Reading the signs to know if he's a keeper....

Some of this is a no-brainer ladies. And some of it is less obvious. For instance, if a man is hanging on the corner with his pants hanging off his butt, and drinking out of a paper bag, obviously this man is NOT husband material. Some of you bemoan the fact that you attract one loser after another but refuse to open your eyes and see the signs. Hopefully the man I just mentioned is young, and with time will pull up his pants and get his act together. But so many times I see women expecting a pauper to turn into a prince.

It simply will not happen. Psychologists say that by the age of 2 a boy's personality is already set. So obviously by the time he's old enough to date, he is what he is. Stop thinking that you can change him, you cannot. The only time men change is when they want to. By the time boys reach adolescence, they stop listening to the females in their environment, and begin to emulate the males around them. However misguided and damaged those males may be. This is why it is so imperative to live in good areas where your sons will have a minimal amount of exposure to the most vile and damaged men. This is also why a good strong father in that child's life is almost the very best gift you can give that child.

But back to the signs.... Many women feel that the ex-wife or gf of their man is instantly their enemy, or opponent. This is usually not the case. Unless she is catty, or malicious, an ex can be a font of great info and content regarding your intended. She can tell you what makes him tick, if he's commitment phobic, or has other issues, don't take her word as law, keep your eyes open and take everything into consideration. Here are some qualities you definitely want to look for if you are in the market for a husband
. Responsible, Amiable, Kind, considerate, honest, sincere, loving, romantic, common sense, gentle, well off, financially solvent, ambitious, generous, clean, sexy, Intelligent, attractive etc.

It's important to know what's most important to YOU. Write down the qualities that you know you must have and make your your man has them. Some women want a man who looks like Brad Pitt or Morris chestnut. For my taste, they're both beautiful, but that would be at the bottom of my list. I would be far more interested in his intelligence, and relatability. Before I married, I knew exactly what I wanted. You have to do the same thing. KNOW what you want. It's very hard to obtain a vague or undefined goal.

It's really easy to know exactly what's going on with a man. All you have to do is listen and watch. Men will give themselves away every time. They just don't have the sophistication to obscure their true intentions for long. Have a getting to know you period with any man you think would qualify as a potential mate. And for God's sake, do NOT sleep with him during this period. Men will pretend to be anyone they think you want to see, in order to bed a woman! Also, sex blurs a woman's defenses, as well as her vision. The man will start to immediately look alot better to her if she has slept with him. This is natures attempt to protect procreation. This is why the old timers used to say," you lay on your back, you lose your head." Be sweet as a Georgia peach, but keep that strong inner core, and watch him....

GETTING TO KNOW THE REAL 'HIM'
In order to really get to know the man you're interested in, you need to observe him in a variety of settings. How does he interact with his family, his friends, what is his stance on politics and other controversial subjects. Is he truly a 'good person' or just faking it to reel you in? Listening to his family is another great way to truly see the inner him. How is his temper? Is he ready to curse someone out for cutting him off, or is he more laid back and mellow. If a tempermental man is a turn off for you, then don't bother to continue dating a man who angers readily. Btw, that's a bad characteristic anyway, given a world in which ppl often antagonize each other on a daily basis. You really should seek a more even tempered man. A man who is NOT a slave to his emotions. A well rounded adult is always slow to anger, and even slower to rage. These are not sexy qualities and many misguided women claim. These are warning signs of trouble!

DO YOU SHARE HIS VALUES
This is probably the MOST important characteristic of a good relationship. Couples who achieve longevity inevitably share common values. They may be different races, and backgrounds, but inevitably they have common values and this serves to bind them into a meaningful and long lasting union. For example, she comes from a small family who has struggled strenuously against poverty. He comes from a large well off Jewish family who has never known lack. On the surface it would seem they have little in common. People are actually amazed that they stay together. But what they don't see behind the outer veneer is that they both strongly believe in family, togetherness, and have a strong commitment to unity....Trust and believe that ppl who have opposing values have very little chance of remaining together for long....

HIS SEXUALITY...
It is very important for a man to control his sexuality. This is something that real men automatically do. He may desire a women tremendously, but he will wait until he is permitted into her inner lair before anything happens. And even then he will take pains to protect them both. He will never allow his loins to 'lead' him. Not being able to control one's loins is the hallmark of children or brutes. Think about the poor defenseless women of many African countries being routinely raped and brutalized by the animals they call 'men' Real men ALWAYS control their sexuality and would NEVER take what a lady refuses to give him...