more beauty supply stores owned by sistas, so I can stop giving my money to people who think low of my kind. No need to mention the hate with bm that speaks for itself. Even though my cousin is against dating outside her race and choose to settle for an emotionally damaged bm with a degree, I give it too her that she will try and shop and get products she know is produced by bw. There was a product she was begging me to support that a black women created and is selling at Sam's or Walmart or a place similar. I'm guilty of forgetting about it and I will call her and attempt to get the product name and post it. I'm strongly in favor of buying products that bw create or going to places I know bw own. What I think would be great is if there could be a blog specifically dedicating some time to finding products created by bw so we can start supporting it. I hate to say if his girlfriend was with him or if it was a bf applying for the job it may have not been offered. Great post Sara as always!

Aphrodite said...

How would we implement a process for grooming and vetting people for this?

So this doesn't happen?

I have found that I get it from black who are crazy and there are some whites who don't want to work for/with a black person either.

SMH said...

Doing collectively better is a fine ideal - notice however everyone here has a story of being burned for trying to try to 'help'.

Only a person who is whole and healthy and living their truth who carefully vets people can help others. Fact is there are some people that are too toxic, too damaged to help themselves, and trying to 'help' those people is draining and damaging to self.

Anyone selected for 'help' must be vetted to ensure that the 'help' will actually make a positive difference and not enable and promote the cycle of self destruction. Help is about giving a hand up to move forward not a hand out to stay stuck in the same rut of negativity. Help is an investment. Make sure the return on the investment it there by vetting who gets help and what help is really help and not a hand out to stay stuck.

V/r

SMH

Sophisticatedblkwoman said...

Great thoughts SMH. I'm wondering if these other ethnic groups stop uplifting their own, due to them being burned or if they vet first or just do. I'm thinking loyal.

GoldenAh said...

I would cite what you say as an example of how immigrants view their group. They view the success of others as how it reflects on them. It will probably take a couple of generations before these immigrants learn to be individualistic.

Culturally, black people retain an American individualist mentality. In fact, I'd say we enjoy making things harder for one another, as though anything that's not earned through misery wasn't really worth it.

Historically, black people's (see Haiti, Rosewood Florida, black Wall Street, etc) attempts at economic self-sufficiency was always interfered with by whites, this government and self-loathing blacks.

The immigrants you mention may still have strong ties to the home country. They have a homogeneous place to run to, and feel a sense of self if America becomes too much.

I wouldn't knock being black (in America) too much. These people didn't bear the brunt of this country's hostility. They're just reaping the fruits of black people's sacrifices.

The work-arounds for the self-sabotaging behavior would be to form exclusive clubs whose mandate is to support whatever initiatives one has in mind (without taking anyone's money). The exclusive nature simply requires an extensive questionnaire to make sure the potential member has the right intentions and inclinations.

Okay, I've said enough....

Anonymous said...

wow, this is the best entry you've done. I agree, for starters i am really getting tired of young bm shooting other bm for one thing, that would be a good place to start, stop doing that and then lets get ourselves together in other areas.

Anonymous said...

has anyone heard of the Empowerment Experiment, its a year long experiment where you only support black buisnesses to get the message out that black buisness are not inferior and to encourage our people to support them more. here's the site.
http://ebonyexperiment.com/

TheVoiceOfReason said...

Oh, Sara don't forget how when black people or black women start looking out for themselves people are quick to point it out, give us a guilt trip, and drag us trough the dirt because we didn't put them "first" this is also known as the mammifying of black women, and the uncle tomming of black men.

Anonymous said...

Sara, I agree 100% with your comments.
One day a bm student made a statement about how the Jamaican students are sticking together and I simply told him do not worry about them but, what are you doing?
...as far as "sticking" together.

Ann

Aphrodite said...

Hi Sophisticated,

Remember that a lot of BW have issues as a result of functioning in negative all black constructs. There are layers that go into that kind of behavior. Some of us should be discriminated against as we are too dysfunctional and damaging to deal with - as SMH implied.


I think maybe being burned is something that no one can totally avoid forever, but maybe we can use vetting, leverage, and seeing what the person has to offer in order to make sure that there is balance in the investment?




@ The Voice of Reason

I think when that happens BW should say, "Yes, we love everybody, we support everybody, sure, whatever, no problem etc.. but then turn around and keep doing what they are doing- supporting each other only. Other people have no problem doing the okey doke on BW i.e. look at these fine words I am telling you meanwhile my actions show otherwise- why not turn the tables?

Anonymous said...

Sorry to disturbed your blog but if anyone watchs the TV show medium on Monday at 10 pm on NBC. It had a great episode with an interracial couple WM/BW that was pretty cute to see. If you get a chance watch that episode the husband does something most black men would never do for a wife they love.
http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0645781

Aphrodite said...

"Or the black businesses are too ethnic that they turn even Afrocentrics off. I like an ethnic/video based bookstore as well, but we also need to realize that not everyone is going to associate with that. And many of these stores seem like it's the black thouht police. I don't know they just seem to rub me the wrong way. Why not have a Barns and Nobles or Borders or Hollywood Video etc. owned that is black owned? I know of a pest control company that is big in my city as it turns out is black owned. Wouldn't have known that if my mom hadn't met the owner. It's been in his family for years."



I totally missed this. You are right. What about a black owned business that is targeted towards all consumers- not just black ones?

And you are so right about the side order of politics with your purchase. I hate that.

Anonymous said...

Support BLACK WOMEN FIRST. Not women or black people but BLACK WOMEN.

Remeber to vet everybody you deal with so as to avoid getting 'burned' in the first place.

As for black men, support those that support you and other black women. RECIPROCITY!

People will call you selfish, but I can tell you, they are doing the same thing. They just don't want you to know.

BLACK WOMEN MUST STOP BEING MAMMIES AND MULES TO EVERYONE ELSE!

Aphrodite said...

"People will call you selfish, but I can tell you, they are doing the same thing. They just don't want you to know."


This is so true.

PioneerValleyWoman said...

He needs to watch his step up in there.

As you explained, he effectively passes as a pure Latino, even though his heritage is half English-speaking black and he has chosen to date an English-speakign black woman.

If they know his full background, they might not be too happy. The same way they have made things work well with him, they can turn around and take it away.

He needs to continue "passing" without them knowing.

This mind sound cold, but I'm always in favor of people being very political on their jobs, in a way that is very defensive.

Never let people know too much about you, lest they try to use it to their advantage. This is just one example.

Aabaakawad said...

The "Medium" link in the anon comment above is actually to a webpage about Enuka Okuma, The actress in the "Medium" episode. The link to the video to that episode is http://www.imdb.com/video/hulu/vi3665494809/.

Anonymous said...

I can tell you one thing. I am currently in between states but no matter where I go Latino and Asians support each other in business and are continually growing not only in their commmunities but ours as well. And generally they don't live in our neighborhoods, but are more than willing to receive our money.

I see the comments of "black businesses not being as good" but not all black owned businesses are low quality, maybe where you live it could be, but not all. You just have to do your research and be willing to make some sacrifices if it is out of your way.


As far as black women are concerned in the job arena we ALWAYS have to be two steps ahead..ALWAYS! Most of the times when I go on my interviews there are never any black people in high positions to pull a "Ms. Sanchez" and hire me...its a sad reality for me. Hopefully things can change.

QT19 said...

The Answer to your questions is a TWO HOUR LECTURE HERE!
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-4346067120444327990&ei=sbrHSdfcIIjiqQLRr93LAg&q=Powernomics_A_Vision_Beyond_The_Dream.avi&hl=en

If you cannot see this link, check out my blog: I have him {Dr. A} posted to the top right. ;)

Take Care~

Delishmish said...

PVW said:
Never let people know too much about you, lest they try to use it to their advantage. This is just one example.
..............

Yes!!!
I am a big believer in this. Stop bleeding out your personal information to your co-workers. They are not your family, and generally are not your friends either. Hence you should be most prudent about what you share. I am horrified by the information some of my co- workers tell me..things that are personal about their health etc... guess what???? I DON'T WANT TO KNOW...I was even uncomfortable when a woman (Becky)I barely knew, but was having drinks with, confessed her abusive childhood to me. I was really uncomfortable. Once again, I would say... "DON'T TELL ME"..tell a therapist...It would behoove Pedro to allow Ms. Sanchez to believe things are as she percieves them to be...

and as an earlier commenter stated.. as BW, we should be looking out for our fellow BW...so if we are able to, we should also (within reason) try to help our fellow BLACK WOMEN (because THAT is our focus)into better positions, if we are able to facilitate that...."do a Sanchez" as it were!!

that can be our tagline...

"do a sanchez"..all it means is that we as BW know our power, wisdom and beauty, and we are ready willing and able to move us all along and upwards as a group. Naturally this will always include finding the BEST mate for ourselves.. with much regard to how that person can love us and propel us forward too...race being one of the last factors to consider.

Mary said...

I think with black people, only a few of us (sadly) ‘get it’ that we should support each other (or even are aware of what’s really going on). Meanwhile, with other groups, a majority of them are in the know.


Also, I’ve noticed that for a lot of black people, decorum (especially in public) does not exist. The idea of behaving oneself in public is not important. What’s important is keeping it real, you know, the ‘do me’ mentality (it’s the stupidest thing ever). Many blacks feel like they’re entitled to let their feelings be known, whether it’s rude or not. And it’s blacks everywhere. With Africans, I see it as a symptom of being low class. With AA’s I see it as a symptom being part of the ‘acting black crew’. Either way, who in the world wants to deal with that. And worse, there’s so many black idiots that completely lack decorum that not only do others paint us with the same brush, we do the same. You just avoid black businesses to avoid the nonsense period. But man, once I find a black business, I truly feel like I’m at peace. I can spend like there’s no tomorrow and still feel good about it. That’s just how I think.


Asians have literally made their fortunes by targeting black women. They’re not to blame, we are. it’s pretty shameful cause a lot of times we point at others, but this is an issue that black women can deal with. Why can’t we boycott them. Or start a list of black owned beauty supply stores.

RockNRollSista said...

Thats a crazy story. Sad but, true.

Sarah Brooke said...

great story!! Yeah I want to open a business (clothing line) and i want to welcome all ethnicities, and not exclude my own people like some of us BP do when we get to that certain success level.Your brother seems like he's hot lol. How old is he.

Taylor-Sara said...

He's very young Sarah (love your name! ha ha) I don't want to give his specific age but like I said. He can't 'legally' buy a drink yet. And yes women swoon, and consider him very HOT. Good luck in your clothing line, What kind of clothes will they be?

Anonymous said...

@ Mary, I think too many of us are caught up in useless behavior that we cannot see the forest for the trees.

Want for others what you want for yourself. Stop the jealousy.

You want a car or whatever then go out and work for that car(SAVE YOUR MONEY).

Go to school. Go to a voctech school. Stay away from drugs and drug addicts. It may be difficult at first; but, it can be done.
STOP THE EXCUSES.

a.f.

Anonymous said...

"Go to school. Go to a voctech school. Stay away from drugs and drug addicts. It may be difficult at first; but, it can be done.
STOP THE EXCUSES."



There is nothing "difficult" about staying away from drugs and drug addicts. In the "black community" folks have gotten so used to foolishness that degenerate behaviour passes as normal.

Anonymous said...

@ Anonymous- 10:36 a.m.
True for some people.

a.f.

Anonymous said...

Sara,

When you speak of "black people" and "we" must focus on "our" agenda, do you mean bw? Since you seem to have completely written off bm. Should bw go it on their own or with their white partners? Please clarify.

Taylor-Sara said...

I absolutely am referring to black women! I really don't give a damn what bm do. And yes, I think bw should go off and do their own thing with their non-black partners...

Anonymous said...

A split between bm and bw? That's the most absurd thing I ever heard. The separation of the sexes of a particular race. That would mean the total destruction of black people and black culture. Do you actually know what you're implying?

Taylor-Sara said...

What'd you do ask the question so you could have something to argue about? Listen, only a blind person cannot see that there already IS A SPLIT BETWEEN BM/WB!!! Even white America knows it! The only one who does NOT seem to know are black women! I believe in keeping it real, and the truth is bm have BEEN GONE! BM are NOT TRYING TO COME BACK! The only foolish ones trying to hold the black race together are black women! Every chance they get bm run after every damn thing that's as far from black as they can get, but bw are supposed to stay the stupid fools still believing in black unity that died out eons ago! Miss me with that bullshit! The black race is ALREADY divided, and it will never reconcile!!!

Anonymous said...

Taylor-Sara, you are 100% correct. The Black race as a cohesive entity is effectively dead. And it was killed by the BLACK MAN. He did it by constantly running after non-Black women.

Black women, like a country that is part of a defective multi-state union, need to SECEDE. The Black man has already seceded, he looks out for HIMSELF and his brothers first and formost, while throwing crumbs to the stupid non-Black women who love them so and who they prefer. The only use he has for Black women is to USE, ABUSE, THEN THROW AWAY.

It is time for the Black female nation to SECEDE.

Anonymous said...

You express SHOCK that HISPANIC WOMEN are PROTECTING and looking out for YOUNG HISPANIC MALES, while you are busy ENCOURAGING black women to HATE & SEVERE ties with ALL BLACK MEN! Ha ha ha ha ha! You aint shocked yet! Look at the scenario:

1. hispanic women are loving and helping hispanic men
2. white women are loving and helping white men
3. asian women are loving and helping asian men
3. black women are loving and helping white, asian and hispanic men.

So what you mad about?

Anonymous said...

When all you black women decided to join the white woman feminist movement and declare war on black men, and spit your anti-male venom, and only support "sistas" and tear down black men year after year, and championed your "independent woman" who "don't need no man" and teach generations of black women to see the black man as the enemy to be defeated in the school, at the workplace, in the home, and in just about everything else you can think of, you didn't know what the outcome was gonna be? And now you see how messed up the black man and black woman relationship is, with all the animosity, power struggles, broken homes, desertion from the race (via IR relationships), self-degrading garbage music, domestic violence, and a host of social ills, you now switch gear to take your war against the black man to another level, with promoting the white man and asian man and every other kind of man as being a better choice for the black woman! Oh yea! Tell me about it. What you say? The hispanic woman can't wait to hire a hispanic man, no matter how young and inexperience? They love their men! Who do you love? Take a look at the pictures on your blog! Take a look at your friends comments, talking about SECEDING! lol. You're mad at the hispanic woman promoting her man, while you are also here promoting her man over YOUR MAN! The black man you made your own enemy! That's what the white woman feminism did for you? You're waging war on your own race, while others are building theirs? Oh, I forgot, you're independent of your race! It's time to SECEDE!. lol.

Anonymous said...

Put our people first? Who is the black people you referring to? Black woman + non-black man = black people?

Anonymous said...

BLACK MEN are GONE? BLACK MEN are NOT TRYING TO COME BACK? BLACK MEN are RIGHT HERE looking at YOU. It's YOUR MIND that's GONE.

JaliliMaster said...

To that anonymous male poster. The Hispanic woman that was helping Sara's brother was doing so under the assumption that a Hispanic woman like her was going to benefit. Afterall, did you not read Sara's comment that had the woman known that his girlfriend was black, he'd be in hot soup. Other-race women don't have the burden of men of the same race hasing after everything else. It's black males who do that. Therefore, I will NOT support any black male if I know there isn't a Black woman benefitting. E.g patronise businesses owned by and benefitting Black women. Even if I see a Black male who is working and is with a blck woman, if she is his babymomma, the fellow isn't getting my support. He can profess his love to this woman as much as he wants to, have kids wth her etc., if her doesn't actually respect her enough to marry her in the same way he would had it been some Becky, Guadalupe, Ming Lee, Bravefeather etc., then he isn't getting my support! I don't care who that offends!

Anonymous said...

@JaliliMaster

How do you know the hispanic woman was concerned about receiving some kinda BENEFIT? She was ALREADY in a POSITION OF POWER to influence the outcome! What more benefit was she expecting from helping a fellow hispanic, even much younger than her? Her ENTHUSIASM says a lot more, than selfish expectations. She was simply happy to see a youngster that LOOKED LIKE WHAT OF THEM! She doesn't think like you!

Perhaps if the black man was getting all that support you talk about WITHHOLDING, he would say: "My God, I must hurry and marry this woman before I lose her! This is the best woman ever!" But a lot of guys meet women with mentality like yours, who are only looking out for yourselves. It's all about what YOU can get! And what you say? You don't care who that offends? lol. Yeah that's the big turn-off attitude right there. You offend many GOOD BLACK MEN and chase them off with that insulting and crazy thinking, then come on IRR blogs to say black men don't want none of you, and black men are wicked and this and that, but you never hear the negative things that many women do, just like what you're saying right now. You gotta whole lotta animosity in your heart for black men, but as you meet a non-black man, your attitude is all different. You call black men damaged-beyond-repair? lol. You seem pretty damaged yourself.

FunkyStarkitty50 said...

My parents, who were from the Civil Rights Era have always told me that some Black people have this "Crabs In a Barrel" mentality. THere are some White people who will help a Black person more than there own. Some BM are intimidated when they see a BW doing well incorporate America, so there is this resentment and this feeling like we don't need them.It's a pretty dysfunctional mentality and it's sad to feel like we are at war with our own kind. I don't see any other ethnic group like this. The only choice is to divorce one's self from that group and mentality.

Anonymous said...

Jesus Christ what happened to black people...shmfh...Globalism has won.

keisha said...

Good post. The reason why indians and chinese etc help eachother out is because they are stangers in a foreign land. When these people are with their own in their homeland, they DO NOT behave this way. Pakistanis don't go out of their way to help their own when they are in Pakistan. Look at the video from Uhearme1sttime on YT. She explains this well