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Thursday, April 30, 2009

How WW try to steal the spotlight....









This is the post answer from a ww in reference to a recent post about Hollywood's refusal to show classy, talented, beautiful bw. For some reason, (I cannot figure out why) she thought this was a good answer to that particular post. Keep in mind this post had NOTHING to do with bm/ww at ALL! It was about BLACK WOMEN! Oh but I guess the spotlight is NEVER allowed to be on us, even on a blog GEARED to and ABOUT us!!! lol

I must admit this is my pet peeve with ww. Many of them truly seem to think the world revolves around them! What does some bm worshiping at her feet have to do with a post about the lack of good roles and images of bw in Hollywood? But see the spotlight must be turned back around to them always, because no one else really seems to matter. They remind me so much of bm, it's uncanny! Never can the discussion not involve them or there is a problem. Exp. I knew someone a few years ago, when I used to volunteer at a particular shelter. She was also a volunteer but quit because one of the regulars was getting very attached to her, and beginning to act like a stalker. Anyway, before she quit, this guy went from throwing kisses at her to following her to busting ALL the glass in her brand new car when she would not respond to his overly-obvious gestures. I remember her running back into the building crying wildly because she'd seen her car. She called her husband, who came down immediately. After he examined the car, he had the nerve to say, "That sonava bitch -how could he do this to ME!!! -I drive this car all the time!!! " WTH! I remember her looking around at the faces of the other women in total embarrassment. He completely disregarded her, and only thought about how the situation affected him! bm and ww do this constantly. They often see things through the filter of their own wants, desires, and needs, and completely disregard the wants, desires, and needs of others. Should we hate either one of these groups? Absolutely not, but we should be aware of how seldomly they have our interests at heart and have the sense to see it, and take appropriate action. Notice also how this heifer took the time to throw WM under the bus as well while she was tooting her horn, and trying to make bw jealous. First of all wm are some of the most courteous caring men on earth, yet she has the nerve to claim only bm have treated her in a courteous, chivalrous manner. I don't believe her for a minute. Then she once again goes on to rave about the bm's skin, and how much she loves it. You can bet many bm will read this and grin like Cheshire cats, yet when I mention (on my own BLOG!) how much I love the hues of a wm's skin and eye color, I KNOW I'm going to catch hell from bm (And I do!!) So my point is two fold. First I cannot figure out why this lady came on a BLACK WOMAN's blog to brag about her man, and second, I'm simply flabbergasted once again, how ww cannot allow bw to have the spotlight on a bw blog! And no, this is not an isolated event at all. I delete comments from ww talking about THEIR PROBLEMS, THEIR NEEDS, THEIR WANTS ETC. all the time. This is a BLACK WOMAN's blog -what's so hard to understand about that?

Read the passage from her below, which had absolutely NOTHING to do with the post it was posted to......(Hollywood's refusal to show classy, beautiful bw)



Anonymous said...
I'm a 31 y/o white chick (120 lbs @ 5'5" for those concerned). I recently started dating a black guy and it is AWESOME. He treats me better than I've ever been treated before. He understands when you take care of a woman, she'll take care of you. The way his skin looks and feels drives me crazy. He's not jealous or possessive, but protective and trusting. The sex is hot. He treats all my friends well, males and females. He is such a gentleman and anticipates my needs. If we're out and he sees I'm getting tired, that man has the car pulled around before I even have to say I'm ready to go. These aren't race-specific attributes. Any man can do these sort of things. And no man is perfect...they're still men! After years of dating all sorts of men- Indian men, Eastern European men, white American men, I have only felt truly worshiped by my black man. I can't get enough of him. The white guys I've been with, on the whole, just seem to take women for granted and forgot the little courtesies that make a women feel cared for and loved. They expect it to be all about them from Day One. Then they don't even call the next day. Your mileage may vary.
April 30, 2009 4:56 PM

85 comments:

Dante Vegas said...

It seems like this girl wasn't hooked on black guys, she just had been dating the wrong type of man in general. She dated people that were below her standards and the one that happened to come along with the right standards happened to be black. So I get it, new IR couple, different skin tones, excitemnt, woop woop, but yes why is she here on your blog? When I find my snow daddy I wont hunt the web for approval. And Ladies stop settling for less, If the man you want should open doors, and pull out chairs don't expect or accept less than this from your potential mate. If they don't come with it you gotta move on get what you want just like they do.

energize said...

Sara - i witness this behavior on a daily basis. The insatiable need for ww to be the center of attention...look at me, look at me, why isn't everybody paying to me?! From the constant whining to inserting triple FFF breast implants. uugh..I hope bm get exactly what they deserve.

Trisha wrote a DEEP comment on Harry Potter's latest essay about this exact issue from a historical perspective and how it impacted bw.

LorMarie said...

I didn't get much negativity from the ww post except that she attempted to post it on the wrong thread. She should have posted it in a section where it would not be off topic...that is, if she is a real ww and not one of your insecure bm trolls. But I'll take it at face value and call it a white woman. In fairness, I've had some ww friends over the years so I haven't gotten the negativity for the most part. One thing I have noticed is that they aren't all into bm as much as we think. From my POV, most wanted to hook up with a blond nordic man in order to have blond children.

Taylor-Sara said...

No, I never said it was negative. I said it was irrelevant! Why is she writing in to brag about her bm on a post that has NOTHING to do with either one of them! This is just a ww's way of turning the attention back to ww because she is uncomfortable with it being ABOUT BW. Also I believe the bragging (if it's even true) is just her trying to make bw jealous. But like I've said before ww can take ALL the bm for all I care...

Chi said...

The woman's response is completely irrelevant. I don't think she was entirely clueless in posting her response. I believe she wanted to get a rise out people, when in fact, my only response to her is "huh?!?!"

Anonymous said...

I agree with Sara. Who cares if her bm treats her better than any wm ever treated her.
Maybe the wm simply recongnized trash and treated trash like trash. I do not know. I would like to see her go on a white supremacy site and make those same comments.

a.

cool_splash1 said...

What Sarah's talking about is the highjacking of threads, discussions that pertain to black women. I've noticed this as well.

http://members.lovingyou.com/showthread.php?s=ed8e5948f04ef0e05890ef58686d6e80&threadid=166217&highlight=indian+men

Or there is also a site for indian/black relations and a ww posted on the forum about how she is a ww/dating an im. I was like dude this is a site for im/bw/iw/bm.

Many of the bw empowerment/ir etc. bloggers might have to do some deleting. That's why I like your site Evias, and others who don't mind using the delete button.lol

bm do this as well at ebonywomenandivorymen a black man got on the forums and talked about his bm/ww relationship. No one had a problem, but he tried to highjack the threads and not only that disrespect bw until they banned his ass.

I like the fact that this forum and other bw ir sites are specified as bw/ir bw/wm etc. I think we need forums like this for many ir. Mainly because many bw are opening up to ir and I do think it's hard to talk about things with it's focused on everybody like Blindian is as well as being intimidated by the women of the opposite sex or by the men.

sky said...

Just reading that comment from the "ww". I have a hard time believing that a "ww" wrote it. something it about doesn't sound believable.

Aphrodite said...

I have a biracial friend who teaches multi cultural sensitivity classes. She forwarded a lot of the info she uses to me.


One of the handouts she had talked about respecting the spaces of 'others'. They provided examples - if you come across a native american or african drumming ceremony don't just jump in. If you are so moved - ask permission first. Even if groups are discussing problems and issues and you feel you have valuable input- you don't jump in and say- "here's what you do." You ask how you can support and assist. These are just examples.


Another blogger blogged about this as well - the need for BW to have their own spaces and that others for whatever reason feel as if they can come in offer unsolicited advice/instruct/disrupt ...


What they say may not be negative in some instances, but I do think the action is negative in addition to being disrespectful and disruptive because they are saying I can violate you, your space, your guidelines, and rules and you just - well deal with it.

Anonymous said...

That was kinda pointless.When I finished reading what she wrote all I could think was 'sooo?"
What was the point of it all??weird

lormarie said...

I can see the point about it being irrelevant. What she needs to realize is that black men aren't desired by all. I also bet that her claim that the white men she dated not treating her well is simply her biased projection. She used the word worship which means the bm she's with obviously has no backbone or self-worth. If he did, he wouldn't be worshiping her or any other woman. She also failed to mention what she actually does FOR her bm.

Taylor-Sara said...

Anon. you sound like a damned fool! That is NOT what sky said and you know it! And if you want to make a smart ass remark, at least be woman enough to use your own name and stop hiding behind Anon-you coward!

Anonymous said...

I all to well know this to be true. I work very high profile events and am usually the only BW there. It does not cease to amaze me how the WW try so hard to ignore me and/or be the center of attention!! They are so intimidated by BW! They have on their faces how dare she be the center or beat us out for this job, etc. However, despite their numerous attempts I still hold my head high and get a chuckle that they are intimidated!! BW are beautiful!

Felicity said...

Excellent post Sara, she needs help and prayers! So she has a fabulous man, good for her. What is the point on posting on here!

Anonymous said...

I agree with this attention-starved WW TO AN EXTENT - I have had these experiences with white men too, but those were the ones who came from a certain socioecononomic background. "Average" white guys (delivery guys, etc.) are sweet and caring, just like men of any race can be.

lisablisa said...

Agree totally pointless post. She said she "recently" started dating a BM so I wonder if she'll check back in with you after the newness of her relationship wears off? All new relationships seem superior to previous ones but time has a way of bringing us back to reality.

Lena said...

I feel the same way about ww being attention seekers. It's extremely annoying. I notice that women in happy relationships don't act superior to those who are looking for mates!

I don't hate ww or bm but I find certain folks in their ranks to be selfish and self-obsessed! I wish ww would quit bragging about how wonderful their black boyfriends and husbands are. I think they do it to rub it in our faces. My cousin is married to a white woman but he doesn't act like a superior jerk because of it.

I do find many black men's possessive attitude towards black women to be very sexist and selfish!

Taylor-Sara said...

Hey Lena, I can totally understand. I have a cousin whom I love dearly but he's always been very very 'into' white girls. The only problem I have with that is that he would have several black girls on a string leading them on, and never letting them know he was really only 'into' white girls. Last year he married a wg, and she was laughing about about the 3 bgs who were left crying over him. She actually thought that mess was funny! She said they shouldn't have been so stupid, or they would've known they didn't stand a chance. -I stopped speaking to her....

cool_splash1 said...

and that's another thing I've noticed too Sarah. That when they date or marry bm and this can go for white men (mostly boys who hang with black boys)they think they can say anything. Even black men and women have to be careful what we say around other black people.

As for the n word I've noticed white guys etc. say it until they get out into the real world away from the black boys/men that give them a pass. Then they learn their friends may have let them get away with it, but there are many black people who won't. Many try to complain about it and say how it's racist they can't say a word that just means dude and then learn with fists to their faces that the world has nothing to do with friends. I've also noticed that as they go through high school anyway they stop hanging around the thugish type of black boys especially when it's time for college or they are in college.

Anonymous said...

This is exactly what I was talking about in a comment I posted on Sara's last entry: the one where I talk about bw needing to watch their backs with some of these ww, but I got BLASTED for it!--called a troll, confused, and everything else. Now, I hope some of you see what I meant: some of these ww are totally self-obsessed to the point where they need to condescend others (usually minority women, read bw) to keep themselves feeling superior. I've been around enough ww & wg and have seen it time and time again.--just as a reminder I'm not talking about ALL ww, just many of them...usually the young and younger ones, from my experience.

And as for her bm boyfriend treating her sooo good and her past wm boyfriends being sooo crappy...not sure how much I buy that! In fact, my first thought was they she's probably trashy, previously dated likewise men, and now has a bm who's so enamored with her whiteness that he overlooks her skankiness...it would'nt be the first case of such. Peace.

GoldenAh said...

It's just jealousy.

If bw are expressing an interest in non-bm, that worries a tiny portion of ww. BW are known for shouting to the world, "nothing but a black man" and overly praising them - this sharp thought I borrow from Roslyn Holcomb. Black men certainly deserve praise when due, but only if he's a Renaissance-type of man.

This, I believe, is what attracts ww to bm. This, I believe, is why bm are so popular in the media (at least right now). The complaints from bw for a bm Prince in regards to Disney's black Princess and light-skinned guy reinforces this.

Her comment reads like a, "Hey! Hey! Over here! Look at me! I'm with one of your men!!! Aren't you mad? Don't you still want them anymore?", kind of thing.

People want what you have. If we show ww that we don't care that they are "getting our men" then where would their smug self-centered joy go?

I was at a "real" dance club last night, and I was the only dark brown face there. There was one other bw. She was very light; I almost missed her.

I will say this: one or two ww will get mad when wm pay you some mind. It makes me laugh.

Asian women are not afraid to step up, be involved, and wm notice. In a crowd of roughly over 100+ people, I counted over 11+ Asian women, and half as many men. They will also be nice, tell you how to step up and get involved too.

These women don't play.

Ladies, let us not be afraid to go out and venture into new territory. A ww sending a note like this is an unintentional compliment.

Taylor-Sara said...

Hi GoldenAh

I definitely agree that she was trying to be 'smart'. I would also agree that Roslyn H. is a very shart lady and would have broken down her comments with a quickness. I guess i was overly quick to respond because as soon as I saw the her post, my initial response was severe irritation. My first thought was "Why is She here???" Are bw not allowed to have a space where we can converse freely without having a ww try to throw her 'perfect bm' in our faces. Esp. in light of the fact that this blog has NOTHING TO DO WITH WW. Not that I don't feel for any problems they might have, but I make no apologies about the fact that I am far more interested in the betterment/happiness of BLACK WOMEN! And I don't care who has a problem with that. It just felt to me like 'ha ha, you're trying to lead bw to wm, but look, I got a great bm that many bw want!' But she picked the wrong board because most of the women on this board are past bm, and have long since realized they are not the end all be all, at all. And many women here, are like me-indifferent to bm. Not hating them, but certainly rather seeing them for the flawed floundering failures many of them have become, and not considering them viable mates at all...

Sandra77 said...

I agree that this ww's post was irrelevant and non-responsive not only to the topic of the post but also to the topic of this blog. And I wouldn't be surprised if a bm may have treated her better - these are the same bm who will treat an excellent black woman like crap, but will turn somersaults and perform conjuring tricks for a ww he feels so lucky to have caught.

liza said...

You said it Sandra.
I've seen this many times. I have a damaged brother who has treated bw like garbage forever, yet last may he met some w/skank with 3 baby daddies, and a drug problem. And would you believe he not only takes care of all of her children and loves them like there is no tomorrow, but he married her!!! I was like what the hell! He even left a beautiful college educated Van. Williams looking sista for this particular skank! Our whole family hates her but he does not care... Now I don't normally agree with some of the women on this post who obviously no longer like bm. I like bm very much, but I have to agree about them thinking anything white is all good. I know two other bm who have totally ignored thier prior black children (no CS, no visits, no nothing) but dote heavily, I mean HEAVILY) on thier biracial children with ww. One man has blk children who probably could not pick him out of a line up because they've only seen his back -leaving their mom's bedroom- but he pays through the nose for his biracial children, even setting up a college fund for each of them! He all but ignores his blk kids and won't even pretend to care about them. The other guy actually abused the mother of his black children, and stole the food money -from the mouths of his blk kids!- yet treats his new ww like gold and can be seen at the mall hugging and kissing, and buying all manner of things for his biracial children, while telling the ww how much he loves her! Come to think of it, I guess I have to agree with most of the bad things yall say about bm, but I'm very sad to admit most of it seems true....

Angel said...

lol, who cares?
I've never found black men attractive. EVER.
White men have always been my first choice and i have never dated a black guy in my life.
I really do not understand the appeal with them so white women can stop trying to bend backwards on the streets to get my attention because honey i don't want your boyfriend.
Btw, I encourage all of you to see the new star trek movie which has a black female lead and a white male love interest in it.
And also NEXT clothing line features a commercial ad which has a black female and white male interest, so you know where i will be shopping next - no pun intended.
I can't stress enough how important it is for us to support these brands who put black females in positive light.
I'm thinking of writing to NEXT and tell them how great it is they've chosena black girl to be their face for their clothing brand because i know the importance of showing support and encourage this more in the media.
If you see a commercial ad for example IKEA (which recently featured a black/biracial woman and white male with their kids shpping at ikea looking loving and happy together) then for god sakes support them and buy from them!
Great blog btw! Keep up the good work.

cool_splash1 said...

This is exactly what I was talking about in a comment I posted on Sara's last entry: the one where I talk about bw needing to watch their backs with some of these ww, but I got BLASTED for it!--called a troll, confused, and everything else. Now, I hope some of you see what I meant: some of these ww are totally self-obsessed to the point where they need to condescend others (usually minority women, read bw) to keep themselves feeling superior. I've been around enough ww & wg and have seen it time and time again.--just as a reminder I'm not talking about ALL ww, just many of them...usually the young and younger ones, from my experience.

And as for her bm boyfriend treating her sooo good and her past wm boyfriends being sooo crappy...not sure how much I buy that! In fact, my first thought was they she's probably trashy, previously dated likewise men, and now has a bm who's so enamored with her whiteness that he overlooks her skankiness...it would'nt be the first case of such. Peace.

Anon what made people suspicious of you was saying that black women want to be white if they have white friends or mostly white friends or they need to be validated by ww other etc. and then turned around and stated that most of your friends have been biracial, white or hispanic. So then that means that you must want to be white, or need white women or other women in order to be validated.

And I've been around white women, asian, etc. and the most people who diss the worst can be bw. You need to seriously watch your back around other bw as well especially if you are doing well or plan to and others are unhappy or noone has encouraged them (like you may have had)to do well in life as what the post you are mentioning was about anyway.

So in a way you highjacked a thread that wasn't about ww and made it about them. That's another reason I became suspicious because that thread had nothing to do with ww sabotaging a black woman's happiness, but other bw.

Anonymous said...

I totally agree with this writer. I was married to a black guy for many years, (yes im now divorced, due to what happened in our relationship over the years and how he treated me), but sexually he was the best ive ever had. Ive since dated a number of white guys and so far, none of them compared to my ex husband. Besides the 'size' factor and boy, did he know how to grind his body....not just your typical in/out (shake it all about nonsense) or the up/down scenario but the whole nine yards....in/out and up/down and round and round, pure hip movement. As I was saying, before i got carried away, besides his manhood size and sexual technique, he was charming, confident, the best kisser ive ever had, extremely sensual and yes, his skin was as soft as a baby's. There is definitely something about a black man that fires the passion within me, something that I havent felt or been able to find with the subsequent white guy counterparts and I do intend to one day (soon I hope!!) meet a black, caring, sensual, confident and sexy lover. Sorry for any offence caused to any readers, im just being honest and true to myself.

Anonymous said...

Why does this double standard exist, where it is okay to put down whites and to elevate blacks in opposition? Think for a moment if this article had been written about any woman who only dates white men because she does not like blacks, and then went into detail about what is so wrong with black men... It would never have been published! Therefore, a racist double standard exists. I am here to tell you, it is not okay to put down white men as inferior, because you will soon see the bad side of a man being comfortable with his masculinity - powerful violence. White men built this world, bitch. On a positive note, I am happy to report the existence of a white man comfortable with his masculinity, and he is sitting at the keyboard typing these words. Granted, I am under 40, and athletically capable, but I also possess a wealth of knowledge and intuition that most never realize. I have never met (and slept with) a woman who I could not satisfy. In fact, my fiance had never had an orgasm during intercourse until she tried me. Thanks for your time.

Anonymous said...

To Anonymous: No, white men did NOT build this world, bitch.

Anonymous said...

Anon 3:20 if bm were so great-why are you not with one now? First of all I was married to a bm years ago, and he was never so great in bed! I have since married a wm who rings circles around him, so I guess my point is to each his own. But to act like sexual prowess is connected to skin color is absolute bull! ANY man can be bad in bed. You sound like a bm worshipping fool, when most of them would only SLEEP with you (if you truly are a bw) but never marry you. PS. And most bm just ought to be good in bed since they'll sleep with anything that moves-including other men

Taylor-Sara said...

Hey ladies, lets try to watch our language. I'm sure we're all smart enough to make out points with it.

And to the racist Anon. I would tell you where to go, but I'm a lady. So I'll just tell you to get the hell off my blog, and crawl back into the lonely hole you crawled out of....

cool_splash1 said...

Besides the 'size' factor and boy, did he know how to grind his body

Oh hell here we go with the black men have big dicks myth and better lovers than any man on the Earth ish.

Lena said...

I can't stand black women worship black men their just as bad as men of all races who worship white women! I find black male sexuality to be overrated due to the media depicting them as sexually superior to other men. Complete nonsense I'm sure there are men of other ethnicities who could excite me better than a self-obsessed black man who thinks his crap doesn't stink!

No I don't hate black men but I do hate how they're given a pass for terrible behavior much in the same vein I hate how white women can act like racist strumpets and no one calls them out on it.

We know white men could never get away with being racists so why should white women be treated any different when it comes to accountability!

Taylor-Sara said...

Your not kidding cool splash.
I had a lover before my first husband (bm) plus my first husband was a bm, and even as a woman with very limited sexual exp. I just thought they were ok. Neither one was what you'd call great in bed! And one actually had a dick about the size of my pinkie (No kidding-he was really small!) So when women try that age old myth on me, I have to laugh, because I KNOW it's not true...Besides don't men want more than to be a sexualized object? I mean is that supposed to be a compliment or what?....

Anonymous said...

Sara, not to take over your thread. But do you know what happened to HP? Is he coming back? Do you know of any wm who might take his place? I love your blog, but he really had a much needed blog, and we really need him back


Kay

Anonymous said...

@cool splash:

If that's how you really feel then you seriosuly need to go back and re-read my original post and then you will see why I posted it there. Please read it carefully this time and think deeply about what I wrote. That is all I will say on that. I'm done now. PEACE.

Taylor-Sara said...

Hi Anon.
No, I don't know what's going on with Harry. If anyone knows-please share. I think he just stopped. I know it was a great blog. If anyone plans to take his place please let us know-I agree it IS a needed voice....

Anonymous said...

Dumn heifer was tryin to make black men feel good since this is a black woman site. Yeaup, I certainly can read between the lines and would'nt doubt if that ww was really a bm. Who knows...many will go far for good pablicity among themselves.

Anonymous said...

I'm telling yall...some of these rediculous comments about boosting bm is seriously hyped up. Some stupid broad talking about how good the sex is with bm compared to wm. I've had God knows how many bm (back in the safe days) and only 2 knew what the hell he was doing in bed. With all the sizes and the hip ginding bull, I had one who knew what the hell he was doing and many had a...the size of my pinky. GET REAL WITH SEX WITH BM. Sex with white men is GREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!! Size and all. WW seemed to be very insecure and all they can think about is sex with bm.

Anonymous said...

"Besides don't men want more than to be a sexualized object? I mean is that supposed to be a compliment or what?...."


Sexual objectification is desirable mostly for men who have nothing going for themselves. That way even the ones who are tiny and inept are presumed to be great lovers based on nothing more than a myth.

Anonymous said...

I can see how being worshipped would be great for the ego of the typical ww who ends up with a bm. Being worshipped probably part of the real reason they even bother with bm in the first place.

Anonymous said...

@ Anon - May 3, 2009 11:07 PM

"WW seemed to be very insecure and all they can think about is sex with bm."

It seems only the bm and wm are insecure! When they talk about their preference that excludes you, they're insecure. But all of you here talking about your white man preference aint insecure? lol.

Taylor-Sara said...

In answer to your questuon Anon. I would say of course ANYONE can display insecurity. However, if you are depending on sexual prowess as your means of appeal instead of accomplishments and good moral fiber, that IS a definite good sign of insecurity. Regardless of your color...

Anonymous said...

Marsha Thomason got married not long ago in Malibu. She's an actress if some don't know.

http://www.gossipsauce.com/files/gs_marsha_thomason_craig_sykes_090406_m.jpg

http://www.hollywoodchecker.com/2009/04/08/marsha-thomason-marries-in-malibu/

Anonymous said...

Harry will be missed.

Ann

lormarie said...

It seems only the bm and wm are insecure!--Anon 9:04

Nah, it seems that black men are the most insecure. That's why they need to assert the fairy tale myth that they have more sexual prowess than others. Like another poster said, black men don't feel that they have much else going for them so they place emphasis on sexual prowess. It appears to me that white men tend to be more secure because of their position in the world and history (whether right or wrong). Thus, it doesn't make sense to place white men and black men in the "same sentence" when it comes to most issues.

Anonymous said...

Sara, it appears to me that your blog has been taken over by apologists for Black men and White women. These same people also seem to hate Black women. Please get these people off of here. Where can we go that will be a safe haven for us? I am really disappointed with most of the comments to this post so far. It seems more than half of them are trying to contradict you and tell you how great and innocent Black men and White women are.

Angel said...

One thing i have been just recently thought about and kind of figured out is WHH oh why can't black women state their preference without being apologetic about it?
It took me a long while until i caught myself being ashamed of stating that i had a preference for white men.
To me, back then, it was as if people would look at me like "she must hate herself, her father,her brother etc" but black men and other men and even women in general can state their preference without them being questioned for it!
It's only us, black women, who have to apologetic and almost pathetically sensitive to not offend anyone, especially black men.
I do not read magazines such as essence and ebony because they clearly has issue with ir relationships with BW/WM.
I just read halle berry's interview with one the magazines and she was asked questiones as to why she chose a white man?! what the hell!? He's a man aint he??
I don't know what it is with black women and white men rcouples that ticks so many people off really, what is it? is it because the white man is the most powerful man in the world and the black woman is the strongest woman out of all?
is it because BW/WM couples are a power couple? sure seems like it.
it's threatening to black men and white women and even other men of outher ethinicity;s and even other white men!
someone help me out here but what is it that is so intimidating with BW/WM couples?
anyways, i wish you could write about black girls having babies left and right and pushing those damn wheels around all by themselves with no man in sight! it's a sad trend and for goodness sakes in London you see them everywhere looking miserable with their kids , all alone. they need to stop being baby makers over here, it looks bad!

sky said...

to Anon 12pm :

thanks for the news on Marsha Thomason, that looked like it was a beautiful wedding. I had no idea she was dating to begin with. Then again the media isn't concerned who bw are dating. Thanks again!

Taylor-Sara said...

Yes thanks Anon. for the tip on Marsha. will have her pic up soon with her new hubby.

And Angel. is it really like that for bw in London? I've actually never been there. I would have thought the bw in such a beautiful place would be more 'open'. I'm rather shocked...

Anonymous said...

@Angel

"I don't know what it is with black women and white men rcouples that ticks so many people off really, what is it? is it because the white man is the most powerful man in the world and the black woman is the strongest woman out of all?
is it because BW/WM couples are a power couple? sure seems like it.
it's threatening to black men and white women and even other men of outher ethinicity;s and even other white men!
someone help me out here but what is it that is so intimidating with BW/WM couples?"

Let me tell you what is so intimidating about bw/wm couples since you live in a vacuum and have no recollection of history. The white man at his worst, has been the black man's worst enemy. The klu klux klan in america is the symbol of the black man's greatest foe. Now, since the women lib movement began, the black woman has taken on a mentality where she only strives for the success of only black females, even if she has to step on a black man to get to where she wants to. the black woman has found greater economic success and social upward mobility than the black man, with the assistance of the white feminists. She has no interest in assisting the black man. She is now in the company of the white man in the corporate world and achieving all things for herself, and now views the black man as redundant and useless and that it is better to now only mate with the black man's traditional foe the white man, who himself was her oppressor!

The black woman is now busy putting up blogs and promoting the idea among all other black women that she prefers an alliance with the black man's foe than with the black man! She's now telling all successful black women to find successful white men and make them husbands, and pointing at every flaw of the unsuccessful black man as a valid reason. She won't point out any negative flaws about white men. All historical crimes by them are forgiven! And she wont point out any good stories about successful black men making good husbands. To the now superior black woman, the black man is the new enemy! She now prefers to mate and give birth to the white man's sons and leaving the black man abandoned and to his own extinction, because there are "too few good black men," as she likes to gripe.

Now, Angel, if you see your own mother showing great love and admiration to the one you see as your long time enemy, and your mother is sharing the exact same negative sentiments about you as your enemy, would you not say that your mother has now become your own enemy as well? Is it not spine-chilling that your enemy, whom you kept at a safe distance, is now inside the same house as you, in the form of your own mother?!

Let's see if your MODERATOR gonna allow you to view and respond to this one. lol.

Taylor-Sara said...

Now before you ladies ask me why I allowed the last remark to be posted, allow me to explain.
I feel like many times bm are the greatest advertisements for IRs there are. I can talk until I am blue in the face about the bm's constant hatred, constant bitching, constant expectations of help from WOMEN-with absolutely NO reciprocity!! But nothing is so effective as seeing it, or hearing it for yourself! I want you ladies to read his rant slowly. He's griping and complaining that bw STILL ARE NOT DOING ENOUGH FOR THE PO WITTLE BM!!! Lawd have mercy! He's whining that bw have the nerve to succeed in the face of adject failure by so many bm! He calling the wm, a bw's oppressor. Yet tell me who All I will say is that every bw who is successful has worked to get there, and IT IS NOT A BW's JOB TO TAKE CARE OF A MAN!! What is so hard for you so called men to understand about that? A man does not look to a woman to be taken care of! A man stands on his own two feet! He does not play the blame game, the whining game or the wm are keeping me down game! I'm glad you ladies can see here and now the voice of a very weak, low value man. Does he sound like someone who would be an asset to ANY of you? Like I've said before. Drive their asses to the white girl's house and leave them there. These are NOT men. These are little, damaged peices of men waiting for a woman to save them-let their precious ww save them from now on!

Anonymous said...

"I'm glad you ladies can see here and now the voice of a very weak, low value man. Does he sound like someone who would be an asset to ANY of you?"

Not at ALL! He sounds just like a bawling baby. Babies are to be fed & taken care of -- you don't marry them and you DON'T mate with them, and when they become adults, you send them out into the world to fend for themselves and the children they create.

It is obvious that many bm see all bw as MAMA. There's an old saying about the fact that many women never experience financial and/or emotional independence because they move straight from their father's house to their husband's house. Well, that's certainly not the case for most AA women, but for AA men similar circumstances do apply: When the opportunity presents itself, they move from one mama to the next -- being fed and taken care of...with the added bonus of having their sexual needs taken care of while not having to take responsibility for the offspring the create in their role as adult parasite.

Anonymous said...

"There's an old saying about the fact that many women never experience financial and/or emotional independence because they move straight from their father's house to their husband's house. Well, that's certainly not the case for most AA women..."

Brilliant post, Anon. I just wanted to expand on this point in particular: this is the one of core reasons why bw are so hated by some ww & some bm & other damaged people.--simply because in the highly sexist society we live in, black women have always been independent and self-sufficient. I personally feel that this independence, especially the financial independence, made a lot of white women jealous and a lot of black men (some of the most sexist people you'll ever meet) angry. So, they devote much of their time to disparaging us in hopes that they will devalue the strides that bw have made over the centuries. It's a very complicated subject and I'm far from an expert on it, but it's definately true and documented throught history (though much of the evidence of the smear campaign launched against black women centuries ago has been erased, a lot of a very interesting tidbits still linger, like this fact). I encourage you and all interested parties to do some reading on the subject. One book in particular that I've found informative is "Black Feminist Thought" by Patricia Hill Collins. Now, if you're more conservative don't be scared off by the 'feminist' word in the title: it's not some book extoling the virtues of abortion or some mess like that...it's a fascinating and eye opening read. There, I'm off my soap box.

Anonymous said...

At May 4, 9:04am. Seems to me that the insecurity is coming from your ass. If ur not a bw or ww or any woman who is interesting in dating a wm, WHY ARE YOU ON THIS BLOG. lol. You seemed to be very insecure about "ALL OF US" who prefers dating wm, why not? BM seemed to have a strong preference to dating non-bw but yet, no one complains about that and they dont seemed to be insecure but nooooooooooo, wait-a-minute. When a bw speaks about dating wm, that means she's insecure. LOL LOL LOL. Jealousy is a bitch!!!LOL.

cool_splash1 said...

The white man at his worst, has been the black man's worst enemy.

Hate to burst a bubble for you anon but white women during slavery was a black woman's worst enemy.
Maybe you should learn about black women's treatment at the hands of ww. And I don't think I'm mistaken, because the last I checked ww used to claim and still claim that a black man raped them when they didn't want to say they were cheating on her husband, with other ww or even with bm.

So yes black people have bad historical issues with wp. But get this ain't slavery, jim crow. There is something called the present and the future. The past is what the word past means it's gone.

Anonymous said...

@ Anon May 4, 2009 6:40 PM"Let me tell you what is so intimidating about bw/wm couples since you live in a vacuum and have no recollection of history."

From an insecure BM or WW's perspective I presume? Speak for yourself. Everyone isn't intimidated by bw/wm couples."The white man at his worst, has been the black man's worst enemy."

Come now dear. Let me bring you up to speed. We're living in the present and currently the black man is the black man's worst enemy. The high murder rate amongst BM bares this out. And it's been this way for decades. PLUS the WW has historically been the BW's worst enemy. PLUS in these modern times, the BM has proven himself to be the worst enemy to both BW and black children.

So again, lets keep our mind in the present where we're all living today.
"The klu klux klan in america is the symbol of the black man's greatest foe."

And yet the white skin of those racists white american mothers of those Klansmen are the symbol of everything wonderful in this world to the modern BM.

"Now, since the women lib movement began, the black woman has taken on a mentality where she only strives for the success of only black females,"

I WISH this were the case. If more black women started concentrating on the upfiftment of other BW (and themselves) instead of prostrating themselves on the alter of damaged black men sistas could be UNSTOPPABLE and in a MUCH better situation than most are in now."even if she has to step on a black man to get to where she wants to."

LOL! You're a comedian right? EVERYTHING successful BW have earned has been WELL DESERVED and accomplished with hard work. Usually in the face of great opposition usually from BM. And insecure BM like yourself KNOW this."the black woman has found greater economic success and social upward mobility than the black man, with the assistance of the white feminists."

If some BM hasn't achieved the same levels of success that some BW have, it's THEIR OWN DAMN FAULT."She has no interest in assisting the black man."

LOL SMH You can't be serious... She has no reason to! What are you and the BM you speak for? Babbling helpless babies who need your a**'s wiped?

Come on now what kind of man needs the assistance of a woman ANYWAY?
"She is now in the company of the white man in the corporate world and achieving all things for herself, and now views the black man as redundant and useless and that it is better to now only mate with the black man's traditional foe the white man, who himself was her oppressor!"

SMH Look fool. The BW historically and to this day has NEVER had a group of men she could automatically count on to have her back. INCLUDING the BM. BW who've had successful relationships have ALWAYS looked at men on an INDIVIDUAL basis (instead of through a racial lens) because unlike every other race of women on the planet WE'VE HAD TO. So don't assume BM were not oppressing BW back in the day and aren't doing it now.

And you honestly think everything revolves around you and your gender and race?!LOL You need to get a clue.

ALL OF THE BW EMPOWERMENT BLOGGERS ARE SAYING THE SAME THING.

Date, marry, mate, and procreate with the BEST man with the strongest husband and father qualities REGARDLESS of race.

And if a BW finds that more non BM - specifically WM - fit the best non color-struck husband and father material bill, than so be it.
The black woman is now busy putting up blogs and promoting the idea among all other black women that she prefers an alliance with the black man's foe than with the black man!

LOL (Snickering...) Again you think the personal choices a black female STRANGER makes have something to do with you. You don't even represent every BM! You represent YOURSELF and you need to get over your insecurities man."She's now telling all successful black women to find successful white men and make them husbands, and pointing at every flaw of the unsuccessful black man as a valid reason."

Have you heard of a little something called FREEDOM OF SPEACH?"

"She won't point out any negative flaws about white men. All historical crimes by them are forgiven! And she wont point out any good stories about successful black men making good husbands."

Only the BEST man REGARDLESS of race. And don't get with ANY man with serious flaws again regardless of race. All historical crimes committed by WM AND BM AND men of other races happened in the past. Most CURRENT crimes to BW and black children are being committed by BM. And THAT is what shouldn't be forgotten.

And as far as these good BM, I'm sure they are making good husbands to somebody. It's just that those somebody's statistically speaking are not BW.

Therefore discussing that demographic is a waste of time for single BW interested in marrying well.
"To the now superior black woman, the black man is the new enemy!"

(Chuckling) Dear, considering what BW have faced from WW, BM, WM, and everyone else from the get go, it's apparent we've ALWAYS had superior spirits. Because any other population faced with the same oppression would be going POSTAL daily by now.She now prefers to mate and give birth to the white man's sons and leaving the black man abandoned and to his own extinction,

You're being transparent now dude. You mentioned the WM's biracial SONS. While leaving out the WM's biracial DAUGHTERS. LOL How convenient.

Focus the haterade on the sons but leave those light-skinned silky haired high-yella daughters alone. Because they're considered prime pickings for damaged Negro males.SMH

SISTA'S in the audience do NOT let your biracial (or black) children - especially daughters - fall for this " woe is me po BM" MESS.

BM are making THEMSELVES extinct with their high level of self-inflicted violence. No one else is "doing them in". They're doing THEMSELVES in.
"because there are "too few good black men," as she likes to gripe."

SMH A SIZABLE number of BW are just now gaining the courage to admit that they've ALWAYS preferred WM. Usually, when a BW admits the truth she's ATTACKED. So she instead makes up excuses to appease BM and their BW boot lickers.

It's GOOD that we're reaching the point where BW can be completely honest about their preferences and let the chips fall where they may.

That's PROGRESS.
Now, Angel, if you see your own mother showing great love and admiration to the one you see as your long time enemy,

Your mother? Now I KNOW you're not claiming BM view BW as mother figures of "the race". If that IS the case, than BW need to think long and hard before considering bringing a black son into this world. Because BM have shown - and continue to show - utter DISDAIN and CONTEMPT for the BW's image and value WORLD WIDE. Which means deep down BM HATE their mothers and what they represent.

Like it says in the Bible, the fruit doesn't fall far from the tree. If the tree is rotten and diseased you can expect the same from the fruit.

Sistas ONLY have children by men - regardless of race - who LOVE RESPECT AND VAULE YOU AND YOUR IMAGE preferably IN wedlock.
and your mother is sharing the exact same negative sentiments about you as your enemy,

You mean seeing damaged beyond repair BM for what they really are and not through rose colored glasses?would you not say that your mother has now become your own enemy as well? Is it not spine-chilling that your enemy, whom you kept at a safe distance, is now inside the same house as you, in the form of your own mother?!

Dude you need some DEEP psychoanalysis ASAP. Because it's obvious you need professional help.

sky said...

Sara I tried to read Annon's "wm are the enemy post", but it bored me.

Anyway can't wait to see the new Star Trek film, i believe there's an ir pairing between zoe and the kirk character. can't wait to see it, because you know the whole world will be watching this as opposed to Obessed *eye roll*. i hear zoe did an excellent job in the film.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Taylor-Sara said...

Deleted Anon.
Let me explain something to you and everyone else who wonders why I often delete comments by bm, and ww. This IS A BW's BLOG, AND I AM PRIMARILY INTERESTED IN THE HAPPINESS AND BETTERMENT OF BW!!! If you want to sprew your venon, there are 101 blogs geared to bm or ww you can do that on. I am not interested in your whining and self pity over here! Just like you and your bretheren are NEVER interested when bw are hurt, abused, maltreated, and disrespected in 1000 ways, on a daily basis. Go to YOUR OWN blog and tell them-because I'm not interested in the po little bm stories...

Anonymous said...

I delete comments from ww talking about THEIR PROBLEMS, THEIR NEEDS, THEIR WANTS ETC. all the time. >>> Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! If you're going to leave a comment it doesn't matter who it's coming from but for heaven's sake can't it be remotely on topic?!
There are Cosmo blogs for self-centered blah blah

Anonymous said...

@Taylor-Sara

Who's comment did you delete? It makes no sense you allowed me to make a remark, to try and use my remark as an example or a worthless bm that makes ir a great choice for black women.. and then when i answer to your debasing arguments you delete my response. Why get started in the first place? to use a black man as your scapegoat as usual? but when I prove to be too intelligent you delete my answers. lol. So much for the inferior down low black man. Why not delete the entire post? why only leave your little one-sided manhating diatribe? You have all proven yourselves over and over to be nothing short of BIGOTS! And do your bw and wm a favor and STOP TALKING ABOUT BLACK MEN. We don't hear you if you don't call our name.

Anonymous said...

IMO, it's been quite UNnatural the way AA women (in particular) have avoided like the plague consensual relationships with men who have much, much more to offer them (and not just financially) than the average dbrbm. It is beyond dysfunctional for any woman to seek out an alliance with a man who has nothing of substance to offer her or anybody else, for that matter. The most natural thing in the world is for women to seek out the best and most suitable providers/protectors for themselves and their (potential) offspring. A dead-beat is never a suitable daddy for impressionable kids, no matter how independently wealthy mommy is.

A mature, strong-minded man attempts *through HIS own efforts and resources* to overcome obstacles for his own well-being and the well-being of his family (or, if he is unmarried, to increase his ability to attract a suitable mate).

Any male who needs to play on a woman's sympathies as a method of worming his way into her life, bed and wallet is a leech and has nothing of value to offer a mate.

Taylor-Sara said...

I deleted yours Anon-duh!
First of all, I only allowed your first comment because it was sooo ridiculous-I had the let the ladies hear it for themselves. Second, I never asked you anything, so there was nothing for you to answer. Third, I think I have stated Adnauseum that this blog is concerned with BLACK WOMEN!! And that I am not much interested in BM. I know you are used to bw saying. "I love my brothers but..." Not me hon. I only love those who love me back, and that does not incl. a bunch of strangers who have done nothing but hurt bw. Now as for why I deleted your second remark. I will tell you quickly, because I am busy. I was never trying to engage you in a conversation so there was nothing to debate. The actions of bm speak loud and clear. No matter what your words say, your actions contradict them. So it really does not matter. To get into an ongoing debate only serves to take us off topic (which I suspect is your reason for being here) I believe I told you earlier to go back to your fellow bm's blog and rant there. And that is what I will tell you again. This is not the blog to whine to about bw. There are many blogs that cater to your sentiments-please avail yourself of them. And WE WILL TALK ABOUT WHATEVER WE WANT! -JUST LIKE YALL DO!! So don't tell me what to do or what to say-you got the wrong one. Sara's going to speak her mind until the day the lord calls her home-and that's the way it's gonna be. Why the hell would you be on a black female blog anyway??? That makes no sense! I never go to bm blogs. I KNOW I won't appreciate the way they disparage, and berate bw. And I have very little in common with them anyway. But even if I did go there, I certainly would not be so audacious as to try to tell them what THEY could talk about on THEIR forum!!! -Thanks for the imput, but Sara's gonna do her, and save as many sistas from the damaged brigade as she possibly can-have a good night....

Anonymous said...

Look who's calling someone a leech. A predatory, opportunist, parasitic gold-digging delilah.

Taylor-Sara said...

Do you see ladies how when a bw dares to think she should live well, she is called a gold digger? Every NORMAL human being wants to live well! What fool would want to live a substandard, impoverished life? But do you see how they try to make bw feel guilty for wanting the same things ALL WOMEN want?? It's really funny when you stop to think about it. They've been doing this for years. Manipulating bw to think they should settle, they should carry like a good mule, they should accomodate, and lower their standards (thus allowing bm to use and abuse). NO, you should NOT!! You deserve the best in life like any other woman! Don't ever let some losers convince you that you can't have the best in life, or that you don't deserve it...

Anonymous said...

"She has no interest in assisting the black man."

Don't black men EVER get tired of that old song and dance?! My goodness, that's some embarrasing, cringe-worthy, manipulative, thumb-sucking, unmanly mess they love to mumble to anyone who'll listen. Put down the diamond earrings and eyeliner and go get some testosterone injections...or something! Too man bm are "Sweet" this and "Pretty" that -- we can't all be women in this race, someone has to be the guy.

Anonymous said...

"Look who's calling someone a leech. A predatory, opportunist, parasitic gold-digging delilah."

Dummy. You really don't know what a gold-digger is. You also have low reading comprehension.

Anonymous said...

A woman who desires A SUITABLE MATE(meaning a mate with whom she is suited to/compatible with emotionally, physically and in temperment) and who is also the best provider & protector for her and her children, is not a gold-digger, you braindead slattern. In case you didn't know, it takes more than hugs and kisses to pay bills and feed babies.

Sandra77 said...

Hi, Sara. I hope you don't mind my giving my 2 cents regarding allowing these comments by DBR males on your blog. I am of the opinion that these comments should be deleted and seldom, if ever, allowed onto your blog. Even allowing their comments as a "teaching moment" or to show how crazy these DBR's are encourages that commenter and other DBR male (and ww) commenters to come to your blog - they hijack the thread as you can see. Rather than letting their comments in, I think it is just as effective, and probably even more effective, for you to create a post yourself on the subject matter that these DBR's are discussing. That way, YOU control the message and keep the discussion rational and on topic. I've seen what these DBR's can do and have done to other blogs. I note that many black female empowerment sites have stopped allowing comments from these DBR's for any reason. I note that in one blog in particular(blackwomanblowthetrumpet.blogspot.com) - Reverend Lisa Vasquez's blog - she only allows a few males who have proved themselves in the past to comment on her blog - no more DBR "teaching moments"!

Also, if you don't mind Sara, I'd like to call your readers' attention to Evia's latest blog post that has pictures and features of the wedding between a black woman (a USC communications major) and a white male (a neurosurgeon). Beautiful wedding pictures and a beautiful story (they met online at americansingles.com and had a long distance romance). I must say I LOVE the fact that this bw's husband is a neurosurgeon and the wedding cost between $200,000 and $225,000 dollars - I am NOT being materialistic - what I LOVE about this is how it emphasizes that black women are just as entitled as any other woman to the best that life has to offer and to live well. We don't all need to marry doctors or have expensive weddings, but I want that to be OUR CHOICE, rather than something forced upon us either because society sees us or we see ourselves as being unworthy. Sara, thanks for indulging me in this long post.

Angel said...

I would like to share some links for my fellow black women:
http://www.whataboutourdaughters.com/2008/07/22-yo-black-woman-to-11-year-old-black-girl-gang-raped-by-20-men-and-boys-that-girl-knew-what-she-was-doing/

Disturbing but it has to be read.
We as black women need to lift the fog out of our eyes.

http://www.whataboutourdaughters.com/2008/12/in-search-of-the-perfect-black-girl-victim-dymond-milburn/

Another one. I think this is really important.
BW need to stick together more because we are the only women who have to fend for ourselves and that is the sad truth but the good thing is if we do this the reward will be HUGE.

And to that sad black man lol, you didn't need to write that i had it all maped out before you even typed! The same old garbage and they think we will actaully buy it.
BW are way ahead of you son, WAY ahead of you.

Selena said...

...Now I don't normally agree with some of the women on this post who obviously no longer like bm. I like bm very much, but I have to agree about them thinking anything white is all good...
___________________________________

Liza while I understand the point you were trying to get across about your brother, this comment about some of Sara's readers(to include myself) along with Sara is not the message she/we are trying to convey.

The message is simple: date/marry a QUALITY MAN REGARDLESS of RACE, CREED, OR RELIGION. However there's still an alarming number of AFRICAN-AMERICAN women who will NOT, dare NOT nor choose NOT to do so. This weird loyalty to bm can be somewhat of a challenge for those of us who are opened to "dating out" however not unsurmountable.

Clarice said...

@Angel

"I don't know what it is with black women and white men rcouples that ticks so many people off really, what is it? is it because the white man is the most powerful man in the world and the black woman is the strongest woman out of all?
is it because BW/WM couples are a power couple? sure seems like it.
it's threatening to black men and white women and even other men of outher ethnicity;s and even other white men!
someone help me out here but what is it that is so intimidating with BW/WM couples?"

BW with WM or anyone who is in an interacial or intercultural relationship - intimidates insecure people. These couples individually and collectively live their lives and pay no attention to narrowminded, insecure people. These insecure people - feel ignored, and insignificant - because they are seeking approval from others who are not paying them any attention. These insecure people lack the courage to live their lives on their own terms and as such punish and or lash out at others who do have the courage to live their lives on their own terms. Secure people are happy with who they are flaws and all and are too busy living life to spend any time worrying about insecure, needy, selfish, self absorbed, self destructive, petty people. Even when these secure people feel insecurity they ride it and deal with it by continuing to try to live life to the fullest.


Excellent post, Sara.

V.r

Clarice

brightstarr said...

Like I've mentioned before, I teach English at a small college prep school in CT. There are maybe 8 or 9 of us under the age of 30, and I am the only black woman in my 20s. One day, I pointed out on my computer a picture of a football player from college that I used to tutor and thought was cute. (Hey, we spend most of our free periods correcting poorly written essays filled with adolescent angst. Sometimes we need a break ;). One of my colleagues, I'm 26 and she's 24, said, "Hey, I've never seen you with a black guy. You don't like them?" and I was almost shocked at how offended and surprised she sounded before I remembered to appear unruffled by her comment, and smiled. "Huh?" I said. "I've never seen you with a black guy either. Does that mean YOU don't like them?" She simply blinked, and our third young, white colleague did also and said nothing(I've been out socially with her and she likes all kinds just like I do. "Yeah. I guess you're right," she finally responded. Haha. Some white women, even, especially, young 'liberal' ones, are incredibly invested in keeping their young black women counterparts in boxes. They don't want to compete with US for resources, jobs, and the decreasing numbers of decent, educated, ambitious young men of all colors. More and more, as white women feel this pinch, they will become more vocal about their disapproval of 'us' taking 'their' men. I believe they already loudly disapprove; their glares, eye-rolls and jealous comments simply get erased and silenced by benefit of their elevated status in society. So funny. Maybe she was mad because, though she is the 'nice Jewish girl', I am the one with the 'nice Jewish boyfriend', and hopefully soon, fiancee! Actually, I remember at this colleague's birthday party her mother seem inordinately interested in my boyfriend, asking me, and him, his last name, what he does for work, what his parents do, what my parents do, how I came to be teaching at the prep school. I don't recall her mother asking any of the other guests any questions more probing them how they knew her daughter. Fellow young, striving black women, we are the women to watch. We have the world at our fingertips, if only we prepare ourselves for the world through education and openmindedness. I intend to spread this to my younger cousins, students, and friends. No more boxes and no more letting others define us. I'm so glad after all this time being a silent reader, I feel able to comment. This is awesome.

Taylor-Sara said...

That's great girl, so happy for you! She really had quite a nerve asking you all your business like that. I'm glad you had the presence of mind to remain unflappable, and cordial...
I wonder why her mom asked YOUR man all those questions. It almost seemed like she was sizing him up for HER daughter....

Lavette said...

To Anon 6:40pm

LMBO!....Thanks man I needed a good laugh. I must admit though I was crying while reading it.....crying from cracking up so much from laughter that is....LOLOLOL!

See I'm still in hysterics over it I never read a more comical piece!

Anonymous said...

Black men make it clear and explicit ALL THE TIME that they don't like Black women at all, so I don't see why it's such a tragedy if Black women who don't like Black men say it and act on it. These double standards that people (False friends included) stick on Black women are really getting on my nerves!

Anonymous said...

Black men have sites with no other objective than to slander black women. But for some reason, if black women voice their disgust with the state of black "manhood", it's looked upon as absolute blasphemy. And the self same semi-illiterate Negroes who have made the most scandalous & reckless allegations against black women will be the first to be in an uproar and demand that you cease and desist. And these males will be quickly followed by a slew of ww sympathizers and by black women mumbling about their daddy, brothers, uncles, cousins, next door neighbor, brotha on the corner, and sister's boyfriend's barber's granddaddy all being black men.

These fools think that only the men of any group count for anything, and that these men can slander "their" women and the only way the women should respond is by shutting their traps and getting themselves in order.

When women return gunfire, that's worse than wrong! These morons think that, by voicing the truth, we are "disrepecting" them and revealing the true extent of their damage to world. LOL. As if the world doesn't already know. The truth is the world thinks we're idiots for putting up with such horror lo these many years.

Anonymous said...

Anon @ 12:41 am on May 8, RIGHT ON!

Anonymous said...

Good comments Clarice.

A.

cool_splash1 said...

and by black women mumbling about their daddy, brothers, uncles, cousins, next door neighbor, brotha on the corner, and sister's boyfriend's barber's granddaddy all being black men.

What many bw don't realize is that that is their daddies, brothers, uncles, cousins etc. that might be great bm and that's great. At least they have, had an example of good men in their lives. Problem is they can't marry those men because eewww.lol

And just because your mother and father or just your mother or your father raised your brothers to be great bm and to respect bw as well as the other bm in your family learning the same thing doesn't mean that someone else's family is doing the same.

cool_splash1 said...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WbbcqQ9BcZY&feature=response_watch

Looks like they already started with the merchandising. Disney don't play. Anways it was funny how someone complained that Prince Naveen could have been better looking.lol People complained about him being white, non-black and people are complaining that he isn't what they see as hot. Boy

Anonymous said...

Another reason why ww in IRRs w/ bm need to constantly let other people know about it is because of the reason why they got in that relationship in the first place: to get attention. And I'm not just talking about the spoiled princess who dates black guys to piss off her father. What I mean is, that a lot of ww who date bm do so to affirm their liberal politics to themselves. I've even read something to this effect in an article written back in the 1960s about IRRs in either Time Magazine or the The New York Times, I forget which one exactly. These ww view themselves as doing bm a favor by dating or marrying them. This in turn makes them feel special, beneviolent, etc. Therein, in their minds, it only makes sense that they let the world's people know that they have an angel in their midst, and that they should; thus, treat her accordingly. In short, these women are looking for a pat on the head for not being a dirty, dirty racist bigot. So yes, many of them are insecure and may harbor very racist idealogies but dating a bm helps them live in denial about it, keeps the beast at bay. It may seem silly, but my point is illustrated rather well in a series of sketches done by that show MadTV: in the sketches ww/bm ir couple are depicted as hippie type people who go around preaching love, peace, and racial harmony. They write and perform songs to this end and hold themselves up as a prime example of people who have managed to overlook each others races and fall in love. The woman is especially ardent. Yet, the punch line of all jokes in the sketch was her expressing outrageously racist opions or saying something outrageously racist. For example, during aperformance they tell the audience about their first fight which was started over her accusing of stealing her wallet, which was actually near by, in some inoculous place, in plainsight. The woman's racism is consistantly overlooked and even tolerated by her black husband, causing me (or rather, a teenaged me) to wonder what this all really says about him. Or, really all bm involved w/ ww. I am glad however that I've sinced ceased to care...actually never really did, now that I think about. But, anyway my point was to was to hopefully provide some insight into the matter at hand, and I hope I've done that.

Anonymous said...

"Anways it was funny how someone complained that Prince Naveen could have been better looking.lol People complained about him being white, non-black and people are complaining that he isn't what they see as hot."

LOL The threatened (and damaged) Negroes doth protest too much.

The real issue is Prince Naveen looks TOO attractive (and is built like all Disney male love interests are) and is white/Arabic/non black (which is traditionally a big "no no") and Tiana looks "TOO black" (she's not light-skinned with horse hair down to her a**) for the damaged black crew.

I'M SO HAPPY THIS MOVIE IS COMING OUT! And it's about damn time there was a Black Princess for a change.

WONDERFUL imagery for young black girls and girls in general.

You can NEVER start to early educating these young sisters about the importance of following your heart and dating/marrying OUT instead of wasting time with damaged color-struck and going nowhere Tyrone.

I give ALL props to Disney for getting with the times.

Nets said...

"After years of dating all sorts of men- Indian men, Eastern European men, white American men, I have only felt truly worshiped by my black man" She says. WORSHIPPED? All these years she was dating she was looking, not for a life partner, but a man servant.
Alot of Black British boys & men are these too eager to please man-servants to non-Black women.
Going a little off topic here, successful Black British men, especially the footballers, would rather be seen with the trashiest, ugliest Glamour models than with Black women. You see them in top London clubs spending so much for these hookers who cheat on them from the very beginning or as soon as the money stops coming in they move on to the next fool. I hit back by looking elegant and being on the best tables with my white friends who spend even more buying the best champagne. It's a bit childish yes, but I just want to show them that while they are worshipping trashy white women I am being worshipped, no, respected and treated like a person by succesful white men.
Not all BIG spender black men in these clubs are chasing after white women and those would be the Nigerians. Well let me say some of them; the ones i've seen anyway. They turn up with beautiful black women and sometime beautiful white women. My point is that it seems like for some of them white does not equal better.
There is nothing wrong with interracial couples, (I'm really attracted to white men) I'm just sick of black british men who act superior because he is with a slutty, fake-tanned, tangerine orange, dirty looking... white woman.
Sorry for rambling but sometimes you just need to rant, you know?!