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Wednesday, February 4, 2009

BEWARE- the pastor who promotes his own agenda instead of God's word......















You know I'm not going to get into a sermon here. I definitely have enough sense to know I am woefully unqualified to do that. All I want to say about this subject is: Beware of the false prophets!


The bible warns that there will be " men that come claiming to be from God, but they are of the world" This seems to be especially true in today's world. The problem is many of us have been raised to 'revere the reverend' (where do you think the word came from? We give him the utmost respect, we hang on his every word. We let our guards down, and automatically assume he has our best interests at heart. We give him instant credibility, and ostracize anyone who questions him, We work long hours in the church for no pay just hoping for a smile of approval from the man of God. We sing our hearts out in the choir, and do spirit dances like there is no tomorrow. (Can you tell I grew up in the church) I know all about the psychology of the church. It becomes like a second home. The only place many sistas feel safe. Unfortunately, it's a false sense of security. The church is loaded with predators! Many convicts have felt comfortable saying the best place to find lonely, vulnerable bw to use and abuse was the church! But I think the worst abuse of all is coming from many pastors!


A few weeks ago, me, and my family went to visit the church of a friend. Since she's a Pentecostal (sp?) and We're baptists, we had never gone to church together before. I was shocked to see the same woman I had talked to at the shelter (I'm a volunteer) sitting in the first lady's pew. At the shelter she had told me that she had been living with her bm baby daddy for 8 years, and that he had been beating her for 7 of them. She claimed she had no way to leave because he handled all the money. The shelter had offered to get her a job and find emergency housing for her, but she had refused. She had shown her boyfriend's picture around, and asked us if we thought he was cute. I remember thinking that was a strange question. But now looking at her in the first lady's pew, her head high as a peacock, and a smug smile on her face, I knew exactly why 'she could not leave'. She was the first lady of the church! Her man was the pastor-and they were PRETENDING to be a happily MARRIED couple!


I watched quietly as he told the women is the church to wait on God when it comes to finding a man. I looked around the church. Many of the women already had streaks of gray in their heads, and he was telling them to wait! A chorus of ' Amen pastor' followed everything he said. He went on and talked about their deacon who had been framed by 'evil white cops ' and was now caught up in the system. He claimed he was innocent, and that the church was planning to protest his arrest, and conviction. The church rose up like a giant animal and began to shout and stomp happily. The first lady rose up wobbly and pretended to fall back. Immediately ppl rushed to her and one fanned her while the others put her gently back to the cushioned pew, got her a drink, and made her comfortable. I felt like I was going to gag. They were all so fake! They took 3 regular collections, and 1 for the Pastor's anniversary. I felt like screaming "They're not even married, you fools! " But I just watched in amazement as people ,who claimed they were having a hard time financially, dug in their threadbare pockets and came up with all sorts of money to give to this charlatan. As we exited after church, I saw one church sista excitedly grab the hand of another and squeal. "We raised over 5000 for pastor's anniversary! " She gushed happily. The other lady gave her a big hug, and said " Sista you keep up the good work- You doin God's work!" Me and my family looked at each other and shook our heads....... I kept wondering how is giving this man 5k for his anniversary, God's work? And how does he justify telling middle aged bw to WAIT on a man? And how is it ok for him to beat his girlfriend and preach-all the while PRETENDING she is his wife? I walked out feeling like I was in the twilight zone. I could not understand what those ppl saw in this man, but as I watched the Pastor drive his Lexus truck from the parking lot,with a smiling, sometimes beaten, brain washed first lady inside, I knew one thing. Me and my family would not be coming back.......

________________________________________________________________




And since we're talking about charlatan Pastors- I wanted to get your thoughts on Pastor Manning. Never have I seen a pastor spew so much hatred from the pulpit, under the guise of a sermon! (Sounds like jealousy to me)


Here is a recent quote:
“Obama is a Macdaddy! You don’t get your campaign started with a big-chested white woman. She must be a 54-D. Double D. That’s the first place I saw his name. On a pair of great big ole tits. Obama is a long-legged Macdaddy!”
Long-legged? You sure you aren't mistaking him with the roadrunner? But then the gloves come off:
“I haven’t trashed Obama. His African in-heat father went whoring after a trashy white woman. He was born trash. I said he was born trash!

"You hypocrites you. You spineless you-know-what. You don’t have enough sense to pour piss out of a boot, and you’re talking about Obama as your president. You’re despicable.”



He goes on like this. His whole 2 hour sermon was devoted to Obama hatred. He said that back in the day they called all ww Ms Anne. And that since Obama was the son of a Ms Anne, how could he be considered a black President. (because he's still biracial/black duh) He goes on to say that that Obama is trash because of his parentage, and that he only won because some ww wore his name on their t-shirts.He then goes on to pretend that Obama endorsed this! When he is called on this, and told that Pres. O. had nothing to do with these ww wearing his name on their chests. He replies: "Then why didn't he repudiate them? " Ah.. perhaps Pastor, he thought this mess was beneath him, as any normal forward thinking adult might conclude, and he decided the American ppl would have enough sense to know that!
His sermon is filled with hate, half truths, and pure conjecture. The topper for me was when he called Pres. O. trash because he had a white mother. Like ww were inherently bad! We all know no one is inherently bad, ppl CHOOSE to be good or bad, and Obama has always talked about what a wonderful woman his mother was.
This man is truly off his rocker! I think they need to strengthen the dosage on his meds and pull his crazy self off the pulpit. It's unbelievable to me. He could be condemning bm who are filling the jail, abandoning their children, raping, beating, killing ppl. Instead he is condemning a man for running one of the greatest political campaigns ever, and becoming President. (Perhaps he wanted the job-I don't know) All I do know is that this is typical crabs-in-the-barrel type behavior. When you see someone else doing especially well, and you try desperately to pull them back down to your level (or lower, so you can step on them) It's sad and unnerving for a so-called man of God to speak of the President this way. It's unbelievable to me how you can claim to be from God and spew venom straight from the bowels of hell! You all are free to research this man yourself if you think I'm exaggerating. He's truly an enigma......

58 comments:

Tam said...

I first heard about this bufoon by way of that "corpulent drug addict" Rush Limbaugh. He kept playing his clips under the guise of informing the masses about Hillary supporters. Manning was a supporter of Hillary's. I don't know whether she was on board, but since his Temple of Doom is located in Harlem he felt it traitorous that Black People jump ship and put all their support behind Obama.

I don't have a clue what Manning's motive is behind all this ignorance. I guess I shouldn't waste time trying to figure it out. Its just not worth it.

Anonymous said...

Wow...
I don't even know what to say about this guy.

He is probably the Supreme HEAD of the DBR bm club...his rhetoric is frightening beyond belief..and as Sara rightly says, why on earth isn't he going after those numerous members of his club preying on innocent citizens?

I wonder what those people sitting around him are thinking. They look like terrified backwards cult members.

And he is really dumb if he thinks that a ww with "Obama" written on her shirt started this candidacy and ultimately Presidency (funny how he knows exactly the size of the chick's chest..and I am pretty sure that is an overinflation of the size anyway..I think the old dirty pastor is telling us what he likes.. UGH) One of the reasons why this candidacy succeeded was because this man spoke to the people in a way that made us think we had someone in our corner... a normal guy who could speak for all of us. Someone who could help to bring a fractured country together. Someone who KNOWS that we are literally not red states v. blue states, but a United States of America (as he has said.)A man who gave us reason to be hopeful again after 8 years, where many of us felt silenced politically. He gave us reason to believe that our democratic process CAN work, after the debaucle of 2000 and the SELECTED President thrust down our throats despite the facts that showed this was not the MAJORITY will of the American People at that time.

I would not be suprised to hear that someone is paying this "pastor" to spew his rhetoric. Also, just because he is a "pastor" does not mean he is a good or a godly man. Many wicked people hide behind a pulpit...frustrated angry people who have a close relationship with the devil (or evil)- whatever you choose to believe.

The more energy we give him, the more stupidity he will come up with. Remember the old advertising slogan .."there is no such thing as bad press."

He is a bitter old angry sham of a man and sham of a pastor.

Anonymous said...

Just out of curiosity, Taylor-Sara. Is this all your personal views on this blog or are you working for the CIA?

Anonymous said...

after reading your post sara my first thought was "w...t...f???"i mean my goodness!!! but you know what all these people have a day in hell. they think they're getting away with it now, but they don't realize everything is being recorded in heaven. the Lord will just look at them and go "I don't know you".

Velvet Queen said...

HAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my gawsh! That's all I have to say....oh and ha ha ha.

Personally, I don't care if he preached down every single person in politics. I just find it interesting that he's spending so much time talking about politics rather than the Gospel.

Ha ha ha!!!

It's sad in many ways though. That is absolutely not Christianity... Ha ha! That's... I don't know...indirectly being involved with politics?????

Sorry, this just made my day. I'm rolling here!!!!!

If he doesn't like Obama so much he should be simply be encouraging Christians to pray for him and look to God for the answers and guidance.

That's what Christians are SUPPOSED to be doing according to the Bible. We're supposed to pray for our leaders. Not poke fun at their mothers. LoL! This is too funny.

Taylor-Sara said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Taylor-Sara said...

Hmmmmmmmm. I suppose that was meant to be funny Anon: 142
But since we're asking stupid questions, allow me to ask you one. Whose name is at the top-mine or the CIA- There is your answer....

Divalocity said...

Anyone listening to this man is just like him, full of hatred! To be a Christian is to do so in words and deeds and clearly he is doing neither.

This man is still preaching his own form of convict ministry which is only intended to save souls while he was there but once he was out it's back to business as usual for him. Prison did not reform him, it made him into a insane cult leader.

Anonymous said...

Copied from Wikipedia:
which we know is not always completely correct..but generally it is so.
.........................

Manning is fiercely opposed to the gentrification of Harlem[3] and calls for its residents to boycott its shops, restaurants, doctors, banks and churches.[4] That action, combined with a general rent strike, would force all property owners out of Harlem, he said, leaving the neighborhood to its rightful inheritors: black people.[1][5] Manning calls his plan "No Dew, Nor Rain," after Elijah's warning to Ahab, king of Israel, of a coming drought. "When there's no dew, no rain, there's a drought - there's all kinds of suffering," said Manning. The whole of Harlem, he said, is to be a "drought zone."[4]

As a younger man, Manning burglarized homes, mostly on Long Island. He spent about three and a half years in prison in New York and Florida for burglary, robbery, larceny, criminal possession of a weapon, and other charges before his release in 1978. While in prison, he became a devout Christian.[1]

........................

SO he would like Harlem to remain a droughted place filled with DBR bm lounging on street corners, harassing innocent women.

Now I certainly was not around during the golden age of Harlem as it were, but I suspect it was really a horrific and unsafe place. Sure there would be pockets of people who wanted to live a good life and have a neighborhood where you could actually live and be proud of..but I bet the dbr elements were more prevalent (albeit for different reasons than now)..the illegal games, prostitution, poor living condition, drugs, etc..but..racism was more pronounced and in the open then...NOW bm are dbr because it is a CHOICE they have made...to be less than what their maker intended, to have no aspirations, to blame the "evil wm" for all that ails them and to prey upon BW foolish enough to want them in their lives.

To aspire to return Harlem to the bp (and plenty live there now who are doing quite well.. but unfortunately too many dbr still remain) is as fooolish as aspiring to returning America to the 1950's...in other words, it "ain't all it's cracked up to be." Just as Harlem was not great then, is just as America was also not great in the 50's..whether it appeared so on the surface or not. There were a lot of unhappy people in these times.

People will prosper when they are integrated with all members of the community. The world is such that we cannot (nor should we seek to ) avoid each other. Our nation, and the world is stronger when we can see our (non dbr) brothers and sisters of all races as our fellow HUMAN BEINGS...this ridiculous man is advocating the very opposite of this proven (time and time again) theorem. No sane person would take his words seriously.

I wonder if he has apologized or paid restitution to all those people he robbed and terrorized.He has not learned his lesson, because he is still robbing and terrorising...this time as a "devout" christian from behind his "pulpit."

Anonymous said...

"Hmmmmmmmm. I suppose that was meant to be funny Anon: 142
But since we're asking stupid questions, allow me to ask you one. Whose name is at the top-mine or the CIA- There is your answer...."

Well, the CIA has always used numerous front names and organizations to implement their plans. So you never know..

Anonymous said...

His words speak for themselves. The mixing of church and state and crossing the line as he did in this sermon could put his tax exempt status at risk and cancel religious meal ticket.

Problem solved.

V/r

Clarice

Pamela said...

The amazing this about the minister he also produced a video that for a few minutes told bw to date outside of the race and leave dbrbm alone. I saw this on two other Ir blogs (forget which ones). I was absolutely stunned at this considering his normal rants.

I would never attend his church. He does not seem to like anybody.

Anonymous said...

Sara, this is a waste of time.

a.f.

Taylor-Sara said...

I disagree. I think we bw should consider carefully who we give our loyalties to, and whether or not it is feasible to do so....

Anonymous said...

"She was the first lady of the church! Her man was the pastor-and they were PRETENDING to be a happily MARRIED couple!"


You got be lying! Lord have mercy! I mean really LORD - HAVE - MERCY! There is no way...

I can't even find words. This woman obviously didn't take the help bc of this guy being a pastor.

Shame shame shame ...all that just to have a guy. Wow. This is just awful.

And pretending to be married!

Taylor-Sara said...

No, girl I'm not. After that incident, I double checked, just out of nosiness-they are NOT married, but I did not blow the whistle on them....

Pamela said...

That is absolutely dreadful how they were pretending to be married. That is total madness there. No man is worth that. Sorry.

Anonymous said...

"No, girl I'm not. After that incident, I double checked, just out of nosiness-they are NOT married, but I did not blow the whistle on them...."




That is some serious fronting and evil. I just don't know what to think about BP anymore and here i was thinking i was missing out by being an introvert.

This - ish is truly despicable and there is no way that this chick can think this is normal. He is disrespecting her in the highest and beating her too. When he kills her his church will probably make excuses "the devil is busy."


I live in a BC (not for long) and I keep to myself (thank God) and it seems like there are always new levels of depravity and conniving, lying, and scheming.


Talk about dreg of society.


I hope she is not going to stay with this guy. Does she know about or read your blog?

Anonymous said...

do you ever have anything nice to say about black men? just remember a wm may treat you well at first, but a wm can dog you out with that same quickness as a black man...

Taylor-Sara said...

No, girl. ppl are too crazy! Only a few close family members know about my blog. I NEVER tell anyone in order to protect my immediate family. You would not beleive some of the hate mail I get from dbrbm. I am very careful about letting ppl know. Besides she is so far removed from reality, she's almost a hopeless case! She thinks she has a good life because her man is using the church as his own personal ATM. So they have plenty of cash, and extras. I think she is willing to endure a few broken bones to have the title first lady, and to live an affluent life..

Taylor-Sara said...

I do. I think I've repeatedly said how much I love and admire Pres. Obama. I have also said Bill Cosby is a great role model, and I think, a wonderful man regardless of what anyone says of him. I also love Colin Powell, Have great respect for Minister Farakan (sp?) although I do not agree with all of his ideologies. I'm crazy about Judge Brown, and Judge Mathis, and there are many others I love and admire. I have some wonderful men in my family, as well as a few damaged. But most are wonderful, and I certainly had a loving and wonderful father. (whom I miss dearly since his death) I hold bm's feet to the fire because I just do not believe you EVER let a man shirk his duties and responsibilities. In my eyes there is NOTHING worse than a man who will not take his place in the community and do everything in his power to provide, protect, and guide his offspring into adulthood in safety, security, and love. Too many bm are being let off the hook because ppl think they lack the capability, and drive to do what normal men do for their women and children. They don't lack anything. They have simply been pitied, and coddled until they are nearly defunct as men. They must be made accountable for their actions and be EXPECTED to act like men. This is their ONLY chance to redeem themselves, and survive. Otherwise, they are doomed to extinction -just like any other obsolete creature...
As for wm dogging women. I think I have said ad nauseum- ALL men MUST be vetted...

Anonymous said...

Have great respect for Minister Farakan (sp?) although I do not agree with all of his ideologies.


You do realize Farrakhan has called whites "not evolved yet" and said we "must end their world" he is also against interracial marriage.

India said...

@Anon 11:36pm

Do Bm ever have anything nice to say about Bw?
Sara I'm just tired of people asking you questions such as: "Would you date a "good Bm"? "Do you ever say anything nice about Bm?" "Do you like Bm?" "Do you hate all Bm?" I mean why don't any of you ask these DBRBm those same questions. Why does a Bw always have to be scrutinized, and criticized for the opinions they make.
Bm make nasty, disrespect, untruthful comments about Bw everyday, and no one except Sara, CW, and Evia calls them out on it.

Mr.(evil)Q(you know who) is a good example of what I've been trying to say. That even most Bm who go to college are DBR, and ignorant. Don't let them fool you. So Anon please ask a Bm the same question.

Sara, I know you wanted to explain, but I wish you didn't have to.

Taylor-Sara said...

sigh! Didn't I just say I did not agree with all his ideologies??? What I respect about him is that he beleives in men taking personal responsibility. rejecting drug use, and being proactive and business oriented. I knew someone was going to use him as reason to try to start some dissention.....

Anonymous said...

"No, girl. ppl are too crazy! Only a few close family members know about my blog. I NEVER tell anyone in order to protect my immediate family. You would not beleive some of the hate mail I get from dbrbm."



True, I wasn't thinking. You are right to protect yourself to the hilt.

Golden Silence said...

"...[t]hat even most Bm who go to college are DBR, and ignorant."

Going to college means nothing nowadays since almost anyone can get in and get their degree. MLQ is a lunatic. My head hurts trying to read his drivel partly because it's full of hate, and partly because it's full of typos, grammatical errors, misspellings and other made up things.

I also dislike the term "good Black man." I don't hear White, Latino, Asian, etc. referring to themselves as "good [fill in race] men." Being good should be something you just are, not something you have to prove or announce.

Anonymous said...

Do Bm ever have anything nice to say about Bw? ...ever read Love is the Beautiful black woman??

India said...

@GS:
I agree 200%.

@Anon 3:10pm:
You're kidding right? Why don't you try going on YouTube, and give those Bm that book? Ask D.L Hugley does he have anything nice to say about Bw? Ask MLQ does he have anything nice to say about Bw? Do you think a book about loving a Bw will halt the bs Bm spew about Bw?

Obviously you've been asleep,
Because you would know Bm have been disrespecting, degrading, and criticizing Bw in public, in the bc, and in songs. So please take your Bm protectionism spew on some other blog, because it's not needed hear, and for your information; I could go on and on about the Bm, who make nasty comments about Bw, but I don't have all day.

Sara, TROLL Patrol

Pamela said...

Either I'm really old (NOT) or I have been in my cave. Who on earth is MLQ? It sounds like someone that I may not want to know much about. I just want to make sure I avoid MLQ.

Delishmish said...

Well, I read some of the comments, and thought I would chime in as it were, again. Of course, there are always THREE sides to every situation..my truth, your truth and the "thing" that actually happened..= 3 sides

SO I checked out this book..and believe these are the words the author may have used to describe his product as it were..(or maybe his representative used these words)..

............................

Product Description
"LOVE,IS, THE BEAUTIFUL BLACK WOMAN" is a tribute to all Black Women. It is my praise and trophy to the strong independent women of color that I''ve met and yet to meet. The good, the bad , the indifferent. I hope my poems reflects and mirrors all the variety of women I admire and gain strength from.
.........................

You know what jumps out at me...his description (or the description) of BW as strong and independent. These are fairly masculine traits...well, we are WOMEN, not men...it is men who should be strong and independent.

He also speaks of drawing strength from these women...well..the only women he should be drawing strength from are his mother..or extremly close women relatives who love him, and he loves..It is men who should be giving strength to women...not the other way around....I think he is really paying tribute to Mammy...which is nice, because she generally gets no thanks.

I am sure many will disagree.. that's ok. We can disagree. These are my thoughts and opinions. I just think women need to return to being women. I dislike these "strong, independent" labels attached to BW.

BW (in this modern age especially) are some of the most fragile women because they have had to shoulder so much because BM keep leaning on them, and they have allowed it.
I think it is more apt to call a BW a survivor...because many BW keep surviving the onslaught..and now thankfully, many realize that this is a war we do not have to be a part of.

Yes, we are able to take care of ourselves, but the truth is that so should the man who we select to be our mate be able to take care of the ENTIRE household and family. Such is the burden of the male species.

I advocate a return to femininity because we are women. That does not mean you are beneath your partner in any way. It means that he is doing what he should be doing biologically. Many BM have not learned this, and keep placing pressure on BW around them to be strong and independent..it is an unnatural state, and not to be confused with survival.

Also, I am pretty sure most women don't want a "trophy presentation" for being "strong and independent." ALL they want is a mate who will protect them, cherish and love them (as they in turn cherish and love the mate) as they keep the home fires burning with wood to spare.

By the way, why on earth is he trying to give a "trophy" to bad and indifferent women. That makes no sense to me..but then again neither does his book. I don't want a book from some stranger dedicated to me. He needs to dedicate that book to the very narrow band of women who have directly impacted his life. I also hope he conducts whatever profits he gets into THEIR bank accounts for the time they spent being "strong" for him and giving him "strength"..They need to be reimbursed for all of that!!!..

India said...

@Pamela

He is a conceited, ignorant DBRbm, who spews hateful tirades about Bw, and calls them sellouts, then he claims to be dating a Bw who is a lawyer. I saw his inane comments on IRDC blog. The thread was "Why Black women date White men?" He was criticizing every Bw on there for dating non-blk men.

I've never seen such ridiculous comments in my life, and he actually has his own blog. I don't go on his blog, because I do not want to expose myself to so much hate. Sara could tell you more about him, because he actually tries to leave comments on here, and we use an acronym for his name, because we don't want to attract flies.

Anonymous said...

He (or she) is a sad, very very unattractive LOSER whose entire life is driven by Sara's blog and Evia's blog. ...First he harassed CW, and was banned, and now him and his band of loonies watches these blogs obsessively. He calls black women "nappy headed sellouts" and wonders why BW seem to want nothing to do with him and "HIS ILK." He is extremely bitter because he is so repulsive.

He is also a toe freak..and constantly accuses us of "licking the white mans toes"....knowing full well that this is what HE does when he is in prison..and mind you, that could be a prison of his own making, because he thinks he has the right to interject his pathetic being into a strangers life. He is the kind of dbr black man who finds it impossible to think that many black women are simply repelled by HIM and his ILK...it's just that simple.

You pass him on the street corner everyday. He claims to have a job, and perhaps he may, but he still finds much time to be wholly UNproductive and downright abusive to women he does not know, and never will. He is the tiny little smelly dirty garden gnome yapping as you walk by, (and who you never notice) begging for your attention...

BUT you are too busy LIVING YOUR LIFE.

That is who MrMLQ is...a NOBODY!!!

Anonymous said...

Sara, I notice that Evia and certain other IR bloggers now have a policy of no longer allowing posts of trolls (not even for 'teaching moments') any more. You might want to consider this policy also. Anyone who truly wants to know your views will take the time to read through at least some of your prior posts. These trolls are desperately trying to distract and/or change the topic - just like this Pastor Manning. And just like Manning, he wants to steal the time, resources and minds of BW for his own purposes and his own gain. You may want to rethink giving DBR trolls and all other kinds of trolls any forum for stealing from BW. You don't have to justify your views to anyone, especially considering you've made your views abundantly plain to all who care to read your blog. And if they can't or won't read, then they are a lost cause anyway. Just a suggestion. Thanks.

Pamela said...

I was thinking he/she was some kind of vile rap artist or other dimwitted entertainer that is not worth discussing. I know I am not up on stuff but at least once in a while I hear a name of an artist. He/she is just an annoying blogger that has no life and should be ignored by all women that have fulfilled lives.

Never waste a minute with anyone that will not help you press forward in your life. Reading (or responding to) blogs and watching videos of these vile people does nothing but give them attention they do not deserve. You can come up with a hypothetical example of a situation to use for a teaching moment without engaging a fool. Most, if not all of us, can create a scenario either from our own experiences or what others have experienced. We are grown women and do not have time for spoiled brats.

Thanks for the info.

Taylor-Sara said...

Good points Sandra. That sums it up perfectly...

Anonymous said...

"I also dislike the term "good Black man." I don't hear White, Latino, Asian, etc. referring to themselves as "good [fill in race] men." Being good should be something you just are, not something you have to prove or announce."



I agree Golden Silence. Someone blogged about this too.

Basically they said that this is a ploy used by not so good men. They basically imitate whatever behaviors they think "good black men" would show (and God only knows what those are as the bar is so low) and then they get pissed when the facade doesn't get them who/what they want. Hence they whine, "I am a good black man and BW still won't or are doing (insert negativity)".


I feel that I am a good person, but I don't announce it to people. I don't expect cookies for it. And while I have been taken advantage of far too many times for my liking, I would never suggest that I would stop being a good person in relation to something negative that someone else is doing as most BM seem to do when they highlight that they are "nice guys" or "good black men".


It almost sounds like animal training when I type that phrase or say it in my head, "good black man" followed by a head pat or doggie treat.


It does sound abnormal.

Anonymous said...

"You know what jumps out at me...his description (or the description) of BW as strong and independent. These are fairly masculine traits...well, we are WOMEN, not men...it is men who should be strong and independent.

He also speaks of drawing strength from these women...well..the only women he should be drawing strength from are his mother..or extremly close women relatives who love him, and he loves..It is men who should be giving strength to women...not the other way around....I think he is really paying tribute to Mammy...which is nice, because she generally gets no thanks.

I dislike these "strong, independent" labels attached to BW.

BW (in this modern age especially) are some of the most fragile women because they have had to shoulder so much because BM keep leaning on them, and they have allowed it.


I think it is more apt to call a BW a survivor...because many BW keep surviving the onslaught..and now thankfully, many realize that this is a war we do not have to be a part of."




I agree. I had a Jamaican approach me this week and his opening line was "strong BW". I was livid inside.

India said...

@Anon 8:18pm

"He is the tiny little smelly dirty garden gnome yapping as you walk by, (and who you never notice) begging for your attention."

Haha.......LMAOOOOO! funny.

@Pamela
I try to stay off YouTube, and other websites, that's aimed towards degrading BW.

Anonymous said...

I agree. I had a Jamaican approach me this week and his opening line was "strong BW". I was livid inside.

...............................

Really..
was he a small smelly pathetic hideous creature?..if so ..you may have been approached by MrLQ.....and you should have run screaming for the nearest lesbian bar...because he could turn any woman gay, and any gay man straight.

We have to be careful not to turn this into a Us against the Caribbean peoples thing...MrLQ (who mentions his island heritage at every turn) is clearly ONE dememented person who does not represent Jamaicans per se. In fact, from what I have observed, they tend to be a very racially mixed diverse and hardworking proud people, which is the opposite of who ole crazy MrLQ is.

India said...

@Anon 11:50pm


"Because he could turn any woman gay, and any gay man straight."

LMAO...Hey! He probably could.

"We have to be careful not to turn this into a Us against the Caribbean peoples thing."

United we stand, and Divided we fall; I know its cliche, but it's true.
Lord! I did not know that ignorant man was from the Caribbean. People in the islands (like my family and I) do tend to be very racially mixed, and diverse. My Aunt, Uncle, and (4) cousins all date interracially. I was never raised with the "only a Bm" ideology. I wonder what happened to him growing up.

Anyway, not everybody in the Caribbean is as inane, and conceited as MLQ. This man does not discriminate. He hates black Caribbean women also.

That's all I'm going to say about that, because
(Mindless people are Lurking Quietly.) M.L.Q

I know its corny, I’m just having fun :p

India said...

@Anon 10:07pm

I think you might have been approached by a (what we call in the Caribbean) Rastaferian, Because majority or all of the Rastaferians that I've seen believe in Black love, and most do approach women in that way. I've had a couple of them in my country come up to me with the "Strong BW" speech. That's just my opinion.

Taylor-Sara said...

Anon 11:50 No one but you even *hinted* at an us against them thing with Caribbean ppl. We also have to be careful not to read something into a post-that is clearly not there. Most of us did not even know he was from the Carribean because many of us simply scroll past his post....

Anonymous said...

All I have to say is I'm just glad I'm an atheist. I have always found those Penecostal churches to be so utterly FAKE.

I should know. I dated a Pastor once. NEVER AGAIN.

Welcome said...

This is why bp need to vet black leaders. Just because someone who is a leader happens to be black doesn't mean we should follow them. We have no idea where they will be leading us.

India said...

So true, cool_splash1. I thought I was alone on that subject.

Welcome said...

What's funny is that a black leader and who was a Civil Rights activist believed that as well.

Funny I got dissed the hell out for saying that at scifinoir and afrofuturism when I was a member (well I still am I just don't go there)Saying that we should support our black leaders because they have a hard time especially bm. I was like what I'm not supporting anyone just because he or she happens to be black. A year before that I might have thought different, because I was young and idealistic etc., but after hearing bm talk that was out the window.

John Henrick Clarke thought something was wrong about the Million Man March, because of it's exclusion of the women. He said that any group that excludes it's women has problems.

Anonymous said...

"I do. I think I've repeatedly said how much I love and admire Pres. Obama. I have also said Bill Cosby is a great role model.."

Sara, i just wanted to say you don't have to go down that path of mentioning how much you love and admire 'good' bm and that you're only speaking about the dbrbm. you don't have to, that's beneath you, this is your blog, don't let anybody manipulate you into praising bm or validating that you're worthy of your black 'card'.

i just hate how it is us black people that support evil men like these fake pastors

Anonymous said...

Hello All,

Sorry for the double post earlier.

It was not my intention of coming across as us vs them when it comes to AA's and Caribs.


I was responding to delish's post and it was coincidental that i had a recent experience with a jamaican man that fit that.


Interestingly enough I am in the south and we seem to have a few africans, caribs {men} here and there and I have observed dbr-ness in them just like the AA male population here.

India said...

@cool_splash1
"He said that any group that excludes it's women has problems."

Excludes, attacks, insult, degrade...
He wasn't lying. Look at all the problems these Dbrm have.

Sophisticatedblkwoman said...

"sigh! Didn't I just say I did not agree with all his ideologies??? What I respect about him is that he beleives in men taking personal responsibility. rejecting drug use, and being proactive and business oriented. I knew someone was going to use him as reason to try to start some dissention....."

Sara don't be wearied, the rest of us that read your blog truly get it. The psychology of the church is something serious. I was raised a christian and there are some things that I feel people just shouldn't be engaged in, due to this upbringing. But, I find myself at the age of 28 wondering why I would rather study my academics and watch church on TV Sunday mornings. The only reason I feel guilty for thinking this way is due to my son, I know he needs to have certain things embedded in him. I don't prefer an all black church and I've attended churches that were more of a mixed environment, something I most definitely prefer my son to be in since he is mixed. There was a church I was going to in the past that I liked so much, because there were all types of interracial parings, but after they fired the pastor I felt a bit strange and stopped attending. After reading the post and thinking back of the non sense I've experienced myself with churches, these people at that particular church were apparently smart.

Anonymous said...

I suppose all black churches are like other black environments - poisoned by dbr-ness.


I was raised in the church and by the time I was 13 I am sure i had developed PTSD from it. There were some abusive things that took place, but the most relevant to this post I can say was the widespread emotional,spiritual, and later financial abuse.


Maybe it is because I am in the South, but you know church is taken seriously here.


I guess this is another orphan precept as Halima would say: I should support the Black Church because it is a refuge and a safe haven.

It seems back in the day Black churches used to be places where the BC got their needs met(food and clothing for the destitute), issues addressed - personal and political (counseling, community organizing, protests), educated, and emotionally nourished. I gander that back then ministers also were more educated and well read (in relation to their flock)- thus respected.



But now that has warped. I can remember dreading going to church. It would cause me so much upset and distress.

When it wasn't boring it was literally filling me with fear and anxiety. I got a lot of crazy messages that were generally consistent across many churches regarding how life is suffering, it is noble to suffer for Christ, and all you have to do is "hold on... and wait on God". So I would sit there and believe this and think that I had not suffered enough. We were encouraged to take up crosses I could go on. I am thinking isn't life going to kick my butt regardless - why do I need to seek more?


Then there was tons of guilt and shame lashed out.


I also hated that my mom used to mention things about me in church (usually good things) bc they sometimes ended up in sermons in a negative way even though they were good things.

I was not the only person this happened to. I had a BM childhood friend and his minister did the same to him. He casually mentioned that he liked earth science as some 8th graders do and there was a sermon about how "rocks, trees, and plants can't offer you salvation.."


Then there is the "God told me to tell you..." manipulation crew that comes from everyone who thinks they are "annointed".


Not to mention "prophets" who my family has personally been victimized by. My mother was fanatic about prophets. I am not saying that there aren't people who have gifts, but come on.


These are just a few methods, only the tip of the iceberg, in the modern black church (and i am sure that someone else can break it down better), that can be used as tools to emotionally and spiritually abuse parishioners.




Then the tithing (prosperity- sow a seed) trend started booming. I understand that you are supposed to tithe and give offerings. In my religion there is a similar concept and I understand the parable of the sower. i respect people that think this way and feel it works.


I personally tithed out of my allowance as a kid, part time job as a teen, regular job as a young adult, gave to building funds for buildings that never were completed, the anniversary, women's day, men's day, auxilary offerings...etc.


But I think there is too much room for financial abuse. Some churches have started requiring applications. Now you must disclose your income and some require W2's. There are bulliteins(sp) published listing who gave what. There are minimums for offerings. For example for a special day they will ask for increments of $100.00. I have witness people giving their bill/rent/house note under the principle of the sower.




Like someone said above many BM ministers are not educated. All you have to say is that you are "called" and the hustle is on. I have noticed in some churches the ministers appear threatened by the more educated members of their flock. I have seen people blasted when they ask questions in the church. Scripture is murdered and sermons are more about theatrical anecdotes instead of sound teaching that can make your life better.


I think there are a lot of subtle and blatant tools that a pastor can use to "promote" his own agenda.



I am not talking about the normal churches.


But I do think that there are a lot of churches that that are predator dens with the pastor being the head predator.

Anonymous said...

Good grief, Lil, Wayne is at the Grammy Awards with his underwear exposed to the world...so embrassing. And, he could care less what people think. Whereas, Robin Thicke and Alan Toussant is dressed very well.

a.

Anonymous said...

And, lil wayne just won again for what? His face looks like a train just ran over it. Where is the qualit??????????

a.

India said...

"Lil, Wayne is at the Grammy Awards with his underwear exposed to the world"

Hmm...I can't stand a man that don't know how to pull up his pants. Now, Robin Thicke, that's a man who knows how to dress. I'm tired of people thinking something is wrong with me, because I am 23 love a conservative gentlemen and don't like the so called "thug" who asks me out using ebonics, and don't know when to put on a belt.

"lil wayne just won again for what? His face looks like a train just ran over it. Where is the qualit??"

It went out the window, along with the respect he has for Bw. Anyway, Why did he receive a Grammy for disrespecting Bw, and dehumanizing them? Lord! When are we going to wake up, and stop supporting their music, and their videos. How do people support a man, that has a million tatoos, his underwear exposed (how is that even attractive) and boast about having 500,000 dollars worth of diamonds in his teeth (so unattractive). Is it me or is that just inanely obtuse.

Felicity said...

I really think that people need to read what the bible says, not what pastor says, Read what the bible says, meditate on the word of God and you will be enlighted. It is very very sad that 'wait on God speech'is ruining so many lives. When God wanted things, he called things into being, he didn't want for conditions to change. Ladies who want to get married, sit down on what they want in a husband, and then God will move, God is waiting on you to make the first move. I wish more black women would start to read Napoleon Hill, Willace Whittles etc and they will start to renew their minds.

Welcome said...

Good video on IR
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MNKJ8dRHblc

VERNON said...

"You know what jumps out at me...his description (or the description) of BW as strong and independent. These are fairly masculine traits...well, we are WOMEN, not men...it is men who should be strong and independent."

"He also speaks of drawing strength from these women...well..the only women he should be drawing strength from are his mother..or extremly close women relatives who love him, and he loves..It is men who should be giving strength to women...not the other way around....I think he is really paying tribute to Mammy...which is nice, because she generally gets no thanks."

"I am sure many will disagree.. that's ok. We can disagree. These are my thoughts and opinions. I just think women need to return to being women. I dislike these "strong, independent" labels attached to BW."

"BW (in this modern age especially) are some of the most fragile women because they have had to shoulder so much because BM keep leaning on them, and they have allowed it.
I think it is more apt to call a BW a survivor...because many BW keep surviving the onslaught..and now thankfully, many realize that this is a war we do not have to be a part of."

"Yes, we are able to take care of ourselves, but the truth is that so should the man who we select to be our mate be able to take care of the ENTIRE household and family. Such is the burden of the male species."

"I advocate a return to femininity because we are women. That does not mean you are beneath your partner in any way. It means that he is doing what he should be doing biologically. Many BM have not learned this, and keep placing pressure on BW around them to be strong and independent..it is an unnatural state, and not to be confused with survival."

"Also, I am pretty sure most women don't want a "trophy presentation" for being "strong and independent." ALL they want is a mate who will protect them, cherish and love them (as they in turn cherish and love the mate) as they keep the home fires burning with wood to spare."

"By the way, why on earth is he trying to give a "trophy" to bad and indifferent women. That makes no sense to me..but then again neither does his book. I don't want a book from some stranger dedicated to me. He needs to dedicate that book to the very narrow band of women who have directly impacted his life. I also hope he conducts whatever profits he gets into THEIR bank accounts for the time they spent being "strong" for him and giving him "strength"..They need to be reimbursed for all of that!!!.."




I just discovered this blog about my poetry book & I just wanted to respond to some of the comments.

I do agree that it should be the men that should be strong & independent, but when I was inspired to write the first version of my book back in 1980--What I saw was so many Single Black Women Raising their children alone. That alone is what I saw as strength & independence. And my only talent, I feel, is writng poetry. So, I wanted to try and put my praise,admiration, dedication(trophy if you will)into a book just for Black Women. My way, through poetry, of gratitude.

And Yes, I do admire all the qualities that Black Women exude--albeit some are "Bad & Indifferent"
I just wanted to share a more positive side that I see in Black Women. Then maybe those women will see themselves as much much more. Like Princesses & Queens.

And yes--these are my thoughts & my opinions as well. Normally, I try to share them as much as I can through my poems.

keisha said...

This is the reason I left the chuch. Too much 'waiting on god'. I won't . I will go out and experience life without wondering what god thinks is okay and otherwise. It's a waste.