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Thursday, April 16, 2009

The deadly lies thrown at BW, and the danger of believing them....





The middle pic is fine with most bm, but the other two couples will often incur fury....



"Don't you feel guilty F&*@ing a wm after they raped bw for thousands of years?" That's what a bm had the nerve to ask me the other day (upon seeing me and my family in front of a restaurant) And let it be noted he waited until I went to the bathroom alone, to approach me. "How can you F*%! his momma, his sisters, and his daughters? " I asked evenly, without waiting for a response. He just stood there stupidly,with his arm AROUND A WW and and stared after me. I knew exactly why he had not answered. He didn't have a sensible answer! There is no sensible answer! People who live in glass houses, have no business throwing stones, it's really as simple as that. I'm so damn tired of people trying to make bw feel guilty for dating/mating/marrying out We have as much right to be happy as any other woman. I feel like we have more right because who has suffered as much as we have? Who else has had to deal with constant frustrations of being called angry, masculine, unattractive, ball busting, baby mamma etc. The list goes on and on. All races of women have had all the problems that bw have had, but we are the only ones who become named after our problems ie, angry black women, welfare queens, unmarried baby mamas etc. And the saddest part to me is; If we fight back, we're angry, if we don't, it must be true. If we protest bm chasing non-bw like they are going out of style, we're jealous. But if we don't give a damn, and go out and get a non-bm- we're letting the race down, and practicing tyranny. Ladies please listen and learn. YOU CANNOT WIN-NO MATTER WHAT -SO DO YOU!!! I see so many bw are still afraid of what the bc will say if they roll up with a wm. I say damn that! The bc does not give a damn about you anyway. So DO YOU!! Like Evia always says: There MUST be reciprocity!! I don't mind bm with ww at all. I simply want the same thing for bw. Don't we deserve to come home to a loving husband who can wrap his big warm arms around us and ask us how our day was? Don't we deserve to have someone to hold, kiss, make love to like every other woman? Don't we deserve to have FATHERS for our babies who will love, protect, and cherish them? It' s ludicrous how many bw are so afraid of what other bp will say that they virtually spend their whole lives waiting on that black prince charming to come steal them away. It's not going to happen! There can only be one end for bw who continue to wait for the black prince, and that's a lonely, desperate, one way ticket to the GRAVE!!! BM are NOT coming for you! In the years to come the only bw who will survive will be those who have the sense to wake up from the twilight zone. ALL the others will die off of depression, loneliness, disease (born of pain and anger) and they will perish quietly with ppl shaking their heads murmuring how foolish these women were to wait their lives away! Ladies no matter what lies they tell you, don't wait! No matter what the church says; Don't wait! No matter what bm tell you (ESP. them. ) Don't wait! You're life is too precious to give someone that type of control over it.
Even the church is involved in these lies! I was in church the other day ( we are looking for a new church) and the pastor was telling the women "Wait on God to send you a husband! -he'll come if you just wait!" He raised his voice and growled these words and as I looked around, I could see the women nodding and murmuring. I shook my head in despair Pastor knows good and well the chances of these women meeting Mr right in a church that is predominantly 80% female is too unlikely for words! On top of that about half the men left (all black) half of them are with non-black women! About 1/4 are using bw for sex, goodies, money, etc, and the remaining fourth are already married to various women. This is what I mean about fishing in a polluted pond. This is no place to find a husband. The church knows this but I notice they seem to demand these women come to church sometimes 7 days a week! They've got a missionary day, Men's day, bible study, bible class, choir study-and rehearsal, usher day, pastor's day.... etc It goes on and on. Some ppl are at that church 7 days per week and every time they go, there is an offering or two plus they will ask the women to donate this or that, and work on this or that. See this is nothing but the church making sure these women have NO TIME to meet a good man because he will undoubtedly take her away from the church along with all the money and free labor she is donating. Now tell me how going to church almost every day, when would the average sister find time to find a husband? The answer is; She wouldn't .
Ladies you must realize something. Never expect someone to lead you from a ditch if they benefit from you staying in it! Always question people's motives.The church benefits from black women being lonely, vulnerable, spiritually void and desperately searching for solace. The reason bm don't want bw to escape has nothing to do with actually caring about bw. They know good and well how sad and miserable many sistas are because they do not have a man. But they benefit from these sistas in numerous ways. This is why this is no deterrent for their behavior, because a bw's happiness is not the target goal. The target goal is 1. To have someone waiting in the wings in case he should fall into trouble and need her, and 2. to have someone to use for free sex, money, help connections etc on a daily basis. Many of them don't even try to hide their antipathy for bw anymore, they simply figure bw are so desperate and stupid that they can come clean and still keep their harem intact. The other day I was watching Judge Mathis. There was a bm/bw on the show suing each other. The woman was suing because she and the man had gotten into an argument and he proceeded to pound her face into his car door. She was seeking her medical bills and cried though out her testimony. The man admitted to hitting her, but claimed it was only a few times, and that he had only done it because 'she would not shut up' He went on to tell the court that she was a 'crack head' and that she really did not matter! He further stated that he only kept the association with her alive because she was 'easy sex' and all he had to do was call. The woman seemed shocked to hear him talk about her this way. She was obliviously under the impression that they were together, and that this man cared about her. She broke down and cried, looking shell shocked and pitiful. She got her judgement but she seemed like a broken shell as she stood there shaking. The man turned and laughed in her face, he knew all along he had been using her, but she, in her eternal faith had not known, and now he had told the whole world she was just a side hoe. Ladies, your very lives are at stake, don't believe the lies....... These are the main ones to be on the lookout for:

1. Black women need to just hang in there, black men WILL come home one day
2. Black women are to blame for bm leaving in the first place-now be a good mammy and wait for them to come home.
3. Black women are too loud-that's why bm left.
4. A true sista NEVER Dates/Mates/or Marries white-she holds strong regardless of her pain, distress, and loneliness
5. Black women are too un-lady-like, fat, ugly, masculine (fill in the blank) that's why they left.

6. BM are kept down by WM, that's why they are so stressed-they need sistas to stay by their side and wait...
7.IF BW didn't have so much drama, babies out of wedlock, issues, they would not be alone-then the 70% stat is usually cited

There are other lies, but I think you get the picture, you must refuse to keep believing this nonsense and actively find your own Mr right (regardless of color ) and MOVE ON....

74 comments:

liza said...

Nice post Sara. I know exactly what you are talking about. I was with my husband and children the other day at a friendly's Restaurant, and the same waitress (a ww) who had been very nice to the couple behind us, got very nasty and tried to look over my head, when I was ordering. My husband chastised her and she walked away mumbling something about bw now stealing white men! We reported her and her superv. was very angry but not sure what he said to her... Great post, and you are so right-if I had listened to my family, I would not have a great husband, two beautiful children and a lovely home now. I'd be like so many of my old friends-sad, lonely, and childless. My IBM never came and he was never going to. But luckily for my IWB did!!!

Martine said...

Sara,

Thank You! Thank You! For such a wonderful post. I am a Haitian-American woman who has dated interracially all my adult life. In my family, my parents never cared what race someone was as long as they were at our level. Afro-carribean folks are not afraid to voice the class issue, marry equal or better. I remember many years ago when I lived in Paris, I had a very interesting conversion with some Afro-Parisian black guys. Basically they claimed that the reason most bm in Europe didn't date/marry bw sounded exactly like the list you included in your post. They were loud, vulger, unfeminine, gold-diggers, unatrractive etc... For a brief moment, my heart sank about of the negitivity of their sentiments. However, a few seconds later I instantly remembered all the beautiful, classy, sexy, French, Spainish, Italian, & British men who were chasing after me including my french boyfriend and got over so quickly. What was so amazing to me was the fact that French& African bw are amazingly gorgeous and classy. However, they were unwillingly to see BWs' beauty. At that very moment I knew that I had completely parted ways emotionally with my so called "Brothers". I was unwilling to spend my life waiting for the global BC to heal from its issues. I would always, Always stay open to receiving love from any wonderful man who adored me regardless of race. BW in the US have to adopt the same philosphy and committ to finding love in this abundant world where ever it leads and with a wonderful man REGARDLESS of Race!!! Thank you for the powerful needed work you are doing. BW also need to travel abroad. The "LOVE" BW receive from European men is amazing. Go have that experience, it is life changing and you will never again settle for less!

Salut,
Martine.

Taylor-Sara said...

Martine, wow! thanks for the info. You are not the first to tell us that bw are much loved in Europe. Hope sistas are listening! And I forgot about the gold digger one-I knew there were a few I forgot.It's so weird for bm to say that when 70% of the wealth in the black communtiy lies with the WOMEN!!! If anyone is sponsoring a trip to europe -please contact me at my email asktaylor1991@yahoo.com We have to get more sistas to experience the world, so they can expand their horizons and perceptions....I too believe they will never be the same....

Lavette said...

Hi Sara,

I've gotta say you and Evia blogs have really moved me towards my goal of finding love with men of other races. Years ago I tried interracially dating but was scared to because I don't think I was ready for it mentally yet course now that I am much more mature that fear is totally gone.

I joined a social networking site and my page gets tons of hits from white and other race of men and its truly nice to talk to men that want to get you know you regardless of color and they see my picture so if bw were so unattractive to white then why would they be hitting my page?

So ladies just Sara and others have said its all lies about wm and other race men not finding you attractive to me this was a real test and see now so moving forward at full speed.

Sara god bless love and I will keep telling other sisters about your blog as well you have and are helping me see what I probably have already known but like so many of us have been scared to step out of the box well I had to be reminded of where the spirit of fear comes from and its not from God that's for sure.

Taylor-Sara said...

Yes Anon. I have issues. That's why you are stalking me in cyberspace, reading my blog daily (which you obviously hate) yet still continue to read-calling me by someone else's name, and refusing to leave a blog whose msg makes you infuriated-BECAUSE I MUST BE THE ONE WITH ISSUES-KICK ROCKS FOOL!!!

Pamela said...

I'm really glad this post was made with some emphasis on church life. Many blacks are involved in some kind of church if for no other reason but family tradition. In most cases the bchurch is one of the most damning places for bw because of what was so clearly listed here. bw that want to be a part of a congregation will do well to go to IR churches where the minority is black. More than likely she will fare better. At least this has been my experience in recent years.

You will never know how it will be unless you try. Believe me I am so glad I did.

Traci said...

@ Lavette
Can you tell me the social networking site you joined?


@ Sara
THANK YOU for this and all the other posts. I think some BW are getting it. Hopefully more will
SOON!

Taylor-Sara said...

andrew, you were deleted in que because no one here is interested in having discourse with you.(arguing) However, I'm sure your fellow bretheren will be more than happy to engage you on all the horrible things you have to say about bw, so why don't you run along to their respective sites and join in.... bye now

Mr Laurelton Queens said...

Sara

How you long you think you sing to the choir with Evia?

You have a small club house.I don't expect my comments to get on your blog. As long as you know my message is getting out there too.

Keep pretending we don't exist.

London Charles wrote about you extensively.

Nice try to trying to influence other black women.

IT WILL NOT WORK!

Taylor-Sara said...

Mr L. that's almost a joke because there is nothing neg. you can say about bw that you fools have not already been saying for eons! So I don't know what msg you are referring to, see, I don't go to YOUR BLOG and harrass you all like the way you and your partners in crime do to me (CONSTANTLY). But thank you so much for showing bw how repulsive, antipathetic, and demeaning you all are to all bw. You spread my message so much further,and more profoundly than I ever could on my own ....-thank you

Traci said...

He's a fool Sara. Let him be. More interested in what you're doing than his life. Makes absolutely no sense. But what my mother has always said, "If they (haters, negative people) are talking about you then you doing something right!"

So CARRY ON!!!!

Velvet Queen said...

You know the truth is Sara, MANY young black women, especially 16-25year olds are beginning to notice the hypocrisy and evils of the so-called black community. Believe me, it is happening and quite frankly there's nothing that's going to be able to stop it. I recently had one of my black girlfriends (she just made 18) who I must say sort of comes under the categorization of “ghetto” share with me how she really doesn't understand why black men generally have nothing against dating white women...even some of the most unattractive but throw the childish tantrums if a black woman dates a white man. Believe me, for her to even say something like that is a serious milestone. She's come a long way...even though she still has quite a ways to go.

As a young black woman myself, I am quite sure that A LOT of black girls are starting to see the light. Almost all of my black girlfriends either have would agree with pretty much everything word you say Sara. They just need someone to look up too. They need other black girlfriends to encourage them. It works. It works. It works.

Trust me.....our thought process is changing for the better.

Thank you, Sara.

Anonymous said...

Mr. Queens,

You are so LOL funny. Is this the only way you can get any attention?

I have read your HATE filled comments on other blogs. What person in their right mind would follow you?

Also, I know you are using psydo wm profiles to speak against AA women. Your little game will not work either.

YOU ARE SUCH A LOSER!!!!!!!!

SIMPLY ME

Gloryus said...

Nice post Sarah. Many black women need to put themselves FIRST and quit with that 'black community' bullcrap.
There is no 'community' because it doesnt benefit you.... therefore you should only give a care about YOU and YOUR loved ones (showing charity to less privileged people who are truly in need is a good thing though).



I cant believe this Laurenton retard is still obsessed with you lol. What point is this fool trying to make by writing,
"Nice try to trying to influence other black women. IT WILL NOT WORK!"?

Em, helllooooo? Of course she's influencing single black women to be more open to IR dating, so that their chances of finding a quality man is increased. Why wouldnt those black woman take her advices? Well, except they want to end up as lonely old spinsters.
Take the comments/posts you read here however you like, but you're only displaying how insecure you really are with the pathetic comments you make!

Anonymous said...

Sara, how would you advise us young, black women to combat those lies?

Taylor-Sara said...

That's easy hon. I would advise you young ladies to recognize them for the lies they are, and then they will lose their power over you! For instance if someone was selling you a car and you were not sure it worked well or not (although they were claiming it did) you may be in a vulnerable pos. because the car may not start to act up for weeks after you've already bought it. But if someone tells you beforehand, "do not buy that car!-it will work two weeks and then konk out!" Now you are in a great pos. because you KNOW NOT TO BUY THE CAR!.....

Anonymous said...

Thank you Sara for reminding me again why Black females have to get away from Black males. They truly hate us. How anyone could deny that is a damn mystery to me!

Anonymous said...

VelvetQueen, I sure hope you are right about more of our younger sisters waking up. This war against Black women has gone on for far to long! Enough of this mess!

jess said...

You are so right about the black church, I havent been a member in years. Notice in black churches how they never tell the women to not have out of wedlock kids? They know that will mess up the bm's game (including the paster who ofter sleeps with depressed bw in the church). BTW, I blame hard headed bw for the state of bw today. why the hell are bw still spreading this 'black love' crap and lying & saying that bm are stronger than wm,when bm are degrading bw left and right. I'm always saying that bw have to get smarter.

jess said...

sara, I know this sounds corny, but Dr Phill is always talking about how people only continue with certain behavior if it is working for them. How is being the doormat for bm that bw once claimed ww are for bm,helping bw? These so called 'strong'(lol) nothing but a bm bw are actually weaker than the ww they call weak.

Saturn said...

Sara, I love your blog. For me, I was over black men in middle school. I guess you can say I already saw them for what they are. I only date interracially and I'm not at all interested in black men, nor is my mother. She might have married my father, but she is now with a Hispanic guy and I've never seen my father treat her the way he does, great.

jess said...

Mr Laurelton Queens obviously KNOWS that Evia and Sara are getting through to bw or he wouldnt be so obsessed with all bw interracial bloggers.this is probably the only way he can get attention from a bw, even though it is NEGATIVE attention,lol.Mr laurelton queens will make any 'nothin but a brotha' bw run to the arms of a wm.L queens is so repulsive.

Taylor-Sara said...

Hi Jess. I will tell you my theory of how (I believe ) it works for these bw to come to the defense of maladjusted, abusive, damaged beings better known as black men. It's like an abused child who fights and lies for the parent who abused him/her. He/She hopes and prays taht if they show the parent they are on the same side, ((keep in mind they still love this parent)) the parent will stop the abuse and give them the love they so desparately crave. The evil parent manipulates and exploits this need in the child to the fullest and keeps doling out hints and insinuations that they really WANT to love the said child, and that if ONLY the child would be perfect they could get this elusive love,and the abuse would stop -thereby making it the child's fault- The child begins to internalize this guilt and pain and told enough times, he/she begins to believe it's his own fault, and that he/she is making the parent act this way. What you are seeing with bw who refuse to stop defending men who hate, belittle and abuse them is the sad, lonely, depressed child on that basement floor still begging for love he/she WILL NEVER GET!!! I feel so sorry for bw still lost in the twilight zone thinking that if they just show bm enough love, they will come home and apologize for all the pain they've caused, all the babies they've abandoned, all the lies they've told, and all the unspeakable acts they've committed. Please be clear, THIS WILL NEVER HAPPEN!! What is happening instead is the you don't respect you-so I don't respect you auto response. BM are totally shocked and giddy with what they deem to be bw's stupidity and feel nothing but loathing for bw. They also feel that anyone who would turn to the other cheek after they've been punched on one side of their face, deserves to be punched on the other side of their face! Sometimes I want to grab bw and shake them and say "Get off that damn floor- he may have shoved you down, and made you cry but the only thing keeping you there is YOU!" But I know I'm fighting that inner child still begging that abusive no good parent not to leave, to come back and give them love. BW must learn to love themselves, so that they can find all the love they seek from a new parent (EVEN if it's not the biological parent)and as soon as that happens they can heal and move on, and finally one day be able to say. " I was sad,I was lonely, I was abused and depressed this made me think I needed your love. and you used my love and devotion against me, and caused me nothing but pain and anquish. But with God's help I made it- and I finally see you for the parasite you truly are, and I will NEVER NEED YOU AGAIN!

You see the child CAN make it without that abusive parent except the child does not know it, and perception = reality. Until that poor child releases themself, they will be bound to the parasite/bloodsucker parent who is using them as his own personal punching bag to mask his own insecurities, and demons that dwell within him.....

jackie said...

love that answer Sara, that was so deep! I have a question, what you suggest for someone who wants to date out but all her friend are telling her to keep on believing in bm? They say without us, bm will have no one in thier corner but I'm so tired of being alone and the bm are always hugged up with the white girls on this campus!

lormarie said...

Sara,

laurelton-queens is referring to an article written by an insecure black british guy who just can't fathom why any black woman would prefer nonblack men over black men. His premise was that you, evia, and others are jealous of black men because black men (in their minds) are more sexually desired than black and mixed women. Forget about the fact that in movies and TV, black men are more likely to be platonic with a white female lead while it is more acceptable for a white actor to be in a sex/romantic scene with a bw (than vice versa). Think Monster Ball, Neo Ned, and some daytime soaps to name a few.

They can't deal with the truth...bw have obstacles, but our lives are far easier in America and the west in general (whether with racism, IR, police) than black men's lives.

Would any black woman really want to be a black man in America? Level headed black men know this and deal with it appropriately. Black misogynists like Queens and his ilk cannot.

Pamela said...

Jackie, if at all possible you need to get around people that will support your decision to date IR. What is best is to be at a place where you can make the decision regardless of who you are around. The bottom line is this. No one can live your life for you. I have lived a few years so my perspective will contain decades of experience. What other people think DOES NOT MATTER in the sense of how it should affect the decisions you make. You can take advice from other people but the bottom line is that when you make a decision the only one that it will ultimately impact is YOU. You are not responsible for any other people unless you have children. Do not allow anyone to tell you that you are responsible for another grown man. You already see that there are no pickings with the bm where you are. It is pretty clear that they will probably NEVER EVER want you AT ALL and NEVER be in your corner. Forget that garbage. My guess is that if you continue with these friends you will be having the same discussion with them ten years from now still longing for a man that will cherish you. If you want that then continue as you are. If you want to find someone of quality then you need to go ahead and make that decision NOW. I made that decision probably 25-30 years ago. It has taken longer for me to meet someone OF QUALITY but right now I am checking out a French fellow these days. I have NEVER been treated like this by any man from any race before in my life. I am SOOOOO glad I opened my options back in the day. I sincerely hope you will make that decision NOW.

Peaches&Cream said...

Hi, I'm reading you from Paris and I want to say THANK YOU, thank you so much for your inspiring posts. I'm a 25 YO dark skin sista and I'm so tired of black guys telling me that they don't like black girls because they're goldiggas, they wear fake hair, and don't have class. I date white guys since I'm in high school and I don't feel ashamed of it. I'm just tired of the "traitor to the race" stuff that I hear sometimes, or black men giving me bad eyes when they sleep with ww themselves.
I am an educated woman and I want the best for myself and my future kids so thanks to you I've decided not to settle for less (regardless to the color).
And it's true white man love BW here in Europe, I lived in Ireland for a few month and I got a lot of intention. They love my congolese roots and my chocolate skin.
And about the church... I wouldn't say more.
Merci beaucoup :)

RockNRollSista said...

People ask me all the time about the race of the guy I am dating. I refuse to tell them. What the hell does it matter. People will never be able to understand how black women have opened up their horizons.

Anonymous said...

First off I want to thank you for your blog! And You're so right, and I want to thank you for telling us black women the truth!

Anonymous said...

Jess, first of all, these "Strong" White women that you are talking about could give the most die-hard, nothin' but a Black man sista a run for her money when it comes to taking crap from BM! Don't believe me? Check out some of the White Supremecy boards where the men there complain about WW who date Black men. You will hear about WW driving around their no-job-having, still living at his mom's house Black boyfriends around, letting them use HER car, while SHE pays for gas, paying his bills, paying for EVERYTHING on dates, and getting smakced around, yelled at, and otherwise humiliated in public by their big, strong Black boyfriends, so please! WW could NEVER handle being hated by their own men the way BW have dealt with it for CENTURIES!

Lavette said...

@Traci,

It's called Tagged.

lisablisa said...

Terrific post, Sara. I've watched too many BW grow tired and bitter waiting for their black prince to come along while listening to "pastor" every Sunday tell them to wait because God is preparing them. I'm glad I ignored these ignorant messages especially in the church. I've dated interracially since college and I've never been lonely and I'm certainly not bitter in my 40's. Unfortunately I still see too many of my peers still waiting.

Jamdown said...

Sara,

You and Evia get a lot of flack for your message, but I love both of you. Although currently married to a BM, I would consider a good man of any race if I am ever single again.

Please ignore Mr. Queens and others of his ilk. Completely ignore their messages. Don't even mention them in your blogs or comments. That will send them the message that we don't care about them.

Keep up the good work!

Joyce said...

Check out the following website:

blackisbeautiful.se

sky said...

Sara thank you so much for this post! Omg this post is on point 100%.

And to whoever said that on internet dating wm come to your page...that is on point! the majority of men I come in contact w/ on dating sites are wm. The majority write to me first.And if i do write to them, almost always they answer back w/ compliments. Oh has anyone seen the new eharmony commerical here it is (bw/wm)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2k28rM-pGrU

Since ive made the decision to date IR, my dating life has become much happier, knowing that i won't just have one date the entire year, but many throughout the year.

I've seen many bw in my area make this decision as well bw w/ non-black and everytime, they look happy. they are being held and treated with love and respect.

I also believe that YouTube has awaken a lot of bw as well. BM don't realize how much they are letting us see the light. So every time they post these disgusting videos, it doesn't even hurt me. It means I can walk further and further from them. That doesn't mean ALL bm, but it certainly means the majority.

Even at my college, i discuss with friends to date out more and they pass the message along.

Can't wait till summer, we're going to see a lot of free bw dating out!

Xenia said...

Hi sara, i posted the below comment on the previous thread but it seems you have closed the comments section as i was typing.
----------------------------------
@ Sara,

The anon april 19 3.48 am is so see through. I can tell you that these are people that you constantly see online but when they want to post these types of comments, choose to do so annymously. I can almost bet that she (if it is a she) has a user name but decided not to use it. Notice how she offered ABSOLUTELY NOTHING for the black women on this board on how to tackle these siuations. All he/she/it was concerned about was saying 'white men do it too'.

Note to all the people saying stuff like 'other non-bm do it to':
Well so what?
This is a blog directed at BLACK WOMEN and so any issue raised will be treated AS IT PERTAINS TO BLACK WOMEN.

The vast MAJORITY of the BLACK WOMEN who experience this type of behaviour will experience it at the hands of BLACK MEN.

These people come here and rather than addressing the issue being discussed directly, they choose to go off on silly tangents and want to protect the 'image' of black men. Like we are the ones in control of that image! Those black men choose to live up to the stereotype and the so called good black men will witness these dbr idiots terrorising bw and will sit cowardly and do absolutely nothing. They are not men either whether they take part or enable it by doing nothing to stop their fellow black male friends from doing it.


NOWHERE in the post did sara say that ONLY black men engage in this type of behaviour. On the other hand, black women are the most likely women in america to experience day-on-day street-level harrassment and it is mostly at the hands of black men.

Rocky said...

Actually, black women get more angry at the middle picture than black men do at the other two pictures.

Taylor-Sara said...

That's not true Rocky, fewer, and fewer bw even care anymore....

Rocky said...

"an insecure black british guy who just can't fathom why any black woman would prefer nonblack men over black men"

That's a false statement.

Taylor-Sara said...

whatever Rocky, does not matter who he is, all I know is that he does not know me or Evia, therefore any statements concerning our feelings, desires or motives is a complete fabrication on his part. Now why don't you run back to your brother site, and leave us to our business....

Anonymous said...

Xenia. You are exactly right! Thanks for telling it like it is!

Clarice said...

The quickest way to defend against this propaganda is for BW to ask themselves if whatever anyone says is in their best interests.

Simple as that - BW must ask themselves does this work for me i.e. make me happy, at peace - feeling valued, loved, cherish and respected - if the answer to that is no then do not pass go do not collect 200.00 choose another option. Thinking for themselves and acting first and foremost in their own interest is the only key to BW happiness, safety and prosperity.

SMH

Anonymous said...

Ladies please check out the blog that Joyce shared with us (blackisbeautiful.se). Thanks Joyce! This blogger is an art director who lives in Sweden and he has posted the most amazing, beautiful pictures of real black women around the globe. Sara, can you post a link to your blog? Black women are oh so beautiful!

Thanks Sara for uplifting us all. Love and Light!

Taylor-Sara said...

If you mean can I post a link to that blog, yes I can, but I can't post one of my own blog (if that's what you meant) they would have to do that. But sure I'll check the site, and post a link... thanks Anon.

FunkyStarkitty50 said...

Oh, I know that blog. He's very nice and seems to have a genuine love for Black women of ALL shades. As for the earlier comments about the Black church, I never saw how hypocritical and toxic it was until I moved away and when to a more racially mixed church. Although it is predom. White, I have seen more acceptance and tolerance there than I ever did in the church that I grew up with. I see more and more BW there with their non-Black boyfriends and husbands and there isn't the staring and negative comments that I saw whenever I would bring a White bf to the other church. There are just too many rules in the traditional Black church and there are so many BW sitting by themselves in the pews and if they are looking for a BM in church, good luck. There just are not that many-- at least not in that environment. I haven't been back there in years, and if I did, I would feel out of place.

cool_splash1 said...

Or it's black women with their black children. That's mostly what you see. I noticed that in my church a few years a go. It was always there. I sort of noticed it, but didn't really think about it. Anytime the bm are married it's to a few bw many ww or other or not married or they are too young for marriage.

Frankly It's sad because seriously bw have to realize that something isn't right. They are mostly alone and the ww, aw, etc. are married

Felicity said...

Black women have to have a relationship with God, first. Not the pastor, but with God. Let God open their eyes and their hearts and once he does that many of them would live the very churches they are in.

Women need to go to churches, where the word of God is preached and taught the word of God and how it can be applied in your life.

Many black churches are weekly entertainment shows, you jump up, you scream and you think you are getting the Holy Ghost, but it is not that you are just getting good excitement, until next Sunday and you are still in a mess longing for a man.

We have pastors, who really have no clue of their role at all, and many are not appointed to have churches in the first place. When you are in an anoited church, you can see your life changing. Whatever is binding you will eventually fall off. You can feel the anoited one of God working in your life with you.

The very same thing is that many women do not read the bible and they only skim over the service. The Bible can be as deep as you want it to be. The Bible not only tells you stories, it gives you instructions, it goes into quantum physics, metaphysics, but the unfortunate thing is that because many of these 'so-called pastors' can 'preach' they will get a following.

If you read what Paul and Peter have to say about marriage is so something different what the pastors say, again how many people read, what passages, does the pastor quote from. The famous saying, you always hear is 'Wait on the Lord, be of good courage and wait on the Lord'.

Now David wrote many of the psalms, some when he was a shepherd, eg 23rd Psalm. Some when he was in hiding when King Saul was trying to kill him, and 'wait on the Lord', or have patience, means trust and stand on God's word, meaning, you say according to your word, Lord...eg chapter x verse y, this is your promise, show me what to do?' You don't sit down in the church and at home and wait for your husband. You take action.

If you want a husband, what do you do to get him, you take action to get him, make yourself more attractive, lose weight, if you need to lose weight, if you are go to different places, etc, join networking like facebook or twitter, if you want to join a dating agency, but if you don't want to, fine, go to art galleries, wine openings, try to go out with one friend, who is interested in interracial relationships and don't go out with a group of women, no more than two, if you are looking for husbands, what sort of man, you want. You really need to see down with God and ask yourself some deep questions, do you have time to be married, how much time do you want spend in relationship.

You and God are one, and think how God thinks, now that puts you in a whole different level. When you pay your tithe and offering, you talk to your tithe and offering, God this is my act of faith, for my husband, children ect and put it on the envelope. Many of us are good givers and not good receivers. We must also pray for our sisters in those same church, so that they too can get husbands of their choice. They cannot do it themselves, because they are blind, however God can change their time and space, their reality and circumstances and they can meet the right people to help them.

You command your husband to come to you according to Romans 4:17b as God commanded light, in Genesis.

You have a list of the qualities you want in a husband you want, you have list of qualities you have and if there are any missing ask God to put them in you.

Black women have to TAKE CONTROL OF THEIR OWN LIVES. Don't listen to Auntie Bebe, or their friends, brothers, cousins. who have not got sorted lives. If they can you can't go out with a non-black man, ask them where in the bible says you can't and say I am living my abundant life in Jesus Name.
Don't argue with them, because you do not have the time. You need to be Abrahams and move out of their mindset, because they will drain you, destroy and cause you to get disease.

If anyone tells you, that you are not giving a brother a chance. Tell them, take it to the man Jesus. He is the right man for the job.

You and Jesus can live the abundance life to suit you. John10:10, Jesus talked about living an abundant life, meaning having a wealthy lifestyle, and wealthy husband, lovely children and wonderful house or houses and furthering his kingdom. Put away money in a savings account and call it your wealth money. You start to think wealthy, when you start to think like that you change your mindset.

Many of these churches, are doing the work of the devil. I know that I may sound extreme, why would any church not be happy for their members to get married, they should want them to get married, because when they bring their non-black husbands to church, they will cause the church to develop more and grow. Those guys have always got good connections. They can have three generations, everyone tithing, offering, more successful people. It is good to meet and fellowship, but our role to go out and mix with the people, pray and bring the God.

Look at Esther, Esther's uncle put her in the queen line up, so she got picked. Ruth went with her mother-in-law and she got a husband, Boaz. This clearly shows these ladies took action, they did not sit stay in their areas.

I pray black women's conscousness to wake up from the sleep of lies and let them realise they are beautiful and they are desired. I thoroughly enjoy your blog. Keep going and keep inspiring me and many others. Thank you.

Taylor-Sara said...

Wow Felicity! That was a very informative post. You really summed it up so neatly. Hope you ladies are listening you must take action to get the man you want! Praying and waiting will not work because God does not work like that. You must pray and act! Would you ever pray for a job and then refuse to go for the interview? No, that would be ridiculous right? Well so is praying for a husband, and never leaving the house....

Pamela said...

felicity, you are so right. People listen to the preacher ONLY instead of reading and studying for themselves. Another thing that I have seen. They will tell US to wait but if they happen to find themselves OR THEIR CHILDREN find themselves single they are NOT WAITING ON THE LORD but are taking action. bw need to do the same.

One thing I did the past couple of years was to start losing weight. In the past two years I have lost 55 pounds and counting. That has increased the attention level of the fellows in general. I fully believe a part of this is because I smile more. It is an automatic thing to smile more when you are feeling well physically. It is amazing how just adding a smile can help in the relationship department.

I have not been as proactive in this as I could have been. HOWEVER the one thing I did do was to make sure that I attended somewhere where I heard the word taught correctly AND where I was valued as a person. For me I found that leaving the bchurch. It was the best decision I have made to date. A lot more progress in my walk with the Lord AND a lot more interaction with wonderful men. I am seeing a wonderful man right now that looks really promising. I'm sure if I brought him to most black churches he would be greeted with frowns. Unless he just wants to go to one it will never happen. I'm going to continue enjoying my life.

Sara, I totally agree that more and more bw could care less about bm being with non-bw. I have not cared for many years.

cool_splash1 said...

They will tell US to wait but if they happen to find themselves OR THEIR CHILDREN find themselves single they are NOT WAITING ON THE LORD but are taking action. bw need to do the same.


Oh and don't forget none of these bm and bw are going to tell their daughters to give a brotha a chance. Or to marry someone not on their level.

Pamela said...

cool_splash, you are right.

I was almost sucked into some of these lies long ago. I'm glad that my tolerance for unnecessary pain and agony is ZERO so I ultimately rejected the nonsense. Today I am so glad I did. I wish my Dad was around to see me today. I really do. I am being treated just like he would want his daughter treated by a man. We are still in the vetting time but things are progressing very well. I will keep you posted on this. It has been quite fun the past few weeks.

To bw that are still on the fence I beg you to jump off of it for good. You are probably missing a chance of a lifetime. Nothing is guaranteed BUT if you do not at least take a chance you will never know what could happen for you.

Anonymous said...

You all talk about black men being psychologically damaged. when you were tormenting the black man with your feminism and womanism and constant man bashing, you didn't know you were socialising generations of future men to have a certain view of the world, and behave in a manner you find repulsive. Take a good look in the mirror. Are you yourself not repulsive? Miss independent, I thought you didn't need any man. What you grabbing onto white men and other races of men for? You aint independent? The woman-for-woman-only lifestyle aint good enough for you no more? The white woman feminism and your college degree, lesbianism and big money still can't give you that wholesome good family life can it? Misery, misery, misery! lol.

Anonymous said...

@ Pamela, Good for you on your weight loss and new guy. Everyone seems to like a pleasant smile.

a.

Lena said...

I find the black community to be a horrible sick and twisted setup to leave black women miserable and alone. They then accuse you of being a man hating feminist if you dare assert your own self-interests above charlatans who only plan on using you until there is no more you left!

The black men crying over this site are recognizing that their free ride is up and we are on to their scam.

I refuse to be a part of their harem. I won't let black men off the hook for crap I won't let other men get away with either!

Black men who are offended by this site realize that they won't have black women or little ole me to abuse and take advantage of either boo hoo!

Anonymous said...

@ Anonymous 3:38 p.m.

Most bw IMO where not and still isn't into feminism, lesbianism and the other sorted "isms" you have stated.

Now if you would have stated most bw are into supporting their families then I would agree with you. There is good and bad in everything. I am sure your mother did the best she could by you and yours.

Ann

Anonymous said...

The only black man (who's actually a biracial man) you have on this site as a good example of a black man is Barack Obama, who was born to a WHITE WOMAN. So what you saying? Black men born to both black parents aint no good? If his mother was black and his father white you'd say it's because his black mother chose a white man that's why she produced a winner. And if his black father chose a white woman, that made their biracial offspring a winner. So black man and black woman together can't make no winner? So your message here, is black woman find your self a black man born only to a WHITE WOMAN, unless his father is WHITE (or some other race) and his mother is black! Leave the black man born to both black parents alone!

But wait a sec. Aint the owner of this blog and her followers like to lament about black men going to white women, yet their best example of a good black man is the offspring from such a union? lol

This same black women don't think that a black man born from a BLACK WOMAN WITH A BLACK MAN is good enough! lol The black man, or rather biracial man must have some other racial features in him. That's the closest he'll get to being a full fledged white, asian or hispanic man. O shit!

Anonymous said...

"There can only be one end for bw who continue to wait for the black prince, and that's a lonely, desperate, one way ticket to the GRAVE!!! BM are NOT coming for you!"

IF they aint coming for you it's because you spent decades tearing down the black man with your anti-father, anti-patriarchy woman-for-woman-only feminism. Instead of building good family life and producing successful sons, you were busy seeking their destruction in the name of woman liberation. You were all about girls! girls! and women! women! And now you're griping about about NO BLACK PRINCE aint coming. Holy cow! When you and the white woman were raging war on all things male, you didn't know that the white man (and asian man) was gonna be more resilient and able to withstand the onslaught cause they were already at the top and controlling the vast resources. While the black man in america came out of slavery with nothing, and was at the bottom.

Now the black woman waged war against the black man and elevate her economic and social position above the black man, and now hating the black man more than ever for all his self-esteem problems and pretending black women had nothing to do with it. What you like to say? "The black man wasn't man enough. He was ill-treating us and abandoning his family, so we looked out for ourselves... and continue to do so."

And now that the feminist garbage has fizzled a bit and you're all achieving your academic papers and securing great jobs, you look back at every black man with your new found superiority complex, and labeling every black man a thug and a woman abuser, and you gotta get you a fine beauty of a man.. which man? Any man except a black bastard of a down low, loser, mentally damaged, AIDS-infested, violent scum of a black man! Whether he fits the bill or not. You miss independent with your intellectual mind, who "don't need no man" now want a cultured white man with resources, and a cultured asian man with resources, and a cultured hispanic man with resources.. but no uncultured, dispossessed, psychologically-warped-in-the-mind (from all the male bashing slavery, feminism and racism), low self-esteem, poor and nonredeemable former-slave-with-nothing black man.. from whom you came! You now set up blogs to tell black women to leave black men en mass!

You lit a fire and burned down your own house then run to the neighbors asking them to take you in! And who is that neighbor? The white man who has also suffered a great loss from the feminist assault, losing ground in academia and career as well, but had enough resources to retain his top position. So here you are, looking for an escape hatch to bail-out of your black skin to escape the monumental problems in the black community that you contributed to. You compounded the self-esteem problems of the black man that's why many turn to interracial marriage too. And you do the same, talking about no black prince aint coming for you. You now want the SAME WHITE MAN that you and the WHITE WOMAN was waging war against! Cause your black man is "defeated." You think so? Nah, we aint defeated. Another setback, but we aint defeated... we regroup again.. I say no more.

Anonymous said...

@JAMDOWN

"Please ignore Mr. Queens and others of his ilk. Completely ignore their messages. Don't even mention them in your blogs or comments. That will send them the message that we don't care about them."

That's right. You don't care about the opinions of black men, cause you hate them. You're currently married to a black man, but sound like you can't wait for your marriage to end to blame it on him, so you can join these "sistas" here jumping in the arms or white men.

The black man's opinions should be censored and thrown out, cause you only want to hear from white dudes and black women with white dudes. The black man from whom you came is the enemy, and the former slave master is a better pick! Love that swirl!

Anonymous said...

@liza

"My husband chastised her and she walked away mumbling something about bw now stealing white men!"

How ironic! The white feminist woman helped you up the socio-economic ladder and now she's being rejected by her white man for you! All she can do is mumble to herself and serve you a coffee, while you're the one carrying the white man's baby in your black womb!

cool_splash1 said...

You all talk about black men being psychologically damaged. when you were tormenting the black man with your feminism and womanism and constant man bashing, you didn't know you were socialising generations of future men to have a certain view of the world, and behave in a manner you find repulsive. Take a good look in the mirror. Are you yourself not repulsive? Miss independent, I thought you didn't need any man. What you grabbing onto white men and other races of men for? You aint independent? The woman-for-woman-only lifestyle aint good enough for you no more? The white woman feminism and your college degree, lesbianism and big money still can't give you that wholesome good family life can it? Misery, misery, misery! lol.

You need to study womanists before you talk and bw in the suffrage etc. I'm sorry, but bw cannot be blamed for bm not doing their shit. I am so tired of bw working their asses off for bm who in the end want to use da ebil white man as an exuse and also women. Honey women are women we are girls who grow to be women and duh by watching and learning from our mothers. Men are boys or were boys who grow up or grew up to become men by watching and learning from their fathers problem is where is daddy. Another problem is bm expect black boys to grow up to become men in a bw single household. Are you serious?

The nothing, but a bm crap is what has black women alone. And secondly if bm didn't use women like we are walking uteruses we wouldn't have this problem. No woman wants to be so called strong, but as one man put it if the man isn't there she has to over compensate and gets into a survival mode you wouldn't believe. This goes for all women.

But seriously you want to defend bm. Think about it a woman who has 2/3 jobs going to school and raising kids even thoughs who don't gets my respect than a man whose complaining how the wm is keeping him down. No bm are keeping themselves down because above is proof that if you want something bad enough you will go for it.

Most bw IMO where not and still isn't into feminism, lesbianism and the other sorted "isms" you have stated.

The feminism or black feminist didn't have the same views as ww. During the suffrage movement there was a bw who got flack from ww feminists because she got married. The thing is the ww didn't realize that the rights the bw were fighting for was respect and equality not as women, but as bw. Same with the next wave. BW already could get jobs they might have sucked, but we got jobs. We also had a vital part in our community (along with the men)

JaliliMaster said...

"They can't deal with the truth...bw have obstacles, but our lives are far easier in America and the west in general (whether with racism, IR, police) than black men's lives.

Would any black woman really want to be a black man in America? Level headed black men know this and deal with it appropriately. Black misogynists like Queens and his ilk cannot."



I disagree. BW in the west are the ones sufferring the most. The fact of the matter is that if most BW acted the way most BM do, we'd get the same treatment! BW are the ones left to hold their children alone, actually going to university and graduating with a degree that worth something, actually being qualified for the jobs they apply for as opposed to believing that being a black male should make them lower the standards for you, etc. If BW had these same attitudes, by now, the majority of us would be dead!
_______________________

And Sara, this is your site so I wouldn't try and tell you what to do with it. However, I really think you shouldn't even be allowing through the posts from the naysayers, especially those black males who come here with their nonsense. Many of them just want an audience and a reaction. Aloowing them to post their drivel gives them that. After typing their long rants, just delete it. That would frustrate the life out of them!

Anonymous said...

@Lena

"Black men who are offended by this site realize that they won't have black women or little ole me to abuse and take advantage of either boo hoo!"

The only thought you have of a black man is someone who wants you to abuse and take advantage of you? Who taught you that?

Black women are just as abusive and even get away with more abuse than the black man. While a black man (and every other race of man) is known for physical abuse, who's more gifted for VERBAL ABUSE. Many of you break the spirits of many a youngsters, telling them they're no good and engendering low self-esteem and self-hatred that manifests into derogatory garbage we call hip hop and the violence that affect you same people in the community. You aint play no role in this? All you can do is write negative stories about black men to validate your decisions to get with mr whitey. You aint with mr whitey cause you love whitey. You're with mr whitey cause you hate mr black!

After you did a good job tearing down the black man with your GENDER SEPARATIST anti-man feminism, you find that you don't want to go to bed with no woman, you want a TRADITIONAL FAMILY! O my god! You have no choice but to start looking at other races of man, cause you done vilified and separate your emotions from the black man, so you'd be contradicting all your anti-black man teachings throughout the decades. O yeah. "Let's find another man! Time for something new!"

Living proof of what i'm saying are blogs like these. ABUSIVE FEMINIST BLACK WOMAN putting her poison pen to work AGAINST THE BLACK MAN, just the same as her abusive mouth in the homes. Online and offline. O Yeah. You even hate the white woman who gave birth to the WHITE MAN you want to jump into bed with. You give birth to black sons and teach your black daughters hatred against them and say look to other races so you can start anew with biracial children, cause these damaged-beyond-repair little black boys we chastise and belittle everyday, aint coming to be anything worthwhile in life! Holy macaroli!

FEMINISM HAS DONE MORE HARM TO THE BLACK MAN THAN SLAVERY. THE SLAVE MASTER DIDN'T LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE AS THE SLAVE, SO HE DIDN'T KNOW THE BLACK MAN'S PLANS. BUT THE BLACK FEMINIST WOMAN IS BREATHING RIGHT DOWN YOUR THROAT, AND SABOTAGING EVERY PLANS TO BETTER YOURSELF. EVERY BLACK MAN HAVING A DAUGHTER THESE DAYS, KNOW HER MIND WILL BE POISONED AGAINST HIM! AND THE BIBLE DID SAY, IN THE END TIMES, A MAN'S ENEMY SHALL BE A MEMBER OF HIS HOUSEHOLD!

JaliliMaster said...

To the anonymous black male loser that is posting. Get a life. Dude, seriously, a get....a.....life!


Or a job.



Or a clue!


Or better yet, go get an AIDS test. I'm sure I can already tell you the result, but I'll let your doctor drop the bombshell instead!

mekare said...

"The black men crying over this site are recognizing that their free ride is up and we are on to their scam.

I refuse to be a part of their harem. I won't let black men off the hook for crap I won't let other men get away with either!"

I agree. The jig is up. Honestly, no one cares about what these guys have to say. No one cares about them and their fear of the white man and all this other stuff. It's time for us to live as we please. Everyone else can wait.

Aphrodite said...

I wanted to congratulate you Pamela on your relationship! It is wonderful to hear that this is something that your dad would be proud of!


You know I am thinking the same way. That although my dad is no longer here that I should ask myself is this a man whom I could proudly introduce to my dad as my husband?

Aphrodite said...

Peaches&Cream,

You know I keep hearing that about europe.

I was thinking of maybe dusting off my passport for my birthday and putting the feelers out for a husband.

Usually I like the tropical places - love heat and humidity, but maybe a change for a good cause would be in order.

Now it is choosing the country, planning the activities - places to go to meet ones with the earning capacity/age range/class tier I want and working out the finances on my end to get there.

Anonymous said...

@JaliliMaster

I answered your argument about me getting an AIDS test, but your MODERATOR was too scared for you to see my answer. Perhaps, You won't see this one either.

This is a blog where any and everything bad - fact & fiction, can be said about the black man, but the white man's image must be protected by (supposedly) black women! We all know the conspiracy here.

Pamela said...

Aphrodite, thanks for the shout out. About a week ago we decided to officially start dating. He is from France. I was not against dating foreign men or anything like that but it never consciously crossed my mind either. It has been the easiest relationship that I have ever been in. One reason is that we have been friends for a good while. My goal is marriage. From what I can tell so is his. My eyes are still wide open here. Even though I am an older gal I am not in a rush either. However this is the first time I have been in a relationship where I hope it will end in marriage. Thankfully I did not have to move to Europe to meet him. However for those that feel like they want to do that it may be a good choice. I know we are both having a ball these days.

Halima said...

I am sooooooo rooting for you pamela girl. You go, you go! I am sending up prayers for you today.

JaliliMaster said...

" Anonymous said...
@JaliliMaster

I answered your argument about me getting an AIDS test, but your MODERATOR was too scared for you to see my answer. Perhaps, You won't see this one either."


My "argument"? It was no argument sweetheart, it was FACT. Therefore, I have no need nor desire to see whatever drivel it was that you responded with

Pamela said...

Thanks Halima for the prayers. It took me a while to get here but it has finally happened. I will post updates from time to time. Things are going really well so far. I suspect that will continue in the days to come if what I am seeing is any indication.

Taylor-Sara said...

Hi. Ladies, I apologize for not moderating the comments better. I've been really busy so I just put them through and I figured if anyone got too out of hand, yall would put them back in line. But I've gotten a few email concerns, so I will keep a closer eye....

Aphrodite said...

"Aphrodite, thanks for the shout out. About a week ago we decided to officially start dating. He is from France. I was not against dating foreign men or anything like that but it never consciously crossed my mind either. It has been the easiest relationship that I have ever been in. One reason is that we have been friends for a good while. My goal is marriage. From what I can tell so is his. My eyes are still wide open here. Even though I am an older gal I am not in a rush either. However this is the first time I have been in a relationship where I hope it will end in marriage. Thankfully I did not have to move to Europe to meet him. However for those that feel like they want to do that it may be a good choice. I know we are both having a ball these days."




I am going to cry...This is wonderful! I can't wait to hear about the wedding. If you have been friends for a while - that is awesome. I hope he turns out to be all that you expected, needed, desired, and more!

Aphrodite said...

The anons are making me laugh my backside off.

I know that they can be annoying and even dangerous, but after reading the post on another website concerning troll behavior/tactics - they are so 'textbook' and it is hilarious that they are so classic in using all the tactics that were mentioned in the post. Its like wow... there is a manual out there.

These guys are so not worth the energy, but their stupidity makes me laugh.