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Sunday, November 2, 2008

Stop accusing us of being bougie, for wanting more!













Stacey is accused of being bougie because she's beautiful. Ms USA because she won a crown. And Mrs Hall because she married a rich white man.....


Why does it seem that if a bw excels, or succeeds on any level, she is considered a sell out or bougie? I constantly hear about sista's who have succeeded on one level or another, and are having to deal with contempt, name calling, shame, and sometimes fear for their very lives! We are supposed to excel! No one works hard to fail! Are we expected to be the losers many urban men have proven themselves to be? How come we are damned if we do and damned if we don't? If we marry white, we are sell outs. If we settle for one of the pathetic mass pieces, that pass itself off as men today, we deserve it when he turns on us like a wild animal. If we throw him out when he's no good, we are turning our backs on good BM. But if we stay and end up in a horribly tragic situation (Jennifer Hudson's fam. anyone) then we are attracted to thugs, and deserve what we got. Basically, it's completely apparent that we need to just do us, and leave the damaged alone. The sad truth is I am convinced we cannot help bm. They are going to have to help themselves. Regardless of his problems, and regardless of how bad we feel for him, he will have to make his own way in this world. BM are not babies in need of coddling. The truth of the matter is that you cannot love all a man's hurt away. He is going to have to get his own self together. All you can do is love YOU enough to steer clear when you find that he is damaged. For many men, no matter what you do, it's going to be used against you. If you try to help them, you are impeding his man hood. If you let him find his own way, you are not being a strong sista etc. Why do bm think if they have a job,they are automatically in the good man category, and every bw should be falling at his feet, like he's a king? The following excerpts illustrate my point. Notice these men are ANGRY because these sista's wanted more out of life than they had to offer. I only printed the printable ones, the others became more and more angry, profane, and erratic, so I deleted them.....


Nothing irks me more these days than bourgie black women. You know the type: nice job in some high respect industry (doctor, lawyer, etc.), usually have more than one degree, own property, keep themselves in good shape and dressed to the hilt, well manicured, etc. Essentially, the women Tyler Perry writes about.These chicks are worse than snotty white women (who we've been conditioned to believe were off limits anyway, so don't phase us as much).My brother was on the Fox movie lot recently and ran into an old classmate from UCLA. She's a hot-shot entertainment attorney now. He was there to meet with the producers of a movie that's being made into a video game by the company he works with. When they went to UCLA together, they both worked in parking services, giving out passes and directions to people who would come to the campus.Anyway, according to him she tried to act all high level and like "what are you doing here?" Mind you, this girl originally hails from Compton! He's like "I'm here to meet the producers from (blank)" He said she acted stunned, like she couldn't believe he was actually there for something that cool.My brother is married with kids, got a nice house -- he doesn't have a lot of hang ups, so I know he wasn't reading into it.As he told me the story we were both struck by the irony of how things have changed. In the 60s, a black woman stood by her man and even supported him. But I guess one too many of us married white girls. Now when they make it they treat us with contempt.
"You can always tell someone's character by how they treat those they don't need to treat well." Owen Davian (played by Philip Seymour Hoffman)

Re: Bourgie Black Women - There is no breed more despicable
Yeah I hate that condescending tone. She forgot where she came from. That goes to show every sista ain't a sista. Offline

Re: Bourgie Black Women - There is no breed more despicable
Black women are the only women who want to be independent from their man. They aint playing no Robin to our Batman. Its ok to shine too but damn Scottie its Jordan's team.
Offline

Re: Bourgie Black Women - There is no breed more despicable
Despicable is a harsh word but I see what you mean. The types that think they know everything. If they are all so smart- why are they all single? Sure it has something to do with the men, but it also has to do with their lack of true character. Game recognizes game. They work hard to get the superficial on point and never work enough on the inside to recognize internal quality that would compliment their lives. If you're doing what you gotta do to get it together, a woman like that wouldn't help you in the long run.Why even get mad about it? All that arrogance comes from pride and pride comes from gaping insecurities.


Ladies, don't listen to this nonsense. This is nothing but anger and jealously masquerading as concern, and racial chicanery. For those sistas who are doing their thing, keep on doing it. They are going to talk about you regardless! Know this. I think their insecurity is showing because more and more of us are stepping out of the box, and living to the fullest. Don't ever dumb down to capitulate to someone else's insecurities. Their issues are theirs to deal with and not yours. Bottom line, instead of accusing bw of being wanting too much, bm need to ask themselves why don't they want more......

Thank y'all for tuning in -see you next post
New Story!!!
CLICK LINK BELOW TO READ NEW IR STORY!!!

65 comments:

lola said...

Stacey left the sinking titanic. It seemed to me that she was one of those exploited lost girls, it took a non-bm to recognize her worth. If it wasn't for this site I would have never known she got married, but I'm glad she finally found love.

"You can always tell someone's character by how they treat those they don't need to treat well." Owen Davian (played by Philip Seymour Hoffman)

It's ironic that he used that quote, because BW never NEEDED to treat BM well, in fact we never NEEDED to go through all we went through for a group of ppl that gave no reciprocity. So yes, you can TELL BW's character by how they treated those they NEVER needed to treat well.

Divalocity said...

I read this post about two months ago and read almost every statement that was written. I did so because I wanted to get an idea of the mindset of individuals who wrote this.

These men who commented called women, whores and any other derogatory name that they could think of, they even felt that they could make BW jealous by dating WW, go figure?

The perception that I got from these comments were that they had been rejected by successful BW and could not deal with it. I also found them to be the average disrespectful BM(DBR).

Here is my comment that I responded with: LEAD, FOLLOW, PROVIDE, PRODUCE OR GET THE HELL OUT OF THE WAY! Every other race of man has this figured out. Why haven't you? Birds Chirping... we are waiting for them to take the helm since so many of them claim to be kings. VICTIM HOOD HAS NO PLACE IN SOCIETY. AND SINCE BW ARE DOING SO BAD AND ARE THE SO CALLED CULPRITS FOR THE DEMISE OF THE BC, THEN WHAT DO YOU AND YOUR ILK PROPOSE TO DO ABOUT IT? ABOSOLUTELY NOTHING BUT LIP SERVICE AND NO ACTION. IF IT WASN'T FOR THE 60% WEALTH OF BW AS YOU SAY, THE BC WOULD HAVE VAPORIZED YEARS AGO. SHE IS WHAT IS HOLDING IT TOGETHER.

They don't seem to understand why a lot of BW are single, Duh! They are single by choice because they refuse to continue to put up with the BS. No woman in her right mind would continue to go through the unnesscary stress. It does not take a rocket scientist to figure this out. A majority of BM and some BW are confused about a lot of things.

When we are married to men where we don't have to work we are considered as Gold Diggers.

We are suppose to not live a luxe life, we should be working from sun up to sun down and never desire to live above the norm.

BW are the lowest of the low and should step aside and let the BM lead.

As I said earlier, Lead, Follow, Produce, Provide Or Get The Hell Out Of My Way. If Who, When?

Beautifully.Conjured.Up said...

Honestly, I laugh at statements like these because it's nothing but pure jealousy. On the other hand, its sad because only Blacks say these things...not Whites. If a White person attains higher levels of education, a great job, etc., they are considered to be normal; if a Black does it, especially a woman, there is name calling.

That's why I have a hard time dating Black men, for when they find out about my edcuation, job, etc., they say I think I'm better than them or whatever else. The last one, I had to drop him quick, for he believed Black women were taking everything from the Black man...yea, he was highly ignorant and a waste of my time.

Yes I'm bourgie, for the actual meaning is middle class, and that's where I came from. Now in response to the attempted negative stereotype that is attached to the word, I simply explain that I don't settle, I select...if you're not part of my selection, then consider it a favor b/c we're not meant to be and I'm saving you the stress.

Anonymous said...

I think it has a lot to do perception. A lot of Black men feel if the see a single attractive Black women, that there is possiblity a chance to get with them. They never even consider the fact that whether they are in the same income bracket, educational background and financial stabilty. These aspects never even cross their mind...cause you all know you want them!! I am serious!! A good friend of mine and I attended a church service together. I was having an Obama tea fundraiser at my home where 2 senators attended(on that saturday). She is a family medicine physician from South Carolina and I am a dental surgeon. So..that sunday we got up and went to church...in which the pastor of this church knew we were coming and ask us to stand up and be recognized. After services, the lead musician on the organ wanted to talk to me about coming to my practice for some needed dental treatment. The first thing he says. "can you hook a brother up". Hmph! Well, just call the receptionist because I don't know the prices...but I charge the same as any other Doctor in town. Then he calls my friend over to talk to her... I calmly make the rounds in the church and after about 10 minutes, my friend comes over and says lets go. Out in the parking lot, she tells me about the conversation...which leads up to a pathetic pick up line. She says..."now why in the world would this man..with no teeth in his mouth...no viable income, staying with his sister, got medical health problems..possibly think that I would ever want to go out with him" I explain that Black men are like that...you can be the most educated, beautiful sista in the world with so much to bring to the table and they can have absolutely nothing and they think in their minds of minds that they have a chance with you and will even attempt the ole college try. Then call you an uppity B if you show no interest. This is why I date MEN who are on my level that I have something in common with and if they all happen to be white..then brotha get on your job...because we are leaving your azz behind. I consider myself a well education, well versed, well traveled Black socialite Doctor with high values and expectations and I am not settling. I love your blog!!

Anonymous said...

I hate your blog! You advise women to abandon black men and that's wrong! That's whats wrong with black people now! You have no pity for black men having to deal with racism, losing their jobs to vicious white men and being constantly locked up even when they are innocent! You are cold hearted and evil! Black men deserve women who stand behind them no matter what! If they don't have us, what do they have? I have 5 brothers and 2 sisters and the only ones doing well in the whole family are the 2 sisters. They have good jobs because they are willing to sell out! They both married white and moved to the suburbs so their kids could pretend they were not black! That's bullshit! They are still black! The kids talk good english and go to white schools and my little neice told me(as she brushed back long brown hair) that she was going to marry a handsome white man just like her daddy! what kind of shit is that? She, like you won't even give brothers a chance! 4 of my 5 brothers are in jail and the last one can never keep a job!He's been forced to sell drugs because whites won't hire him! He's a good man, but it's women like you telling black women to forget black men that has many women turning their backs on black men. You should be ashamed of yourself! I don't think you realize how deadly this message is! My brothers are suffering because of a no good sell out tramp like you Sarah! -I don't care if you wont' post anything else from me, I had to speak my mind! You and Evia are no damn good!!

Phantom Mare said...

My brothers are suffering because of a no good sell out tramp like you Sarah! -I don't care if you wont' post anything else from me, I had to speak my mind! You and Evia are no damn good!!
_____________

BM evidently think you're no good either. Do they fight for you the way you fight for them?
Some BW never grow beyond knee height because they always on their knees pleading for the BM, when they (BM)should be acting for themselves. Typical Mules!

"No Drama Mama" said...

Great post! I totally agree with you. Life is short and we black females have done the "stand by your black man" ish long enough. It's about happiness and fullfillment in this life. I am really not that much into white males but I love me some Asians!

Whomever we black women choose, it's OUR decision for OUR lives. If he's white, Asian, Latin, whatever:GO FOR IT, Sistahs! Nice site and beautiful pics.

shocol said...

anonymous said...
I hate your blog! You advise women to abandon black men and that's wrong! That's whats wrong with black people now! You have no pity for black men having to deal with racism, losing their jobs to vicious white men and being constantly locked up even when they are innocent! You are cold hearted and evil! Black men deserve women who stand behind them no matter what! If they don't have us, what do they have? I have 5 brothers and 2 sisters and the only ones doing well in the whole family are the 2 sisters. They have good jobs because they are willing to sell out! They both married white and moved to the suburbs so their kids could pretend they were not black! That's bullshit! They are still black! The kids talk good english and go to white schools and my little neice told me(as she brushed back long brown hair) that she was going to marry a handsome white man just like her daddy! what kind of shit is that? She, like you won't even give brothers a chance! 4 of my 5 brothers are in jail and the last one can never keep a job!He's been forced to sell drugs because whites won't hire him! He's a good man, but it's women like you telling black women to forget black men that has many women turning their backs on black men. You should be ashamed of yourself! I don't think you realize how deadly this message is! My brothers are suffering because of a no good sell out tramp like you Sarah! -I don't care if you wont' post anything else from me, I had to speak my mind! You and Evia are no damn good!!

________________________________

Let's see now, by your own admission...

Your sisters have...

good jobs
husbands
safe living conditions
children who can speak standard English well and think enough of their fathers to want to marry a man just like him

Your brothers are...

chronically unemployed
in and out of jail
drug dealers

And how is your post supposed to make BW want to live you and your brothers lifestyle?

I really hope this is just troll bait and you're trying to punk Sara's readers. If this is real, I pity you. You just don't know how backwards you are.

energize said...

I guess I'm showing my age here, but Patty says it better than I can.

That strut at the the end of the video speaks volumes.

"New Attitude"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iuP87yhbw4

Clarice said...

Excellent post! Clearly the truth hurts and anon is in rare raging form. The only thing thinking women can do it take care of themselves. It is not normal to self destruct. It is not so much taking the high road as it is figuring out where energy and emotional resources and reserves are better spent. We are on this earth only for so long and have only so much time, and energy to use. Successful people use that energy and those resources wisely to create more and to create opportunities and be happy and healthy. It is not about what other people do - it is about what is effective and furthers the individual and collective interests of BW and doing what works to move forward in health, peace and prosperity. Holding onto anger takes energy and exacts a toll on the body. It takes far more energy to hold on to anger and act out in anger - than to vent effectively and then pursue a course of action that acheives effective results. It's not possible to change or control other peoples actions, trying to do this is hard work - it is more cost effective to use that energy to move toward a goal that matters. The end result of this type of action is achieving the goal and frustrating those that seek to limit and otherwise control the lives of BW. It is not about making peace - it is about making forward progress in meaningful ways. Be true to the truth of what it means to be BW on indivdual terms and live that truth consistently by walking the walking the walk inspite of the talk and actions of others and refuse to yeild and the world has no choice but to change. Do what works for your own interests - spend your energy wisely. Control what you do and the world has no choice but to change. The angry DBR name calling men/women are scared because change is happening and they are not part of it, can't stop it and can't cope and are not willing to do the work it takes to make it happen - so they have made their choice. The choices they have made have consequences and their is nothing anyone else can do to spare them those consequences - the ship has sailed and they are at the point of no return.

Michelle and Barak Obama in this campaign and his actions and her actions, regardless as to whether you agree or not with his platform and message, are an example of that. He has been called elitist - bougie, a sell out etc. He remained true to his vision of the world and himself and his place in it, in the face of, opposition, and the virulent racist attacks and death threats and after two years he is within striking distance of his goals. Bw are learning to do this and doing it more effectively.

V/r

Clarice

Taylor-Sara said...

Anon. sorry you feel that way. I guess we won't see you here anymore, but whatever....It's too bad bm won't fight for us the way some of you women fight for them. But I guess reciprocity is a highly desired gift and not a requirement. But I'm certainly glad your sisters are making their own decisions and not listening to you. Or waiting on a good bm, but they are few and far between. Good luck waiting on your IBM, you are going to need it.....

Gloryus said...

To Anon @ 1246:
*sighs* All I can say is 'such is life'. Your sisters are doing well because they strived to do well and are lucky. So what if they married white men and moved to the suburbs? Most women move in to their husbands houses upon marriage anyway. They haev good jobs because they more than likely took their education seriously and knew it would come in handy. Their kids aren't black in the first place, so there's no need for them to pretend they aren't black, as you claim. I understand you're bitter and angry (OBVIOUSLY), but I dont know any SANE woman who would want to stick with a man who's constantly in and out of jail or selling drugs.

Your comment:
"My brothers are suffering because of a no good sell out tramp like you Sarah! -I don't care if you wont' post anything else from me, I had to speak my mind! You and Evia are no damn good!!"
...... made me shake my head in pity, seriously. Sellout tramps? Sellout to what exactly? Selling out to jailbirds, druggies and felons? I hope the single black women sell out in thousands!!!! lol. Truth be told, your brothers are suffering because THEY chose the path of crime. That has nothing to do with blogs that encourage single black women to broaden their dating options to include men of other races. I STRONGLY ENCOURAGE women to date on their level or above, regardless of race. Never below. So yeah... keep wallowing in your bitterness and the single black women who visit this blog will keep broadening their options and looking for the best out there.

Toodles!

Taylor-Sara said...

And I'm wondering myself Energize if she is serious or just being facecious (sp?) Her brother FORCED to sell drug!!! WTH! No one is forced to sell drugs! This must be some kind of joke. I just can't take her seriously....Plus, she wouldn't even give a name. When you really beleive what you say, seems like you should stand behind it....

kay said...

You are so right Clarice. That was spot on. And Sara, I think that was someone's idea of a joke too. I cannot beleive anyone would think their sisters could succeed, yet their brothers were forced to commit crimes to support themselves. I think you should stop taking Anon posts. They always come to start mess! Just like the one the other day where the Anon accused you of kissing ww's butts because you said all ww were not mean/hateful to their black daughters. You cannot win with some ppl. and you just have to let them be.... or delete them.

nancy said...

i would ignore the anon. don't let that person derail the topic.

Taylor-Sara said...

thats good advice Nancy. But I do want to warn you ladies to be very careful. Some of these predators have paper thin egos, and go off about the least little thing. Recently around where my Aunt lives, a young woman was choked and nearly died because a man called her beautiful, and she did not respond. He waited 2 hours for her to emerge from the club and then attacked her! He told his friends she thought she was too good for a brotha and that's why he had to show her what time it was! Ladies, these fools are often dangerous-PLEASE be careful....

Phantom Mare said...

Sara..He told his friends she thought she was too good for a brotha and that's why he had to show her what time it was! Ladies, these fools are often dangerous-PLEASE be careful....
____________

Ya know Sara, I think that is what it is coming to. They would rather see a DEAD sista than her to be with a WM or non-BM.

ieishah said...

the longest relationships i've had with black men (outside my beautiful dad and brother, and o, who is a shining star and such a supportive friend) have been with the men who twist my dreads. when it comes to my hair, black men are the best. hands down. in the salon in south jamaica, queens where i used to go, those dudes really hooked me up. i've lived the last 8 years on and off in europe, and every time i'm here, i lament that there are no 'brothers' here to lay hands on my head.

sometimes i sit and dream about g _ or m_, lovingly massaging my scalp, or expertly palm rolling my locs and i miss them terribly.

but then i also always remember the silent censure i'd receive just for living my life, my way.

it was the year 2000 when one of them realized just who he was dealing with. don't know what is said to tip him off, but all of a sudden he was like, 'sooooo, you date caucasians?' i must have stopped laughing long enough to say, 'well, yeah', but i don't remember. i just remember it being really funny. seriously? caucasians??

or how about 5 years later, in m's chair, i broke the news i was moving to belgium in a few weeks. first he asked if i wanted to use his cheap flight website scheme to buy my tickets. i told him my ticket had already been bought. then he got curious. 'so why belgium? you going out there to work', he asked. i'm like, 'uh, no. i'm going to live with my boyfriend'.

crickets.

after like, 5 minutes, 'where's he from?'

i answer, 'belgium. hence the move.'

crickets.

and the beautiful hand to head relationship we'd shared was over. oh, i can only imagine what he was thinking. whatever. hair looked tight, though.

sky said...

"The sad truth is I am convinced we cannot help bm. They are going to have to help themselves."

i wish every black women understood this. this statement alone makes me free. the only person you can help is yourself. if you can't even do that, you have no reason to complain.

whoever that annon. is a complete idiot. what's wrong w/ living the good life? i mean come on, in one hand you have heaven, the other hand you have hell, i believe the sisters(if this story is even true) picked the best decision, heaven. the brothers obviously choose hell. and from the looks of it they don't seem to have a problem. i have yet to hear this annon's side of the story whether she's living the good life, or baby-sitting or being a bank to these black men with a cheerful grin.

hmm oh well.

Anonymous said...

anonymous said...
I have 5 brothers and 2 sisters and the only ones doing well in the whole family are the 2 sisters. They have good jobs because they are willing to sell out! They both married white and moved to the suburbs so their kids could pretend they were not black! That's bullshit! They are still black! The kids talk good english and go to white schools and my little neice told me...that she was going to marry a handsome white man just like her daddy!

--------

Sounds like jealousy to me. Guess they didn't want to be bitter, angry and lonely like yourself. God forbid they actually had the audacity to want better for themselves! I mean what normal human being could ever want that! The world must be crazy...




hint...it's just you.

TC said...

Successful anon, what you said is so true! These crazy looking dbrbm want to "hook up," and my thought is, "Can you try hookin' up with soap and some toothpaste?" It's only us BW who deal with this crap. There was a WM who tried to pull one of those lines on my WF co-worker---they kicked him out. In fact, it'll be 5 more months before he can come near us again, and it's a public building!

Sarah, along with you, I'm tired of people talking about BW "selling out." What the heck are we selling? Last time I checked, craziness is not a highly sought after commodity. Since when is acting like a human being, showering on a daily basis, dressing without sagging, naming our kids normal names, speaking intelligently, etc. constitute selling out? I thought front teeth came along with being a human being, not with being white.

Taylor-Sara said...

TC, that was sooo funny! front teeth comes with being human! And hooking him up with soap and toothpaste! Girl, you are too funny! thanks, I needed that laugh...

EmergingPhoenix said...

I would like to start off by giving a HUGE FU to Bill Maher. Great show last night, his guests are always entertaining (the only news commentary I can stomach after hours). But if I want to voice that I am tired of this race and want to see it draw to a close, I will damn well do it. Dont dictate to me how to conduct myself.

OK, now on to the post. I actually read this awhile back, and was too lazy to try to even respond to these fools. Someone forgot to inform these males, ha, that bw are not at their disposal. And I mean disposal, b/c that seems to be the extent of their needs. I mean the audacity of one of us "hoes" to think our education, accomplishment, blood, sweat and tears, MAKE SOMETHING out of us. The audacity of me to think that I am too good for the guy waiting my table...or better yet, bussing my table. How dare, I turn up my nose at RJ, who grew up in MY middle class neighborhood with all of the advantages I had, and ended up a low budget salesman for construction supplies. ;P Seriously, I turn my nose up at the guy that cant operate his iPhone, why in the world would I want something to do with the guy who cant afford one (or has to take out a loan to buy one), LOL. And, oh yes I did just type that. A little full of myself? Maybe? But from what I can gather so are many ppl, who have a lot less to be prideful of. I figure, if the sales clerk at the department store thinks she's got it going on like that, why am I soo humble? Or maybe that's why I continue to move forward while others have to take aptitude tests to figure out why they cant hold down a job.

I mean really. I just had a homeless bm, tell me I think I am too cute today, and it was the most hilarious thing. I thought, 'actually, cute is what I play when I am flirting for my own amusement...no actually, I feel much more than just cute', LOL. He even went into a tirade about me being a bitch, of what I caught before heading on to my girlie day of shopping, lalala. Before, I would have felt sorry for that man, but now I just feel grateful for the ability TO FEEL ABSOLUTELY DISCONNECTED from that poor man. The best thing is also feeling absolutely disconnected from anyone (black, white or other), who I dont find impressive in anyway. And although, I feel that the ppl described above are not impressive, I dont make it a point to shove that in their face. I just smile and keep going, b/c at the end of the day their circumstances are not my problem, why kick a dog while it's down...unless you're a dog yourself. We've all got insecurities, but the only ones with gaping insecurities are ppl like the men who espouse the nonsense in this post, and the women who feel the need to yield to them.

Anonymous said...

I hate your blog!

LOL Yet you can't stop reading it.

You advise women to abandon black men and that's wrong!

All smart black women AND women period should abandon damaged beyond repair black men in DROVES. And if DBR's are your typical black man, so be it.

That's whats wrong with black people now! You have no pity for black men having to deal with racism, losing their jobs to vicious white men and being constantly locked up even when they are innocent! You are cold hearted and evil!

YOU need to get a grip. Black women are INDIVIDUALS and it's not a smart black woman's concern what happens to black male adults. None of it is our problem. Comprende?

Black men deserve women who stand behind them no matter what! If they don't have us, what do they have?

Now you should just listen to yourself mammy!LOL That is the biggest piece of BS I've ever heard. That's what got Jennifer Hudsons family MASSACRED dumb a**. Standing behind an animal.SMH

I have 5 brothers and 2 sisters and the only ones doing well in the whole family are the 2 sisters.

Well surprise suprise.LOL

They have good jobs because they are willing to sell out!

They have good jobs because they've got good BRAINS. And are not constantly b*tching and complaining like the "brothas".

They both married white and moved to the suburbs so their kids could pretend they were not black! That's bullshit! They are still black! The kids talk good english and go to white schools and my little niece told me(as she brushed back long brown hair) that she was going to marry a handsome white man just like her daddy! what kind of shit is that?

LOL That is some GOOD stuff right there! Her mama and daddy are having a POSITIVE influence on her. And for the record, those children are BIRACIAL. Deal with it hun.

She, like you won't even give brothers a chance! 4 of my 5 brothers are in jail and the last one can never keep a job!He's been forced to sell drugs because whites won't hire him! He's a good man, but it's women like you telling black women to forget black men that has many women turning their backs on black men.

LOL You are A RIOT.

You should be ashamed of yourself! I don't think you realize how deadly this message is! My brothers are suffering because of a no good sell out tramp like you Sarah! -I don't care if you wont' post anything else from me, I had to speak my mind! You and Evia are no damn good!!

The ONLY one who should be ashamed dear is YOU.

But THANK you for sharing this GOOD news about your SMART sisters.

And your lucky biracial nieces and nephews.

Cheers!

Anonymous said...

I have been reading your blog for a while and I agree 100%. I have an issue that makes me see red. I was listening to Russ Parr (I don't know if you get this station, but it is a hip-hop program that comes on in the morning), I do not ususally listen to it, but they were talking about Jennifer Hudson's tragedy. What mad me angry is that they were talking about thugs - Jennifer's brother-in-law, they were saying it was up to women to not accept thug behavior and then thugs will turn around. I was highly offended because I am NO ONE's mother, why should a woman instruct a man how to act? Other races of men try to act the *thug* but they know when to turn that stupid mess off. If I see one more young black guy with his pants below his behind I will scream. Women have NOTHING to do with the choices they MAKE. I am so tired of black people saying black women only want thugs so they act like thugs. Are black men that brainless they cannot think for themselves. They get that dumb *thug* attitude from jail, they are in contact more with men than women in jail. These dummies do these things for other guys I believe. Because if they did it for women there would not be so many female headed households and fatherless children. I am just so tired of black women having to be mothers to grown men. Black women have been "taking care of grown men too long". What woman in their right mind wants a man who has nothing to offer but "swagger"?

Anonymous said...

kurt angle just admited that he is single and looking,and that he's into bw ,he's trying to date Robin who's on the show [Howard Stern].
He's a wrestler google him.

Sarah I like agree with most of what you and your ilk say ,but being bougie isn't a bad thing,just means middle class values morals as oppose to the sh*t going on now in the bc .I just think the word got a bad name in the 60's.

Please comment on this posting I found on a non racial site here's the link

http://www.boxingscene.com/forums/showthread.php?t=172573&page=9

here's the posting I found interesting I believe he's nonblack

Originally Posted by kayjay
Black women prefer white men because it validates them. Most white men won't notice a black woman, so when we do it gives them a thousand times more respect than a black men can ever cause them to have.

White women who are ugly or fat prefer black men because white men will never validate a fat woman. Most blacks have little discrimination.


Black men prefer white women, but don't know how to distinguish quality.


In general black men don't know how to be picky, which is what hurts them.


The other thing is don't forget to vote!! This is a checklist you should follow ,taking my mom so I'm bringing a folding chair ,book ,ipod ,water or drink ,snacks fuits,if you can [have the time]let others who are in a hurry butt you, especially those who want change.

Obama voters, vote tomorrow on the 4th ,McCain supporters vote Wednesday the 5th Bougie

Velvet Queen said...

"Recently around where my Aunt lives, a young woman was choked and nearly died because a man called her beautiful, and she did not respond. He waited 2 hours for her to emerge from the club and then attacked her! He told his friends she thought she was too good for a brotha and that's why he had to show her what time it was! Ladies, these fools are often dangerous-PLEASE be careful...."

He waited two full hours just to choke her because she didnt respond to him calling her beautiful?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

He told his friends she thought she was too good for a brotha and that's why he had to show her a lesson?!??!?!?!!??!?!?!?!!!!!!

That's practically demonic!!!!!!!

What is this coming too? Sometimes I wonder how these ways of thinking even got started!

Why doesn't Fox/CNN and whatever other major news media report these events?! People have got to know the truth about what's going on!!!!!


IT IS THAT BIG OF A DEAL!!!

Taylor-Sara said...

Bougie, I will not comment on that racist rant, because he is beneath me! I never understand why you do that, but I can tell you that, that is why some of these women don't trust you. You always hunt for garbage, and bring it here! What is the point of that? I believe delish, and others have asked you on more than 1 occasion to stop. It's quite telling that you choose to ignore those requests...

Anonymous said...

well sara since you said it, I will ,didn't know that you felt that way , ,but i have saved all your other postings and some have been very vicious in regards to black woman I remember the really ugly remarks you posted by a ww who said some of the ugliest nasiest comments about bw and I liked the way you took them apart and analyzed them,as well as ugly commments from bm, I Like And Respected your Opinion And like hearing your take on things. I didn't believe the poster on that site was being racist in the classical sense just stating what he thought, this is a nonracial website and I have heard people echo what he said, even on this site, one of the classics was a bm would f a polar bear cause it's white,sorry if it offended you ,I really don't pay Delish any attention nothing against her, just know that she's biased ...again very sorry wish you would have let me know that it offended you,since it's your site and your ...Ive never gotten offend by the anti bm rants because I know most of it is true in the general sense and see it in my own family....bougie

EmergingPhoenix said...

I forgot to add that those ignorant fools know that ww of a certain caliber are out of their league, but yet feel that bw on that level are not. I mean the slave mentality is plain as day. "Don’t let massa catch u lookin at dat der ww." I mean really, that was what really bothered me about those fools and provoked me to want to even comment. Glaring stupidity (and irritionality) just stuns me into action.

As for the racist rant that bougie posted, I have to agree with Sara and others. Sometimes I sympathize with you b/c you say that u r just trying to help young girls u know. But why do you bring that here to again lay a burden on us that is unfair. It almost seems like u are underhandedly trying to remind us of our place. The rant is nonsense. BM can and do validate or denigrate bw. Ugly, incompetent, or low class wm who hit on me, absolutely make me embarrassed and do nothing for my social image. I get noticed by wm all the time, and if someone is ignoring me...well, I wouldn't notice, and they do me a favor, b/c that's one less weak and ignorant person I have to deal with. Men act like they are the "bees knees". Please!! Most of them are not as attractive as they would like to think, and they dont even realize how much benefit women give them in order to get to the finish line. A man that pompous is not someone I would want to associate with on any level. I just had two of my movers try and hit on me when they got me alone; 1 Latino and 1 White. I let them down easy, by just ignoring their advances or toning it down with conversation about something more mundane. I do the same with all men who I dont want to associate with.

Taylor-Sara said...

bougie, I understand what you are saying, and I am not trying to attack you in any way. But I don't think you realize that no matter what we are talking about (whether we are on the subject or not) you will interject with a disparaging remark about bw that you want us to go investigate. Once again, I have to say I don't understand that thought process. Although, I respect your opinion, it just does not sit well with me(and apparently with others) It causes me to question your motives, and wonder if you are secretly trying to lascerate our self esteem, to be perfectly honest. I admit that I have a bit of trouble trusting bm, so maybe I am reading too much into it. So if I am wrong, ladies, do me a favor and say so. But Something about you constantly throwing out disparagemnts re: bw just does not feel right to me. But like I said, It could just be that I'm biased and untrusting, so I will listen to what the others say.... (Ladies, please speak freely)

Anonymous said...

@ sara, I try not to comment on Bougie since you seem to like him being here. But, since you asked, I think Bougie is obsessed with your web site.
He plays up to you in order to stay here. Every now and then he will sneak in a negative comment in about bw...which should have gotten him baned months ago.
In addition, I believe he wrote some of those anonymous negative comments.
Bougie is a distraction and a waste of time.

Ann

Anonymous said...

Sara, it is not you it is Bougie trying to start something.

lol

Sandra77 said...

Sara, I think you give Bougie too much credence and cut him too much slack. I believe he knows exactly what he's doing and does it purposely for that effect. This has been pointed out to him too many times for him to fake innocence with any plausible deniability. IMO, he is trying to undermine you, your message, and the self-confidence of your readership. This is your site, so the ultimate decision on how to handle Bougie is yours. But if this were my site I would lay down the law with Bougie and if he came back with these same kinds of postings, I would remove his comments and even consider banning him.

TC said...

Velvet Queen, BW aren't mentioned in the mainstream news; but we're not mentioned in the BC news, either. There's enough empty airtime on BET, TV One, and Black Stars to do a weekly show on missing BW or children. Essence and Ebony could write off a page monthly and feature 6-8 color pictures of them. We just need to start asking them to do it or we'll take our subscription money elsewhere.

Oh, and for any males wishing to lay their problems on BW, please submit the following:

*your high school GPA, excluding PE
*SAT scores
*ACT scores
*college GPA
*GRE scores/other grad school tests
*grad school GPA

If you have none of the proceding, please supply:

*distance in inches between your waist and your waistband
*number of non-grill-covered teeth
*number of visible tattoos---facial count as 5
*times per day you say the "special" n-word, "Keepin' it real," "don't be hatin'"
*number of times per week you beg for a ride, money, a smoke, a drink, a little "something"
*number of jail "visits
*number of kids and baby mommas

Really, if we're going to get blamed for something, we need more information to work with.

Andrew said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Phantom Mare said...

Sara said... It causes me to question your motives, and wonder if you are secretly trying to lascerate our self esteem, to be perfectly honest. I admit that I have a bit of trouble trusting bm, so maybe I am reading too much into it. So if I am wrong, ladies, do me a favor and say so.
_____________

No you are not wrong. I also can not trust BM because of my experiences. My trust has been busted several times by them. Sort of like in the "catch me" game when you lean back and they don't catch you. When that happens I don't go that route again.

I agree with your post.

Taylor-Sara said...

Mr. L. I removed your garbage before anyone had a chance to read it so you wasted your time writing such a copious pile of excretement. Nobody here is interested in what you say, so slime your way back to your own blog, and stay there.

Bougie, the women have spoken and you can no longer claim ignorance in regard to your comments. Either stop bringing the garbage here, or you'll be just like Mr L. deleted before you hit the door. No more long winded rationalizations for why you made such and such a comment, we are asking you to STOP right now, or leave, simple as that....

Taylor-Sara said...

Dear Andrew, if you stop reading every word we write, you won't feel the need to reply again and again, and I won't have to keep deleting! Go away-and leave us alone. It's really twisted for you to be here trying to tell us how to think. I know you don't do that to your 'brothers' so think you're going to do it to us. We don't give a rat's ass what you think....

EmergingPhoenix said...

I see the decision has been made, but I'll put my 2cents in anyway. I am not sure one way or the other if bougie has poor intentions, but it does seem fishy. What I am sure of, is this is not the place for his posts. Why doesnt he take this over to WAOD, where their mission is to uplift and protect bw. I am sure they would love to give him advice. I thought the mission of this site was promoting bw finding love in quality men, not help a bm save the young black girls around him. When he posts something in regards to the post or even in regards to the mission of the blog, I will consider what he's selling.

Andrew said...

Dear Sara

With all due respect, why are you so fearful of opinions by black men? It is not like I just come after you for no reason. You go out of your way to bash black men and then expect black men not to defend themselves.

I was responding to one of you followers on your blog. If you have a topic I think is worth responding to. Than I must respond to it.

I haven't responded on your blog in weeks.

Clearly you censor me for a reason. That bougie commentary is such crap I had to respond.

Sincerely

Andrew

By the way I am happy with own blog. You provide me with a lot of information to respond too.

lola said...

BOUGIE IS A FREAKING SH*T STARTER!!! This is nothing but a troll. EVERYTIME he comes and brings something negative and degrading about BW to the conversation, this is no accident. Sara you're not being paranoid, he's a foe passing for a "friend". He's never been for our freedom and empowerment.

Taylor-Sara said...

Andrew, that's crap and you know it. You would not even SEE it if you were not here LOOKING TO SEE IT!! That's my point. There is no reason for you to be here. This is a bw's blog! I never see what you print, because I do not go there-get it! And you would not feel the need to respond if you were not here! There won't be anything of interest for you on this blog, because we are not even You speak of responding. There is nothing for you to respond to, because no one was intending to engage you in conversation! I am totally and unapologetically concerned with the betterment, happiness, and welfare of Black Women!!! Just like you all have done for ages. I am completely engaged in the amelioration of bw to the exclusion of BM. IOWs, I am interested Our financial problems, Our family problems, Our child problems, social, political, etc. I don't care who does not like it. I am not concerned about the BM's problems-except in the context that they affect us! So in the words I've heard you all use to numerous sista's -get over it!

Delishmish said...

"Mr Bougie" said:

I really don't pay Delish any attention nothing against her,

.................

I say:

Dear Mr Bougie,

Only my cyber friends have the LUXURY of calling me Delish....and let's be clear here..you and I are NOT cyber friends.

You should pay attention to me, because I am BRILLIANT.

You are quite transparent. You come here to bring us down...to remind all the BW who REFUSE to stay in one place that it is DANGEROUS out there...
Well guess what?.it is more dangerous for YOU in here..because you are clearly NOT our friend....the cyber knives are glistening for you, Mr Bougie....until you come with relevant POSITIVE and proper commentary...

and you pretend to care about BW, ... scarily, you may even think you do, but your words, stories comments and links say OTHERWISE.

I think it would be better for you to 1) take a grammar class and 2) Spend your time bringing atrocious stories that can depress a less strong individual to a site that is geared towards BM...Why don't you do that?

Now..123 POOF!
be gone Mr Bougie, be gone!
And cease and desist from using MY online name in your inane commentary.

Sandra77 said...

Andrew, be a big boy and don't go where you're not wanted. The owner of this blog has spoken to you loud and clear. For you to remain here only proves Sara's point - that you are obsessed with her and her blog.

sky said...

i think we agree that andrew and boogie/whatever his name is should just not have their responses posted on your blog.or any negative annon. if i wanted to read crap, i would go to one of the YT videos and respond. i don't need an example of how trifling or all up in your business these dudes are.

now can we please go back to the topic?

shocol said...

I didn't realize Bougie was a BM. Always thought he was a BW, and this was why Sara gave leeway to the negativity that he posted.

Clarice said...

What is happening is that the women who read and post to this blog are not only recognizing their worth and value, they are investing in themselves and their future, vetting and critically examing the options and demanding reciprocity. They are putting themselves in a position to succeed because they know their value and worth and encouraging others to do likewise and not put their pearls before swine. The 'men' and DBR females who are still drinking the poision punch of 'only a brother or stand by your man no matter how bad he is' and come here trying to steal the joy and happiness of the women here. When your efforts are starting to pick up speed and substance - resistance will appear because people fear and resist chance. Scientifically an object at rest (like these DBR folks resting in the hole they have dug for themselves) tend to stay at rest and resist being moved. The women who are changing their lives for the better are changing the lives of those DBR folks because they no longer have anyone to leech off of. If parasites and that is what they are are deprived of food they die or go find food. These folks are fighting to stay alive in the face of change. They are a constant reminder to never give up, because the changes are working and will keep working. Being 'bougie' is about doing the most with what you have been given and making more based on wise choices. Ignore the negatives, remove yourself from it and it from your life where ever possible and keep striving. Sara thank you for this blog and for keeping eyes focused on the prize.

V/r

Clarice

Golden Silence said...

The men who do this (namecalling, threats, etc.) make me sick. They walk around in baggy clothes, stinking of Black and Milds, can't articulate a sentence to save their lives, but think they have a chance in hell with women like Gabrielle Union and Halle Berry. These men have too high self-esteem and this false sense of entitlement. The men who do this would never say whatever they wanted to women of other races---it's only us. I don't need some no-good Negro trying to put me down because I have something he doesn't---standards.

I cannot remember if I linked this here or not, but there is this great video short called "Black Woman Walking," where Black women talk about being harassed on the streets by Black men. Tracey Rose made it:

Black Woman Walking

Men like the ones these women mention in the video try to put me down daily when I am simply trying to go about my day. I'm usually good at spotting no-good men from a mile away. If a man responds contritely to my rejection, he's a decent man. But if he starts screaming "f*** you, bitch!" and threatening me, then my instincts were right on the money.

I hate how these low-class men assume that just because we share the same race that they can treat us in whatever way they like. I hate how they automatically assume we're their property. If carrying myself with a modicum of class makes me "bougie," so be it.

Anonymous said...

Sara, I do not understand why you kiss up to Bougie and you know he loves it. And, Laurelton the girl from Queens is just as bad.

a.f.

sky said...

annon said..."They both married white and moved to the suburbs so their kids could pretend they were not black! That's bullshit! They are still black! The kids talk good english and go to white schools and my little niece told me(as she brushed back long brown hair) that she was going to marry a handsome white man just like her daddy! what kind of shit is that"

hey annon were the kids smart as this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRWmEmxkGDM

Anonymous said...

Congratulations President Obama!

Ann

Anonymous said...

Because of President Obama so many bm are positioning themselves to move on up...bw do not be left behind.

Ladies it's your time also to position yourselves to move on up. The time is now...if not now...when?

a.f.

Anonymous said...

The new President elect is about to make his first speech.

Michelle and the kids look great.

I am so happy for America...a good change for once in eight years.

a.f.

Golden Silence said...

"And, Laurelton the girl from Queens is just as bad."

Mr. Laurelton Queens is a guy---a horrible, hateful, rotten guy. His blog spews nothing but hatred towards Black women. To him we're all "sellouts," "nappyheaded," etc. His blog is nothing but negativity. Ask him why he feels that way it's all rhetoric and no real answers. No woman in her right mind, regardless of what race she is, would put up with someone bitter like him.

Halima said...

sad story about bw/wm couple apparently killed by four black male 'marines'.

http://www.pe.com/localnews/inland/stories/PE_News_Local_S_dead04.486444d.html

sky said...

annon said..."Because of President Obama so many bm are positioning themselves to move on up...bw do not be left behind."

true! don't jump into the magical thinking.

this morning on my way back to school i tuned into my local station (which i rarely do) to hear people's reaction. a caller called in saying that last night was a great night and a historic moment, he then explained that he was white and (i qoute) "is married to a BEAUTIFUL black woman, and 2 younger daughters". he was very proud of this moment!

Divalocity said...

Annon said..."Because of President Obama so many BM are positioning themselves to move on up...BW do not be left behind."

WHEN?

This is great for kids to do because they need this type of encouragement. Any real man would have done this before Obama came on the scene.

BW have been going forward and leading the way ever since and there is no reason to look back now.

Mold and shape the youngsters who follow and as for the DBR, there is not that much HOPE in the world to change their mind set.

The young men who voted for change and who are trying to make this world a better place are the ones who will benefit from this.

The DBR'S will attempt to ride their coat tails but they will be found out to be total frauds because of their unwillingness to do the work and the victim card can no longer be used because it has been revoked and expired as of November 4, 2008.

Felicity said...

The sad truth about the gentlemen with the 5 brothers and the 2 sisters, God helps those, who help themselves and Men like the 5 brothers are palmerworms and cankerworms who waste your years, you become old and bitter. Life is too short, and he and his brothers have sown seeds and they are getting their just harvests and I am pleased that the sisters are in successful marriages with families.

Selena said...

Hey Sara,

I heard that over 40% of married men think about ex-girlfriends. Roger Ebert's wife kinda favors his "one-that-got-away" don't you think? ;-P

Taylor-Sara said...

I never knew he had dated someone before who looked like his wife, interesting.....

JaliliMaster said...

That anon that posted the comment about her two successful sisters and her 5 triflin' brothers is telling tales. Either she made up that story or she is mentally deranged...or both. Either way, she is a waste of time!

cool_splash1 said...

hey annon were the kids smart as this?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TRWmEmxkGDM

Okay they are so cute!!!

cool_splash1 said...

They both married white and moved to the suburbs so their kids could pretend they were not black! That's bullshit! They are still black! The kids talk good english and go to white schools and my little neice told me(as she brushed back long brown hair) that she was going to marry a handsome white man just like her daddy!

Oh and anon

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4TQH7yeH30&feature=related

Selena said...

@ Sara,

That's Oprah's former sweetheart
:-p