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Tuesday, January 13, 2009

When the object of your desire has a racist mom.....

How much influence does a man's mother have on him? And can a relationship work if the man you are interested in has a truly racist mother?

I was watching this show called * Momma's boys* the other day. It's about 3 young men 1 Jewish, and the other one Iranian, and one white. They are supposedly looking for love, and their mother's will have an input as to who they choose. There are 32 young women in the house (living with the mothers) of all ethnicities.

They all watch videos of the mothers, and what these mother's are looking for when it comes to a mate for their respective sons. Two of the mothers seem sweet (of course looks can be deceiving) but one mother in particular basically goes off on a racist rant. Exclaiming loudly to all withing earshot, about how she did not want her son with a black girl, Asian girl, or Jewish girl. (This is the Iranian mother) She basically goes on to say how she does not like Jews, and could not bear to see her son with anything other than a white girl. The most significant part of this is that the girls are all watching and the Asian girl begins to cry. Many of the girls were angry, and when she eventually comes to the house, an argument ensues between her and a black girl, named Vita, who confronts her. Thinking that this may hurt her chances with Jojo, Vita cools down, and later apologizes. But it is to no avail. She is eliminated soon afterwards. Subsequently, Jojo sets his eyes on another black girl in the house named Misty. Like Vita, she is attractive, educated, and outspoken. When Jojo's mother sees Misty about to leave for her date with her son, she explodes. She calls Misty a slut, and tells her to change her clothes, and that she better not put her lips on her son Jojo. Misty, holds her own, and basically tells his mother to kiss off without bothering to hide her irritation or trying to remain civil. She and Jojo have a passionate date int he hot tub which included lots of kissing. They are unaware that his mother is watching from a helicopter above. The point is that when Jojo finds out about the argument with his mother, he summarily dismisses Misty as well, saying he could never be with someone who disrespected his mother. Watching the show made me furious (although it's probably staged) But he never asked Misty what happened. He made no mention of how the mother had disrespected Misty, he only seemed concerned about the fact that Misty had talked back to his mom in a manner consistent with the way his mom had talked to her.

My Take:

I think if anyone was dating a man like Jojo in real life. It would be extremely hard to make the relationship work. She would probably feel like she was walking a tightrope. His mother's opinion of the women in his life seems to weigh heavily on his dating choices, yet he seems extremely unconcerned about his mother's lack of respect, and basic civility for these women. I believe all men should have respect for their mothers. That goes without saying, however, with that being said, he must also have the sense to see when his mother is out of line, and the unmitigated capacity to tell her so. He should be man enough to tell his mother to back off, and not arbitrarily decide that because she is his mother, she is inherently innocent in her remarks. His mother was extremely offensive in many instances, yet he kept pretending not to notice. I would think that regardless the woman's color, she is going to be hard pressed to have a relationship with a man of this caliber. Keep in mind, that he was a very nice young man, but his penchant for letting his mother get a pass on numerous racist comments, in conjunction with his habits of eliminating women who challenged his mother, would make a relationship with him a herculean task. I would definitely tell this girl to run regardless of her ethnicity. Jojo needs a serious wake up call. As does any man who allows his mother to control him, and his choices in women....... What do you all think? Do you think a relationship has a chance when the mother (who is biased, racist, or just hateful) has a unequivocal stronghold on her son?