Total Pageviews

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

When the object of your desire has a racist mom.....












How much influence does a man's mother have on him? And can a relationship work if the man you are interested in has a truly racist mother?


I was watching this show called * Momma's boys* the other day. It's about 3 young men 1 Jewish, and the other one Iranian, and one white. They are supposedly looking for love, and their mother's will have an input as to who they choose. There are 32 young women in the house (living with the mothers) of all ethnicities.

They all watch videos of the mothers, and what these mother's are looking for when it comes to a mate for their respective sons. Two of the mothers seem sweet (of course looks can be deceiving) but one mother in particular basically goes off on a racist rant. Exclaiming loudly to all withing earshot, about how she did not want her son with a black girl, Asian girl, or Jewish girl. (This is the Iranian mother) She basically goes on to say how she does not like Jews, and could not bear to see her son with anything other than a white girl. The most significant part of this is that the girls are all watching and the Asian girl begins to cry. Many of the girls were angry, and when she eventually comes to the house, an argument ensues between her and a black girl, named Vita, who confronts her. Thinking that this may hurt her chances with Jojo, Vita cools down, and later apologizes. But it is to no avail. She is eliminated soon afterwards. Subsequently, Jojo sets his eyes on another black girl in the house named Misty. Like Vita, she is attractive, educated, and outspoken. When Jojo's mother sees Misty about to leave for her date with her son, she explodes. She calls Misty a slut, and tells her to change her clothes, and that she better not put her lips on her son Jojo. Misty, holds her own, and basically tells his mother to kiss off without bothering to hide her irritation or trying to remain civil. She and Jojo have a passionate date int he hot tub which included lots of kissing. They are unaware that his mother is watching from a helicopter above. The point is that when Jojo finds out about the argument with his mother, he summarily dismisses Misty as well, saying he could never be with someone who disrespected his mother. Watching the show made me furious (although it's probably staged) But he never asked Misty what happened. He made no mention of how the mother had disrespected Misty, he only seemed concerned about the fact that Misty had talked back to his mom in a manner consistent with the way his mom had talked to her.


My Take:

I think if anyone was dating a man like Jojo in real life. It would be extremely hard to make the relationship work. She would probably feel like she was walking a tightrope. His mother's opinion of the women in his life seems to weigh heavily on his dating choices, yet he seems extremely unconcerned about his mother's lack of respect, and basic civility for these women. I believe all men should have respect for their mothers. That goes without saying, however, with that being said, he must also have the sense to see when his mother is out of line, and the unmitigated capacity to tell her so. He should be man enough to tell his mother to back off, and not arbitrarily decide that because she is his mother, she is inherently innocent in her remarks. His mother was extremely offensive in many instances, yet he kept pretending not to notice. I would think that regardless the woman's color, she is going to be hard pressed to have a relationship with a man of this caliber. Keep in mind, that he was a very nice young man, but his penchant for letting his mother get a pass on numerous racist comments, in conjunction with his habits of eliminating women who challenged his mother, would make a relationship with him a herculean task. I would definitely tell this girl to run regardless of her ethnicity. Jojo needs a serious wake up call. As does any man who allows his mother to control him, and his choices in women....... What do you all think? Do you think a relationship has a chance when the mother (who is biased, racist, or just hateful) has a unequivocal stronghold on her son?

61 comments:

kara said...

This guy is a racist like his mother. Don't let the smile and the "nice guy" act fool you!

I haven't seen the show, but I keep hearing about how "nice" he is and how racist his mother is. The fact that he doesn't seem bothered by his mother's attitude tells me that he agrees with it and probably enjoys it. He loves that pedestal that he is on and I agree that a woman of ANY ethnicity is in trouble with this mama's boy.

If you are with a man who is a MAN, the relationship will be between you and he and his mother won't have undue influence. If she is racist, trust me, he knew that before he started dating you! I would expect any man that I am dating NOT to put me in an uncomfortable situation. If his mother, father, relative or anyone else that he insisted on being around were truly racist AND he did not challenge them and expected me to put up with it, he and I would not last long. Life is too short and I certainly wouldn't subject my children to that poison.

Sandz said...

A lady at work was telling me about the show, especially the confrontation with Misty and Jojo's mother. The First thing i asked was, did he hear/know/find out what his mother said to her?

When she told me 'nooo' I just shook my head.

The lady was saying how surprised she was at his mother's behavior. I said 'why?!' it is nothing new, just they have some nut actually showing it on a reality show.

But I agree, any girl with Jojo should just run, far far away.

Taylor-Sara said...

absolutely, He actually had the audacity to tell Vita that she should apologize to his mother! He never asked his mother to apologize to either one of these young ladies! I find it very telling that he pretends not to notice how racist his mother is. You are right Kara, it must be because he secretly shares her views, but *feigning niceness* gives him the oppt. to play both sides of the fence....

Jenn said...

I have not seen the show because I don't watch TV (shows like this are why I stay as far away from it as possible! *LOL*). But I don't think any relationship could survive if a mother is stuck that far up her son's behind, and/or vice versa. I've always thought that any mother who has that much influence over and is that involved in their son's life has issues. And because she has issues, the son will most likely have them, and maybe a little more. It's very unhealthy to me.

He is not a man (not by my definition) if he can not make choices of his own volition, and certainly if he can not stand up to his mother when she is so blatantly out of line. Who wants to be with someone like that?

tnt5150 said...

One note..so far the Jewish young man seems to like a black young lady and his mom too has expressed how she wants him to marry a Jewish girl. The young man agreeded with his mother that a Jewish girl would be nice, but he also made it very clear that he will date whom he likes and whatever happens happens and the mother though not happy seemed to respect that.

Anonymous said...

I saw that progam too. And the girl he was with, she was really attractive. But it was obvious he and his mother didn't care about how attractrive she was nor the fact she was well educated.

Honestly, I don't know why black women be on shows like that anyway. You know that white guy IS NOT gonna pick those blacks girls over the white ones anyway. Maybe that will work in another country, but not this racist land.

One more thing. I didn't know Kid Rock has a mixed (black & white) child. I knew he did date a black woman back in the day tho.

Anonymous said...

I have watched the show and become very upset when I watch it (yet I continue to watch). Anyway, the Jewish mom is racist as well. She stated that she wanted her son to be with a Jewish girl and wouldn't like him to be with someone that doesn't share their heritage. That doesn't make her racist b/c I understand wanting your son's family and your grandchildren to be of the same faith if you take your faith seriuosly. However when he picked the bg to go on a date with and he picked a white non jewish girl to go on a date with she was only upset about him picking the bg. Why is that? The wg wasn't jewish either so why wasn't she just as upset. I think that she doesn't want him to date a bg which could lead to mixed raced grandkids which would be OBVIOUSLY NOT Jewish. She seemed nice at first and then her true colors came out. I don't think that she thought her precious son would EVER be into blk girls so she didn't have to go off on a racist rant like Jojo's mom. Watching this show made me realized even more how lucky I have been in regards to my in laws. I have only been treated like family from the get go and my kids are treated no differently that the other grnadkids and nieces. There has never been a problem. I can't say what they think inside their heads all I can say is that in 13 years I have felt loved and respected by my husband's family and my family has been the same towards him as well.

Lavette said...

Hi Sara,

My name is Lavette I am sort of new to your blog I've been reading it but I've not posted anything until now so this is my first time posting on your blog and like Evia's I LOVE IT!!!

I've watched Momma's Boys right up until they started eliminating the sisters and then I just stopped watching period I couldn't stomach much more of it.

These mothers are a disgrace to motherhood there is no excuse for behaving like this at all and this just shows that they have absolutely no class, respect or dignity whatsoever. Unfortunately I believe that these son's are not ready at all for an Interracial relationship the jewish son when asked by one of the black women if he's ever dated a black woman before and he said no.

The black women don't seem to have much chance at all with these BOYS and its too bad they are putting themselves through this hassle because to me they are not men. The mothers are not thinking black when choosing a mate for there sons they are thinking white only so I personally if I were them would not even bother with a man who prides himself on being a momma's boy.

JoJo is going to be single for a long time if he doesn't get a clue soon because his mother is running his life and he doesn't have the stones to tell her to stay out of his life.

I agree with you Sara on your commentary.

Taylor-Sara said...

Hi lavette, and welcome....
You are right about Jojo. It's ridiculous for him to expect for any young woman to put up with the blatant disrespect his mother shows, and still remain quiet. I know he's only 21, however it really is time to cut the apron strings and grow up....

Lavette said...

Thank you Sara for warm welcome. I have learned so much from your blog and Evia's blog that you both have me on my own mission towards living well. I've shared your link and Evia's link with my friends too and they are busy as well. So much love, support and thanks to you.

Now as to the Baby boys....oops Mommas Boys..LOL!

After the darker skin sister was sent home that's when I tuned out of the show. As one poster here already said I don't know why these black women are even on this show they really don't stand a chance with such controlling mothers especially racist ones.

energize said...

I don't watch these type of shows, because I find them demeaning to women. All those women standing around begging to be with an everyday guy you see at the grocery store?

I think it is quite courageous for the bw to put themselves out there letting the world know they want options.

On the flip side (red flag waving), it is additional stress to be with a man who cannot LEAVE his mother and define himself and his relationships. If we fast forward, not only will she go at lengths to control your husband, but she will also try to control your children. I can't see a 60 year old woman with racist tendencies changing anytime soon.

BW have enough stress in their lives without volunteering for that situation.

Pamela said...

Momma's boys are just that. Leave them all alone. The momma may or may not be racist BUT you will still have a hellish time. Let the momma kiss them goodnight and get a real man.

I would not even try to deal with a non-bm that will not stand up to racists PERIOD, especially in their own family.

Lavette said...

Amen Energize!

Even the Bible says a man shall leave his mother and cling to his wife. These clowns have it all backwards.

Velvet Queen said...

THANK YOU SO MUCH SARA FOR THIS POST!!!!!!!!!!

Seriously!!!

I have been considering writing something about that show on my own blog but I haven't been able to really place my finger on how too. But you are sssooooo right!!!!

I've been keeping an eye on Momma's Boys every now and then and I was sort of shocked that they even allowed a mother like Jojo's to even get any airtime but...you know...entertainment. I was not entertained at all. I think the producers and whoever even insisted on those type of characters on the show should be ashamed of themselves.

But first off, I don't consider JoJo a man. I don't mean to be harsh but quite frankly HE is the one who lacks decency of respect. It's good to respect your mom (I condone that!) but when you don't share decent humane respect for the woman you are dating, her inherit right to respect...then immediately I loose all respect for that man. I'm serious. Its not a black or white thing, or black and Middle Eastern thing. IT'S CALLED MUTUAL RESPECT BETWEEN A MAN & WOMAN!!!

If he cant show that....then I consider him damaged. End of story. I refuse to allow myself to be dehumanized if I can help it. I think this show is a good example of the difference between MEN and BOYS.

I could write on and on and on and on with complaints about this show.......lol! And I most certainly feel like it right now but I'm going to restrain. Idiots are NOT worth getting all upset about. It's a waste of my precious time! Ha ha!!!!

Anonymous said...

I watched it all the way through for the first time last night. This is not the first interracial couple where the white mother was up in arms.

I am going to say this and I know that some wont agree with me but I dont think that a woman should ever jump up in anyone's mother's face under any circumstance...they should just walk away. However, if she hits you...that is a different story. But words are just words.

I saw clips from the previous show and I was mortified to see the black girl jump all up in the mother's face. You are trying to get her son!!! If she insults you you can either ignore it and focus on her son or you can get out of the situation because you know that you cannot deal with the mother. That would impress him either way that you had the class to not disrespect his mom. Everytime a black woman is on a reality show it looks like we are just uncuth, ghetto and really dont know how to carry ourselves. There is also another reality show on ABC about inner beauty and the black girl (attractive) was the first to be dismissed.

These types of shows are set up to showcase how different people carry themselves and black women FAIL MISERABLY everytime. If you get the man good, if not that is cool also. Dont ever let them see you act like anything less than a lady!!! That is something that seems to have not been taught to the majority of black women who appear on reality TV. A lot of "other" men dont look our way because we are seen as more trouble than we are worth.

I just wish more black women would start carrying themselves with class. I recently joined a mostly white professional development group. There is a white woman in the group who I would love to punch in the face but I know that I have to handle myself in a ladylike way. I will eventually take care of her but I will come out looking like a lady. That is very important for black women. We complain that they only show negative images of us but we contribute to it and that girl had a choice to walk away!

cool_splash1 said...

However when he picked the bg to go on a date with and he picked a white non jewish girl to go on a date with she was only upset about him picking the bg. Why is that? The wg wasn't jewish either so why wasn't she just as upset.

Makes you wonder what she would have done if he had picked a black Jewish woman. Because there are black Jews

Karua said...

I totally agree with everything you say Sara! I also agree with the first poster that even though he isn't apparently racist like his mother there is *no* way he couldn't have known that that would be her reaction, or at least her opinion and that he most likely harbors some of these same thoughts. Maybe he truly wants to try and get over them but standing back for racist behavior, especially from someone close to you is almost as bad as being racist yourself.

My boyfriend is Taiwanese-American and his mother comes from a very traditional household and so she only wants him to marry a fellow Taiwanese girl... imagine her surprise to find out that he's dating me! He told me she railed on him for hours and even told him he shouldn't even touch me! As if my skin oozes crap or something... All I know that was my first time *really* experiencing something like that and it was a tough time for our relationship. Later he told me that he has family in Taiwan that is of the rich sort(descendants of royalty) and if they knew he was with me he would lose his inheritance! God knows that was a shocking day and I really thought it over hard... I really would have respected his decision to break up with me! And you know what he did? ...He didn't... I know so many men that would have done it for much less and a year and half later today I still love him and I *know* he loves me because of those sacrifices he has made for me.

So I say, if it's just a matter of the mom being racist, *any* guy that really wants to and loves you can get past it. Also, I think a truly good mom will still love her son regardless of things like this.

Taylor-Sara said...

Wow Karua!
That was interesting. Are you two planning to marry? And how does his mom feel about you now? Is she starting to come around?....

Karua said...

Hahah, I'm only college aged XD I've thought of it but marriage seems so scary so we're just seeing where it'll lead : 3

Karua said...

Oh, and I still haven't spoken to his mom... she kinda just refuses to admit that I exist... His dad though, doesn't want to rock the boat with her so he doesn't complain. My boyfriend says that he did tell him in private that he doesn't mind as long as he keeps his studies up and I'm a nice person. I always wanted to meet him since he never had any problem with me (he's American-born if that's anything).

My boyfriend says that every now and then his mom tells him "Oh, so and such is pretty" and tries to nudge him towards another girl but he's only interested in me lol I really wonder what will happen when he graduates though...

Anonymous said...

Most white mothers do not want their sons dating a non white woman, in fact some don't even want them dating another European cultural group (Irish, Italian, etc)

JaliliMaster said...

"Unfortunately I believe that these son's are not ready at all for an Interracial relationship the jewish son when asked by one of the black women if he's ever dated a black woman before and he said no."

The fact that a non-black man has never dated a Bw in no way means that he is not ready for an IRR(with a Black woman). Afterall, does it mean that if a white guy should find out that a Bw he likes has never dated a white guy before, he should all of a sudden lose interest? If not, then should the same benefit not also apply to white/non-black men when dating a black woman?!

Secondly, if you like a guy, do not go at his mum. Simple as. It makes me cringe when I see stuff like this, especially considering the fact that the black girls weren't the only victims of this womans racism. Frankly, I think all of their reactions were pathetic, wether it were the black girls who went crazy or the asian girl who started to cry(that is just a method of maipulation, she is not interested in getting the woman to change, but instead, is just looking for sympathy). The best reaction would have been to walk away. Ignore her. She can't say anything to you if you won't listen so she'll only bother her son. If you didn't get all in his mothers face(even if you had a genuine reason to), he couldn't have used it as an excuse to evict them!

witchsistah said...

I'm with the other ladies Momma's Boy issues (race-based or no) just are NOT worth dealing with. Most times, these morons don't get that you will have a much different relationship with them than their moms have with them because they expect every woman to treat them like the Little Lord Fauntleroys their moms do. And because they KNOW their moms will continue to treat them like Little Princes, while women will expect them to be MEN, they'll ALWAYS choose mommy.

I've never seen this show but it makes me want to kiss my husband. He knew his momma was crazy (not overtly racist-but I've heard some stories from him so I'm not fooled) and simply agreed when I pointed it out to him. I can critique his family's behaviors (not that I do that often because who wants to live with someone constantly running DOWN your peeps) and not have him go off on me. In fact, he even told me if his mom said anything crazy to me to tell him asap. I said I'd go find him after I was finished dressing her up from her toes to her head. And yes, I'd not only be a lady about it, but I'd use all sorts of neato, multi-syllabic, SAT words that she didn't know.

Oh, and one reason why BW go on these shows is that many of them are plants. They're hired by the production team to be on the show to fake diversity. Many of them are not simply real people who happened to be chosen

Velvet Queen said...

"Even the Bible says a man shall leave his mother and cling to his wife. These clowns have it all backwards."


AMEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That's the truth!!!

Anonymous said...

Sorry but my mom and dad taught me to respect them. And if I didn’t I would have a short life for disobeying my partners. That’s from the bible even my pastor say’s it in church I don’t think the relationship can work if the mom or dad does not like them that his parents blood thicker then water

Gloryus said...

Nice post Sara. I only was able to watch the first episode of this show so it's nice that you gave an update on it :-)

Down to business. I will NOT date a guy who gives me the impression that he cant think independently. Momma's boys are OUT of my list... I wont even consider dating one! If/when I get into an argument with his mother he's always going to take her side, so what's the use of having a boy-puppet for a boyfriend/husband? I like to date MEN, not boys.

Gloryus said...

And as far as the race aspect goes.... before I date a white guy I always want to know HOW his parents feel about him dating IR and also dating a BLACK woman (2 questions). If he doesnt know or he has to 'check with them', then sorry that shit isnt going to fly with me. I've been seeing a guy for close to a month now and I had to go through that question with him. His parents live UP NORTH so you know that areas like that lack racial diversity. I havent met his parents but he says they wouldnt care about stuff like that. I tend to be a bit hesitant and I also have my walls up when I'm dating a white guy who hasnt dated a black woman before (I'm the 1st blk woman he's dated). I take the bedroom aspect of it VERY SLOW lol. Hey, I'm just looking out for myself.

Chichi said...

As much as I see how Jojo's mother is a racist, the fact is, she doesn't like ANYONE her son dates. He has 2 blondes to choose from now (probably to make his mother happy) and she still doesn't like either of them. She's running his life and he's letting her. There is nothing more unattractive/unappealing than a man who can't stand up to his mother. I'm not talking about being disrespectful... just taking ownership of his life as his own. As a bw if I'm going to date a wm (or any man for that matter), he has to be strong. I’m not asking you to beat everyone up on my behalf but you should stand up for me FIRST (before anyone else) just as I would do for you. I'm looking for someone who will take care of me and be a safe haven otherwise I might as well be alone.
I do agree with the women who said that the bw on the show should have showed more decorum. Why rise to the challenge? I understand how upset and irritated they are but nothing makes a crazy racist look worse than a target who doesn’t take the bait. Let THEM look like the fool that they are. As soon as we start acting a fool right along with them, it diminishes how ridiculous their point of view was in the first place.

Lavette said...

"The fact that a non-black man has never dated a Bw in no way means that he is not ready for an IRR(with a Black woman). Afterall, does it mean that if a white guy should find out that a Bw he likes has never dated a white guy before, he should all of a sudden lose interest? If not, then should the same benefit not also apply to white/non-black men when dating a black woman?!"

@Jalilmaster: I understand what you are saying but my point was after he said no he didn't even express an interest in dating or getting to know her now this could be because of the influence these mothers have on their sons. Think about it a lifetime of listening to your mothers racist diatribe will have some affect on the psyche.

I can understand why the women reacted the way they did, personally myself I just wouldn't bother mommas boys so that takes care of that headache right there but being black female that has grown up in an all white suburb being called nasty names it generates a knee jerk reaction but over time I've learned to handle these matters different.

Thank you Jesus for keeping me.

Not condoning their behavior but I understand it.

cool_splash1 said...

I don’t think the relationship can work if the mom or dad does not like them that his parents blood thicker then water


Really so why have married people that had inlaws that didn't like or love them go on to have happy marriages. Real men choose the woman they love over family if they have to.

Sandra77 said...

The bible says to "honor" your parents. It does not say that as men and women you are to remain children and be subject to them always. God expects people to grow into adulthood and become independent. He expects a married couple to cleve unto each other, not to their parents. This is not inconsistent, so long as you understand that to honor in this context means to respect, not to be subject to once you are an adult.

I have seen successful marriages in which an in-law on one side (so often the mother rather than the father) does not really like/approve of their offspring's spouse. That is a parent who cannot cut the apron strings - that is a parent who wants to control what s/he has not been given authority to control. Do not humor that control freak - put him or her in their place by thriving and living well in spite of them. I would say not to give up a quality man just because of a controlling parent, so long as that man is truly "quality" - i.e., a grown man who has a mind of his own, will defend you against that parent, and will (respectfully) put that controlling parent in his/her place or give that parent a wide circle if s/he refuses to bring their behavior in line.

Sandra77 said...

I would also add that, given that this mother and son are not white themselves, they had better hope that the son finds a girl from a non-racist white family who will be willing to accept a non-white son-in-law. Otherwise, if the girl's parents share this mother's prejudices, it will be the girl's parents treating this mother and son as this mother and son have treated these two BW. It would be hard to feel sorry for people who are given a taste of their own medicine.

T. Alexandria said...

My cousin was married a few months ago to a wm with racist parents. The whole situation has been a real nightmare for her. However, our family has been nothing but supportive. Both my cousin and I have ethnically mixed or biracial grandparents on both sides of our respective families, so we were raised to believe that love is what matters, not color, ethnicity, or nationality. I don't really know her husband well yet, but from the limited interaction I've had with him, and from the reports I've heard from our extended family, he's earned my respect.

He has done everything possible to honor his parents (even going so far as to invite them to be in the wedding party, which they flatly refused), but he has made it clear that my cousin is his choice for his bride, and they are going to be together for life whether or not anyone likes it or accepts it.

His mother has displayed worse behavior than his father, implying that my cousin is after her son's money (although they're both attorneys and she has been practicing longer than he has!!!), saying there's no need to rush into having kids (because the marriage won't last long), etc.

I think a relationship can work if a man has a racist mother if he's strong enough to be a man and protect his girlfriend/wife while still being respectful to his mother. Sometimes, honoring your parents means being a better person than they taught you to be.

Chichi said...

"Sometimes, honoring your parents means being a better person than they taught you to be."


Great point!!!

Pamela said...

sandra77, I totally agree. The controlling parent is NOT the issue. The momma's boy is. The in-laws can scream all they want. If the man will not stand up for her then she needs to kick him to the curb and find someone else that is a true man.

T Alexander, sounds like your cousin needs to thank God for her husband. She got a real man there:)

CW said...

@ALL For Clarification with counter-verse:

"Sorry but my mom and dad taught me to respect them. And if I didn’t I would have a short life for disobeying my partners. That’s from the bible even my pastor say’s it in church I don’t think the relationship can work if the mom or dad does not like them that his parents blood thicker then water"



This is where a lot of people (Especially Black folk) get caught up in a lot of false doctrine because they don't read THE.WHOLE.BIBLE...Nor do they use any critical thinking to gain understanding...

-Yes we honor our parents for they gave us life...

-No we do not curse out, hit, and otherwise disrespect our parents...

-Once the child is of age, they have the free will...Any bad choices will bring about appropriate consequences...

Gen 2:24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.

Mat 19:5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?


Mar 10:7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;


http://www.blueletterbible.org/search/translationResults.cfm?Criteria=leave+cleave&t=KJV

CW said...

Let's end the deceptions of half-truths ; )

Felicity said...

He is not worth it, there are better men out there with nicer mothers.

Delishmish said...

I personally could not be with someone whose mother (or immediate family) was "racist."

I just think there are enough NORMAL people in the world that I would never subject myself (or MY family)to such behaviour.

This woman is outrageous, but I really blame NBC...the ones who have allowed this monstrous woman into the living rooms of America.
....I wonder where she developed these kinds of ideas? Surely not in her home country?

I can't even be bothered to talk about her any more...not worth the effo....( D stops typing)

Selena said...

*Passes colecton plate to CW*

Amen!

Miss Pinky said...

"This is where a lot of people (Especially Black folk) get caught up in a lot of false doctrine because they don't read THE.WHOLE.BIBLE...Nor do they use any critical thinking to gain understanding..."

____________________________________

Cyber high-fiving CW !!!!!!!!!!!!

Gloryus said...

Great input T. Alexandria. I agree with your take on it.
The only way I'd date or marry a white guy whose parents are racist are if he makes it clear to them that he wont be condoning their racist attitudes towards the relationship AND also he must want to put distance between us and their negativity.
Otherwise, I do just fine dating guys whose parents aren't racist.

Anonymous said...

wow the Jewish mom on the finals ask her son to choose her or one of the last 2 women thats crazy who does that
by the way are the white women jewish because the mom not that mad about them

Taylor-Sara said...

Anon,
it was the Iraqi(sp?) who asked her son Jojo to chose her over the last girl. It will be in the finale. She is so twisted that she actually thinks she has to compete for her son's love. She is in dire need of a good psychiatrist.
The jewish guy is interested in the blk girl but he mom wants him to choose lauren (jewish girl) It's pretty obvious he's not interested in lauren, but we'll see what happens. He and the bg had a great date, and he bought her jewelry. When they came back, his mom was going ballistic (because they had such a long date) and went all out to start a fight with Camilla (the blk girl). Camilla did not take the bait, and continued laughing, smiling, and talking about how great the date was... His mom was livid. She even damanded to know why Camilla bought him a flowered shirt AFTER Camilla had clearly told them the shirt was tropical and NOT flowered. She kept making snide remarks trying to get Camilla upset. Camilla remained classy, and unflappable. It was pretty hilarious to see his mom's face. Then she (Mom) confronted her son and demanded he stop seeing Camilla. He has so far has refused. He finally asked her why she objected to Camilla, but not to Nicky (who is also NOT Jewish) hmmmmmmm? She looked stunned by her own racism, but continued to rant that Camilla was not the girl for him. She demanded he send Camilla home that night. On last night's episode, he sent Nicky home, and Nicky, and his mom began to cry. He felt very guilty, and it's clear he feels torn, so I have no idea what he'll do during the finale, but since he seems to be a man who stands on his own two feet. My guess is that he will eliminate lauren and choose Camilla. It's clear to me that she is the one he really wants. So we'll see if I'm right....

ak said...

Puh-lease girl! In that case, it's just not worth it! A black woman wasting time with just the one Iranian boy? Please! There's other multi-colored fish in the sea in that case, and from the pics on your blog I clearly see not every non-black man feels his way or his mother's way.

Black women forget these no-backbone-havin mama's boys of ANY color because that's what they are!

Where are the real men at? Stand up to your Mom or other relatives and stand up for the woman you choose for a wife! If a man can't do that then he never truly has my back and then it won't be my loss at all! I really, really don't want any mama's boys of ANY color to tell you God's truth especially when he'd rather side with his mother and her offensiveness!

BW why wate time? Don't be put off, there's more where that came from!

Anonymous said...

Most bw prefer our men to have a back bone.
His mother will be a nightmare to any woman even an Iraqi woman.
She is obsessed with her own son. Dump him! Leave him with his Mom.
LOL...maybe she should marry him.

Anonymous said...

Where are the real men at? Stand up to your Mom or other relatives and stand up for the woman you choose for a wife! If a man can't do that then he never truly has my back and then it won't be my loss at all!


men are expected to be the leaders of their communites; however, they are also expected to respect the wishes of their family/community to an extent as well. The truth is most cultures expect their men to "marry their own" and those do not are sometimes punished, perhaps severly, if they don't. Punished how? Loss of inheritance, social and work related ostracism (prevelant in the white world) etc.
If men are abandoning the women of their race: it weakens the race and community as a whole; something you are witnessing right now in the African American community.

canadianblackchick said...

I completely agree with Sara and the other bloggers. Initially, I thought JoJo was very cute. But now, I think he is just as prejudice as his mother due to the fact that he will not challenge his mother’s comments. I think Jojo and his mother need to be reminded that they “ARE NOT WHITE!” Jojo needs to take back his manhood from his mother. It is pathetic to see a grown man with no backbone.

As for the Jewish mother, please. Enough all ready – the Holocaust, discrimination. I understand why she wants her son to pick the Jewish woman. However, if he does not - how would the White non-Jewish woman relate better than the AA woman. Based on your American history, there was a black holocaust that lasted over 300 years. AA are still being discriminated against today. Would not the AA woman and Jewish son have more in common than the Jewish son and the White woman?

P.S. I love your blog.

Anonymous said...

Well put T. Alexadria, I could not have said better myself.

-Carib

Anonymous said...

Anon 3:56 "maybe she should marry him"

LMAOOO!!!!!!!!......ROTF

Probably that's the only way she will see the "Right Woman" with her son....lol

-Carib

Anonymous said...

Not to change the subject but please just check this out:

http://michelleobamawatch.com/michelles-college-roommate-catherine-donnelly-speaks-again-why

Another example of extreme racism

cool_splash1 said...

men are expected to be the leaders of their communites; however, they are also expected to respect the wishes of their family/community to an extent as well. The truth is most cultures expect their men to "marry their own" and those do not are sometimes punished, perhaps severly, if they don't. Punished how? Loss of inheritance, social and work related ostracism (prevelant in the white world) etc.
If men are abandoning the women of their race: it weakens the race and community as a whole; something you are witnessing right now in the African American community.

Yes men can loose inheritance, social and work ostracism etc., but men are go gotters. They go get a job, go get money, go get the back bone to start a business and who knows maybe earn more than the inheritance that was lost.

Men can get crap for marrying outside, but notice many get away with it where as the women are the ones who are punished for doing the same thing.

Anonymous said...

Welcome to the white man's game y'all. He just basically used her physically and afterward used her supposed disrespect towards his mother as an excuse to get rid of her. That's after he had his fun. He would never marry a black woman. Did he speak out against or at least apologized for his mother's racist actions?

Anonymous said...

The episode tonight was very interesting, and hilarious. Jojo's mother is clearly demented. We can all agree she needs therapy. NBC actually offered her therapy, which she happily(I doubt that) declined.

But, what really stunned me was when the Jewish guys' mother told him not to choose camilla(BW). He is not allowed to see her....Ummm he is not 10, he is a grown man, a grown man that made a HUGE mistake tonight by letting camilla go, even though he cleary had strong feelings for her.....seriously! he couldn't let her go, he seemed so torn, and was overwhelmed with emotion.

But the funny thing was, he left the (3)day paid vacation early, and alone. I guess he really did care about camilla.
Camilla did say he will be calling her after the show.....lol
He really made a big mistake not choosing camilla, she seemed so right for him.

I hope he makes the right decision in the future, because in the end it is you who determine your future.

-carib

Anonymous said...

Jojo's "muthda" is insane...plain and simple. Jojo is a little boy's name. The guy is a big WUSSY.

Personally, I would not want to be part of their family.
Camilla was lucky that he did not chose her. Who needs the headache.
Camilla is beautiful and she can easily get a successful MAN with a backbone.

a.f.

Anonymous said...

So Camilla was not chosen?

Big surprise.

I wish BW would avoid ALL of these stupid reality shows. They just want to humiliate us.

cool_splash1 said...

But the funny thing was, he left the (3)day paid vacation early, and alone. I guess he really did care about camilla.
Camilla did say he will be calling her after the show.....lol
He really made a big mistake not choosing camilla, she seemed so right for him.

In reality he will probably end up with Camilla. You have to remember that shows like The Bachelor tell these men who to choose, based on what they think America would choose. There have been many bachelors who choose one of the women they let go.

ak said...

men are expected to be the leaders of their communites; however, they are also expected to respect the wishes of their family/community to an extent as well. The truth is most cultures expect their men to "marry their own" and those do not are sometimes punished, perhaps severly, if they don't. Punished how? Loss of inheritance, social and work related ostracism (prevelant in the white world) etc.
If men are abandoning the women of their race: it weakens the race and community as a whole; something you are witnessing right now in the African American community.


If the Iranian guy is weakening his race, then he can GO HOME and find one of his own kind to marry, an Iranian girl. Last time I checked Iran was full of Iranian people, I've been to Turkey once and I found plenty of Turkish people in there! LOL If white Europeans make his Mom even happier then make him go and find one of those too! Who cares? How is that a loss to BW? Plenty of fish in the same multi-colored multi-cultured sea.
As cool splash pointed out some of ALL kinds of men actually found that BOTH of their own cojones had dropped! LOL They are men.

Welcome to the white man's game y'all. He just basically used her physically and afterward used her supposed disrespect towards his mother as an excuse to get rid of her. That's after he had his fun. He would never marry a black woman. Did he speak out against or at least apologized for his mother's racist actions?

Why waste time bringing this info a BW blog? Convince BM on a BM's blog about this because there are plenty of non-black men who don't act like this yet the black community is full of illegitimate black and biracial kids left behind by black men who play the same game on BW that you're talking about.

lola said...

or the asian girl who started to cry(that is just a method of maipulation, she is not interested in getting the woman to change, but instead, is just looking for sympathy).

I don't believe that was the case. Asians are being made fun of their 'asianness' all their lives, and keep in mind that was on TV for millions to see. I think she was hurt and embarrassed. Get the woman to change? She's a 60+ year old racist, it's too late, and we cannot change people. I agree though that the best method is to ignore the mother.

-----------------------

Sorry but my mom and dad taught me to respect them. And if I didn’t I would have a short life for disobeying my partners.

I think you have the right to confront parents who DIRESPECT SOMEONE THAT YOU LOVE who did NOT do anything to get that kind of treatment. I have mad respect for my parents, but I already TOLD them (especially my dad, you know fathers and their daughters) that they can't run my life. I would cut ties with my parents if they hated the love of my life because of his skin color (or anything as shallow). I think you owe your parents the utmost respect UNTIL they disrespect you or your choices.

lola said...

Where are the real men at? Stand up to your Mom or other relatives and stand up for the woman you choose for a wife! If a man can't do that then he never truly has my back and then it won't be my loss at all! I really, really don't want any mama's boys of ANY color to tell you God's truth especially when he'd rather side with his mother and her offensiveness!

ak, AMEN.

Listen, black women have enough sh## to deal with in this society to waste time and energy on a man who can't run his own life, make his own decision, think for himself, and stand up FOR HER.

Cool_splash1 said it best, we're living in a world where men get away with interracial relationships far more easily than women do. And the black community is probably the least tolerant with their women when it comes to interracial dating. Our punishment is often RADICAL. So, a sista can't afford to risk it all for someone who showed her he will never have her back.

If you allow anybody to disrespect me like this, I don't care if that's your mama, it's OVER! You are the weakest link, GOODBYE!

Taylor-Sara said...

Amen Lola!