Total Pageviews

Friday, July 3, 2009

Wow! --- and they call BW gold diggers!!!..........






Linda Hamilton, and Heather Mills. Two women who got very big divorce settlements for very short marriages. Below: Lionel Richie and second wife-Diane










Why is it that bw are so often called gold diggers??? That question really intrigues me especially sense 70% of the wealth of all AAs, resides with BLACK WOMEN!

I have seen bw called gold diggers for asking men to help with the bills, asking them to take them out once in a while, and even for asking them to help pay for THEIR children!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I had to post on this because even the media will often call bw gold diggers (or they'll strongly imply it. Case in point, when Mike Tyson was divorcing Robyn Givens, the media often called her a gold digger, and claimed that she was arrogant, bitchy, overzealous in her need for control, and money grubbing. She was vilified in the press, and slandered repeatedly. She was so maligned the Enquirer at the time was calling her the most hated woman in America, and polls showed that 97% of the ppl felt that she should not get one dime in a divorce settlement! 97%! That's how effective the media was at portraying this woman as a gold digging, celebrity chasing tramp. You see them doing the same thing to Tameka Foster these days (Usher's soon to be Ex) She is also constantly vilified and crucified in the press. She is portrayed as a hood rat who chased and cornered a naive, highly talented rich singer. And somehow got her blackened fingers into him..... This is soooooo crazy because so often the REAL gold diggers are ignored while everyone is concentrating on bw who have the audacity to marry a man with money. The media will often hound and hunt down bw who have the temerity to marry up regardless of the man's race, and regardless of how much she herself brought to the table. But will often IGNORE ww who come to the table with practically nothing and demand large exorbitant paydays for short obligatory marriages. Case in point, do you know what the media said when Tiger Woods married Elin? They said she was mega-hot and he was lucky to get her!!! Lucky to get her!! Are you kidding me? She was a nanny (regardless of how they claim she was a top model -that's bull, she just had some swim suit pics) The truth is, she was the nanny of another golfer, and had practically no assets of which to speak, and yet when she marries a multi-millionaire world famous golfer, the media claims --HE WAS LUCKY TO GET HER!!!--- Lord have mercy! Can you imagine the furor if the situation had been reversed, and she was a blk nanny who married an international world famous rich white golfer??? The papers would have ripped her apart, and we all know it. But have you noticed that when it's obvious the woman is a gold digger, but is NOT black, the media is extremely reluctant to call her what she is.--- (Not saying that Elin is-just that she would be called one if she were black)---It seems, if said woman is white, she is almost never referred to in a negative fashion or accused of being avaricious, and opportunistic. I'll give a few examples of what I mean. Notice how of all 3 cases, these women are almost given license to fleece the men they CLAIMED to love! With the media practically defending them!

Farm Sanctuary's..
Read more

LONDON — Heather Mills was a less than candid court witness whose $250 million divorce claim was exorbitant, a judge said in his ruling on her divorce from Paul McCartney.
The judgment by Hugh Bennett was released Tuesday, after a court rejected Mills' attempt to block publication.
On Monday, Bennett awarded Mills a $48.6 million divorce settlement after her four-year marriage to the former Beatle. Mills had sought almost $250 million, while McCartney had offered $31.6 million, including Mills' own assets.
In his ruling, the judge said Mills' claim "is and was unreasonable, indeed exorbitant."
He also said Mills' evidence was "not just inconsistent and inaccurate but also less than candid. Overall she was a less than impressive witness."
McCartney's lawyers didn't object to publication, but Mills claimed details in the ruling could compromise the security of her 4-year-old daughter Beatrice.
"Miss Mills believes her daughter will be put in real danger. It is most disturbing," said lawyer David Rosen, who represented Mills in court. She did not attend the hearing.
Mills, 40, walked away from court with a settlement worth about $34,000 for every day of her marriage to the 65-year-old McCartney. But it was only a fifth of what she had sought and a fraction of McCartney's $800 million fortune.
Mills declared that she was "very, very, very pleased."
The settlement included a lump sum of $33 million, plus the assets Mills currently holds worth $15.6 million.
Some legal experts were surprised the former model did not get more.
To me this is blatant gold digging of the highest order. Where does she get the nerve to ask for 250 million dollars??? She was married to this man for less than 4 years!!! He worked his whole life to make this fortune. Why should someone come in and be entitled to it because she was married to him for four years!!!
Then she tries to block publication of her outrageous requests because she does not want everyone to know just how greedy she really is.....


MARCH 2--Five months after filing for divorce from Lionel Richie, the singer's estranged wife has just weighed in with a whopping--and remarkably detailed--demand for at least $300,000 in monthly support payments. According to Diane Richie, 37, the couple has led an "extraordinary extravagant lifestyle" and that she had "no limit on what I could spend," according to the below Los Angeles Superior Court declaration filed last week. The Richie's, who wed in December 1996 and have two young children, live in a $40 million Beverly Hills mansion, with its 30 rooms spread over 18,000 square feet. "In addition to nine full time staff members, we also employ people to maintain our plants, detail our cars, care for our pool, groom our dog, maintain our aquarium and a painter for regular touch ups on the house," noted Richie. She also made sure to point out particular monthly expenses that Lionel, 54, needs to cover: clothing, shoes, and accessories ($15,000); dermatology ($3000); laser hair removal ($1000); massages ($600); jewelry ($5000); gifts ($5000); and vitamins ($500). There are plenty of other costs Richie listed--like $20,000 annually for plastic surgery and her nine-year-old son's $125,000 boarding school tuition--but TSG will let you discover those chestnuts. According to Richie, she began dating the pop star in 1984, when they met at the Summer Olympics in Los Angeles (she was an 18-year-old dancer). Since those teen days, the performer "paid my rent and/or mortgage, purchased automobiles for me, and regularly bought me expensive gifts," recalled Richie....
More gold digging, First of all, she stole him from another woman (Brenda) and then she cheats on him, while demanding that he take care of her in the style to which she has become accustomed! I would think that a woman voluntarily surrenders up that life style when she begins to have an affair!

James Cameron & Linda Hamilton -- (more than) $50 million James Cameron is the visionary filmmaker who gave the world grand Hollywood spectacles like the first two Terminator movies, in which Linda Hamilton starred, True Lies , and Titanic . The romance between the two reportedly began on the set of T2 in 1991, although they only got married in July 1997. But at that time, Titanic was released and Cameron apparently spent more time with one of his stars, Suzy Amis, than with his wife. During their 17-month marriage, which produced a daughter, they were separated for eight months. Cameron, whom Hamilton describes as an "absolutely miserable, miserable, unhappy man," was forced to give her more than half his revenues from Titanic -- over $50 million -- in 1999.W
I think this proves my point. Why in the world is a woman entitled to 50 million dollars for a 17 month marriage!!

This is what I mean. if you research any of these cases ( or many more) on the Internet, you will see that ww are given card blanch to rake men over the coals, while bw are expected to walk away with nothing regardless of how many years said couple is married. I am NOT saying that all ww are gold diggers or that all bw are innocent. Not at all-we all know that's not true. But what I am saying is that even when it's blatantly shown that SOME ww ARE gold diggers, they are never called this, and instead are excused, pampered, and protected. Lionel's first wife (bw) got almost nothing. Yet his second wife expects him to accommodate an extravagant lifestyle (she only lived because of him) for the rest of her life- regardless of the fact that she admitted to a long term and ongoing affair! The point is, when ppl call bw gold diggers -they really have no idea what an actual gold digger is, and even when they do, they are extremely reluctant to actually use the term, in connection with women who are not black....

So I want to be clear. I want bw to understand that wanting a better man is natural, that is not gold digging (because some women get it confused.) Wanting a man who is prosperous and can take care of his offspring is prudent, not gold digging. There is NOTHING wrong with that, and you should be trying to marry UP rather than down. I merely wanted to point out to bw the difference between wanting more, and being a gd. Wanting a man who has more and can do more is common sense. Asking for 250 million dollars after you've been married to someone for 4 years is Gold digging-there is a distinct difference. So absolutely want more, look for more, and marry more (up) don't allow the world or the bc-and the cartoon characters in it- to fool you anymore into thinking that you should be marrying down, and 'helping a brotha out!' Look for men who can definitely elevate you to a better life, and understand that only rapacious greed makes a gold digger, not simply wanting more, and wanting more for one's children.....

127 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yeah,ww and even some non-bw get away with so much ish.They can do no wrong.It's not fair but then again there's not much I can do but hold my head up high and move on with life.As a BW I think I've been called almost everything bad in this world and it can get very tough sometimes but life goes on right?

sky said...

thanks for posting this sara. it needed to be said. if people want to call me a gold-digger for wanting something better, so be it. At least at the end of the day I'm happy with my choice.

Moorena said...

sky said...
thanks for posting this sara. it needed to be said. if people want to call me a gold-digger for wanting something better, so be it. At least at the end of the day I'm happy with my choice.

That's what it boils down to. I don't give a hill of beans what they say or think about me because I marry a man with substance.

Aphrodite said...

It has taken me a while to get accustomed to what is normal and expected when it comes to men/husbands and money.

I was fully indoctrinated with the anything above you getting it yourself is considered gold-digging.

Now in considering how intimately a woman's fortunes are tied to a man's during his life and even in the event he passes - I feel very differently.

If a guy doesn't show me consideration from the start then I move on.

American Black Chick in London said...

Just another viewpoint: I was living in London when the Heather Mills and Paul McCartney first started the divorce proceedings and I can tell you the press called her every name in the book, gold digger and whore being two of the nicer ones. I did notice that the US press didn't really attack her in the same way the UK press did though. I still think the amount of money Heather Mills got was ridiculous.

In the case of Linda Hamilton, she was rewarded half the money James Cameron made on Titanic because that was income earned during the marriage and as such liable to a 50/50 split. Although, again, I don't remember there being much negative press around her either...but that might have been because James Cameron cheated on her.

This is an interesting post...it's given me some stuff to mull over.

Halima said...

Thanks for this blistering one sara.

Just a few thoughts

I think bw have begun to open their eyes to the fact that society is invested in keeping them from accessing circles of power and influence.

But if bw became fully aware of the full scale social machinery deployed to ensure they remain on the outskirts of power and wealth, they would be upset.

We have talked about image and stereotypes but there is also psychological conditioning of bw themselves to keep right away from wealthy men and then the general 'sustaining' of the notion that a bw with wealthy men is kinda 'off' and not the proper way things should be.

When this notion is widely circulated and believed, you get people 'acting up' concerning bw and wealthy men, something they wouldn't even think to do with ww etc because they believe they are the rightful women for such men.

Indeed it is the underlying notion that bw are unworthy of wealth and the attendant pampering and ease of life that triggers these biased reactions.

However another key issues here is bw themselves; bw and their need to be good and approved of women.

bw come under an overwhelming, self imposed need to be seen as 'righteous' and to be 'Miss morality'. This urge plays straight into the hands of those who deem them as unworthy of wealthy men. Our need to be 'good women' intersects with others perception of us as unworthy to keep us where they want us.

So many times on these IR blogs, i watch bw get into 'morality' arguments with each other. They are under great pains to force their every action to align with strict moral codes, SMH.

Bw get into a frenzy over 'how not to do this and how not to do that'. lol!

Ok some see this overt moralism as a response to our particular positioning by society as the antithesis of pure and good womanhood, however when bw respond to this pressure by being overtly moral, overtly churchous etc, they restrict themselves and enable these ideas to remain unchallenged in the general mind.

Supposing I wanted to Date a White Guy...?

Anonymous said...

I totally agree w/this and have seen it for some time. The larger society doesn't want to see a man invest his wealth in a black woman and her descendants. Everyone wants to suck the wealth out of the black community not invest any in it. Black men are MORE than TOO HAPPY to invest their weatlh ANYWHERE ELSE other than "home".

Anonymous said...

I think by nature women are gold diggers regardless of race, class, ethnicity, etc. I don't know if gold digger is the right word but it is the only word that I can think of. I don't look at gold digging necessarly bad, I think it depends on the situation. Women have always sought men that will make taking care of them and kids easier. Women marrying up. This dates back to early human history. To me this is gold digging but it is not bad because it was necessary for the survival of women. Women that that go overboard to me is when gold digging is bad. If you are with someone that you would not be with if they did not have money or prestige is when I think gold digging is a problem. The money and prestige should be a bonus.

But ww are no different than bw. What do you think ww are doing when they say they want to marry a doctor, lawyer, or engineer? Gold digging! She wants someone that can take care of her. I think the stereotype that bw are gold diggers comes from ghetto bw. The bw that are more outspoken about having a man that has a car or getting her nails done, etc. Often the most negative things about blk people are portrayed in the media as how black people act. Imagine if the actions of trailer trash white people was the image that the media portrayed about white people instead of the surburban life that we are feed. We would have far different opinion about them. I would imagine most the women on this site are more like the gold digging ww who want lawyers and doctors or men that are equal or slightly more successful as mates which I think is completely normal.

Zabeth said...

Excellent post Sarah!

Lena said...

How am I a gold-digger for wanting a husband who provides financial stability? I don't want a man who's up to his ears in back-child support or who isn't gainfully employed.

The certain white women you discussed in this blog Sara are definitely gold-diggers but our society won't call them that because they're white and female someone get me a barf-bag!

How am I materialistic for wanting the same things any other woman would want?

That gold-digger stereotype is nonsense because there are just as many non-white and non-black gold diggers!

Taylor-Sara said...

Of course not lena. That's the whole point. Of couse you should look for men who have their 'stuff' together. If you read the last part, that's what I was saying, that you should look for men who can elevate you. What makes a woman a gd, is the rapacious greed, not caring who gets hurt, (as long as she gets what she wants) and total disregard for morality... I would advise EVERY bw to look for more, expect more, and not settle for a man who cannot give her more. After all if you live in a homeless shelter. A man with a decent apt. is a step up. But if you live in a beautiful, commodious 4 bd house, a man with a decent apt. is a step DOWN.... Don't go down-ever

Anonymous said...

Thank you Taylor-Sara for highlighting another aspect of this bias against us! I remember the Robin Given case from 1989 very well! I was a teenage girl at the time, and I remember walking into a newsstand and seeing Robin on the cover of essence with the headline: THE MOST HATED WOMAN IN AMERICA. I wondered to myself, "Why do people hate HER? She didn't do anything!" It burned me up then, and it still burns me up now! These stupid ppl who call us gold diggers, well for their stupid information, most of the time you see a Black female with nice clothes, a nice car, nice house or apartment, she bought those things HERSELF, with her OWN money that SHE earned since we DON'T have partners who love us like these White women! So there!

Moorena said...

Women marrying up. This dates back to early human history. To me this is gold digging but it is not bad because it was necessary for the survival of women.


The term is women looking for a provider. it is called marrying up or marrying smart. Gold digging is indicative of wanting the man simply for his money and nothing else.

Lena said...

Sara I was just questioning the racist and sexist bias against black women with my musings. I don't feel sorry for famous rich black men who get taken to the cleaners by their white ex-wives!
That is especially true if those same black men spew and believe those sexist stereotypes about black women!
I see it as them getting their just desserts!

Taylor-Sara said...

And to the guy (?) who believes all women are gold diggers. Tell me what do you call Guy Richie (Madonna's husband) who is taking her for 92 million dollars? What do you call Halle's ex (Bonet) who cheated with everything that moved, and then had the nerve to sue for her house 25k per month and other expenses... And Janet J. had to pay her second husband 15 mil just so he would not contest the divorce. Men can def. be gold diggers too. In fact in the bc, the gold digger is FAR MORE LIKELY to be the man!

Pamela said...

A real man desires to bring a woman up in the financial area and feels really bad when he is not able to do it. Those that call a woman a gold-digger just for wanting a man that is a good provider has another vile agenda, especially when it comes to bw. Any woman that wants a real man should be applauded and encouraged to seek those men out. However bw that do so better have nerves of steel because she will be unfairly accused for doing so. We should be used to it by now and just do what we want. In the end we will be the happy ones, not the nay-sayers.

S said...

BW are gold diggers, huh? Yeah right.
BW earn more money than BM, are more educated than BM on average,so please do tell me how WE are gold diggers when most of the time when i observe BW/BM relationships, it's the woman paying for all the shit (dinner,clothes,raising the kids etc).
If anything, it's most BM who are gold diggers and everyone knows it except for BM.

T-Star said...

T-star say's
There's good and bad in everybody guys, in every ethnic group, it's just that you have to block out the negitive thing's people say about you, they do it to left themself up, I don't seem to understand is out an intire race of wamen?

Anonymous said...

Actually S, black men still on average earn more money than black women.

Sophisticatedblkwoman said...

Sara this is a really good post. Thank you for saying it loud and proud. I've always wondered the same thing and find it very hard to believe bw are the gold-diggers for many obvious reason. I totally agree the real gold diggers(that really don't include black women) from my observations aren't called out on it at all even if their not undercover with it. What a shame! The good thing is there are people out here like many of us on this blog and white males like Harry Potter, who tell it like it is.(exhaling)

Sophisticatedblkwoman said...

"After all if you live in a homeless shelter. A man with a decent apt. is a step up. But if you live in a beautiful, commodious 4 bd house, a man with a decent apt. is a step DOWN.... Don't go down-ever'

EXACTLY!! Sara you may be surprised (or maybe not) when I note so many bw don't get this. How irritating!

Francis said...

Well, the thing about Robin Givens is that it seems clear that she married a man not compatible with her as well as a man she didn't like. Same for Anna Nichole Smith. Getting a big settlement after marriage doesn't particularly make you a gold digger if you and your husband seemed generally compatible from the start.

From what I have read and observed, in the black community, it is those black men who are of means who promote the gold digger stereotype. In the deep ghettos, black women there don't expect much from the men. In middle class black America, the gold digger stereotype of black women has a basis.

As studies have shown, black women tend to have poor spending habits and when in relationships with men of means, tend to want the men to contribute to these poor spending habits. Combine this with black women's more aggressive style and their tendency to be more openly demanding, and you fuel the "gold digger" stereotype. In other words, black women are more open to demanding that their men spend money on them whereas white women put more emphasis on motivating their men to spend money on them.

Another thing is that black women (and black people) tend to be "for now" people. In other words, a black woman is more likely to look for a man who has financial comfort NOW as opposed to having financial POTENTIAL. A man with financial potential does not exude this and often give the appearance of an average Joe. On the other hand, men with big money currently exude this and women who date them are far more likely to seem like gold diggers. This is why so many black women date drug dealers, because emphasis is placed on what they have currently and not on what they will have in the future (most drug dealers lose their money and freedom eventually).

Note that Michelle Obama doesn't and probably never has been looked at as a gold digger. Barack had potential when they dated, but gave the appearance of a big eared, broke community organizer. Michelle was future oriented in her selection and it paid off.

Anonymous said...

Question. If it is ok to say that women should marry up and real men should be the one's who uplift women financially, etc. etc., why can't I say that real women should be submissive and cater to the husbands whims? Why are there such double standards with regard to gender roles?

Aphrodite said...

@ Anon

"Actually S, black men still on average earn more money than black women."


Currently this may be true, but the point is BM do not contribute or share what they do have with BW or children unless forced to do so by a court of law. Now BM do however willing contribute to the financial well being of non-blacks and their offspring - even in some instances if they are not biologically his.

Which is the point of this post- encouraging BW to unashamedly choose men who are willing and able to uplift you and your children financially.



As far as BM out earning BW in the future I don't think that will last long or even in regards to men out earning women period.

Everything I am learning in grad school points to another major shift in the workplace landscape away from manual/technical to knowledge based workers. Everything that can be outsourced, sent overseas or automated is and will be in the future.

It is drummed constantly in our heads about the value of relationships, emotions, right brain thinking skills, and the value of EQ - so much so that I though I was in a psych class.

Since some segments of the BM population refuse to see the writing on the wall and refuse to complete their educations and to pursue advanced degrees - these people are going to be left behind.

Aphrodite said...

Hello Francis,

"As studies have shown, black women tend to have poor spending habits and when in relationships with men of means, tend to want the men to contribute to these poor spending habits. Combine this with black women's more aggressive style and their tendency to be more openly demanding, and you fuel the "gold digger" stereotype. In other words, black women are more open to demanding that their men spend money on them whereas white women put more emphasis on motivating their men to spend money on them."



What studies and by whom?

It is my understanding that all Americans have poor spending habits. Or else there wouldn't be that much debt floating around and we wouldn't be in the collective credit mess that is happening now.


I need more clarification on what you said. What constitutes poor spending habits to you?


Sara provided this list of monthly expenses that Mrs Ritchie is seeking - and the emphasis is on monthly:

" clothing, shoes, and accessories ($15,000); dermatology ($3000); laser hair removal ($1000); massages ($600); jewelry ($5000); gifts ($5000); and vitamins ($500). There are plenty of other costs Richie listed--like $20,000 annually for plastic surgery ....

Since those teen days, the performer "paid my rent and/or mortgage, purchased automobiles for me, and regularly bought me expensive gifts," recalled Richie...."



Would that be considered poor spending habits? And she definitely doesn't sound like she is "motivating him" to take care of this- that sounds like a demand to me. And she probably will get it met ...

Aphrodite said...

I personally only need about less than 1/8 of that. And in some ways I don't consider that unreasonable. I mean they were in the fast lane, he wanted a high maintenance phoine woman and there is a price tag attached... and on some level I think that men should assist in the upkeep of their women.

They enjoy the benefits of that upkeep- why not? Pedicures,gym memberships, facials, clothes, and hair upkeep don't grow on trees. If a man wants arm candy then it comes with a tag attached. Sure I can do it by myself, but if a guy is there and is getting the benefits then I shouldn't have to ask.


When you say more aggressive and openly demanding - I don't get it bc BW are notorious for picking up a brotha and dusting him off. Not only that, but many BW will even fail to take a guy to court over child support when they have every right to. So I need more from you.


Also I am of the mind if a guy is sexing you need to get something out of the deal. This statement is no reflection on Sara or the other women here, but this is how I have come to personally feel.


Although I am celibate, have been for a long time and am dating with marriage in mind, if I found myself in a situation where I just royally messed up - I am not going to let a man sex me without him caring for me in a consistent solid tangible way.


Men are upfront about wanting sex what is wrong with a woman countering with her own terms- especially since she has the most burdens to bear? Most people who don't like the terms move on. Not sit around and whine.



"Another thing is that black women (and black people) tend to be "for now" people. In other words, a black woman is more likely to look for a man who has financial comfort NOW as opposed to having financial POTENTIAL. A man with financial potential does not exude this and often give the appearance of an average Joe. On the other hand, men with big money currently exude this and women who date them are far more likely to seem like gold diggers. This is why so many black women date drug dealers, because emphasis is placed on what they have currently and not on what they will have in the future (most drug dealers lose their money and freedom eventually)."


Another stereotype.

Evia and others have made it plain that once you get to a certain age you should have something to show. You can't be 35 talking about potential - if you are a man. A woman who is serious about marriage and family should look for comfort right now. You can't take care of a family on "potential" and once you have a family "potential" gets smaller and smaller because all of your resources become devoted to your children i.e. right now.

There are many people I have met who didn't do x, y, z bc they had a family to take care of and they needed those resources for, you guessed it, "right now" instead of investing in chasing a "potential" dream.


I disagree. I think a man with real potential will exude just that. Someone who knows they are going somewhere and has much to offer will exude that level of confidence as if they have arrived. You can tell when someone has it together and when they don't.


I am not even going to respond to the drug dealer comment bc it is too ridiculous and doesn't even fit at this blog.


I tell you what, bc I think you are a troll.

You start telling men to date women with potential. Go for the nerdy girl, the one who is overweight, the one whose teeth are not so good, the one whose hair is a little unkempt, or whose skin is a little messed up, the one who dresses kinda dowdy and frumpy, the one who may have birds of paradise colored hair, or 3" rhinestone covered nails, might be a little loud, can't pronounce all her words right, who didn't graduate high school, might have a kid (one's not so bad right?) and works at Church's Chicken for a living and then report back the results ok.

Aphrodite said...

Francis you can't even put Barak in this equation at all. When I meet a broke man from Harvard LOL I will get back at cha!

Most BM barely graduated high school and are broke and will stay that way as they are content to be in that condition. I can't recall the number of times when I was in undergrad and I would try to tutor BM "dates" to help them get their GED, put together resumes, critique the outfits they wore to job interviews.

Never again!

Lorraine said...

I loved this post Sara. It is funny how rappers can rap or talk all day long about bw being gold diggers but when those white girls (many times groupies) gets a hold of one and gets pregnant right away to ensure her security for at least 18 years and then divorces (if they marry). These ww are getting paid. Funny there are no raps about this. You can pick an athlete to whom this has happened. Many are not in the media but the same thing is happening.

WWs know what they are doing and their parents go along because they are celebrities or athletes. Who in their right minds would encourage their 18 daughter to date a black, married man? Nicole Brown Simpson's parents and the new cutie Ritchie. I don't feel sorry for them but don't give all the detriment to the sisters when wws are benefitting.

Jean Strahan got more than NY Giant's Michael Strahan made/makes and will be paying until 2026. I think the judge really stuck it to him in favor of the ww, but he was a cheater among other things. Bottom line is that she got even more than their prenump called for. Gold digging in a gold mine and she is not alone.

I remember defending Robin Givens at work and had more bw jump on me than anyone. They tried to dismiss me as if I didn't know what I was talking about but I stood my ground. Thanks again for posting Sarita.

Tracy said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Aphrodite said...

"Question. If it is ok to say that women should marry up and real men should be the one's who uplift women financially, etc. etc., why can't I say that real women should be submissive and cater to the husbands whims? Why are there such double standards with regard to gender roles?"


Whims- I don't understand...

Really anon. Whims?

I get so tired of the whining ...


If I take you at face value then I feel


1. you are stupid


2. women are not toy blow up dolls


3. it is not our job to be your source of manhood bc you suck at competing with other men


4. it is not our fault that you failed at meeting your needs for power, control, and dominance through more widely socially acceptable means - see #3


5. BC we are human beings - see #2


6. BC you are stupid



and you really are if you don't understand that something like that is negotiated between husband and wife. Or that the more a man makes a woman's life easier/happier/more pleasant the more natural/organically arising benefits there are for him and his children.


BW are the most oppressed/submissive Western women there are - who else willingly does everything for their race and the men of their race and get absolutely nothing in return - so much so that they are now losing their lives bc of all they are doing/contributing.


How much more submissive can you get besides I am giving you so much at my expense that I am willing to go to an early grave with a short sad miserable unfulfilled thankless life????


How does this benefit BW anon? How much more submissive can you get? Should BW carry around rugs and just drop and squat in the street on demand?

WTH?? GTFOH!

Join a men's therapy group and work it out k?

Aphrodite said...

@ Halima,


"I think bw have begun to open their eyes to the fact that society is invested in keeping them from accessing circles of power and influence.

But if bw became fully aware of the full scale social machinery deployed to ensure they remain on the outskirts of power and wealth, they would be upset."


This is interesting. I would like to know more about this. I have never heard it stated like this. And there is nothing more that I love doing- than doing something someone says I shouldn't/can't do - especially when they are doing it for themselves.

Taylor-Sara said...

Um.... Tracy. Hon. I would like to know how that question fit into this post?

jess said...

Sorry, I didnt know where to put this question, but did CW get married in FL? I just read one of her tweets on her page that says, "@bfinterracial Thanx for the congratulations…Me and the new hubby are doing well…Still in FL…Wishing my vacation didn’t have to end 1 day ago ”

Pamela said...

So-called studies mean absolutely nothing to me. What I see in my life is all that matters. I could care less what some study that only God knows how it was produced says about ME. Most of it is worthless trash to me. I could care less.

Bottom line: I will do what I can to live the best life I can live within a good moral base. No one can make this decision for me. I must make it. To accomplish this I do not intend to take advantage of anyone. A real man desires to take care of his wife and children financially and hates it when he cannot for some unforeseen reason. They do not have to be told by the woman he loves to do this. It is like in his DNA or inbred in him to do this with joy and pride. Calling someone a gold-digger that wants a real man is stating that they want that women to be with a worthless excuse of a man. It is obvious that this idea is an assignment against bw doing well.

I thank God every day I am dating a real man. After we started dating it was a real transition for me because I had not see a lot of single men like this (regardless of race). Many gals, especially the younger ones, feel like they have been on a date even though they paid for everything. I realized that even though I made a stance to only date or consider marrying a quality man I was amazed to find one that would treat a woman he invited to something even though they were not dating. We went out like this for several weeks before we officially started dating. He had done this all his life. I had experienced being treated on occasion with other men but not every time I went out with them.

It is a whole lot easier dating a quality man. Do not settle for less. Stay by yourself. It is not as bad as being with someone that is a thorn in your side that you knew would be but chose them anyway. I gladly stayed by myself and endure some unkind statements for doing so (you have too high standards, you hate men, you better take what you can get, etc.). It was the best decision I ever made. I am having the time of my life and intend to continue to. Only deal with men that want to be with you; those that you do not have to convince or coerce to do right. You will be better off.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Tracy said...

Sorry for not being clearer. That question was a lead off. If that study is true, does it not totally throw the notion of black women being "gold diggers" in the trash?

When non-black women marry black men, they marry the most educated black men and we know that there is a direct link between education and income level. Thus, they typically are gold digging when they marry black men. This study indicates that not only are black women more likely to marry men who are below their eduction level, the white men that they marry tend to have lower education levels on average than the black men that they marry.

This study not only throws out the gold digger notion when it comes to black men, it throws out the common notion that black women marry white men for money.

Taylor-Sara said...

Deleted Anon. we don't encourage women to go over there and read that soul wrenching trash. Do not send that link again.

Anonymous said...

Interesting fact...I just found out that that girl that Steve McNair was found dead with yesterday was a middle eastern girl who he met while she was working as a waitress at "Dave and Busters" so talk about gold digging. People are saying that it was probably his wife who killed them but considering she was middle eastern and how asians are soooo into their culture...it might have been an honor murder by a male in HER family...

Taylor-Sara said...

Francis:

Are you making a joke? Go back and read that nonsense you wrote again. First off, you had the nerve to say that BW have poor spending habits!!! LHM! Francis hon. bw are not the ones spending 20.000 on a pair of rims!!!! bw are not the ones who put 10.000 worth of gold teeth in their mouths and won't spend 10.00 on a book to fill their empty minds!!! Bw are not the ones refusing to pay CS while standing on the corner spending 50.00 per day on 40 ounces! And bw are not the ones spending a week's salary on a pair of sneakers! You better get your silly self out there and see the real world! because you live in lala land. And middle class bw give the gd. status basis huh. Let me tell you something hon. NO WOMAN ANYWHERE should be bothered with a man who has NOTHING to bring to the table. A woman can do bad all by herself! My only problem with the women in the post, was their excessive greed. But every woman, white, black, latino, Asian etc. should be looking for a man who can PROVIDE-and SUPPLY! If he cannot bring anything to the table, then send his butt to someone else's table and invite another man to dinner!
That's not being a gold digger. that is being sensible! You cannot feed your children with his LOVE! You cannot pay bills with his LOVE/POTENTIAL! And if he has so much potential, then honey he'll have something to show for it. You cannot work hard for years and have nothing to show for it! BM are the ONLY men that expect women to take them with nothing! No other men in the world expect that. But notice, how bm don't expect to come to the wg's table with nothing. They'll wait until they have money, prestige, big contracts etc, and then go for the wgs. But they want to come to a sistas table with nothing but the stinking clothes on their backs! BW need to send them right back to their momma's house! If he can't do anything for you, then don't ever let him waste your time. And Michelle did not take Obama with nothing silly goose. He was at the top of his harvard class, and head of several organizations! Any fool could see he was going to be big!!! And he may have been just a community leader at that time, but he was also a harvard graduate, and a lawyer! So once again, you are not making much sense. But I will say that if your idea of a gold digger means any woman who has the audacity to want a man who has something to show for 30-35-40+ years on earth, then yes you are right. -I would then encourage all women, WHITE-BLACK-OTHER to be gold diggers!

S said...

It's funny how BM say that BW in IRR only date loser type white guys who are not as well off as the BW and not as big of a star as the BW (halle berry etc) but when they DO marry or date a WM who is wealthy and powerful (Naomi campbell) she is a gold digging piece of trash.
I swear BW can't win...

And this topic got me thinking of the song "gold digger" by kanye west.
"i aint sayin' she a gold digger but she aint messin' with no broke niggaz" , BW always date the broke down negroe with nothing going for him, so wtf?
"But when you get on, he leave yo' ass for a white girl"
GOOD!

Aphrodite said...

@ Sara


"First off, you had the nerve to say that BW have poor spending habits!!! LHM! Francis hon. bw are not the ones spending 20.000 on a pair of rims!!!! bw are not the ones who put 10.000 worth of gold teeth in their mouths and won't spend 10.00 on a book to fill their empty minds!!! Bw are not the ones refusing to pay CS while standing on the corner spending 50.00 per day on 40 ounces! And bw are not the ones spending a week's salary on a pair of sneakers! You better get your silly self out there and see the real world! because you live in lala land. And middle class bw give the gd. status basis huh."



That is the truth. I have limited my contact dramatically with BM so I had no idea that these dynamics were still going on. Shame.


And it always seems that the middle class BW is the enemy. What is up with that?


Perhaps this plays into what Halima was saying about peeps trying to keep BW out of those comfortable living well positions.

Cdnblackchick said...

Hey Sara,

About a year ago, I came onto the net due to a specific comment. In my research, I discovered videos and blogs that opened me up to trash talk about bm/bw I did not know existed in such a vile extreme. For a year, I consumed and allowed this information to make me angry. My friends and family noticed a change in my personality (normally upbeat).

Recently, I read one of your blogs. You talked about reading and watching damaging information and its impact on one’s subconscious. You talked about the importance of putting positive information in and self care.

This weekend, I thought about my responses to blogs in general and your article while I sat by the lake hanging with my family. When I returned to my home, I realized I was done with all the blogs. I am now ready to move on and reclaim the positives in my life again. Especially in this economy, I have an a-w-f-u-l lot to be grateful for.

Thanks for the self-care blog because it jolted me back into reality. It got me to refocus on the all the great qualities I have and the good man I am looking for.

Now, I am going to enjoy my pomegranate martini on my patio and plan my trip to Turkey and Portugal.

Good luck ladies - Bye

Lena said...

I as a black woman want what any other woman would want a husband who can provide for me and any future offspring we might have or adopt!

I'll say before and I'll say it again gold-digger isn't restricted to race or sex. A lot of black men qualify as gold-diggers because they would rather live off of their girlfriends than help pay rent or child support!

OJ Simpson left his former wife and married a white woman when he got big so I guess if anyone is marrying for status it's black men.
I don't care about social standing all I care about is living well(middle class or better) and being loved by a good man.

Taylor-Sara said...

Canadian blkch.
you might consider to blogs that never mention bm, if that's what's bothering you.
There is Zabeth,(on sidebar) she has a great blog, as well as Rev. Lisa (bw blow the trump)
Good bye, and good luck...

Anonymous said...

Sarah, often times I have seen black men steadily getting their post graduate education while black women overlooked them because they didn't have money at that particular time. These men eventually blew up financially once they finished their education.

Also, black women who look for guys with money usually do so because they want a guy to provided them individually with luxury, not because they see a man who would provide stability for a family.

Taylor-Sara said...

Oh Anon. please save the bull. You and I know that a bm can be the biggest nerd in town, and 1000 bw will still want him. so that bw only want gangstas is absolute bull. And a bw getting a post-grad degree being ignored!!! Yeah right-in the twilight zone! Yall start to believe your own nonsense.

And the other comment was just too silly to address...

cool_splash1 said...

SMH in denial much. Have you heard the fowl things said about bw with degrees from blkm? Seriously if anyones getting the hate it's bw.

Carib.girl said...

Hey Sara, It's been a while, and I just had to give my two cents.

I never understood the whole "All bw are gold-diggers" mantra. Harry spoke about this nonsense on his blog, and one person, who commented made a good point.
*How could bw be both gold-diggers, and independent at the same time.
*How could bw be both promiscuous, and sexually conservative at the same time. (you know bm say, bw aren't as sexually liberated as ww).
They can't even stick to one stereotype.

Sara, it's a shame you have to post rules, because of those disrespectful men. I'm pretty sure they're not spewing their nonsensical comments on those "black men luv white women" blogs.

Carib.girl said...

I don't know what it is, but I feel that, the Anonymous person leaving ignorant comments, might be a ww or non-blk woman dating/married to a collegian bm.

Personally, I've heard of some ww, who were dating/married to bm, and had this deep resentment towards bw, because they feel bw are "hating" on their IR relationships with bm, they would've "never given a chance", because they were "financially unstable at the time".
Just read this comment:

"often times I have seen black men steadily getting their post graduate education while black women overlooked them because they didn't have money at that particular time. These men eventually blew up financially once they finished their education".

This comment (along with the rest of them) just seems odd.

Pat said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Oh Anon. please save the bull. You and I know that a bm can be the biggest nerd in town, and 1000 bw will still want him.

That's not true. Black male nerds are among the loneliest men out there.

Aphrodite said...

@ Anon

"Sarah, often times I have seen black men steadily getting their post graduate education while black women overlooked them because they didn't have money at that particular time. These men eventually blew up financially once they finished their education."


Where are these men? There were about 5 BM in undergrad total that I was able to count during my 4 years and 0 in grad school.


It is sad when you are a true minority - totally outnumbered- and still "can't find" a BW that you claim you want.

Not only that, but what do I care about some unknown alleged post grad stranger that supposedly "blew up?"


I mean these people aren't in my circle and are not positively impacting my life.


I think it is understood that BM have gone their way - so what is the point? This is not the understand the plight of the BM blog- this is Interracial love and spice regarding BW.




"Also, black women who look for guys with money usually do so because they want a guy to provided them individually with luxury, not because they see a man who would provide stability for a family."



Um the purpose of a middle class life is to have both. Having security and some luxuries. That is why they call it middle class. You definitely aren't working class or poor, but you haven't made it to being totally financially independent yet. You're in the middle.


Living hand to mouth even though all your bills are paid is not really living and def not my definition of middle class.

I am able to afford myself a measure of luxury now. I am not "living it up", but if I want to buy myself a nice piece of jewelry from Ross Simons for Christmas or if I want to stay at the Fire Sky Resort in Scottsdale for my birthday - I can and have. So a guy especially my husband is going to have to match and exceed that. Or that would equal a huge step down for me.


My husband of all people refusing me little luxuries would make me distant, withdrawn, and bitter, dry up our sex life, and have me seeking the nearest escape route for greener pastures.

Aphrodite said...

@ Carib


Never considered that, but shouldn't she be recruiting/educating elsewhere?

Why is he/she/it here? LOL

I mean I am so over it I don't care about the lone handful of BM who made it. They have made it clear how they feel about BW through their collective actions/inaction.


And I am getting irritated at these pathetic sympathy pleas - like "we po BM been done so wrong" it still smacks of the major role reversal in the black community- BM wanting BW to protect and cover for them - yet again.

Alta said...

Anon said: Interesting fact...I just found out that that girl that Steve McNair was found dead with yesterday was a middle eastern girl who he met while she was working as a waitress at "Dave and Busters" so talk about gold digging. People are saying that it was probably his wife who killed them but considering she was middle eastern and how asians are soooo into their culture...it might have been an honor murder by a male in HER family...
------

Um, yeah, I have a friend who's Asian, and this comment is so unnecessary. And ignorant. Let's not forget ignorant. And frankly racist.

Wanting to be secure and taken care of is not being a gold digger. Bw should not be afraid to want things. I think it's pretty easy to tell when someone's a gold digger and greedy. You need to have standards, and you need to believe in those standards and not put your head down when in the company of other people. So what if they don't agree with your standards? Should you fail to achieve them, those people who didn't agree with you won't be suffering with you. You (the bw who are afraid) should always keep that in mind.

That's what my mom teaches us. The girls and the boys. She doesn't care what skin color the person we marry has, but she will not STAND for us to marry someone who will only make us miserable.

She tells me and my sister all the time to only go out with a guy that can take care of you TO YOUR SATISFACTION. Similarly, she tells the boys to go out with girls they want to spend money on. None of that whining stuff 'cause they gotta spend some money. What kind of man is that?

Steph said...

I find it funny that when a BW says she wants someone on her level or higher, she gets groans and the sucking of the teeth and vicious name-calling from other BW or BM...I find this sooo hysterical because why is it so hard to believe that black women should strive for better? That response is saying one thing to me: you're black, you're female, you don't deserve better. It makes me even more upset when BW internalize this belief and shut down women who didn't. All you need to do is look at YT and see some BW calling others "gold diggers" in response to some videos talking about not dating broke guys...it's truly sad.

I think we should stop being apologetic about our wants and our needs. Why is it that we are the only group of women who are being ostracized for vocalizing our needs?

lormarie said...

I find it laughable when bm spout the "black women are golddiggers" mantra. It has always been my opinion that black men lack the resources and power for ANY woman to dig for gold. Even when a ww marries a "successful" bm, she's still isn't marrying power. BM owe their success to the graciousness of wm.

Also, I do believe that bm have higher incomes than bw. I bet it's due to working multiple jobs rather than true success. The same with Asians vs. all other races. I've seen that over and over again.

Lastly, has anyone here ever read white men's rights blogs? They show white women absolutely no mercy. They even get on my nerves and I'm a bw.

Pamela said...

I was attending a black church sometime in the 90s. This was the only setting at the time where I was around a significant number of bp on a regular basis. I heard 'your standards are too high' from bp so many times that I lost count. At times this NONSENSE came from the pastor in the pulpit. At first I would be quiet because in general I do not like confrontation. THEN I thought 'if they can say this nonsense to me I can say what I want in response'. I yelled so much against what they were saying they stopped talking about it. Unfortunately these 'Christians' began to slander me because of it. During this time is when I realized that it was a pattern in many all-black settings of all kinds. Every black church I attended in my life communicated this to some degree. After this episode I decided NEVER to be in all-black constructs on a regular basis. I will on occasion for a special event or something like that. Sad to say that it appears that things have not changed in all these years. Any bw that hears this nonsense on a regular basis should seriously consider removing herself from the mental poison and get on with the business of living life to the full. You are the one that makes your bed. Make sure that you make it how you decide to make it instead of letting vipers and snakes who mean you no good to influence what you make your bed with. When you are old you will have peace of mine.

Aphrodite said...

@ Pamela,

I got those messages as well in church. The thing is I wonder how many BW are even conscious enough to realize that it is poison? When I was hearing it so many people agreed with it and were living it - such that it felt/seemed the normal order of things.


I think Steph really broke it down though when she said that basically the message from BM is - you are unworthy and don't deserve better. That is it in a nutshell.


Re: Chris McNair


I had never heard of this so I googled it. McNair is a prominent Black surname/family in my area of the South so when I noticed the above post my interest was piqued.


I read a few articles about this, but the postings underneath made me sick. A good number had to be from DBRBM. They were lashing McNair's wife calling her a - drumroll- gold digger. Saying that she didn't deserve his money now that he was gone and she was probably a black so and so and that is what made him cheat and if it wasn't for her this situation wouldn't have come to this. All kinds of crazy mess. Nothing bad was said about the girl, or no concern expressed for his children that his wife bore for him - just all kinds of evil dumped on his wife.

I am amazed. These men are insane.


You could not pay me to look at a BM.

ak said...

American Black Chick in London:

Just another viewpoint: I was living in London when the Heather Mills and Paul McCartney first started the divorce proceedings and I can tell you the press called her every name in the book, gold digger and whore being two of the nicer ones. I did notice that the US press didn't really attack her in the same way the UK press did though. I still think the amount of money Heather Mills got was ridiculous.



Exactly I live in London now but I lived in the US for years and yes Heather Mills is the ONE ww out of many that they decided to deride in the British press and actually call her a golddigger and other bad names. JUST THAT ONE LOL

And it's only because Heather was married to Beatles founder Paul McCartney and they were going on like the man should be called St. Paul or Paul Christ! LOL Do they even really know him?

I did hear that some in the USA were slating Heather Mills as well just because of Paul, Our Lord! LOL


Halima:

But if bw became fully aware of the full scale social machinery deployed to ensure they remain on the outskirts of power and wealth, they would be upset.


Yeah Halima but I think that black women are already too aware of this anyway and bw just forget and walk on happily some, or sadly struggle on with their lives.

But as you, Sara, Evia, Khadija, and Rev. Lisa have proudly shown us, we have a right to the best like every other woman out there. So we have to reach for it while we can, life's too short even when you are doing well.

ak said...

Carib.girl:

Personally, I've heard of some ww, who were dating/married to bm, and had this deep resentment towards bw, because they feel bw are "hating" on their IR relationships with bm



Oh please! Cry me a river! I am so tired of bm or ww thinking that EVERY bw ever born has time to hate on, or be preoccupied with their IR relationships and marriages.

Who gives a rat's patoot about you lady? I've got my OWN social life and marriage that I want to plan when I'm ready! Sheesh!

Lavette said...

Wow at the negative anti bw upward mobility comments. Black women are human right? Because for a minute there I was beginning to wonder if black women were inanimate objects having no feelings, no thoughts, no dreams, no goals etc, etc.

So glad that I know better than to take any of this as gospel truth. I guess for some backwards thinking bw and bm it's a stretch of the mind to comprehend that black women are not 1 dimensional people that we are not all cut from the same cloth and that we all have such diverse tastes, but when folks are putting black women into the same box all the time, to these people any bw that doesn't behave the same way is considered strange or white. LOL!

I have 2 older sisters I am the youngest and I have watched both of them go through nothing but bm that had nothing to offer them only to end up suffering later on in their relationships or trainwrecks as I like to call it.

There is something to be said about being the youngest sister you can watch and learn what never to do from your older siblings now that one is divorced and the other widowed they are both singing a new song. I've always had my goals and dreams intact so that I'd knew how to strategize.

@pamela

I know all to well what you mean about the black church and pastors recycled sermons from the pulpit. Last sunday our guest speaker told us to stop using facebook because in his mind us lonely christians (and I'm sure this was mostly directed at the christian women) were on there looking up old boyfriends and girlfriends....LOL! This is happens when you have these bootleg preachers that don't understand about technology they think its all the work of the devil.

Anonymous said...

often times I have seen black men steadily getting their post graduate education while black women overlooked them because they didn't have money at that particular time. These men eventually blew up financially once they finished their education".

This comment (along with the rest of them) just seems odd
-----------------------------------
not only are they odd but they are a flat out lie

sukeytawdry said...

Tracy said...
Sorry for not being clearer. That question was a lead off. If that study is true, does it not totally throw the notion of black women being "gold diggers" in the trash?

When non-black women marry black men, they marry the most educated black men and we know that there is a direct link between education and income level. Thus, they typically are gold digging when they marry black men. This study indicates that not only are black women more likely to marry men who are below their eduction level, the white men that they marry tend to have lower education levels on average than the black men that they marry.

This study not only throws out the gold digger notion when it comes to black men, it throws out the common notion that black women marry white men for money.

Sukey said:
LOL! I am so not convinced you are a woman, Tracy. You come here with this info from a so called "study". A "study" I'm calling b.s. on, btw. I wonder who funded this "study" and what they have to gain from such a "study". At any rate, I believe if this "study" did in fact take place, the results were flipped to favor black males and white females. From everything I've experienced and seen, it is white men who have more education and money when they date a black woman. They have to in order to cushion themselves from serious backlash. White men and black women generally have alot more to lose within their groups when they date each other. Black males and white females hold the least amount of power in their respective groups. One need not look any further than Sara's sidebar and that of other black woman empowerment blogs to see that this "study" is most likely a lie. My and many other black womens real life experiences and observations have also rendered this "study" and it's findings "false". Black males who marry white females on a whole,lack education and resources, unless he is an athlete or somehow otherwise famous. If he's not famous, he usually has nothing. On the flipside, if a white man gets involved with or married to a black woman, he normally has financial independence. He typically has no one to answer to and is typically much more educated and productive than any black male the black woman would've gotten involved with. When a white man has financial independence, he is less likely to care what society at large thinks. Where are the equivalent bm/wf couplings of Naomi and Vlad, Mellody and George, Mark and Allison Ecko, Roland and Lois Betts?
Besides Sale Johnson and Ahmad Raashad, there is no bm/wf couple equivalent to the ones listed above. I don't count athletes because they are only rich, not very educated (exception Tiger Woods and maybe a few others)and they are modern day slaves/gladiators whose function is to entertain the masses and make a white male team owner richer than the athlete will ever be.

Anonymous said...

I just wanted to say that I LOVE your blog. I discovered it a few days ago and I've gone through and read every single post from last year and this year so far. So inspiring, so truthful and so eye-opening.

Phd White Guy said...

In general, this current recession has wiped out allot of men, or threatened their possible career paths. There are going to be far less men of means, especially younger men.

As a guy who is a PHD himself, let me tell you most women aren't interested. Academics who have spent most of their lives in school are not going to be making big bucks, unless they happened to be in the sciences.

Phd White Guy said...

When a white man has financial independence, he is less likely to care what society at large thinks


Another point-how many white men are actually financially independent? Most white men are reliant on making a wage or a salary. Very few of us are at the top of the heap. Of course, we have fewer at the bottom the heap.

Sandra77 said...

Anonymous who posted at 8:40 pm: If you love Sara's blog, if you haven't already found them, there are some other blogs you will want to read. See Evia's blog, Halima's blog (dateawhiteguy), Khadija's blog (muslimbushido), Rev. Lisa's blog (blackwomenblowthetrumpet), CW's blog - for starters. You'll find other blogs in their blogrolls. Happy reading!

Taylor-Sara said...

I agree 100% sukey, Tracey,post the link to your so called study, because I also thinks it's bull. When bw marry wm, I have almost never heard of them marrying undereducated men (UNLESS HE WAS BLACK) I think you made that 'study' up. I know plenty of bw married to wm, and not one of those men is undereducated, or has less Education than her...

cool_splash1 said...

As a guy who is a PHD himself, let me tell you most women aren't interested. Academics who have spent most of their lives in school are not going to be making big bucks, unless they happened to be in the sciences.

Reallly it's what you do to get where you want to. As Rob K. has said you don't get wealthy working at a salaried job.

Also Sarah, Evia and others aren't saying a man of means. They are saying a man who planned. There is a teaching in courtish (that too bad men and women don't listen to much anymore)and that is that a man shouldn't even be thinking about courting a woman unless he has his house in order.

Also that's like guys who say that they can't get married, because the economy is bad etc. Didn't stop people from getting married during the great depression.

And please if Pioneer and other men thought (some didn't)to work to save money (yeah some got mail order brides)before they get married so that they could take care of their families then that could be done now too.

Anonymous said...

Aphrodite, LOL at your comments to that stupid anon and his "Real women are submissive and cater to their husbands every wish" mess!

cool_splash1 said...

sorry meant courtship

sukeytawdry said...

Phd White Guy said:
Another point-how many white men are actually financially independent? Most white men are reliant on making a wage or a salary. Very few of us are at the top of the heap. Of course, we have fewer at the bottom the heap.

Sukey says:
Alot more white men are financially independent than any other. It may not be most of you but, most of the "Captains of Industry" are certainly white men. I do certainly agree with your assessment of the top and bottom of the heap.

Anonymous said...

Phd White Guy what is your background? In academia there are layoffs too, but some are getting online teaching jobs to supplement.

Name: G. T. said...

PhD WhiteGuy,

Don’t be discouraged. I’m sure the right woman for you is out there. You don’t have to be making big bucks. At the time I met my husband, he wasn’t making a ton of money either and hadn’t landed his dream job (I looked at the vision and actionable plan that he had for his education and future career). I think even in a situation where a guy’s dream job doesn’t pay a lot, there are still women out there who will be willing to enter a relationship with him if the two have compatible personalities, values, education/intellectual pursuits, etc. In my single days, there was this guy whose plan was to quit his high-paying job to become a pastor and he seemed quite convinced that God had told him I was his future wife. I knew that if I were to marry a pastor, he probably wouldn’t make a lot of money (yes, I know some do), but I still went out with him because I thought we were compatible. There was another girl at our church who was interested in him too though his future earning potential wasn’t high. (In the end, it didn’t work out between me and him because it turned out our personalities weren’t a good fit.) There’s a good woman out there who will see your worth.

cool_splash1 said...

I know this is somewhat off topic, but that new Orphan movie just really rubs me the wrong way.

Phd White Guy said...

Phd White Guy what is your background?

History is my background.

Cool_Splash 1

I don't know who Rob K is, but many of us have little choice but to work in a salaried job (unless we open a business, which is fraught with its own risks.) My point was that this great recession is having a big impact on allot men. I know guys in several fields who will probably have their careers derailed for years because of all this.

Thanks for the kind words Name: G.T.!

Tracy said...

Sarah. I posted the link in my original post. You responded to it.

cool_splash1 said...

Robert Kiyosaki talks about how you don't get rich from a salaried job. I think that's true. I think it's possible, but you would have to either have a high paying job or be frugal as hell.

lormarie said...

PhD White Guy,

I suspect that women will be a lot more understanding of a man's financial situation during this recession. I also think that having a PhD may impress a lot of women.

Delishmish said...

Aphrodite said:

You could not pay me to look at a BM.
......................

Really???..lol

You could pay me! I'll draw up a contract right now.

Steph said...

Aphrodite said:

"I read a few articles about this, but the postings underneath made me sick. A good number had to be from DBRBM. They were lashing McNair's wife calling her a - drumroll- gold digger. Saying that she didn't deserve his money now that he was gone and she was probably a black so and so and that is what made him cheat and if it wasn't for her this situation wouldn't have come to this. All kinds of crazy mess. Nothing bad was said about the girl, or no concern expressed for his children that his wife bore for him - just all kinds of evil dumped on his wife. "

I'm glad I'm not the only one disturbed by the backlash that his wife is getting. What really disturbed was when I wondered: what if the situation was reversed and McNair was married with a non-BW and cheated with a BW??

I think we all know that the response would be significantly different. I could just imagine them talking about how he shouldn't have messing with black women because we are crazy, man-eaters, etc. None of the blame would be placed on the wife in that case (which it shouldn't be in the first place). It seems to be the hobby of whiny men to heap all the blame on BW.

We just can't win and I thank God I got myself off that neverending hampster wheel of trying to please those crazies.

Taylor-Sara said...

Yeah, what is the name of that thread, I want to check out what they are saying about his wife...

Anonymous said...

I want to see this link also. I have read several articles and seen no such comments. I have seen the shooter referred to a a gold digger, but not his wife.

Anonymous said...

often times I have seen black men steadily getting their post graduate education while black women overlooked them because they didn't have money at that particular time. These men eventually blew up financially once they finished their education".

LoL! And just what type of black women were these men chasing after?! More than likely NOT the serious-minded black woman pursuing her own post graduate degree. Most black 'nerds' have no interest in black 'nerdettes'. Those guys deperately want the sassy hot mama who all the other black guys want. That woman is the real gold-digger those clowns accuse all black woman of being. She's usually a small potatoes gold-digger, though. The most she can expect out of the ghetto kings who pursue her is chump change towards getting her hair and nails done and a little help with paying her rent.

The reason the nerds are out of luck with that type of woman is because she often ALL about money, and a broke nerd doesn't stand a chance with her. She might even be a sucker for a broke thug, but rarely a broke nerd. When the nerd gets rejected by the hoochie, he condemns all black women as gold-diggers who only want thugs -- including the nerdettes who he never considered as desirable enough to even bother with.

Aphrodite said...

Steph:

Now I read the news update that said that he had pretty much started out being her sugar daddy, but then lapsed when it came to keeping the money coming.

They had the Escalade together in both their names - which was weird and she eventually had to make the payments on it HERSELF! In addition to making the payments on her Kia - as she had been unable to sell the car when McNair "bought" her the Escalade.

Then she had a roommate and was supposed to be moving in with McNair in the condo I assume, and she had started selling her stuff and her roommate was moving out so she had to pay the full rent for that.


So a waitress has to make payments on two cars [one being a luxury car] and I presume insurance etc.. and then a full rent plus other living expenses.


That sounds like some crazy stuff a DBRBM would do.

Anonymous said...

If you are with someone that you would not be with if they did not have money or prestige is when I think gold digging is a problem.
---
Gold-diggers primary only goal is in acquiring great wealth (gold) and the lifestyle that often goes with having great wealth. Age, looks, a lack of compatibility, a lack of affection -- none of these are usually seen as a good enough reason NOT to get with a wealthy man. Women who look for a loving, compatible relationship with financially stable mate are NOT gold-diggers! Especially women who have children or intend to have them.

Even though the woman is assisting the man in passing on his genetic material to future generations, she always invests much more in the reproduction process (his little sperm vs her larger egg + her carry the baby in her body for 9 months + an often painful labor) and usually more in the child rearing process, also. Why shouldn't she at least expect a mate who can kick in a little extra money towards taking care of her and THEIR children?! Why should a nice personality be her only requirement in a mate? It's certainly not enough for most men!

Most of these Negro males are just mad because they don't have what it takes to pull down a good salary yet they still want access to the most sought after women.

Anonymous said...

Also, black women who look for guys with money usually do so because they want a guy to provided them individually with luxury, not because they see a man who would provide stability for a family.
------

Why is it important to you that BW be the mules of the world?! Why do you insist that BW's lives consist of work, worry, drudgery, struggle and misery -- and that our desiring any degree of luxury in life makes us evil?! The image of a worn out BW wearing a rag on her head, down on her knees cleaning the floor with a brush and a bucket of water appeals to you doesn't it?! You think It's a noble existence for BW because, in your hateful mind, we don't deserve anything BUT misery.

Anonymous said...

"This is why so many black women date drug dealers"

So many? Then it also logically follows that SO MANY black men are criminals who sell narcotics for a living.

Selena said...

@ Steph & Sara, Aphrodite,

And you know what really kills me? The media really needs to stop calling the killer his "girlfriend". She was his MISTRESS. Hello, McNair had a WIFE.

The media tombout his "girlfriend" found out he was involved with another woman...yeah his wife!

The last time the word "mistress" was thrown around by the media is when the governor of South Carolina got busted LOL. Its little ish like this that gets on my darn nerves and we continue to let it slide.

So riddle me this why is it when a married ww's husband is cheating, the side-piece is called a mistress but when a bw's husband is cheating the side-piece is called his gf??

Anonymous said...

Well, quite often, individual drug dealers have multiple women. So it could be a lot of women chasing a few men.

lormarie said...

Well, quite often, individual drug dealers have multiple women. So it could be a lot of women chasing a few men.--DBRAnon

What these DBR's don't get is that the majority of black men date and marry black women. I think the stat is roughly 90%. So if black women generally pursue thugs, drug dealers, or bad men, the logical conclusion is that most black men engage in those trifling behaviors. But the DBR's are so desperate to refute their opposition that they are too stupid to realize they are making themselves and other black men look bad.

Anonymous said...

There are some commenting on this blog who are coming across as being pro-BW/BM, and trying to be "nickle slick" about it......

This is an IR blog...AND


You aren't fooling anybody.......

Anonymous said...

I say leave all those DBRBM ALONE. As you can see by the McNair fisaco, it doesn't matter if they have money or not. He has a wife, this girl, and they say possibly ANOTHER girl on the side as well. I mean COME ON...this is ridiculous. And we still have BW talking about "nothing but a Black Man?" are you kidding me? Not me...NOT ME...I am DONE with BM...DONE

Lavette said...

Selena said...
"So riddle me this why is it when a married ww's husband is cheating, the side-piece is called a mistress but when a bw's husband is cheating the side-piece is called his gf??"

___________________________________

It goes back to how ww and bw are socialized/indoctrinated. When a ww is wronged by a cheating husband her honor and so called pristine reputation are at stake and must be protected at all costs and therefore the attitude is that a white woman shouldn't have to take this laying down without some sort of retribution.

In the case of bw women society is constantly seeing us take mess like this without much of a fight back and since the black community does nothing to support black women when we are wronged by a cheating husband or protect our reputations, there is no investment in our honors being restored therefore its assumed that we are used to being treated like dirt so no real effort is made to use proper titles in each situation.

cool_splash1 said...

I read an article in which he apparently killed her and then killed himself. Talk about jacked up.

Lena said...

That is why I get annoyed when ww talk about being oppressed I just wanna scream Shut Up! WW are not labeled like BW are labeled. WW are judged as individuals while BW are judged as interchangeable members of a collective body. I believe the correct term for the Black Community would be collective because the individuality of black women and black people as a whole is denied by the BC designation!

The Black community is a myth that needs to die a dog's death and preferably sooner than later.

Anonymous said...

"Well, quite often, individual drug dealers have multiple women. So it could be a lot of women chasing a few men."

Uh huh. It's not likely that millions of women spread out over 50 states are sharing a few death dealers. On the other hand, BM ARE known for being sexually promiscuous with oodles and oodles of women and even a few men.

Anonymous said...

Cool_Splash. Are you joking? He was shot four times, twice in the head.

Bet said...

Firstly, she was referred to as his “girlfriend” probably because of the ambiguity of their relationship. Initially, she was portrayed as a woman he was supposedly in the process of leaving his wife for. They had a car in both of their names; they traveled together and seemingly didn’t make much attempt to hide their relationship. She was making plans to sell her stuff and move in with him. This created the perception that she had passed the status of mistress and had become a flat out girlfriend.

Secondly, the term “mistress” has a certain elegant nature to it that folks would most likely assign to a white millionaire business mogul or something as opposed to a black athlete. White men have mistresses while black men have women on the side.

Taylor-Sara said...

Well, I heard that she (the mistress) shot HIM. I heard he told her he would not marry her, and she flipped out....

Anonymous said...

So if black women generally pursue thugs, drug dealers, or bad men, the logical conclusion is that most black men engage in those trifling behaviors.

Well that goes both ways. If most black men engage in those trifling behaviors, the logical conclusion is that such behavior is motivated by the sexual rewarding of such behavior by black women.

Anonymous said...

"Well that goes both ways. If most black men engage in those trifling behaviors, the logical conclusion is that such behavior is motivated by the sexual rewarding of such behavior by black women."

Oh, I understand now -- BM are so craven, dumb and debased that they will do anything for sex, in much the same way as a donkey will go anywhere you want if you dangle a carrot in front of it's nose. Makes perfect sense. Thanks for clearing that up.

lormarie said...

Well that goes both ways. If most black men engage in those trifling behaviors, the logical conclusion is that such behavior is motivated by the sexual rewarding of such behavior by black women.--Anon

Another comment that makes black men look stupid. They will engage in criminal activities in order to get sex. How depraved. Healthy, civilized men wouldn't do such a thing. I'd like to think that most bm aren't as stupid as you are.

ak said...

I also have nothing against Robin Givens when she divorced Mike Tyson. She should get as much money as she can out of him. Look what he did to Desiree Washington and Evander Holyfield's ear. Tyson has always been a crimanl beast and a caveman.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
cool_splash1 said...

Firstly, she was referred to as his “girlfriend” probably because of the ambiguity of their relationship. Initially, she was portrayed as a woman he was supposedly in the process of leaving his wife for. They had a car in both of their names; they traveled together and seemingly didn’t make much attempt to hide their relationship. She was making plans to sell her stuff and move in with him. This created the perception that she had passed the status of mistress and had become a flat out girlfriend.

I've known bm who have done with with mistresses. We may never really know, if he and his wife were splitting, but not divorced yet that womans shouldn't have even considered his ass.

A really nice man (now my cousin is dating him)refused to date her when she and her husband (good man, but he does have issues, worked on them, but they just found they weren't compatiable)were separated. He said what if we get serious and you decide to go back to your husband. At first she was pissed off, but what happened not five months later? She ended up right back with her husband. Even she says he was right. That's a big reason my mom always told me don't go out with him don't even think of talking to him if he is separated. A separated man is just a married man away from him wife. Or the we are separating, I don't live my wife crap. The man can say how he doesn't love his wife etc. act like he's going to leave, but yet he always seems to be taking those family trips with them.

I hate that this happened to other family members or that some of my family members even did this to others, but I'm glad I got to see it and the destruction it can cause for both sides.

ak said...

Hey Taylor-Sara!

I caught near the end of that show Girls of The Playboy Mansion once where the girls and Heff went to the Kentucky Derby I think and later they went to this after party at the Derby where Michael McDonald was singing.

And then I saw the country singer Travis Tritt and there was a black woman standing right next to him when he was saying Hi to Hef!

Yes this black woman stood by Travis and stopped with Travis while he was speaking to Hef and when Travis was done, they walked away TOGETHER! She didn't say much to Hef, in a nice way and she was smiley. No, this wasn't a case of her just walking past Travis's back, she was standing right by him.

So is it true? Is Travis Tritt dating a black woman or was she just his date for that night? Do you know anything about this Sara?

Taylor-Sara said...

Girl, I don't know, but I'm going to try to find out. I Love Travis, He has one of the most beautiful voices, I've ever heard! Did he sing that night? Anyway, I am def. going to try to find out....Thanks for letting us know...

Anonymous said...

Sorry ladies he is married to a latino woman.check his myspace page.

www.myspace.com/travistrittfans

Anonymous said...

Well that goes both ways. If most black men engage in those trifling behaviors, the logical conclusion is that such behavior is motivated by the sexual rewarding of such behavior by black women.--Anon

Hey, Anon, why don't you just cut your losses right now and stop making black men look stupid, criminally-inclined, animalistic and easily duped.

Rocky said...

Adolescents of both genders are often stupid, impressionable and easily duped. That is the time when most of them form their adult attitudes. Black adolescent boys are no different from any other boys save for the differences in what they observe in life and how they are socialized by the input they receive. What draws female attention plays a major role in this. Look up the the Theory of Sexual Selection and how it influences human culture.

Aphrodite said...

I can't take no more.

What is wrong with folks?

I found out that McNair was not only cheating on Iranian chick with another women in TN, but this man had another side piece in MN that was a stripper/sex worker (nonblack) and he was providing for her as well - long term.

How do they find the time? LOL Do their lives revolve around this? I mean do they sit up and just think - like ordinary people think ok- today I will have a salad for lunch and then pick up my dry cleaning and stop by the pharmacy- then make chicken for dinner - are they thinking - ok I can have sex wid fo wommmins today for lunch and then after lunch I can go get a hooker and ....


Is it really that serious?? Did somebody lie to me? Men can not be that nasty and animalistic.


If I was Mechelle I would be taking an AIDS test ASAP!

Nasty nasty nasty!


I don't know. I have feelings, but everytime I hear things like this I dig even more firmly on the celibacy track.

Rocky said...

Tyson has always been a crimanl beast and a caveman.

Yet his little girl dies tragically and he shows solidarity with her mother by marrying her a few weeks later.

sistrunkqueen said...

Travis Tritt's wife is biracial. Their wedding was featured in Southern Living magazine years ago and I recalled Tritt's wife's cousin(black woman) as a bride's maid as a matter of fact most of the brides maids were black or biracial. She looks latina , but she is a sista!LOL

Selena said...

Thanks for clearing that up Sistrunkqueen. Anyone got any photos? Over at Pinky's someone posted a link about Juilio Iglesias Sr's wife being black. Sadly he passed away. Its hard finding pictures of her too but she's beautiful. G.D. media!

Aphrodite said...

"Why is it important to you that BW be the mules of the world?! Why do you insist that BW's lives consist of work, worry, drudgery, struggle and misery -- and that our desiring any degree of luxury in life makes us evil?! The image of a worn out BW wearing a rag on her head, down on her knees cleaning the floor with a brush and a bucket of water appeals to you doesn't it?! You think It's a noble existence for BW because, in your hateful mind, we don't deserve anything BUT misery."



Anon- that is it right there. You really nailed it with that imagery and perhaps some imagery that many BW unconsciously hold of themselves.

Joy said...

Add Debbie Rowe to the list.

"Rowe -- a former dental assistant who bore a boy and girl for Jacko -- had forfeited her parental rights once before in exchange for big bucks.

After the birth of son Prince Michael, now 12, and daughter Paris, 11, she agreed to allow Jackson to raise them in exchange for a lump sum of $8 million, plus $900,000 annually for five years, the source said.

When Jacko was accused of child molestation in 2001, Rowe resurfaced to reclaim her rights. But she wound up giving her ex-husband full custody of the kids anyway -- in exchange for another $4 million plus a $900,000 home.

This time around, she is forfeiting her restored parental rights to Jackson's mom, Katherine, in exchange for yet another roughly $4 million, the family source said.

"This would be it. This takes away any rights she has to challenge custody at any given time," the source said."

I seriously hope this is not true. It's disgusting.

Taylor-Sara said...

That's digusting! She's selling her children over and over again! I cannot believe that! And how many time is this woman going to be paid to turn over parental rights? Seems to me the kids have served their purpose for her. They've made her rich!

Anonymous said...

Most of these Negro males are just mad because they don't have what it takes to pull down a good salary yet they still want access to the most sought after women.


EXACTLY! Thank you!

Anonymous said...

I'd like to say a big thank you to the anon who told the truth about these whining Black male nerds. You really told it like it is! These whiny Black male nerds are upset because they couldn't/can't get the Black it girl (Just like nerdy males in every other damn race couldn't/can't get the it girls of their races) so they bash all Black women. Too many idiots listen to the pathetic whining of those pathetic losers and use it as yet another reason to hate on sistas.

Anonymous said...

Selena, the answer is simple. It is called anti-Black female racism.

Anonymous said...

Look at this Debbie Rowe! Will ANYBODY call that pig a gold-digger? NO. Why? Simply because she is a precious, oh-so pure and clean little White woman.

Makes me SICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I fail to understand why Black men being made to "Look bad" is so worth a certain indivdual getting so upset about.

It seems to me that she belongs on a Black man's blog. Maybe "She" is a Black man herself.

Anonymous said...

So many? Then it also logically follows that SO MANY black men are criminals who sell narcotics for a living.


EXACTLY.

Anonymous said...

Hey, Anon, why don't you just cut your losses right now and stop making black men look stupid, criminally-inclined, animalistic and easily duped.


Why do you want him to stop telling the truth?

Sandra77 said...

You can find a picture of Julio Igelesias Sr.'s US born wife, Ronna Keitt. Ronna was much younger than Dr. Iglesias and is not the mother of Julio Iglesias (the singer). You can find a picture of Dr. Iglesias and Ronna at http://www.dominicantoday.com/dr/this-and-that/2005/12/19/8446/Julio-Iglesias-father-dies-at-90.

Taylor-Sara said...

no, I can't it just keep saying the link is broken.....