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Monday, November 17, 2008

What have you told your child about being biracial?




Garcelle, hubby and the precious 'boys'


Rae dawn, and her daughter:


twin sisters with mixed-race parents in 2 different colors!


Happy IR family frolics together....





How do people react to you when you are with your white husband and/or biracial children? Many bw have written me and asked me to post on this topic. I was reluctant because the last thing I was to do is give misinformation on this subject. I have therefore compromised and agreed to give basic common sense, and then let you ladies talk, and advise each other
I know in my case whether I was with Any mixed-looking child in my family (be it immediate-or not) people have always turned to stare, and ask questions. I remember having my little brother as a baby, and it always seemed Spanish people would turn, look at him, and then stop me to ask about him. -lots and lots of questions. He looks very Spanish with long wavy hair, fair skin and Latino features. He is also bilingual and used to possess a much heavier Spanish accent, than he has now. Latino women actually seemed to get irritated when me and my sister told them that we were his sisters. They always seemed to feel that we were lying since he does not 'look' black at all. It was the same with several other kids in the family, including cousins who were mixed with Chinese, Latino, white etc. But it was always more prevalent with my brother Pedro, and one other particular cousin. Pedro because he looked completely Spanish, and B--- because he looked completely white. He (B) has red hair and blue eyes. His skin is alabaster white and he can pass anywhere. One of my sister's friend's who was at our family reunion, asked me 'who the white boy' was. I told her he was my little cousin, and she had the nerve to say: "You don't have to try to claim white people-it's obvious he's NOT from this family!" Well when everybody was finished telling her off, she backed down and looked around. I guess it was then that she realized we had EVERYTHING in our family, and plenty of mixed people, (although B--- is the only one who can really 'pass'. We have had wp have the nerve to ask us 'where we got him from!' Like we just picked up some random white child and ran off with him! (lol) Genetics is a funny thing. I myself have Indian and white (slave owner's daughter ran off with my Indian-slave grandfather) yet I am quite dark. So for all you ladies out there wondering what to tell your children. I would say, tell them the truth. That most Americans are mixed with 'something', and that light or dark they are beautiful and special just the way they are. Statistics say that 90% of AA have at least 2 other races in their blood, and 70% have 3 or more. Make them understand that when ppl are scared they are liable to act in ugly ways. Make sure they understand that when they find themselves mistreated for not looking 'black enough' by bp, or being accused of being too different by others. Don't believe the media-induced hype that tries to imply you cannot raise healthy, happy, emotionally stable mixed children. You most certainly can. Pedro, my brother, was always very happy and carefree. He knew how much we loved him and that was all that really mattered to him. Even when ppl tried to tell him that we were his half-sisters (WE DO NOT BELIEVE IN HALVES-HE IS OUR BROTHER-END OF STORY!) He always brushed it off because he had a very strong sense of self and a good foundation. He still does, and I think that's one of the most important qualities to instill in mixed children. A strong sense of self that will enable them to brush off other people's opinions, attitudes, and prejudices. What I really hate is when ppl get nosey and feel they have a right to ask you all about your child, almost like an interrogation. Have you all ever experienced this?

Are you babysitting that child?

Is that your child?

Ah...Is she/he adopted?

He doesn't look a thing like... ah you!

Or the worst one (turning to another wp ) "she says that HER child!"

I think it's best to prepare your children as soon as they can understand for the never ending ignorance that pervades America. Explain to them that they are not freaks, they are precious children and that they are just like everybody else. Most kids want to feel normal more than anything. Stop worrying about the ignorant ppl- and just give them lots of love. They'll be fine. Kids are pretty resilient. A friend of mine recently had her 3rd child. This is the only one that is biracial by her new wm husband. She worried endlessly about the baby being too white and that she would not feel connected to her. I told her not to worry because secretly I thought there was little chance of the baby being too light because she is SOOO black. Well, I was shocked to see the baby was indeed very very white looking (Genetics is funny) but I could tell by the look of love and awe on her face in the hospital she felt extremely connected to her new daughter. That baby senses how much she's loved and takes full advantage of it, by making her parents jump like puppets! (lol) but I guess better too much love, than too little...The point is to relax and know that your children will be ok. But I know many of you want the advice of several mothers. So I would like to ask those of you who are mother's of biracial children:

What are you telling your children when adults are rude to your child?
What do you think is the most important gift to give a biracial child?

What do you tell your children when other children are rude?
What coping skills are you instilling in your kids?

What do you tell them when ppl ask them (your children) your dad is really _____ ? (insert race)

Ladies, lets talk about it, and learn how to best love, support and guide these little blessings through this great big world.......

45 comments:

Velvet Queen said...

This is such a good topic. I don't have any kids of my own (not married yet so...) but I do have a plethora of little siblings, little cousins, and little cousins 2, and 3 times removed. Ha ha! And every last one of them are the most colorful bunch you could imagine! I guess you could say we're a pretty tight nit family.

I have one particular cousin who is very, very dark, and her first son literally came out white looking and the father is not even white! (White blood is everywhere in the family). He has light brown hair with blondish highlights, and light brown eyes...and is so milky white he's almost translucent!!! Often she goes out and white people (women in particular) stare her and her son down. Some have even come up to her and complimented the child's good looks (he is a very good-looking kid) and then go on to ask if she's babysitting!!!! Others will just simply stare...and follow her around!!! There have been a couple of times that my cousin has been so concerned that someone may think she kidnapped her own son!!!! When she does tell them that the kid is in fact her child, many of these curious onlookers look at her as if she's somehow lying!!

I'm sure these sorts of situations can be really irritating for some parents. But there are other times when strangers will simply be curious not in a negative way but in a positive way. (The “celebrating diversity” thinkers are out there!) I happen to be one of those. I think if you really pay attention you can tell if the person is coming off in a negative or positive manner. For example: my baby sister is very JAPANESE looking, and when I say that...i really mean it. (Of course my mother is part Japanese so...yeah). Often when I am babysitting her ( I purposely show her off) many, many Japanese women have gathered around her pronouncing blessings upon her!!! None of them ever looked at me with an evil sneer! In a matter of fact, they have often been very friendly open, and sometimes I got the impression that I was being treated like family. Of course I don't necessarily say that she's my sister...because then I'll have to go into a whole genealogy description of my family which I have done many times before and believe me there are people who will sit down in the middle of the mall and listen to everything and ask a million questions and then talk about their own family and this and that and this and that and that......



But I have to admit, when people ASK the question of what are you or what are they, I happily give them the whole nine yards and maybe a family story or two whether they like it or not. That's how proud I am of my heritage and family.

Taylor-Sara said...

That's so funny girl. I know that one of my little cousins has a half chinese father. The father does not look chinese-just light skinned. But it came out in the child. He is quite pale and has very slanted-chinese eyes and whenever we go out for chinese with him, the servers always follow him around and try to talk to him in thier language-it's so funny

kemicutie said...

This topic couldn't have come at a better time for me. I'm 34 weeks along with my first baby with my DH and I just know that it's a crap shoot. If my baby comes out looking very white, then so be it, if not, that's cool too. I guess I'm not too worried about the values we'll instill in our children, just ignorant people I may have to give a good talking to. I'll be keeping my eye on this one. Thanks for putting this out there Sara.

Taylor-Sara said...

ah.... Kemi. Congrats girl-so happy for you!

kemicutie said...

Thank you!!! I'm getting eager as the time is passing, but doing well. DH and I call this the genetic wheel of fortune. We don't know what we're going to get, but whatever it is, we'll be happy and love our baby!

Velvet Queen said...

"Taylor-Sara said...

That's so funny girl. I know that one of my little cousins has a half chinese father. The father does not look chinese-just light skinned. But it came out in the child. He is quite pale and has very slanted-chinese eyes and whenever we go out for chinese with him, the servers always follow him around and try to talk to him in thier language-it's so funny"


LoL!!! I know. It's a fun thing actually. I was thinking of studying Japanese sometime so I can actually KNOW what they're saying about my sister. I'm sure they're not saying anything bad but it would be nice to be able to converse back with them in Japanese. That would be exciting.

tnt5150 said...

My daugther is pale...very pale...heck she is white which is odd since I am dark skined. My husband teases that I have weak genes. I have come to the conclusion that people ask dumb questions out of fear. My daugther looks just like me (my mini me) except for the fact that she is very fair. It is obvious that I am her mother, but it freaks a lot of people out. They are thinking...hey that's a little black girl but she looks white and I can't tell she's black...heck she could be dating my son or something and I would have no idea she is black...that's what freaks folks out.

pikacute said...

I actually have a cousin who looks white but both of his parents are black. My family's genes are very interesting. My maternal grandmother had 7 kids ranging from a white looking red head to a chocolate color! My father's side half of my family is white, but father is medium brown with hazel eyes. MY family is very diverse and I love that. It's sad how people have the tragic biracial complex, not all of them are screwed up. For the biracial people with a DBR for a parent I truly feel sorry.

heather said...

Yeah, I can relate to that. I have a bm cousin who has 4 children. 2 from his first marriage to a bw, and 2 from his second -he left wife #1 for a ww. Well he is so wonderful to the mixed kids. Treating them like gold, and buying for them, taking them places etc. His blk children on the other hand never see him, except when he drives by to take his mixed kids to school. He does not call, provide for, or even claim them. They cry all the time and ask us what they did wrong, but we have no answers. The ww has a beautiful house on the hill, while his ex wife(the blk one) struggles just to feed the kids, and try to be both parents to them. I get so angry i can't even talk about it!

sky said...

don't worry heather he'll get his day.

Q said...

Sara, I don't appreciate the way you imply that everyone in your family is black regardless of what they are mixed with! Starting with your brother, he sounds spanish to me so who are you to decide he's black? Also, the 'white boy' in your family is a WHITE BOY! so stop trying to call everyone black-that is backward, one drop rule thinking!

Anonymous said...

Hello,

I've only recently discovered this blog. I would like to take the opportunity here to thank Sara for running it. Thanks, this blog has answered quite of few questions I had. However, I still have some more...So here goes...
I'm a 20-year-old college student and I began to feel attracted to white guys in my mid-teens.--never been in a relationship with one or any guy for that matter. Now that I'm older though, I've really began to think more about what sort of romantic relationship I'd like to have later on and, currently, I'm leaning heavily towards exclusively or near exclusively dating non-black men, but I find what's holding me back are issues of culture. You see, I don't like white culture. Please don't interpret this to mean that I'm some ghetto hood rat who only likes the typical garbage that passes for black entertainment these days. What I mean is that I don't enjoy preppy, suburban life. You know, pop music (1990s R&B ad infinitum!!!), the slang that's prevalent amongst so many white youths, etc and I know I don't want to raise my children in that culture because I feel like so much of it promotes ignorance of the poor and suffering in the US and around the world and is just generally narcissistic and fake. I'm not Afrocentric or anything, I'm just simply not about that kind of vain, silly stuff. And so, my fear is that I will not be able to find a white man who is apart from that culture without him being a "wigga," so to speak. I am not ghetto and I don't embrace that kind of culture which keeps so blacks trapped in the sorry state they are in, but as I said, I am also not apart of white culture either. I want my children to feel they can lay claim to all the good aspects of black life, black culture. I want them to have a black, earthy soul, like I do. My fear this can't happen if I procreate with a white man. Yet, I don't find many (perhaps most) black men sexually attractive. Additionally, I am a very intelligent (and some say pretty) young woman and simply will not and can not settle for someone who is below me intellectually and professionally. Certainly not all, but many black men will never meet this very important criteria of mine.--I want that good sperm, y'all. So, I'm looking for some advice, some wisdom and insightinto the matter, some reassurance that my fears are unfounded, some help...for a newbie. Thanks.
-Still 20

Taylor-Sara said...

Actually q, it is my family MEMBERS who consider themselves black regardless of what they are mixed with. Even B--- (white boy.) I overheard him trying to 'talk' to 2 little young blk. girls (about 14) one day. And one was saying to him. "I don't go out with no white boy!" He shook his head, and gestured toward us (his family) and said "I ain't white-look at my family-I'm just light shinned!" It' is my 'family members who believe they are blk. Frankly I could care less, I just love them all very much.....

212542 said...

I hate the ODR. If you're mixed your mixed.The ODR makes it sound like just about anyone could be black. Like it's easy to obtain blackness.
As oppose to not everyone could be white. You can't easily claim whiteness. Whites are way more stricter when someone wants to claim they're white. You pretty much have to be Anglo-Saxon to be excepted as white.
Meanwhile blacks have their arms opened to everyone who happens to have brown skin or grew up around blacks.

EmergingPhoenix said...

@still 20 - I think you are in luck, b/c in my experience it is those kind of guys that mostly go for bw. I say mostly, b/c there is no hard and fast rule. I have seen very afrocentric bw with wm, who embrace that or maintain their own identity. So I don't think what you're looking for will be hard to find. Especially if you are living up to that lifestyle, you will attract that type. It's really that simple. In addition to being social, and finding the social groups that fit your likes.

I wouldn't really consider a "wigga" disconnected from mainstream society. As a matter of fact, I consider the whole urban culture pretty mainstream at this point, and anyone emulating it is no different from someone who emulates the Miley's, and Brittany's (back in the day...LOL).

I wouldn't really be too concerned about any of that right now anyway. You're 20! You should be studying and exploring your life, and defining your individuality. Not pinning down a man...Sorry, just my opinion. I am a happier and more self-assured person, b/c I did this, and nobody can define me...as much as they try...

As for the TOPIC. Sorry, I have nothing to contribute. I don't have children, and the older men in my family chose West Indian women (although largely mixed in heritage). And the younger generation largely choose bw in general. There are many shades in my family, but the last time a person actually married outside of black was my Great Great Grandparents...on both sides. And since I knew one of my great grandmothers on both sides (they lived very long), they definitely talked about their parents to me, when I was young. They were both happy women, who seemed to remember happy days. So, I am not worried about whatever children I may have; in that regard at least. They obviously, live happy long lives.

Taylor-Sara said...

212542, I'm not sure if you are referring to my family or not, but even white boy actually IS black. Even if he looks white. His father is white but his mother is black, and dark skinned at that. It's just a fluke that he turned out with technically white skin. It's not all that uncommon as the male genes will often predominate. That's why in the olden days there were so many, many white skinned slaves. And in case any of you don't know, that was the REAL cause of the civil war. (look it up) When the northerners came down and saw so many 'white ppl' being sold, they were furious. Many of these slaves had skin whiter than their own, and they could not make it register in their minds, that these were blk ppl (according to the one drop rule)They went back and told other northerners who came to see for themselves and grew angrier and angrier at the thought of white ppl being sold as fancy girls/boys. (the name given to slaves who could pass as white) They rebelled against this, and this was one the REAL cause of the civil war (in conjunction with territorial disputes)....

212542 said...

Nope not your family T-S just people in general with the ODR.

kemicutie said...

I'm also not a proponent of the ODR. My children will be 1/2 of me, 1/2 of my husband and 100% human. I don't want for the ODR to be applied to them. It would be like if my child turns out looking white and them trying to deny that they have any African ancestry or totally ignoring it. I would be just as hurt if it were the other way around and my child denies his/her white heritage/ancestry. I think in this day and age we need to get beyond that because culturally, they are going to be brought up in a household that honors and respects both cultures and both sides of the family accept my baby already and are eagerly awaiting his/her arrival. So the ODR will not apply here.

Anonymous said...

hey Taylor-Sara,

great blog, i have another picture u can add to the gallery!
it is of Zoe saldana and boyfriend keith!

here is the link:http://www.jamd.com/image/in-search/Zoe+Saldana+and+Boyfriend

Taylor-Sara said...

kemi, that is 100% your right. It's such a touchy subject isn't it? I think I've said before Spanish ppl get VERY upset when my brother tries to call himself blk, he ALWAYS has to clearify and say black and Spanish. He's way too Spanish looking to get away with it. Many times they don't beleive he has ANY blk in him at all! So they still get offended when he tries to tell them he does. So it seems it's a sensitive issue with alot of ppl....

Anonymous said...

Whether we agree or not once people find out that you have any african or blk. blood in you then you are automatically AA/BLACK.
Most wp-once they find out one of your parents or grandparents are AA/blk. then you must be AA/black. Sorry Tiger...your baby girl will still be considered AA/Blk.

I still say when bw were the ones with the bi-racial children no one wanted to change the racial category and now that more ww are keeping their bi-racial children now people are saying we need a new racial category. Why? To make life easier for ww with obviously blk. kids? Live your life and get over the skin thing.

a.f.

cool_splash1 said...

But anon you are talking about now. Maybe we should stop just looking at now and look at the future.

And blk people do the same thing. Someone who looked more white (she is an author don't remember her name) was on Oprah on a show about hatred or racism within your own group. Anyways her father who was white was a priest or studying to be and gave it up and married her mother who was black. She came out looking more white. If you look at her she looks like a white women with blonde hair and blue eyes. She was teaching a class or workshop about race and the black men didn't talk to her etc. until she said my mother is black and then all of a sudden they wanted to talk, hug up all on her and call her sistah etc.

Taylor-Sara said...

wow, that's interesting coolsplash. I do remember Oprah doing a show on how many wp had blk in them, and all kinds of wp were claiming to.(on her show) I beleive she said it was one out of every six....

Anonymous said...

@ cool_splash1...so the author looked more white than black and what is your point?

Yes, more wp are now claiming their blk. side of the family; however, they are not about to give up their white status.

This subject is a dead horse and we are beating it into the ground. Lets move on to something that really is productive.

mas

Anonymous said...

212542 said...
I hate the ODR. If you're mixed your mixed.The ODR makes it sound like just about anyone could be black. Like it's easy to obtain blackness.
As oppose to not everyone could be white. You can't easily claim whiteness. Whites are way more stricter when someone wants to claim they're white. You pretty much have to be Anglo-Saxon to be excepted as white.
Meanwhile blacks have their arms opened to everyone who happens to have brown skin or grew up around blacks.

-----------------------------------
why don't you talk to the people who made the ODR. Black people did not make this rule.

nikki7 said...

My husband and I teach our kids that they humans created by God who happen to be biracial. 1/2 mom, and 1/2 dad. I would not want either one of us to be minimized. We do none of the ODR. When I fill out forms for them, if there is not a category for biracial, I will write it in myself. Or I check the white and black box. Our kids know not to give us any crap about being "confused" about anything. I have NO patience for people who do not take responsibility for their own actions and choices. Come to terms with who you are and move on!

ps. I did have a funny. When my oldest (who is quite fair-skinned) was a baby, I was nursing her in the mall. An elderly white lady sat next to me and exclaimed, "I didn't know you could breastfeed adopted babies!" LOL!

Velvet Queen said...

Hmm, I've been reading the comments and I'd like to add something if I may.

A lot of people tend to believe that if you have any black in you then you should identify as black.

As for white people who have black in them (we'd be quite surprised to know the exact numbers who don't even know it) I don't think they should HAVE to identify as black. If they want to admit that they have African-American ancestry that's fine, don't deny it. But in your everyday lives not everybody is asking you for EVERY SINGLE DETAIL about your ethnic background. If you consider yourself white because that's what you mostly are then its fine. Who has the right to say otherwise?

I consider myself black because I look it, and quite frankly I love it. If I looked more “mixed” than I'd just say I'm this and that. But obviously I don't. However, if asked for details I'd gladly give them the whole rainbow collection of who I am, IF I WANT TO. If I was “white with black blood somewhere in the bloodline” then I'd still go about my life as a white person because that's what I am. Now if someone wanted to know the in depth history of my background then I'd gladly tell them I had a black ancestor if I felt like it.

I have many ancestors (some with not so nice stories) but I only brag about about a few because I can.

I don't think black people should get so upset when white people don't openly talk about their black ancestry. Many black people do the same thing. They deny their white heritage like its some type of curse! But its no big deal for those people (because they ARE out there) who don't deny it. We shouldn't put pressure on people to prove themselves black, or white or whatever else...this is the U.S.A.! Hardly anybody around here is PURE anything unless they're from the mother country!

However, I do think that parents should pass on their ethnic “family secrets” to their children. I heard a story of a Neo-Nazi who was in prison when he got a visit from his mother who finally told him the truth about his father...who was part black. Can you imagine how he must've felt? It was so bad that he committed suicide! This is why I do believe that parents should be honest with their children concerning their ethnic background.

Taylor-Sara said...

wow, that's crazy velvet. I remember watching a movie where a ww is up North (old time movie) and she is set to go home because her father has passed away. A woman asks her how she can tolerate slavery and she is quick to defend it saying her father has always treated his slaves as well as they deserve to be treated. Well, when she gets 'home' and is walking by the auction block smirking, An official looking man approaches her and informs her that her mother (whom she has never met, but the only woman her father loved) was a black slave, and she is therefore considered black. They stripped off her fine clothes and put her on the auction block too! Her expression was priceless...

Delishmish said...

Sara said:

wow, that's crazy velvet. I remember watching a movie where a ww is up North (old time movie) and she is set to go home because her father has passed away. A woman asks her how she can tolerate slavery and she is quick to defend it saying her father has always treated his slaves as well as they deserve to be treated. Well, when she gets 'home' and is walking by the auction block smirking, An official looking man approaches her and informs her that her mother (whom she has never met, but the only woman her father loved) was a black slave, and she is therefore considered black. They stripped off her fine clothes and put her on the auction block too! Her expression was priceless..
----------------------------

I'm sorry! I know this was not intended to be funny, so why am on the ground lmao...

Now this is a movie WE ALL HAVE to see.......even if just to see the "priceless" look on her face as all her fancery is stripped off and she is placed on the block.

Hopefully her new "owners" treated her well...lol...or as well as she "deserved" to be treated..

Sara, if you remember the name of this movie...do tell us!!!

EmergingPhoenix said...

@Velvet Queen - I totally agree. The great thing about America is the ability to self define and be an individual. Plus, I think we are in an age, where we can make the rules/change the rules. Who is anyone to tell someone else how they should define themselves. I never get mad at biracials who define themselves one way or another. I actually find it quite interesting how people have many different ways, but in the end it comes down to values, beliefs and priorities.

If I were to have biracial children, I would definitely want them to acknowledge both sides of their family. I don't want to put the cart before the horse (LOL), but like Nikki said, I would want to concern them more with the fact that they are human, rather than keep feeding into separation based on race. Racism will be alive and well for as long as we continue to subscribe to it as a valid description. THere is so much more to people; so many distinctions that really begin to tell you something about a person, that race can't and never has been able to tell you about ANYONE. So why do we still utilize it as a valid method of distinction? That is my honest opinion on race.

JaliliMaster said...

TaylorSara, you said your cousin 'IS' black, yet in the next sentence, say his dad is white but his mom is black. That kinda makes him biracial! My dad is mixed, but I never even knew (I knew my grandpa was Scottish), but it never clicked that he was white, until I saw a picture of him. I on't need to go around proclaiming that I am mixed or have mixed heritage. To many AA do it. That whole rumour that majority of black amricans are mixed is untrue. It was discovered that only about 6% have mixed ancestry. Yet, even today, so many want to 'claim' some type of non-black blood.

I am black, in every single way. However, if one of my parents was white, I'd consider it silly, in this day and age, to rely on the ODR(which was profoundly racist), in order to ignore half of my heritage. I am proud of my scottish heritage, but I don't need to claim some sort of whiteness as I'm not too sur there is such a thing as 'white culture'. There is, however, scottish culture. So if any bw has a child with a man of irish, english, italian, greek, latino, asian(etc) heritage, make sure they share in that, it doesn't have to be racialized.

But only a fool, in my opinion, would use the one drop rule to call any mixed person black. If one must, there are other less indecent and offensive arguments to use. It is sad that there was even one poster who tries to give credence to the ODR!

Taylor-Sara said...

*sign* I'm not going to argue this point because it is moot. I said that most of my family identifies as black regardless of their racial make up. And I feel that this is their right to self identify however they decide. Some biracial ppl actually get offended by being called biracial. This is really up to the person. Most ppl will simply go by whichever race the person leans more heavily toward. If you are biracial and choose to self identify that way, that is certainly your choice, just like it is the choice of the ppl in my fam. to identify however they prefer-so lets agree to disagree, and leave it at that....

cool_splash1 said...

Hardly anybody around here is PURE anything unless they're from the mother country!

I found out somewhat recently that not all in the motherland are so called pure either. There were two specials I remember scientists trying to find Eve and one trying to find Adam. I can't remember which doc. Anyways one of them ended up in East Africa and doing the swab test and the black people there (and I mean very dark skinned)had East Indian, Chinese, European. Then you have the stories of the shipwrecked Chinese sailors.

Phantom Mare said...

Interesting website:

Mixedfolks.com I think it's still up.

VQ said...
I consider myself black because I look it, and quite frankly I love it. If I looked more “mixed” than I'd just say I'm this and that. But obviously I don't. However, if asked for details I'd gladly give them the whole rainbow collection of who I am, IF I WANT TO. If I was “white with black blood somewhere in the bloodline” then I'd still go about my life as a white person because that's what I am. Now if someone wanted to know the in depth history of my background then I'd gladly tell them I had a black ancestor if I felt like it.
______________________

My thought exactly.

Phantom Mare said...

Adding---

VQ said...
don't think black people should get so upset when white people don't openly talk about their black ancestry. Many black people do the same thing. They deny their white heritage like its some type of curse!
______________

Me agree also. I do not deny the Scottish McCullough (clan??) ancestry I have. Things get pretty interesting in those genes.

Speaking off looking my mother is part Choctaw. But in her young pictures she looks excatly like those girls over in Asia (Sri Lanka?Thailand?) that where the tall gold crowns when they dance and colorful garments. A couple of years ago an African guy mentioned that I had an Asian "structure".An Arab guy asked me what my background was--which was a shock to me as I do have full features and darker skin. To me I don't appear "Asian" but what I notice is that foreign people will pick up on American mixed variations more than *we* Americans do ourselves.

To Americans, since we are so used to seeing each other, we see simply black--white--asian or if there is a "direct" mix such as being biracial.



This is a good topic.

I would like to see Henry Louis Gates jr.(the white man genetically..lol!) do a show on white celebrity genetics. LOL!

Phantom Mare said...

That whole rumour that majority of black amricans are mixed is untrue. It was discovered that only about 6% have mixed ancestry.
________________________

I would like to know where this information comes from.

I think the Henry Gates information would be more accurate albeit a micro-version of the largest AA society--which is very mixed.

Anonymous said...

I am not knocking Mr. Gates research...keep in mind he is married to a ww.

a.f.

cool_splash1 said...

A couple of years ago an African guy mentioned that I had an Asian "structure".An Arab guy asked me what my background was--which was a shock to me as I do have full features and darker skin. To me I don't appear "Asian" but what I notice is that foreign people will pick up on American mixed variations more than *we* Americans do ourselves.

In African American Lives this was addresed as well. All though there are many bp that may not have Indian ancestory many had East Asian. Such as the black woman astronaut that was on the show. When she was in Cambodia (I believe it was someone she worked with) thought she was Cambodian.

Anonymous said...

"It was discovered that only about 6% have mixed ancestry."

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no, AA's have 20%-30% admixture. we are a black people (i don't 'embrace' this admixture) but your numbers are way off.

Anonymous said...

That whole rumour that majority of black amricans are mixed is untrue. It was discovered that only about 6% have mixed ancestry.
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More than likely only about 6% have UNMIXED ancestry.

I've noticed that some non AA Blacks seem to be annoyed by the notion that most AA's are of mixed descent, as though being of mixed heritage makes one *extra special* in some way or another -- oh, and if that is the case, about mixed being special and all, congrats on being 1/4 Scottish, JaliliMaster!)

Taylor-Sara said...

I agree. I have read from many different sources, that 90% of AA's have at least 2 other races, and 70% have 3. Don't know where in the world you got 6% from. I think we can all look to our immediate families and see more than 6% right there.

Keya said...

I say my son looks like a white boy version of me. My family says he looks spanish. My husband thought he would be darker. But I told him my ancestry is mixed, my ancestors didn't come out of Africa with my complexion.

Anonymous said...

"There have been a couple of times that my cousin has been so concerned that someone may think she kidnapped her own son!!!! When she does tell them that the kid is in fact her child, many of these curious onlookers look at her as if she's somehow lying!!"

This reminds me of my friend and her kids - she is white and she married an African man who is very very very dark skinned and has the most extreme features associated with Africans. Anyway their kids, though half white are quite dark, not as dark as their father. She has black women staring her down all the time in malls when she is with her kids. And once a black man - after hearing the kids call her mom - asked her "Those your kids?" and she said "yes" and he said "ooookaaaay" like she was lying

by the way her husband is a really nice man and good father and husband so not all BM are assholes...

Anonymous said...

cool site :D. I'm not black or white, but this is a positive thing to my eyes form todays internet sessions. It pisses me off when I see someone trying to get others to chose side on the white/black issues. I see alot of whites and blacks trying to get asians to be on their side. I read through this ladies blog and it pissed me off some on how she trys to get koreans (she is a black lady teaching and living in south korea) to go against whites, like if her personal opinion on whites is their problem. those people need to stay in the states and stop spreading that kind of thinking around, we have enough already.(americans that is, all the african and carribean blacks I know of are so light on the issue of race, and all the european whites I know date black women)...

Nilacore said...

HA! wow this post is old but i found it interesting and wanted to share a bit too.
Well first off let me just say I look black...very actually but I consider myself multi-racial. Personally I think everyone should unless they're grandparents are all of the same race. I have Nakota native american grandm, a Jewish gm, a black gf, and a german gf. lol a lot right?? I cant identify with just one race without kinda insulting/ignoring another part of who i am. I am also engaged to a wm. lol he is from Sweden so he is 100% pure angalo-saxon. and we plan to instill the values we have on our children, that we are multi-racial/cultural family and we are going to be proud of that. if anyone dares to tell my kids 'oh youre white because you look mostly white' or 'oh youre blk because youre mom is and youre tan' ill have a strong talking to them. I want them to be proud to come from sooo many cultures. My aunt use to tell me "There is soo much hatred in the world because of a silly little thing like race. Mixing races is the only way to get rid of the illness that plagues humanity that is racism."
I thought of that as a child and thought of myself as a sort of cure. Im proud of it and i want my children, no-- all mixed children to be proud of it.