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Top: A ROYAL WEDDING barely cov. by the news!Prince Max and Princess Angela Brown...Pictures of couples like Heidi and Seal, are often prevalently displayed, yet pictures of bw/wm couples are quite often ignored, and downplayed in the media...
This is a letter I was sent from a wm who feels that bw/wm marriages are being downplayed in the media.....
Hi Sara, I am a white male who has been reading your blog since I found it a few months ago. BTW -great blog! I just wanted to ask why does the media try so hard to downplay bw/wm marriages? I have been married to my beautiful black wife for over 5 years, and in that time we have watched bw/wm marriages explode here in Cali. And we were both wondering why the media tries so hard to obscure this type of relationship, while showing couples like tiger and the nanny, or Seal and Heidi ad nauseum. I read a lady's blog (don't remember name) and she said that the number of bw/wm couples was at 141.000 in 2003!!!! Yet if you read some of the articles circulating on the Internet now, they claim it's only 117.000 NOW!!! Basically, everybody just copied the same article, and nobody has done any current research to verify anything! I googled the stat. 141.000 black women married to white men, and sure enough the census bureau confirms that the number really was 141.000 in 2003 so there is no way in hell it could only be 117.000 now. Plus I read that black women/white men marriages have increased 171%! So whats going on? Also, my wife loves to see bw/wm couples so when I hear of a new one or find out someone is married to a bw, I try to find the pic for her. Well, its like trying to find a needle in a haystack! I mean I look, and look, and look! It's absolutely crazy!! do you have this problem? The weird thing is the other way around, the pictures are easily accessible. I mean you can see the bm with their homely white wives all day. (sorry, I just don't find ww very attractive) When I do come across the pictures, I notice that the black women are always either very attractive, educated, classy etc. In other words, they always have something going for them. Yet when it's the other way around, it seems most black men will take a woman most white men would not be caught dead with, as long as she's white! Not racist or anything, me and my wife noticed this. In fact, she's the one who clued me in. I see white men strolling these streets with beautiful black women all day, basically ignoring the angry looks from the 'brothers'. So I keep wondering why they are misrepresenting the stats, and why it's so hard to find the pics! When I go out with my lovely wife, we have to deal with black men getting raging mad, staring, casting 'you ain't shit' looks at my wife etc. We don't care, we revel in each other and are quite happy, so we pay them no mind, but why do they get so angry and defensive? Many times they are with a blond themselves sitting across the room glaring at us! And why are the pics so hard to find, and last question why are they so being so covert about the number? thanks for listening-love your blog, - Kenny
Dear Kenny, I know what you mean, yes I have noticed it is much more difficult to find the bw/wm pics and quite a bit easier to find the opposite. It became such a difficult process for me, I stopped bothering and simply used what my readers sent me. Many times (in the past) I had to find the couple separate, and put them side by side. As far as the stat goes, I think the reason everyone thinks the stat is 117.000 bw/wm marriages is because the article came out and said that, and everyone just took the article, and as you said copied it. I have seen it quoted numerous times. I knew the number was wrong, but I was not sure of the right number. I did not want to misquote, so I left it alone. As for bm, they are simply being hypocrites. They worship at the alter of white flesh all day and then catch a serious attitude if we happen to even glance a wm's way. We have been out to restaurants. and had them glare at us, flick us off, and act in many inappropriate ways, all while they 'cheesed' in a ww's face. We ignore them because we just don't give a damn. I suggest you and your wife do the same. Unless you are in physical danger, ignore them. As for the media, I believe that they don't want black women to know just how powerful, and in demand they truly are, and just how many men would love to have them. This I believe is the reason the couplings are downplayed and many times obscured. But things are changing. And as more and more wm let it be known that they are attracted to bw, more and more other wm are beginning to admit it as well, and act on the knowledge. Black women are poised to truly go places! they are graduating from college and 3 x the rate of bm. They are buying houses, and taking over industries, and becoming the female movers and shakers of this world. With a white man (who is seen as all Powerful in America) they could easily become an unstoppable force! This is why I think it is downplayed, and outright lied about. ... I thank you for reading, and give your wife my best....Sara
135 comments:
Kenny, enjoy your life and forgot those boring hypocritical bm. I have for many years.
At this point I will probably end up with a non-bm. If that is the case I will look into his beautiful eyes and completely ignore anyone that does not like it or tactfully tip if possible if threatened.
Funny, my friends and I were just talking about this the other day. Yes, the media does play up various couples, while down playing others. If it wasn't for the pictures on your sight, I wouldn't have known so many BW celebrities are dating or even married to WM because I don't see it in the media. It's sad to say it, but interracial dating that involves a BW is rarely seen or portrayed in the media.
Like anything else, you, we, they, us, must write our own history. We complain about "our" music, we complain about "our" communities, we complain about the men we truly love, ect.
As we all know, there our many powerful bw/wm couples in the media, political arena and business. Why aren't they more vocal?
Bm/ww couples are everywhere because they are narcisstic self-centered individuals who want to be gawked at for obvious reasons.
We have documentaries from brothals to following English school children around with a camera. How hard is it to make a documentary about bw/wm?
I guess I'm sort of rambling but the point I'm trying to make is that we can't sit around waiting for something that probably won't be happening any time soon. Not unless you're Ms Perry or somebody.
We need to stop wondering and start acting.
It all starts with promoting places like this blog... after all, why should black women spend yet another "Decade" of their life crying about how WW are "Taking" our Blk. Men???? Shut-Up, Get-up, and take Wht. Men {or Asian, Latino
men}. You see, [& someone pointed this out earlier in another post} most of the BM/WW IR are just for show/playthings, until they want to run back to both WM and BW... but now it seems that WM/BW are throwing a "Monkey-wrench" in the waiting game! No more putting our love-life on hold....
lol...I just read the top caption and said to myself, "Hell, Yeah."
ann
"Bm/ww couples are everywhere because they are narcisstic self-centered individuals who want to be gawked at for obvious reasons" ....so true, I am so tired of seeing Seal's and what's her name face as the post couple of ir dating.
a. f.
Selena, Lord knows we need a documentary, especially after the butcher job we got on CNN making, it seem like we're either HIV-infected crackheads or bitter single women. Years ago I saw an Ebony article on a woman decribing why she married a WM. She looked so unhappy you'd have thought they photo shopped mug shots of her face onto her wedding pictures.
So, are there any engaged BW/WW couples reading this? Put your announcement and pic in the paper. Not picked out a dress? There are shows looking for brides to videotape. Then there are wedding shows---not the scary ones, please. Some shows give couples free trips. For those who are pregnant, ever thought of going on A Baby Story? You'd be a welcome relief to constantly seeing that horribly dressed couple with 17 kids staying in a house with ugly bedroom furniture. Or do you need some decorating help? Go on an HGTV show. They can help sale your house, fix your kitchen, etc., and you can show the world we're not a bunch of scary, semi-obese eye and neck rollers.
"As for bm, they are simply being hypocrites. They worship at the alter of white flesh all day and then catch a serious attitude if we happen to even glance a wm's way."
I know the feeling. Replace bm with ww and wm with bw and that describes to a tee what wm go through with ww.
Only ww aren't up front and in your face about it like bm. Instead, white women are more passive agressive about it.
Also, yes I've noticed that Hollywood showcases some couples while seemingly hiding others. For a long time I thought I was the only one who noticed it, or perhaps that it was in my head. But after speaking to others about it, I realize this is not simply paranoia. This is an observable trend.
“Years ago I saw an Ebony article on a woman decribing why she married a WM. She looked so unhappy you'd have thought they photo shopped mug shots of her face onto her wedding pictures.”
Lol, as if someone forced her. I hate how the media finds unhappy bw/wm couples to represent ALL bw/wm couples. I heard that stupid ‘black in america’ nonsense also featured an unhappy bw/wm couple. How typical
“You'd be a welcome relief to constantly seeing that horribly dressed couple with 17 kids staying in a house with ugly bedroom furniture.”
Lol, hahahaha, omg, girl, don’t you just want to slap that woman with some hair styling serum, I mean seriously, are we women supposed to look up to her, no, we are not going back to those barefoot and pregnant days, never! LOL!
So true... so so true. The media will find the most obscure black male celeb and post all kinds of pics of him and his ww and their "story". And yet Robert Deniro, one of the most celebrated cinema stars of past and present has been married to a bw for years, and you hear so much about him... everything but his love life. And finding information or a picture about it, is like a practice in futility.
My friend and I were talking about this and we have a theory based on what we've seen and read. The biggest consumers of celebrity gossip and information are ww, and the media caters to it. That's why we have to hear about Britney Spears and which ww is dating which bm ad nauseum. It sells... cause they buy it. And the media is not stupid, they know ww do NOT want to hear about which bw is dating which wm so they don't hype it. It's not like you hear about wm and aw IR either (and we know they exist too). You can make an arguement that they want to keep bw down (as a bw, I see that too) BUT don't kid yourself either... it's about the almighty dollar first and foremost.
~C~
So, are there any engaged BW/WW couples reading this? Put your announcement and pic in the paper. Not picked out a dress? There are shows looking for brides to videotape. Then there are wedding shows---not the scary ones, please. Some shows give couples free trips. For those who are pregnant, ever thought of going on A Baby Story? You'd be a welcome relief to constantly seeing that horribly dressed couple with 17 kids staying in a house with ugly bedroom furniture. Or do you need some decorating help? Go on an HGTV show. They can help sale your house, fix your kitchen, etc., and you can show the world we're not a bunch of scary, semi-obese eye and neck rollers.
Yes, yes, YES! Does anyone remember the Super Nanny episode that had the bw/wm blended family? The mom had her sons plus they had a little girl between them. The bw was doing it BIG-huge home! I believe she had her own real estate business and paid all the bills. You can tell that she was used to doing it herself from previous relationships. Anyway her husband was a preacher.
I don't know the average age of the readers here but I remember as a kid, whenever a black entertainer was on TV, my parents would lose their mind and everyone wwould coming runnning to see them lol. Now I catch myself doing the same thing when a bw/wm couple are on one of those realty shows or even game shows.
BUT don't kid yourself either... it's about the almighty dollar first and foremost.
ITA as well. However news is news. Those that give the interviews are those that will be in the news. It's just that simple. A fear of alienating a certain fan base is probably the reason that we don't hear about whose married to whom.
Robert Dinero has never been one that did extensive interviews and never had to be. Nor has Alfre Woodard. However there's a number of other avenues to venture into in regards to bw/non-bm relationships that would give great visibility.
Honestly, I think it may have more to do with the level of fame, attractiveness, and youth of the couples and not so much a purposeful marginalization of bw-wm couples. I mean Heidi Klum is a supermodel while Seal is a rockstar and they are still young and very popular right now. If we're being totally honest, we have to admit that there really isn't a comparable bw-wm couple in Hollywood right now. Garcelle Beauvois(sp?) is a C-list actress at best and no one knows her hubby so why would they get much media coverage? Same with Afre Woodard, Heather Headley, etc. Halle Berry is A-list, but her beau was pretty much a nameless male model until they got together, so they get a decent amount of attention, but not the same amount they'd get if he were a megastar too. With David Bowie and Iman you have a rock star and a supermodel, but he is an aging rock legend, not a current "it" star and she is a "former" model who doesn't really do anything newsworthy now. Frankly, I think if Halle were to hook up with George Clooney or Naomi with Brad Pitt or Tyra with John Mayer, it would get just as much coverage as Heidi and Seal.
Robert Dinero has never been one that did extensive interviews and never had to be. Nor has Alfre Woodard. However there's a number of other avenues to venture into in regards to bw/non-bm relationships that would give great visibility.
You're right about that. I would love to see more bw/non-bm couples and support any mediums that promote them. If mainstream media won't do it... there are definitely other avenues and we should use them! ... right Sara? lol
~C~
Kenny, I'm with you too. When I find those couples I download their pictures and send them to Evia or to Sara.
Has anyone heard of Dr. Iffie Aitkenhead? She is married to Financier Ben Aitkenhead of New York City. Pamela Joyner? There are others. These women are highly accomplished in their own right and happen to be married to non-BM.
Many of these women that the media fails to portray are in the pages of many socialite magazines and web sites. They are listed on the event pages of forward and well read newspapers.
Sure the lowly "main scream" media leaves us out but is up to us to get the news out there. And we all know that anything of importance is left out of the media, "out of sight and out of mind." It's up to us to let BW know that they do have an option in dating and marrying quality men who happen to be Non-BM.
Garcelle Beauvois(sp?) is a C-list actress at best and no one knows her hubby so why would they get much media coverage? Same with Afre Woodard, Heather Headley, etc. Halle Berry is A-list, but her beau was pretty much a nameless male model until they got together, so they get a decent amount of attention, but not the same amount they'd get if he were a megastar too. With David Bowie and Iman you have a rock star and a supermodel, but he is an aging rock legend, not a current "it" star and she is a "former" model who doesn't really do anything newsworthy now.
Ok, I'll bite...
You're joking right?
@ 10:39 a.m. what you are saying is not really true. How many times have you seen c list ww get media exposure simply because they were active...they have no real talent or education? What about Governor Spitzer's skank hooker? This not so cheap trick is getting all types of media exposure and generating money from her website.
In other words, there is a lack of media exposure to wm/bw couples of all ages and talents.
a.f.
Anon, what the hell are you talking about? Seal is a rock star! Are you kidding me? Seal is so unattractive most bw didn't even care WHO he married! They were just shocked somebody wanted him. And he hardly looks young to me. Heidi is well into her 30s (hardly young by hollywood standards) and Garcelle is certainly no C-list Actress! But if that's all there is to it. Then what about Justin Chambers He's certainly hot and young (rarely seen with his black wife. What about the voice guy who recently passed (hardly anyone KNEW he had a blk wife!) What about Actor Mark Wingette, The famous mega rich french producer, Wolfgang puck, George Lucas,etc. All married (except for George, who is still dating) to black women. Yet you never see it. In fact when a famous bw has a w/husband he is likely to be excluded from the pictures and rarely mentioned in the interview. Yet Tiger and the nanny, are all but given a billboard!
@ Sara...be mindful of mystery people leaving negative comments about bw/wm.
ann
correction... Attractive.
a.f.
Sara is 100% correct.
ann
Anonymous at 10:39, you are a troll. Just so you know, Tom Cruise has dated Thandie Newton as has Brad Pitt. Pitt alos dated Robin Givens and Sinnitta. Sinnitta was engaged to Simon Cowell three times(during a 15 year relationship) and his brother has said that the real reason Simon has not settled down is because Sinnitta is the one and only love of his life. Now Sinnitta is married to a wealthy white man(he's about 45, she's about 39/40). Rihanna dated Shia Lebouf, but it only became 'newsworthy' when someone spread false rumour that he cheated on her with a blonde extra on the set of his film. Naomi dated Gerard Butler, the media practically ignored it, yet when this huy was seen with Cameron Diaz, it was all over the papers, even though Gerard almost had to diss Cameron for people to know that they weren't dating. When he was pictured with Jennifer Aniston on a business dinner(for a new film), the magazines reported it as a 'romantic' dinner. They went to dinner again, despite the fact that Gerry had already said it was purely work related, it was only till J. Aniston started getting irritated that the media let that story drop. Had it been some black actor(a very good looking one) that said he 'loved' ww, it would have been all over the news. Yet when Gerry said he loved bw, how many people even heard it?
Robin Thicke and Paula white, anyone. Had it been a sexy black man who is a great singer(say, usher) married to and about to have a baby with a beautiful white woman(say Scar Jo, Megan Fox), we'd never hear the end of it. If he had put said ww in his video and sang love songs to her, everyone would be saying it's soooo romantic, yet how come it is mainly black women who are falling all over Thicke's songs. Anytime he uses a ww, all of a sudden, his songs are called 'pop' and they enter the pop charts, wher eww can drool. So anonymous at 10:39, I know you are a troll. Quit it!
Yes, and one more thing. George Clooney also dated Naomi Campbell. Seal & Heidi's marriage isn't so rosy. She dumped him for the Italian Billionaire Flavio Briatorre, who always seems to go back to Naomi. When Flavio dumped her while pregnant, she ran back to Seal, who unsurprisingly, took her back with open arms. Flavio was Naomi's on-again off again, but she insisted that their relationship remain business(as they had some investments together). Now, she's engaged(I think) to that Russian billionaire. Most supermodels usually get the white man billionaire above the age of 50/60 or atleats 20 years older than them. Naomi is 38. Her gazillionair bloke is 45. Why isn't THAT splashed all over the papers, afterall, they are an 'it' couple!
The biggest consumers of celebrity gossip and information are ww, and the media caters to it. That's why we have to hear about Britney Spears and which ww is dating which bm ad nauseum. It sells... cause they buy it. And the media is not stupid, they know ww do NOT want to hear about which bw is dating which wm so they don't hype it. It's not like you hear about wm and aw IR either (and we know they exist too). You can make an arguement that they want to keep bw down (as a bw, I see that too) BUT don't kid yourself either... it's about the almighty dollar first and foremost.
Same reason that bw on One Life to Live got fired. What gets me is we have magazines catering to bw mostly and yet we don't show bw ir couples. Why worry about what bm think about what is in a bw magazine anyway?
Many of these women that the media fails to portray are in the pages of many socialite magazines and web sites.
Can you tell me of some of these websites and magazines? One of my emails is bgurrl@mail.com
Hell Brad Pitt or Prince William could be married to a black woman or dating one and it would probably hardly get or wouldn't get any exposure.
Funny thing with Prince Maximilian and Angela Brown is that many people in Europe know of the couple. When I first heard of them I googled, yahooed, Asked etc. I ended up in several royalty messageboards etc. (sort of fan clubs) and people knew and thought they were a beautiful couple. Whew the U. S. has a long way to go.
Well said JM!!!
Seal & Heidi's marriage isn't so rosy. She dumped him for the Italian Billionaire Flavio Briatorre, who always seems to go back to Naomi. When Flavio dumped her while pregnant, she ran back to Seal, who unsurprisingly, took her back with open arms. Flavio was Naomi's on-again off again, but she insisted that their relationship remain business(as they had some investments together).
_____________________
Dang...I had no idea all THAT when down! I remember Heidi being knocked up with *another* man's kid when seal married her (**SMDH** only a bm. but yet LMAO @ the same time cuz of how stupid they are)
So I guess Seal should be getting down on his hands & knees and kissing Naomi Campbell's butt, since Naomi stole Heidi Klum's 1st choice from her--- Thus making it possible for Ms. Klum to go crawling back to him... Preggers and all!!!
Hi coolsplash1
some of the sites I look at are
new york social diary, san francisco social diary
sometimes bossip.com and mediatakeout.com have their swirl pics of ir couples too. Of course they are always biased against BW/WM couples.
Jalil: "Seal & Heidi's marriage isn't so rosy. She dumped him for the Italian Billionaire Flavio Briatorre, who always seems to go back to Naomi."
Is that really true? I never heard that. If so, that's priceless evidence of the media's bias.
http://www.mediatakeout.com/2008/28459-shocker_arkansas_man_murders_hairstylist__claims_that_she_didnt_braid_his_hair_fast_enough_.html
And bm on youtube really wonder why bw are choosing non-bm and other men over bm?
This is ridiculous
I haven't really followed the Heidi and Seal saga, nor have I followed many others, but I do know this: if the stupid girl from Survivor can get put on The View, there's hope for us all. How many times have we seen silly folks on TV? How many times have you asked yourself, "How come that stupid person is on TV and I'm not?" We see WW go on freakin' dating shows and before you know it ABC is paying several million dollars for their weddings. And who brought up the Spitzer hooker? Like you, I was wondering what the heck they needed to talk to her about. She's a hooker. She has sex with strangers for money. End of story. They could have called my library and I would have happily read the definition of hooker to them out of the dictionary and saved them from giving that hooker a check.
“When Flavio dumped her while pregnant, she ran back to Seal, who unsurprisingly, took her back with open arms. Naomi is 38. Her gazillionair bloke is 45. Why isn't THAT splashed all over the papers, afterall, they are an 'it' couple!”
Wow, well, that’s the good thing about bm/ww being together, they practice their nonsense on each other. That is so sad and pitiful, how can you marry a woman who is literally carrying another man’s baby, how low can you go?? Anyways, on to more attractive couples, that Russian man is so so attractive, Naomi is so beautiful as well, they are both lucky to have each other. So cute, that Russian is so cute and his body is so on point (he he) . sadly enough, I would have never known about Naomi and her beau if it wasn’t for Evia and Sara, I just wish the average AA woman could see this stuff cause seriously, I would have never known without the blogs. I think with more exposure to these couples, bw would know for sure that they are desired by all men, but they have to be willing to go out of the box and go to places (such as these blogs) where you can see the truth
“Dang...I had no idea all THAT when down! I remember Heidi being knocked up with *another* man's kid when seal married her (**SMDH** only a bm. but yet LMAO @ the same time cuz of how stupid they are) “
okay, ONLY A BM!!! isn’t it shameful and pitiful. With bw, bm are VERY SELECTIVE, but with non-bw period, a female private part is all that’s required!!! How low can you go!!!
I agree with TC. Look at Kim Kardashian, she may not entirely white, but after the whole scandal with Ray J, she got a reality TV show (with E!) and a stint on Dancing with the stars. No one has bothered to label her as a whore or porn star for what she did. If she were black, you know good and well, she'd be labeled anything but...a woman/child of god.
I mean, it's insane. I could care less who she's dating, but the thing is she got to move on with her life as if nothing happened.
Dee, what happened with kim?
Great points JM, you really summed that up...
There is a jealously and fear of bw, that is why wm/bw relationships are down played by the media, but what is for you, you will get. Bw are very beautiful and blessed and they should just go out, get on with their own lives and ignore what the media and stupid black men say, and realise that you are loved and deserve love.
@ Sara,
1. Sex tape with Ray J- which they both denied they leaked out but they BOTH got paid for. She received a whole lot more than he did. She was rumored to have undercut him behind his back.
2. Ray J's mom is crrently suing her trifling behind for stealing. A while back their mother authorized her to make "some" charges on the family's credit cards(s). Let's just say the girl went a little overboard.
3. After Ray J was done with her she's been linked to SEVERAL bm.
Well, Sara...she managed to get a lot of fame after the incident. People are still talking about how hot she is. When Karine Steffans came out with her book, people labeled her as a whore and a big mouth, even though she managed to come clean about it. Think of Kim's situation like Paris Hilton's. When the sex tape was made and sent, she became famous just for that besides being an heiress.
I am no great defender/detractor of ww/bm relationships in particular. (I don't care what they do. Anytime two couples find each other, that is cool.).....BUT, I think the whole Seal/Heidi thing I see here is incorrect. I do not believe she "met" Seal until AFTER she left/ or was left by Flavio (the Italian guy.)..and that she and Seal truly fell in love...and as a woman who was pregnant(albeit by another man) she was highly receptive to falling in love, ansd calming herself for the duration of the pregnancy...and IN steps Seal, during her time of turmoil with Flavio.........as a woman, she was reacting to some very primal urges..if he could love her under those circumstances, then she probably thinks (rightly so) she has a man who is going to stand by her, no matter what..and isn't that what ALL women want?
I actually don't mind this couple...and although I am loathe to praise Germans (or anyone) above Americans..I would say that the MODERN Germans appear to be receptive to HUMANS of diverse appearance in general. What I mean by that is Seal is rather unusual...and unfortunately I have seen too many Americans (all sorts) ridicule him for his appearance, skin color, toes, nose, everything..Heidi just sees a hot protective, decent man...and I am pretty sure that is exactly what he is.
I would definitely give this couple a pass..
As for Naomi and Flavio (the father of the first child of Heidi)...well I believe they had a very up/down long relationship, and that he was probably abusive to her..and unfaithful..and he is now married to a young Italian woman..someone he can control no doubt..I don't believe he is a great guy, and he has certainly washed his hands of the child he had with Heidi..although I an sure he financially supports her.
Naomi now "seems" to be in a good situation. We don't REALLY know these things...but he (the Russian billionaire) is certainly a "catch on paper," as I like to say..and he looks good to boot..in pictures anyway.
I have said more than enough on this subject, as I have no true special knowledge of these couples...but I really think I have made an accurate assessment here.
Ha ha!
I tell ya...
There isn't a doubt in my mind that bw/wm couples are downplayed ON PURPOSE. In a matter of fact the reality was getting on my nerves during the election so much that I though that Condoleeza Rice should've been chosen to run as vice-president on the republican ticket rather than Palin. Her and McCain aren't involved (duh) but it would've sure been one EXTREME pairing!!!!!
Boy all the commotion that would've caused! You could just imagine!!!!! (I'm still kind've upset that she didn't for president period but whatevers...)
Nonetheless, about Asian women and white men...i know they are still downplayed as well but i'm pretty sure that the media would rather put a aw/wm pairing than a bw/wm couple. It's obvious! Hasn't anyone noticed?
It's a question I've been wondering about lately. What is it that they are afraid of?????? I mean what damage could REAL bw/wm couples actually do that is soo really bad????
whoever made the point about karrine steffans is so on point. How come Paris is never called a whore but she (steffans) constantly is. How come her little indiscretions are 'so cute' but karrine can barely show her face. I remember watching an episode of Tyra Banks, which featured karrine, and she was trying to explain to a very angry Tyra why she wrote the book. Tyra was so unbeleivable rude and unprofessional, I was shocked. She kept interrupting her and snapping "But why would you kiss and tell!" She accused her of ruining the careers of these bm and other offenses, and would not let her explain at all. When she finished cursing her out (on national TV) she went to commercial and came back without Karrine, who had never been given the oppty to explain, she had been promised. I was so disgusted, that I changed the channel. I have never seen Tyra treat a ww guest like that regardless of what they've done.....
@ Sara...Tyra may have been siding with her bm friends. And, she wonder why she was having a hard time holding onto a bm.
Kim K. and her sisters are a bunch of WHORES and they are proud of this fact.
One of the sisters was at a big party and someone was giving her bottles of champagne on the "side" and when the camera guy asked her why that guy was giving her this champagne all she could think to say was,"Because I am a Kardashian.
So much for a private education.
And, their mother, Bruce Jenner's wife she is no better. The mother does not appear to have any shame either.
a.f.
Karrine Steffains, said she did asked some of her "friends" who could afford to assist her financially for a little help until she found employment these cowards or "friends" simply refused. She said she wrote the book because she was totally broke and the money helped her to pay her bills and support her son.
She was dating the guy who played on the Urkel show(I cannot remember the exact name at the moment) and Jay from Tom Joyner referred to Karrine as "Super Head" now my question is would he had called Paris, Brittany, Madonna, Ashley Dupre and all the rest of those women such a name?
p.s. Jay is very into ww; therefore, he is biased.
ann
I think we all know he would NOT have called them that name. When britney showed her coochie on the internet, and Paris was reveling in her newfound bad girl image (from a sex tape). Neither one was being called whores or anything else. When Lindsey was falling out of clubs drunk, and the olson twin was going into rehab, it was sooo cute, but anything a bw does gets her labeled a whore or tramp for life. I'm sick of the media throwing us under the bus and using other bp to do it. He had no business calling her superhead! That was a mistake she made as a young and naive girl, how many ww have done/are doing far worse and getting away unscathed? Every time I look at her, I see a lonely beautiful girl who has had her naivety and beauty used against her. She reminds me of Marilyn Monroe because thats what I always saw when I looked at her too. Fortunately for Marilyn, she was white, so there were always ppl trying to help her....
I agree about Marilyn Monroe. I was a wee girl when she died. After I began to hear more about her it was interesting to me (not grown yet) because she lived a lifestyle that my parents told me was wrong. However she was portrayed as a sympathetic character. Things have not changed a bit sad to say. In fact in my somewhat short life (under 50) I am just shocked at what I hear about these days. One thing that was nice a long time ago. At least some of the most salacious stuff was not reported on at one point. That has gone out the window. I rarely if ever keep up with the entertainment madness because it promotes just about everything I am against when it comes to healthy productive lifestyles. The fact that the double standard in reporting on the foibles of bw is so brutal makes me furious.
oh goodness, when i was reading about what yall had to say about Paris and Kim, I was thinking about how WE could get people's attentions that these females are the whores. i know it might sound strange yall, but an eye for an eye as far as i'm concerned.
i remember yesterday, i was watching something with my aunt and on tv they were recaping how many boyfriends and fiances Paris has had in the last couple of years. My aunt was shocked and said "she changes her boyfriend like she changes her underwear". and it's true
btw Sara, I consider Tyra to be very dumb and a bit underdeveloped, no body in my family watches her anymore cause it's way too painful. and we all end up getting really irritated.
i do hate it that everything famous bw do it seems like it's a blunder. i mean, i feel like Janet has been hiding out since the wardrope malfunction. a ww would have probably gained positive publicity from that and more opportunities, poor Janet.
It's like the media "gets off" on downing black women for some reason. I'm sure everyone has noticed that...the moment you don't give into it, you just have a path of chaos/stupidity/uncertainty wrapped up in one because you don't believe in that mess! I just feel that way when you have this great post!
"What is it that they are afraid??????? I mean what damage could REAL bw/wm couples do that is soo really bad????"
The media has a lot of influence on people minds. It works in negative and positive ways. I don't think the media wants to start encouraging the masses of bw and wm out there to date/marry each other.
At least the individuals out there that may be hesitant.
People are more apt to believe stuff or feel bolden or encourage to do stuff if they see it often.
ITA Mary,
How does 1 wardrobe malfunction equate to nearly ending an over 30 year career of an icon. But boozing, drugging and prostituting catapults talentless minions?
BW need to keep encouraging the BW (and others who support BW)who are in positions of power in the media world to do more to promote POSITIVE, ACCURATE images of ALL and BW BW/WM/non-BM IRR's. The world needs to KEEP SEEING that BW are beautiful, intelligent, successful, desirable women that are worthy of being LOVED, DATED/MARRIED by QUALITY WM/non-BM. More positive images of BW will also help to counteract the anti-BW media bias and the constant attacks on the humanity/dignity of BW by society in general.
it really is sick, but it continues cause at the end of the day, the media caters to ww cause ww still have a strong association with the men ruling this country (WM). they're their daddies, their husbands and family members. sadly enough for bw, a woman's life is immensely affected by the men she's associated with.
BW need to keep encouraging the BW (and others who support BW)who are in positions of power in the media world to do more to promote POSITIVE, ACCURATE images of ALL and BW BW/WM/non-BM IRR's.
The problem is there are not that many bw or bp of positions of power in Hollywood or the media. Executives have more power. There really aren't that many bp people that have the power to greenlight and the one we have makes movies about executive bw finding a better life with the working man. You know who I mean.
Frankly I think bp/bw just need to seriously be independent of Hollywood. Come up with a film industry of our own. Do like Nigerians run your own ish. Nollywood ain't perfect, but at least they control their image and can tell their own stories. I'm glad actors now filmmakers like Stephanie Okekere are making films and making better roles for African/African American etc. women. Plus she made a movie where she cast herself as the love interest in a bw/wm
http://www.luckinlove.com/ Sara I was hoping you would check out this site and possibly link it. It's a free online seminar for marriage and marrying well. It's crazy. I need to go to bed, but for some reason I'm not sleepy.
I'm wondering if we need some sort of association that steps in when things are grossly misleading, misrepresented and inhumane. I’m not talking about the antiquated NAACP. I'm talking about a feminist association for bw. I mean the Jewish community steps up when they smell wrongdoing. WW can call on their feminist organization when their panties get in a bunch. That's the kind of thing we need in order to set change in motion. We’re quick to rally BEHIND someone else, but what about us?
Do we have an ACTIVE organization out there?
A while back I remember Gina (WAOD) was part of the movement to boycott BET. I remember someone metioning legislation to denounce the negative way bw are portrayed in the media. However I haven't heard anything else.
HARRY POTTER said - "In fact, it seems that when white women misbehave in any fashion it is often celebrated as an act of liberation and empowerment. But when black women do the same thing it always gets shown as an example of moral deficiency. "
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So true. Just imagine the backlash if you replace college aged bw with ww in those "Girls Gone Wild Videos".
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Mary - i remember yesterday, i was watching something with my aunt and on tv they were recaping how many boyfriends and fiances Paris has had in the last couple of years. My aunt was shocked and said "she changes her boyfriend like she changes her underwear". and it's true
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I think the men who date and get engaged to these loose promiscuous women have more of a problem than the women. Do they really want these women to be the mother to their kids or are they just along for the ride of fame and fortune, who knows? When Brittney kept flashing her "coochie" (as Sarah calls it, lol) she should have never been shown again in the media. Instead she got "comeback". These women suffer little to no consequences. As someone mentioned, Janet was slammed for an accident. That was one powerful bw's breast.God forbid if both were exposed. Time would have stopped.
Maybe WAOD should do something like youtube, blip etc. video news episodes
http://blip.tv/file/116854
http://blip.tv/file/386892/
http://www.veoh.com/channels/citizenkate (doesn't have to be crazy), but I do like her interview style and the format of the show)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=196PBIWtBzc (blasian network about what blasians are doing, it's a postive news site)
http://www.paxstereo.tv/ tv channel through htt://www.mogulus.com
http://blip.tv/file/1341060/ (and this show is insane, but it's a cool interview almost late night style show.
http://blip.tv/file/1487024 (more crazy)
http://www.mogulus.com/therealnews
http://www.webtvwire.com/web-tv-tools-create-your-own-internet-tv-show/
http://www.newmediabytes.com/2008/03/30/how-to-make-your-own-online-video-show/
http://www.maximumpc.com/article/howtos/create_your_own_internet_video_show
I would also check out college news shows (yeah they might not look great, but it could give ideas) even check out high school (the same applies as above)
Okay yeah I got a lot of websites out there, but I do think it could be a cool idea.
oh and check this out
TYLER PERRY COURTS OUTSIDE FILMMAKERS: Mogul launches new production arm of Tyler Perry Studios to expand brand.
Tyler Perry is seeking new talent with the launch of 34th Street Films, a production arm of his Atlanta-based Tyler Perry Studios that will focus on recruiting outside filmmakers to work under and expand the Perry brand.
The new operation will be headed by Matt Moore, former executive VP of production at Jinks/Cohen. Former State Street Pictures vp Poppy Hanks will join the company as vp production, and former New Line executive Amber Rasberry will serve as a creative executive. The trio will work from a Los Angeles office and report to Perry's headquarters in Atlanta.
In July, Perry signed a new three-year, first-look pact with Lionsgate Films, the studio that has released every Perry film, including his 2005 breakthrough debut feature, "Diary of a Mad Black Woman." The deal requires Perry to deliver at least three films over the life of the contract.
But the explicit nature of the arrangement is to encourage Perry to broaden his audience by guiding the work of other filmmakers who bring a wider range of storytelling and casting choices. Lionsgate will retain a first-look position with 34th Street films as well.
"He's looking to work with other producers," Lionsgate president of production Mike Paseornek told the Hollywood Reporter last month. "I have producers coming out of the woodwork saying to me, 'Do you think this would be right for Tyler?' That's going to be exciting to see, with different producers, different writers, different directors and different subject matter."
SOURCE: The Hollywood Reporter
In other words we need more than Perry Style.lol
cool_splash1,
Thanks for clarifying what I really meant. I TOTALLY AGREE that BW need to make their own films and media that PROPERLY REPRESENTS BW on every level of society. We need a FEMALE TYLER PERRY who will produce pro-BW films/media.
The media definitely downplays bw/wm couples, and we are not the only ones who notice this. I cant tell you how many times the argument that ‘you never see bw with bm celebrities/athletes’ was used to devalue bw. Yet, it was only in offense to these IR blogs that you saw bp coming out of the woodwork to point out that most bm are married to bw, while conveniently ignoring the 70% single rate, domestic violence, divorce AND murder rate. I also think that we have power in this matter, that we have yet to flex (at least in an effective concerted way). We can make efforts to support those who support us, AND support and represent ourselves. From being more conscious of what u spend ur money on, largely supporting things that portray us positively, and producing things ourselves. These are the things that people and industry respond to. If you don’t show that you love yourself, why expect anyone else to?
As for some of the comments…Ladies, how can you hate on these ww for having what YOU want? It is soo easy, but I know you are better than that. I think we should be focused more on what we can do to change things and/or control our image, rather than what one group of women have versus us. When it comes to the Britt’s, Paris’s, and Kim’s, I don’t hate them, even if I don’t always agree with them. I see silly women trying to break the mold of what is traditionally considered feminine and acceptable; and I would rather see the same for us, than try and take that away from them. I am not religious, but I was raised in a religious household, and I can at least accept that some rules do make sense (for now), but I think that women taking hold of defining what womanhood is, is a great thing. I am more concerned with the double standard, and how that not only impacts on young bg’s self-esteem, but it really puts us in an area of NO REGARD among the minds of the society. As a group of women, that is really sad, and yet goes under the radar among the fiercest patriarchs. I would rather be part of the feminist revolution than pointing out its shortcomings. Change is a process, that isn’t always pretty.
I kinda agree with Delishmish about Seal and Heidi as well. I never thought of them as a poor example of a good couple. What woman wouldn't want a man to rescue her in her time of need? Isn't that what WE want as well? When I think of poor examples, it would mean bm who go out of their way to publicly denigrate bw with unconstructive, false and subjective lies. I mean the mere fact that bw outdo bm in education and show up more in the workforce, completely negates at least one argument you always hear: “BW are never in my circles, they are not at my companies, and if they are they are usually secretaries with attitudes” BS!! Or bm/ww couples who practically stalk u until you notice them, or sometimes even attack u out of the blue. Those are the kinda ppl, who r just sad and pathetic in my book. I used to always admire bm/ww couples (any IR couple for that matter), b/c I thought they represented ppl who were above race and thought like me. But I found out the hard way, that it usually wasn’t the case with bm/ww. And I did not have ONE bad relationship that pissed me off, and caused me to go on NATIONAL TV (not some blog, with targeted content) and proclaim that ALL bw have xyz wrong with them. No it was my entire dating life that now surpasses 50%, random encounters with people or other couples, insane accounts of the most horrific acts of violence (with not an ounce of sympathy), or just your average stupid pissant off the street, who needed to feel superior to someone at that moment. It is a problem, not an isolated incident!! Whew!! Where did that come from?
Really cause bm can get a movie like malibooty distributed why can't we make and get our own?
Would Seal have married a black woman in Heidi's situation? Or would he simply have left her to her own devices - i.e., babymamahood. To me, that is the question. I hope that he and Heidi are happy - more power to happy couples.
Just a question about Seal...what about all those bw who were expecting and no bm or other wise came to their rescue?
Just a question. How lucky was Ms. Hedi.
lisa
Energing...I believe we all were speaking of "double standards", I never once said I hated them. However, you are correct lets focus on reaping more positive benefits.
lisa
Well, those in power wanted more control of bm and therefore made it easier for bm to garner a relationship with ww.
What I mean by this? I believe your average bw would be more honest with a bm about certain issues such as business.
In addition, I think a relationship with most ww is more of a distraction for most bm.
This one ex-football player said on tv that some of the players were having Bible Study and there were a few ww groupies outside the door trying to get the players' attention.
I used to see and hear ww say things such as, "Oh, I went to this party and that party and all they would boast about all the bm celebraties who were there. And, I used to wonder why more bw were not invited to those private parties. Now I know why. A little one on one...no bw allowed.
That divide and theory is most certainly is working.
lois
correction...That divide and concur theory is most certainly is working.
lois
Would Seal have married a black woman in Heidi's situation? Or would he simply have left her to her own devices - i.e., babymamahood. To me, that is the question. I hope that he and Heidi are happy - more power to happy couples.
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Sandra77 posed this question.
Hi Sandra ...waving!
This is a great question, and one that I really cannot answer obviously, but I will say this.
I think he goes where he feels comfortable, and where he feels accepted...no doubt many women (including BW) have rejected him because of the lupus, and its effects on his facial skin, and yet there are some among us who are quite able to see beyond the outer physicality. I don't know what kind of woman Heidi is (I know I hate her voice though..lol) but she is clearly able to see beyond the outer physicality...and that is a plus to me. I am sure she was curious about what happened, but time and time again I see her raving about what a man he is and how they take time to keep their relationship alive and vibrant. This is smart, and bodes for a long happy marriage.
I think Seal is a goodlooking guy...and he seems to be a great husband and father too. This makes an attractive package. If he did not have the appearance he did, then he would be a run of the mill guy. This should show that you can take your individual quirks, or deficiencies as it were, and use them to craft yourself into a one of a kind person.
Seal should never commit a crime, because everyone will know it is him.
And would Seal have married a BW similarly situated? I think so, if he loved that person....at least I would like to think so. Love would include someone not continually reminding him he was "ugly." (and he is not.) I bet a lot of women have called him that and worse. Some who he does not even know, while he walks down the street.
Men do this (marry women pregnant with anothers child) all the time by the way, making the biological makeup of the child less important than the one who raises them and nurtures them. I bet if little Leni (Heidi's daughter) saw her bio Dad, she would run screaming to the alps and back.
The powers that be are usually ww.
If these women are dreaming why do you seem to care?
Mr. Queens, I thought you went and found yourself?
a.f.
"That divide and theory is most certainly is working."
i definitely believe it is a divide and conquer strategy. i believe it began with the Moynihan report where the government stated that black women were emasculating black men and that's why the community was deteriorating. that report was during the 60's and that’s when it seems the war between bw/bm started. white people are very crafty to say the least but they wouldn't be succeeding if bm didn't take the bait, if bm weren't so weak minded. i say this cause it is primarily bm who are causing this rift between bw and bm by publically slandering bw every chance they get. when we start publically fighting back (which will be very soon), then it will be all out war. bw did not start it, we will finish it
"The report concluded that the structure of family life in the black community constituted a 'tangle of pathology...capable of perpetuating itself without assistance from the white world,' and that 'at the heart of the deterioration of the fabric of Negro society is the deterioration of the Negro family. It is the fundamental source of the weakness of the Negro community at the present time.' Further, the report argued that the matriarchal structure of black culture weakened the ability of black men to function as authority figures. This particular notion of black familial life has become a widespread, if not dominant, paradigm for comprehending the social and economic disintegration of late twentieth-century black urban life."
As far as I'm concerned, the "powers that be" are the media. And they fluff over bw/wm relationships because we are not their main audience. It's ww... and they don't want to hear about how bw are starting to mate with "their" men. Simple.
~C~
Dear Andrew and your crazy ilk,
didn't you just move to Kissimee Fla?..(feel sorry for the people there) a crazy bitter very ugly (in and out) DBR BM just moved to town)
Surely you must be busy unpacking your one suitcase filled with the returned letters of all the women you loved and did not love you back..or constantly nursing your wounded pride when you imagine that ALL women think you are pretty freaking repulsive...
Hurts I bet. Explains your damage. Now why don't you tend to that pitiful blog of yours (yeah..I had to see it to believe it) your most voracious reader (probably you in a dress) Ms Indeepwonder misses you I am so sure!!!
I'm sorry, but Andrew is entertaining if nothing else. For the sake of those who may find truth in his idiocy, I will bite. Can I point out that a lot of the women here are married to wm. My girlfirend is married to a Vietnamese guy, my other girfriend is getting married to a white guy, and I have several other girlfriends that have been married to wm for sometime, and few who are married to bm. Furthermore, I have been in serious relationships with men of different races, and NO I do not count the men who I randomly dated as serious relationships. I was proposed to by a wm (among two others), and I turned him down (and them). The only one in a dream world is you, LOL!!
As for the media agenda to hide us being perpetrated by wm, I think that is an inaccurate assessment. I don’t think anyone put a gun to black men's heads, and said go on National TV and spew nonsense about bw. WM don’t decide who goes in a Luke video or any major black rap artist for that matter. And any bm with half a brain, could see that the women surrounding him in a show or movie, etc. increasingly did not look like a bw. And at any point could have spoke up, protested, and refused to be cast or led in this manner. But NO, I guess the 'ebil wm', made them do it, and now I should cut your retarded butt a break, LOL!!
He is soo funny, it would be cute (like little dog cute or silly face cute), if this level of stupidity didnt result in stupid violence.
to Andrew...
"My question is when are you going to get tired of being a mistress?"
we got tired a long time ago. that's why we're dating out and looking at more options.
Thank you SKY, nobody here is a mistress except for... it seems to be YOU Andrew! You are the one following us around and whining for attention. Didn't you swear to me you were not coming back! Yet here you are-surprise surprise! It's almost funny. Here you are again begging for attention from women who are though with you and your damaged ilk. I told you ladies bm cannot stand for the attention to ever be off of them. Now why would he be here on a site geared for and written for WOMEN? Because he's a typical damaged bm. He's just like an abusive spouse who tells his wife. "Get out B*tch! I got a better woman than you anyway!" And then the moment she's had enough and really leaves he does everything from begging to threatening her to try to get her back. -Pathetic!
To someone upthread who asked what Heidi Klum's like, well Germany's Next Top Model is subtitled on YouTube and you get to see more of her personality on that. She's sweet, bubbly, spunky and truly cares about the GNTM contestants (unlike Tyra on ANTM who's usually trying to show them up or just ignore them). And Seal appeared on the show quite a few times. They seem so cute and flirty with one another. I can tell they really love one another.
At least the material/financial needs of a mistress are usually taken care of by her paramour. In the case of BW, we are far too often the ones being leeched off of by able-bodied BM who are playing the mistress role.
I may be in the minority but I've always like Seal and Heidi, they seem happy and I'm all for IR regardless of the sex, male, female or whatever. I think a part of being down with the swirl means you appreciate everyones right to date whoever they want and that includes BM.
Look, that is the last comment I will post about seal and heidi. This conversation is NOT about them! This is about bw and the media period. I happen to like them as a couple as well, but that is not relevant, so please leave them alone and lets move on...
This is about bw and the media period. I happen to like them as a couple as well, but that is not relevant, so please leave them alone and lets move on...
.................
LOL Sara...the conversatiion can go "rogue" so easily. I too am guilty of that....but we should always keep the focus on our most precious asset.....random, unknown to us, strangers who are BM...(sorry just a little TG Day humor..lol)..US!!!!
So..quick post, busy day...and I will NOT overeat!...(right..) I would LOVE to see and know more about Princess Angela..who is clearly living well..and yet the first time I heard about her at all was on Evia's site 2 years ago...Usually the media is all over any "Royal" stuff, and one that includes a BW would certainly be newsworthy. I wish the Princess would come out of her castle and do a little PR. Her new country would have an increase in Tourism...not that they need it. I believe they are quite a wealthy little country, and are now known as a tax haven, the way Switzerland used to be.
As for there being a bias in the media..hmmm. well I don't know really. I suspect the racial angst that exists so much in people of color (ALL) does not operate so much in the world of non color..thus they do not need to crow about every everything. Does that make sense to you all?
I believe if we keep up and continue to think as we do, these two worlds WILL blend, and everytime we or one of our sisters does something "spectacular" (which is often for us)it will become more important to that individual, as opposed to the collective.......we are not there yet. but I believe we can get there.
In the meantime, think good thoughts, be the best you can be for you...and have a wonderful day.
At the very least, we can be thankful that the majority will of the American people WAS heard for once on November 4th, 2008.
Anonymous: The media will find the most obscure black male celeb and post all kinds of pics of him and his ww and their "story". And yet Robert Deniro, one of the most celebrated cinema stars of past and present has been married to a bw for years, and you hear so much about him... everything but his love life. And finding information or a picture about it, is like a practice in futility.
Anon this is so true! Robert DeNiro dated black women for years before marrying anybody and he has a daughter who's half-black who should be about 27 by now, a black woman sued him for paternal responsibility back in1992 and she won. His other child besides the twin boys he has with his wife.
When he went to court regarding the case slapped onto him by the black woman that's when I found out Robert DeNiro dated black women. I couldn't believe that American news showed that at the time because they usually didn't not even in the 1990s! LOL
The Internet maybe a curse in some ways, but a blessing in other ways, obviously depending on the nature of the people creating and using the internet as a medium to reach others. But the INTERNET is clearly the one thing that will show idiots the truth now regardless of the stupid TV or mags! LOL
I'm tired of people going on like bw/wm couples are a rarity or insults from your own black people no less going on like bw are aliens with two heads so how could any man, black or 'other', want them for a wife or anything.
Americans, especially both black and white Americans, need to ask themselves the truth: Do they ever notice how some blacks are way lighter than others without having a parent of a different race and why do you think they look that way?
If white men chose to 'involve' themselves with black women, the so-called lowliest of the low, barely-a-woman 'animal', in some sort of way during the slavery years when they had their choice among their own kind and Native American women, then why would all of that 'interest' or even genuine honorable interest to marry a black woman just dry up permanently within the 20th and 21st centuries?
Do people really function in that way? No. The interest has always manifested itself, and how do you explain slave master white men who married the black slave women they owned, which gave those women free status?
He didn't have to do that if there was a Scarlett O'Hara somewhere, especially the really rich masters.
Explain that then!
Look, that is the last comment I will post about seal and heidi. This conversation is NOT about them! This is about bw and the media period. I happen to like them as a couple as well, but that is not relevant, so please leave them alone and lets move on...
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thank you!!!!
Here we go again. This was supposed to be about how the anti-BW media hides/downplays BW/WM romantic relationships, yet shoves BM/WW romantic couples down everyone's throats, and it turns into a an orgy of "Gee heidi klum and seal are so wonderful, great and nice!"
SMH.
To whoever said that being for the swirl means you have to support "ALL" ir couples, well let me tell you something. You need to tell your precious White female Black male couples the same thing, because they think that dating IR should only be for THEM, (While White men and Black women remain loyal to them eating our hearts out) and while they strut down the streets trying to FORCE you to accept and notice them, they will be the FIRST to thumb their noses and act all a fool to a White male Black female ir couple! That is HIPOCRACY!
I seriously wish people would STOP trying to treat ir dating in the Black race as the "Same" with no differences at all whether a Black man does it, or a Black woman does it, it IS NOT the same! BLACK MEN DREW FIRST BLOOD, SPITTIN ON AND ABANDONING BLACK WOMEN TO DATE OUT! PERIOD!
sistas have time to defend a bm dating a ww.
sistas have time to defend a ww who dates a bm.
sistas have time to defend bm in general.
sistas have time to defend ww in general.
sistas never have time to defend sistas.
this honestly makes me think that the overwhelming hatred, oppression, slander, ridicule, and attacking of bw will never end, and it makes me wish I was never born, and it also makes me want to cry and hide.
I like how nobody TRUTHFULLY answered the question asked if mr almighty Seal would marry a Black woman who was in that dumb Heidi Klum's position.
We all know that the answer is a big ol' fat NO!
Black Women better stop this turn the other cheel/kissing up crap when it come to White Women/Black Men and realize once and for all that Black Men and they little White Women don't have our back!
Hey Cool Splash on the cover of Brit papers like the Daily Mail years ago, they did have large color pictures of Naomi Campbell and Prince William sitting right by each other and I think he was at least 19 or 20 at the time.
They met at some event and no they weren't on a date, well that WE are aware of anyway LOL, but the Daily Mail took a few of those photos of Prince William constantly just staring up into Naomi's face and talking to her, it was plain as day to see!
He was smitten with her, it was obvious, and the Daily Mail came right out and said those exact words that 'the prince couldn't stop looking and talking with Naomi all night'!
And in true Naomi style she looked so aloof as if she barely looked directly at him. Hey he was a really young prince at the time after all! But I just love her, no matter what or who, Naomi always thinks to herself 'I can do better!' and THAT'S why people can't handle Naomi and hate on her.
I say Eff em Naomi LOL!
Well, I agree Naomi always seem to date Quality men.
ann
Here is a side note...tmz is showing Gerald Butler tongue tied with a bw.
a.f.
rocky, your 2nd comment was deleted because I just said we were not going to have anymore of *those* comments, and I meant it. As far as what you referred to. That has nothing to do with my opinion, and I suspect you know it....
@anon. 5:32 pm: Ugh, I completely know what you're saying. I'm a college student and I'm taking a black history course this semester. The course is taught by this black man with a white wife. Now, one day we get on the subject of interracial relationships and he asks the class if BW/WM relationships experience the same kind of racism that WW/BM relationships encounter.--he's personal opinion was that they did not. Well, to make a long story short, girl in the class begins to relate a story on why she feels some white men still hold racist beliefs about black women which them from dating (I don't remeber exactly how we got to this point), but she cuts herself off shortly into it, saying "never mind." What I suspect she was about to tell was a story of how she was maybe atempting to flirt with a white guy on campus and it didn't turn out so well. So, our lecturer immediately curls up his nose at her obvious interest in white guys and starts spewing out some incoherant garbage about how black men are the ideal men and white women are the ideal women why shouldn't they be together.--all this mess. But the worst part of the story was the look on this girl's face when he said this stuff: the cute grin she always wears disappeared and you could actually see the light go out in her eyes. Honey child was CRUSHED.--as where other black girls in the class I'm sure. It got to me too, but I knew better than to believe it. But this girl had to be the worst, I mean I got the sense that she was really putting herself out there, by admitting her affections for white guys (in a class where there are several) & by actually attempting to date one. And this bastard comes along and not so subtly hints that they'll never see her as pretty enough to date/marry. Ugh! His supposed to be lifting the black kids on campus up, but instead this is what he does. The bastard! I've seen his wife, too. Not to be mean, but she's average at best and certainly nothing to shout about. And for the record, I the girl who I mentioned is very pretty and very extroverted,also tall. I'd wager that she's fairly intellgent, too, given that she comes from a high school that doesn't always have it together, but made her way from there to college. She'd be a great catch for any man, but now I'm worried that he scared off from going after white men with his bullsh!t logic. I've been meaning to say something to her about the incident, but don't have the courage...Sorry if this story is little difficult to follow, but it still makes my blood boil so much that I just don't know how to get it all out sometimes, ya know? It's what got me to investigate BM/WM relationships more, which is what eventually lead me to this site. Maybe I should share some of my findings with her...
I seriously wish people would STOP trying to treat ir dating in the Black race as the "Same" with no differences at all whether a Black man does it, or a Black woman does it, it IS NOT the same!
yep yep and yep!
i try to convey this to bw as much as i can but always loose out to a certain desperate need in bw to be 'generous'. i dont know where bw get this understanding that doing IR the right way (the concept of 'right way' also being troublesome in itself), involves extending themselves to even people whose IR is founded on the basis of their very denigration.
i might just have to rename bw 'the do right women' the way they always try so hard to cling to as many codes conventions and restriction as folks can possibly lay out.
Supposing I wanted to Date a White Guy...?
Anon this is so true! Robert DeNiro dated black women for years before marrying anybody and he has a daughter who's half-black who should be about 27 by now, a black woman sued him for paternal responsibility back in1992 and she won. His other child besides the twin boys he has with his wife.
Doesn't being dragged to court to take accountability for ones child and having children with multiple women that you are not married to sound like, as you would say, "DBRBM" behavior?
Just because he is famous and white does that mean Bobby gets a free pass yet any BM in his postion would have been bashed 6 ways till Sunday?
To anon, I mentioned the "swirl" I just don't give ww/bm the power , they do not upset me and I even like some IR BM couples real and fictional, while there are some like Coco and IceT that disgust me. I'm letting go a feeling abandoned by BM. I honestly do not nottice how WW/BM act in public and if they act badly it is on them not me. If they are happy more power to them, just as I am free to pursue my happiness outside of BM. If I am truly happy with myself and life, other peoples actions do not bother me.
annon said.."Here is a side note...tmz is showing Gerald Butler tongue tied with a bw"
link of the video. thant's for the heads up!
http://www.tmz.com/videos?autoplay=true&mediaKey=e61462d7-ab4e-4b83-b8ef-8dfa94c25bec
if the video link doesn't work use this link
http://www.tmz.com/2008/11/11/gerard-butler-sucks-some-serious-face/
now this we have to talk about him hmm hmm.lol.
This is a great site. It's about time that someone exposes the routine victimizing of black women and children. I know that this is off topic somewhat, but below is a good example of a black woman being victimized and her child being victimized afterwards by the system and it has gotten almost no real media attention.
http://dailyrepublic.typepad.com/theotherside/
http://www.insidebayarea.com/ci_11048218?source=most_viewed
It's sickening.
They are buying houses, and taking over industries, and becoming the female movers and shakers of this world. With a white man (who is seen as all Powerful in America) they could easily become an unstoppable force! This is why I think it is downplayed, and outright lied about.
***
I think this is what it boils down to. Great statement.
_________________________
Selena says...
Bm/ww couples are everywhere because they are narcisstic self-centered individuals who want to be gawked at for obvious reasons.
***
I hadn't thought of that but it certainly makes sense that the would throw themselves out there.
______________________
~C~ says...
My friend and I were talking about this and we have a theory based on what we've seen and read. The biggest consumers of celebrity gossip and information are ww, and the media caters to it. That's why we have to hear about Britney Spears and which ww is dating which bm ad nauseum. It sells... cause they buy it.
***
This is also another factor.
____________________________
coolsplash1
Frankly I think bp/bw just need to seriously be independent of Hollywood. Come up with a film industry of our own. Do like Nigerians run your own ish. Nollywood ain't perfect, but at least they control their image and can tell their own stories. I'm glad actors now filmmakers like Stephanie Okekere are making films and making better roles for African/African American etc. women. Plus she made a movie where she cast herself as the love interest in a bw/wm
***
A BIIIIGGG Ahmein to that!!! Start doing some screenwriting also. I am currently looking into myself.
____________________________
they will be the FIRST to thumb their noses and act all a fool to a White male Black female ir couple! That is HIPOCRACY!
***
Or try to MURDER them!!!!!
Andrew your ridiculous comments are all being deleted so why don't you save yourself the trouble. If you were not so brain dead you would know that I deleted rocky's comment BEFORE they ever reached my post. I deleted them in the QUE! Therefore the ONLY person who could have known exactly what rocky said was the person PRETENDING TO BE ROCKY! IOWS YOU!!! You are beating your empty head against a wall trying to engage me into an argument, but it will not work. We are beyond petty little nusances like you and on to bigger and much better things. I have no time to waste on the likes of you. I have a nation of beautiful black sistas to wake up and revive....
Anon, 1:56
I wish I had been there. That so called piece of sh*t teacher should be fired. How dare him sprout those lies! BM the ideal men! Give me a break! Are these the same ideal men who won't hold a job, sell drugs all day, make songs disrespecting and demeaning the women of their own race, abandon their children, and incite constant and continuou episodes of violence and damage on their own communities?? Don't make me laugh. The only thing most bm are ideal at is making alot of women wake up and appreciate 'other' men! He had his nerve with that bullsh*t. Please give that young lady this site address and ask her to stop by. We have got to catch these girls when they are young and let them know they do not have to settle for these narsasistic, misogynistic, shallow, superficial gold teeth wearing, peices of cow dung. That they can have REAL men and leave these scraps of demented humanity for the ww, that they seem to adore so much....
mary: i do hate it that everything famous bw do it seems like it's a blunder. i mean, i feel like Janet has been hiding out since the wardrope malfunction. a ww would have probably gained positive publicity from that and more opportunities, poor Janet.
You are 100% correct there. Look at all the hateration poured all over Naomi even after all these years. Just because she's not a pushover, demanded equal pay to othr popular models, and supposedly has an attitude.
Yet when Kate Moss got caught doing coke on camera her career continued to thrive right after she was advised to apologise. In London where Kate lives she is always out on the town doing some publicity thing but she's always going to parties and holding her own parties mean while she feels nothing about always leaving her 4 or 5 year old girl with the nanny while she parties or is always hitting the town with some new guy.
Naomi isn't married and she is busy hitting the town with a new guy all the time but she has no kids running around and the media had to hype up her cocaine addiction, and her going to rehab. Basically a lot of people usually whites feel Naomi should apologise for who Naomi is, but Kate Moss never has to.
Thank God Naomi is who she is actually and keeps living the way she wants to unapologetic. Especially when NONE of the other models are going to apologise for their lifestyle either or change themselves radically.
@ Anon.,1:56
All you bw in the class should have started LAUGHING OUT LOUD.
and that teacher needed a Sara type in his class. No one spoke up in your class? Instructors such as this guy is dangerous to young bw's fame of mind. Being more mature I would have spoke up. This instructor is on an ego trip and he is just bragging about his relationship at the Determinant of young bw.
I just channel surfing and I noticed how the majority of the bw on Ms. Tyler Perry's show are light skin bw. The main bw character is darker and has weight issues. He add a darker woman and that is probably because she is Keisha Knight Pullen from the Cosby show fame.
Anon., after this semester you can report him to the head of your department and tell them you felt offensed by his comments- maybe he will at least think before making such insanely irresponsible comments. This man is only thinking about himself.
LOL, what is that instructor going to tell his daughter heavens forbid if she developes into a darker tone than he would have preferred?
ann
@ ak you are correct.
Janet is a little undercover. But, she has been out some promoting her 20 plus years in the business. Even though I think she should have gotten more media attention. Didn't she look great in that two piece outfit after she lost some weight.
I have come to like Naomi just because she does have the nerve to live her life the way she desires.
Kate Moss, I thought was washed up. Yes, she is a cocain or "coke" head. But, we will keep that infor. on the downlow. We much protect that image...LOL.
ann
Thank God Naomi is who she is actually and keeps living the way she wants to unapologetic. Especially when NONE of the other models are going to apologise for their lifestyle either or change themselves radically.
How many times has Naomi been arrested? From her wikipedia page I am counting 5, including 4 physical assualts. This doesn't even reflect the times she probably got away with stuff for being rich, famous, and pretty.
And this is a "role model" for the masses of young black women everywhere?
Reality Checker if you multiply Bobby by 1,000,000 then yeah you're right. Then you'd get the black male mathematics that you're lloking for.
"So, our lecturer immediately curls up his nose at her obvious interest in white guys and starts spewing out some incoherant garbage about how black men are the ideal men and white women are the ideal women why shouldn't they be together.--all this mess."
This is exactly what I think is wrong with schools today. So many "facts" being taught in some of the social classes are really just opinions being presented as facts. Students aren't being taught how to reason, they are being taught what to think.
This is why it's so important for everyone to question everything, and not take everything on face value. It always amazes me that while so many people are distrustful of the government (and rightly so), they are willing to accept everything being taught in schools without question.
Power corrupts. There are corrupt politicians, and there are corrupt professors. Make no doubt, this man is corrupt and he is using his power and influence to create a new generation of people who think exactly how he wants them to think, and has the power to enforce this indoctrination by failing students who disagree.
Professors such as this are not uncommon and need to be exposed for the corrupt individuals that they are.
@ RealityChecker...check yourself.
No, one is saying Naomi is a role model. However, why judge Naomi with a different set of standards? Tramps such as
Kim K.(no shame in my game), Paris, Madonna, Britanny, Kate Moss and others get away literally with murder. RealityChecker go sit in your corner and shut the duck up.
@ Sara...you may wish to keep an eye on RealityChecker he is a negative influence.
ann
Thank you Anon, I didn't bother to read, just put him/her through.
Reality checker, I think your only point here is to 'start something', so why don't you just run along now....
Sara here is a light hearted commercial taped in Japan of Beyonce and jlo.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=It-KD_LnutU
a.f.
Hi, Anon. 1:56 here.
I would have said something, but I was too shocked that he'd said that. I also tried to convince myself that he was just talking about societal perceptions of the white woman, especially, to make a point. Though it's pretty clear now that that wasn't the case. Also, I was a little scared. You see, this teacher is a big deal among all the black kids on campus, as he does a lot of recruiting of minority students and runs the BSU. Which of course, just makes the whole incident all the worse. He's even helped me out once when I was in a bind. So, I guess I've been trying to tell myself that this was a fluke and that he's really a nice guy, but everytime I think about that incident, I just can't see how a nice black guy, secure in his interracial marriage could say that. After his speech, he caught a glimpse of the girl's strickent face and tried to cover his ass by saying some unrelated insincere sounding, compulsary fluff about how large black women never had a positive role model to look up to until Queen Lateifah came along. I was just like, um okay what does that have to do with anything else you just said? Especailly since the girl who he was seemingly directing this at isn't "large" by any stretch of the imagination. Ugh, the whole is so messed up. The level of hipocracy amongst black men about IRRs is unreal and very disturbing. I agree with that other anon. poster: it's too much and sometimes I just want to cry and hide, as well.
Mr Reality Checker's "reality checking" can also be seen at the original Mr Crazy's site....you know ..that ole ugly Andrew/Mr Laurelton...
Need we say more?
This "Realtity Checker" person is a troublemaker!
Thing I don't get is why come here?
Why...except to cause trouble?
Anon. 1:56, it is understandable how you reacted. You had a rude awakening when you heard a person you thought had some sense expose his true self. Bitter and sweet waters do not mix. You were also in a situation where confronting could have jeopardized your grades. It would have been one thing if you were dealing with a peer outside of the classroom setting. It is another when your confrontation could dearly cost you. Wisdom is needed when making a decision to confront a 'superior'. His lame response to your friend about large bw revealed that he has bitter water. That is past despicable to me. Hopefully neither of you will have to have him as a teacher after this semester. I would avoid him like the plague. Please let your friend know about this site and others that tell the whole truth about bw and their lives. You will soon learn that the only one that has control over your life is YOU.
Every reasonable person has the right to do what they desire to do in their heart. How that is walked out is up to each person. EVERY WOMAN has the right to live a good, healthy life the way she wants to. EVERY WOMAN deep down that wants a long term relationship with a man wants to be with one that values who she is AS SHE IS where she does not feel she has to hide who she is to be with him. EVERY WOMAN wants a man that cherishes and values her in every way. That is defined by what the man does for her, not commands things from her, and how he treats her while they are alone AND how he is around you with others (especially their families). Nowadays with the Internet it is a lot easier to find bw of like mind that refuse to bow to what many of us have been told by other blacks. Many of us decided long ago (for me a quarter a century) that we will live our lives to the full however we choose to with whoever we choose to do this with regardless of how loud people yell at us. As the years have gone by 'THEY' are realizing that 'THEY' are being ignored left and right. 'THEY' do not like the fact that we will not be controlled by what 'THEY' say or do. If you do this when you are good and old you will really be glad you did. You will also have the opportunity to look at the lives of those that tried to sway you. More than likely your life will be way better in quality than theirs.
I have lived a few years:) I have not met that fellow BUT I WILL. It is pretty interesting to me that I am getting way more looks these days at my age than I did in my 30s. That tells me that it is NEVER too late. I will also say this. As one that has lived single all my days I am so glad that I learned how to size up men before I ended up in a crazy relationship. I have no regrets in my life. I have lived long enough to have them had I made some stupid decisions because someone tried to insist that I get with a bm to 'help a brotha out'. The men I have been around have been good ones but there was not a connection with them. I am not around DBR men of any hue. I make it a point to avoid them like the plague. I cannot even remember the last time I was actually around one. I know probably the last opportunity for that was in 1996. It was long before then.
The only time I hear anything about this madness these days is when I read blogs. I strictly censor media that lies on bw. I think you probably can guess that I rarely watch TV. I have not had cable TV in years. I do not check out videos on YouTube from the idiots that claim to know all about bw. There is no sense in partaking in that type of media that will hurt your view of yourself needlessly because it is a lie. Some may choose to live that way but that is not YOU. The only way I know to avoid that kind of condescension is to stay away from those that will beat you down with your words. Sad to say that may mean leaving alone some friends and family members. Some of them may come around but they may not. To have the life you want to live you MUST ONLY surround yourself with people that will enhance your life in the direction you want to go. That sick mindset is so entrenched in some people that trying to enlighten them is a futile effort. One thing they cannot deny is the fruit of you life as you live it to its fullest. When I cross over I will have no regrets. My best days are ahead. I am preparing to celebrate my 50th in a little over a year. It will be a blast. Maybe I will be on one of these blogs announcing a wedding:) That would be nice.
Anon, you have to say something. Go to the library and pick up the book "Shocked, Appalled, and Dismayed! How to Write Letters of Complaint That Get Results." This book helped change my life in showing me how to complain without seeming like a scary person. Send a note to the dean, telling him you would like to remain anonymous. This will allow you to let it go, because if you don't do anything it will bug you for a loooong time.
As for him making crazy statements, we had a rule in college that you had to back up what you said. A Christian Brother went so far as to tell us, "Don't pull things our your ass." So if he tries pulling something like that in class again, tell him to prove it.
@ Anon. 1:56...plain and simple mr. big shot amongst the blk. students is a ducking hypocrite.
He does not sound very secure. He wants people to believe the way he believes. When or if his marriage hits the "rocks" I suppose he will find some way to blame a bw.
As my grandmother would have said, "He is an educated fool."
I imagine he is telling all the young bm students in private even wrost things about bw...never mind their b/mothers, b/grandmothers, b/sisters, etc. This is just one example of why some young and educated bm are dating out.
ann
Pamela, I too have been there and don't you think it's odd; but, I like it. And, I believe you will find your someone special. Who knows he might be sitting next to you at your local casino joking about the machines. Good Luck.
ann
I have taught in Afro-Am Studies departments, and been around a few others, and I can say in response to Anon and other young college students who might be reading, is that they need to look at these programs (including the BSU) with some critical lenses.
There is nothing wrong with learning about black history and so forth, but in many instances, these types of programs do nothing more than indoctrinate vulnerable young black students (and increasingly larger numbers of young black women, since there are more of them in college now) into damaging black community mindsets that are spewed by the black men who run these programs and departments as their fiefdoms.
I have seen what Anon. described time and time again. Mr. Black Nationalist, "my brother this, my brother that...," it is all about supporting black male privilege. That is what the Movement was about, getting him to where he wanted to be, in competition with "the Man," and what better way to do that than to get the man's woman?
Being with a black woman does not get him there. A black woman might make him think about what she needs and wants, and for men like that, black women are competition. If she needs or wants something, he might get less. Becky, in turn, gives him much: access to her white privilege.
The ones like these, if they are not dating and marrying white women, they are busy ignoring the black women on the campus while fulfilling Becky's fantasies of being with a black man, and fighting with the black women academics who want to bring some discussion of gender into discussions of race.
They want to ignore discussions of gender, because that would put a spotlight onto their sexism...and prove their black nationalism is not about uplifting black women. It is about themselves only.
wow PVW, You are so deep and thought provoking! That was a great summation, and really cleared up alot of things.....
PVW said..."Becky, in turn, gives him much: access to her white privilege"
but does it really? ive never seen this happen unless the guy was already established. And even if no one cared. these days they look more pathetic w/ these women. take for instance at my school. i saw a guy ready to be dumped by his hispanic gf. the man looked like he just lost his car. he was literally begging her back and she just seemed annoyed. they're still together but my guess is that she's w/ him for pity sake. another one i can think of is the football player who is dating kim karshian(sp). im thinking this girl did a sex video w/ ray j and hordes herself around. you would have never seen him w/ Lil' Kim yet this man plans to marry this girl. this girl has given all the signs that she's into partying and not settling down. everytime i see a pic of them together he looks like he's just trailing along so desperately. while she's just smiling and laughing and having the time of her life.
these hypocritical dudes can go. let these women take care of them and have their babies. they'll finally understand what we were going through, but i won't give a damn to care. let them hear them wine and cry about the wm and the gov't.
I'm evil. That professor would be on my ish list. I'd find out if he has a history of making denigrating remarks about and towards bw students. And yes, the dean would get a letter of complaint, and possibly a list of signatures.
Trust me on this one: I have had experience getting a college professor fired. He earned it.
If it wasn't too late, I'd pull out of the class, and suggest others do the same. Don't classes survive based on student enrollment?
Nothing gets me madder than this kind of thing. BW are so vulnerable in college, it's just about the most depressing time of your life.
It shouldn't be.
I see plain and even unattractive biracial children everyday. color does not make a child pretty!
anon 1:56 -"the cute grin she always wears disappeared and you could actually see the light go out in her eyes. Honey child was CRUSHED.--as where other black girls in the class I'm sure. It got to me too, but I knew better than to believe it."
--------------
This was emotional assault by a so-called professional and should be reported or the indoctrination will continue with the next class. This sounds like part of his ongoing curriculum.
anon 1:56...he is an idea.
Print all our comments and send it to his campus and or email box. I know he probably could careless; but, he will know that he can be reported.
Is there a GSA? By pass the BSU since they may side with him. I am sure there are other race students who would also be offended by his comments. Get other bw to back you up. You could ask them to address your complaint.
lois
I am one of the people who had no idea there were so many BW/WM celebrity couples until I found your and Evia's sites, Sara. I do agree that the media downplays those relationships. Why wasn't Garcelle's husband with her when she did that magazine cover with her kids?
Hi Alta,
I will tell you why her husband was not with her on the cover. Because the mag did not want him on the cover! They felt it would offend bm. See in those enclaves, a bm's feelings seem to take precedence over everything. Never mind that they shove pictures of bm with ww down bw's thoats every chance they get. And I actually have no problem with bm/ww couples. Get love wherever you find it. I simply want the same rights for bw!
Maybe, next time Garcelle and other bw celebs will insist on their spouses being included on the magazine's cover.
Years past and even today bm celebs are not feature with their other race wives because blk. magazines do not want to upset anyone.
IMO, bw should be aware of the fact that many bm celebs perfer to date other race women.
So, bw stop sitting around waiting for bm because they take full advantage of their options.
a.f.
Pioneer Valley Woman: I have seen what Anon. described time and time again. Mr. Black Nationalist, "my brother this, my brother that...," it is all about supporting black male privilege. That is what the Movement was about, getting him to where he wanted to be, in competition with "the Man," and what better way to do that than to get the man's woman?
Being with a black woman does not get him there. A black woman might make him think about what she needs and wants, and for men like that, black women are competition. If she needs or wants something, he might get less. Becky, in turn, gives him much: access to her white privilege.
The ones like these, if they are not dating and marrying white women, they are busy ignoring the black women on the campus while fulfilling Becky's fantasies of being with a black man, and fighting with the black women academics who want to bring some discussion of gender into discussions of race.
They want to ignore discussions of gender, because that would put a spotlight onto their sexism...and prove their black nationalism is not about uplifting black women. It is about themselves only.
Oh my gosh PVW you hit the nail right on the head. you are only preching in your comment above what I have been hearing for years and seeing with my own two eyes.
But when black women only see black male protectionism as the only worthy thing going on in their lives, that will definitely keep them from waking up and seeing this truth before them.
Because the nationalistic black men, professors or not, are not hidden and do not hide their true natures at all really, or at least not very well!
You guys spend TOO much time overanalyzing white women and black men!!!
@ anon. 3:40 p.m.
Someone asked a question about her biased professor and we answered her question. Do you have any appropriate questions or answers?
a.f.
Anon @ 3:40 pm on 4 December, maybe that is because everyone is ALWAYS shoving your precious white women and black men down our throats and acting like they are both so perfect and can do no wrong. These blogs are for BLACK WOMEN, and if you don't like it, well nobody is forcing you to read them. There are too many sites on the internet worshipping your precious white women and black men, so why don't you go and spend your time at those stupid places? Leave sistas ALONE in peace already! We DON'T want to hear your garbage anymore!
Hi, I really need to put this out there so I'm just posting it everywhere I can:
It's actually sort of a myth that, at least in the Antebellum South, slave men were frequently executed because of accusations of rape by white women. The conviction of rape(which was the only way a slave could even face the threat of execution) by a slave really only caused tremors if the white woman (or girl) involved was wealthy or least not poor.You see, social-economic status has always been prone to overrule all other considerations in this country. Poor white women, and to some extent,girls, were not seen as being "pure" and when they accused any man or boy of rape they often not believed and faced very difficult cross examinations in the court room if it went that far. I think girls could have it easier if their youth was taken into account. There's been a book written on the subject called "Rape and Race in the 19th Century South." I'm not sure how black on white rape was actually perceived after Antebellum era, though. Maybe closer to the stereotype? Also, sexual relations between white men and black women could be argued to be the greater two taboos, considering the history of such. It's just that black women have always been stereotype as amorous Jezebels who welcome all types of sexual relations (even from a young age and I mean childhood, here!). This image of black women was used to belie the fact that black women (and even girls) could actually be raped, much in the same way that the image of black women as "mammy" was used to belie the fact that white men can consider black women sexually attractive. Of course both propaganda images are false and exist in large (majority?)part to serve the purposes I just listed. Black women were considered at the very bottom (and I mean dead last) ring of society, while white men were at the top. For them to "mix" has long been seen as unthinkable. Indeed, all the anti-miscegenation laws were put in place to control/ limit (it couldn't be destroyed) sexual relations between white men and black women, not the other way around. The taboo of black men having relations with white women is merely a proxy or by product of the animosity toward relations between black women and white men. Why? Because at the end of the day, black men are still men, and therein, their place is, unfortunately, higher in our society and they have always been able to do whatever the fvck they want, whenever the fvck they want. Just look at how America's deep rooted misogyny reared its ugly head when Obama was facing Hillary Clinton... Take away this: social-economic status and gender are always the deciding factors when questions of worth, desirability, and due earnings arise.
Anon, it sounds to me like you are trying to make Black men and White women the inoccent little hardest hit, and only victims of the slavery era at the expense of Black women. Gee, how original. Your post is very disrespectful to Black women, as well as to White men.
@anon. 3:15pm:
Sister girl, no!--that's the exact opposite of what I'm saying! Please re-read my post. What I'm getting at is that, and let's be honest here, white women and black men get off, so to speak, on the supposed history that during slavery their "love" was forbidden. They use this as a crutch, a way to garner sympathy, a way to be a "rebel," and a way to imply that their union is so special and so perfect that people, especially white men (and now black women), have and will continue to do anything to try and stop them from being together. What I'm contending is that in reality it's exactly opposite of this and that it is really black women joined with white men that society hates to see. Now, I don't want bw/wm to become like ww/bm in that they exploit their histories as a way to act special, I just want to set the record straight on a few things and start a dialog about this subject. Like I said, the animosity toward black men with white women is really just, from where I see it, a scapegoat for society's much stronger hate for white men to pair with black women. Especially beautiful, well behaved black women who can so obviously never live up to the images of the malicious smear campaigns which were launched on us oh so many centuries ago. They're too scared to scorn white men for IRRs, so they scorn white women, an easier target.—when not promoting IRRs involving ww, of course. Also, I think many white men have a tortured, love-hate relationship with their status in our society: on the one hand they love the power that their ancestors have [wrongfully] afforded them with our current social hierarchy, yet, on the other they despise both because they see how the system has trapped them.—they aren’t always free to be with who they love out of fear of upsetting the system which gives them and their race control. And I honestly think that this hurts them, in a very real, cutting sort of way, and that it has bred a lot of anger among white men. Interestingly, the anger only makes them support the system even more, not destroy it…power is a very hard thing to let go of. So, they stay back, they look at you from afar, sneak around your bed, and lie if anyone asks if they like you. Back in the days of slavery and up until the 1960s, they utilized coercion and outright rape to fulfill their desires. Largely unable to get away with these tactics now, they stay in the shadows with their white women, clinging on to a privilege that isn’t really their own. I don’t write these things to be mean and actually wouldn’t mind for the father of my own children to be a handsome white man. I mean, I read this blog, don’t I?! But sometimes white men and their complexes and the things they let white women get away with just pisses me the fvck off.
Anon/who posted the comment above,
I TOTALLY AGREE with your analysis of the dynamics of BW/WM IRR's and why so many people in American society have a problem with WM seriously dating and/or marrying BW. I hope to continue seeing a change in these attitudes as WM become more courageous and start pursuing and establishing MORE SERIOUS DATING AND/OR MARRIAGE relationships with BW REGARDLESS OF WHAT ANYONE THINKS.
Anon 10:43 who are you to judge her on what she reads. Just because someone reads something someone says doesn't mean you totally agree with it. Intelligent because are able to distingish between their own ideas. You do know this right?
I have experienced ww in bm ww relationships who acted racist or uppity towards bw. This is what leads me to believe that there are still a lot of racist, narrow-minded ww out there who get with bm out of rebelliousness towards society but yet maintain their prejudiced and 'uppity' attitudes towards bw...very freakin sad.
I love your blog -- black women and white men. yum
Hi, first I just want to start off by saying thank you for this blog. I've never realized that such a world of bw/wm couples existed. I'm 18 live in a small town, but very diverse town. I've been exposed to interracial couples, but mostly bm/ww in my life and even on TV. Though I am attracted to wm I've never dated one. This blog gave me the little confidence boost I needed!!!
Hey there,
Just showing my love for this blog as a young bw married to a wm.
Never before had I seen as many images of IR couples with the bw/wm ratio until now on this site.
Thanks so much, it has taken months of searaching to finally find that im not alone and it has made my day :D
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