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Thursday, October 29, 2009

How the media distorts and discourages bw/wm couples....


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Rick and Eleanor Hemmert, looking unhappy and dejected: On ABC's World News Tonight...

Last night’s ABC World News Tonight profiled an interesting story entitled “Male Nurses, Stay-at-Home Dads: New Norm?”. The story involved remarks, and commentary from several couples, most of them mono-racial. But the one IR couple they featured included a wm/bw couple. Wouldn't you know it, they chose an unhappy couple which featured a very belittling, and non-supportive wife. The wife, Eleanor Hemmert, actually criticizes, and embarrasses her husband before all of America as she declares:
"I don't like coming home and seeing him in my apron-I wish I could say something else, but I've lost so much respect for him!"
I was livid watching the segment because it seems the media ALWAYS tries to use an overly-aggressive black woman and a passive, sour, unhappy-looking white man. I noticed the other couples they used all adjusted rather nicely to the husband's abrupt work departure. The other women understood that bad times happen to good ppl, and they were very supportive of their husbands. One lady even recommended that her husband become a nurse. He said he felt that this way, he would never be out of work again. The couples smiled and showed an amazing amount of support for one another. The only ones looking sour and upset were the mixed couple. This really upset me on several levels. Most of all the fact that they probably searched far and wide to find a bw who would disrespect, and embarrass her man on public television this way. After all, who knows how to hold it down in hard times better than us!! A man losing a job is nothing for your average bw. Many bw have dated and married men who did not even TRY to work! So having a husband lose a job, is nothing to most of us. We know how to ride out a storm. What really infuriated me the most was that they would subtly imply that had he not had a black wife, he may have gotten some support. I really resent the media's subtle, and constant, negative perceptions of bw. Whenever I watch wife swap, I notice if it's a bw/wm IR couple, they'll always use a very disempowering, aggressive, almost bitchy type bw. Then they'll pair her with a nauseatingly passive wm, and 'pretend' it's just a coincidence that the couple happens to be that way! The last time I watched one of these 'coincidental pairings' the very dark wife got angry that the husband had wine while she was away. She acted like a complete fool. Her mother also acted a fool, and their 3 beautiful daughters were caught in the middle.She had the nerve to come in screaming at him, that SHE did not allow wine in her house! (like it wasn't his house too lol!) The husband (a handsome wm) seemed inordinately happy to see her when he got back, but then she lit into him and destroyed the whole mood, in a matter a few scant minutes. The girls tried to intervene to no avail. She was off on a screaming tangent, and the husband dropped the flowers he had bought for her, and dejectedly slunk away. The segment ended with the white wife crying happily to have her husband back, and the black wife screaming, shrieking, and locking him out of the bedroom!
See the media has an agenda. It always has, and it always will. The point of picking a very passive husband, is to make it seem like the majority of wm are weak, passive, can't stand up to their women, and are woefully lacking a backbone. The truth is passive men come in ALL colors, and most wm are NOT passive! The purpose of throwing these men under the bus is to make them as unattractive, and unappealing to non-white women as possible. I'm sure you ladies know that most women (regardless of color) favor the take charge type man. Most heterosexual women want men who walk tall, speak with authority, and can handle a crisis. This is why women are often accused of wanting 'thugs'. She may simply be drawn to his air of authority, but this is often confused with an attraction to his 'thugness'. Men, just to clear the record, regardless of what you've heard-very few women want thugs. And it's usually the very young women at that. The older a woman gets, the more she longs for a 'real' man. If a bw thinks when she sees a handsome wm: "Hmmmm he is so handsome! But......Everybody knows how wm are! He's probably scared of his shadow, can't speak his mind, and has a small penis...hmmmm I think I'll pass...........
When this happens, then once again-the media has won. You see the reason they keep repeating these tired stereotypes, is because they become like auto-reverse cassettes in our minds. Once they are believed, they become convictions, and then they will automatically play upon sight...
Of course you ladies know why they present very aggressive, belligerent black women. This falls right in line with their proclamation that all bw are angry, loud, overbearing etc. They'll fight arduously to retain this antiquated stereotype alive, because it fits in with their program. This enables them to sleep better at night while they uphold ww as the epitome of beauty, purity, innocence, and womanly essence. It also discourages some non-bm from approaching bw.
Afer all, our subconscious guides everything our conscious mind does. So if his subconscious is saying; "Hmmm, she's beautiful, but you know how black women are! -I don't want her to go 'off' and start screaming and neck-twisting on me! Soooooo..... I guess I better not ask her out" *dejectedly walking away*
Once again, to the victor go the spoils. And it's a home run for the media, while both wm and bw lose out. It's important that you question WHY they do things, so you can understand the desired results, as well as the reasoning that goes with it. The media knows that ppl believe what they see! Even if what they see has been chopped, cut, altered, or literally made up! The truth is bw/wm couples are some of the longest lasting marriages out there. They are reportedly some 44% more likely to last than even WW/WM marriages!!! (check out Evia's blog for the latest stats) This would not be so, if these couples were miserable and unhappy as the media loves to portray..... Be not deceived-the devil is a LIAR, and so is the media.....

205 comments:

1 – 200 of 205   Newer›   Newest»
Lena said...

Yeah I always thought this image of black women in the media not only to be damaging to interracial relationships but as an attack on Black women's femininity.
The media acts as if domineering and manipulative white women don't exist!
I hate the pedestal white women are on. The pedestal is racist!

I'm attracted to Asian and White men as well as hispanic men. I hate how the media depicts black women as loud and mean. Like nasty,domineering white women don't exist.

Lena said...

The media depicts non-white women in a stereotypical manner however we black women are slandered with far more viciousness in the media.

I blame the mythical black community for this. Black men fought like hell to protect their image but they never felt that same urgency to protect black women's image as well. I notice so called black entertain is even worse when it comes to stereotyping black women.

Look no further than movies directed by some black directors.
I hate the movie save the "Save the Last Dance".
I used to like it until I saw how they depicted a black girl all jealous of her white friend who happened to be dating a good "brotha".
Pass me the barf bag!

I won't waste one cent on "Save the Last Dance"
I think buying Anime and Manga would be a better investment than crap like "STLD"!

lormarie said...

I hate the way bw are depicted in the media.I especially hate it that bw have and still do not fight (en masse) the negative portrayals in the media. We care about everyone else but ourselves. The few of us who do want to fight must fight hard.

KM said...

Sorry to comment here but I can't find your email link... Pics of Chris Noth and his wife, Tara and his boy.

http://www3.pictures.zimbio.com/pc/Chris+Noth+fiancee+Tara+Lynn+Wilson+take+their+iIp9btA_N0Ll.jpg?35170PCN_Noth01
http://www4.pictures.zimbio.com/pc/Chris+Noth+fiancee+Tara+Lynn+Wilson+take+their+JWLhSFS5ovkl.jpg?35170PCN_Noth06
http://www2.pictures.zimbio.com/pc/Chris+Noth+fiancee+Tara+Lynn+Wilson+take+their+31aUvALGiKLl.jpg?35170PCN_Noth07
http://www2.pictures.zimbio.com/pc/Chris+Noth+fiancee+Tara+Lynn+Wilson+take+their+CDkABfTz1DNl.jpg?35170PCN_Noth10

Anonymous said...

I am pissed beyond words. I've got to write ABC News and give them a piece of my mind. How dare they continue to sterotype us again, and again, and again, and again, yet again....

Black women - don't spend a penny on any of their endorsers. Disney sucks! I will not give them a red cent of my hard earned dollars! I will not support nor view their programming. Look how people boycotted Kanye (he deserves it, but) I say boycott Disney!! I'm tired of the nonsense. Where there is no respect- there will be NONE of my money spent. Today is about Reciprocating!

Donna

sky said...

In all honesty, I don't even know exactly what to say about this one. I for one barely watch tv, and if i do i usually switch to the movie channel/the news, otherwise im not on it. However my hairdresser gives me updates on TV shows. She recently told me about a reality star on the show the real housewives of atlanta. I've heard of the show, but nothing on those shows are real to me, so i don't bother. anyway this lady is your sterotypical bw, so apparently im not missing much out of these shows.

In my opinion, i believe they do the loud aggresive bw as "entertainment", for ratings, because hey in their mind, "who doesn't want to see a loud black woman? that's why we have her on there". Ever notice if the bw is quite, kind, and generous she's kicked off the show? Even reality star Omarosa knew this and said it herself. the only reason why she acted the way she did was so that she could stay on The Apprentice. Look at how many times they gave New York a show on vh1? all beacause she was loud and aggressive.

So when I see bw reality stars pull this stunt i know that they themselves are doing it, to stay on the show. Its not about representing bw, it's about staying on the show at the expense of bw's reputation. This is why i don't watch these reality shows, except "Tough Love" that was really good.

What can we do about our image? really I have no idea, except that when we ourselves walk outside into the world, we shouldn't be a walking sterotype. Those in the entertainment industry especially bw, need to get a grip of their image. The show "Girlfriends" (whether you liked it/not) was a great image breaker and mind you it was produced by Kesly Grammar.

So bw, need to stop depending on peps like Tyler Perry/Spike Lee to help change our image. They're not helping, they are only reinforcing it. We need to have producers like Kriss Turner (something new) to continue to make movies in bw in a positive light. Other than that i really don't know. And again I really don't watch a lot TV, so i don't know how bad its gotten.

Mijo said...

Why is it that the media and society in general hate black women so freaking much? They will take all of our positive black women who are role models and slander them or all out throw them out because they are too "civil" to represent black women. This is pure devilish. Who is behind this? satan. Just as you said. I am not saying that the people are satan, but they are vessels that he is working through. I don't understand why you only point out black men though. Black men aint the only ones pushing this image. You can believe that white men are behind this message aswell. But why would they want to degrade themselves? Who knows. White women are on a pedestal, and guess who put them there? The white men. Black men who believe white women are better than black women are fools, simply put. Following "mastas" command.

Anonymous said...

Black men are brainwashed into believing that white women are the best. The ones who fall for this lie do not think for themselves. The only problem that I have with Sara's post is that she gives white men a pass in this. I believe everybody is guilty in this situation. Black women, white women, black men, and white men. Nobody can escape the guilt of degrading black women. We as black women need to stand up and scream so loud that they can no longer ignore our cries. I do not see any other group more hated in the media than black women, Asian men are a close second. I don't think that black men get fair treatment by the media but their treatment is a heck of a lot better than ours. If white men loved us so much like you say then why do they promote this stereotypical nonsense? And don't tell me that all white men are good, I want ALL men to get equal blame for this mishandling of the black woman's image. I am not saying that all white men are this way, no not at all. I have a white uncle and he has been happily married to my black aunt for a 18 years, and they have a beautiful daughter. They are in a healthy relationship, not perfect, but happy none the less. Sop don't call me a "mammy" because I certainly am not. I just want to know the truth. I want to know how we can stop this, I want black women to be treated in society just as good as our white counterparts. I want us to have positive role models who are fighting on the ground for us. I want my future daughter to have positive black women other than her mother that she can look up to that are successful and presented in the media. Do not take offense to my words or twist them.

cool_splash1 said...

The thing with Nini (think that was her name) I only watched part of the first season is that the producers of the show wanted her to act ghetto, snapping her neck etc., but she never really fell into that like they wanted. I believe they also let go of one of the other black women, because she didn't act crazy either.

Anonymous said...

Another thing is the message seems blatant to me, its not even like the media is trying to hide it. Black woman=trash, ignorant, lazy, bitter, ugly, stupid. White woman=intelligent, pure, beautiful, chipper(bubbly). Ever notice how when a white woman is ignorant they do world play, like call her blonde, ditzy, or dingy??? If a black woman acts ignorant she is just plain ignorant and dumb. We need to put an end to this quick fast. This is not good and it can't be healthy for young impressionable black girls to see this image of themselves all of the time. I also notice how now all of a sudden Hillary Clinton is the Sec. of State we are hearing more of her affairs and all of her initiatives and successes--but you know when Condi Rice was Sec. of State, all I heard were negative things said about her from black and white people. There were no praises for Condi. Maybe I am reaching with this one though because everything associated with the Bush presidency= bad (from the media ofcourse, psss...im not a republican) but still. And notice how people are so loving and forgiving of Colin Powell who was also Sec. of State under Pres. George W. Bush. I am just baffled by the hate for us. Is it jealousy or just plain scorching hate? I believe both. Sigh, we can't help that we are beautiful and many white men and alll race men prefer us but are too scared because of the media to date/marry us.

Anonymous said...

A nice little positive video on youtube of the ABC show FlashForward: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r9FB_qi4HLM

May be this can be some encouragement since they gave the beautiful Gabrielle Union a role as the fiance(?) of an Asian man. Kudos to ABC. I really find Asian men attractive.

Anonymous said...

They are reportedly some 45% more likely to last than even WW/WM marriages!!!


Phantom says...wow. I didn't know know it was that much of a gap.


Lena said..Black men fought like hell to protect their image but they never felt that same urgency to protect black women's image as well.

Phantom says...Amein with that one. Very selfish I think '300' needs to be in black male learning curriculum. "How to Be a Man."

Sky said..The show "Girlfriends" (whether you liked it/not) was a great image breaker and mind you it was produced by Kesly Grammar.


Phantomare says... it sure was and I forgot about that. It took a white male to do that!!!

Lovin' Locks said...

Whoa, wow, I would like to share this with my man. Mmm mmm mm, being new to this scenario frankly I had not thought much on such topics. I tell you what is described here is typical for wicked mankind and this world.

I am glad you have shed light on truth.

Namaste,

LL

Taylor-Sara said...

Actually, I'm not giving anyone a 'pass' on this Anon. Surely you know the media is made up of predominantly wp-including wm! So to everyone saying I'm giving wm a pass on this-they are mistaken. As for why the media would want to perpetrate these images of wm being weak, wimpy, and passive. I'm not sure,(since some if not most of them are indeed wm) but I certainly know why they do it to bw.(the loud, masculine stereotype) To keep them unappealing to ALL men, and make them seem un-protectable, and un-manageble, and un-lovable. Bw MUST refuse to play the roles! They must create a new image, and call attention to ppl who would have them play the mammy, jezebel, or saphire. We can no longer afford to be portrayed like this! Image is everything! Image is the assumptions ppl make about you before you even open your mouth. It preceeds you! This is why it's imperative to refuse to play these roles anymore.....

lormarie said...

The show "Girlfriends" (whether you liked it/not) was a great image breaker and mind you it was produced by Kesly Grammar.--Sky

This is one of the things that almost painfully shocked me into reality. Why is it that when bw are presented positively in the media it's via a wm or other NONBLACK man? We all know that wm aren't angels, but a bw who still nags on the mythical "ebil white man" is in a serious denial of her own reality.

Mijo said...

I 100 percent agree Sara. It is so obvious what the media's goal is when it comes to black women. I also have the theory that the media has targeted us because we are some of the most spritual women in the world. The secular media wants to kill, steal, and destroy, just as satan. God's people are being targeted. The media spends so much time worrying about why people won't accept gay marriage when they need to be worrying about how much harm they are doing the black woman's image. I love gay people as I do all people but in recent years it is either you accept gay marriage or you you hate them (if you don't support gay marriage). Satan is behind everything that is evil.

Anonymous said...

Sara, I understand that but you did give them a pass. You did and there is no way that you can deny that. If the media is predominantly made up of white ppl, and men in general have more dominance over women in the work force---then white men are controling these imagaes. The black men who go along with it are sheep and brainwashed to the point of stupidity. It all started with the white man telling us that we were not people or women for that matter. Where do you think the "brothers" got all of this foolishness from because it certainly did not just pop in their heads over nigh. I really want people to think a little deeper than black men hate us because they love white women. Black men should take the blame for THEIR offenses towards black women, but they can't take the blame for all of black women's woes. To me the degradation of black women started during slavery and it is no question to me who was to blame for that much. I am not saying that the white men of today are still this way, just as I am not saying that the black men of today are all like Martin Luther King Jr. or Frederick Douglas. I am just saying.

Mary said...

Sara please ignore these crazy anon people. they're always on you blog. is swear, i've never visited someone's blog that had so many crazy troll (not to say you're a troll anon). please ignore the trolls

Tam said...

Hi Sara,

While I understand your concern with the whole media showing us in a bad light, we have to put most of the blame on the couple. The media only reports what will generate a cash flow, and if showing BW with swiveling necks and attitude galore makes money, that's what will lead.

She sort of reminded me of the BW who regretted marrying interracially on the Black in America series on CNN. She was outspoken, he a passive wimp.

We can't act like the media is the whole problem. I have always said Black folk in general and BW in particular need a better PR team. Our PR has been skewed left for so long it is hard to see us coming back. We have been portrayed as loud, obnoxious, emasculating, hate filled, yet church going, back biting, baby making, no husband having group for so long, to finally see a woman without some type of attitude or problem is refreshing.

However, with that said if WM, non BM or BM buys into the group stereotype portrayal then screw em. We have to impress men (people) on a singular basis first, then hopefully the group thing will follow.

Lucia Phillips said...

I am a bw married to a wm and I just came across your blog. I have agree bw aren't seen in the best light in the media at all. I really enjoyed your blog.

http://warriormomwife25.blogspot.com/

Oshun said...

@ Mijo

"White women are on a pedestal, and guess who put them there? The white men."

Ok, but that is normal/natural. This action preserves the group - whether they date out or not.


"Black men who believe white women are better than black women are fools, simply put. Following "mastas" command."

I am not sure of they are following mastas command when they do this. What do white men have to gain from BM marrying or breeding with WW?


___________________________________

@ Anon

How is everyone to blame? Group protection and elevation lies at the feet of the men of the group.

"Black men are brainwashed into believing that white women are the best. The ones who fall for this lie do not think for themselves."

BM make choices to be racist towards BW. They are not brainwashed. They are thinking for themselves.


"If white men loved us so much like you say then why do they promote this stereotypical nonsense?"


Entertainment is business. As long as people buy or vote with their eyeballs re TV, people will package and sell no matter how disgusting or insulting. The lowest common denominator. The cheap gimmick. Whatever is the most sensational- gets the most ratings, ad revenue, dollars etc.. I am not saying it is right, ok, and doesn't have negative consequences, but when you understand you can delvelop effective strategies for combating it.


Jews vigilantly police their images and Hollywood has a large number of Jews. So if they have a watchdog group to look out for them in spite of the large number of Jews in power - what does that tell you? Look at how conscious/sensitive people are when it comes to anything that can even be remotely construed as being anti-Semitic?


The policing/protecting of BWs image would fall to BM as the collective protectors and providers for the Black race. It is natural for WM to elevate WW as that preserves their group and keeps them dominant. If BM were normal they would do the same.


Men deal with men and respect the boundaries of other men. BM have basically said that it is ok to degrade BW bc they do it and they profit from it as well.

So what would make nonblacks who are looking for the easy dollar not walk through the door and exploit this situation? Especially since there is a market for it and people will buy?


Industries have always been exploitative in one fashion or another. The thing is you have to make sure its not you being exploited and enforce consequences for such.


WM and other nonBM are probably not going to offer wholesale protection to BW bc so many BW have publicly declared that their undying loyalty is for BM - no matter how badly BM treat/regard them. As long as BW are being perceived as being tied to BM - who think this degradation is wonderful, who are the biggest purveyors of this filth, and there are no consequences for it etc then it will continue.


Evia said something to the effect that even nice people with try to get one over on you if you let them.

Taylor-Sara said...

Mr L. I keep wondering why you feel the need to come here and give me your (unasked for opinion) for the life of me, I cannot figure it out. I mean, I have absolutely no interest in bothering you,(or seeing your blog) and yet time and again, I'm forced to remove your ridiculous rants.... I wonder why you're so fixated on me...interesting.

Skypurple15 said...

WM and other nonBM are probably not going to offer wholesale protection to BW bc so many BW have publicly declared that their undying loyalty is for BM - no matter how badly BM treat/regard them. As long as BW are being perceived as being tied to BM - who think this degradation is wonderful, who are the biggest purveyors of this filth, and there are no consequences for it etc then it will continue. --Oshun

Excellent point Oshun. That's why i really can't answer the question about our image. So long as the majority of bw allow this abuse to continue from "their" own men and others, then these images won't go away. The majority of bw don't even care how their image is protrayed, it comes to the point that they believe it is the norm and they can "relate" to it.

Here's a good example of what I mean...when the movie Shallow Hal starring Jack Black and Gwenth Paltrow came out overweight ww had a fit over that movie saying how it degraded them and how being overweight isn't a joke. Ever since then have you seen a movie about an overweight woman as the butt of all jokes? NO, but have you seen overweight bw as the butt of all joes, YES. Have you seen overweight hw as the butt of all jokes? NO, instead they have a movie called "Real Women Have Curves". And what do we get? Big Mama's House, Anything Madea, Norbit, and the list goes on. We allowed people to trash and stomp on our image all for a good laugh! Eddie Murphy, Martin Lawerence, Tyler Perry, so on and so forth.

To continue about being related to a bw character...I never related to Tiffany from "I love NY", I don't get her, and I don't try to get her. But I relate to Joan from time to time on "Girlfriends" or even some of the other cast members depending on the episode.

I can't say that our image has always been great, I remember The Cosby Show, Fresh Prince, The Jeffersons that had a lot of great images of bw that were living well and they weren't trashed or named a hoe/golddigger. Where is our image today? Like I said previously I really don't watch TV, so I have no idea what's going on, but from what I'm reading from you ladies is that our image has gone into the dumpster and our image is a free for all event, hence why Don Imus thought it was okay for him to do it.

Anonymous said...

The show "Girlfriends" (whether you liked it/not) was a great image breaker and mind you it was produced by Kesly Grammar.--Sky

Wait a minute. One character is sexually loose and a broke moocher, another is a golddigger who turns down a dark skinned man who likes her because she didn't want darkskinned babies (and she ran off her white husband with her craziness), the other is ghetto and the last one is insecure. Not great images in my opinion.

Jamdown said...

I cannot fault the media for Ms. Hemmert. And I can understand where she is coming from. She probably feels that her husband isn't doing enough to find a job, any job, while she is working her butt off.

If you google "Eleanor Hemmert", you'll find that their marriage was in trouble long before the husband lost his job - they have been sleeping in separate rooms for the last 3 years.

Perhaps they need some counseling or need to just divorce. I wish them the best because I don't think it's fair for everyone to be jumping on Ms. Hemmert as if she were a bitch until we know the entire story.

For a good depiction of an IR, please watch the Amazing Race, which features a former Miss America and her White husband.

palmwater said...

It looks like the propaganda is in full force! A black female gossip blogger is pushing this nonsense http://theybf.com/index.php/2009/10/30/exclusive-sanaas-man-steve-rifkind-blasted-for-using-black-women-in-the-industry/

At least some women called her out on it.

Felicia said...

"WM and other nonBM are probably not going to offer wholesale protection to BW bc so many BW have publicly declared that their undying loyalty is for BM - no matter how badly BM treat/regard them. As long as BW are being perceived as being tied to BM - who think this degradation is wonderful, who are the biggest purveyors of this filth, and there are no consequences for it etc then it will continue. --Oshun"

I see exactly where Oshun is coming from. But the MOST important thing that individual BW need to keep in mind is that it only takes ONE good man to provide protection, support, love, security and every other basic need that women the world over have and should expect from men.

It's true most BW are not getting these basic needs met by most BM these days. These positive and normal masculine traits are not being stressed by and large in the modern black "community".

And YES it's this association with and protection of DBRBM that is the kiss of death when it comes to BW as a group receiving the same level of protection that WW and other women receive.

BUT, on an individual level it CAN be received. That protection - and al the bells and whistles - ARE achievable with individual non racist and non colorist men outside of dysfunctional communities and cultures.

BW should never forget that It just takes ONE.

Individual BW who wish to survive and thrive can't stay focused on a group level (the sorry state of many BW on many levels), because that will do nothing but depress you. Individual BW can't save anyone but themselves. Including other BW.

Instead BW should stay focus on the INDIVIDUAL level. Finding that ONE individual (instead of thinking about group loyalty) non damaged and non colorist man in the global village who is willing to protect, defend, honor, and provide for her and her children.

Yes, the masses of black folks - especially the young - certainly seem lost. Not all but a large percentage.

STILL individual BW have to keep their eyes on the prize and focus on what's IN their control (attracting a good man who can provide safety, love, and security) and not what's not.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for this post. I all but hate the media at this point.

I had this conversation with my older sister. We were watching big brother and she was telling me about the crazy black chick on the show and my mom said " Why do they always show black women like that" and my sister protested and said that it was just a coincidence. I had to school her and tell her that this just "happens" to much to be a coincidence. The media definitely does it on purpose. I've noticed this for years and it angers me to no end.

Also have you noticed in movies, tv, and commercials how every woman/character will be thin and the ONE black woman will be overweight or down right fat? Glee is one that stands out to me. I have never seen the show but isn't there just one bg on the show and she is overweight and every other girl is thin? And then Eve is supposed to be on the show soon and she is a described as something like a hard nosed, tough as nails teacher (in other words ghetto, neck snapping and aggressive).

I am so over the media. I could be very far off but it seems like lately the media portrayal of us has gotten worse and I think it is b/c of Michelle Obama. I really do. I can't think of any other bw of such prominence that doesn't fit any of the 4 major stereotypes for us. It's like in order to counteract any positivity her image is having on us they have to produce MORE negative images just in case people start seeing us in a different light.

However, in order to fight these images, we should not go out protesting in the street. We are already seen as being loud, angry, and aggressive so protesting loudly is not the answer. I believe that you start from the bottom up and the top down and meet in the middle. When you start from the bottom up, you start with your self and people you have influence over and change your behavior. When you start from the top down, you get into positions of power in the media, in stealth mode, and get bw in roles that are not stereotypical and get bw more opportunities. I think it's best not to announce what you want to do. People don't need to know everything you are trying to do. Especially with us being considered so loud, they would never see it coming.


Easier said than done I know but this is far from an overnight process. It'll take years to change our image but it can be done.

Annoymouse

Rosette said...

I'm gonna have to co-sign on what Tami and Anon (@ 12:11 AM) say! We can't blame everything on the media. I can also definitely relate to what Sara wrote. Why can't all three thoughts be combined?

@ Mary, Anon was actually respectful. I don't frequent this site often, so I don't know who is a troll and who is not. Anon was agreeing with most of what Sara wrote. I respectfully disagree with you. To add to what she said, WM do control the media as much as WW. You can't put ALL the blame on one w/o looking at the other. Lol, but hey if you looked at WM it would weaken the argument to date out. That's why I tell my friends, there are bad apples in every bunch..you have to search hard for the good & juicy ones :-)

Sara, hopefully we can have a civil dialogue. I'm not hear to be rude or disrespectful. I'm 22 yrs. old, engaged, and of course in an IR relation (SO is Croatian-American). I AGREE with what you said concerning the media's portrayal of bw in the media. And for the commenter writing about RHOA, it was DeShawn who was kicked off the show not NeNe. I agree that something has to be done. But WE have to make the change, we can't expect others to do it for us.

Where I disagree with you is here: I don't believe ABC deliberately searched out for an IR couple where the wife is emasculating. Reality shows of course, but not this particular interview. My fiance saw the clip and we both agreed that wife was cold-hearted period! Yes, it does suck that they're IR, bc it promotes the stereotype. However, I think this bw would have been the same way with any other man. I do think, for once, this was just a coincidence.

Yeah, I saw the wife swap you were talking about and I was sickened myself! Could you please elaborate on this:

"Whenever I watch wife swap, I notice if it's a bw/wm IR couple, they'll always use a very disempowering, aggressive, almost bitchy type bw. Then they'll pair her with a nauseatingly passive wm, and 'pretend' it's just a coincidence the couple happen to be that way!"

What do you mean by "pair". Were they not a couple? Are you saying they randomly "created" a couple? Wife swap does everything for shock purposes (Christians vs. Athiest). LOL, you thought we'd be ignored? I get what you're saying about the stereotype of BW/WM. But I don't think it's always a intentional. There are lots of upcoming shows that are proudly showing IR couples. I think things are changing...slowly. Regardless of race, some women are VERY emasculating. It's just unfair that bw are branded and targeted as the emasculating type toward bm and also non-bm when we all know women of other races can act the same way.

Anonymous said...

I thought that we were advised by Sara that we should not support black men just because we belong to the same race. So why is it ok for white men to support white women just because they are white. If white men are white women's brothers then why arem't black men our brothers aswell. I don't like this double standard. White women, when it comes push to shove will definitely stick up for the white man over any other man.

Anonymous said...

Im sorry but any man who exploits me for a dollar is not deserving of my partenership. That applies to the white man just as much as it does the black man.

Anonymous said...

exactly. We have to step up and take charge of how were are being portrayed by the media. We need to stop tolerating all of the demeaning crap being produced by the likes of Tyler Perry and Chris Rock. The "MADEA" movies are more mainstream then what we'd like. I have a white guy friend and he has admitted to enjoying them, and he is not even the wanna be thug type, he is a punk rockish guy. We need to declare that it is not ok, stop going to the box offices to support this crap and lets take tips from other races of women who will not accept degradation from men.

Anonymous said...

Thought I would share Paul Patton and Robin Thicke are pregnant
Robin Thicke, Paula Patton Expecting a Baby
courtesy of celebrities babies website.

There’s a baby on the way for Robin Thicke and Paula Patton!

Patton, 33, is pregnant, according to a message posted on Facebook by Robin’s mother, former soap opera star Gloria Loring.

“I am going to be Nana Gloria again as my son Robin Thicke & his wife Paula are expecting their first baby!,” Gloria wrote.

This will be the first child for the high school sweethearts, who married in June 2005.

Last year, Robin, 32, said that there was “a 100 percent chance” of starting a family with his wife, “just not right now. We’re still little kids ourselves in some ways!”

Patton’s new movie, Precious, hits theaters November 6th, while Robin’s latest album, Sex Therapy, will be released December 8th.

Anonymous said...

I thought that we were advised by Sara that we should not support black men just because we belong to the same race. So why is it ok for white men to support white women just because they are white. If white men are white women's brothers then why arem't black men our brothers aswell. I don't like this double standard. White women, when it comes push to shove will definitely stick up for the white man over any other man.

Exactly how old ARE you?!?

Anonymous said...

lormarie, I am fighting hard to protect our image & promote us as the beautiful women we are - BELIEVE ME. Just check out my Facebook group, "I Love Me Some Black Women: http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=2253329567&ref=ts


The way the media tries to portray us literally makes me SICK. Like, it makes me want to vomit.

Fight back! Fight back! Fight back!

- Jen.

AlmondEyes said...

I read "theybf" blog while I was at work and quickly clicked it off when I read that post; I just didnt want to dive into the stupidity of the allegations. I couldnt beleive she posted that but at the same time I understand that this is a hot topic and since it fell across her lap she felt obliged to post it. I just hated the underlying tone like it suddenly confirmed what she was already suspecting.


I think perhaps said wm exec has a preference for black women but just because his prior relationships didnt work out it doesnt mean he has a penchant for using black women. If his exes were white would they be saying the same thing?

I love that blog but that post today made me give it a serious side eye. I was really not impressed. For those of us like myself who are in IR relationships its hard enough when you have people sometimes in your family other times complete strangers who try to make you feel uncomfortable or put doubts in your head about your choice of partner its almost more disheartening to see it being spread like poison in the media and on entertainment blogs.

More and more I am understanding that my strength about my choice has to come from God so that I can withstand ppl like the blog mistress, my family member and complete strangers and most of the times those strangers are bm. I have been following this blog for a few months now and I have read some of the stories Sara has posted and thought well that must only happen in the US bc I have never seen that happen in my large metropolitan city in Canada. Well, one day in the summer I was proven very, very wrong.

My bf and I wer walking to the cashier in Indigo and I saw a tall handsome bm walk in and make his way towards the stairs behind us. I paid it no mind and kept talking to my bf who was walking behind me as we snaked through the book tables towards the line up. I looked up again and that bm's eyes were locked on me and he had this twisted sinister look in his eyes like he was disgusted and very pissed off. I didnt understand why because I didnt know him. He made his way towards me and I told myself he was just trying to take a shorter way towards where he was going-I must be taking it the wrong way but deep down I knew something was wrong. I looked up again and he was right beside brushing past me(shocked me bc he was much farther away the last time I seen him) and he was staring down at me evil like he was about to say something or worse slap me. Then he looked up and his face went from anger to fear and he quickly took off in the opposite direction. I turned around and my bf was staring ahead with an angry look on his face and he leans down and says, "dont worry baby, I took care of that one for you". My bf is tall and on his happiest days can look very intimidating. I guess he returned the look with a, "if you even dare I will tear you apart" look so the bg decided against whatever he was going to do.

Sara, now I know and completly understand that what you are saying is real and not restricted to the BC's in the USA, it can happen here in Canada. My city has every race, creed, religion, and ethinicity including all the mixes you can think of living here. I was in denial but not anymore.

Please keep the posts coming.I dont think you are way off, in fact I think your finger is right on the pulse of this very real situation.

Anonymous said...

If white men are white women's brothers then why arem't black men our brothers aswell. I don't like this double standard. White women, when it comes push to shove will definitely stick up for the white man over any other man.


LOL, ww know which side their bread is buttered on. The White Man has given them the world -- so, it's pretty self-serving that, when push comes to shove, they're going to "stick up" for him! Makes senses to me! On the other hand, the only thing the Black Man has given to the Black Woman is a hard way to go.

It's about time BW cut their losses, don't ya think?!

Taylor-Sara said...

Anon, men are supposed to be PROTECTORS. That's what men do. To expect wm to NOT stick up for ww is rather unrealistic. Almost ALL men will stick up for the women of their race. It's natural. They can even date, love and marry out, and still be very protective of the women of their race. That's normal. What is abnormal is the way you see bm go the opposite way and demean bw every chance they get. (I was so trying NOT to go here today, I wanted to have a discussion without mentioning bm, and have it be just about US.... But to finish the point. Anon. WOMEN should ALWAYS seek reciprocity. IOWs only give your love and support to the men who give it back....

To the Anon, who insists I'm giving wm a pass on the media thing. I most certainly AM NOT! I already stated quite clearly that most of the media is made up of wm, and that the media is responsible for the horrible depictions of bw,so how is that giving them a pass? Please don't come here to argue. Make your point without provocative intent. I'm not calling you a troll at all. But I am asking you to respect the opinions of others. You did not even give us the curtesy of choosing a name, and yet you want to come and give reprimands? I think various types of ppl are responsible for the media representations incl. and primarily wm. I also think bw who engage in these depictions with their only guiding thought being the dollar bill, are definitely to blame-as well. IOWs New York (Tiffany) is responsible for acting like an oversexed, loud, vulgar, crass-cursing, scantily clad, and classless trollop. No one forced her to act this way. It's what she chose to do. I'm sure the image of bw never entered her mind, she wanted the monetary rewards and was un-perturbed at the way she was induced to receive them. I saw her on another show after NY was over, and she cursed out a christian woman for no reason whatsoever.(I think the lady offered to pray for her) It's sad that we have ppl like her so willing to throw the image of bw under the bus as fast as they can without thought of the inadventent consequences -not only to themselves, but to all bw everywhere.....

lormarie said...

Re Rifkind:

But if Rifkind has been cheating on his wife, wouldn't he be considered DBR and of no value to bw? I'd think that bw should focus on men who respect us and avoid those who don't...even the white ones.

I wouldn't call the YBF post nonsense just yet.

Anonymous said...

@ anonymous 7:35pm

I did not realize that Robin Thicke's mother was soap opera diva Gloria Loring. I went to that site you suggested and what a life she has led. That was interesting soap opera news.

a.

sistrunkqueen said...

Hi

Just returned home from a Bahai wedding reception. The groom was white and the wife black. A lovely couple and they will reside in Atlanta. So another example of IR love and marriage. So hang on my single sisters there is hope.

Anonymous said...

Sara all of your discussions include black man one way or the other. I don't see whats wrong with today's discussion including them. I just can't take generalizations in any kind or form, if you don't want as a black woman to be generalized then don't generalize others. I always say "some" as opposed to black men in general. I just don't agree. White have ruled this world for a long time, so ofcourse the white woman will be the token woman. Its not right but thats how it is. I don't understand how you cannot see your own double standard. A man is the protector but he is still choosing the white woman first on the basis of only her race and not her character or anything else. You say it is natural for them to care about the women in their own race the most, so what you really are saying is that you want black men to do the same? I thought that you had once said something along the lines of you do not expect anything from them because they aren't our brothers but just men who merely share the same race with us. Im sorry, but if it is natural for a white man to sprint to the support of a white woman, then it is natural for them to also love them first and foremost. So why would you alienate black women for choosing to be with a black man first? I do not choose to be with a black man first, however, I'll go with my heart. I still don't think its right to say that white women should be put on a pedestal as the best woman by white men just because they are white. sorry to me it is racist and narcissistic. Its like look at us, WE have the best race of women.

Anonymous said...

So white women do not get on TV and act like whores??? I understand your point Sara, but why are black women judged as a whole just because of NEW York, Nene, and others who choose to do the things they do for whatever reason we do not know. We can say that we are responsible for our own image, but at the end of the day, the best that I can do is make sure that I am doing the right thing and behaving in a God-fearing and lady like manner. What Tiffany or whatever else black woman does it not my fault, so why do I have to pay for it? The media exploits black women to make the whole look unappealing. There are trashy acting white women out there but the media shows white women favor and mostly promotes white women as being sophisticated. In reality, black women are no worse than any other race of women, don't believe that lie.

Anonymous said...

It reminds me of when black women were going so hard at Halle Berry for kissing Jamie Foxx. The act was disrespectful to Gabriel, yes, but I became so angry when somebody had the nerve to say that a certain white actress wouldn't do something like that or disrespect herself like that, but that white actress did tounge her brother down for the world to see. Which is worse, you tell me? Black women treat each other like crap.

Anonymous said...

@ Anon, how old are you? Am I not entitled to my own opinion? That is what I believe and I have every right to say it. I can't stand how people will demean others for having their own opinion, your comment suggested that I am somewhat immature and stupid, and I am neither. It was an honest observation not intended to offend anyone, but state my thoughts. I really enjoy critical thinking, and that means not seeing any man through rose colored glasses. I call it like I see it. Peace.

I Want A Jon Hamm said...

This is an intense post because I ALWAYS have to carry myself in a proper manner so I won't be lumped into the stereotypical black woman (young black woman I should say). I can't add too much right now, but it wouldn't hurt to have more Bobby DeNiros' in Hollywood (and of course more black women, but that is already a given).

Oshun said...

@ Tam - cosign.


@ Skypurple cosign again.

"So long as the majority of bw allow this abuse to continue from "their" own men and others, then these images won't go away.
The majority of bw don't even care how their image is protrayed, it comes to the point that they believe it is the norm and they can "relate" to it."

I think this is where the images began to get progressively worse - BM. Obviously there were the old stereotypes that were already out there (held/promoted by whites), but when BM started campaigning so hard and some BW played into it everything turned virulent. There is no backlash and people including BW -reward this garbage by watching, buying, going to see the movie etc..

I have heard the "relate" mess too. It is more ABC talk.

Oshun said...

@ Felicia

I totally co-sign.


I was responding to the "anons" who say " well, if WM supposed to luv us so much why aren't they all...??". I may not have been as articulate as I would have liked, but I wanted the anon to realize that at this point collective protection from other groups is not a reasonable expectation.

But as you stressed it is reasonable to expect this protection, support, and understanding from your husband.

Oshun said...

@ Anon

"Also have you noticed in movies, tv, and commercials how every woman/character will be thin and the ONE black woman will be overweight or down right fat?"

Now you know all BW be big bone-ded. LOL

I am being sarcastic, but that can also feed into the "relate" category that Skypurple mentioned.


They are trying to push products and most BW are obese. I have heard and seen many times - BW defend having larger bodies on TV. Take retarded Tyra - she even said Queen Latifah's size was a good/normal size for most Black Girls.

I am not saying that it is ok or that it is doing wonders for BWs PR.

Oshun said...

@ Anon

"I thought that we were advised by Sara that we should not support black men just because we belong to the same race. So why is it ok for white men to support white women just because they are white. If white men are white women's brothers then why arem't black men our brothers aswell. I don't like this double standard. White women, when it comes push to shove will definitely stick up for the white man over any other man."


Anon you need a lot of reading comprehension. Sara advised no such thing. The reason BW are encouraged to date out is bc of BMs collective behavior! Not SKIN COLOR! When men collectively abandon women and then start to devour them - the natural reaction is to flee to save your life.


It is not about being ok for WM to support WW. It is about basic human norms that cross all cultures. In all cultures/races the men do the competing/protecting/providing/conquering for the whole group. That applies to Chinese men in China, Indian men in India. All groups on some level behave in ways (especially the men) that support and enhance the group. That is normal. If BM were normal they would do the same. Therefore it is normal expectation for WM to collectively support WW. That is the way all cultures work.


It would be odd for a "foreign" group of men to lay claim, so to speak, to a group of women outside their group. Unless the men of that group were outright conquered during war.

Oshun said...

@ Anon

You test so much...



"A man is the protector but he is still choosing the white woman first on the basis of only her race and not her character or anything else."


You can't reason with crazy! LOL Where did that come from? You are embellishing again... Bc white people only marry for color - no other factors. How crazy do you sound?


"You say it is natural for them to care about the women in their own race the most,"

Yes it is bc it benefits them bc they are all White.


"so what you really are saying is that you want black men to do the same?"


BM are already doing the same. That is the problem. The only man alive on this earth that will break his neck trying to lift up a WW woman faster than a WM - IS A BM!


"So why would you alienate black women for choosing to be with a black man first? "

Where did that come from? What does that have to do with the conversation?

That makes count #3 where you have lied about what Sara has said.


"So white women do not get on TV and act like whores??? I understand your point Sara, but why are black women judged as a whole just because of NEW York, Nene, and others who choose to do the things they do for whatever reason we do not know? .... There are trashy acting white women out there but the media shows white women favor and mostly promotes white women as being sophisticated. In reality, black women are no worse than any other race of women, don't believe that lie."

And your point is anon??? The true answer to this question is above anyone's pay grade in here.
But if you want people to accept you as you are whether it be loud slutty whatever- press on and let us know how that works out.

Oshun said...

"It reminds me of when black women were going so hard at Halle Berry for kissing Jamie Foxx. The act was disrespectful to Gabriel, yes, but I became so angry when somebody had the nerve to say that a certain white actress wouldn't do something like that or disrespect herself like that, but that white actress did tounge her brother down for the world to see. Which is worse, you tell me? Black women treat each other like crap."


Who cares about some crazy WW? And why the competition to the bottom? Just bc some white folks are acting crazy that means Black folks need to do it too? Where is your head at? And why are you here?


"Am I not entitled to my own opinion?"

Yes.


"That is what I believe"

So.


"and I have every right to say it."

Ummm, no you don't. You are not entitled to expression on someone else's blog.


"I can't stand how people will demean others for having their own opinion, your comment suggested that I am somewhat immature and stupid, and I am neither."


If it walks and quacks like one...



"It was an honest observation not intended to offend anyone, but state my thoughts. I really enjoy critical thinking,"


The devil is a lie.

Anonymous said...

I Agree with Lena's comments, the media does indeed act like loud white women don't exist. I get tired of the three main sterotypes of black women in the media: the asexual mammy "hattie mcdaniel" charicatures, the emasculating sapphire that is mean, non-feminine and loud, and the jezebel whore that is an out of control sex fiend. All thes images are damaging to black women. I read in a book about a black jazz singer who was petite (size 3) and very feminine. She would get nasty looks from white women so much that even her back up band noticed. She asked them one day if they knew why she was getting the icy stares, they said bluntly becasue you are not big, black and fat, you don't fit their sterotyoical image of a jazz singer so it is upsetting to them. And I am sure black women all over endure this kind of treatment becasue they don't fit the sterotypes. Funny the media never focuses on these women! only the ones that fit the stereotypes!

Enlightened said...

"Lormarie said: But if Rifkind has been cheating on his wife, wouldn't he be considered DBR and of no value to bw? I'd think that bw should focus on men who respect us and avoid those who don't...even the white ones."

---------------------

THANK YOU! I've been pretty disgusted with the support Sanaa Lathan is getting for openly dating this married white man. He is simply a white man who makes his attraction to black women known. That does not a quality man make.

If you're going to preach black women finding QUALITY MEN REGARDLESS OF RACE, there is absolutely no reason that Steve Rifkind should be mentioned or featured (which he is on the blog's sidebar). He is the very definition of a low-value/NO value DBR man. That goes for Naomi Campbell and her "billionaire boyfriend", who is also VERY MARRIED and featured in the sidebar as well.

I understand what Sara and Evia are trying to do by displaying pictures of white men who are dating black women on their blogs. For a lot of sistas, seeing IS believing. We're told on a daily basis that no one finds us attractive or worthy. So if seeing these pictures makes black women reconsider the mess they've been indoctrinated with, I totally support that.

But I can't get with the support of black women cavorting with MARRIED white men just because the man is white. Especially since marriage for black women is one of the PRIMARY tenets of the BWE/IR blogs. How backwards is that to push interracial marriage for black women, but display pictures of black women dating MARRIED white men as examples of what could be possible for us?

Sara and Evia are both married, too, so that makes their support of these damaged relationships even more disappointing. If Steve Rifkind were black, there's no way he would get a pass like that.

laromana said...

Anon says,
The media exploits black women to make the whole look unappealing. There are trashy acting white women out there but the media shows white women favor and mostly promotes white women as being sophisticated. In reality, black women are no worse than any other race of women, don't believe that lie.

laromana says,
I share your outrage at the fundamental UNFAIRNESS of the RACIST,ANTI-BW mindset in American media/culture that CONTINUES to promote the LIE that BW are LESSER HUMAN BEINGS and 2ND CLASS WOMEN in comparison to NON-BW.
This UNFAIRNESS is compounded when it influences IF BW are considered WORTHY of being pursued/loved by QUALITY WM/NON-BM for SERIOUS dating or MARRIAGE relationships.
For years I feel that I've been treated in an ABNORMAL manner by American WM/NON-BM in relationships (eg. they'll initiate a relationship with me but refuse to get SERIOUS SOLELY because I am a BW)and have suffered/continue to suffer LONGER than NORMAL periods of singleness in comparison to NON-BW with similar attractiveness, personalities, and values as me.

Oshun says,
I think this is where the images began to get progressively worse - BM. Obviously there were the old stereotypes that were already out there (held/promoted by whites), but when BM started campaigning so hard and some BW played into it everything turned virulent. There is no backlash and people including BW -reward this garbage by watching, buying, going to see the movie etc..
The reason BW are encouraged to date out is bc of BMs collective behavior! Not SKIN COLOR! When men collectively abandon women and then start to devour them - the natural reaction is to flee to save your life.
It is not about being ok for WM to support WW. It is about basic human norms that cross all cultures. In all cultures/races the men do the competing/protecting/providing/conquering for the whole group. That applies to Chinese men in China, Indian men in India. All groups on some level behave in ways (especially the men) that support and enhance the group. That is normal. If BM were normal they would do the same. Therefore it is normal expectation for WM to collectively support WW. That is the way all cultures work.


laromana says,
Oshun, thanks for your very insightful analysis of the main issues that need to be addressed when it comes to how MOST BM are treating BW and contributing to ANTI-BW RACISM/HATE in American media/culture.
I have been angered/horrified by the increase in ANTI-BW VIOLENCE that has resulted from the sick ANTI-BW attitudes of DBR, self hating BM (and the BW who support them). There is no doubt in my mind that the refusal of MOST BM to PROTECT/DEFEND the HUMANITY, DIGNITY, and FEMININITY of BW has EMBOLDENED/PROMOTED MORE ANTI-BW RACISM/HATE in American media/culture.
If MOST BM behaved like NORMAL men (REGARDLESS of whether they marry BW or NON-BW) and ACTIVELY/FORCEFULLY PROTECTED/DEFENDED BW, ANTI-BW RACIST/HATERS would NOT be ESCALATING their ANTI-BW attacks and this would help IMPROVE BW'S image/treatment.

The problem of ANTI-BW RACISM/HATE cannot be FULLY RESOLVED SOLELY by BW dating PRO-BW WM/NON-BM, or by BW CHALLENGING/DESTROYING the LIES, MYTHS, and STEREOTYPES in American media/culture but MUST also include a RADICAL CHANGE in the RACIST, ANTI-BW attitudes/actions of MANY DBR, SELF HATING BM (and the BW who support them).

arthur said...

Too many Anonymous.

Mijo said...

@ Enlightened. Hello and thank you. These men are getting passes just because they are white and for no other reason than that. Who cares if he is a billionaire--the media has made it known that this man is married so Naomi is just humiliating herself. This man seems to be making no efforts to divorce his wife or marry Naomi--I don't know for sure but I haven't heard anything about him getting a divorce or anything. This man is a cheater and in my book that is always a no no. And believe me, it does not help the image of black men that Naomi is settling for that and embarassing herself in the meantime.

@ Oshun, sigh. What I said obviously went straight over your head. When I compared what Halle did to what Angelina did it was to expose the double standard that black women face in hollywood. And, no sweetie, I am certainly not the devil, I am a born again Christian and I rebuke what you have said in the name of Jesus Christ. It seems as if Sara(blogowner) had no problem with me expressing my opinion, so why should you? She obviously posted it---if she had a problem with it, she would have not posted it. You see, there are always two sides to every story. I do not condone what Halle did, but it disgusts me that some black women seem to think that she is lower or less classier than Angelina(white actress I was reffering to). Halle to my knowledge hasn't done half the things that Angelina has done in front of the camera. So why the harsh critism of her and the praising of Angelina? And why am I here, for the same reason you are.

Mijo said...

Oshun you have completely twisted my words with every analysis that you have made. I never said that it was ok for me to act slutty and that people would accept me, I said why should I be judged because of how individual black women conduct themselves in front of the world, when white women do the same exact thing and do not face such harsh prejudgement. The argument that I was trying to make, you obivously did not understand. I am not trying to offend you, once again, I am just stating my opinion. You have a very condescending tone, you have called me the devil and everything but a child of God. Thus illustrating how we black women have a long way to go in working with each other. I am here for the same reason as you, I am not a troll, and I have never said that black men don't deserve punishment for the attrocities that they have committed against many black women. I will not consciously do anything that goes against the benefits and interests of black women. I am completely here for the cause. I really want black girls to see themselves as beautiful and lovable and be comfortable in approaching any man of any race that they so desire. The media distorts our images and it is the impressionable young black girls that are affected the most. Self-esteem starts building at a young age, but it can build at any age. My point is that it is better for them to gain confidence early on.

S said...

What we as BW and BG's can do really is to portray a positive image of ourselves because at the end of the day, we can only control ourselves and change ourselves.

If you live in London UK and you watch the young black girls around you and how they behave, it just makes you sick to see how quick they are to embrace the negative stereotypes of us as BW.
They're loud,vulgar,masculine and wear clothes that even a prostitute wouldn't wear.

Watch any TV program or reality show and watcht he BW on there and act the complete opposit to that and you're good.
If the BW is loud, be more quiet and reserved.
If she's masculine, be feminin,
if she acts like a whore, act like a lady...

My dad asked me why i always watch "programs and tv shows with white girls on" and i said simply, "show me a positive TV show,be it reality or fiction that shows BW in a positive light and i will watch that. Until then, i will watch gilmore girls,the city and gossip girl and i could care less if they're white because atleast i learn something by watching them".

I too remember when BW were shown in a much more positive light and not that long ago either.
I remember fresh prince of bel air and little ashley and watching her grow up on that show and she was smart,pretty and well spoken.
I also remember the cosby show etc and liked how the BW there light/dark medium shade - all were portrayed in a positive light.

Sadly, those days are over and we're stuck with the finger snapping,neck rolling sheneyney's and the obese sassy saphires or the over sexed jezebels such as halle berry (on film).

We are forever stuck with BM and when people look at us in an angry way it is because we are looked as BM baby makers and we're the one making black babies and more importantly black boys and there for we are to blame for all things negative in society.
I want to break free from being looked at as the reason why BM are shooting eachother and raping "their women" and being the sole reason this country is a mess.

one of my friends said that BW need to stop having babies with these dbr black men because they're giving other BW a bad rep.
I agree.

it's not my fault there are little black boys out there,i didn't give birth to them and i am not attached to them just because i m a BW.
It's not my fault they grow up to be DBR (most of them!) or silent BM who when BW are being abused say or do NOTHING.

I am protected, not by Bm ofcourse but by individual MEN of other races and that's fine by me.
like halima said - run and don't look back, save yourself because god knows you can't save ALL BW.

Mijo said...

@ Anon, I completely agree. The media has been none to ignore the most positive of black women role models in favor of showing the extremely negative images of us. To me, it is basically very ovious. Hollywood seems to be liberal and progressive but if you look closely it is no more diverse now than it was years ago. The black actressess hardly get any decent roles unless they pull a Halle and fund and produce their own films or fervently pursue roles not even meant for a black woman to play.

Anonymous said...

@ Sara...I have attached a link to a teachable moment. This article is about a former NBA player and his bw wife.

http://msn.foxsports.com/nba/story/10294208/Ex-NBA-player-David-Vaughn's-fall-after-NBA-riches

It would be the bw that
that ends up with the low end NBA player who has no other viable form of income or employable skills. What happened to his university degree?

I will give my Nigerian co-worker a complement- her sons played football in college; however, they took their EDUCATION seriously so that they will not end up on the streets begging for handouts.

I do wish David Vaughn and his wife well.

A.

GoldenAh said...

Arthur,

Say it again.

These anons need names. Based on writing styles, it appears to be one, maybe even two individuals pretending to be a lot of people.

Half the time, this mendacious bunch keeps lying about Sara's meanings and intentions. Her writing is quite clear. Reading comprehension is not their strong suit.

They need to leave her alone about what Evia, or any other BWE blogger, writes.

The "white man is what's wrong with black men" shark jumped a long time ago.

@Oshun,

You are so on point about how normal men behave.

Skypurple15 said...

anon 4:37 (10/30/09)

The show "Girlfriends" (whether you liked it/not) was a great image breaker and mind you it was produced by Kesly Grammar.--Sky

"Wait a minute. One character is sexually loose and a broke moocher, another is a golddigger who turns down a dark skinned man who likes her because she didn't want darkskinned babies (and she ran off her white husband with her craziness), the other is ghetto and the last one is insecure. Not great images in my opinion."



I wasn't about to let this go. This is a prime of example of bw being boxed into something, so that they are not allowed to be any other character.

"Wait a minute. One character is sexually loose and a broke moocher"

That character was in complete control of her sexuality. She is what you call a free spirit, you know... what bw aren't allowed to do *eye roll*. As far as being broke, I know a lot of artsy people who are broke and usually they don't mind it. She always picked up job after job, so she wasn't necessarily broke. She was the type who didn't like being tied down. It showed in the people she had relationships with to her job. She had committ and abandoment issues.


"another is a golddigger who turns down a dark skinned man who likes her because she didn't want darkskinned babies (and she ran off her white husband with her craziness)"

So her whole character was based on a dark skin man whom she didn't want to date or the wm she ran off (by the way he was jewish)? lol, and how many shows have we seen bm star in who their wives/gf's weren't even black! As far as her being a gold-digger at least she was honest about it. I never hated her character, because she knew what she wanted and she went after that(something you should try). But i guess when it comes to bw they're gold-diggers and w/ other women(sex and city) their being themselves, its women empowerment. try again.


"the other is ghetto and the last one is insecure"

I am thinking so hard its not even funny, I don't know one girl on that show who was ghetto, so clarify that one. The one character you missed out was the single mom who went back to college and started to sell a book about her struggles. She normally gave advice to Joan(the insecure one)and the others of the group. Of all of them I thought she was the most confident. I honestly don't think you went beyond the show than what you posted.

The insecure one...Joan...Im guessing.Is she not allowed to be insecure? What did you want Joan to be? this successful black woman who holds it down, doesn't cry, and doesn't have worries like other women? Joan's character is ALLOWED to be secure, whether you like it or not.Her character broke down the "strong black woman" syndrome. There a lot of insecure women in this world and it seems to me the BC doesn't want their women to cry. they want us to wear the pants in the community, while bm b*tch and moan about being black. Sorry buddy but black women are ALLOWED to cry, we f**kin deserve it!


If you ask me annon. they were GREAT examples and images of black women. What did you want all four characters to be the this church going nothing but the black community type of women? wrong show buddy, you might as well go watch one of Tyler Perry's new shows "meet the browns" or "house of payne", im quite sure you'll find all the fat aunt jemimas/church going/nothing but a bm type woman you were looking for to make you feel comfortable. *eye roll*.

Taylor-Sara said...

Thanks Arthur, you're absolutely right. To all the Anons, You need to CHOOSE a name! There are too many Anons on this board, and it's too confusing trying to talk to 6-7 ppl all calling themselves Anon...

As for the point about wm putting ww on a pedistal, all I have to say about that is that many ppl are too blame in that department. Yes, wm started it(pretty obvious) but many POC (people of color) keep that white-is-right line of thinking going. The most blatant case of this I have ever seen happened while I visited my cousin a few weeks ago.
I took my youngest child with me when me and my cousin stopped at a walmart to pick up a few things.

A pretty becky came waltzed in with a bw following behind her. the bw was going on about how beautiful her skin, hair, eyes were. The ww was luguriating in the attention but tried to extricate herself quietly. She had an adorable little blue-eyed boy in the cart, and she told the woman: "Well thank you, but I've got to get the things my son needs, and-" The bw gushed in, "Oh don't worry-I'll take care of it!" She would not leave the poor woman alone, and proceeded to keep following her, and gushing profusely. After a while the becky began to enjoy it, and put her to use to find the items she needed, and even lift the heavier items! (which this fool did happily) At the check out line, I was shocked to see an Indian woman join in the subservient game. She stood directly behind becky in line, and kept staring at her as she began to murmer: "Oh, soo be-utti-ful! She said it over and over, as the ww's smile grew more and more condescending, and smug. She flipped her hair as she told the Iw thank you for the 4th or 5th time.She put her hand out to touch the ww's blond hair, and looked at it like it was spun gold. She was so transfixed the cashier had to call her twice. An Indian couple at the back of the line shifted, and grunted uncomfortably, but the Iw didn't even notice. As Becky moved to the end to retrieve her things. There was the fool-bw to put her things in her basket, as if she worked there! "Girl," said the bw, "you should be on a magazine cover, cause you so gorgeous!" My cousin and the bw cashier both looked at her hard, but she gushed on, with the Iw joining in! "Oh, yes she est be-utti-ful!" the Iw fawned,
I thought I was going to be sick... "And look at you-precious -angel" The bw was gushing. "You almost as gorgeous as your mommy"

The ww was in no rush to leave, she was enjoying the attention too much, she held up the line laughing and talking (stalling-really) while her lapdogs fawned around her....
So my point is that although wm made have originally put ww on pedistals, there are a whole lot of ppl of color keeping them up there.

Taylor-Sara said...

Re: Mrs H.
I don't think anyone is faulting her for wanting her husband to work. Of course a man should work, but you don't ever go on National Television and disrespect your husband before all of America. That's the problem I had with her. they should either have worked their differences out, or go their separate ways, but never put someone you're married to on blast before the whole world! What do you think the chances of saving that marriage are now? Think Robin Givens and Mike back in the day. Did anyone ever forget about her saying: "He shakes-he becomes enraged" I think he's bipolar-sometimes I'm really scared...." I don't remember the exact sequence of the words but I still remember what she was saying even now, years later... The world is no place to work out a troubled marriage, and there is nothing most men hate more, than to be painted as a failure before the world....

Taylor-Sara said...

Enlightened, I don't support ANY woman stealing a married man, send me proof that Steve is still married, and he will be removed today! I read from 2 different souces that he's been divorced for over 2 yrs! I don't advocate or encourage any woman dating a married man regardless of color! Lets make that clear. Send me the proof, and it's off today.....

Mijo said...

Sara that story is so freaking sad. You know how there is always that one wg in the group of black girls at school right? She is always trying to act "black" and impress black boys. This wg garners much praise from her bg friends and bb friends. What makes me sick is that they do arrogantly bask in such praise--lol. These bg need to be ashamed of themselves. It is ok to pay ww compliments but not drool over them as if they are the best thing since sliced bread. I have been told before by ww that I am pretty or beautiful (and by wm) but it is not to the point of nausea! Black women need to really get a hold of ourselves. It reminds me of a story about this Asian guy who fawned over how beautiful white women were all the time. He had a crush on a wg that he hang around until she revealed that she only found white guys attractive---and then he felt so stupid.lol

Anonymous said...

LOL...I am the only anon. who signs in as A./a. as in Ann.

@ Sara what in the world happened over night to this particular blog.
WOW!

Arthur I liked your blog. Too bad your removed it.

Ladies/men...take a breath and relax.

I do agree if the man is married then no he should not be in the side bar. The man should be single or if he is only engage- he is still single to me.

@Sistrunkqueen...do you think your friend would mind if Sara posted some of her wedding pictures? I bet that wedding must have been very special in such a lovely place.

How about us starting our own online weight loss club. We can check in every Friday or Saturday
and Dr. Ian Smith or Bob Green(Oprah)has additional information about healthy weight loss. Before we know it summer will be here and we again will be wishing that we had lost more weight. I have never notice a year to pass by so quickly. LOL...Yes, I am talking about myself. Would anyone care to join me? It can be fun just to see how much weight we can lose by May 1, 2010. That is six months and more than enough time before summer really set in. Imagine ladies 10 or 100 pounds less. This is a positive way to use our energy.

Ann

lormarie said...

Re: bw drooling over ww. I haven't seen it from adult women but I have with young black girls (all up in wg's hair). It sickens me. On the flip side, I recently gave birth to my daughter who is half white/latin but looks white (eyes appear blue at present). I find that whites and other nonblacks drool over her much more so than blacks do. Blacks say sweet things but they aren't all over her like whites are. I hate to say it but it makes me feel better to know that blacks aren't as colorstruck as I thought.

Oshun said...

@ Laromana



"I have been angered/horrified by the increase in ANTI-BW VIOLENCE that has resulted from the sick ANTI-BW attitudes of DBR, self hating BM (and the BW who support them). There is no doubt in my mind that the refusal of MOST BM to PROTECT/DEFEND the HUMANITY, DIGNITY, and FEMININITY of BW has EMBOLDENED/PROMOTED MORE ANTI-BW RACISM/HATE in American media/culture."


I agree with this. I can remember the Black Israelites video calling for BM to murder BW in NY.

Enlightened said...

@Sara,

You're probably right cause I came across the same things you saw. But I haven't seen anything that confirms it.

In the end, whether he's married or not, the simple fact is that Sanaa can do BETTER than him. Sanaa is gorgeous, wealthy, successful in her own right and child-free. Dating Steve Rifkind is a DOWNGRADE for her, plain and simple. With all that baggage he has, there is no way anyone can say with a straight face that he's on Sanaa's level. Steve Rifkind is not quality and neither is Naomi's MARRIED boyfriend, Vladislav Doronin. Both of their relationships are embarrassing, actually.

Sanaa is barely any better than her stank friend Gabrielle Union, who is ALSO publically cavorting with a MARRIED father of two (Dwyane Wade). And now, Alicia Keys has gone public with her relationship with a married father (Swizz Beats). What is up with these black female celebrities taking some other woman's leftovers?

No disrespect intended, Sara. I just think that the appearance of supporting black women who engage in extramarital affairs just because the man is white is NOT a good look. I'm ALL for dating quality men regardless of race. But ratchet white men need to be called out and identified just like the NFL players who have 10 and 11 kids by 10 women.

Oshun said...

@ Mijo

"@ Oshun, sigh. What I said obviously went straight over your head."


I understood you.


"When I compared what Halle did to what Angelina did it was to expose the double standard that black women face in hollywood."


There is a double standard in life when you are a BW. It doesn't matter if it is Hollywood, the local credit union, or the neighborhood grocery store.

It seems to me from the way you present your posts that you are more upset at the variety of bad behaviors that WW are able to get away with vs BW having a positive collective image. Kind of like the "White people are doing it too and worse" Black people love to trot out. When they want a pass for acting a nut. That is ineffective and nonproductive.




"And, no sweetie, I am certainly not the devil, I am a born again Christian and I rebuke what you have said in the name of Jesus Christ."


You can afford to be more productive with your time and prayers. Why not pray for all the BW and BGs who have suffered at the hands of BM? Or better yet, pray for BM to actually become men - since you were campaigning so hard for them in your earlier anon posts.



"It seems as if Sara(blogowner) had no problem with me expressing my opinion, so why should you? She obviously posted it---if she had a problem with it, she would have not posted it."


Because I have her back. If I feel as though someone is lying on Sara here or elsewhere - which you have done if you are the anon as above... then you get handled. If I feel like some unknown person is trying to derail or confuse the conversation for other readers then you get dealt with. The end.



"You see, there are always two sides to every story."


Where does this fit into anything?


"I do not condone what Halle did, but it disgusts me that some black women seem to think that she is lower or less classier than Angelina(white actress I was reffering to). Halle to my knowledge hasn't done half the things that Angelina has done in front of the camera. So why the harsh critism of her and the praising of Angelina?"


Again where does this fit in? Were we even discussing Halle Berry and Angelina Joile? I hope you hunt down and find all the BW who were uplifting Angelina at Halle's expense bc they are not here and it is obvious you are about to bust wide open if you don't give them a piece of your mind.


"And why am I here, for the same reason you are."


Not hardly.

Oshun said...

"Oshun you have completely twisted my words with every analysis that you have made."


I could say the same about all you have mis-attributed to Sara.


"I never said that it was ok for me to act slutty and that people would accept me,"


I never said such either. I just simply said do whatever makes you happy. If you think that BW are going to get a pass anytime in the near future - just like WW to do whatever they want - then go forth in peace. Present yourself anyway you like: whether it be loud, sloven, or whorish. You have choices. Express your individuality in all its splendor. I also asked that you let us all know how that works out for you.



"I said why should I be judged because of how individual black women conduct themselves in front of the world, when white women do the same exact thing and do not face such harsh prejudgement. The argument that I was trying to make, you obivously did not understand."


The bottom line is you are Black and you are being judged differently. The only thing you can do is accept it/adjust and move on. To suggest otherwise at this point - especially to other readers who may not be that far along - in my mind is covert sabotage.



"You have a very condescending tone,"

You know what condescending means and yet you can't figure out why its natural for WM to uplift WW?


"you have called me the devil and everything but a child of God."


Yet another lie.



"Thus illustrating how we black women have a long way to go in working with each other."


I am very proBW, but I don't have to work with all BW. Only the ones that I am in agreement with.




"The media distorts our images and it is the impressionable young black girls that are affected the most. Self-esteem starts building at a young age, but it can build at any age. My point is that it is better for them to gain confidence early on."


I agree. I am just looking at the how and why of it all.

Oshun said...

@ Sky

Cosign. I liked the characters bc they were all some version of middle class. Most were educated, all became homeowners at some point.

I agree there has to be some drama/tension to make a story and while they may have used some "stuff" like color/hair issues with Toni for example - it was IMO a better quality show for BW than what else was/is out there.

At least BW got married on the show and dated/had men in their lives regularly.

Sweet1993 said...

Hey Sara, I am a 16 year-old black women(legally girl) and I have been reading all the post on this blog and the one that had tech. problems. I never really notice the things you point out and thank you for doing so. And I have been reading some celebrity bios and the majority of the ones with black fathers say they left(sorry off topic). Cute pics of Chris Noth and family(mainly the baby). And also everytime I watch t.v. I get so mad because not all of us are like that.

Sweet1993 said...

And the link Harry Potter's blog does not work.

Taylor-Sara said...

Ann, you know we were not referring to you, we always know who you are because you sign the bottom, but some of these other Anons need to pick names...

Also, ladies let's have a CIVIL discussion, lets not fight. Of course we'll disagree sometimes, but lets do it respectfully....

To the Anon. who didn't believe the bw in the store was drooling over the ww. It's strange you had no problem believing the Iw was doing it, but you couldn't accept that the bw was as well. Well, you are certainly entitled to believe anything you want, it does not affect me regardless. And I quess I would not have believed it either had I not been there. But she WAS fawning (I never said drooling-you did) I have seen bm act like this many times(well, not that bad!) but that was truly the first time I think I've seen a bw do it. Anyway-that's not why I deleted you, you need to pick a name, it's just too confusing....

Mijo said...

@ Oshun, I get the feeling that you are disagreeing just for the sake of disagreeing. I have no idea how you know why I am here since that is something personal to me, but oh well. Also, if you can't see your own condescending tone then I don't know what to tell you. I mean, all I am doing is disagreeing with you, and as Sara said thats ok, its not like I am trying to say that my opinion is gospel or something. Just because I disagree with the reasoning behind some of the sentiments, and in particular the one about wm should naturally protect ww above any woman, does not mean that I do not understand that reasoning, I just don't agree with it.

Skypurple15 said...

Oshun said...I agree there has to be some drama/tension to make a story and while they may have used some "stuff" like color/hair issues with Toni for example - it was IMO a better quality show for BW than what else was/is out there.


I agree. Toni in my opinion, was the perfect canidate to have these issues. If anonn. understood Toni's background she would understand that Toni, was from the poor south and her family altogther had issues. I even think she almost didn't want anything to do w/ them if i remember correctly. So yes she would have grown-up to say to herself I don't EVER want to be poor again, I want a man who will provide for me so that incase something should happen we're still okay. She may have not said it that way, but if you looked beyond the Gucci/LV and whatever else she kept mentioning, security and wealth is what she wanted.

Before people start mouthing off about the characters of the show, they need to understand the characters background. Basic bookreporting skills, geeze!

And if you ask me like they did w/ Sex and the City, I think they should do a Girlfriends movie. I wasn't a dedicated watcher of the show, but I had some background on it, and believe it or not, not only black women watched the show, a lot ww/hw/aw i know enjoyed the show and were equally pissed when it was cancelled. I believe it was one of the longest running shows for UPN/CW.


Now as for Naomi Campbell and the rich bf, I had no idea he was married. What is going on w/ everyone in hollywood cheating, like its a new trend.ugh!

Sandra77 said...

Something about this Vladislav Doronin being married is strange. He and Naomi have been a celebrity couple for over 18 months, and none of the celebrity press (neither US, UK or Russian) knew before that he was married? It's not as if he and Naomi have been an "under the radar" couple for the last 18 months of more - yet it's only now that his wife comes forward. His wife says that they have been "secretly" married for 21 years? How do you keep a marriage secret for 21 years? Something smells here. I'm not saying that he's not married - I do not know. But this story is weird to the nth degree.

And re Steve Rifkind, he is divorced. It's the division of assets that has not yet been finalized (not unusal in a big money/asset divorce where the former couple can't agree). Quite a few people start dating again while they're in the process of divorce, particularly when the divorce is taking a long time. Obviously, you take a risk dating someone who's not yet divorced (and there are obviously moral issues with that too), but some people do it and don't see a problem with it if the person is really getting divorced (i.e., not just lying and stringing the other person along).

Deb said...

I completely agree with Mijo's comment. And this, too:
WM and other nonBM are probably not going to offer wholesale protection to BW bc so many BW have publicly declared that their undying loyalty is for BM - no matter how badly BM treat/regard them. As long as BW are being perceived as being tied to BM - who think this degradation is wonderful, who are the biggest purveyors of this filth, and there are no consequences for it etc then it will continue.

Sara, I've found that black women who choose not to date black men are usually very sweet. ( I believe most black women are the opposite of the stereotype, but this seems espescially true for those who turn to non-black men for love!) They absolutely searched far& Wide to find a sista who wasn't afraid to denigrate her man and make herself (and us) look bad.

One hsow is the exception: Melrose Place---the new version now on THE CW. Riley's character, played by Jessica Lucas (who is Pakistani and Haitian, supposedly), is in a relationship with a white guy and she's the sweetest character on the show. Of course, one can barely tell she's black (she's very fair and has "white" features) and the race thing is basically a non-issue, but it's still offers a positive view of black women that combats the stereotype.

Peace & blessings.

Deb said...

Another follow-up comment: You can search for Jessica Lucas' videos on Youtube and you'll find random people commenting on how beautiful she is, and how they watch the show just b/c of her, how she looks beautiful without makeup, how her natural hair is so nice. Just goes to show that we, too, can be admired.

Dorothy said...

"WM and other nonBM are probably not going to offer wholesale protection to BW bc so many BW have publicly declared that their undying loyalty is for BM - no matter how badly BM treat/regard them."

Why SHOULD white and non-black men "protect" RANDOM black women? If a bw wants to be protected by a white/non-bm she has to get him to MARRY her, then it's his JOB to protect her.

ak said...

The excerpt below was from an old comment of mine from another of Sara's posts:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah right. Whatever. but you know what let's put this 'bm are always brainwashed into something' scenario up against another scenario, just to have some fun OK?

Back in the day, say no more than five decades ago, the great American stereotype and 'brainwashing' from wm AND ww was that bm were out to 'rape all ww and wg, so let's just kill all these n-words right now to protect white womanhood's purity'. Right? Is everybody familiar with reading or hearing about that time in history?

Well then how come bw didn't take that stereotyping and horrid brainwashing about the bm and go and run with it? How come bw never locked their doors at night barring the way for bm to come in? Why did bw continue to mix and mingle with bm the horrisble brute and rapist with uncontrollable sexual urges?

BM just let a brainwashing just happen to them about US? The bw who look like their mothers, grandmothers, and sisters? Bm just 'let' everyone say and believe bw are unworthy because of the media's images of ww? Puh-leeeease negro! Then how come we didn't do the same when bw all grew up with the same images of the dashing leading Hollywood wm in the movies and on TV? I mean yeah there's Denzel and Taye Diggs, but there will ALWAYS be a dashing George Clooney, Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise etc. and there were Gregory Peck, Clark Gable, Cary Grant, Frank Sinatra, and Dean Martin before all of them!

Yet how come bw didn't drop all of the bm and run after all of the wm because of the embarassing rapist, brutal, uncontrollable bm?

Huh? Explain THAT one to me man!



I am just to sick and tired of that tired old 'black men have all been brainwashed' jive. Actually you make bm sound weak-minded and primitive just like eugenicists did back in the day! LOL BM KNOW when they're doing wrong and they know EXACTLY what they're doing wrong. But they know that they can hide behind racism, the media, and of course some silly black woman acting like his security guard or caped crusader instead of holding himself accountable and responsible. So to bw who visit this blog please stop the knee jerk denfensiveness over these bm PLEASE! Please, beg you do, beg you do....

S said...

To the person who said BW need to adjust, accept and move on because life isn't fair or whatever. I agree BUT, if that's the case than surely you must also understand that BW can't get away with certain things other non BW can get away with such as acting like the women from sex and the city..."girlfriends" and the character on there, specifically the "fre spirited" one, can't fool around with any man like say, samantha from sex and the city.
And you know why.

And a BW bus driver today was so rude to me, so i fully understand sara post about the "fawning over WW by BW thing".
There was a WW infront of me asking the bus driver about direction and she was so sweet to her you can't believe it and then when it was my turn to ask for direction she was so rude, i couldn't believe it! she basically told me to eff off and refused ot answer my questioN! i was in shock because i'm not used to that kind of behaviour although it has happened to me before that BW have been rude but the same goes for other women as well so i have never really payed any attention to it.

And yes, it does make me sick when BW "settle" for less than they're actually worth.
No woman should settle for a man that is lower than her and that's the truth.
My dad always told me to go for someone who is at the same level as me or higher.
Never would i ever go for someone who is divroced or married (!!), or a man who has kids or is alot older than me etc
I know what i'm worth and it's about time more BW realised that they're worthy of quality MEN.

ak said...

Skypurple

Thank you THANK YOU for defending the show Girlfriends, which was one of the last black shows I really liked since the long-finished Living Single with Queen Latifah and Co.

I like that Girlfriends showed different looking black women with different personalities that could still find friendship with each other even when they disagreed, just like with Sex and the City another show that I LOVE, all of the white women on there are of course TOTALLY different from each other yet they're good friends.

My fave characters on Girlfriends were, in order, the dark skinned bougie one who married the white Jewish guy, the biracial artsy Lisa Bonet type, and then Diana Ross's daughter the lawyer turned restaurant owner. So what if she's insecure? At least she took charge of her life and career and started her own business!

I have no problem with Girlfriends, Living Single and black shows of that kind of ilk, but stupid black people love their Tyler Perry buffoonery (Lord Jesus just take the wheel!). Why do they take up for Tyler Perry? Is it just because he talks about God and all these Church-y things? So what?!

This is why I like Spike Lee for calling Tyler Perry's stupid productions 'coonery'! LO LOL LOL

Anonymous said...

Haven't you heard Taye Diggs do not "dig" bw and he and his w/wife just had a baby boy. Taye loves telling the world how much he loves and admires his wife. I say God bless him and lets move on.

A.

Anonymous said...

@ ak,

Because we knew better than to believe all of the hype. I agree bm should know better.

Anonymous said...

@ S

I do not wish to behave the way some of those characters behave.

A.

Anonymous said...

Changing tv subjects...

Did anyone see Erica and Brian on the Amazing Race? I realize she was tired and frustrated. However, Erica should monitor what she says to her husband. It is hard to retrieve words once they leave our mouths. LOL...Don't I kow it.

A.

ak said...

Oshun and Skypurple you were both speaking the whole truth about bw and how bw just sit back and tolerate or, in some cases even love, the negative images of bw that are represented in 'black' or 'white' media.

And Skypurple when you metion The Jeffersons, The Cosby Show, and Fresh Prince of Bel Air where there were lead, regularly used bw characters who were living very well and were not afraid to show it, and very ladylike characters I might add, it just makes me think about how we've gone back waaayyy back without progress to Stepin Fetchit standards like living lawn jockeys instead of progressing forward in almost 2010. OMG before you know it, thi year 2009 will almost be through.....and look where we are with all of this stuff!

Back when those aforementioned shows were on during the 70s and 80s, black people were , without fail still heavily into the colorism issue and still complaining about it you know like the Spike Lee movie School Daze. But even back in the 70s and 80s, black people still had enough shame not to air all of their colorism foolishness out for everybody to hear and they still at least publicly wanted bw to look and act more like ladies on TV, at least for the most part.

And another thing I never believed that wm never had a hand in the way the media in the West is structured, because that's like saying they never tried to conquer and take over the rest of the world and Westernize other peoples! LOL BUT it sounds like blacks are saying wm are still doing all of the decision-making when it comes to women's beauty, images & types being shown. It's like where have people been? Have you not known that ww have long broken through their glass ceiling and have taken over practically most positions of power? There's loads of powerful forms of media that ww have been directing or sometimes owning. Certainly within the fashion magazine world. Anna. Wintour. Need I say more?

A white woman has been running Ford model agency for years and years now, and I read in the media plenty of times of how Ford agency keeps turning black models down who want work or want to be signed up. It was mostly never Ford, the black models always had to go through somewhere else.

And didn't someone here on Sara's blog just recently, say that Naomi Campbell, supposedly years ago, was told by the WW owner, editor, or director of Cosmo magazine that they would NEVER put a black woman on the cover?!

Still think it's only wm who do all of the hoopla and that ww or bm never have a hand in it?

Taylor-Sara said...

Ak, you are absolutely right. It seems wherever ww were granted control, and able to break through that glass ceiling, they immediately erected a CONCRETE ceiling for bw to try to break through! And yes, it was Naomi who was told by the ww editor of Cosmo, that as long as she was in control no bw would EVER be on the cover of Cosmo. Mag. Also, we already know that when bm head the department (seldon as that is) that bw are in for a hard way to go. Someone was saying that she went to a video try out for a slow-classy type love song video. She said that there were about 12 bw, and 1 Hispanic girl. The judges were all bm. They immediately found something wrong with every single bg, and announced loud, and arrogantly, that the Hispanic girl was slim and beautiful (KEEP IN MIND-ALL THE GIRLS WERE SLIM AND BEAUTIFUL!) and that the hg would play the lead. They told the bgs to try out for the booty shaking parts of another video! This is why I get angry at Tyra when she does these ridiculous minstrel shows. We bw have enough to deal with, we don't need her on tv crying about the modeling agentcy forcing her to wear weave (Which many ww also do-and she obviously is STILL wearing it!) or having bw on her show crying that they are unwanted by anyone because they're black or don't have 'good hair' (God, I hate that term-ALL hair is good!-and black is a blessing-not a curse!)
I still like Tyra, but I really hate her show. Sometimes I feel like she's trying to paint us all as Aunt Jemima's just to get ratings! And I noticed that after the ww went off because another bg won last time, that she immediately tried to use almost all wgs this time. So I just turned my channel... It's strange to me how bp seem to be the ONLY ppl never concerned about the long term, benefits or detriments to their actions for their entire race or gender. They only seem concerned with the short-term gains, and how it impacts them individually.......

Anonymous said...

A bit off topic but i found these cute pics of Kelly having fun at the beach
http://www.mediatakeout.com/2009/36601-flirty_gal_rb_singer_kelly_rowland_photod_on_the_beach____flirting_with_two_older_white_men.html

Love her!She seems like a fun girl who is really laid back!

ak said...

Hi I don't want to derail anything but I love Evia's latest post! Woo! She is really telling the truth, Ruth! It's too bad that all of the bw stuck in Tyler Perry-land will never grasp it or are too afraid to grasp it.

Also a few weeks ago a British weekly fashion and celeb magazine called Look talked about Brad Pitt and they had one page about all of his former girlfriends/fiancees and that page was titled 'All The Ones We Know About' and on that page there was Juliette Lewis, Gwyneth Paltrow, Jennifer Aniston etrc. AND *ahem ahem* on the next page the tile was very APTLY called 'All The Ones You DON'T Know About' LOL LOL

What race were the 'Ones You DON'T Know About' ?? Where they east Asian or south Asian? Latina? NOOOOO....

They were all black with one biracial woman on that page! LOL LOL

LOOK magazine said that not only was Brad Pitt engaged to Robin Givens, but that he once went out with Thandie Newton, and also dated Sinitta. Sinitta is a black woman singer from the 80s and she's dark skinned and older than Brad Pitt by the way. Sinitta's not known at all in the US but she's usually only with wm I've noticed and she was said to be Simon Cowell's 'One That Got Away' if you know what I mean.....

By the way I don't know what who was making that issue of LOOK magazine that week, (!) LOL but on the next page they showed the gorgeous white male model from Britain called Paul Sculfor, who once went out with Cameron Diaz and Jennifer Aniston too I think. LOOK magazine said that Paul Sculfor was seen on a date and getting very hot and heavy with a British singer called Alesha Dixon.

Alesha Dixon is a biracial young woman but she doesn't really look that light to me. She again isn't known in the US but to me she has the look and image of a British Beyonce type. I'm sure Beyonce must have come across Alesha Dixon herself and noticed the similarity!

Anonymous said...

Okay how is a man who is divroced or married, has kids, or older than you not on your level? I don't think that's what marrying on your level means.

Selena said...

Changing tv subjects...

Did anyone see Erica and Brian on the Amazing Race? I realize she was tired and frustrated. However, Erica should monitor what she says to her husband. It is hard to retrieve words once they leave our mouths. LOL...Don't I kow it.


A.

Yes I did. And she was p****** me off too! I tell you what, her husband has a lot of patience and I can see why she married him :-)

Anonymous said...

Tyra and others can start their own modeling agency.
As far as bm placing an hw in the led- in a way they are digging their own economic
graves.

A.

ak said...

I have aslso said on another post of Sara's that east Asian women are paired with wm a lot especially in the USA as people can clearly see YET you don't see, at least, a lot of leading Hollywood white male actors always with Asian women. Actually WM/WW Hollywood pairings just still stand out the most.

I don't really see mainstream media covering up loads of AW/WM pairings in Hollywood circles but hey anything's possible! LOL

And I also said before that Hollywood isn't even bending over backwards to cover the love lives of someone like Lucy Liu a leading AW Hollywood celeb. Maybe Lucy Liu shuns the spotlight, but maybe she doesn't.

BUT none of this has halted the AW getting together with WM at all and that's the point!

cool_splash1 said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eiHuQT4CMnw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oc3srKtnodQ

Anonymous said...

I thought that we were advised by Sara that we should not support black men just because we belong to the same race. So why is it ok for white men to support white women just because they are white. If white men are white women's brothers then why arem't black men our brothers aswell. I don't like this double standard. White women, when it comes push to shove will definitely stick up for the white man over any other man.

Exactly how old ARE you?!?

--
WM support WM maybe because WW support WM.

BW SHOULD NOT support BM(wHY?) because BM DO NOT support BW. ****WE**** should not be the ones who always pick up sword and shield.

Anonymous said...

WOW, I just came home from class and the SAINTS are 28 to 14 Falcons and it is the 4th quarter.

I think Hades may freeze over if the Saints make it to the Super Bowl and there is a GREAT CHANCE they will make it.

A.

Anonymous said...

@ Selena ...I surprised by her behavior and you are correct he has the patience of Job.

A.

Anonymous said...

@ AK, I do not think Lucy Liu is shunning the Hollywood spotlight. She has not had a hit movie out in awhile. I believe most wm feel that aw have less baggage. Hey, men can be lazy and do not want to deal with only extra baggage...except for them own baggage.

A.

Anonymous said...

correction...Hey, men can be lazy and do not want to deal with no one else's extra baggage...except for their own excess baggage.

That's better.

a.

Cinnamiss said...

Anonymous said...
Okay how is a man who is divroced or married, has kids, or older than you not on your level? I don't think that's what marrying on your level means.
-----

Marrying on your level means whatever it means to the individual. That can range from financial means, to education, to children, to looks if you want.

Lisa-just-Lisa said...

Maybe someone else already posted this video, but in case you missed it!Tall enough:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S90b21S_9Ww

Anonymous said...

Ann,

I have a different perspective on Erica's "whinning fit". My first instinctual reaction was why are you whinning like that you are making yourself and all black women look bad, you are perpetrating the stereotype.

Then I stopped and thought about it, what woman on the Race has not at one point been pissed off or whined, hell Meghan does it almost every episode and they are never in worst than 3rd place.

What makes it worst when Erica does it and by the way acknowledges that she has this tendency and is working on it than if Meghan or the poker girls do it incesantly through out the race.

She was pissed off , tired and whiny that day but so were the rest of the women.

Kelley

Anonymous said...

@ Kelley,

I agree with you. The other women did whine and complaint and I lol at the woman who would not go down the water slide.
Also, I agree with the person from another site that mention the fact that Erica's part could have been edited to make her appear a certain way.

A.

And that is why I say, "Erica knew she was on national tv and should have been a little more careful with her words."

Lili said...

Thank you for bringing to light this suspect phenomenom. They always find the worst examples of black women to present to the watching world! I have to shake my head at the foolish bw who allow themselves to be used and degraded!! Why? Even if I was offered a good sum of money I would NEVER agree to act the buffoon for entertaiment purposes especially as it degrades or demeans my black sisters, God knows we have enough issues to fight with why would I reinforce them! There is way too much at stake in the survival of bw.
I don't know if this has beeen mentioned but I wonder who are the people producing/creating these shows? White women? Certain black men? Just a thought....
Who is heavily invested in keeping bw down, miserable, hopeless? Who wants us to appear so unappealing that other men are put off? Hmm?

GoldenAh said...

A very short story here:

I was being interviewed (woman on the street thing) over in San Francisco years ago. My interviewer was a pleasant and rather nice white girl. I was very responsive and smiling in return.

Initially, I thought she was the real interviewer. So, imagine my surprise when I was turned over to a black guy who was aggressive and hostile, the complete opposite of the white girl. I lost my smile, my responses were clipped, but I made sure I kept my cool.

That negro wanted me to be angry. However, my responses were of a bemused rather than "angry" black woman he wanted on camera.

Folks, it is no accident that these media people have a racist / sexist script about us. They work 24/7 to provoke us, tweak their films / TV shows, to keep the belligerent black woman stereotype alive, front and center.

All of us have to learn to stop playing that game.

jess said...

hello! I would like to say that I am a bw who reads and loves this blog along with evia's and cw's.however, I dont believe there is some massive attempt to distort the image of bw. If these bw were not behaving badly then the media would have nothing to work with. BW are NOT PERFECT! admitting that is the first step to becoming a better person and improving the image of bw. Sorry, but even as a bw I DO know that stereotypes have pieces of truth in them...even though the extent of that truth and it's origins are ofter distorted.Or maybe we are perfect and bm and the media are all bad?

jess said...

I have seen bitchy,gold-digging,selfish ww shown on tv more as well. I remember Dr Phil tried to help this couple on his show were the ww would belittle the wm and even yell at him for drinking more pop that she allowed him to drink!
Maybe since bw are rarely shown on tv PERIOD we should be more carefull of the way we present ourselves. since whites are shown more on TV of course you will see more variety in behavior which is why the Bitch is not a labeled given to the ww race, but to the bw race. bw have to learn it's not cute nor a sign of female strength to be bitchy on tv!

jess said...

btw, look at the way Erica Dunlap treated her hubby on the NOv 1st episode of the Amazing Race. Dont tell me it was edited to look a certain way! That man didnt say one men word to her even when she scolded him, emasculated him,etc. that woman made me embarrased to be a bw the whole hour of the show. Brian must have low self esteem to put up with that crap. I use to be furious about the bw bitch stereotype, but as I get older I see too much of it in real life to get mad about that stereotype anymore. TOO OFTEN that stereotype is TRUE! I know i will be attacked for saying that and maybe even some will say I'm not really a bw, but I dont care. BW need to work on some issues too...just as bm and every human being does!

jess said...

"They are reportedly some 44% more likely to last than even WW/WM marriages!!!"
wm put up with loads of crap when dealing with many bw in relationships...as I mentioned with the Erica Dunlap case. maybe bw who date wm choose docile wm?maybe that's why those relationships last so long?

Anonymous said...

@ Jess, I could be wrong but, no one on this site claims to be perfect. We know we are not perfect and your comments really help the situation.

A.

Almondtea said...

I can't stand Tiffany Pollard A.K.A. Miss New York.
To me she embodies every negative stereotype about black women.
I wonder do Black female actresses get tired of playing these crappy demeaning racist roles!
I can't help but think that the independent film route may be a better way to repair our image as well as our individual conduct.

I agree with refusing to support media that mocks our image on a daily basis.

Taylor-Sara said...

Jess, no one is suggesting that the woman on that particular show was 'edited' to act that way. What we are suggesting is that the media will look for bw who embody this stereotype and encourage, them to 'go off' on national TV. Natually a very classy bw will not most likely NOT take the bait. This is why she is seldom used! They definitely want to reinforce an antiquated, predudiced, and negative stereotype whether you prefer to acknowledge it or not. and Also, I don't recall anyone claiming that we were perfect. Please refraim from putting words in our mouths...

Oshun said...

@ Mijo and Sara

I apologize if I am came across a bit forceful.

But I do stand by the points I was making.

A said...

Jess(a.k.a. mskitty),

What the hell are you doing here?!

Oshun said...

"maybe bw who date wm choose docile wm?maybe that's why those relationships last so long?"


I don't don't like where this comment is going.

Anonymous said...

Don't get me started. I can remember really seeing the hatred and lack of respect the media and people have of BW (and BW in IR's) in general many times. But this one incident stood out to me and I was just shocked and very hurt. It was an episode of Howie Mandels game show Deal or no Deal. It was sometime in July this year i think. I never watch the show but just happened to that day b/c my grandmother loves the show. It was an afternoon episode where they pull couples from the audience and they spin the wheel and whatever number it lands on that contestant wins. this episode was for newlyweds. Anyway, the wheel number landed on an IR couple BW/WM. I remember her name was precious and couldn't remember his. Anyway, you could tell howie was uncomfortable with the couple. So as the couple ran up to the podium all excited, Howie says "WOW you are already out of breath and you just ran from here to here" (indicating the short distance.) They weren't out of breath they were just excited. Then as the show went on it came time for the banker to make another offer. So then after the baker and Howie talk over offer on phone, Howie puts down the phone and then says "the banker has a question. He wants to know which one of you is Precious". The whole audience went booo and you can see that the BW and her hubby were clearlyy hurt by that comment. It was another DIG at the BW AND her hubby. I wish I could find this episode for you guys too see. it was really bad. Howie knew who precious was (the blk woman) but felt it was funny to make her look bad (like he couldn't tell the diff between her and her husband). The other contestants and audience didn't like that either.

Taylor-Sara said...

Whew! Anon. I'm having a Dr pepper (my fav. drink) trying to cool down! How dare that funny looking creton cast aspersion on someone! It reminds me of Imus (who looks like a crack-head horse, calling the Rutgers team ugly ass women! The ignorance of some ppl, really infuriates me....

Anonymous said...

LOL...Do not think for one second that most so called docile men are timid. I think most of those men can handle themselves when the moment arrives. However, rather than becoming violent these types of men would rather seekout a peaceful resolution.

Some people choose to think rather than just reacting to a situation.

A.

Anonymous said...

Anon. I was have to watch that particular Deal or No Deal, because I have watched the show and Howie talks that way to everyone. But, you did miss the show where there was a bw contestant and her fiancé a wm. She had a charming personality and it would appear that the majority of the audience and that includes Howie was pulling for her to win. In addition, her fiance proposed to her on that show.

A.

Anonymous said...

I just came across this am/bw You Tube video by KellyCompany. I think you ladies will enjoy this short video.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gFXXWXTFmgU

With their careers on the rise, their marriage on the rocks and divorce around the corner, these two flirts are still determined to make their relationship work. Starring Audrey Kelley, Andrew Chen. Simone Sullivan, Adam Friedman and directed by Erich Kemp.

A.

Anonymous said...

Jess is Ms Kitty/Rashida.

Jess/Ms Kitty/Rashida: Why do you come to this blog? Why are 'chicks' like you so obsessed with BW who date interracially? Why are you so concerned who we are sleeping with or who we prefer?

If you love the 'brothas' so much, then you should congregate with other 'women' like yourselves who feel the same way.

I'm sure there are plenty of websites for 'sistas' like yourself.

Lena said...

@ Jess have you been living under a rock the past ten to twenty-years?
Black women have had our image assailed for sometime. What's worse now than in the past is that black men perpetuate it and by extension give others permission to disrespect us.

Nothing these blogs contain ever implied black women are perfect. This post points out how unfairly maligned our image is.

I remember how Sara mentioned how black women who didn't act in a stereotypical fashion were removed from TV shows.

If Howe did in deed do that on deal or no deal he should be ashamed of himself.

Speaking of negative portrayals of white women. White women even when they are portrayed manipulative shrews the whole group is not categorized that way.

Anonymous said...

I agree that the media portrays black women and blacks in general in a negative light. BM are looked at as hereos and idols to a degree when it comes to sports and music, but BW do not have anything that is comparable to that. The few times that there are bw in the media most of the time they are not even black. Halle Berry is cool and all, but she is mixed. Angela Bassett who is more classy, attractive, talented, etc. is lucky if she gets 10% of the exposure that Halle gets. But a WG of equal talent, attractiveness, and class as Angela would be a top 10 actress in Hollywood.

I know alot of it has to do with BW are not part of the mainstream society(which is undercover for white culture). Some of it has to do with WW not wanting to see other women in the media except themselves. But also a large part has to do with the people that run Hollywood. I would imagine that alot of the people in charge of Hollywood and the media in general are WM. So I guess the question is are the wm that are running HW trying to push a secret agenda against Black people in particular BW or are they only giving the mainstream audience(white culture) what they want?

Anonymous said...

"wm put up with loads of crap when dealing with many bw in relationships...as I mentioned with the Erica Dunlap case. maybe bw who date wm choose docile wm?maybe that's why those relationships last so long?"



"Jess", you are spouting nothing but unsubstantiated crap. Whatever gender or race you actually are "Jess" you should be ashamed of yourself for perpetuating stereotypical falsehoods.

You zero'd in on a substantiated finding that ANY woman partnered with a white man has a higher likelihood of a successful lasting marriage than ANY woman partnered with a black male.

Which leads me to believe you're most likely a disgruntled damaged black male, or a p*ssed of Becky.

Regardless of whatever label fits, clean up your OWN house dear/sir before making blanket stereotypical lies about what makes BW/WM marriages the strongest.

Now what IS true beyond a shadow of a doubt is, compared to white men, asians, and other men, damaged black males behavior wise are the EPITOME of the word docile.

Docile means being a weak follower who is totally dependent on those around them for survival. For their basic needs to be met.

Now who fits this description better than DBRBM? They are slaves to Eurocentric beauty standards set in place by racist WM (and other light-skinned men) from back in the day. They are dependent on WM and white owned corporations when they need a job, loan, medical care, you name it. They are dependent on BW when it comes to getting them out of a jam, out of jail, and often providing food and shelter. GROWN A** "MEN" FOR GOD'S SAKE.SMH

Constantly complaining about what someone "out there" (a WM, BW, and usually both) won't "let" them do or be.SMH

I could go on...

Again, DBRBM wrote (and continue to write) the BOOK when it comes to docility.

So... the REAL answer to the question of why the majority of marriages to brotha's end in divorce is black women, white women, asian women, and hispanic women (and other women) simply grow TIRED of being stuck with such sorry docile men.

And subsequently dump them.

The answer was right under everyone's nose.

Thank you for helping us solve that riddle "Jess".

Anonymous said...

The Black Women Film Network is accepting scholarship applications now through January 15, 2009. Scholarships will be awarded to students in colleges and universities in the United States who are majoring in film, broadcasting, digital media or a related area. Average grants are $1000 and are awarded to the students’ account.

If you have questions, please e-mail BWFN Scholarship Chair Donna Lowry at dlowrywxia@yahoo.comThis e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it or call (404) 272-3385. Scholarship applications can be found at the organization’s website www.blackwomenfilm.org. Mail completed application before January 15 deadline to BWFN, P. O. Box 311288, Atlanta, Ga. 31131.

Anonymous said...

I'm a white woman and I have to say I'm fascinated by the way you perceive white women on this blog.

"The media acts as if domineering and manipulative white women don't exist!

You never noticed Kate Gosselin?

"The black actressess hardly get any decent roles unless they pull a Halle and fund and produce their own films or fervently pursue roles not even meant for a black woman to play."

It's true that there are very few good roles for black actresses but these days film offers few plum roles for actresses of any race (see link below). I've seen white women that were "put on a pedestal" but they were beautiful or charismatic. It's true that feminism has influenced white American men to be more respectful towards women than many, if not most, other cultures but ordinary white women are for the most part treated ordinarily. I think a lot of what you call being put on a pedestal is just common courtesy. It may just be that black men don't treat women in general very well even if they treat white women a bit better. Controlling for socioeconomic class, the black men I see in interracial marriages treat their wives indistinguishably from black men with with black wives. Anyway this is an interesting blog, white women have problems too and their lives aren't perfect.

Julie

Taylor-Sara said...

Sorry Julie, but I wholeheartedly disagree. But that's ok, ppl can dialogue even when they come from different perspective. I see PLAIN ww put on a pedistal every day of my life! They most certainly do not HAVE to be beautiful by any stretch of the imagination. Have you ever heard of Melissa Gilbert, Sarah J. Parker, Jennifer Gardner(I think her face is far too muscular to be attractive) Rosanne Bar, and many others. How many bw do you know can drown their 5 children in a bathtub and receive pity!!! How many bw do you know can have 14 children, (NO HUSBAND) and a wreck of a life, and instead of being talked about like a dog, they end up on the cover of ppl mag, and get their own tv show!!! How many bw do you know can play a hooker, and instread of the show being called; ('She's a hoe!) it's done in a very warm hearted, pampering way (to accomodate a precious ww,) and it's called Pretty Woman!!! I could go on and on, but the bottom line is if you can't see the pedistal ww are on, it's because you've been standing on it so long you don't notice it anymore....

Steph said...

Hey, Julie, it's great that you wanted to leave a comment and I respect that you were civil in your response but I think that the reality is that you are biased as a white woman on how the media works. It's not your fault because those are your life experiences but please look at things from a woman of color's perception. Do you truly believe that white actress have it hard compared to black/non-white ones? I'm not playing a victim game but that is just the way things are. I can give you countless examples of how shows and movies have various men of color but the only female represention is a white woman. For example, in comedic movies like American Pie, you had extras who were men of color with minor roles in the film...was the same courtesy granted to women of color? Even in Harold and Kumar where the main characters were men of color, their love interests were a white woman and a European looking hispanic woman. In Flash Forward, in the FBI unit that gets the most screen time there is 1 white male agent, 3 black male agents,and 1 asian male agent. What are the color of the women with the most screen time?? You guessed it, white. One is a lesbian FBI agent while the other is a prestigious surgeon. The black woman in the show is a lawyer but the two white women in the show get to kick butt on the screen while the black woman apparently does not have a life unless the whites need a break. Sure, there is Gabrielle Union, but her scenes are very brief and it is apparent that she is NOT central to the storyline or even that important to it. I won't even deeply attack the hot mess that is Grey's Anatomy: all the sexually and romantically active women are white and the only black woman has the sexual drive of a tree stump. I could go on and on but I've been rambling already.Next time you look at a film or movie, please take into account what you see. It is very easy, because of the white priviledge given in media, to overlook things like this but they do count to working actresses of color who are looking for work.

Oh, and we are well aware that white women do not always have the pristine image in the media (Jerry Springer, anyone?) but what white women have is VARIETY. Variety that is not granted to other women of color. I'm sure there are exceptions but that is what they are...EXCEPTIONS. Just from the examples that I gave you above are just a taste of the various ways white women have been portrayed. So, while I can agree that white women do not have it easy, they are truly not the victims.

I hope you don't think that I'm angry or attacking you because that is not the case but I could not help but feel that you do not understand the scope of the issue.

Anonymous said...

"wm put up with loads of crap when dealing with many bw in relationships..."

And you're making this blanket generalization based on your being privy to the dynamics of a large number of WM/BF relationships...right?!? Or is it really just an assumption based on your own prejudice against BW & WM?

Patricia Kayden said...

I kind of have to agree with Jess. Ericka Dunlap acted a fool on the Amazing Race last Sunday. Dying to see how she behaves tonight (airs at 8:00 pm on CBS). If her stank attitude continues, I will not be surprised if he ends up dumping her down the road.

She's very nasty towards him - he is a sweetheart towards her. My husband (Black) would never tolerate such behavior from me.

I guess I need to dump my hubby and get me a Brian!!

And yes, I am a Black woman. Sometimes we can critize each other if criticism is warranted, which for Ms. Dunlap is clearly the case. Poor Brian. Hopefully, he gets something out of being married to a former Beauty Queen.

Lena said...

I've seen a trailer for a stupid martial arts movie called Dragonball Evolution. All I can say is this if the actresses who starred in this movie were white instead of Asian they would still get more work.

I feel bad for the Asian actresses just as I feel bad for the black actresses who are stuck playing stupid roles that are no different from the racist roles of yesteryear!

For all the people who want to lay the blame exclusively on white men. You obviously don't realize that there are white women who have powerful positions in hollywood and they usually pick which roles people play in too.

I still believe Hollywood is where a majority of the residual racism resides.

Anonymous said...

@ Julie, "I've seen white women that were "put on a pedestal" but they were beautiful or charismatic."

Yes, you are correct and here is an example:

Renée Zellweger- I think Jay Leno referred to her as beautiful maybe two weeks ago.

Uma Thurman- plain

Anne Heche-just because she is a nut case

Anne Hathaway not so beautiful but, she usually play the role

Sandra Bullock- I like her acting but she is not so beautiful

Priscilla Presley- she used to be beautiful. What in the world did she do to herself- stay away from the plastic surgeons

Lisa Rinna- she should sue her plastic surgeon for making her lips look so odd

Amy Poehler- its a good thing she is rather humorous

Bjork- popular for what? She is a walking a nightmare

Marcia Cross- I like her acting but, she is odd looking

Victoria Beckham- the media always holds her up as if she was beautiful. Now, David is sexy.

a.

Anonymous said...

There is a huge Asian movie industry and if any aw wanted to make a movie that highlighter her or other aw they probably could make that movie rather in Hollywood or in Asia. Asian women need to stand up for themselves we cannot do it for them. Besides aw are probably more focus on dating and marrying wm than on making movies. As far as the USA is concern I think most aw are doing well for themselves. Its the majority of bw that need to get themselves together.

a.

Anonymous said...

@ Julie, "ordinary white women are for the most part treated ordinarily."

Your sentences are confusing.

a.

Anonymous said...

@Troll Patrica Kayden go and find yourself a bm/ww blog. This is not the site for you.

There was enough acting a fool for everyone.

a.

Anonymous said...

@ Patricia you #ss Troll

Brain gets a beautiful former
Ms. America and what does your so call husband gets...a loser.


a.

Anonymous said...

@ Julie, "white women have problems too and their lives aren't perfect."

Take your whining to a ww/bm blog or maybe the Kardashin sisters would like to hear your whining. Julie even the Kardashin sisters do not waste their time whining.

Bye

a.

Taylor-Sara said...

I forgot about Renee Zellweger, now is anyone is NOT beautiful, it's this odd-looking (always looks like she's sucking a lemon) overpaid woman! I'm not trying to be mean, but come on! This woman gets her pick of the roles, and always gets to play the princess-type when she looks more like the wicked witch! But she's a white female, so she's automatically coveted, and treated like royalty. She even took a role meant for (written esp.for)Angela Bassett, But I suppose that's supposed to be all right, and we should keep our mouths shut, and not complain huh....

cool_splash1 said...

There is a huge Asian movie industry and if any aw wanted to make a movie that highlighter her or other aw they probably could make that movie rather in Hollywood or in Asia. Asian women need to stand up for themselves we cannot do it for them. Besides aw are probably more focus on dating and marrying wm than on making movies. As far as the USA is concern I think most aw are doing well for themselves. Its the majority of bw that need to get themselves together.


Yes and Nigerians also have a major movie industry, but how many Nigerian Americans could get into it or even feel that they are Nigerians if they are 2nd etc. gen Nigerians. This goes for Asians as well. They don't have some racial mind link just because their family members are from Asia. But I do have to agree that they can see those films so they have images of themselves. Getting into those industries might be another story.

The thing is Asian Americans are working together to create a movie industry for Asian Americans. Nigerian immigrants are making Nollywood movies in the U. S. Latr it will be those 1st, 2nd, 3rd gen Nigeran Americans that will have a movie industry while we are still complaining about Hollywood. We seriously need to work on getting our own started and forget about Hollywood.

One major thing that Nollywood prides itself on is that they control that industry. They make their movies on no-micro budgets. Most were self financed or finding financing within Nigeria (sometimes from shady folx). Thats the reason the industry grew without anyone outside of Africa even knowing about it.

They production values might need improvement, but the fact that they got out there and created an industry is what's really impressive.

http://www.modernghana.com/moviethread1/2499/3/

What I would also like to see is Indian Americans recreate a version of Bollywood, Kollywood as well as other similar industries in America. Also the non-musical styles as well which is being done in the U.S Bollywood Hollywood etc.

Anonymous said...

"My husband (Black) would never tolerate such behavior from me."

What would he do? After calling you all kinds of b*tches and ho's, would he slap the taste out of your mouth? Or would he just bus' you up side the head?

Oshun said...

@ Sara

"I forgot about Renee Zellweger, now is anyone is NOT beautiful, it's this odd-looking (always looks like she's sucking a lemon) overpaid woman! I'm not trying to be mean, but come on! This woman gets her pick of the roles, and always gets to play the princess-type when she looks more like the wicked witch! But she's a white female, so she's automatically coveted, and treated like royalty. She even took a role meant for (written esp.for)Angela Bassett, But I suppose that's supposed to be all right, and we should keep our mouths shut, and not complain huh...."


You ain't never lied. I remember back when Chicago came out and this chick was elevated in promotions over the stunning Catherine Zeta Jones who could mop the floor with her face as far as looks go IMO. I remember thinking are they blind? Is it bc CZJ has dark hair and dark eyes? What were they on?



And then there were the Bridget Jones Diary films. Don't you at least have to be cute and adorable to be seen as quirky, cute, and adorable in a role?

Foxycleopatra said...

Ok, i'm going to weigh in on these issues one by one.

Re: Hollywood,
The majority of those in power are still white men but a significant proportion (read somewhere that it was a majority) of casting directors are ww. Casting directors are the ones who decided who plays what part. Still, u can't put all the blame on the casting directors, bcos they still need to put out what they believe will sell.

Black actresses for a major part, have themselves to blame. I no longer just support a black actress but I look at specific actresses and look at the career choices they make. For example, one of my faves is Kerry Washington. She doesnt restrict herself to 'black' or stereotypical roles. Gabrielle Union has on the other hand only recently started making more sensible decisions. Considering the opportunities she could have had after the 'Bring It On' movie, she really wasted opportunities. Another eg would be the black girl (actually, she is a 30 yr old woman....black really don't crack!...) from high school musical. She went for the role of 'the smartest girl in school'. She was advised against it but thought to herself, "wait a minute, why can't the black girl be the smart kid" and so decided to fight for the role and she got it.
Granted, at the end of the day, someone else has the power to cast you or not but u still have your own decisions to make. This brings me on to my next point. Black women constantly complain that they are never cast opposite Matt Damnons and Brad Pitts. Umm, well excuse me, black women have gone on national tv for the past 2.5 decades to announce that they did not want white/asian/latino etc men. No other race/ethnicity of woman has done this. Black men were willing to show themselves as open to others while black women were not. Should it then be a surprise that those same men who you spent years rejecting would assume that they would not be appealing to you and therefore not bother casting themselves alongside you?
Finally, in economic terms, hollywood has to sell movies. The vast majority of viewers of romantic movies are ww and so therefore the movie has to appeal to them. A black woman as the love interest opposite any race of man (including black) will not appeal to the general ww audience. Name 1 famous black or even non-white actress who made her success acting in romantic movies in hollywood? These black actresses should go for movies with a male or wider target audience (e.g action movies). If I was an up and coming actress, I would go for the sexy role in an action movie to get noiced and have the blockbuster, and then go for the drama/character roles to get the acclaim (and possible oscar). Lets be honest, will a romantic movie trageted at black women be the best idea? If the man is not black, they will complain (eg the Frog Princess). If he is black and the black female character is sweet, loving, lady-like etc, they will say she is a 'too white' etc. It is as if some black women can only identify with black female characters that are obese, abused, emotionally damaged, suffering, cheated on etc. the story always has to be one of the 'strong black woman' who came through in the end. Such nonsense does not appeal to me. It is unfortunate that the same cannot be said for several other black women.

Foolish black females support trash like Tyler Perry. Who are we going to blame for that?

We should begin supporting movies/directors/producers etc that show black women in positive light wether they are black, white, asian, latino men or black, white, asian, latina women. If a black woman in hollywood chooses to show negative images of black women, she can do so but I will not support her and will actively work against her. This goes for any other race/ethnicity/gender.

Oshun said...

Sounds like there are a lot of somebodies who are putting poison in the pot.

Seems like we have some peeps who are coming in posing as allies or those who want to learn who are saboteurs.


First it was all WM are not taking up for us. Which in my mind can be a slick backdoor way or reinforcing "de evil WM" on an IR blog. Which of course would turn other BW (fencesitters) off from escaping and considering WM as mates. When things of this nature are more complex than that.



Now there is the WM are naturally "weak/docile" and BW are so naturally dominant - ABC (acting black crew) speak for the abnormal definitions/stereotypes of masculinity and femininity being peppered in.

Anonymous said...

Asian women need to stand up for themselves we cannot do it for them.


Thank you! And they certainly havent been known for standing up for us. BW are expected to be mammies to everybody.

Foxycleopatra said...

Re Protection:
Black women should not take issue with wm protecting ww. It is normal and should be expected. Asian men do it for Asian women. Latino men for Latino women. This is not a black guy thing. African men protect African women. The problem is with western black males (whether in the US or the UK). The natural thing is for the men of a group to protect and provide for the women of the group. It seems that among African American males, they seem to not know that. The women seem to be the ones who do the protecting and providing. It is ridiculous.

My only problem with wm and their protection of ww is that they seem to not be able to do it without dehumanising others. For eg, Asian men in general would believe Asian women to be the 'purest' and that would be it. White men on the other hand would still feel the need to the classify other women as 'lower than' or 'impure' etc. That is where the racism comes in. This is in a historical perspective but there are still elements of this today.

To all my African American sisters, pls wise up. I have issues with a lot of things that African men do but I know that if anything ever happens, I will get protection from them. It is unfortunate that a lot of black men in America and Europe (Britain to be specific) do not do the same. This is why it annoys me when I hear people saying stuff like 'black women don't support their men' etc in relation to African American women. I know for a fact the if the bs that AA women got from AA men was the same bs that other white, asian, latino and non-AA black women got from the men in their respective groups, those women would have told the men where to stick it by now. Yet, AA women still choose to throw their support behind these men. There are a lot of AA men who are lovely, wonderful and know what it means to be a man. Please continue supporting those ones. As for the masses who are just useless, get them away from you. If these men try to tell you that 'you are listening to da white man' or 'you are not a true sista', tell him that if they were in Africa (since these men want to invoke the 'homeland' as it pleases them) and did the nonsense they do, they would have gotten that treatment a long long time ago!

Oshun said...

@ Foxy,


Still, u can't put all the blame on the casting directors, bcos they still need to put out what they believe will sell....Finally, in economic terms, hollywood has to sell movies. The vast majority of viewers of romantic movies are ww and so therefore the movie has to appeal to them. A black woman as the love interest opposite any race of man (including black) will not appeal to the general ww audience."


The only BW I believe who could have done this was Whitney Houston. If Beyonce (and I cringe) would take an actual acting class - maybe. The only reason I say this is because she actually has some heat still.

I am glad that you highlighted the money trail and selling. Film and television production and distribution don't exist in vacuums. They are subsidiaries of multinational conglomerates that produce common everyday products - from household to commercial goods. Even though they are not supposed to be monopolies with they way they are set up it looks that way to me.


I am sure that there are racists out there in the industry, but I think there is more of:

how can I make the greatest/quickest ROI

it doesn't affect me so I don't care/can't understand/would dream of considering bc its just not on my radar

kind of thing going on.

Oshun said...

"Black women constantly complain that they are never cast opposite Matt Damnons and Brad Pitts. Umm, well excuse me, black women have gone on national tv for the past 2.5 decades to announce that they did not want white/asian/latino etc men. No other race/ethnicity of woman has done this. Black men were willing to show themselves as open to others while black women were not. Should it then be a surprise that those same men who you spent years rejecting would assume that they would not be appealing to you and therefore not bother casting themselves alongside you?"


Cosign

Anonymous said...

You obviously don't realize that there are white women who have powerful positions in hollywood and they usually pick which roles people play in too.
----

Yep, and it's often white women who cast such hideous individuals as Sarah Jessica Parker as beautiful women -- and it's the white female audience who elevates her and keeps her afloat. From what I've heard WM don't generally think actresses like SJP/Mr ED, bucket chin/no lips Jennifer Aniston or pig nose, goggle-eyed Reese Witherspoon are beautiful.

Anonymous said...

The women seem to be the ones who do the protecting and providing. It is ridiculous.
----
Uh huh. And IMO it is the real reason the Negro male hates and resents BW to their very core. All that other mess about gold digger, ghetto, attitude, etc is just a smoke screen.

These clowns know there's been an unnatural role reversal, and since they don't have it within themselves to make things right, they resort to painting BW (their frequent benefactors) as Svengalis or the big bad wolf to their innocent Little Red Ridinghood (which is really a punk thing to do). They need to grow some nads and stop looking for women to blame when they themselves f-up.

Anonymous said...

The women seem to be the ones who do the protecting and providing. It is ridiculous.
----
Uh huh. And IMO it is the real reason the Negro male hates and resents BW to their very core. All that other mess about gold digger, ghetto, attitude, etc is just a smoke screen.

These clowns know there's been an unnatural role reversal, and since they don't have it within themselves to make things right, they resort to painting BW (their frequent benefactors) as Svengalis or the big bad wolf to their innocent Little Red Ridinghood (which is really a punk thing to do). They need to grow some nads and stop looking for women to blame when they themselves f-up.

Anonymous said...

Black men were willing to show themselves as open to others while black women were not.

Black men want to be viewed as men first and foremost; but it seems more important to many BW to be viewed as Black and Black alone, -- many don't seem to care if other races view them as women at all.

Anonymous said...

Many native Americans go under white or at least try to pretend they are white/native American.

Again, let native Americans concern themselves about their movie image.

I have seen some Bollywood movies and most are not good. Bollywood should follow its own voice and not Hollywoood's voice. Also, since Bollywood favors fair skin over dark skin tone people, I would not spend a penny going to see any of their movies.

We can say what we wish about Tyler Perry at least he took his money and opened his own movie studio and others could have done the same thing.

"I am sure that there are racists out there in the industry"... That is a understatement.


a.

Taylor-Sara said...

Everyone, if you don't have a name at the bottom, PlEASE -pick one. There are too many ANONS!

Anonymous said...

@ anon. 2:50 for yourself. Your family is not from the U. S. are they?

A.

Anonymous said...

correction...
anonymous @2:50 speak for yourself.

a.

Taylor-Sara said...

I agree wholeheartedly A. TP definitely had the sense to buy his own studio/co. Now he NEVER has to depend on the opinions of the heads of the industry to decide what he can produce. That was a very smart move. Also, whoever said that Asian men favor Asian women. I somewhat disagree. If that's true how come in all the Hentai (drawn porn) the men look like Asians and the women all seem to look white? They even have blue, green and sometimes purple eyes! And alabaster white skin! Almost never is it yellow (like real Asians) Only the men seem to be allowed to look ethnic! And the men (in theses themes, are always looking at these women, and making remarks like: "look at that lovely white skin!" I think alot of these men are doing to these ladies exactly what many color-struck bm do to bw. Perhaps thats why many Asian women are no longer interested in them....just a thought.....

Foxycleopatra said...

Lastly,

There is one more thing that has been irritating me. I am sick to death of going to bw-oriented blogs and seeing them making other ppls issues their own. Example:

1. I've seen some black women complaining that Asian women are beginning to pretend and act like 'white chicks', all precious and innocent etc. As stupid as such a theory sounds, of what business is it to black women? We should spend our time looking at how bw behave and how it impacts on the image of bw at large. If that is how aw have desided to navigate society, let them, it has nothing to do with bw!

2. This constant protest about India and their hideous skin colour racism and discrimination. Can someone pls tell me why so many black women are taking this as 'their' issue? We want to fight for the rights of those dark skinned Indian women as if we do not have issues of our own. How bout we solve the skin shade racism and hueism in black constructs first b4 going and doing it 4 others.

3. I've seen bw profess the beauty of other woc (in an attempt to sly ww). If many of these stupid bw knew what those woc thought about bw's beauty in general, they would shut up. As a black woman, u have better chance of being cast/seen as beautiful in white constructs than u do in Asian (oriental) or Indian (Desi) constructs. In those communities, the blacker/darker u are, the less beautiful u r considered irresepctive of how beautiful u actually are.

Foxycleopatra said...

@ Sara,

I was refering to protection. Asian men protect Asian women. I do not watch porn so would not know what happens there.

Patricia Kayden said...

@Amazing Race fans,

Ms. Dunlap redeemed herself - she and Brian really make a gorgeous couple. Nice to see!!

Anonymous said...

@ Foxy..7:09 pm I agree with those comments.

A.

Anonymous said...

LOL...it makes one wonder if someone was not reading Sara's blog in reference to Brian and Erica. Yes, she looked wonderful.

Good night, ladies.

a.

Anonymous said...

When I wrote "I've seen white women that were 'put on a pedestal' but they were beautiful or charismatic." I was referring to normal people, not people in show business. It seems that you're talking about models, actresses etc. Most of the fairly plain actresses you all refer to are "best friend" types that appeal to women viewers because they seem friendly, funny, and down to earth. I don't know much about black celebrities, but are there no kinda sorta average black female celebrities that appeal to black women?

They are less popular among men. Based on the names you all have mentioned it sounds as though you are talking about blondes as opposed to white women in general. Most nonblond white women would agree with you but most white women aren't blonde.

Sarah Jessica Parker is the queen of the best friend actresses, and I've never seen what's so special about her, but she did date Nicolas Cage and JFK Jr. so she must have some hidden charms.

Renee Zellweger, although average looking, is an excellent actress. I've seen the judges on American Idol call talented black female singers beautiful even when they wouldn't make the hottest pinups because their talent added to their feminine appeal.

Victoria Beckham (like SJP and Katie Holmes) is a style icon that specializes in high fashion. Fashion icons, like Jackie O, often get their prominence, for whatever reason, by marrying a superfamous man even if they were famous in their own right first. Not all are, of course, but marrying a very famous man like Tom Cruise or David Beckham is the best way to be a fashion icon. Jada Pinkett could probably do that if she wanted to. The First Lady followed this model and she's become influential.

You've mentioned a lot of names, and to a large extent assessment of their looks is a matter of taste. Askmen.com's list of the most beautiful women has women like Scarlett Johansen and Megan Fox, not Renee Zellwegger and SJP. So if I am correct you all don't want white women to be seen at all in the media, even if they are very talented performers, unless they're stunning? I understand that black women have fewer opportunities due to racism, and that is unfair and hell I think Renee Zellwegger is kind of annoying but why do you sit here and trash Reese Witherspoon and Jennifer Anniston's looks? If only gorgeous white women make it in Hollywood, however talented they are how do you think beautiful, gifted black women will do?

Con't...

Julie

Anonymous said...

Con't..

For one thing, Hispanic actresses like Penelope Cruz and Eva Mendes have no problem being paired with leading men of all races. This seems to be changing but it sounds as though black actresses have problems with this. Also, almost no Hollywood actress gets anywhere without sleeping around a little, even the so-classy ones like Natalie Portman. I know very little about the culture of black actresses, but if they refuse to sleep with white directors and producers, or at least lead them to believe that they will, they aren't going to get as far as white Asian and Hispanic actresses who are more willing to go on the casting couch. Penelope Cruz seems to sleep with every actor she makes a film with, but she always works and got herself an Oscar.


The issue of white-looking Hispanic women in Hollywood is interesting. Most Hispanic-American women have African or Native American roots but Hollywood imports 100% European women from Spain like Penelope Cruz and Paz Vega. However, if you watch Spanish-language telenovelas produced for mestizo Latin Americans they are populated with white women. Maybe mestizo women want mestizo women as the stars of their programs but if Hollywood is discriminating against mestizo women it is simply mimicking the Latin American media. Hollywood wants to make money with the least amount of work, so promoting white Hispanic women like Shakira, Sofia Vergara et al who have already proven popular with Latin Americans is the obvious business model.

Sara, you mentioned Nadya Suleman. If she was just a random woman who could neither keep her legs closed or effectively use birth control and thus ended up manless with 14 kids she wouldn't be famous. But Nadya Suleman chose to have six kids by a sperm donor as a single mom by choice. Then at the age of 33 with 6 kids she underwent IVF and had octuplets. That behavior is so bizarre that it will get people to watch the news, which is what the studio heads care about. Also, it touches on all our anxieties about the misuse of fertility treatments, women choosing to have kids on their own, famous-for-being famous celebrity culture. And she seems to be media savvy so she gets herself a magazine cover. But is documenting a trainwreck putting someone on a pedestal? If the news outlets themselves don't overtly criticize her private citizens do. Go to an article about her and you'll see tons of people calling her psycho. For that matter, how should the media discuss someone who's clearly mentally ill? I think she's an incompetent mother and should lose her kids, but I certainly don't want to see her in a video like that black actress who's a mentally ill crack-head. Anyway, if sinking into psychosis and drug addiction in the public eye is how you define being on a pedestal do you think Lindsey Lohan is goddess? Anyway if Octomom were black, assuming everything else about her were the same, I think the mainstream media would treat her similarly and that she'd be savaged in black publications.

Anyway I thank you ladies for being civil because these are very contentious issues. If you go to askmen.com's top 99 beautiful women (see link below) you'll see that Rihanna is #8, and rumor has it that she is linked to Justin Timberlake. Now that would be an interesting couple.

http://www.askmen.com/specials/2009_top_99/rihanna-8.html

Here's a link I mentioned earlier about the decline in substantive rolls for women in Hollywood.

http://vera-farmiga.com/press/index.php?subaction=showfull&id=1166639022&archive=&start_from=&ucat=1&


Julie

Taylor-Sara said...

Wait a minute JULIE, I don't like when ppl put words in my mouth! Don't presume to know what I'm thinking unless I say something to that effect ok? I never said only stunning ww should have acclaim or be on tv. That's ridiculous, since few women of any race would fit that catagory. What I have a problem with is plain ww held up as beautiful, are always getting the romantic roles just because they are WHITE! This has nothing to do with acting ability. Good and great actresses come in ALL shades-not just white! In case you didn't know. I have a question for you hon. Uh-since this is a bw-Wm interracial board-why exactly are YOU here???

KM said...

Julie = troll.

That's what I got from reading her most recent post.

Anonymous said...

@ Julie, I said it before and I will say it again this site is not for you. Go to a ww/bm site and discuss whatever you like. Ice-T would enjoy talking with your plight.

Anonymous said...

I have a feeling that Julie maybe our old friend Laurelton or that other assumed names.

a.

GoldenAh said...

Hollywood never actually loses money on the movies they make: it has a permanent decades-long afterlife. They can cast anyone in their films (non-stars) and it would be a "hit."

Look at Paranormal. It had a low budget, no stars and was pushed by Paramount. It's popping $90mil plus.

I would like to believe that they need the same boring, unattractive ww actresses in every film, but frankly, the numbers don't lie. There is no risk for them in casting. It's racism at work.

I don't have a problem, or care, quite frankly, regarding ww in movies about them. However, a lot of the films / TV / Cables programs out there could have more diverse casts, and less stereotypical roles for bw.

I sometimes check the box office stats; Hollywood always makes money, even on their so-called bombs.

Link here: NYTimes article about expensive Avatar and the unconcern by Hollywood about lack of stars and perhaps not being a blockbuster.

As for making films, I have no interest in it. I'm griping from the perspective of a consumer of this entertainment.

Anonymous said...

OMG!Another day, another movie is made to degrade BW. Jamie Foxx and Matrin Lawrence have done it again!SMH http://www.comingsoon.net/news/movienews.php?id=60722

It's called Sheneneh and Wanda - yeah I know!!SMH!When will they ever stop??

Fifi

ak said...

Yeah also I like how Tyler Perry was 'so annoyed' about Spike Lee's comments on the 60 Minutes clip I saw. LOL

Tyler was like 'We can't pretend that people like this [his characters] don't exist', and I was like do you, just because you're a black man, HAVE to show off the example that black people like New York, or one of the Klumps actually exist.

I mean yes there are white people putting themselves on Jerry Springer etc. to show themselves up and there are shows like My Name Is Earl to show up the working class trashier ones but whites in Hollywood always make an example of showing their BEST people or their best sides. And they show a variety of whites from bougie to boho.

And instead of Tyler Perry showing blacks like that he just HAS to show off the blacks who are back-broken mules who go to church five times a week, and who have never even left their state or county and will never even think of applying for their passports? The kind who think that every black person must sound like they come from the southern USA and have a cousin called Peaches.

Clarice said...

Check out the post over at Evia's blog as well as this link about a positive BW/WM couple - currently on Amazing Race. I do not usually watch the show because the couples are so dysfunctional regardless as to race but I have been hooked this season because of these two lovely, healthy loving people.

http://www.fox43.com/entertainment/photos/orl-ericka-dunlap-pictures,0,268441.photogallery?index=orl-erickadunlap2420090908134154

http://forum.realityfanforum.com/index.php?topic=20718.0

They have some great photos and well written articles.

This will make you smile.

V/r

Clarice

Lena said...

I only used Asian actresses as an example on how Hollywood is still in the tank for keeping white women on a pedestal. I still acknowledge that Hollywood treats us a lot worse than Asians as whole.

It still confirms my belief that Hollywood is racist and the only way to get them to listen is if we hurt them by not spending money on their products!

cool_splash1 said...

I have seen some Bollywood movies and most are not good. Bollywood should follow its own voice and not Hollywoood's voice. Also, since Bollywood favors fair skin over dark skin tone people, I would not spend a penny going to see any of their movies.

I still watch Bwood movies. The most movies being not good is really an opinion. You have to ask are you basing it on what you grew up with when it comes to Hollywood or as a movie style in it's own right. Also it's really only now that many are more westernized and that's because they are trying to appeal to NRI's. I mean seriously Bollywood movies definately have a different style of Hollywood. Plus most Hwood movies aren't always good. But it's those movies that do grab you that make a lasting impression. Yes they have colorism actually they've had it for around 2k years, but that won't stop me from watching Bollywood, Kollywood etc. movies. Plus there are films outside of Bollywood in India. Bollywood is one of many film industries. Then again my thing is filmmaking.

Anonymous said...

You ain't never lied. I remember back when Chicago came out and this chick was elevated in promotions over the stunning Catherine Zeta Jones who could mop the floor with her face as far as looks go IMO. I remember thinking are they blind? Is it bc CZJ has dark hair and dark eyes? What were they on?



If you want to talk beautiful, I always thought CZJ was one classy lady, she wasn't even the kooky types they like to place on pedistals these days.

trish said...

If any of you read Zabeth's blog you would note a very interesting piece about Hollywood’s support (Polanski) and sanctioning (Towelhead,Notes on Scandal,Little Children,etc) of pedophilia. I don't expect much from them and I certainly don't expect them to give an accurate portrayal of black women. What we can do is to be cognizant of how we conduct ourselves in our everyday life. We need to observe our own behavior. We need to make the negative portrayals seem atypical by conducting ourselves in the opposite manner.
Steps to stop the poor portrayal of black women IMO:
Lobby or pressure any woman that engages in this type of behavior e.g. Tiffany (I love NY)
We could use the net etc to embarrass such women that dutifully engage in promoting the negative image of black women.
This may sound extreme but sometimes people need to be embarrassed into behaving properly.

Secondly, if you’re asked to take part in any media event, pay particular attention to what comes out of your mouth as well as the intent of the producer.

Don’t give your hard earned dollars to films, storylines etc that denigrate you.

Write letters to the show and its sponsors if you find something distasteful.

Let's actually do something instead of just talking about it.

Taylor-Sara said...

You are sooooo right Trish, and I think the embarrassment angle can be very effective. I remember seeing a bit of I love NY, and I was shocked that her so-called Christian mother got angry and went on a cursing spiel like you wouldn't believe! The whole show was trash.And someone was right in saying the difference when you see ww portrayed as trashy on tv is that you see ALL ranges or human behavior. You see ww portrayed as classy, elegant, regal, powerful, insightful, vulnerable etc. They're given many veneers. We all know our main 3. Saphire, jezebel (sp) and the mammy. And for J. fox and Martin to make this ridiculous movie just boils my blood! You don't have enough talent to be funny without castigating, and denigrating bw? It sort of reminds me of really talented comedian's can always make you laugh without getting raunchy. I remember watching (think it was Andy Bumatai) and he was really funny, and he was talking about eggs! Yet, if you've ever watched Def Jam or programs of that sort, they always have to pander to the base instinct of the public, because they know they lack the talent to funny without degradation, and filth. We tried to watch one the other night, but we had to turn in disgust. But it was a Martin Lawrence spec. And Magic was there with his wife. The bm comedian's were so filthy and disgusting that they called Magic's wife a B*tch right in front of him! In fact they constantly referred to the women in audience as b*tches and hoes! There was also several bm in front with ww. One comedian told one of the ww to stand up and clap for her bm boyfriend. She did so, he immediately told her bf: "Now if I can yo b*tch to stand up that easily, she'll go down for me just as easily!" Everyone laughed, but we were soooo disgusted-we were flabbergasted. And when I looked at the wg's face, although she appeared to be laughing, I could see that she was hurt. Her man had said nothing, and laughed when this guy called her a b, and implied that she was a slut, who would go 'down' on him at the drop of a hat! Basically, if I were her, I would have walked out. I just don't find disrespect, debasement, and defamation funny at all!

Anonymous said...

@ cool_splash1,

Yes, there are a few bwood movies here and there that are OK. IMO, their movies are mostly colorist and there is a certain amount of misogyny in the story lines.

LOL...this is still a semi-free country(USA) and that was my opinion you do not have to agree with me. I will not take it personally.

Yes, I can make a list of Hollywood movies that suck big time.

However, please do not write back about bwood movies. To be honest I really do not care one way or the other. Enjoy your day Cool.

ANN

Anonymous said...

"You don't have enough talent to be funny without castigating, and denigrating bw?"

That is exactly what Bill Cosby is trying to say. You can be funny without the profanity. Bill did it for at least 35 or more years and people of all races respect him for his sense of self pride and giving back to society. I began watching Bill on his old show, Eye Spy. The show was well written and Bill did not embrass himself or people of African decent. For the most part he showed respect to all people. The younger celebraties should take note.

A.

cool_splash1 said...

And when I looked at the wg's face, although she appeared to be laughing, I could see that she was hurt. Her man had said nothing, and laughed when this guy called her a b, and implied that she was a slut, who would go 'down' on him at the drop of a hat! Basically, if I were her, I would have walked out. I just don't find disrespect, debasement, and defamation funny at all!

That's because dbrbm won't limit this crap type of behavior with bw they will do it with other women as well. After a while many of these women will move on. I'm seeing this (yes I watch some of those crazy court shows)on court shows like Judge Judy, Divorce court etc. They are burning bridges like there is no tomorrow. If bw stop claiming nothing but a black man their valule will go down so fast they won't know what to do. That's why they are getting on YT asking questions about why are bw passing over bm for wm and other non bm (irony being we asked these questions for years about them)creating sites degrading bw and calling bm to kill bw etc. They know their value will go down.

sky said...

Sara

I know the comedy special your talking about, it was hosted by Cedric the Entertainer for Shaq O'Neal. I particularlly remember when the ww was being laughed at. Most of the people laughing I know were black women who had a problem w/ bm dating/marrying ww. There were a few wm/bw couples up front, but was hardly mentioned/noticed for the camera. I also remembered the guy making jokes about her looks. the bm just sat there and laughed. smh...shows that they are no different when they are w/ ww. geeze these dudes fail to protect. And i wonder if the comedian was doing it for the "sistas" sake so that they could point and laugh, but it failed w/ me.

I remember my father teching me "beind every joke there is truth", many of these "jokes" is another way to vent their fustration of women. For them joking is so different from rapping for these guys. Its one the reasons why i stopped listening to chris rock, even way before he started to back track on bw dating wm.

ak said...

And thing is for me, and I know a lot of blogs have gone over this subject already: the black male comedians who stood up for Don Imus with his 'nappy headed hoes' comment about the Rutgers U. women's basketball team.

I'm sorry to bring up this chestnut but we can't easily forget it even as we're moving on.

You see these black male entertainers -- whether they're comedians, singers, rappers, producers, or actors, were all puton their little Hollywood pedestals in the sky by black people solely for quite a while especially back in the 80s but even in the early 90s. And by 'black people' I mean that both black men AND black women put these black male entertainers up there with their 'votes'.

Back when Dezel Washington was fresh from St. Elsewhere in the 80s as 'just another black face' he had to rely on all of the Spike Lee movies and Ebony/Essence magazine to place him somewhere 'important', and so did actors like Samuel L. Jackson, Laurence Fishburne, Wesley Snipes, and others. And they all had to rely on the help from black women calling them 'sexy' and 'fine upstanding black men' and 'gorgeous' or 'hot' in order for them to cross over. And of course BET viewers.

The Wayans comedians had to use to rap and R & B music and had to use black actors/comedians in order to appeal most black viewers to keep them on FOX for as long as they could with In Living Color.

Will Smith had the good fortune of rap's burgeoning popularity and crossover appeal for him to gain an acting career first with Fresh Prince of Bel Air but definitely for the projects after that. But somebody black usually had to prepare that pedestal in the sky for them.

And now that one or two decades have passed these black male entertainers feel it's OK to hypothetically 'go to the toilet on black women' verbally and very publicly I might add.

I mean to me all DL Hughley had was Comic View and he wasn't even very good on that, who helped him to keep his face in the public eye on any channel, I mean?

And Damon Wayans had is day in the sun so to speak with In Living Color and other projects such as My Wife and Kids, and his sister Kim wears her hair natural these days, but he doesn't stop to think about the disgusting way he's taking up for Don Imus and so publicly?

And look at the rappers and all of their hogwash about how their so 'down' and 'black' and 'real' and malarkey like that, yet they feel it's OK to say 'no dark butts', or to say that only light skinned women or children look pretty, or as I've heard from one blogger say that some rapper called Polow Da Don call himself 'The King OF The White Girls' because he liked the attitude of white women that he was dating better?

To Be Continued....

ak said...

Continued Now...

Yet some silly black woman or bunch of black women will continue to support the bm entertainers they put on their Hollywood pedestal by still buying tickets to their movies, or their LEGAL DVDs, or downloading their songs?

The only time I can remember that I can actually applauding black women for doing something smart for a change was when back in the 90s they took down Wesley Snipes a peg or two when he appeared on the cover of an Ebony that had an interview of him in it where the fool was saying, in a magazine read by black women, that black women act like a difficult bunch of women 'to come home to'. BW finally publicly and vocally let it be known that they didn't have to stand back, listen to or support his mess. I think that that little lesson was why Eriq La Salle on ER decided to publicly tell people that he world only partnered with black SO's on the show. If anything he could get that bit of a boost from BW!

And the only reason why I don't totally hate Chris Rock yet is because he was at least the one black male comedian who called out on black men this time, finally, with their easy acceptance of their low expectations in life and expect a medal for the things that should be normal givens. Back when Chris Rock made the examples of the ridiculous ones who say 'I ain't never been to jail' or 'I take care of my kids'.

But make no mistake, these black male comedians only had black people laughing up a storm at their stand up shows originally and have them to thank for their crossovers including Richard Pryor and Eddie Murphy.

The black male actors have Spike Lee etc., black female viewers and such to thank for having them exalted into their talented, super-blockbuster action/drama slots where they're now seen as sexy, universal, cool and hot, unlike back in the 70s and 80s where black male actors were the lame token black troublemaker, petty thief, or pimp always saying stuff like 'Heeeyyyy mannn!' or they were the token black face of an employee like the black bartender on The Love Boat. Even after Wesley Snipes' little Ebony mess up he still had the Blade trilogy to fall back on!

And as for rap, even some black people didn't like it when it first came to the public forefront from out of the underground! Instead they still preferred R&B or Funk. If it weren't for the white Beastie Boys and a bit of the crossover appeal of Michael Jackson and Run DMC, rap would still be out there dying a death on the 'underground railroad'! And don't forget that MTV solely wanted to play only rock and heavy metal videos in the beginning.

There would be little money making opportunities for rappers if blacks didn't show some love for them, especially their black female fans who for some inexplicble reason were even there for these rappers when B words and H words first came into fashion with the genre.

Now look at Tyler Perry, and I don't care whther his movies or plays have Madea in them or not, the first thing Tyler does is vilify the hard-working, college educated black women. That's the thanks these BW get after their parents made them bust their buns in college to gain better opportunities for themselves so that they would have to rely on financial hand out from you or me? That's the thanks the BW who actually try hard get for trying to look like 'fine upstanding black people trying to lead their people into the future'?

But now like I said a decade or two has passed and all of these BM who have made it in Hollywood and in the world stage of mainstream international media now feel like they can take down their pants in front of us and show us their rears like they're about to 'go'! Shameless.

Taylor-Sara said...

You're right Sky, I meant Shaq, not Magic. And I didn't laugh either at the wg. I don't think ANY woman should be disrespected this way. That was not cute! That was ignorant. But you know my deceased Grandmother always used to say: 'Watch how he treats his past women-cause that's the way he'll treat you!' And I've always found that to be true. Men are very patternistic. They always stay true to their ways. I remember someone in my family, laughing because she was with someone who hated his ex. She thought it was so funny that while the divorce was going through, his wife would call and beg him to give her money for THEIR children. I thought that was horrible, and I told her so. She didn't want to hear it. She insisted the divorce was all his wife's fault, therefore, she deserved to 'suffer' Well, a year later she married him, and less than 4 years later THEY were getting divorced. He immediately closed all the accounts, took back the car (which he had put in his name) Moved out, and refused to help with any bills, while the divorce was pending, and got a new gf. Whenever she called asking for help, she could hear his near gf in the background giggling as he told her (loud enough for her to hear) that his wife was 'begging' for money like a dog!...smh...

ak said...

Sorry guys! You may have to wade through my embarassing spelling mistakes up there LOL

I mean to say:

You see these black male entertainers -- whether they're comedians, singers, rappers, producers, or actors, were all put on their little Hollywood pedestals in the sky by black people solely for quite a while especially back in the 80s but even in the early 90s. And by 'black people' I mean that both black men AND black women put these black male entertainers up there with their 'votes'.

Back when Denzel Washington was fresh from St. Elsewhere in the 80s as 'just another black face' he had to rely on all of the Spike Lee movies and Ebony/Essence magazine to place him somewhere 'important', and so did actors like Samuel L. Jackson, Laurence Fishburne, Wesley Snipes, and others. And they all had to rely on the help from black women calling them 'sexy' and 'fine upstanding black men' and 'gorgeous' or 'hot' in order for them to cross over. And of course the BET viewers.

The only time I can remember that I can actually applauding black women for doing something smart for a change was when back in the 90s they took down Wesley Snipes a peg or two when he appeared on the cover of an Ebony that had an interview of him in it where the fool was saying, in a magazine read by black women, that black women act like a difficult bunch of women 'to come home to'. BW finally publicly and vocally let it be known that they didn't have to stand back, listen to or support his mess. I think that that little lesson was why Eriq La Salle on ER decided to publicly tell people that he would only be partnered with black significant others on the show. If anything he could get that bit of a boost from BW!

And the only reason why I don't totally hate Chris Rock yet is because he was at least the one black male comedian who called out on black men this time finally, regarding their easy acceptance of their low expectations in life and expecting a medal for the things that should be normal givens. Back when Chris Rock made the examples of the ridiculous ones who say 'I ain't never been to jail' or 'I take care of my kids'.

Now look at Tyler Perry, and I don't care whether his movies or plays have Madea in them or not, the first thing Tyler does is vilify the hard-working, college educated black women. That's the thanks these BW get after their parents made them bust their buns in college to gain better opportunities for themselves so that they wouldn't have to rely on financial hand out from you or me? That's the thanks the BW who actually try hard get for trying to look like 'fine upstanding black people trying to lead their people into the future'?

THERE! I think that's all of my spelling mistakes, with trying to rush things, now CORRECTED! LOL

ak said...

I have more LOL:

And Damon Wayans had his day in the sun so to speak with In Living Color and other projects such as My Wife and Kids, and his sister Kim wears her hair natural these days, but he doesn't stop to think about the disgusting way he's taking up for Don Imus and so publicly?


The only time I can remember that I can actually applaud black women for doing something smart for a change was when back in the 90s they took down Wesley Snipes a peg or two when he appeared on the cover of an Ebony that had an interview of him in it where the fool was saying, in a magazine read by black women, that black women act like a difficult bunch of women 'to come home to'. BW finally publicly and vocally let it be known that they didn't have to stand back, listen to or support his mess. I think that that little lesson was why Eriq La Salle on ER decided to publicly tell people that he would only be partnered with black significant others on the show. If anything he could get that bit of a boost from BW!


There Gosh I hope that that's it! LOL

ak said...

I hope I'm over my embarassing spelling mistakes now but as a sort of part three to what I was saying, look at Diana Ross, Whoopi Goldberg, and Grace Jones.

These three black women are known for having WM in their personal lives quite alot, but do they ever refer to themselves as 'Queen of The White Men'? Do they have to put down everybody else just to lift themselves up once they 'got up there' or 'got out there'?

Many years have passed and those three still have their respect, and gain respect, and STILL have their crossover appeal intact.

Anonymous said...

@ Sara,
What goes around comes around.

a.

Anonymous said...

"
3. I've seen bw profess the beauty of other woc (in an attempt to sly ww). If many of these stupid bw knew what those woc thought about bw's beauty in general, they would shut up. As a black woman, u have better chance of being cast/seen as beautiful in white constructs than u do in Asian (oriental) or Indian (Desi) constructs. In those communities, the blacker/darker u are, the less beautiful u r considered irresepctive of how beautiful u actually are."

I disagree with this. In Japan, youth are currently kinky-perming their hair. You can buy t-shirts there that say "I Love Black People." Vera Wang just made Zoe Kravitz her spokesmodel for her new perfume. No one is as obsessed with themselves as white women are.


- Jen.

Taylor-Sara said...

Anon. I'm sorry. I had to delete you. I don't want that particular site mentioned on my blog....

Anonymous said...

The natural thing is for the men of a group to protect and provide for the women of the group.

Domestic abuse, rape, etc. is rampant in African countries. Middle Eastern women are almost in bondage and are punished for being raped. White men will do nothing while other men brutalize their women. Chinese females are being exterminated.

Seems that only Hispanic men protect their women.

Halima said...

The only time I can remember that I can actually applauding black women for doing something smart for a change was when back in the 90s they took down Wesley Snipes a peg or two when he appeared on the cover of an Ebony that had an interview of him in it where the fool was saying, in a magazine read by black women, that black women act like a difficult bunch of women 'to come home to'. BW finally publicly and vocally let it be known that they didn't have to stand back, listen to or support his mess. I think that that little lesson was why Eriq La Salle on ER decided to publicly tell people that he world only partnered with black SO's on the show. If anything he could get that bit of a boost from BW!

Ak you have made such an important point, when bw refuse to honor themselves no one honors them. You honor yourself by dealing heavy blows on whoever (and I mean whoever) will ‘mess’ with you. Its so simple no one needs to be taught this basic dynamic of human interaction that is except bw.

Essentially bw have rewarded bm for po** on them and then they turn round and wonder why their honor is besmirched left right and center. SMH have you ever seen a clearly confused bunch of women who cant make the clear connection between their situation at the hands of bm now and their unconditional approval and support of them.

Everyone 'tests' boundries and need 'reminders' to not get ideas. what happened is that bm tested the boundaries and found no one awake and ready to take them down for their mess on bw. Any wonder the proliferation of bw image-defilers among bm.

When this, ‘always try to support a brother’ or ‘don’t be too hard on a brother’ mantra took over it spelled death for bw’s image. Our young girls need to be taught a new mantra, that ‘you must never love bm more than you love yourself’ or ‘love your community more than you love and care for yourself’.

BW sent a clear message to the likes of Wesley snipes then, I wonder what happened and why they decided to be less vigilante and soft on brothers after, and the rewards are with us. Unconditional love and support and giving black men blank cheques over our image and how to present it has lead to this disgraceful situation.

You have to be willing to slay anyone to protect your image because even allowinging the smallest hole in the dam and the next thing, the whole structure comes down (ask the Netherlanders)

And you are right ak, it is the infrastructure of the love and support and protection and efforts of bw that are holding up these black male entertainers and their mess. If only bw organized and pulled the plug…..

Supposing I wanted to Date a White Guy...?

Halima said...

And to add, for those who think this all rests on bw comporting themselves on TV and etc, you really dont know how this all works! there is no group of women who dont have their negative 'elements'. None.

If you make a casting call for ww who fight and beat on men, you will get them aplenty. Same goes for asian women, therefore it is not about bw restraining themselves etc because it is neigh impossible to control everyone in any group, there will always be those who will act in ways that are not helpful especially for money or fame. this rests with those casting for roles and the fact that they should stop the practice of zeroing in on bw to play these awful parts.

Yes we are hardly going to get them agreeing to our request to stop negative-casting bw, but we need to realize that this is where the problem is, not with bw who like every other group has their 'elements'.

Supposing I wanted to Date a White Guy...?

ak said...

WM do nothing about WW? Is that why there was a backlash and a reprimand against Jamie Foxx about what he said about Miley Cyrus? Or the reprimand David Letterman got when he said something about Sarah Palin's pregnant daughter? Or the reprimand or grumblings Kanye got when he interrupted Taylor Swift?

Is that why John Walsh's America's Most Wanted is still on the air? Because the WM don't care when a WW or girl goes missing or is raped and/or murdered? Is that why the news or programmes that come on after the news like 60 Minutes, 60 Minutes II, Dateline, or the long-cancelled 48 Hours devoted from 30 minutes to an hour to cases of WW or girls missing or is raped and/or murdered?

They get the word out to the media for their women and the cops definitely go a-huntin' for em! And the cops ask everybody if they've seen Becky Sue or someone who looks like her.

I mean look at all the senseless spending of taxpayers' money and cops' time trying to find that Runaway Bride in Georgia five years ago who just willingly decided to run away and in disguise at that.

Anonymous said...

anonymous...no name you do not deserve an answer.


a.

Foxycleopatra said...

"3. I've seen bw profess the beauty of other woc (in an attempt to sly ww). If many of these stupid bw knew what those woc thought about bw's beauty in general, they would shut up. As a black woman, u have better chance of being cast/seen as beautiful in white constructs than u do in Asian (oriental) or Indian (Desi) constructs. In those communities, the blacker/darker u are, the less beautiful u r considered irresepctive of how beautiful u actually are."

I disagree with this. In Japan, youth are currently kinky-perming their hair. You can buy t-shirts there that say "I Love Black People." Vera Wang just made Zoe Kravitz her spokesmodel for her new perfume. No one is as obsessed with themselves as white women are.

---------------------------------

So what?
That's like saying 'u see white pple with dreadlocks or curly fros'. There are white pple who love black ppl too.

As for Vera Wang, don't even get me started on her. This is a designer who was called out by Vogue magazine for REFUSING to use black models in her shows and spreads. For a magazine like Vogue to lecture you on racial diversity, u must really be doing it bad! This woman would cast, white, latina, Asian, Indian, middle eastern etc but would adamantly refuse to cast black models and you want to be calling her name in this conversation? After the Vogue incident, She was reported (apparently) as indicating that she would not mind mixed-race but not black. So don't expect me to give her props now cause she has decided to use a mixed-race model. That woman is a racist and a bigot as far as I am concerned. If foolish black women decide to line her account with ther hard earned money, that's their own problem. There are several Asian designers who would happily cast black models in their shows and spreads. Vera Wang surely isn't one of them.

Secondly, let's assume your whole comment is infact accurate, how does it negate my comment when I said:

"As a black woman, u have better chance of being cast/seen as beautiful in white constructs than u do in Asian (oriental) or Indian (Desi) constructs. In those communities, the blacker/darker u are, the less beautiful u r considered irresepctive of how beautiful u actually are."

In Malaysia, ethnic Malays (they have sort of an Indian or Sri Lankan look) ARE NOT cast any where near as often as the more Chinese looking models although the ethnic Malays are the majority. The most used models are the more European looking ones (i.e. are of mixed Chinese and white heritage), then the more Chinese looking ones.


Lastly, as for this part of your comment:
"No one is as obsessed with themselves as white women are."...........I am lost as to what that has or doesn't have to do with me or anything I said in my comment. My comment was about black women taking up other ppls issues when they are dealing with worse and championing pple who do not champion them. I never said anything about ww being obsessed or not being obsessed with themselves. I don't even understand how that comes into any conversation I was having.

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