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Sunday, July 26, 2009

How bw are urged to carry the load, and play the part.....

Couples like the 1st one are almost never shown in the Hw spin machine.
Yet couples like Tiger and the nanny (aka fake model) are shown constantly. This serves 2 purposes. a. convince ww they are still the most beautiful and sought after.
b. To convince bw that they are not!

Lovely Sanaa plays the part of a young woman who falls for and stays with an abysmal loser (Westley) in Disappearing acts..... (parts like these are designed to show bw this is all you deserve-be grateful....)

I was watching a few days ago at the supermarket as a young blk couple approached their car in the parking lot of our local market. (next to us) As they reached the car, the male took the child from the shopping basket, and got into the car. At first I thought he was simply going to place the child into her car seat and then get the groceries. But instead after he had placed the child into the car seat, he got in himself, and proceeded to smoke a cigarette. Me and a friend starred in surprise as the woman was forced to load, what must have been about 300.00 worth of groceries by herself-with a man sitting in the car smoking! She then turned and went to put the cart back. As she came back, she noticed us watching, and her worn young face filled with embarrassment. She knew the situation was unnatural, yet she allowed it to happen. Their car was very old and looked like it had long ago seen better days. As the woman started the car, it creaked, coughed, and groaned to life. The man in the car began to laugh and told her she needed to get rid of this piece of sh*t. The woman sighed, and snappily asked him where she would get the money since she had all the household bills to pay. At this point, he got an uncomfortable look on his face and shrugged. He had lost interest in the conversation. My friend shook her head as we drove away.
"What good is a man, if he can't do anything for you?" she murmured. "I don't know " I answered.
"But I do know I'd slam the door if he ever darkened my doorstep"
My friend was quiet a moment. Then she said sadly:
"Why do we bw always seem to carry all the damn burdens?-he didn't even put the groceries in the car, and now he expects her to find a way to get herself another car all by herself!-what the hell does she need him for???" I shrugged. she's a people watcher who always asks intense questions, but I knew there really was no answer. That woman obviously felt that was the best she could do. She was wrong, of course, but as long as she believes it, -that will be her reality. I thought about it again as I dropped my friend off, and passed another young mother struggling up a hill with 3 sacks of groceries, and no car. Obviously someone was sexing her as she had 3 small children with her. I wondered as I passed, why she would allow a man to leave her with 3 children, who did not have the initiative to even provide her with the most basic of cars..... Basically bw have been sold a false bill of goods that they must take on the man's role, in addition to their own. This is why so many bw will work 2-3 jobs, and still try to take care of numerous children, and play the part of the mule to for many people.....

Disappearing Acts.........
I was further reminded of the whole situation later that night, as I sat down with my family and watched a lifetime movie called Disappearing acts. It starred Westley Snipes and Sanaa Latham.
Basically, the main character, (Sanaa ) falls in love with Westley's character. They date and eventually have a baby. Unfortunately for her, he is a loser who cannot seem to get his act together. (Although it was patently clear that he was expected to get sympathy points for trying.) He had all these dreams, but nothing seemed to pan out. Probably because he puts a very minuscule amount of effort into all his endeavors. Anyway, when she gives birth to the baby, he's once again out of work, so she has to immediately go back to work as a teacher, and is forced to take a very abbreviated maternity leave. She's still suffering the effects of child birth, yet she cannot even stay home to make a full recovery! This causes immense tension between them, as she is very resentful, and unhealed. He pretends not to notice, as he flounders around making very brief efforts to find work. (often claiming it's too cold) He then leaves her to struggle paying all the bills while he lays around her apartment on the couch. She grows more and more frustrated, and angry as he 'forgets' to pick up their son, leaves the house filthy-even though he's there all day, and waits for her to do everything for the baby-in addition to her paying ALL the bills. She cries herself to sleep and basically worries all the time. I believe the final catalyst was her getting another bill she could not pay. They began to argue, and he asks her what she needs him for. She replies that she doesn't know. They stare at each other in shock. Then she goes into the bedroom and lays down quietly. A little while later, he comes in, and looks at her laying there looking beautiful. He immediately whips off his shirt and tries to make love to her. At first she responds and they begin to take off their clothing. But soon it seems as if the resentments overwhelm her, and she pushes him away, and tells him to be gone the next day. The following day, he seems to feel that she's wrong to ask him to leave and begins to bust up all her furniture with a hammer! Now keep in mind, that she has to take care of HIS child all by herself, as well as pay ALL the bills, and now replace all the things he has broken! She comes homes and cries over the damage. Despite this, she misses him (for some reason) and they soon get back together. I guess this is their version of a black woman's Cinderella. In my estimation this movie came much closer to a nightmare, than a fairy tale.

I resented this movie on several counts. First of all, lifetime NEVER makes movies in which ww are expected to settle for broke, down and out, unambitious, go nowhere men. Never is this 'choice' marketed to ww. They are almost always paired to men who have 'something' to offer them and their offspring. Almost never have I seen the ww encouraged to date, mate and marry the loser. And I certainly have never seen on ANY movie, a ww have to go back to work unhealed because a man can't provide-AND HAVE HER KEEP HIM! See they don't want ww to even consider doing anything so stupid-that's why you will never see it in a movie. As far as Sanaa's character goes: Now she gets to carry the baby AND THE MAN! This is no dream relationship, this is a nightmare. Along with bm who try hard to normalize this nightmare, I often notice the media, joining the coalition of bw subjugation at the executive level. They are ginormous culprits in the -use-a-sista-brigade. They seem hell bent on convincing bw that they have 3 functions in this world:

1. The Sapphire. (New York is an exp.) when you see a loud, vulgar, often ghetto acting, Ebonics speaking, flailing, neck twisting caricature on television, this is their version of the Sapphire.
She is there to make ALL bw look like gutter trash, who cannot carry on a civil conversation without resorting to an animistic scream: "Don't make me CUT you!!!"
She is quick to fight, or start arguments especially with precious ww who are innocent and in the wrong place at the wrong time. She is unfit for marriage or any societal union, as she is wild, untamed, and lacking the sense to talk out her issues without resorting to: "cuttin a hoe!"

2. The Jezebel. This bw is the ready slut that movies often use in the background. She has no moral compass, and no human qualities, or any qualities that would endear an average movie goer to her. She is there merely to satisfy the lascivious needs of the men, as well as provide a ready target for white female aggression. She is almost never attractive, and is so pathetic, and un-enticing, only the most scabby abnormal men of any race would find her appealing. This does not mean however, that she is not used by numerous men as a sexual toilet and defiled, and dehumanized on a regular basis. After all, she is barely human-what difference could it possibly make....

3. last but not least is the MAMMY. This is a cinema favorite, and the only role in which a bw is usually given accolades. She is asexual, unattractive, and usually very overweight. But she is also very helpful, knows her place, and 'Yesm's" with a knee jerk response. Like a professionally trained monkey. She loves the family or friend she adores with all her over- sized heart, and fails to realize that she is never really loved in return as much as she is depended upon and needed. She is quite happy go lucky, as her undersized cranium does not allow her to see the stage of derision and inequality upon which, she plays her part. She gets her sense of self worth and kudos from 'pleasin the white folks' and rarely ever thinks of her own needs. After all even she knows she does not count, and is simply there to provide a service. Although she is allowed to pretend she matters which the other two players are not. (Think the fat black maid in Gone with the wind. ) she was a perfect mammy.....

These are the 3 roles, Hollywood is most comfortable with a bw playing. All 3 are soul destroying paradies, and all 3 are extremely unappealing, and do considerable harm to a bw's self image, as well as our collective public image. You see, Hollywood has to do this: Too many wm would express open interest in bw if not for the negative publicity, and open malignment rained down on bw. There is a method to the madness. And that is the keep the bw as unappealing as possible in order to keep the number of IR romances/marriages down, while simultaneously keeping white male dollars in the pockets of deserving ww. And make no mistake about it. If Hw. were not afraid of IR, and the resulting collapse of the ww's pedestal, then they would not need to corroborate these images, and caricatures again and again. This is why so many semi-attractive, older bw are used constantly. While the younger, and far more beautiful bw are held in obscurity (always in the back ground, and given dismissive parts) Notice how ww who are semi- to -very unattractive, are held up as somewhat pretty (Sarah Jessica Parker) (Melissa Gilbert) (Jaime Curtis) etc This is because they get a certain amount of beauty points -bps just for being white, and of course a wg should ALWAYS get to play the princess regardless of looks.... Harry was always the expert at breaking down this type of conditioning. But we'll delve further into that later.. Thanks for tuning in....