BW- Stop the spoken/unspoken apologies!!!

This is Halle at the Guy's choice awards Kissing the ever revolting Jaime Foxx. The whole display felt like an unspoken apology to bm for loving a wm.... The other pic is Halle with her gorgeous S.O. Gabriel Aubrey

I, for the life of me cannot understand why some bw cannot accept the fact that they have a God-given right to love whomever they want, and that they do not have to apologize to the bc or to anyone else. I'm referring of course to Halle. but I've seen this behavior demonstrated by many sistas. They'll be happily involved with a non-bm and feel the need to hide, or downplay it. This is esp true when there are multiple bm around, or if they feel that they are under watch. This is totally unfair to the man you've committed to, as well as damaging to the relationship. You cannot expect a man to be proud to be with you, while you are demonstrating shame, or embarrassment in being with him. Would you let him get away with that mess??

Let me give my take on the Halle berry fiasco. Here is a very beautiful woman who has been through alot. We all know she was married to a man (Justice ) who just one day up and said, that he no longer wished to be married to her. Then of course we all know her second husband (Bonet) was a gold digger and a womanizer who cheated on her with anything that moved and sued her for an outrageous amount of money during the divorce. She has been in a relationship for the past few years with a white model named Gabriel. They have a little girl, and seem very happy, and much much in love. Finally she seems to have found some stability in her life. So why in the world would she jeopardize it with a stupid stunt like the one at the Guy's award show. For those of you who don't know. When she came up to receive her award she had a very very intimate kiss with Jaime Foxx and allowed him to actually brazenly fondle her rear on national TV???

Here are the words of one reviewer:

Ring The Alarm! Talk about hot, hot, hot. Jaime Foxx and Halle Berry in a lip-lock so hot, I'm sure Jaime is still trying to recover. The two were at the Spike TV's 2009 "Guys Choice Awards" when she received her award, Jaime made his move and let it be known what he thinks of Ms. Berry. I hope her honey-dip Gabriel isn't the jealous type. That kiss was simply delicious to look at. I need a glass of water!

Now I'm not sure if this is a publicity stunt or what. All I know is that this is not the behavior of a woman who is deeply in love with someone else, and that this is not respectful to the man she has committed to. I was utterly shocked to see this display. True she is a grown woman, and she certainly has the prerogative to act in any way she pleases, but this behavior is not prudent, appropriate, or conducive to a good relationship. I actually thought it came off looking desperate, and reeking of insecurity. But I guess it came her what she was desperately seeking. A momentary kinship, and common bond with bp, esp. bm. I absolutely love Halle. She's been my favorite actress for years, but I just thought this stunt was soooo beneath her. It almost felt like she was asking bm for forgiveness for having the temerity to put her own happiness first. Many times I've sensed an apology coming from her. For instance, when she was interviewed not too long ago, the reporter had the audacity to ask her why she was with a wm! She actually answered the question!!! Her responses was along the lines of "I tried brothers- I tried!! I Tried!! (insert nervous laugh) Her uncomfortable response only served to embolden the reported to delve further into her relationship.

See right there, she along with other bw, were being told they had no RIGHT to date/mate and marry white. What gives him the right to ask her that? Nobody needs to justify their relationship, including us. It seems to me when it's bm being interviewed about dating out, the sentiment from the reporters seems to be: Yeah, he likes her better'n yall-so just deal with it! But when it's a bw/non man the sentiment seems to be: How could you allow yourself to be defiled by a wm- and you better give a good damn answer -or your sister card will be revoked! I never allow anyone whether they approve or not to make me ashamed of my choice. I have a right to my own happiness. We all do. And Halle needs to understand that she does as well. If anything she should have given them an answer that would have really pissed them off. like- "Because he's the best man I've ever had!" or- " What! -he's white-oh my God he tricked me! The point is, she should not have allowed herself to feel guilt over a choice she made in her own best interest. None of us should. The fact is just as bw have to let go of bm (because we don't own them) They will subsequently have to let go of us-because they do not own us either. Ms Berry has no need to prove how black she is, or how down she is, or how much she loves bm. She has nothing to apologize for: And neither do any of you......

When ppl ask about your man, look them in the eye and answer proudly. Hold his hand proudly and walk with your head high and tall. Never fidget nervously or display nervous habits (biting nails, stroking hair, playing with purse straps. etc.) You have nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. You have a right to love whomever you love. If ppl sense an apology from you, they will waste no time trying to inundate you with guilt. That's why it is very important to work any guilt feelings out before you begin to introduce your mate around. Not only will they sense the guilt-embarrassment-apology. But he will as well, and it will often cause internal problems in the relationship (Even if he does not mention it at that time) It will still be there coming between you. So don't allow anyone to make you feel the need to apologize, the only thing

you should be sorry about is putting yourself last, and waiting so long to step out of the box....