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Saturday, December 6, 2008

Black beauty through the eyes of white and black men....









These are typical choices for BM, but look what WM are choosing.....






All happily married (dark) sistas, whom we KNOW bm would NEVER have considered 'wife material'.....








Count Ferdinand and wife Mary...













I think the pictures speak for themselves. Lets talk about what black beauty means to bm, then we will talk about what it means to wm.

You can turn on any show, or go anywhere and see bw being discriminated against by bm. Many women have written me crying, and bemoaning this issue, and asking me why bm only seem to find light skinned/mixed/white women attractive. I will tell you, but it is going to piss some of you off, so be forewarned. When it comes to bm the majority are puppets who refuse to think for themselves. They are coonified, and will celebrate, glorify, and uphold anything resembling white. For decades women who looked like Vanessa Williams and Jane Kennedy were put on a pedestal because they looked like a darker version of a ww. Now don't get me wrong, I love these women, they are not the issue at all. Please understand that. The issue is that bm are openly discriminating against dark bw, and more often than not ANY bw nowadays. BM will deny this of course. They will claim it's just a preference or that dark skinned women are unattractive or have attitudes. Or that bw are imagining things, and we cannot beleive our lying eyes (lol) But I'm sure you all have seen the evidence and know that we are not dreaming. Of course bw were blamed for them wanting any-and everything non-black. Y'all know if they don't prefer bw-it's OUR FAULT (LOL). Our hair was too short and nappy, our skin too dark or the black was showing if we were light. Our African-like features made them want to gag! The point is dark women have been made to feel unattractive and 2nd best by bm on an ongoing basis for years. This is why the collective self esteem of your average bw is tetering on low.
But my feeling on this is that one man's cast off is another man's dream girl. Stop crying about bm making derisive remarks about dark women/blk women and simply MOVE ON! Don't waste time on men who would disrespect, demean or waste your life. Life is just too precious and short to waste. (IOWs), if bm don't find you attractive -find men who do. It's not rocket science. If you listen to a man, and watch his actions-he will let you know who he is.
The truth is many bm are jealous of wm and their success and power in this country. They want nothing more than to PRETEND that they are the ideal man in America and play the part. You see this with bm who insist that their women have long hair, and skin as light as they can possible get it. This not only demonstrates a deep seated hostility and disdain for one's own self, it also does not bode well for how he sees the woman. (She usually ends up being treated like an accessory-he wears for special occasions.) He can be as black as tar but if she's darker than summer tan, she's not suitable for anything but a booty call. I see bw still allowing themselves to be used for booty calls by bm everyday. While crying and wondering why he won't treat them with love and respect. I will tell you why. Because you are not respecting yourself! You must love yourself enough to get the hell away from ppl who will use up your time, your body, and your life, and then marry a bright/non blk/white woman!
I want you to take a look at the upper pictures. All of these dark sistas are being loved and cherished by wm. What do you think their chances for marriage would have been, had they waited for a bm???
When is the last time you saw a bm marry a sista who looks like ANY of these dark sistas above, unless she was came with a trust fund, or some other high incentive for him to use? One of these wm is a very wealthy Count! He married his wife Mary and made her a Countess! They have 3 children, a great life and she says he constantly tells her she is beautiful. How many bm do you think have told her that?
The truth is that many bm are discriminating against women who do not fit the phenotype of light/bright and white women. If a woman has to be a certain shade for him to consider even asking her out, then he has shown himself to be shallow, superficial, and oftentimes self denigrating. Black women PLEASE stop trying to fit into the narrow parameters of beauty these pieces -of -men have set up! You will only end up hurt! REAL men want REAL women- not a collection of European Body parts! For many dark women the only time they are told they are beautiful is oftentimes by wp! How pathetic is that. I remember high school and college. I was considered very attractive but I often felt that it was more because I made no apologies for my color. I'm dark, and love my chocolate skin. I never felt less than anyone, or wished to be any other color. When I made Mayday queen of my school, many girls were shocked, and some even had tears in their eyes. This was surprising to me until I really thought it over. It wasn't about the stupid plastic sector, they gave me or the fake silver crown. It wasn't about those things at all. It was because I was dark. See they were so used to being in 2nd-3rd and 4th place, they could not fathom a dark Mayday queen. But because I won, they felt a little higher....

When bm tried the "you're so pretty to be so dark crap"-I always walked away.I always let them know I was not going to put up with that crap. In fact, what I loved about the wm, is that I never heard the "to be dark" part with them. They would simply say "You're so pretty...." I think many sistas can relate to that. It was like a breath of fresh air! I didn't have to hear about why was I wearing my long hair up, instead of down? Why did I sometimes wear a weave? Why did I wear lip gloss? (lip gloss makes big lips look bigger-and my lips are big) I think the best thing about wm is simply that they have an appreciation for black beauty, that bm have long ago lost! *if they ever had it*

Many women have written and told me that since they have been dating/engaged/married to wm, this is the first time they feel beautiful! That he appreciates their afro-centric features and loves their hair, skin, nose etc. They are shocked because they have been told for years that wm only want bw for sex and do NOT find them attractive. Ladies this is pure programming. Liken it to the matrix, where reality is not what it seems but most bw are unaware... Many sistas think they must stay with a bm out of loyalty or necessity. Lets address that. When it comes to loyalty, it must be a two way street! It's really as simple as that! Let me tell you ladies a little secret. Relationships are like scales. They MUST balance.

Case in point: I knew someone who was dating a fairly wealthy man. He was loving and kind, and quite generous. He would go out of his way for her, and often bought her very expensive items, pretty much anything she wanted. The problem was he loved home cooked meals, and she hated to cook. She would often complain viciously about him begging for home cooked meals. Yet she quit her job, and had no problem living off of him yet refusing to cook the meals. I told her she should keep working and cook a few meals because the relationship was becoming way too one-sided. She told me I did not know what I was talking about and Jay, (whom she had now moved in with) was fine with the way things were. One day he came in and she was laying in the living room watching a soap opera. The house was dirty, and he had to prepare his own dinner. He stormed around angry for awhile until she asked what his problem was. He then turned and began to berate her laziness, how he was footing ALL of the bills and yet he could not even have a decent looking home (since she moved in ) or get a hot meal. He then began yelling about her 50-60 pair of expensive shoes (bought on his cc) and other expenses. It ended with him asking her to move out! She was shocked and devastated. She could not understand why he wasn't crazy about her like he had been before. I tried to explain to her that even when there are no outward signs of it. People are ALWAYS keeping score. She should have kept her job so she would not look like a free loader, and if she was having him buy all these expensive things for her, she should have cooked those meals once in a while. Nobody likes to feel used...
But I'm way off track. Bottom about that is that there has to be balance....
Now, as I was saying, many sistas are finding that wm appreciate ALL shades of black beauty, and are even more likely to be with darker bw. Now my theory on this is because I think darker bw are often so mistreated in the bc, they are more likely to think "Well, what have I got to lose-they can't treat me worse than I've suffered over here!" This line of thinking leaves them open to 'other men' stepping up to the plate. Also, many wm have noticed that bm disrespect and demean bw with every breath. They have seen bw suffer at the hands of bm at every turn, and they are more and more inclined to take advantage of this situation. Recently, I went to a ball game at my young cousin's school (she goes to a predominantly blk school) I was not surprised to see the young bbs hugged up with white/Latino/Asian girls. What was shocking to me was that the young blk girls were doing the same! It seemed every other bg was with a white/Latino/Asian boy! My cousin's boyfriend (blk boy) was angry and flabbergasted. "When did y'all start stabbing us in the back? " he demanded. I held my breath and waited for her answer. "We're not stabbing anybody in the back" She snapped. "We're just loving the ones who love us back!".....

118 comments:

Tonia said...

It looks like the wm are discriminating too. They constantly seem to go for chocolate sistas. I'm light skinned,and I would very much like to meet and marry a good wm. But they walk right past me, and go for my friends yvette and tracey. *They are both dark* I don't think anyone should discriminate against a woman's color Sara, you seem to be justifying it when it's done by wm.

Taylor-Sara said...

Tonia, I just don't think that's whats happening. I think that it's the darker woman in the bc who is the most abused and ready for change. She is therefore more likely to be open to a good man regardless of color and (I think)many wm are recognizing this and putting this little tidbit of info to use. WM are quite resourceful. It is common for them to act on good information, and use it to their own advantage. They can see that many good bw in the bc are much more open to IRs as of late....

Anonymous said...

There are plenty of butt-fugly light skinned women and white women in the world. I found the first seven pictures of women highly attractive and the last 3 not so attractive, and it was not because they were dark.

Also the first 4 women are married to NBA players so of course they are going to be good-looking women as most wealthy men tend to marry good-looking women, regardless of skin tone or color.

As for black men being jealous of white men, only a really small % of white men have power in this country (something like 0.000001), the rest of the white men are no better or no worse off than everybody else. Why would a NBA superstar be jealous of a UPS truck driver or a white man working at Home Depot?

Anonymous said...

"Pretty for a dark-skinned girl"

Don't ever want to hear that one again. That post was very insightful. I have never had a wm that I've dated make the statement above... and I think it is very important for bw to teach young black girls that they should spend time with and give their love to men who appreciate it. I remember my first white boyfriend. He would tell me all the time how beautiful I was and I didn't believe him. I couldn't figure out why he would say it so often (and so plainly)... and that he must have some motive for it. Turns out, he just thought I was beautiful... it's a good thing I figured that out or I'd be a grown insecure woman, and probably lonely too.

~C~

Taylor-Sara said...

Anon, no one is saying they should be with unattractive women. Don't try to put words in my mouth. And obviously we are not talking about an NBA player being jealous of a UPS driver. We are talking about how you can look through the whole pictorial and not find ONE PLAYER MARRIED TO A DARK SKINNED WOMAN! It seems like the ppl who post under Anon, are always trying to cause dissention.....
PS, and I am NOT saying wm are better than bm. I am saying they are more marriage minded, more powerful, and much more likely to find an average looking bw attractive, special, and suitable for marriage...

Phantom Mare said...

Great and insightful post Sara.

I understand what you saying. I think people sometimes overanalyze what you say. But you are stting some rather simply facts.

cool_splash1 said...

There is a McDonalds Commerical with a bm and his girlfriend or wife. The man is dark milk chocolate, but the girl is light skinned.

Anyway I noticed this with movies like Doctor Dolittle etc.

Taylor-Sara said...

Hey cool splash.
You notice it constantly. Eddie Murphy who said he would never marry a woman without a prenup, changed his mind when he saw his biracial wife, and said "theres the woman I'm going to marry" This was just based on her skin! This is common with color struck, coonified bm. I think we all know whether you consider the above sistas attractive or not, that they would have had almost NO CHANCE of getting a bm whether he was an NBA player or a garbage man...

Anonymous said...

There are plenty of butt-fugly light skinned women and white women in the world. I found the first seven pictures of women highly attractive and the last 3 not so attractive, and it was not because they were dark.

Also the first 4 women are married to NBA players so of course they are going to be good-looking women as most wealthy men tend to marry good-looking women, regardless of skin tone or color.

As for black men being jealous of white men, only a really small % of white men have power in this country (something like 0.000001), the rest of the white men are no better or no worse off than everybody else. Why would a NBA superstar be jealous of a UPS truck driver or a white man working at Home Depot?

December 6, 2008 4:44 PM

----------------------------------
Notice that the first 4 are light skinned women while the last 3 are dark skinned women. These men are obviously looking on the outside instead of the inside to determine whether or not the women are suitable for marriage.

The NBA Players may not be jealous of the UPS driver but they sure are jealous of the owner of all the NBA teams, NFL teams, the television networks like FOX, ABC and NBC and all those record labels that the no talent rappers and singers are signed to, That is more than that ,000001% that you are talking about.

Beautifully.Conjured.Up said...

Excellent post!!

I'm a dark-skinned woman, and growing up I always heard that comment, "you're pretty for a dark-skinned girl." It used to make me feel so bad because my light-skinned relatives and friends never received that. I even had BM tell me I shouldn't have went to the college I went to because it was only for light-skinned women!!! Also, BM assumed my hair was a weave because it was long...if I talked to a BM on the phone, he assumed I was light-skinned since my voice was "pretty" and spoke "proper." One time, this BM that I was dating and I were talking about children, if we had any together. He said (and I will NEVER forget this),"I don't care what they look like, long as one of them comes out light-skinned." WTH?! That hurt me on so many levels; so he would treat the other dark ones like crap...what if all of them came out dark?!

Since having dated WM, I can honestly say I have never had my "beauty" appreciated so much. The first time I heard a guy say "your skin is beautiful...I love the color" I asked him if he was serious because I never heard that from a BM; it took me a minute to get used to him telling me that and thinking he was honest. Everything from the strands on my head to the soles of my feet is respected...once you get treated right (WM), it's hard to go back (BM).

Sophisticatedblkwoman said...

Hi Sara, lord knows I miss reading your blog and my other two favorites. But, this semester is coming to an end and I plan to play catch up. This is so on point and I think there will be a number of comments geared towards hating on the truth of your topic.

sky said...

Thank you sara I know exactly what your talking about. I never had a bm deliberately say anything coonish to me, but their actions spoke it. i had so many bm ask me about my weave,wigs and natural hair. I also had to ask myself "do men really ask these questions?". I mean seriously what does he care. i remember one guy i was dating had dreads. he asked me when i was going to dread my hair(i was wearing a wig @ the time) i told him, "as soon as you cut off yours".

the first time i heard i was attractive blantly(sp) was when i was taking a class. i had a wm friend who needed the teacher for help, but called to him to many times and didn't want to annoy the guy. so asked me to do it. i asked him why me? he said "because your attractive so he'll likely answer you moreso than me". i never heard that in my life! and thought that was cute of him to say =).this same guy invited me to his house party and practically flirted w/ me and my friend, who both of us are dark skinned.

o and i was cheering for your cousin. im glad to see bg gettin' theirs to. no more waiting on the bm mess.pure foolishness.we're going to see MORE irr coupling between black women and non-black men nxt year. that's why these bm are working a frenzy. they never thought it would happen so quickly and so fast. i guess the 70% rate woke a lot of bw. sometimes God has to give us a bit of shock in order to wake us up from slumber.

Sophisticatedblkwoman said...

Beautifully.Conjured.Up, you are so right as a dark skinned women myself some of the things you mentioned I experienced too. I could not possibly see myself going back to a black man. I hate to sound small, but even the good ones have a mentality that I could never settle.

Anonymous said...

I could just as easily post a string of pics showing black men with dark skinned women.

Aphrodite said...

Sara this is a good topic. I think Evia said it when she asked why would a white guy want an approximation of a white woman when he has access to white women all the time - or something to that effect.






Tonia,

I think that when a woman opens all her options then she is a able to find a good guy regardless. I don't think there is a shortage of WM anytime soon - so I know you will find one of you want one. :) If anything, if coolsplashes' last post about the dip in female births from 1955-1973 then there will be 1 million extra men for a decade or so. So start planning- K?




I am sorry that BW have had to endure so much. I have never had the pretty for a dark girl comment, but I have the is there something else in your family, are those your eyes, is that your hair comments.


And I find them no less insulting and degrading. It made me so self conscious that I stopped dating. I used to feel so bad when a BM asked me this, but I had no idea why. Now I know- I was being robbed of my humanity.




I remember watching Millionaire matchmaker (forgive me) and this girl B&W biracial was set up with this biracial B&W real estate developer who had a child with a WW. During the whole date he kept asking if her eyes and hair were real.


So I guess its that deep.

Anonymous said...

The truth is many bm are jealous of wm and their success and power in this country.

Actually Sara they are not that jealous of white men right about now. These negroes are on cloud nine because of Obama. But dont forget OBAMA is THE MOST POWERFUL black man in the WORLD and he did CHOOSE a dark skinned black woman and worships her!

Taylor-Sara said...

Exactly Aphrodite. How ignorant is that for him to be asking her those questions. Most BM are so damn shallow! This is why they will buy rims that cost more than their car, and put 10.000 worth of GOLD TEETH in their mouths! I have seem bm who will spend thousands on cars, clothes and ww, but will not pay 100.00 a month in child support to take care of their children. They are all about appearances with a total disregard for substance....


And Anon, you may find such a list but I will bet you those women will be rich or famous, or have some type of INCENTIVE those men plan to USE! (exp. Star Jones,/gay man, Jennifer Hudson, guy from NY ie, free publicity) Angie Stone -used by Deangelo to further his career(And he refused to pay Ch sup. BTW) Oprah and her 20 yr. boyfriend etc...
What is the common denominator in all these relationships -The women all have something big going for themselves money, fame, connections etc. I will bet you money that you cannot find a list of bm who are wealthy, famous or high profile figures of ANY merit, married to ORDINARY BW as dark as those above. I Challenge you to get that list. I will happily post the whole thing. Because I know and you know you will never find a list of famous, rich, or otherwise high profile bm married to ordinary bw who look like the ones above.... Stop insulting our collective intelligence. You know good and well most color struck, shallow, materialistic, and callous bm would not be caught dead with the dark sistas above. Now most would be happy to use them in the dark and then give their love, affection, wealth, privaledge and vicarious power to non-blk women, that we all know....

Anonymous said...

It looks like the wm are discriminating too. They constantly seem to go for chocolate sistas. I'm light skinned,and I would very much like to meet and marry a good wm. But they walk right past me, and go for my friends yvette and tracey. *They are both dark* I don't think anyone should discriminate against a woman's color Sara, you seem to be justifying it when it's done by wm

White men dont discriminate they just dont put light women on a pedastal. I am dark and my best friend is light (almost white) and her boyfriend is white. He always tells her how pretty he thinks that I am. Could you imagine a so called "brother" telling a light skinned woman that her dark skinned friend was so pretty...would never happen. She even seems shocked!!! But light women dont have that upper hand with white men and black men dont sweat light women sweat them as much anymore because they are replacing them with the REAL thing!

Taylor-Sara said...

Obama certainly did Anon.
Obama is not only a wonderful man, he is driven, high achieving, loving, kind and a fantastic father. But do you know what is wrong with your analogy? And why you cannot use him as a good sample of a Reg. bm?
Because OBAMA WAS RAISED BY HIS WHITE FAMILY MEMBERS!!! His father deserted him as a child (no surprise there) and he was raised by his mother and her parents. What kind of man do you think he would be if he had been raised by typical BP? I think we can all guess... I don't think he would have looked twice at Michele if he had been raised by these damaged fools in the typical bc. I certainly could be wrong, but I don't think it would have happened... but either way you cannot use him as an example of a good bm, (although he's wonderful) when he was raised by white ppl....

Anonymous said...

There are two different anons posting. I am not the one talking about the women in the pics being unattractive...that is the other one!

Karla said...

Hi Sara, first off I would like to thank you for your blog. When I found it I knew there was hope. I know that your blog is about our darker skinned sitters and them finding love with a good WM. But what about us who fall in the middle skin tones ? Is there hope for us to find love with a good WM or non-black man?

Lola said...

I am also a dark skinned woman and have had no shortage of wm flirt and ask me out. I agree with whoever said wm will compliment you and make you feel so wonderful. I have had wm tell me how wonderful and soft my skin is and how beautiful my smile is.

I even had a white professor give me a gift for my birthday and tell me that my smile lights up his classroom.

BW need to go out into the world and stop holding on to BM who will not treat them well. It is such a wonderful thing to have someone appreciate you. If you can't find that with a BM, look for a Non-BM.

Taylor-Sara said...

Karla, my blog is NOT for dark skinned sistas! My blog is for ALL sistas! I have plenty of bw in my fam. of all shades/mixtures, whom I love dearly, and I would NEVER discriminate like that. This post is only meant to prove that for most wm interested in IR, are NOT judging or caring which shade of blk she is. As you can see some of those dark sistas were quite plain, yet they were all happily married to men who, obviously found them attractive enough to marry them! 2 of these wm are in the upper middle class bracket, the 3rd one is a doctor,the 4th one is a wealthy Count, and the remaining 1 is independently wealthy. All of them probably have ww falling all over them, yet look who they CHOSE! Do you think bm in their positions would have married these women???

westindianladee said...

Denzel Washington married a plain dark-skinned sistah no?

Nonetheless, this post was very insightful.

Taya said...

I agree with the first poster. wm are discriminating! For some strange reason they really seem to go for the darker bw. I'm light myself, and two yrs ago a handsome doctor moved into our subdivision. All the women in the neighborhood were trying to get his attention, incl. me. Now keep in mind I am light, and quite attractive. But he ignored me and the others (ww,hw,aw-etc) and began to follow a woman named tameka around like a dog. She was going through a divorce-her husband had gotten his degree, and was leaving her for a ww) But anyway, the doctor suddenly started taking out her trash(unasked to) mowing her lawn, land scaping her yard, and washing her car. At first she resisted, then she started letting him spend time with her. I think she was lonely (since she's dark,and plain) bm pay her no mind. Anyway she was laid off and began to have alot of financial problems. Of course he used that to worm further into her life -offering her money,(then loans when she would not take money) then sneaking paying her bills, then getting her I was hoping when her money ran out, she would be forced to move, but since he paid her bills and got her another job, she got to stay. Not jealous but I don't see what he sees in her! None of us do. She's not even pretty. Now since he was there for her, they are hot and heavy, and talking marriage! I'm too pissed for wds. He was perfect for me, and this fugly, cocoa crispy woman stole him! He discriminated against me because I'm light-does that sound fair to you?

sky said...

to taya...that is the dumbest post i've ever read from your account. move on and find someone else if this story is at all true. he found someone who wasn't stuck on herself. Incase you and the other women didn't know, men like to do the chasing. she let him chase her, so see how far he would go. you on the other practically threw yourself on him, and he's use to that. of course your dumbself didn't realize that. ms. cocoa did the right thing. she continued on with her life even though prince charming was willing to save her. i suggest you learn from ms. cocoa, she's a smart woman.

"He discriminated against me because I'm light-does that sound fair to you?"

he discriminated against you cause you were to easy to get.he'd been there and done that.

The Oracle said...

He was perfect for me, and this fugly, cocoa crispy woman stole him! He discriminated against me because I'm light-does that sound fair to you?

_______________________________

Maybe he just didn't like you. Based on the aforemention comment you don't seem like a very nice person =/

Sophisticatedblkwoman said...

Lol at Taya, it seems like Tameka got it going on to me. No disrespect but thanks for proving my point that dark skinned sistas are always accussed of being jealous of light skinned sistas, when it's really the other way around ( more often than not). I deal with it often that's how I know.

Taylor-Sara said...

Taya, why are you calling her names? And how do you know he 'snuck' and paid this woman's bills? How far up in this woman's business were you?
It sounds to me like you have a bit of a mean streak, and I think the doctor had probably seen your type before... find someone else and stop acting like a man is supposed to fall all over you because you are attractive. Real beauty is internal...

jazine said...

Great post, Sara, but I'm afraid (and I was proved right) that this discussion turned into dark-skinned bw and light-skinned bw battling each other. They're both black women and white society sees BOTH groups as black. Don't let a few trolls (Taya, get over colorstruck self) sway the discussion, which is, that wm are far more open to skin shades from various type of women than bm.

I would be very cautious for some bw to start a discussion of what shade wm REALLY prefer. How would you explain a lot of wm's undeniable attraction to east Asian women? I have plenty of Korean, Chinese, and Japanese friends who have to beat white guys off with a stick.

Men are always going to attracted to women in general and there will always be preferences.

ValeriesWorld said...

Sara, I love your blog, I encourage my daughter to read it. Well done and thank you for speaking the truth, even me, my own father told my friend, who is French-Moroccan, that I am too dark for for many black men and I will have difficulty getting married. After she left, my father and I had an almighty row. I told him, I will get a man worthy of me, and if it is not a black man, there are many many men who would be pleased to have me as their wife, continue to preach the word and once again thank you

CW said...

I bet cocoa crispy is a happily-LOVED woman right now...No time for haters!

And I would encourage Black women to take a look at all available photos from IR blogs...Continue the exercise...What chance would each of them have finding love by limiting their options?

Selena said...

Sounds like someone's trying to start some mess between black women. I wouldn't believe anything this "woman" writes!

Taylor-Sara said...

Ladies, let me say up front. This is NOT a discussion geared to pit dark against light or any such thing. And no posts attempting to 'start anything' will be posted. I would not presume to know what shade wm prefer, and I don't think it's relevant. What is relevant is that wm (who are open to IR) are NOT discriminating against non-white women based on skin shade. That is the ONLY point of this discussion, and the only thing that I think really matters...

Aphrodite said...

"Exactly Aphrodite. How ignorant is that for him to be asking her those questions. "



Not only that, but after the dates Donna calls the women and asks them for a report. Then she has a sit down with the men.


The woman told her he was creepy and she didn't want to go out with him again. He eventually started telling her on their date that she was so beautiful about 50 times after she satisfied his inquisition about her parts.


When they had the sit down with Donna one of her WM millionaires that she had set up on a different date was there and even he had to chime in and tell the guy that what he did was overkill and inappropriate. Like duh...




Taya, if you are a BW and not a troll then you have a serious case of sour grapes and need to do some soul searching. Why all the hate? I am sure there is more than one good WM to go around. Gosh.

I hope he and Tameka marry. He sounds like an awesome guy and he has really shown her that he is a protector/provider and that he has her well being and best interests at heart. This should be an inspiration.





Valerie, don't believe the hype. You will marry a quality man and that is the end of the story.






I will say that if anything the fact the BM discriminate against BW when choosing mates should make BW cross them off the lists.


And I hate how the anons have totally gotten it twisted and think that because one man Obama chose a dark woman, ok two, Denzel, that means that now all BM are going to follow suit.



I have always though this was funny. Especially when someone would say well have you been with all BM?


It is hysterical because the fact that you have to hunt and dig for a handful of measly examples to the contrary show how bad it is. No one has to be with all BM to see how bad it is when so many BW who deal exclusively with BM across the US are having the same set of issues.

chimeziem said...

this is a good post sara=o) it took me a while to realize how wm view bw. honestly, i never even noticed the color issue in the bc because i'm nigerian, and in my family it was never an issue. i never had someone step up to me and say that i was pretty for a dark-skinned girl, and thank goodness for that; i had enough self-esteem issues without someone making me feel bad for the color of my skin. anyway, i'm loving myself a lot more these days, and actually noticing the attraction. wm are very RESPECTFUL towards me and appreciate my beauty, either by words or actions, and i just feel such good vibes when i walk past them rather than a group of bm who are judging me by the size of my a$s and the shade of my skin (at my school anyway).

honestly, the key to having anyone find you attractive is for you to find YOURSELF attractive. if you don't love/like yourself, then how can anyone else? walk with confidence ladies and start from the inside to make yourself beautiful, give your soul and spirit lots of love! if you're good inside you will always shine with that light=o)

Taylor-Sara said...

Andrew I am NOT reading anything you and your ignorant ilk say so whatever.... But just know that I am sending a copy to the appropriate ppl in order to take action against you.....

pikacute said...

I don't get this whole lighht vs. dark thing aren't we all considered "black" anyways? I do think many BM have a light skinned preference. I don't mind anybody having a preference until it gets to the point you have to berate dark skinned women to prove your preference. I have a prerfernce in lighter skinned males (asian, whote, and etc., but I don't berate BM to justify this choice. That's just what I'm attracted to. I don't meet many black women who berate BM to justify their chocices in choosing nonBM. I sometimes wonder if all these BM truley find love when dating a WW? My WW friends wouldn't even think about dating a BM for long term, short term,or marriage because they don't won't a man just wanting them for their white skin.
About the "plain" dark women in the pictures. I personally don't like to comment on people's looks because beauty is in the eye of the beholder.They're husbands might think they're the most beautiful women in the world, and thats all that matters.I also don't think white men are stuck on colorism either. Most WM I know can't really get the difference between light or dark. Some WM just might like the pretty contrast of a dark woman on his white skin? I can't speak for WM only myslef but that was just my thought

Anonymous said...

@ Tonia...the date/marriage tide is slowly changing in favor of darker bw and I do not see a problem with that because for decades many men were wanted to date/marry a light bring almost white woman. Do not feel sorry for yourself because there are wm who would rather a lighter bw.

Be supportive and allow your two girlfriends to enjoy some of the attention.

a.f.

Cheddars said...

Sophisticatedblkwoman said...
“I hate to sound small, but even the good ones have a mentality that I could never settle.”

I completely cosign that statement Sophisticateblkwoman. I don’t think that it’s a small statement at all. I think it’s observant. The heartbreaking truth is that most men in the BC (notice I did not say some or a few) have these types of issues clouding their judgment when it comes to women. I have met some very nice BM who are, in my observation, damaged goods for BW due to some of these issues. I honestly don’t see them shaking this stuff off regardless of how “good” they are or are perceived to be. Are some of these attitudes due to the denigration that blacks in this country in general have experienced? Sure, and I wouldn’t negate that. However, the BC in this country has a very unhealthful way of wallowing in the character flaws manifested from that history to the point of glorifying some of them. I have found this to be particularly true regarding BM. The whole light and bright is right issue in the BC rarely goes challenged anymore. Even when it is challenged, it’s typically done so by individuals, not by the community as a whole. I think the larger part of the problem with BM in the BC is that they get a pass on many of their character flaws from the BC. They don’t get called on their crap, and a good portion of it is laid at the feet of BW. This doesn’t create a lot of incentive for them to change their ways of thinking and behaving.

In all honesty, I think that BW & BM in this country need to get away from one another. We really don’t seem to bring out the best in one another. I’m sure there are exceptions to that rule. However, those exceptions are too few and far between, and waiting for one of them to happen does not work to the best interest of BW. The statistics bear witness to that fact. As BW, we need to move on with our lives and take the example of women who have already done so. BW, stop towing the party line! Don’t put yourselves down for stating something that’s right in front of your faces. You’re not being small, petty, crazy or any other demeaning term for noticing something that’s happening right in front of you. You are even less close to crazy when you dare to call it out for what it is.

T. Alexandria said...

More than once when I've dated non-bm, whether they were latino, ashkenazi-jews, asian, arab, or whatever, they have always complimented me by specifically commenting on my blackness. I used to think that these guys only dated me because I am mixed as well (and I have heard my fair share of, "Oh, mixed people are always the prettiest" and "Well, you're not all the way black, so it's okay", which always hurt to hear, especially since to most people in America who haven't seen my combo before, they wouldn't assume right away that I'm something else. I always felt like people who said things like that were giving me permission to be black as if I needed it), but it was quite a shock to discover that what they liked about me physically was mainly my black features.

I have heard comments from, "Baby, you look soooo African today", "I love your shade!" (always hear that from lighter men, have yet to hear it from a black man), "You're so pretty, 100% African", "Your lips are so BIG!" (something white girls constantly made fun of me for as a kid), "I see you've got that Brazilian skin tone. You're so nice and brown"(and he meant DARK brown, as I had just returned from sunny Brasil in all my chocolate glory, lol), etc. That last comment was actually from a white skinned biracial man that I went on a blind date with.

I was pretty offended when I heard those comments initially because I told myself, "I don't want to be anyone's fetish, no matter what kind it is!" After I started noticing that every single non-bm I've dated went out of his way to genuinely tell me how gorgeous they thought I was, I began to consider the fact that they really did find me attractive, and I wasn't pretty in spite of my phenotype. It's still taking me some time to fully realize that I'd been hoodwinked as a child, a teenager, and now as a young woman into believing that my blackness made me less attractive. To be quite honest, I've been more attracted to wm since I was in kindergarten (I always paired my bw barbies with white ken), and I figured if bm couldn't find me attractive, I'd have no chance at all with a wm, even though wm have been the ones who have pursued me the most (it takes work to combat the mind games media plays with bw & our beauty). I'm so glad now that as an adult I'm able to hear and see the truth that I'm not "dark but lovely; I'm dark AND lovely"! Being a black woman doesn't mean I'm someone's 2nd, 3rd, or 4th choice, rather I'm 1st!

Black Girl said...

Hello!!!

I used to be one of those Black girls who took pride in the fact that she never dated a White man before and never will.

Until I went to college.
I have never felt so ugly in my life.
That is, before I began my own journey in interracial dating...

Therefore, I just want to say that I admire your blog as well as you- unafraid to say the truth even though so many people do not want to hear it.

Your blog was one of the many things that made me change my views about interracial dating. I am now a strong believer!

I got yo back, girl!!! As a dark-skinned black woman, thanks for having mine!!!

Velvet Queen said...

Wow, this was a very refreshing post, and the comments are rather intriguing.

I'd like to add something if I may...

Apparently there seems to be a little suggestion that white men discriminate when it comes to black women (in favor of dark skin). I knew this was going to get addressed sooner or later. I could feel it coming!!! I've heard a few gorgeous light skinned women of Afromerican (I like to use that term) descent complaining about white men always asking them questions about their gorgeous dark skinned cousins, friends etc but rarely ever giving them in particular the time of day even though they have made their interest in them known.

Um, first of all...men are men and when it comes to women there just certain types that might make them go goo-goo-ga-ga more than others (I'm speaking of physical appearances not character. Character is the ultimate decider). It really depends on the woman and it also depends on the man. I personally don't think white men are purposely discriminating. Those who solely “want to marry” a black woman sometimes already have their OWN general idea of what she'll look like! (Ha ha!). Thus they set their goals toward getting that type of woman. However, there are an innumerable amount of non-black/white men who just really don't care. They just want a woman who they can love on and receive love from in return. So for all you light skinned sisters, don't get frustrated. There are plenty white men/non-black men who would LOVE to have you!!!


Now, concerning the post...

Honestly, even though I'm dark skinned (pretty up there in the brown)...I've been told by both white and black men how “Beautiful” they think I am. As far as the “ghetto” black men are concerned...it was pretty much about my long, curly hair and “exotic” features that you usually don't see on Afromerican women. I've yet to hear one mention my skin tone. Whereas with white guys...as far as physical features is concerned they would comment on just about everything from my eyes, hair, lips...whatever but when it came to my skin tone a lot of them had the most beautiful comments like, “Wow...you're skin tone is so beautiful...I'm speechless.” That particular guy really looked like he was speechless LOL!!!!

cool_splash1 said...

I am sorry that BW have had to endure so much. I have never had the pretty for a dark girl comment, but I have the is there something else in your family, are those your eyes, is that your hair comments.

Or that What you Got Up in You.lol

cool_splash1 said...

I'm sorry, but Taya maybe he didn't choose you because you are the one whose ugly and not in the looks department, but the spiritual. Maybe you are fine as hell up to the 9s but guess what? And ugly attitude, spirit, aura seeps off people. I mean seriously you are pretty because of your lightness. Please.

And honey did you ever think maybe he just didn't want you? The Rules honey the Rules you might want to read them.

Anonymous said...

White women are even noticing this as well and some ain't having it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q47IGfhCnoc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j-M5gjWRC9E

Jess said...

OMG! BlackGirl is so beautiful. I can't believe she ever thought she was ugly.

Anonymous said...

FINALLY! The the truth about BM and their BF-destroying crap is being spoken! No lame excuses, no lame comments about how "There are a lot of good bruthas who love BF" (LIE!), just the plain ol' TRUTH.

YES, MOST BM DO prefer White females/non-Black females/lighter-skinned* Black females, NO they do NOT try to hide this fact, and NO they do not give a damn how much that has and continues to hurt Black females, PERIOD!

YES, MANY WM who are open to dating BF do NOT discriminate against darker BF, and a A LOT of them PREFER darker BF, PERIOD!

These are the FACTS, whether you like them or not!

Cheddars, please! You comment is one of the few here that made me groan! Do not give me that junk about "BP in America need to stay away from each other", because for DECADES the BF has stood by the BM STEADFASTLY, never wavering, enduring all kinds of suffering, ingratitude and mistreatment, while the BM secretly lusted after White and Puerto Rican/Hispanic females, and not so secretly DATED/MARRIED White and Puerto Rican females right in BF's faces, not giving a damn how much that hurt! THEY, ("They" meaning BM) started this mess, NOT BF, PERIOD!


*Earlier, I stated that BM prefer lighter-skinned Black females, but that phenomenon is quickly becoming non-existant, if it is not already because now that BM can have their precious White, Puerto Rican/Hispanic, and whoever else they can find non-Black females, they are leaving light-skinned Black females behind. What a bunch of RATS!

Thank you Taylor-Sara for speaking THE TRUTH about how BF are done dirty by these lousy rotten BM!

Delishmish said...

Sounds like someone's trying to start some mess between black women. I wouldn't believe anything this "woman" writes!

.....

Yes Selena..

you called it exactly! AND I have not failed to notice the use of the name "Tameka."

Of course the story of Taya sounds fake and ludicrous...but IF it is actually a true story..Dr man is pretty darn smart to avoid YOU Taya!

I don't think I have to say one more word!

Shout out to Cheddars...Hiiiiiii

Eric said...

i love all bw. the shade doesn't matter at all. if it did, i wouldn't like bw. hell, they're all darker than i am!

Clarice said...

Could it be this man liked what and who he saw - made his choice and from then on everything else ceased to matter. Sounds like he fell for the woman within in addition to the person on the outside. An attractive inside i.e. character, personality can and does trump even the best exterior beauty. How a person feels when they are around a person of interest matters more than the externals. Sounds like if you had respected yourself enough to respect his choice, once he made it even if you did not agree or understand - rather than being consumed with bitterness it might have been better. Clearly GF knew she had nothing to prove to herself him or to him and just went on with her life and that is what attracted him. Character and personality-femininity, gracious of spirit to self and others, dignity and respect, trump color, race, situation, circumstance and creed - external beauty fades, scalpel notwithstanding - but inner beauty lasts a life time. Taya your inner 'beauty' is showing and it speaks volumes.

Excellent Post as always Sara

V/r

Clarice

Anonymous said...

Hey I know many girls who are professionals and elegant that have names like Tameka, Tanisha etc. Frankly I love African names, African American names that we invent shows our resourcefullness and creativity.(not all some are just out there like a half sebation baby, and I've found some just as bad made up by white women and men and rich ones at that.lol) But if Taya is her reel name then how is she not ghetto, because she obivously feels that Tameka is? (not to everybody here these questions are to Taya)This Tameka is dark skinned with a so-called ghetto name and Taya is light-skinned with a so called ghetoo name, so Taya what's the difference? You also need to read He's Just Not That Into You. There's even a movie coming on based on the book

Delishmish said...

Hey I know many girls who are professionals and elegant that have names like Tameka, Tanisha etc. Frankly I love African names, African American names that we invent shows our resourcefullness and creativity.(not all some are just out there like a half sebation baby, and I've found some just as bad made up by white women and men and rich ones at that.lol)
.................

Actually I was more referring to the treatment that Tameka (Ushers wife) has recieved, not her name, or its origins. I believe this Taya person is using the name Tameka (as a noun) in a way to describe ANY dark skinned BW having the nerve to think she is worthy. That is the connotation I was attempting to make. I guess it was not clear.

BUT...since you brought it up...I dislike ENORMOUSLY those kind of names like Shaniqua, Shewanda...that is MY OPINION. No one has to agree. I see nothing resourceful or creative about names like this...further, I suggest heartily that any woman given such a poor name rush out and have their name legally changed for a small fee.
Few will take you seriously when you have a name like that. I always allow a small possibility that I can be wrong, and I use the name Condoleeza to make that point. Now that is certainly a unique name, and it did not stop her from achieving many fantastic goals....but to date, she is the only one I know with that name. I do not see many rushing to name children Condoleeza...but I see many named Shaniqua, Shewanda..etc

Anyway..no one has to agree. I am always ok about being solo on a position I believe in.

btw...what is a "half sebation" baby? Please Please tell me you don't mean caucasian....there is just no excuse for this kind of spelling.

REALLY!

Moreover it goes without saying that many people choose names that others consider strange as you point out. That is not in dispute. This is a forum for BW who embrace ALL the choices at hand, so rightly we focus on BW who embrace ALL the choices at hand.

Personally I favor unusual names outside of the Western norm. The types of names I mentioned above do not qualify (to me) as unusual names IMO. To me, it is more a form of abuse. Almost like one is setting the child up for failure in naming them one of these names.

Sara...very insightful post.

These color issues are so insane. I have always strived to find ways to describe people by using ALL of their attributes...least of which is their skin tone...and that goes for all people.

And as I mentioned before, either here or on Evia's blog..Many WM (as an example) would probably NOT make a huge distinction between Vanessa Williams and Vanessa Williams..but a DBR BM would.
I practically guarantee it.

Anonymous said...

He was perfect for me, and this fugly, cocoa crispy woman stole him! He discriminated against me because I'm light-does that sound fair to you?

That is why that cocoa crispy one has the man you want and you are on a blog trying to find a man! LOL!!

Phantom Mare said...

Delish said...
BUT...since you brought it up...I dislike ENORMOUSLY those kind of names like Shaniqua, Shewanda...that is MY OPINION. No one has to agree.
* * *

Oooh I don't like it either. Then when your child is asked to stand up in class and they are asked the ethnic origin of their name, they will say....My momma made it up. Names without substance. Names that have no meaning to them nor any remote ancient connections to cultures. i.e. Yoruba, Chinese Gaelic, Hebrew..so on and so forth.

______________

BTW I did kind of figure the this was going to be light vs. dark. It has been stated many times before that WM see black as black it is just that they do not have the colorism problem that BM have and are comfortable with darker shades--as well as lighter shades.

Anonymous said...

I'm a chocolate sista and I am engaged to a white man. Maybe white men feel that a lightskin women has an easier chance finding a mate and therefore won't be as receptive a a darkskin sister, I don't know...

Sophisticatedblkwoman said...

"Hey I know many girls who are professionals and elegant that have names like Tameka, Tanisha etc. Frankly I love African names, African American names that we invent shows our resourcefullness and creativity.(not all some are just out there like a half sebation baby, and I've found some just as bad made up by white women and men and rich ones at that.lol)"


I agree, even though this has nothing to do with the post, I love my unique name and most of my friends and siblings have unique names as well. Everyone I know attends school and my cousin will soon have a Master's degree. I wouldn't feel sorry for anyone who tried to challenge me or my friends or cousin's intelligent, because when we're done with them they will definitely turn ant. I think it is very hypocritical and contradicting to like foreign names that are extremely hard to pronounce, yet beautiful vs black Americans,like myself, with unique names, which in most cases are easily pronounced. I would advise sistas to love their unique names with the same pride as other cultures do. I know I do.

Anonymous said...

@ anon. 1:08...her video was making sense until she said something to the effect of most articulate bw are mix.
Who is she hanging out with?

Cheddars said...

Hey, Delish! Shouting back at you, lady!

Sara, thanks again for your insightful and thought provoking blog. I have a few IR blogs bookmarked, but this one has been one of my top faves for a while now. Also, thanks for all the business/money making advice that you've given in previous posts. I see that you now have a separate blog just for that. Cudos to you. I may end up using one of your ideas. I'll let you know how that works out.

Delishmish said...

I'm a chocolate sista and I am engaged to a white man. Maybe white men feel that a lightskin women has an easier chance finding a mate and therefore won't be as receptive as a darkskin sister, I don't know...

.................

SAY WHAT?????

Or MAYBE JUST MAYBE they fell in love??? No man marries someone out of SYMPATHY...why on earth would you set yourself up like that? You better hope your guy does not read THAT statement.

Come on Chica..where is your dignity as a beautiful CONFIDENT black woman?....and I CHALLENGE ANY SANE PERSON to show me a man who marries a "chocolate sister" MERELY because our lighter complected sister has a supposedly easier time finding a mate. A man will marry for MANY DIFFERENT REASONS...sympathy is NOT one of them.

and could women please stop referring to themselves as desserts....this obsession with skin color has got to stop.

aaaarrrrggggghhhhhhh!!!!!!!!

This is just ludicrous dead end thinking.

sigh!

btw...sophisticatedblackwoman...(hi :-))...I know what I said was probably about 50 percent UN popular..lol..but I stand by my statement. I also respect yours as a regular commenter...and I always leave room for backing down (on my part)because if I find I am wrong on an issue, I want to correct it. Hence I always leave an opening...still though, I really hope your real life name is not one of the two I mentioned...yikes ....

Taylor-Sara said...

I would concur with that delish, I don't know what she could have been thinking saying there is more competition for light women! Sounds like she needs to work on her self esteem. Top women are ALWAYS in demand, regardless of color!

Anonymous said...

"and could women please stop referring to themselves as desserts...."

you think that women referring to their dark skin as "chocolate" is degrading or something??

Taylor-Sara said...

Anon, thanks for the note....

Sophisticatedblkwoman said...

Hey Delishmish, none of the names mentioned I have and no offense was taken :) I think it is perfectly healthy to agree to disagree.


"SAY WHAT?????

Or MAYBE JUST MAYBE they fell in love??? No man marries someone out of SYMPATHY...why on earth would you set yourself up like that? You better hope your guy does not read THAT statement."


I agree, I hope this isn't the case and if so that sista is mighty humble to accept it.

Delishmish said...

I said earlier:

and could women please stop referring to themselves as desserts....

and Anonymous said:

you think that women referring to their dark skin as "chocolate" is degrading or something??

..........


Now don't attribute words to me that I have not used. I am merely looking at the larger picture...the obsession with skin color (or having someone else picture it via an image)

I don't refer to myself (or others) as a Vanilla sister or a chocolate sister..to ME it is weird...that is MY OPINION. I don't care what you think. Once again, I PREFER to describe people by using the full realm of the many words available to me in the English (and other) languages.

I don't reduce people down to a dessert....nor do I care greatly that your opinion may differ from mine...and in sum...once again, you used the word degrading...not I...I prefer to think of it as weird (and color fixated to a degree.)

cool_splash1 said...

Seriously this chick needs to read the Rules if anything else. The point of the book (and honey the old folx used to say this too)that men don't like to be pursued they like to do the pursuing and it sounds like that's what you were doing. It sounds like you all were pursuing this man like a man and he went after a woman who was beautiful on the outside and the in vs. women who are beautiful on the outside, but ugly as hell on the indside. And since all of you who were light the aw, hw, etc. that you mentioned how come he didn't go after you since becase you are oh so beautiful for because of your lightness? Answer Because He Just Wasn't that Into You please read these two books. It would seriously help you a whole lot.

pikacute said...

Just when I thought I could say I've never had "you're pretty for a BW" comments..... At my school I was sitting next to a BM who I obviously knew liked me (I have no intrest in him. We were talking then all of sudden he told that I have "N*gger hair"! WTH does that mean. Is my hair bad or something? I don't think so. He talked about how everyone in his family has "good hair" , and how wonderful his hair is. I bet he had a bunch of Mammies with him while he was a young child. I don't get how he could say that with no mind! I'm tired of being surronded by colorist BM

Cheddars said...

Anonymous said:
“Cheddars, please! You comment is one of the few here that made me groan! Do not give me that junk about "BP in America need to stay away from each other", because for DECADES the BF has stood by the BM STEADFASTLY, never wavering, enduring all kinds of suffering, ingratitude and mistreatment, while the BM secretly lusted after White and Puerto Rican/Hispanic females, and not so secretly DATED/MARRIED White and Puerto Rican females right in BF's faces, not giving a damn how much that hurt! THEY, ("They" meaning BM) started this mess, NOT BF, PERIOD!”
___________________________
Typically, I choose not to respond to anonymous posters, particularly when they resort to what appears to be yelling (all caps + exclamation point) and/or being generally disrespectful of the opinions of others. However, since it seems that you have not understood what I meant by my post, I feel somewhat obligated to clarify.

When I state my belief that BM and BW need to stay away from one another, it has nothing to do with placing blame upon BW. When I see a woman in an abusive relationship, it does not mean that I think that woman is bringing the abuse upon herself. It is not my desire to blame the victim. However, that does not change the fact that the victim needs to get out of that abusive situation in order to get well for her own sake and move on with her life. BM and BW in the BC are in a cycle of abusive relationships. When a woman stands by her man in the face of “suffering, ingratitude and mistreatment,” that is abuse. Is it not? It doesn’t matter when it started, why it started, or even how long it’s been going on. Abuse is still abuse, and while again the abusive nature of the person doing the abusing is not the fault of the one being abused, it is no less necessary for the person being abused to get out of that cycle. This is a cycle that is entrenched in the BC. The whole light skin vs. dark skin issue is just one aspect of that cycle. If you’ve ever read any of the posts on Evia’s blog, she encourages BW to get away from what she calls “black enclaves” – largely black communities which tend to be rife with this kind of abusive behavior toward BW. Her encouragement in this direction is well founded and is based in the fact that this is community wide dysfunction that is occurring. I am very much in agreement with that view.

So, when I say that BW and BM need to get away from one another, I am essentially saying that BW need to let go of the notion of standing by BM specifically, and the BC in general in order to obtain better lives for themselves. Staying in the cycle of abuse is good for neither the abuse victim nor the abuser. It diminishes the spirit of both. Does that mean that the abuser won’t find someone else to use as a punching bag if his current victim leaves? No. However, that punching bag does not have to be a BW standing around allowing herself to be disrespected.

This all boils down, of course, to something that is my own opinion. However, I am entitled to that opinion, just as you are entitled to yours. I do feel that if someone is going to have an opinion about what I’ve stated, that opinion should be informed and based on what I’ve actually said and not what someone thinks that I’ve said. That being stated, I don’t plan on having long drawn out debate about this. I just thought that clarification was in order. Feel free to continue to disagree with me if that is your wish.

Taylor-Sara said...

ok, I can see I will have to be more liberal with the delete button, as some ppl are determined to 'start something' and as usual they are posting under Anon.....
If anyone has a smart remark to make to another reader, please keep it to yourself, or take it elsewhere....

Anonymous said...

You are right, Sara. Those anon. people are getting way too much air time. Thos anon. people are simply too lazy to even post a name. Maybe you should go to a sign in post. I would just have to learn to remember my login name.

ann

Anonymous said...

Hi, again. this is revised version of a comment I posted in the entry about how the media up plays ww/bm relationships and downplays bw/wm relationships. Just wanted you ladies to see it, too, cause I really want to put this out there...

It's actually sort of a myth that, at least in the Antebellum South, slave men were frequently executed because of accusations of rape by white women. The conviction of rape (which was the only way a slave could even face the threat of execution) by a slave really only caused tremors if the white woman (or girl) involved was wealthy or least not poor. You see, social-economic status has always been prone to overrule all other considerations in this country. In fact, many slave masters would strike deals to get slave men accused of rape out of trouble. Poor white women, and to some extent, girls, were not seen as being "pure" and when they accused any man or boy of rape they were often not believed and faced very difficult cross examinations in the court room, if it went that far. I think girls could have it easier if their extreme youth was taken into account. Women simply did not have that kind of power necessary to be that destructive back in these days. There's been a book written on the subject called "Rape and Race in the 19th Century South." I'm not sure how black on white rape was actually perceived after antebellum era, though. Maybe closer to the stereotype? Also, sexual relations between white men and black women could be argued to be the greater of two taboos, considering the history of such. It's just that black women have always been stereotyped as amorous Jezebels who welcome all types of sexual encounters (even from a young age and I mean childhood, here!). This image of black women was used to belie the fact that black women (and even girls) could actually be raped, much in the same way that the image of black women as "mammy" was used to belie the fact that white men can consider black women sexually attractive. Of course both propaganda images are false and exist in large (majority?) part to serve the purposes I just listed. Black women were considered at the very bottom (and I mean dead last) ring of society, while white men were at the top. For them to "mix" has long been seen as unthinkable. Indeed, all the anti-miscegenation laws were put into place to control/ limit (it couldn't be destroyed) sexual relations between white men and black women, not the other way around. The taboo of black men having relations with white women is merely a proxy or by product of the animosity toward relations between black women and white men. Why? Because at the end of the day, black men are still men, and therein, their place is, unfortunately, higher in our society and they have always been able to do, in comparison to black women, whatever the fvck they want, whenever the fvck they want. Just look at how America's deep rooted misogyny reared its ugly head when Obama was facing Hillary Clinton... Also, think about this: what better way to continue the lie that white women are the epitome of beauty and femininity than to acknowledge, promote, and, to some degree, condone sexual relations between white women and black men? Take away this, though: social-economic status and gender are always the deciding factors when questions of worth, desirability, and due earnings arise. Race is, of course very much in the mix, but not as much as one might think.—at least when it comes to men.

Anonymous said...

Cheddars, you seem overly concerned with the feelings of BM predators. I am not surprised. I have nothing more to say to you.

Taylor-Sara, I was not trying to "Start something", I am just sick and tired of people blaming BF for everything and letting BM of the hook.

Strange that I attract all of this venom and smart-alekery on a BF empowerment blog when all I did was defend Black women.

Anonymous said...

I love our names! The Shaniquas, Tamekas, Shaquandas, etc are very cute and unique! They are our own style, something we Black women came up with all by ourselves! I also think French names go very nice on we Black women, ie, Denise, Michele, Monique, Paulette, etc.

Taylor-Sara said...

Anon. 3:02

My remarks were not directed at you. They were directed at the Anons I keep deleting because they are intended to start arguments....

Taylor-Sara said...

Wow, pika, I would have gotten up and walked away from his ignorant ass! I don't know why I am surprised. These ignorant fools have taken up where the kkk left off. All hair is good hair! Ask someone who has none... I almost feel sorry for these fools. They're so lost and self-hating! It must be a terrible way to live. I remember when my family lived in Hawaii as a child. I went to a middle school called Kaluah Intermediate. There was a boy in my class named Andre. He was hapa-papolo that means half black in Hawaian. (His mother was Hawaian) He hated the fact that his father was black so badly that he practically tortured the black girls in class. Especially me since I was dark brown. He would constantly tell the white,asian and Hawaian girls how lovely they were and how they were so lucky not to be an ugly black color. (while smiling and looking at us bg's. He used to pull the one girl's hair and call it n*gger naps, and he would trip us, and he was horrible, and evil. Things finally came to a head when a new boy who was hapa-somoan came to our class.His name was loafie, (strange I can still remember all this) He was crazy about black girls and thought we were beautiful. He esp. liked this one girl (can't remember her name) but when Andre called her a jungle bunny, I remember how badly loafie beat him down! He was out a week recovering, and he never made a snide, or nasty remark to any of us again.....

sky said...

ha at sara's story... and guess what sara that's exactly what's happening to these dbrbm. wm/non-black men are coming out of the woodworks about this nonsense.such as these guys...


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R8HNdPb7Qww


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4W01gXwTb6E&feature=related


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7BesXKiLro

Delishmish said...

Anon said:

I love our names! The Shaniquas, Tamekas, Shaquandas, etc are very cute and unique! They are our own style, something we Black women came up with all by ourselves!
.........

Well how simply delightful for you Dearie...in fact why not just combine all three and embrace the name ShaniTamQuanda...go on...go out there in the world with that "cute" and er "unique" name.

Good Luck to yer!!!!!

Selena said...

...They are our own style, something we Black women came up with all by ourselves!


Who is the "WE"? Speak for yourself!

Taylor-Sara said...

ok, this not about names, lets move on......

Alta said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Sandra77 said...

Sara, moderating your blog is hard work! The vast majority of your commenters add something substantive to the discussions, but with some others it's like you're having to control BeBe's Kidz!

Seriously, thank you for discussing this subject matter. Like Eric said above, all black women are darker than he is, so he doesn't bother to distinguish between lighter BW and darker BW. Evia mentioned that she had difficulty distinguishing when whites talked about whites who have olive complexions. I remember being surprised the first time I went to a make-up counter in a department store and saw the many different colored foundations for white women - I thought white people were all just one shade of white and all used the same foundation - it never occured to me that there were 10 or 12 different shades of white! Most whites probably view the light-skinned/dark-skinned distinctions that BP make the same way.

Anonymous said...

And why you cannot use him as a good sample of a Reg. bm?
Because OBAMA WAS RAISED BY HIS WHITE FAMILY MEMBERS!!! His father deserted him as a child (no surprise there) and he was raised by his mother and her parents. What kind of man do you think he would be if he had been raised by typical BP? I think we can all guess... I don't think he would have looked twice at Michele if he had been raised by these damaged fools in the typical bc.


I agree Sara. There seems to be 3 major categories of black boys who usually will grow up to marry white women:


1) Black boys raised by single black mothers

2) Black boys who grow up in predominately white areas surrounded by white women

3) Black boys who could not get the pretty black girls during their childhood, teenage and possibly college years

Black women can count those men out although I have not figured out the correlation between black men and having single black mothers...why they would not want to marry a black woman? Do you have any idea Sara?

Taylor-Sara said...

ok, ladies. Not to be a witch or anything, but if your comment is NOT concerning the discussion at hand, it will be deleted. We are not talking about deserts or names....

Anonymous said...

anon@1.57

the only reason i'm not so quick to put this one on black women, is that i believe this is a wound that's been festering for centuries. remember that AA's have always been extremely colorstruck. i think many black men have always had these black woman hating tendencies and would've acted on them ages ago had it been safe enough.

cool_splash1 said...

Black women can count those men out although I have not figured out the correlation between black men and having single black mothers...why they would not want to marry a black woman? Do you have any idea Sara?

This is the same case with men of all ethnicities. To them the women of their culture etc. are seen as being domineering when in fact these women are just trying to make it.

Meena said...

Well Sara, I certainly reserved my commentary on this post for a while. Mainly because every time I saw that first picture of the black man and the woman, it was as if it screamed arrogance. I know there may be great players in athletics who have good hearts and are non-colorist and non-anti-black woman. But, I am not addressing them. That image had a negative effect on me. One, the fact that many black dudes do this and the lighter/whiter women know they are blatantly objectified, yet still do tolerate it. To me this is a slap in the face to ALL women to go along with being treated as an object or arm-piece instead of a dignified human being. Self-esteem, in my opinion, is lacking from both parties when that's the situation. Two, it has become so vulgar to me, the way this constant image has become accepted. Women need to rise up and claim what they know they deserve. I tell you, we would not be having this discussion if ALL women sought to defend their rights as human beings; to be treated equally, irrespective of race, complexion, hair texture, hair length, body type, and so on.
So having said that, I can honestly say that if a "certain" group of men where to become non-existent due to their apparent propensity for killing themselves off, I would be just fine. I know I WILL LIVE WELL! And the rest of you ladies should too!

Anonymous said...

Speaking of colorist people...

Tonight, I visited with my Uncle (my decease father's brother) and he asked me did I want to see the family's tree he was working on and of course I said, yes. This was his second family tree. I saw my father's name printed and just above his name were his two sons by his first wife...I never knew my father was ever married...Family
secrets is guess?) His ex-wife was excluded because they were divoced.

My parents were not married. Although, sometime after my mother died my father did tell me that he had asked my mother to marry him. My father said, "My mom did not want marry him and leave her widowed my mother behind."
My mother was my grandmother's only child and they in addition to my two older brothers lived together. My dad was not a perfect individual; however, I know for a fact that he loved me and my sister.

Back to my Uncle- the first and the second family tree had my father's name printed on it and his two sons by his first wife. So, I finally got the nerve up and said to my Uncle, "Now, I have to put my foot down. What happened to my name, my sister's name and my son's name?" My Uncle paused and said, "Where they married?" I did not answer him...he already knew the answer. Also, my Uncle stated that my father's other daughter by another woman wasn't on the family tree either. Thinking to myself, what kind of excuse is that?
I said, "Uncle Andy you know your brother was my father." I also told him that I resembled my father more than one of his sons. That guy looks nothing like my dad. My dear Uncle wanted to know which one and then he says that he can only go by what was told to him. A couple of minutes later I said, "Well, Mr. Washington I have to go." Dear Uncle said something to the effect of, "Ok".

I did say my dad was not perfect?
But, at least he loved us.

My Uncle, Mr. Catholic how about writing the "real family tree?" My Uncle, Mr. Perfect had only one wife and one set of kids. Unfortunately, he does not have a great relationship with the four of them.

It is said, "One does not chose their family...only your friends."

When I was a kid, I used to wonder why I was never invited to any of their family functions. Most of my life I used to think that I was too dark for them. I think I am more of a medium brown tone.
My Uncle's kids who were older than I was and a few shades lighter and all with a finer texture of hair.
We all lived in New Orleans, home of the Creoles and the blah, blah, blah, a pile of crap I say...just another way of keeping people divided. Here I am an adult and I learned that my Uncle's cousin(Mrs. Lavavio(sp)) taught me in the third grade. When I was younger I thought
Mrs. Lavavio(sp) was a ww; however, she was always kind to me.

Ironically, as much as my Uncle really hurted my feelings...while driving across the river to visit with a more reasonable older female cousin, I began to feel a little relieved that my Uncle almost said what I have been feeling inside most of my life... my father's side of the family did not fully accept me. I lived in the bc and my childhood uaually left me feeling "dark" or "empty inside" and unloved. As I was driving, I began to feel a lightness. If anything maybe I am to good for them. My parents did the best they could and that is all any child could ask for. I am blessed because my parents, grandmother and my mother's side of the family wanted me.

My story is one reason why I agree with Sara and Evia...ladies please learn to vet ALL MEN, do this before you have your children.

a.

Anonymous said...

Off the subject for a second.
I just read that Don Cornelius,72 yrs. old was arrested for spousal abuse. All the years I used to watched him on Soul Train and never once did I know if he was "straight" or "gay". His wife is a ww...well now I know.

You ladies are right...some of these successful blk. men are simply losing their minds when it comes to other race women and these women know these men are stupid for them.

What bugs me the most is alot of these mature bm when I was in school was always proclaiming black pride- probably at the same time they were doing other race women behind close doors. I am so tired of the hypocrisy.

a.f.

Anonymous said...

I'm a lighter-skinned black woman, but there are many black women darker than myself who I think are more beautiful. I would gladly take darker skin if it came with a face like Alexandra Burke's, Mellody Hobson's, or Jessica White's. I am happy darker black women are finally getting the love and respect they deserve. I support all of my sisters, no matter the shade, because in the end, it uplifts us all.

Taylor-Sara said...

You are sooooo right Anon,
That is why I cannot figure out for the life of me why anyone would think I would EVER discriminate against lighter sistas! I want ALL black women to get the love, respect, and adoration they deserve.....

Anonymous said...

Sara, I am truly sorry. I thought those comments were directed at me, they were not, so I was wrong and for that I apologize. You are a great lady! Please up the fight for us!

Anonymous said...

Taylor Sara, that Black/Hawaiien fool boy hated being part Black, but yet the coward chose to bully and torture Black GIRLS instead of Black BOYS. What a weasily little coward, and that attitude is TYPICAL of half-Black boys/men who hate their Black sides. They ALWAYS take it out on Black girls/women, even when it is their Black FATHERS who made them Black. I am so sick of this and similar cowardly anti-Black Girl/woman mess from Black males and part-Black males! Sistas REALLY need to stop dating and sleeping with Black males, and part-Black males because they are nothing but GARBAGE!

And cool splash, that attitude is NOT typical with men of all ethnicities. If that was so, why is it only BLACK WOMEN who are 70% single? Why is it only BLACK WOMEN who have trouble getting Black men to date/marry them if they are especially dark and/or have strong Black freatures? White, Hispanic, Asian, etc women DO NO have a 70% single rate, and they DO NOT have trouble getting White, Hispanic, Asian, etc men to date/marry them if they have strong White/Hispanic/Asian features and/ or are very light-skinned, so please save the Black male protectionisim rhetoric.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mary said...

OMG, some of you ladies JUST DON'T WANT TO ACT RIGHT on here, do yall?? why is there so much bickering on this particular essay?? why??? i mean really, can yall provide yall's emails to each other so you can harass each other privately so that WE won't have to look at it.

Taylor-Sara said...

Exactly Mary, that is why she was deleted. I specifically said I would delete entries that did not pertain to the post, and I meant it! I coulld not beleive she had openly ignored me-and proceeded to try to fight with someone! IF anyone wants to harrass each other-you will NOT be using my blog to do it. Exchange emails and harrass each other till your hearts content, but I will not tolerate it here!

Anonymous said...

Who knows if that person was a female...trolls.

a.f.

cool_splash1 said...

@ anon. 1:08...her video was making sense until she said something to the effect of most articulate bw are mix.
Who is she hanging out with?

anon dec 8 9:26 I don't know how what she is saying doesn't make any sense. she is comparing media images about ethnic looking bw to light/mixed bw. Haven't you noticed this as well? The darkskinned ones are angry, drugged out, messed up mothers (L&A I mean seriously watch the darkskinned women that pop up on that show)loud mouth "N" please type of women and the light/mixed bw usually the intelligent, sweet, romantic love interest.

She was not saying that bw that are intelligent are only mixed women are light in real life. She is saying that if you go by media images even by bm (who are supposed to rep us)portray this ish.

I mean seriously she's talking about Norbit so that should have been a clue about the Eddie Murphy woman character and she duh isn't Thandie light/biracial. That's the point she is making.

cool_splash1 said...

This is the same case with men of all ethnicities. To them the women of their culture etc. are seen as being domineering when in fact these women are just trying to make it.

And cool splash, that attitude is NOT typical with men of all ethnicities. If that was so, why is it only BLACK WOMEN who are 70% single? Why is it only BLACK WOMEN who have trouble getting Black men to date/marry them if they are especially dark and/or have strong Black freatures? White, Hispanic, Asian, etc women DO NO have a 70% single rate, and they DO NOT have trouble getting White, Hispanic, Asian, etc men to date/marry them if they have strong White/Hispanic/Asian features and/ or are very light-skinned, so please save the Black male protectionisim rhetoric.


EXXXXUUUUSE MEEEE!! When did I use bm protectionism???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????? What I was saying DINGERERS (hey you remained Anonymous talking to me crazy) And duh all I was saying is that men all over the world have it just as bad as bm. Most of these men don't realize, because of their mothers being single that the women seem domineering when they really aren't they just have to be both mother and father, because duh daddy ain't there. But of course bm have to act as if they are the only ones going through this mess. Thing is most of these other cultures that have men act like this avoid there asses like the plague. And second DINGERS if you read any of my responses then you would know DINGERERS that I am not a bm protectionist.

cool_splash1 said...

sorry broke the rule, when I saw that anon directing that ish at me as a bm protectionist I got seriously pissed.

cool_splash1 said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jthAkrMmV-A

We are relate to this so much it's not even funny. Sad thing is Indians have had this for thousands of years. We have only been going through this for a few hundred or less and we are already nearly or at this level of colorism. Hell my mom told me she was taught not to drink coffee because coffee will make you black. And the kicker she was dark skinned too. So you know what folx were really saying was don't get no darker.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
dee said...

talk about contradiction...

Anonymous said...

lol...I have been reading you blog too long...I know your "voice."

Anonymous said...

LOL...more than half of America needs to lose weight, adjust the attitudes, you can keep the smart $ss bm, love you hmmmm it all depends on the individual; but, no one loves a bm more than himself.
Never tell a bw not worry about earning her degree.

Selena said...

You want to know the way to "win us back from the WW?"


Uh...nope!

Ain't interested.

Sorry wrong blog!!

Anonymous said...

I see that NOBODY has a problem with this "A Happy BM" coming on here insulting Black women, and that NOBODY is calling him a troll, but when I speak as what I am, a RELENTLESS supporter of my fellow Black sisters, I get called a "Troll".

That is just not right.

cool_splash1 said...

In summary, if your goal is to "Pay back the black men who have been dating WW" sorry, this is not the way to do it. You want to know the way to "win us back from the WW?" Lose the attitudes, lose some weight, be nice and pleasant, and improve your self-esteem. Also, make better choices in the men you choose and get involved with your communities instead of focusing on how much money you make and how many degrees you have. This will cause BM to marry BW in droves.


Oh brother another bm trying to tell black women that we have to do this in order to win them back. Please. Ladies becareful, because the wording from these dudes can be slick. Read between the lines of what is really being said.

Aphrodite said...

How in the world did that last BM anon's message to come through? It is nothing but spite and drivel.


"First, I support BW dating whoever makes them happy in life. Doesnt matter what color the guy is."



A lie disproved by everything that follows that statement.


Black man get your mind right. We are not talking about dating or shacking like so many of you like to do - we are discussing marriage.



"Second, it's unfortunate that most BW who date IR are doing so out of spite and desperation, and not love. We know BW LOVE BM, but because they can't find one who loves them back, they date others."


Unfortunate for whom? Certainly not the woman who is getting her needs met in a healthy stable relationship and once those needs are met by a loving attentive male - the desperation problem is solved.


I wouldn't be so sure and smug about BW "naturally" loving BM. It is common sense when there is no reciprocity - you go to where there is reciprocity. Only a narcissistic damaged BM could think and believe that is unfortunate or spiteful.




"Third, BW dating IR will not make BM love you more. It also won't make BM love you less. We are indifferent to it because we have been dating freely for decades."


The whole point of the blog is not BM or what they do - don't do/ feel or don't feel. BW can and do act independently of BM. That is the subject of the blog "BW". BW who want non black men. Read, understand, comprehend, and absorb.





"Fourth, when you date IR (or WM in particular), you are doing the entire black race a favor. Why? Because you are choosing the wealthiest WM you can find, and creating BLACK babies. This increases the intergenerational wealth for BLACK people which I am in favor of."



This is so sad. I don't know if I should even comment as I don't want to give you knowledge for free.


Believe in white supremacy much? Play the victim much ?


The fact that you would openly acknowledge that BM don't have the ability to protect, provide for, and elevate BW and children says so much. :) Thank you. I have no respect for you and men like you.



The wealth and status generated from these unions will never trickle down to the likes of you, your progeny, or even certain segments of the Black race in general.


If that is the case then the Black underclass would be shrinking instead of growing and vice versa for the Black middle class.


NEWSFLASH! Rule number one of the elites: to keep people like you out at all costs.


Truth be told while some IR people who are partially black may identify as such MOST especially when there are enough numbers of them to wield political, social, and economic power choose to separate.




"In summary, if your goal is to "Pay back the black men who have been dating WW" sorry, this is not the way to do it. You want to know the way to "win us back from the WW?" Lose the attitudes, lose some weight, be nice and pleasant, and improve your self-esteem."



People who are thick in the head should not own computers. BW are showing you with their actions that they are not interested in BM. It is not about paying them back – it is about BW gaining what they deserve - quality husbands.





“Also, make better choices in the men you choose”


We are. That is the entire purpose of this blog.




“and get involved with your communities instead of focusing on how much money you make and how many degrees you have.”


It is not a woman’s responsibility to uplift her community. Its’ a man’s and that I have to point that out to you, again is, um, well, typical, but sad.



“This will cause BM to marry BW in droves.”

I think BW have to want you first. Thanks for letting us know all the wonders we are missing from not wanting the po’ black man.

LeNoir Tyrannical said...

I think your blog (and this particular post) speaks with so must honesty because whether we disagree or not, the evidence is there! EVERYWHERE! its not just something someone made up. The bottom line is black women/gilrs need to stop letting bm and the media make them feel less than. Low self esteem is such a huuuge problem for us, especially as girls growiing up in predominanatly white enviornments. Lets end the stereotypes and reclaim our beauty and humanity form music videos and black men's dreams. in fact, when is the last time you saw a bw as the lead in one of these. BM (as a culture) are fasing us out and moving in new blood. Do we enter the barren wasteland of unhappiness and isolation or do we put on some mascara, walk out the door and FLIRT?!! AND PLAY HARD TO GET! AND LET A MAN (OF ANY RACE) PERSUE US! Yes we must and maybe when we have done this and reconciled with ourselves, we may just find our worthwhile man IS black )like i have recently been surprised to find). but it begins in us and in opening up to all things.


Praise the Lord!

Check out my site and post, Sara!

http://blackgirloncampus.blogspot.com/2008/12/interracial-love-sites.html

Anonymous said...

ladies, please stop talking about black men. the less you acknowledge them, the less we will have to read their crap about how to get a black man.

Taylor-Sara said...

Sorry yall
The bm fool slipped past me, and then I could not delete him(problems with this system which is about to be replaced)

First of all Mr BM
WE ARE NOT TRYING TO WIN YOUR SORRY ASSES BACK! THIS BLOG IS TO DIRECT BW TO BETTER CHOICES AND Never to look back at sorry ass pieces of feces dropped in the street! WW can have you, I for one hope yall NEVER return-I want better for bw than the likes of YOU and your ilk!
Get the hell off my blog, and go find some unfortunate blond to take care of you, because we're done carrying dead weight such as yourself! And tell your brothers the same....

Taylor-Sara said...

Anon
I most certainly do have a problem with it. I apologize I could not get my computer to delete it. My new computer should be here soon and we will not be bothered by such fools.
To the Anon. who implied I wrote that, (the happy BM) I most certainly did not, and would have deleted it much sooner, if I could have...

cool_splash1 said...

Frankly I think it's going to be a while until bw stop talking and focusing on bm. Since many are opening up to IR dating and also the stuff going on with bm many are going to have issues. The same issues many of us had when we first came to this blog. Many bw never realized how much bm hated bw and many have and have been hurt and are being hurt. Since some are young they are probably going on with this in the home and in their families because they either cannot escape yet or have left, but still have a strong connection to the indoctination they were forced to be a part of.

TheVoiceOfReason said...

Good Post! It makes alot of people think especially when you said what types of black women white men tend to marry.

Anonymous said...

You are distorting reality.

Fact is about 50% of black women are married by the time they are 30 years old.

The VAST majority of black women are brown or dark brown, the VAST majority marry black men.

So how can you ask the question when was the last time a black man married a dark skinned black woman?

The answer to that question is the DAY that you asked the question a black man IS marrying a dark skinned black woman.

To have a discussion about color struck black men, you don't have to LIE and imply that hardly any black men would marry a dark skin black woman, when it is FACTUALLY happening everyday of every year.

Also, the average black man finds black women more attractive than the average white man.

Again, you are letting your condemnation of color struck black men blind you to reality.

Black men are not by any means perfect, but it is NOT debateable that they find black women MORE attractive on average than they do "other" women.

Any stat you want to look at says that the majority of bm date and marry MOSTLY black women, and the VAST majority of black women are brown or dark skinned.
So in essence the MAJORITY of black men date or marry brown or dark skinned black women.
Please lets deal with REALITY.

Anonymous said...

Taya's "cocoa crispy" comment is hurtful. Women of all races can be so jealous and witchy!

I'm Asian and notice that some white and white-ish women (with white-ish features) disdain non-white women. Light-skinned black women and partly-white Asian women can be jealous witches if they consider themselves closer to the white beauty standard.

I'm glad that the white guy pursued the black woman (whose husband left her for a white woman). The white guy obviously knows how to seek out QUALITY inside and out. And men do like the chase. Beauty is really in the eye of the beholder. The other light-skinned black, Asian, Hispanic, and white women sounded like vampires.

Color shouldn't matter. The two lovebirds are together, and that's all that matters.

Anonymous said...

hi girls! all I can say is I'm so happy you are finding love in white men. I've always felt sorry seeing how beautiful dark skinned black ladies are treated by society. as a white lady married to an asian man, I'm kinda in the same boat as far as rare but growing couples. ;) I was in beauty school and saw a white man come in to get cornrows. almost every black girl in the school (about 90% of the school is black ladies) was peeking out of the doors to look over and talk about how cute he was. thats was the first time I though about black ladies liking white men, I just thought they didn't pair up becuase most white men are not built a big as most black men. I've know a few white guys who wanted black girlfriends but didn't want to get rejected (thinking what I thought), wish I knew that some black ladies do like white mne, would have told them.

sekhemetshathor said...

This is wonderful! I am grateful you posted this. I am bi-racial and I find it really difficult to find hair products for my curly hair and more over women who share the same view as I.

I belong to both races white and black. Recently I am learning more about my African roots as the times are revealing the truth, but I find my brothers and sisters trying to exclude me from many opportunities in the black community because of my white friends. You're considered a spy or not really black or a traitor .

The last few weeks have been so confusing I just said to myself no matter what happens I am not black or white I am bi-racial period :) Much respect to you . Oneness and blessings SH