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Saturday, June 13, 2009

BW- Stop the spoken/unspoken apologies!!!





This is Halle at the Guy's choice awards Kissing the ever revolting Jaime Foxx. The whole display felt like an unspoken apology to bm for loving a wm.... The other pic is Halle with her gorgeous S.O. Gabriel Aubrey









I, for the life of me cannot understand why some bw cannot accept the fact that they have a God-given right to love whomever they want, and that they do not have to apologize to the bc or to anyone else. I'm referring of course to Halle. but I've seen this behavior demonstrated by many sistas. They'll be happily involved with a non-bm and feel the need to hide, or downplay it. This is esp true when there are multiple bm around, or if they feel that they are under watch. This is totally unfair to the man you've committed to, as well as damaging to the relationship. You cannot expect a man to be proud to be with you, while you are demonstrating shame, or embarrassment in being with him. Would you let him get away with that mess??

Let me give my take on the Halle berry fiasco. Here is a very beautiful woman who has been through alot. We all know she was married to a man (Justice ) who just one day up and said, that he no longer wished to be married to her. Then of course we all know her second husband (Bonet) was a gold digger and a womanizer who cheated on her with anything that moved and sued her for an outrageous amount of money during the divorce. She has been in a relationship for the past few years with a white model named Gabriel. They have a little girl, and seem very happy, and much much in love. Finally she seems to have found some stability in her life. So why in the world would she jeopardize it with a stupid stunt like the one at the Guy's award show. For those of you who don't know. When she came up to receive her award she had a very very intimate kiss with Jaime Foxx and allowed him to actually brazenly fondle her rear on national TV???
Here are the words of one reviewer:
Ring The Alarm! Talk about hot, hot, hot. Jaime Foxx and Halle Berry in a lip-lock so hot, I'm sure Jaime is still trying to recover. The two were at the Spike TV's 2009 "Guys Choice Awards" when she received her award, Jaime made his move and let it be known what he thinks of Ms. Berry. I hope her honey-dip Gabriel isn't the jealous type. That kiss was simply delicious to look at. I need a glass of water!
Now I'm not sure if this is a publicity stunt or what. All I know is that this is not the behavior of a woman who is deeply in love with someone else, and that this is not respectful to the man she has committed to. I was utterly shocked to see this display. True she is a grown woman, and she certainly has the prerogative to act in any way she pleases, but this behavior is not prudent, appropriate, or conducive to a good relationship. I actually thought it came off looking desperate, and reeking of insecurity. But I guess it came her what she was desperately seeking. A momentary kinship, and common bond with bp, esp. bm. I absolutely love Halle. She's been my favorite actress for years, but I just thought this stunt was soooo beneath her. It almost felt like she was asking bm for forgiveness for having the temerity to put her own happiness first. Many times I've sensed an apology coming from her. For instance, when she was interviewed not too long ago, the reporter had the audacity to ask her why she was with a wm! She actually answered the question!!! Her responses was along the lines of "I tried brothers- I tried!! I Tried!! (insert nervous laugh) Her uncomfortable response only served to embolden the reported to delve further into her relationship.

See right there, she along with other bw, were being told they had no RIGHT to date/mate and marry white. What gives him the right to ask her that? Nobody needs to justify their relationship, including us. It seems to me when it's bm being interviewed about dating out, the sentiment from the reporters seems to be: Yeah, he likes her better'n yall-so just deal with it! But when it's a bw/non man the sentiment seems to be: How could you allow yourself to be defiled by a wm- and you better give a good damn answer -or your sister card will be revoked! I never allow anyone whether they approve or not to make me ashamed of my choice. I have a right to my own happiness. We all do. And Halle needs to understand that she does as well. If anything she should have given them an answer that would have really pissed them off. like- "Because he's the best man I've ever had!" or- " What! -he's white-oh my God he tricked me! The point is, she should not have allowed herself to feel guilt over a choice she made in her own best interest. None of us should. The fact is just as bw have to let go of bm (because we don't own them) They will subsequently have to let go of us-because they do not own us either. Ms Berry has no need to prove how black she is, or how down she is, or how much she loves bm. She has nothing to apologize for: And neither do any of you......

When ppl ask about your man, look them in the eye and answer proudly. Hold his hand proudly and walk with your head high and tall. Never fidget nervously or display nervous habits (biting nails, stroking hair, playing with purse straps. etc.) You have nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. You have a right to love whomever you love. If ppl sense an apology from you, they will waste no time trying to inundate you with guilt. That's why it is very important to work any guilt feelings out before you begin to introduce your mate around. Not only will they sense the guilt-embarrassment-apology. But he will as well, and it will often cause internal problems in the relationship (Even if he does not mention it at that time) It will still be there coming between you. So don't allow anyone to make you feel the need to apologize, the only thing
you should be sorry about is putting yourself last, and waiting so long to step out of the box....

144 comments:

Lena said...

I agree and Black men giving Halle grief over her husband being white are the very same hypocrites who chase after white women. Black men need to leave us alone about our choice of mates.

If I marry a white man no black man better give me grief or I'm gonna scream mind your own d*** business!

This is a perfect example of the sexist hypocrisy of the black community! Making black women feel bad for loving non-black men while black men are free to pursue non-black women.


I think Halle should tell the people getting on her case to back off!

LorMarie said...

Amen!! I've seen one too many bw in IR's who come up with all sorts of excuses as to why they were not with bm. It is as though these women feel guilty for it. That leads me to believe that bw have a long way to go. If those of us who are comfortable with our preferences speak out, more bw will do the same.

On another note, Halle Berry seems to like kissing men in front of audiences. I've seen her do it with two white men before and now a bm. I think it's just a stunt.

ezrascousin said...

Wow. I am saddened to see she would do this. Allowing him to grope her buttocks was really the limit. Hopefully she and Gabriel will communicate and it will never happen again. I wasn't keen on it, when that other actor did it, and I'm dead sent against it now. She needs to take back her body and not allow men in, on and around it whom she has not given specific permission to do so. As for that stupid reporter, she could have said 2 things A) I'm actually half white, so whether I date a white man or black man I'm dating within my "race", and B) I'm not dating a white man, I'm dating Gabriel, because I love him. Period. End. Stop.

Anonymous said...

I like Halle, but I am realy disappointed in her for kissing that ugly fool. Oh well, I guess the indocrination and programming to be eternally the Black man's slave is too much for a sista to overcome. It really is very sad.

Halima said...

It seems to me when it's bm being interviewed about dating out, the sentiment from the reporters seems to be: Yeah, he likes her better'n yall-so just deal with it! But when it's a bw/non man the sentiment seems to be: How could you allow yourself to be defiled by a wm

Yep you cracked it!

Supposing I wanted to Date a White Guy...?

Ann C. said...

Sara,

I haven't posted in a while, but I have defnitely been reading your blogs and comments. As always, your perception is right on.

I didn't know about the Jamie Foxx and Halle Berry incident. It is disturbing to say the least. First of all, Halle is what? 40 something years old and way too old to be acting like that on screen. The world already view BW as people who will easily drop their draws in a heartbeat and make babies. But letting someone, in particular, somebody of Jamie Foxx's caliber, grab her behind is ridiculous. And as far as her having to prove she is still down with BM, didn't Foxx just have a baby with a woman who isn't Black? I really don't see him explaining that to anybody including BW. Moreover, this is the second time I have read here that something like this happened that involved him. Did the young lady from Deal or No Deal say on his satellite radio station that she would never go for no pink penises when asked if she would ever be in a relationship with a WM? Yet, he is with a non-BW and got a baby by her? Sad.

I hope you don't mind, but I would like to pass on something I just read about. Jada Pickett-Smith is in a new cable show, HawthoRNe, which will debut on TNT. Her love interest will be Michael Vartan, who was also the love interest of Nia Long on the show Big Shots. It seems that BW and WM or non-BM love interest are just coming out in droves! And I am totally loving it!

Peace and Blessings,
Ann C.

Taylor-Sara said...

I don't mind at all Ann- and it's good to hear from you...

Aphrodite said...

I had no idea this happened. I am sick. Jaime Foxx....

Why Halle...why??

Lena said...

I consider myself blessed that my parents and siblings are more accepting of interracial love. I couldn't stand the idea of being restricted in my choice of a husband based on race.

I'm glad my parents don't embrace that black nationalist B.S. either! My parents praise individuality!
I think the group think mentality has proven to be damaging to black women and black men. Damaged Beyond Repair Black men are using the Black Nationalist mindset to enslave black women.

I can't stick by men who don't value or respect me. I'm not a glutton for punishment. I'm sensitive and I bruise too easily sorry. Take that strong black woman mess elsewhere!

arthur said...

If that's the way it went down, and unless something really unusual is going on, then I would say that Halle and Gabriel are through.

I don't think it's my place to comment much on things internal to the bc for obvious reasons, but I can talk about Gabriel. I don't see how he can take this. How can she explain it? Giving a kiss like that to another man in public, is a public statement that you're not getting what you need at home.

Who knows what the home situation was; you can have one partner not getting satisfaction in bed, but you deal with it or split up. Showing out like this on national TV is something the relationship can't come back from.

Not trying to put it all on Halle; maybe Gabriel has been cheating on her and this is her way of striking back. Either way, I give it 6 months at the most.

xoLDNrichSocialitexo said...

Sara...

Before you start jumping at my throat accusing me to be a DBM (or whatever term you and your followers use on this site... I mean wtf is a DBBM ow whatever. I mean come on mate?!) I am a woman and I am getting pretty tired of this, so I am here to state my Point of View.

This is just so stipid and you are really going to far. Okay, so Halle kisses Jamie Foxx.. so what? They can do whatever the hell they want to do and you don't have to stick your nose in it. Maybe it was all for publicity?! They are celebrities after all. Maybe it was all planned.
I mean come on, here you are sitting on your high horse going on about how Jamie Foxx is "revolting" whilst Gabriel is, maybe not in the exact term you used "gorgeous". I mean where the hell do you get off woman?! I really don't get this.
Don't get me wrong, I am all FOR interracial relationships and all that. Heck I came from one. But like don't hate on your own kind and praise the other. Do you bow down to white men or something. I really do not get you at times. I mean please!
So all black men are gross to you, whilst white men are God's gift or something? Do you have self hate issues? Did someone say something to you that turned you agaisnt black men? I would really like to know.
If white men were so great, why the fuck did slavery take place? Do you think all those black women liked that? Did they "worship the white man and kiss his ass" like you do eh? No!

And don't start saying that oh blah blah blah she hate white men and all that ghetto stuff because I do not. My own FATHER is white British/Italian, his father, my grandfather is white British, his mum my nana (grandma) is white Italian and my mother is black but is from Barbados , but she doesn't worship him. Yes, she loves and respects him, but does not worship him. Your obsession with white men is really alarming. I suggest you get some help love? Come to England, we will help you.

Take care... greeting from England.

From a upper middle class Socialite.
Xo
P.s- hope to hear from you soon love.

sky said...

annon c said..."Jada Pickett-Smith is in a new cable show, HawthoRNe, which will debut on TNT. Her love interest will be Michael Vartan, who was also the love interest of Nia Long on the show Big Shots. It seems that BW and WM or non-BM love interest are just coming out in droves! And I am totally loving it!"


thanks for telling us, i wasn't sure if i even wanted to see the show, because i had a feeling that they would make her out to be this savior doctor w/ no man no feelings for love. Now im interested in the show. it premieres this tuesday 9/8c so i'll be looking out for that! thanks again.

as far as halle berry.for as long as i've witnessed her she ALWAYS had to explain herself as to why things didn't work out between her and some guy. I don't see why she ever had to. it's her life. she should be more like beyonce, just shut up! keep your life private. to me this kiss meant nothing, it wasn't any different when Adrian Brody went and got his award and started kissing on Halle. Hell for all we know this could have been a stunt. Who watches the Spike TV Awards anyway? they had to generate something whether it was Jamie/whoever else. I wouldn't get to worked up over it, but I can see why.

Taylor-Sara said...

X-whatever name

SHE puts the WORLD's nose in it when she did it on national TV! Are you blind?
Of course it's her biz. I think I even said that in the post, but obviously you WANT ppl to talk if you are doing it publicly DUH! It's so stupid for you to think otherwise! And watch your damn mouth on my blog-how dare you bring that ghetto talk here. You are obviously lying about being a socialite as well-no upper echelon socialite would use such ghetto language as yours. And you are obviously classless in need of basic etiquette classes, and yet you claim to be a socialite. Ok, and I'm Princess Di. reincarnated...Get off your high horse. If I find J. foxx revolting (and many women do) that's my business! I don't care what color a woman is; Only a fool would kiss Jaime with Gabriel waiting at home for her! I love Halle but that's just stupid. Jaime looks like a cartoon Character! And as for help, perhaps since you're in England you could avail yourself to some. If this site gets you soooo upset-then why the hell are you here fool? Is someone holding a gun to your head forcing you to read? No, you came of your own free will. Please remember, this is MY site, and I will talk about whatever I want. That is the whole point in having your own blog! Why don't you start one. You can call it:
The Ghetto Socialite...

Delishmish said...

Hmmmmm....

First of all...X..no need to be so disrespectful to the blog owner. Surely you must see how you are coming across (regardless of the familiar cockney like tone you are attempting to use.) You are being much too familiar here in my opinion. Worse, it is undeserved because you clearly have not read this blog long enough to really know what is going on. In fact. I think you are quite rude. I truly dislike people who are overly familiar at the immediate outset of "meeting" them. It takes time to build a relationship. May I suggest you attempt to build a relationship before you come with your accusations......

I think Arthur is right about this one. Halle is at a stage when she does not have to appease anyone. She should be able to have the luxury of picking the roles she really wants to do, the kinds that actors like to sink their chops into..so to speak. She reminds me (in this act with the rather unappealing Jaime Foxx) of someone trying to get attention from her other half. There actually might be trouble at home, and she is sending a message to Gabriel. Halle would be better served to enter counseling. I am sure they have a relationship that is worth saving and nurturing, if only because of their child.
I just don't see any reason for her doing this. It has nothing to do with age. Even if the producer of this show requested this act, there are ways to show you are a "hot woman for the ages" (or whatever other similar title she was accepting) without degrading the real relationship you (meaning Halle of course) have at home.

Halima said...

Some bw just have a constant need to prove how non-self hating they are.

BORING!

Supposing I wanted to Date a White Guy...?

cool_splash1 said...

I don't see why she ever had to. it's her life. she should be more like beyonce, just shut up! keep your life private

Alicia Keys is this way as well. In fact there was a morning radio show DJ who even commented on why he liked her so much. The fact that she let it be done that her personal life is that personal. It's too bad many actors/actresses/singers/rappers etc. haven't figured this out. I mean seriously Janet was married for several years and the only reason people found out she was married was because she was getting a divorce.

Zindzi (aka BGP) said...

Wait, hasn't Halle made out with a dude before at an awards show? The woman seems incredibly happy with her new family, so I think we might be reading a bit too much into this.

Anonymous said...

ROTFLMAO @ the scatter-brained, upper middle-class socialite and that error-filled nonsense she posted.

Rashida said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Taylor-Sara said...

Deleted person, I told you before to get the hell off my site...

Anonymous said...

I was surprised to hear of this. Maybe it is just a stunt like Sasha Baron Cohen and EminM. If not I don't see how her current relationship can survive. How in the hell do you explain this to your mate? His hand is on her ass and her hand is on is crotch. Who in the right mind would risk a relationship with a gorgeous model for skank ass Jamie Foxx?

Lips

GoldenAh said...

Nearly everyone's observations hit the target: it is a publicity stunt, Halle is immeasurably insecure, and she is (for some reason) deciding that Gabriel has to understand he doesn't "control her", although what she does seek is control. We have the same birthday, so I sorta get that about her. I hope he understands her well enough to know that she desires for him to tell her where the line / limit is, 'cause she's pushing for it. My guess is that he's too lax (nice) with her.

I shrug my shoulders at this situation. Although I do recoil in horror at the pictures: Jamie Foxx? No. Ewww!

There are very few people attracted to the media limelight that I would consider well-adjusted and normal. You have to be a card short of a full deck to want to be "famous."

She has to realize she's a mother now. Time to pack it up, and show some class. There are more than enough crazy children of famous people already.

Velvet Queen said...

Well, personally I think its a publicity stunt. That's the only way this rubs off on me as...publicity stunt.

Although, I agree....quite distasteful. I guess maybe because of the guy she's kissing? Maybe it wouldn't be too bad if he didn't have such a nasty reputation. My opinion anyways...

But when I first saw this I wasn't too concerned....publicity stunt.

But I still think it was a very bad idea.

Alta said...

Yeah, Halle has done this before with Adrian Brody, but was she in a relationship at the time? I honestly don't know. I really hope Gabriel knew this was coming up. I always hate when these celebrities kiss each other at these award shows. It's just so tawdry. And I can't even imagine someone being disrespectful enough to ask Halle to do this stunt (if that's what it was), knowing she's in a relationship. But that's hollywood.

Thank you for bringing up that Black women should not apologize for being with non-Black men. Apologize for what?

And I cosign that Jamie Foxx is ugly. I can't believe he grabbed her butt. How freakin' disrespectful. She's in a relationship you inconsiderate fool! It just occured to me that he probably wouldn't have touched her butt if her boyfriend was black. He might have still kissed her, but he wouldn't have touched her butt.

Taylor-Sara said...

Rashida,
we all suspected your motives since your last few posts. esp. when you suggested that bw did not deserve husbands, and why did I think they deserved anything at all. (along with alot of other ridiculous, and offensive comments) At that point, I think we all knew you did not belong here. And that is why you were asked to go away. That is also why I deleted you in que, so I have no idea what comment you keep trying to make. But based on your previous ones, I'm sure it's nothing that will be enlightening on this forum. Thank you anyway...

Anonymous said...

It's amazing that this Rashida person doesn't see how highly offensive her post was if she is really a man, but even worse if she is actually a woman. Did she think that by posting her anti-BW sentiments under a feminine username that the posters here would be high fiving her in agreement?! If so, then "she" really needs to go back and get better instructions from the supposedly superior minds of her Negro male handlers.

Lavette said...

YUCK!.......Is all I can say at this picture. I honestly just don't get Halle sometimes its like she is looking to fill a void somewhere.

Selena said...

Actually Halle's hand is not on his crotch. She had her hand on his leg to give the impression that she was grabbing his "junk". From what I read, that particular award show's whole premise is raunchy and caters towards men. Each year A-listed celebrities come out on stage and do something over the top. Now the a** grabbing is another story.

*shrug*

Anonymous said...

Sara-

Thanks for throwing Rashid off of your site. He is an idiot and should continue to play with MLQ and the rest of his co-signing idiot posse!

Lol!

Keep up the great work Sara!

Anonymous said...

I hope this was a publicity stunt, because if it is not then i can't see the relationship lasting a long time.

Anonymous said...

Selena, ITA it's all for show and jokes. Similar to the MTV awards when Bruno landed in Eminems face. All that was an elaborate joke. Halle and Jamie are just making fun of the Oscar kiss when that guy grabbed and kissed Halle. Also Robin Williams once grabbed Halle at an awards show also. It should be noted that at the same awards show Brad Pitt called Mel Gibson "sugar tits". As for Gabriel...the man is also a model and he is with beautiful men and women all day long. I'm sure a silly award's show joke would'nt make him feel insecure.

Pamela said...

Halle is an entertainer. Sad to say a very insecure one like probably many in the industry. I totally agree with the perception being presented here. The fact that this may be a publicity stunt is not relevant to me. It is being communicated to SOME that she is apologizing for being with a wm. That is the issue. When we are with someone we should be proud at the fact. Communicating otherwise can severely hurt the relationship. Trust is everything. Even if this was a publicity stunt that incident could play in the mind later if problems arise. It is just best to not do things like that with other people regardless of the intent if you are indeed in love with someone. You should be willing to protect what you have if you really value it. Hopefully she does, especially since she is a mother of his child.

I will NEVER apologize for dating/marrying a wm or any man for that matter. That is my business. If I am asked about it I will boldy say that he is the hottest, most manly one I have ever been around. My guess is that he may jump in before I get a chance to respond. He is pretty bold about these issues which is something to watch. I have made it really clear how I feel about him and will boldly say so if need be.

Anonymous said...

Halle likes to please people. She really could learn from these bw bloggers. Her self confidence needs to be built up.

a.

Allegra said...

And what about her daughter, Nahla? Sometimes, children can be mean to each other. Does she want this thrown up in her daughter's face? I know it will be a few years before she goes to school, but because of the internet and media, this stunt can come back to haunt her and her daughter.

Tima said...

I did't find the kiss revolting because of Jamie Foxx. I found it revolting because Halle should be classier than that, with any man, regardless of color. Jamie is not my cup of tea however. Denzel, Taye, almost anyone, would've been better and they probably wouldn't have grabbed her like that.

I doubt that a white actress of Halle's age, status (she's a mother) and acting caliber would've done something like that. Sometimes I think black celebrities feel they have to be extra lewd just to seem "down". It's silly and unnecessary.

The one thing I will say is imagine if the tables were slightly turned meaning she had a black man at home and she kissed a white actor on stage ... Ooh-wee, "the brothers" would go biserk! Lol, it's whatever, Halle can kiss whoever she wants, how, when, and where. It's not like she's the Black Woman's ambassador, no matter how some people might try to make her seem that way. She's confused (she wants respect but then carries on like this on stage); she's a mother, not some rowdy young teen starlet

Taylor-Sara said...

Tima
I never thought of that! but I can't imagine how they would act like fools if she kissed a wm, and had a bm at home! I think they'd be ready to string her up! But they were endosing this mess.
But ladies it's important to understand that this NOT nec. about Halle. she was just an example. The point of the post is: Don't apologize for your relationship, and how do you respond if ppl try to get you to apologize. I just used Halle's example because I felt like that is exactly what she was doing.
I mean come on-why else would she have put on this 'display'

But I know someone who's marriage broke up because whenever she was out with hubby, and bm glared at her, she would move away from her husband and look ashamed. He saw it as her being embarrassed and after years of this eventually divorced her. She was crying about it for months afterwards, and admitted that the bm who had shown so much animus when she was with her husband, went back to ignoring her when she was alone.... So the real question is: How do you handle it when ppl expect an apology from you, and what do you say to them instead....

Anonymous said...

@Taylor-Sara

"She was crying about it for months afterwards, and admitted that the bm who had shown so much animus when she was with her husband, went back to ignoring her when she was alone...."

LOL. What a piece of joke. She didnt get a divorce to go chasing after the bm. It was her wm who left her for being ashamed of being seen together. So after crying over the wm for months, she then talks about the bm who gave her dirty looks, as not wanting her. Why should he want her? Should the bm be a fool to want a woman who doesn't want him? It's the wm she wanted. Further to that, if the bm saw her as a race traitor for marrying a wm, why should he now see her as being anything different now that the wm dumped her for being embarrassed about the relationship? A big joke indeed. LOL.

Pamela said...

The underlying issue is control. If a person can be controlled a controller will find them and do what they can do to control them. Anyone that feels pressure to conform to what others want will be controlled in any area, not just the issue mentioned here.

In a nutshell a bw has to decide if she is going to be controlled or not. It does not matter by whom or if their intentions may be good. If she has decided not to be controlled the only right answer to those that insist that she apologizes for being in an IR relationship is to tell them to leave her alone and let her live her life.

This response can come in different forms:

If the person making this demand has a life that has gone to hell over and over again, just throw their own life back at them and demand they apologize.

If the person sincerely believes that there is a problem (and not maybe trying to control the person) the bw can sensibly explain the error of their ways. If they do not stop basically tell them to mind their own business.

If you are a more aggressive person you can just go ghetto or however you want to strongly express yourself to the point where they are shamed enough to never think of trying that again.

I have not had to deal with this at this point. If I do I will strongly state something that communicates strongly that they are full of crap enough times until they realize they will not get another answer from me. I will be left alone when I get done with them.

Controllers will only control those that allow them to. A person that will not submit to a controller will NEVER apologize for doing any good thing regardless of what it is or who is speaking. BW that are considering IR relationships better have spines of steel or stay out of them.

I guess you can say I do not get along with controllers. That is fine with me. They do not stay in my life long. I make sure of that.

S said...

I was just disapointed by this "stunt" halle and jamie pulled because it gives black men yet another reason to say "see ,even though she's with a wm, we still own her!" and it makes me sick.
I don't care if she has done it before or if it was for laughs or whatever the hell the excuse is, bottom line is - she did it. She did it and no matter what or how you'd like to put it - she has made black women look bad or should i say , worse?
I know it's not her job or role to represent all black women nor do i want her to represent the rest of us but who do we have? Halle is the biggest black female star/actress in hollywood, people look at her and see a black woman and that's that.
Someone said it best : we are either whores or mammys.
I thought "finally, halle got it! MOST black men ARE useless" and she looks so happy in pics with Gabriel and her baby girl and then she does something as tacky and tasteless as this!? i mean, come on...you would be lying if you said you weren't a bit angry or disappointed.
It is her life, her business...yada yada yada, i get it but still.
First her Essence interview were she basically apologized for being with a white man and now this.
I don't get why black women are so damn scared of black men or feel so loyal to them, the hell with them! they do not own us.
I wish i could tell Halle to stop being such a black man ass kisser, i wonder if she knows how black women feel about her being such an apologist when it comes to her relationship with Gabriel, she's not exactly making it easier for BW/WM irr, people already think we LOVE BM more than ourselves.

That's why i love Lisa Bonet.
When she was on the cosby show and still to this day, she didn't give a damn what people thought about who she dated, she is now with a handsome hawaiin guy and never have i heard her apologize for being with him.
People (black men) called her a "slut" a "white man worshipper" etc but she didin't give a damn! and her daughter must have taken after her because zoe kravitz is dating white guys, i have never seen her with a non white guy, ever.

halle should take after Lisa and start not giving a damn.

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...
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MissVogue said...

Hey Sara just have to say I applaud you on this post, it really hits the nail. Why should bw have to appologise to the bc when bm can get away with being in a IR and a BW can't? Heck, they can get away with murder and still no one (in BC) will bat an eyelash (lol).
Now being in the UK, I haven't watched the show but come on Halle, that is pretty gross as a married woman kissing another man, although I like J.F. but if Gabe knew then okay fair play but if he didn't, then Halle made her self look like a fool and a wee bit loose.
Okay next, this is directed to the so called Socialite (yeah right!)..who rattled you boat love?! Okay Sara, not everyone on the UK is like this fool. I am actually ashamed to even come from the same place as you (socialite person). You just represent some of the low class trash that we have in the UK so lol @ you!
The only thing that I slightly agree with that person's post and another person is that i t might have been a stunt, we all know celebrities when it comes to stunts just for attention, how low they will go. Btw that Eminem & Sacha thing in my opinion was funny, but hey...
So Sara love all I have to say is that keep your head up and ignore ignorant so and sos like Socialite man/woman (she could be a man pretending to be a woman for all we know). I enjoy your posts and well keep up the good work!

<3

Lola said...

Ok. I have problems login in, but anyway, this is me Lola. Missed you guys so much. I've been really busy these months, so I haven't had the time to post comments but I still read the blog when I have the time.

Halle Berry is weak and stupid. Period, point blank. And I'm not gonna sympathize at all if she loses Gabriel. She has no excuse! We're talking about a 40 year old woman, not a teen, not a very young adult, but a grown woman who's been there done that, and is raising a DAUGHTER. If she has no backbone at that age, guess what kind of girl her child is most likely to become? How you're gonna kiss a J. Fox when you have smoking hot Gabriel FREAKING Aubrey at home? And allow this idiotic fool to grab your butt on national TV? And Jamie Foxx of all people? Get the EFF outta here! I'd still see it as stupid had it been any other man of any race, but Jamie is one of the most disrespectful men I know towards bw. I'm so damn tired of this. This stunt spread the message that "BW still think of BM even when they're with the hottest non-BM", what do YOU THINK NON-BM thought after seeing this? What do you think it did to BM's ego and image as a whole? And do you think BW's image got better? One of the least appealing BM could grab the butt of and frenchkiss a BW dating one of the sexiest non-bm of this planet. Goodness, I'm gonna throw up. You'd NEVER see Heidi Klum pull a stunt like this, why? Cause she don't care if some people don't agree with her choices.

I could never be in a relationship with a non-black man who feels "guilty of betrayal" when he's with me, so how do you think Gabriel feels?

Black women need to stop feeling the need to apologize, you didn't kill anyone, and that's one of the reasons our group as a whole may turn some men off, some of you still have the "ghost of a black man" in your relationships. You have white and asian women being unapologetic about their preferences, NO MATTER WHAT ANYONE SAYS. Aubrey from Danity Kane saying on national TV that she adores BM, Kim Kardashian dating exclusively BM, do you hear her say "well I tried arab men?? well I still got love from my arab brothers?". But BW are still like mentionning their "love for the brothers"...WHO FREAKING CARES IF YOU'RE NOT EXCLUSIVELY ATTRACTED TO BM, or NOT AT ALL???? Gosh, grow up!

Halle Berry, I'm done defending her. I'll big her up again when she starts bigging herself up. At that age, after all she's been through, this is purely pathetic.

Taylor-Sara said...

Sadly, lola
I have to agree with you. You hit the nail on the head. And it does do our relationships a big disservice because she IS who she is. She's like the biggest bw star out there. For her to blatantly disrespect her man like this is almost tantamount to saying. "well, I just can't resist a black man!" or that's how it will likely be taken. And bm are already throwing it in the faces of Gabriel and other wm. Making statements to the effect of:
"See, sistahs always want us-even when they're supposed to be with you!!!"
And it was sooooo disrespectful for him to grab her butt! I'm still gagging at the sight of that! If it was a stunt, it was a terrible idea.... I still love Halle, but I'm bitterly disappointed in her, and would not be surprised at all if she lost that gorgeous hunk of man....

Bw have GOT to lose this, 'I must make brothers understand why I did what I did!" Brothers do not have to understand a damn thing! You have a RIGHT to live anyway you want!!!

cool_splash1 said...

LOL. What a piece of joke. She didnt get a divorce to go chasing after the bm. It was her wm who left her for being ashamed of being seen together. So after crying over the wm for months, she then talks about the bm who gave her dirty looks, as not wanting her. Why should he want her? Should the bm be a fool to want a woman who doesn't want him? It's the wm she wanted. Further to that, if the bm saw her as a race traitor for marrying a wm, why should he now see her as being anything different now that the wm dumped her for being embarrassed about the relationship? A big joke indeed. LOL.

Anon how would most other bm know that she was with a wm? The point that is being made is the same bm that would go on about why you think bm are beneath you etc wouldn't give her the time of day unless they saw her with a wm or other. Not only that most of these guys date outside of their race, but want to make a black women feel guilty like she sold out.

Clarice said...

xoLDNrichSocialitexo said...This is just so stipid and you are really going to far. Okay, so Halle kisses Jamie Foxx.. so what? They can do whatever the hell they want to do and you don't have to stick your nose in it. Maybe it was all for publicity?! They are celebrities after all. Maybe it was all planned.

Personally I do not care who kisses who - whatever but Sara makes a valid point about it being disrespectful of the person in her life and herself. No man regardless of color wants another man pawing his lady/wife/mother of his child - - even if it is for a publicity stunt and quite frankly no woman wants to be groped, as a publicity stunt if that is what it in fact was. This is a blog encouraging women to seek out quality relationships and situations. Sara is dead on point out this shabby behavior. As a celebrity Halle does do publicity events, but there needs to be line between personal and professional and it is sad to see a woman potentially sacrifice a personally meaningful relationship merely for $$ or a career. The lesson learned here is think about your choices and how they impact what is most meaningful for you and your life. Do not sacrifice personal happiness for money - somethings are not worth the trade off. Women have the right to their choices and to be happy. In order to be happy women have to make choices that serve their own interests and protect what is meaningful for them. On the face of it this behavior on the part of Halle whether it is real or a PR ploy is a bad choice and does not appear to serve her best interest.

Personnally because my relationship is precious I would not kiss a man or allow myself to be kissed or groped in that manner because it shows a lack of respect for the relationship and what I value most. My life my choice. As I see it a publicity stunt is not worth disrespecting, myself, a relationship or person I value.

Sara is doing a service pointing this out so the readers here will think before they make choices and act in their own best interest - keep it up.

V/r

Clarice

Anonymous said...

All three of them, Berry, Aubrey and Fox, are professional entertainers/actors and, as such, should have the ability to fully separate sex/loves scenes from real life flirting or infidelity. The fact that this took place on an awards show rather than a movie screen doesn't make it any less of an acting job.

I doubt Gabriel Aubrey even broke a sweat over it.

Anonymous said...

I'm a big fan of Halle's too but I must admit that I was really surprised and deeply disappointed in her display. Not only is it disrespectful to Gabriel but it makes her look pretty pathetic. I just hope she discussed with Gabriel what she planned to do before she did it. Also, she's been quoted a lot as saying that she only wants to take roles that will make her daughter proud of her. I can't imagine that happening with this tawdry display.

Anonymous said...

I don't get how this was disrespectful at all. It was a joke and a spoof on the many times Halle was mauled at legit award shows. Maybe if she was in an alley kissing Jamie I could get the outrage but it was an award show joke like when Queen Latifah and Adrian Brody made out spoofing the kiss between Adrien and Halle. They do this all the time on joke award shows.

Lorraine said...

Well,

Let's remember that Halle did a scene in "Monsters Ball" that I heard about because I refused to see it. But looking at some of her other roles, I think this was a stunt. But I also think she failed to realize that Spike and his ilk were getting a jab at her relationship by the mere suggestion that she do this.

Oh yeah all in fun and games, but wink wink here. Maybe it's just me (and a few of you) who see that underlying issue here is bm getting back at the sisters in bw/ww unions. I don't know of any black or white actress with a bm who would do this even as a stunt. I could be wrong, but they wouldn't even suggest it and would not have with Halle either if she was with a bm. He wouldn't have it. But again, think this was worked out ahead of time. Halle is a good actress so I think this was an act. In poor taste, but an act nonetheless.

Taylor-Sara said...

Anon you are certainly entitled to your opinion, but I never let my male friends grab my behind, joke or not-that's long past the funny line....

Anonymous said...

I like Halle, but I am realy disappointed in her for kissing that ugly fool. Oh well, I guess the indocrination and programming to be eternally the Black man's slave is too much for a sista to overcome. It really is very sad.

____________________

girl you aint never lied. and how do bw get rewarded for this zombie-like-obsession with those black males??? by being the POOREST and MOST unpartned group of women on the planet.

SMH A lot of us really need to get an effing clue.

LorMarie said...

I don't get why black women are so damn scared of black men or feel so loyal to them, the hell with them! they do not own us.
I wish i could tell Halle to stop being such a black man ass kisser...--S


My sentiments exactly. Frankly, black women who fit the above description annoy the heck out of me just as much as the dbr males.

Anonymous said...

"Oh well, I guess the indocrination and programming to be eternally the Black man's slave is too much for a sista to overcome. It really is very sad."

And who's doing these "indocrination and programming" to make bw a slave to bm? Everywhere in society the black woman is better off than the black man, so how could the one that is more empowered be slave to the one who is less empowered? You never cease to spout your anti-black family garbage.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

@Lorraine

"Maybe it's just me (and a few of you) who see that underlying issue here is bm getting back at the sisters in bw/ww unions."

How would black men hurt Halle's career? Do black men have that kind of power in Hollywood? You people are suffering from hysteria. You are so at war with black men, you can only interpret Halle's own behavior as a capitulation to the desires and approval of black men.

Taylor-Sara said...

Anon. Lorraine did not say that bm could hurt Halle's career. She said that the underlying issue was to get back at sisters in IR unions. And that IS an underlying issue. I beleive that was a major factor in them asking her to play this supposed 'joke'. Do you think for one minute if Halle's man had been black, that they would ever have even 'allowed' her to kiss a wh. man and let him grope her butt? It would have NEVER happened esp. in front of the whole world! Do you thick Gabriel thought it was a cute little innocent joke? I'm betting he most certainly did not. Now think of it this way. If it had been your man, would he consider it a joke, or a slap in the face?
If any men are listening-tell us what you think......

Anonymous said...

@Taylor-Sara

"If any men are listening-tell us what you think......"

The last 3 comments above yours was posted by a man, who happens to be me. From time to time you ask us for comments, but delete the ones you don't like. Like what you did above. What's up with that?

As for Halle, what she did had nothing to do with "bm getting back at the sisters in bw/ww unions." Where is the evidence that bm conspired against Halle because she was having a family with a wm? What went down was nothing but hype for publicity and ratings. If her boyfriend is upset about a man groping her butt on tv, then he must also be mad about her performance in Monster's Ball. She showed skin and simulated sex, and acted like she was having the most intense orgasms. That's what she does for a living. It's called showbiz... btw, Jamie Foxx doing what he did, actually endorsed Halle as still having sex appeal and popularity among black men. Believe it or not.

Taylor-Sara said...

Anon. I was talking about white/non blk men. This is an interracial board you know. I can tell just from your post -you are a bm. And the reason I deleted the post above was because it was totally unrelated to the discussion...

Taylor-Sara said...

OMG! give me a break! If you have to let some ugly ass actor grab your butt on national tv for ppl to consider you as having sex appeal, then who the hell wants it! That remark is ridiculous. As for her acting. That's one thing, that's what actors do, but the awards show, is something else. All you have to do is go up on stage and get your award. There is no need for anyone to paw you....

Lola said...

Jamie Foxx doing what he did, actually endorsed Halle as still having sex appeal and popularity among black men. Believe it or not.

WHO THE FCK IS JAMIE FOX next to Halle? She's a bigger star than Jamie, she doesn't need Jamie to be "endorsed". The simple fact that she's with a sexy man YOUNGER than she is, and was crowned sexiest woman in the world by Esquire Magazine at age 40 with a child, already speaks volumes about her sex appeal, popularity and sex symbol status as a world wide superstar. People do stunts when they need them for popularity, she clearly didn't need it for her career. Popularity amongst BM, who cares if she still appeals to BM or not? Sorry to burst your bubble, but NOBODY CARES. Her desirability to BM will not make or break her career, most men in all communities in the USA and around the world desire her and find her flawless. So this stunt was useless, cause it couldn't have given her any "good publicity" for her sex appeal and mainstream popularity (which is what stunts like these are for). So why did she do it? This stunt was simply about HER OWN insecurities with the BC, she felt the need to "prove that she's still got love for the brothers, she's still black, she still deserves the 'good sistah' pass". Let's be real here!

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

If any men are listening-tell us what you think......

-----------------------------------

I'm not a man but I think the entire incident has been blown entirely out of proportion.

Can you say PUBLICITY STUNT???...Thought you could because that's all this was. A way for Spike TV to get the world talking about their award show. And lo and behold it worked because the two things everyone was talking about the next day after the show aired was Halle & Jaime and Brad Pitt calling Mel Gibson "sugar tits" after he accepted his award from Mel.

I can pretty much guarantee you Halle told her boyfriend Gabriel exactly what she was going to do before she did it. I highly doubt he was in the dark about it and didn't have a problem with it. He's involved with an actress. He understands that she has to make out/make fake love to her co-stars all of the time. Its part of the job and comes with the territory.
Halle has stated that she was taken completely by surprise when Adrien Brody kissed her at the Oscars and Eric Benet (her husband at the time) was NOT happy about it because he thought that Adrien was being disrespectful of Halle and also extremely disrespectful of him. I loathe Eric Benet but I completely understand his point. I'm sure he was aghast at the fact that this white man thought he could start making out with Halle like it was nothing with her husband sitting right there in the front row.

The "makeout" session with Jaime was well planned out beforehand. Do not think for one second that entire display was one of spontaniety...it wasn't. Halle didn't grab onto Jaime's "junk" as some people have speculated. I watched the show. Its obvious that Halle's hand is on his thigh...as close to Jaime's junk as possible, but not touching it.

I do think however Halle is one of these black women in an interracial relationship who feel the need to let the brothas know she is still "down" with them. Why she feels the need to do this I have no idea but I have a feeling that all of the backlash she got from her love scene in "Monster's Ball" (another example of something being completely blown out of proportion) from the male members of BTB Inc. (Blacker Than Black Incorportated) had something to do with it.

Anonymous said...

@Taylor-Sara

"Anon. I was talking about white/non blk men. This is an interracial board you know."

You mean when you said "If any men are listening-tell us what you think......" you were only inviting comments from white and other none black men? I guess black men are not a part of "any men." Wow. A lesson just learned.

"OMG! give me a break! If you have to let some ugly ass actor grab your butt on national tv for ppl to consider you as having sex appeal, then who the hell wants it! That remark is ridiculous. As for her acting. That's one thing, that's what actors do, but the awards show, is something else. All you have to do is go up on stage and get your award. There is no need for anyone to paw you...."

Still, no conspiracy by black men to do her any ill will.

Alta said...

Taylor-Sara said: OMG! give me a break! If you have to let some ugly ass actor grab your butt on national tv for ppl to consider you as having sex appeal, then who the hell wants it!
-------

Word. And why the hell is Halle still having sex appeal and popularity among black men so damn important? Who cares? Aren't most of her fans women? I know we always hear about how hot the men think she is, but aren't most of her fans women?

Lola said:We're talking about a 40 year old woman, not a teen, not a very young adult, but a grown woman who's been there done that, and is raising a DAUGHTER. If she has no backbone at that age, guess what kind of girl her child is most likely to become?
-----

Didn't Halle have issues throughout her life about her biracial identity and how she was made to feel like an outsider because of it? Isn't that why she married those two guys? To seem down among the black people? I've heard this before. I thought she was over that. I still think this was a stunt, but if she's not over those issues, that might explain why she agreed to do it. And out of all of the bw who went to that award show, they had to ask Halle to do it?

Black women should not feel the need to apologize for being with a non-black man. If you feel that need, then that means you still care about what people WHO KNOW NOTHING ABOUT YOU OTHER THAN YOUR SKIN COLOR think, and that means you're not ready to be in an interracial relationship.

Taylor-Sara said...

Anon, I guess you posting repeatedly on a blog made for BW means YOU have no life! I have a million and one things going on in my life, I simply set aside a few hours per wk to do a post. Everytime I try to let yall into the discussion, you want to find a way to put bw down, and then wonder why you get deleted. Do me a favor, and go back to the bm/ww boards....

Anonymous said...

I too was disgusted by what i saw in that picture. Not to mention, he was openly groping her bottom for the world to see. Not a good example at all...I don't know if she's going through a midlife crisis ow whatever you want to call it but I hope she doesn't sabotage a perfectly great relationship with Gabe. I know plenty of women, of all colors, who would love to snatch him away from Halle. I hope she doesn't give him a reason to question the relationship. I mean Halle won't even marry a perfectly fine quality gentleman, now she's carrying on like a plum fool! okay, I'm finished venting.

Anonymous said...

me and my girlfriend broke it off becuase of this type of guilt to the black community (her mother). we've havn't dated long as some of you girls know, but I decided to take her over to my mother and father house for dinner. my little sister came over too, and they all loved her. my mother said she was so releaved I finally had a girlfriend (for some reason they think I'm into guys, lol), and they hoped to see her more often.
eevrything was going perfect, then she took me to meet her family the other night. her sisters and grandfather were really nice and welcoming, her mother seemed that way as well. after dinner her mother called her into the kitchun to have a talk and clean dishes together, I offered to help, but the mother insisted I go in the toher room and watch TV with the grandfather. well... I overheard the conversation, and it was pressuring to her to say the lest. her mother seemed pissed about me being white and even remarked "I never wanted any of my duaghters to be some white man's house n*****"... I felt awfult her mother said that but was hopful she wouldn't mind what her mother thinks.
well, I was wrong, we had a long conversation about it and decided its best to be just friends.

BTW
halle was one of my favorite actressess. :( I didn't know she had issues of this sort.

Anonymous said...

^above post was Evan... sorry for forgettign to sign my name and have to double post again.

Ava said...

Amen and that is exactly why that fool did that to her. When you look at his daughter (Jaimie Fox) she looks like she is half white. I used to be the same way apologetic. Hell I used to feel guilty even walking to lunch with a white guy. Now I dont care anymore. I dont even pay anyone any attention anymore. Life is tooooooo short!!! These negroes have no respect for you anyway. But I will be aware of these negroes trying to disrespect me when I am out with a white man!

Taylor-Sara said...

ahhhh Evan. So sorry. I know how much you like her. Some women unfortunately are going to let what other bp (esp) family ruin their good thing, and all you can do is find someone who has the strength to stand on her own two feet...There IS alot of pressure on bw to never step out of the box, but I cannot believe ww are not getting the same pressure from their side, and yet they openly declare their attraction to bm all the time. Bw better wake up!

Anonymous said...

Halle is a woman who has dared to break the mold, she was with Gabriel and her family the day before the award show. Her boyfriend is a model for Calvin Klein and we all know how racy those CK ads are. They both know that sex and sex appeal are a part of the game. I just dont feel Halle deserves our disdain but support because she broke free of the nothing but a black man myth. Besides rumors are that Jamie bats for the other team anyway.

Mary said...

yeah, this is beyond disrespectful, i just cringe thinking about my SO doing something even halfway this retarded. I bet her husband/partner felt sick watching that, nothing is worth that kind of disrespect, that. anyways, i don't get it but I have a biracial cousin who for some bizarre reason said something like "i feel like i have to date them to give them (bm) a chance to prove themselves. there has to be good ones out there." okay??!!!???

cool_splash1 said...

I officially have a new fave in Hawthorne

cool_splash1 said...

That's sad. The thing is she is letting family dictate her love life when it's her life. These same people will go on about how bm today are acting like this and that, treating bw horribly, but then telling their daughters to becareful and find a good man. When they do they get pissed because it's not what they want. To hell with what they want. They are not the ones that have to live with the decision.

There are many women in my family my mom included that listened to their mothers, fathers etc. when they dated outside of their race and thought back and said I should have listened to my, because in the end it's my life.

Anonymous said...

Halle Berry has ALWAYS let the media into her love life even when she was with black men. She seemed always to want everyone to know what she was doing and why. Like a soap opera heroine.

Halle is 40+ years old. For a Hollywood actress that is "over the hill" as far as leading roles are concerned. She'll be lucky if she can get good character parts at her age. I think she's desperate for publicity, although how this type of publicity can help her career I have no idea.

A Hollywood actress who wants to be treated with respect, does not allow a man to grab her behind in public (when she supposedly has a man at home) UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.

Can you imagine a white actress allowing herself to be put into such a compromising position in public?

Ronnie said...

Well, I thought Jamiee Foxx likes the white gurls to begin with??? He, like other R&B male artists and rappers, put up a front to keep $ from their Black female audience comin' in. Bein' disappointed in Halle? What's to be disappointed in? I don't get it...

cool_splash1 said...

http://www.dynasty8.com/Home.html OMG the Last Dragon dude is a child from bw/wm. Wow! I had a crush on him even though that movie is hella cheesy.

The 70's 80's 90's seemed like it was going somewhere in racial relations.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

"Well, I thought Jamiee Foxx likes the white gurls to begin with??? He, like other R&B male artists and rappers, put up a front to keep $ from their Black female audience comin' in.... Bein' disappointed in Halle? What's to be disappointed in? I don't get it..."

Jamie Foxx like other R&B male artist, rappers, and athletes is a switch hitter.

On the DL.

He's been batting for the other team for ages and it's well known in certain circles.

http://wendyista.blogspot.com/2009/05/jamie-foxxs-alleged-gay-lifestyle.html

Karrine Steffans even called him on it...

As for Halle, she needs serious counseling. To allow herself to be degraded like that publicly when she has fine a** Gabriel at home...SMH

That child is NUTS.

Anonymous said...

Wow, I saw Halle and Jamie on tv last night. Boy, that was some kiss. No wonder you ladies are so upset. I like Halle and no I do not think she needed to be that passionate about her kiss with Jamie. I hope Gabriel will ignore all of those negative comments about Halle and Jamie. It was a stunt and nothing else.

a.

lisablisa said...

i know this entry is more about bw apologizing for our relationships with non-bm but most of the comments I've read have been about Halle on the awards show and perhaps someone has already brought this point up; I apologize for mentioning it again if it was raised earlier. Where was the outrage and disgust when Adrian Brody (sp) grabbed Halle and planted a kiss on the lips in front of not a paying cable audience but the freaking Oscar's in front of her husband at the time Eric (loser yes but husband nontheless) Benet? I thought is was a cheap shot and incredibly disrespectful to Halle, women of color,women period and to her husband because it suggested control and dominance over a woman of color. It was just as wrong when Adrian Brody treated her like a piece of meat on national television as it was for Jamie Fox to disrespected her; I don't quite understand why there wasn't outrage or at least discomfort with the Adrian B. incident it was certainly a larger more sophisticated audience. I hate to see any woman publicly disrespected whether I like the actor/personality showing disrespect or not, both men showed a lack of respect toward Halle and both should have been called on it.

Taylor-Sara said...

Well Lisa, you are 100% correct. But I never heard of that incident until this one occured. But yes, I think that's just as reprehensible. I don't like the undelying theme of that
Brody:
(I can treat of WOC any way I want, and even take unauthorized liberties in front of her husband!)

any more than I do this one:

Jaime: (I'll just treat her like an all out hoe, and piss the wb off at the same time)

Halle has to start taking her power back. I learned a long time ago, men will treat you as shabbily as you let them....

Carib.girl said...

What is going on with Halle kissing all these men on award shows. I mean, I agree with Lola--You have hot azz Gabriel FREAKING Aubry at home...wtf? If I didn't have my amazing boyfriend, I would surely snatch that fine, yummy, gorgeous [licking lips] Gabriel up.
I think Halle definitely has some problems going on. She's been in several abusive relationships, whether it be physically, emotionally or verbally. She needs counseling.
And 'S', I couldn't agree with you more.

FunkyStarkitty50 said...

I thought it was tacky, but I understand that it was a publicity stunt. I don't find Jaime attractive at all, even though some women do. I got more out of her kiss with Adrien Brody, personally. But in regard to the Essence article that she did, she should be proud of the man that she is with and not sound like she is making excuses for being with him because BM just didn't work out for him. It sounds like he was her second choice. No man wants to be that. I'll tell anyone that I prefer WM and I don't care who knows. I'm not making any excuses for anything and if some BW were honest, they would do the same.

Cdnblackchick said...

I agree that we need to stop apologizing for expanding our dating pool beyond bm. Walk proudly and confidently beside the man of your dreams for the whole world to see.

As a side note, I had an interesting experience. My friend (ww) offered to drive me home after a meeting. Her boyfriend (bm) picked us up. When I got into the car, I smiled and said hello to her boyfriend. This was met with rude silence and no acknowledgement. He only grunted a response in my direction when my friend got into the car and made the introductions. Throughout the ride, he only communicated with my friend. When I was dropped off, I thanked him for the ride and again I was met with rude silence. Why cannot these men be civil?

Anonymous said...

I'm sure the disappointment is pretty equal on both sides in that there are probably a lot of bm who aren't too happy to see Jamie Foxx slobbering all over Halle Berry, either. Jamie Foxx (along with Seal and a few others) is one of the bm that IR black guys love to brag about because he is known to have dated ww other than the half ton, butt ugly, white cougars many IR bm end up with.

These bm identify with and take personal pride in black men who can pull a beautiful white woman that most any man, regardless of race, would also want for himself. They may also be taking this kiss as some sort of apology to bw for Jamie having dated white women.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
energize said...

Cdnblackchick said Why cannot these men be civil?
-------
I would be very leery to be with a man (regardless of race) who would show such rudeness and disdain towards a COMPLETE stranger whom he just met. There was some deep issues with that behavior.His reaction could possibly be based upon a conversation the couple had prior to him meeting you. If not, that would be a huge WARNING for me to get as far from him as possible.

Back to the topic -- After Monster's Ball nothing Halle does surprises me. Nothing.

Anonymous said...

And who's doing these "indocrination and programming" to make bw a slave to bm? Everywhere in society the black woman is better off than the black man, so how could the one that is more empowered be slave to the one who is less empowered? You never cease to spout your anti-black family garbage.


Who's doing it you ask? Black men and their protectors and enablers, that is who. Don't give me any of that garbage about the Black family. Tell your fellow bruthas to stop getting Black girls pregnant then running of to White girls before you critisize any Black woman for the state of the Black family.

The Black women gets discriminated against and treated worse than the Black man, not the other way around. The problem is that you Black men are the biggest crybabies on Earth!

Anonymous said...

I notice Lormarie specified "Black women", but only said "DBbr men", convienently leaving out race.

People reveal their true intentions all the time.

Anonymous said...

CanadianBlackwoman, that is exactly why I do not think it is in Black women's best interest to have White women as "Friends". If a problem arises with that idiot BM boyfriend of hers, whose side do you think she will take? White women will side with Black men over Black women EVERY time!

Taylor-Sara said...

Cdnblackchick said Why cannot these men be civil?...


Girl, I don't know. Some of them are just sooooo ignorant. Like someone was saying how as a teen she worked in the mall at a cookie shop. She got into it with her boss one day, and was mumbling under her breath. All the customers had seen her have words with the boss, so they knew her anger was NOT directed at them. One young bm in line with a ww decided to PRETEND he thought she was talking about him. He started screaming and cursing at her, calling her names and basically threatening her. Saying how she had a problem with His ww, and other nonsense. Keep in mind when she tried to tell him that she was NOT talking about him, he cursed and screamed more, and proceeded to get even angrier. His ww stood there looking, and not saying a word- while he basically treated someone's child like garbage! I would have told him off, but I guess some women think that mess is cute, until it's directed at them....

Anonymous said...

It makes no sense, none at all, for a sista to be hanging around with a White woman/Black man couple. Both of them think they're better than you, above you and probably laugh at you and talk about you horribly behind your back. Trust sista, drop both of them before it's too late and you wind up hurt or disappointed or both. Neither White females nor Black males are friends of Black females, period.

Anonymous said...

energize, monster's ball is a damn movie! Halle was just doing her damn job! I bet you have no problem with all of the white and non-black actresses who have sex scenes with black men actors! Your comment about Halle is typical double standards that we black women have to deal with!

energize said...

anon 4:33 said I bet you have no problem with all of the white and non-black actresses who have sex scenes with black men actors!
-----------
Why all the cyber yelling? Can people have a decent discussion anymore? I don't get all worked up on who's doing who on film. Those people are all about money. My point was what is the difference between being groped on film versus an awards show...not much. And who are you to say she wasn't doing her JOB this time? Halle is a business woman I doubt she is doing anything for free. And BTW Monster's Ball was good, but not Oscar worthy.....

Taylor-Sara said...

Everyone, who is telling her not to have bm or ww friends -stop it! she has the right to have any friends she wants. Some of them will be good friends and some won't just like with everyone else...

Cdnblackchick said...

The issue was not my friend, but her boyfriend. In terms of her feeling better than me or talking poorly about me with her boyfriend or other people, this has never been my experience. Normally, she offers to give me a lift home from an evening work meeting. She made the same offer this time knowing that her boyfriend would have to drive me home.

Yes, I have some ww friends as well as Black, Asian, and Spanish female and male friends. I am very selective in terms of who I consider a friend. With all my friends, I have laughed/cried with them and felt very comfortable discussing serious issues like racism candidly. For the past 10 years, my best friend has been a wm.

Thanks for your comments.

Pamela said...

To declare that an entire group of people should not be considered as friends, lovers and the like is dangerous. One point of this blog is to help bw to see other people as individuals and to throughly check them out. bw can have anyone as a friend. The criterion should be that the person uplifts and supports you and vice versa. That in essence is what was communicated by Dr. King about judging the content of their character. Living by this principle has served me well all my life. You will find crazy people in all groups somewhere in the world. Leave those people alone but do not reject an entire group of people because of a few crazy ones.

Taylor-Sara said...

Thank you Pamela, well said......

Anonymous said...

What a great way for Halle to reward her husband's loyalty. Very sad and pathetic

Deb said...

Anon 6/18 @ 4:10 p.m.


I notice Lormarie specified "Black women", but only said "DBbr men", convienently leaving out race.

People reveal their true intentions all the time.


What "true intentions" are you referring to?

S said...

"Cdnblackchick said Why cannot these men be civil?"

I'll tell you why.
Because if there is anything BM hate more than BW with WM it is to see a BW happy, smiling and content!
It's like kryptonite to the BM.
They feed off of BW being miserable and alone and angry.
I would advice you to continue to be civil with him and always smile.
Remember, he wants you to be angry and miserable when you see him, don't give him what he wants!

Off topic: I was on a "date" (if you can even call it that) with an indian man (not native american) from india and to keep the story short, everytime we would walk past an indian couple or someone indian he would pretend like he didn't know me (!), he was very close to me and touchy feely - which i hate when i don't know the guy that well! and as soon as he saw an indian he would practically push me away.
Needless to say i ended it right then and there and the loser keeps calling me while i just ignore him.

I would advice BW to date.
Date, date and date! but remember, VET.
It usually just takes one date to see how a guy will treat you so don't go on a second date just to see if he will be different : he wont!

That's why i have another date this weekend.
Not with an indian guy as i do not find them that attractive. This particular one looked italian hence why i even went out with him.

Date but be careful that's all :)

Sophisticatedblkwoman said...

If that was a so called publicity stunt I wouldn't have co-signed to it, especially with some butt ugly guy. Sara I totally get your points!

Sophisticatedblkwoman said...

Funkystarkitty50, I totally agree with you. If I haven't said this before, but it is so nice and refreshing to interact ( even if it is through a blog) with other sistas like myself. :)

Stoney said...

It's highly ironic how you all repeatedly call ugly a black man with black features and repeately call georgeous a white man with very white features. If a black man declared Alek Wek to be ugly while declaring Heidi Klum to be georgeous, you all would be out for blood.

Anonymous said...

Am I the only one who thinks this was a stunt. This is what entertainers do. I think ya'll are looking too much into this.

Taylor-Sara said...

Stoney speaking for myself, I don't see Jaime has having features blacker than any other average bm. What I find most unappealing about him is that big misshapen head, and the fact that his features just don't seem to work for him. But I find Morris chestnut gorgeous as well, and his features are just as black...

To the last anon. If you have been reading then you have certainly heard many ppl say they think it was a stunt. We just think it was a very tacky, and disrespectful one. Unlike a ww, Halle (or any other bw) cannot just do anything, and have it be cute. That never works for us. Remember Britney kissing Madonna in the mouth- everybody thought it was soooooo cute, but remember Janet with the boob flash at the end of the song-she was put through hell because of that. Unfortunately, as bw, we always have to make sure our behavior is ladylike, professional, and respectful. Stunts like this are not. So although we still love and support Halle, we would hope that she does not allow herself to be used like this anymore....

FunkyStarkitty50 said...

I think that Morris Chestnut is attractive as well. I have always thought that Maxwell was very handsome. I could care less if a BM found a WW more attractive than me. That's his opinion and good luck to them. My self-esteem is not tied to whether or not ANY man finds me attractive or not.

Anonymous said...

Granted Halle is a hot mama, but even it was one of those fake Hollywood kisses like you see in the movies for the sake of publicity, this was simply low class. So she's teaching her daughter that it's okay to intimately kiss a man that you're not involved with and allow him to grope your behind for publicity? Halle is already beautiful and quite popular. She doesn't need to do this kinda of crap. I don't care if she was kissing the most handsome man on the planet, this was very very tacky.

Anonymous said...

Am I the only one who thinks this was a stunt. This is what entertainers do. I think ya'll are looking too much into this.

Any man with some self respect would not tolerate this from the mother of his child. Stunt or not stunt, it's blatant disrespect to her man. can you imagine what people would say if gabriel was up kissing some white woman on stage?

Anonymous said...

Okay this is a slight digression from the post, but I wanted to say that we have some rockin' sisters on this blog. I was looking at FunkyStarkitty's profile and read she is a marketing expert and boy could I use some help marketing my business. Sara, maybe you should create a networking section on your other blog. I know it's not like you need another thing to do. You're just so good at bringing folks together. Topics like the one you posted this week are really good. Thanks for all you do!

Anonymous said...

I realize she's a grown woman and can do whatever she wants, but this incident won't teach her child anything positive (with things like the internet these days, there's no way her child will live to the teen years without seeing or hearing of this), especially if it's an apology type thing like you believe.

cool_splash1 said...

Neither White females nor Black males are friends of Black females, period.

I am going to ask this again why date wm if you are encouraging others to not have ww friends or like them etc? If you marry a wm his mom is white, sister. cousins etc. As I said before we hate it when bm date ww or marry ww or non-bw who hate us so why do the same.

Ww are like anyother women you have nice ones, assholes etc. just like you have bw. You have ww who think they are better than you and you have the same with bw. Hell women can be like this in any group.

Am I the only one who thinks this was a stunt. This is what entertainers do. I think ya'll are looking too much into this.


You know it's funny but bw in this gen have lost a lot of the knowledge or never heard it from the older bp. They new that what wm/ww did they couldn't do. Yeah maybe they wanted to, but they knew that they would be the ones to look bad at something that people would have thought was a ww being cute or liberated or wm going crazy on a golf course A. K. A. Tiger Woods when he was young because he saw a white kid do the same thing. My mom let me know with a straight up ass whippin (I ain't go lie) just because a wk had a temper tantrum and his mother game him the candy he was banging his head on the floor for doesn't mean I could do the same thing and get the same results (the results I got weren't fun at all believe me I learned that lesson and fast. Not just from the whippin my head hurt from banging it on the floor.lol)

Anonymous said...

sad to say it, but for halle to have a gradious display like that, she is def sending a message to Gabriel. I think she is the type to tell him how DBR black men are, and he probably agrees with her. so if he is cheating, probably with a skinny white girl, what would hurt him most? her kissing the exact opposite of what she likes? a black man. sad thing is. she puts her insucurity on her sleeve and looks loose, not to mention gabriel could care less and probably has less respect for her. now because of her, all black men are going to see a bw with a wm and think "she is with him, but she really wants me" ewwwwwwwwwww!

Anonymous said...

isnt sara the best though! she is sooooooo on point!!!!

atiess said...

"gradious display"

Huh? What kind of display?

"so if he is cheating, probably with a skinny white girl, what would hurt him most? her kissing the exact opposite of what she likes? a black man."

There's no reason to believe any that. It's pure speculation on your part.

"not to mention gabriel could care less"

Mister, how could you possibly know this? Huh? Did ol' Gabe tell you?

"now because of her, all black men are going to see a bw with a wm and think "she is with him, but she really wants me"

Not all bm -- only the mentally deficient ones.

Anonymous said...

"If you have been reading then you have certainly heard many ppl say they think it was a stunt."

Yep, lots of other posters said it was a stunt and I already said it was another acting job just like any other. Don't know how that poster got the idea that s/he was the first to post about it being a celebrity stunt.

Anonymous said...

What I find most unappealing about him is that big misshapen head, and the fact that his features just don't seem to work for him.

And you hold that against him? He didn't choose the shape of his head and I tire of people looking down on others because of physical characteristics they have no control over. If you don't find him attractive, then don't pursue him nor those who look like them. But don't question those who don't agree with your assessment of his looks. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and people you consider to be "ugly" still have the right to love and affection.

Taylor-Sara said...

Anon, it's ridiculous (and suspicious) for you to ASSUME Gabriel is cheating on her (and esp. with a wg) from her actions. That's just sooooo far fetched. It's like you're making a story to fill in the blanks. Gabe is not responsible for Halle's behavior. Halle is. It's as simple as that. What you are doing with that comment is engaging in malicious, and unfounded gossip. Please don't use my space for that purpose. If he wanted a ww, honey, there are too many to count who want his fine self back. So if that were the case-he'd be with one right now-don't you think.....


Ppl. please do not come on here, and just let ANYTHING come out of your mouth, this is not the place for that. Please believe that All kinds of ppl are reading us. (even if they don't comment). And some of you are doing our cause more harm than good. Think before you type....

Taylor-Sara said...

Anon 10:49 exactly where did I say that someone else was at fault if they found J.F. attractive? I'm sure there are plenty of women who find him attractive-I was just giving my assessment because I was accused of finding him unattractive because of blk features. (when that has nothing to do with it) I think you know this. Yall are quite good at taking our discussions to places they were never meant to go, by throwing one accusation then another. Anything to cause a diversion.... So for clearification purposes, let me say- I don't give a damn who finds him attractive-everyone is entitled to their opinion-
Moving on.....


Anon who suggested the networking idea. I love that idea. Alot of sistas can really find, and help each other with that. Let me think of a format, and I'll have it up next week....thanks for that...

Allegra said...

Sara said:

Ppl. please do not come on here, and just let ANYTHING come out of your mouth, this is not the place for that. Please believe that All kinds of ppl are reading us. (even if they don't comment). And some of you are doing our cause more harm than good. Think before you type....



THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU, SARA!

Truly needed to be said........

Anonymous said...

Halle played herself. When I walk around with white men who are friends in NYC, I actually have black guys touch my arm. That's why I need a white boyfriend with a gun :)

Anonymous said...

This is slightly off topic, but proves that the fascination with ww is not limited to the U.S.

Notice how it is worded to soften the blow though by saying "appetite for white talent" and "increased demand for white performers" as if the demand for white skin extends to both men and women, when in reality it is only white women that they are interested in:


http://www.theage.com.au/world/aspiring-brits-find-bollywood-beauty-skin-deep-20090627-d0ix.html

"YOUNG British actresses struggling to find work at home are moving to Bollywood to capitalise on the Indian film industry's appetite for white talent.

The recession-hit show business in Britain and an increasing demand for white performers has spurred an estimated 1000 British actors and dancers to move to Mumbai in the past three years.

British actresses can earn £1000 ($2050) a day in Mumbai and say opportunities are plentiful.

The traditional roles for white women in Bollywood were as the exotic backing dancer, prepared to show off bare skin.

Now they are moving to Mumbai to establish serious film careers.

Hazel, 24, from Kent, has been in Mumbai for five years and is well established on the Bollywood circuit, where she is known simply by her Christian name.

"I first did adverts for Ponds, Nokia and Samsung and then got my first proper role in a film in MP3," she said.

"You can lead such a great lifestyle in India. There is the constant begging, pollution and sleazy casting directors that you have to be careful of, but it's all worthwhile … I'm almost famous!"

The success of Slumdog Millionaire has put India on the map in terms of worldwide film audiences, and Bollywood is becoming more globally minded.

"Ten years ago there were hardly any white girls working in Bollywood. Now they are everywhere," said Debjoy Ray, of Globosport Modelling agency. "Indians have a liking for white skin and equate it with beauty.""

Sandra77 said...

Interestingly enough, Rev Lisa on her blackwomenblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com blog is addressing the very topic about watching what we say in her latest post (June 30). Obviously, there's a timeliness to this discussion. Sara, I hope you don't mind my mentioning other blogs on your site - at least they're blogs in the same family! Thanks.

Anonymous said...

Anon @ 2:31 pm june 29, THANK YOU for pointing that out. People consider White women and Black men as the top of the beauty/sex appeal heap, and consider Black women and White men at the bottom.

Anonymous said...

Unrelenting defensee of White women. Cooing about how "Atrractive" Morris Chestnut is.

I guess this is the Black man/White women fan club blog now eh?

Anonymous said...

Anon talking about the White women being courted by the Indian entertainment industry, it's not just India. I've seen too many African music videos with White female dancers taking spots away from Black female dancers, yet ALL of the men in these videos are Black. It's a bunch of garbage!

Anonymous said...

You know this is really sad. halle berry is one stupid BIRACIAL woman. i don't call her a black woman. she is what she is and that's BIRACIAL. so black women stop claiming this ridiculous fool as one of us...she's NOT! to let someone like jamie fox disrespect you like that for the whole world to see speaks volumes about your self-esteem or lack thereof. i hope gabriel has nothing else to do with this pathetic peice of human garbage.

Anonymous said...

Anon, Halle has always been very adamant about her identity as a Black woman.

What she did with Fox was a big stupid mistake I agree.

Anonymous said...

I was disappointed and DISGUSTED to see this! And, with JAMIE FOX??? GIMME A BREAK!!! You'll NEVER see them stage something like this b/t Shemar Moore and LaTanya Richardson.

Taylor-Sara said...

Whoa.... Anon 10:37
We don't need to throw a sista under the bus because she does something stupid once or twice. We are all in the learning, and growing catagory. And I would venture to guess most of us have done something stupid in our lifetimes. Halle's was just before all the world. But she's still my fav. actress, and I would just hope that she never allows them to use her like that again. And she IS a bw. None of us are pure....

Anonymous said...

Halle berry is BIRACIAL you blacks need to accept that. i don't care what she calls herself. its only aa who see's and claims biracial people as soley BLACK! even those who look whiter than most whites. get over it. halle is a disgrace as a woman.

Taylor-Sara said...

Yes she is biracial. A biracial black woman! You need to accept that. There are almost no pure black ppl. I have 3 races in me and I still identify as a blk woman. And it's not just bp who auto identify most biracials as blk. White ppl will automatically do it if they look black. Havent't you ever noticed that? We're not going to get into a debate on how much black makes you black, because that's silly and non -ending. You need to calm down, everyone does not have agree to have a diologue..So you think she's a disgrace-ok. You are certainly entitled to your opinion. Although I disagree.....

FunkyStarkitty50 said...

It's pretty harsh to call Halle a disgrace as a woman. She even stated in an interview a while backbthat her own White mother told her that she was a "Black girl who happened to have a White mother. Is her White mother a disgrace for telling her that?

L said...

I am late to this thread but only just found out about the kiss with JF. All I can say is how disappointed I am with Halle, I mean, what is going on with her? She sometimes comes across as being terribly insecure BUT does not seem to have learned any lessons from her previous failed relationships! If this one with GA fails I will be very sorry for her because it may be downhill after that. Stop apologizing for being who you are Halle! Doesn't she any have good friends, mentors, anyone to give her good advice. Where is her Mom? Yeah I know she is 40 but I am 36 and still talk to my Mom and respect her advice 'cos she is experienced and has seen it all. I do not believe this was a stunt - afterall there are white actresses who are called "sexy" or hot or whatever eg Cameron Diaz (not hot at all, IMO), Jessica Biel (very ordinary looking woman) etc. I have NEVER seen them do this. Even Salma Hayek who is also considered very hot has not done stuff like this so why, Halle, why? Most black actresses do not act like this either - Angela Basset, Gabrielle Union, Sanaa Lathan etc and these women are sexy too!
I don't know but I feel she needs counselling or something. She does not seem to have it together and that is so sad. She acts as if there is something missing in her life, I dunno, I could be wrong. I really wish her well and hope she and GA continue to be happy. I am sure GA did not like that mess; stunt or no stunt - no normal guy enjoys seeing his woman groped or kissed by another male. Actors talk about how difficult it is for them when their significant others are in sex scenes - and this is directly related to their pay checks. Yet Halle is doing stuff like that for free! Halle - stop apologizing to BP, if GA dumps you who is going to support you? None of the folks you are trying so hard to please! They'll just laugh and be secretly pleased the white man dumped you! Do not play into their hands - they are trying to manipulate you into feeling guilty so you sabotage your relationship! I do not get how she could have said in an interview that she had tried black men!! IMO Halle is disrespectful of GA and so far she is getting away with it because he is obviously nuts about her. When a man is madly in love he will take a lot but one day he may snap and say enough is enough and be out the door. It will be too late then! MY SO is like that - very patient and easygoing but make NO MISTAKE, NO FOOL! When he has had enough crap and walks away he walks FOR GOOD! You are a beautiful woman who has achieved so much and on top of that is blessed with a loving man and child. Don't throw it all away for the undeserving!

Taylor-Sara said...

L. you are soooo right. I hope someone is telling her this/ or has told her this. That was very observant, that is exactly what they want, and exactly what would happen....

Anonymous said...

Halle, please stop trying to please Black men. They don't care about you. Just remember how those losers treated you when you did date them.

Lola said...

It's highly ironic how you all repeatedly call ugly a black man with black features and repeately call georgeous a white man with very white features. If a black man declared Alek Wek to be ugly while declaring Heidi Klum to be georgeous, you all would be out for blood.

STONEY, stop whining and STFU! Jamie has a weird head and weird teeth, those are not "black features". He is just not attractive. BW have never clowned black features (and hair) on BM the way y'all did on us. Just telling it like it is, no animosity, just the truth. BW have praised black-feature-having men like Otis Redding and Sydney Poiter. So again STFU!

You said Alek? BM don't even find Naomi Campbell attractive. BM won't even find Kery Washington as pretty as the most average looking WW you could find, let alone Alek. I said it before and I'll say it again, WHO CARES what BM say about Alek Wek? She's a millionaire and her MAN finds her desirable. The world already know BM's opinion's on Alek (and darkskinned BW in general), you don't have to "say" it, it's no secret. But that can't break her, her face got her the million dollar job she has today : ICONIC MODEL.

End of story.

Jacinda said...

As a 19yo blk female I am utterly confused by this whole blog, but why are yall picking on Halle?

What's the problem??? Seriously all I see is a cheesy fake kiss(albeit disgusting one) solely done for publicity.
Jamie isn't cute but neither is Halles man IMO.

And about blk women apologizing, wth is that mess? Who feels like they have to apologize for something that's their own business???

If blk men aren't checking for us like that then why the hell would they care. My sisters bf is white, I've gone out in public with them and she gets the same stares and looks from blk men that she gets alone. She's pretty, she's gonna get stared at so what! Because it's a blk dude it's gotta be negative.

The bottom line my sister doesn't apologize for who she dates and from what I've seen no one has made her feel like she should.
Me and my man looked at her cross eyed the first time she brought him around, but it was because she's the last person we thought would date a wm not because we felt she needed to apologize for something.

Taylor-Sara said...

Jacinda hon, if this blog leaves you that confused and unsettled, perhaps it's just not the one for you. I don't think it's confusing at all. I try to keep the message so simple a mentally challenged person can follow it.

1. Work in your own best interests
2. Find the BEST man for you
3. Forget a man's color, and concentrate on his character

4. Love yourself, and never let anyone make you ashamed of the beauty God has given you.
5. Get away from damaged/dangerous men for your safety, as well as the safety of your precious children....
I think the message over here is pretty clear. As for you being confused about the post-

We've already talked about this post ad nauseum, and if you read the comments I'm sure you'll be able to follow the line of thought...
Thanks for dropping by....

Jacinda said...

Taylor-Sara Im not confused by that. Not at all in fact I agree with most of it.

What confuses me is that there seems to be so much animosity and it's all if not mostly directed at one group of men. Some of the posts I read seem real twisted and unfairly biased. It may not be your intention to come off as putting wm or non blk men on pedestals while ANY blk regardless of what he's about gets tossed in the trash but that's how it seems.

I thought this was a blog about IR, but from what I see there's a lot chicks(not all) with huge chips on their shoulders bashing men. I haven't learned one thing about IR's, it's just a bunch of stuff about how messed up blk men are, granted a lot of them are. But if this is supposed to be a bw/wm thing then post some stories about em.
And for that matter where are all the white me at!? If their interested then they should speak up, if I had to go on this blog alone I would assume wm interested in bw are few and far between.
JMO

Anonymous said...

Jacinda, I think you are a Black man trying to stir up trouble.

Taylor-Sara said...

Jacinda, This is a IR blog geared toward black women! I think I say that all the time. Although we encourage them to speak, most of our male commentors simply read. That is THEIR choice. You are a guest here, and yet you come with the audacity to tell us what we have a right to speak about! I think that's pretty nervy! You've also been quite rude, and inconsiderate. There is plenty about IR on this blog, but obviously you were LOOKING for something to complain about and you found it. Ppl usually find what they are looking for. As I said earlier, this blog is not for everyone, nor is everyone welcome here. And my dear, YOUR welcome has just recinded! As I said earlier, check my sidebar, and perhaps you will find something more to your liking, *if* those blog owners can tolerate your rude arrogance. As for this blog, you are being asked to leave, and don't bother commenting again, you will be deleted...

I don't mind disagreement at all, but disrespect is a horse of a dif. color.