2 Examples of women who were looking for a certain type of man, and found exactly what they wanted-and married him...
Finding him is knowing what you are looking for!
Many women cannot seem to find their ideal man. But if you ask them what he is like, or for some kind of physical description of him, and they cannot tell you. Let me tell you ladies a secret. You get and move toward what you focus on! You do not have to take my word for this. I want you to give it a try. Pick something for the next 5 days. Anything. Lets say you pick Nissan sentra cars in a certain color. I want you to write down how many you see in the next 5 days. You are going to be amazed at how many you suddenly see. Where did they come from? The fact is they were there all along, but you had not ordered your subconscious to notice them.
Once you do this experiment, and prove to yourself we get what we focus on, I want you do it for the ideal man that you are looking for. I want you to make a man plan. What this is, is simply a list of qualities that your ideal man would possess along with a vague physical description. The reason the physical description is hazy, is because his looks are secondary. The main thing is the find the man with the qualities, you seek. Following is a brief example. This plan has worked for thousands of women. (I did not invent it-I found out it's been used for a long while)
Let's say this is Betty's plan:
Man plan (Date)
My ideal man is 5.7-5.9 and has dark hair. He is attractive, but no Gerard Butler. His most prominent feature, is his scintillating personality. He makes over 60k per year, and enjoys his work. He is a physical worker, and enjoys working hard, and playing hard. He enjoys taking me out and having family get togethers at home. He is loving, kind, devoted and a great father. He is humorous and generous, and loves children (even if they are not biologically his) The most important personality trait, I am looking for is that he is an optimist and sees the world as a happy place. I have physical disabilities, so he needs to be very patient, kind, and compassionate. etc.
This is just an example of Betty's plan. This really does work! But you must write it, and you must use it. How do you use it? You eliminate the men who don't match it. Don't eliminate him if he does not match the physical, that's not so important. Only eliminate him if he differs greatly from the fundamental qualities you are looking for. Everyday spend 15 minutes 3x per day just visualizing how happy you will be with him and how much he will add to your life. Really get into your visualization. See it, feel it, almost smell his Cologne. There is power in clarity. Knowing what you want is the absolutely easiest way in the world to find it! Know what kind of work (or type) he'll do, his fitness level, his income level, his parenting skills, his devotion levels etc. Write down what you want, VISUALIZE it, and then get out there and start meeting people. I guarantee he will not be knocking on your door. You are going to have to go out and find him! Now if you look like Beyonce or Angelina, hey-he might just come to your door. But if you are like me, Pretty, but not movie-star beautiful, you are going to have to go out and find him. Go to places you usually don't go. Like hockey games, golf places, auto shows and games. Someone told me that she went to a tennis game, and every bw there was with a wm! That sounds like an ideal place to me. Listen every town has a diner or two where the police, parole officers, and fire men go for lunch-find it!
Last year, coming back from AC, my sister and I stumbled on a quiet little diner that was filled with state trooper cars. We thought they'd had some kind of emergency. We almost left but no one was coming out, so we tentatively went in. Sure enough, it was filled with happily eating, tall, handsome, white, state troopers! I went back to town( this was right outside of town) and told every single woman I knew who was looking for a man. 3 women I know so far have gone and found husbands just by having lunch at that diner everyday, until they found the man they were looking for! Every woman can do this. There are places where the men congregate and you can do a little research and find them. Use your man plan, concentrate on what you are looking for, VISUALIZE, and find HIM!........
And then write and tell us all about it..... Thank y'all for tuning in -see you next post.... Read New Story!! The girls of Hollingsworth in:
White chocolate preferred
20 comments:
Interesting, I have done and still do this plan (vision) with education, work, weight maintenance, shopping etc..., except for a mate. And it does work!
Go figure?
This is a good idea. As long as people don't go overboard with it. If you get too detailed with the list, you could eliminate some good possobilities for mates. I'm not saying that you have to sell yourself short, but your soulmate is often not who you envision yourself with at first. There is no such thing as a "perfect" man or woman. The list should be used as a guide but not an absolute checklist.
I do agree with going to different places to meet people. If you're not finding "the one" with what your doing or where you're going, change your people, places, and things. If nothing changes, nothing changes.
HBK
You know what? I find it so interesting that you write this. Just a few days ago I was with my mother driving thru a very prestigious place in my state, and I made her show me where they have been building the Trump Towers (seems to me like a miniature version but the price is way above miniature!!!!). After driving past it I told my mother that a lot of women are going to be husband-hunting over there. She laughed and said that that was actually a good thing. If you want a certain type of man, you should be often near where those types are most likely to be. Ha ha! But that’s how it is in other things to. If you want to be around certain types of people then you should place yourself in places that those types of people are likely to be. That’s using a bit of wisdom.
Energize I agree with you. Esp. with my weight loss goal, I am CONSTANTLY losing the lbs. since I can see myself back at my fitness physique. I """will""" be there this Spring to late Spring.
As far as the mate is concerned I am working on that, I am even right now saving websites for some new clothing items for this winter and the coming year so that I am prepared when I """""DO""""" GET some dates. Now is the best time to shop for closeouts and clearance sales.
The excitment is in the air.
@ sara...you are simply amzaing.
@ energize...with all that you have going for yourself a man would be foolish to pass you by.
@velvet queen...tell your gf about your idea.
@ phantom mare...Great job
Now, my turn. Ladies...I am having a hard time focusing on my weight loss so what do you all think is the best way for me to stay focus?
Ann
Simple and straight to the point! This is a wonderful technique to achieve almost any goal...BTW...Love, LOVE, LOVING all the new pics!~
Very excellent point! Environment is very important! Love your blog aside from the political stuff. (smile).
After my divorce, I had no idea what kind of man I wanted, if I decided to marry again. I thought I had the "ideal", no, I knew I had the "Ideal" man...for me! So when I'm looking at being single again, I suddenly had to revamp my "list" I had no idea what it entailed.
A few months ago, suddenly, I made a list out of the blue. It was everything I actually wanted in a partner, friend, life-mate, man.
Although I am not looking, since I'm too busy putting all my puzzle pieces in place and taking care of my children, I look at that list and feel confident that this "ideal" man is my future. Skin shade/culture is not relevant.
The Law of Attraction is a known fact!!! I've experienced it first hand throughout my life, so I know it is possible to find "him" when I'm ready.
For more proof as to the existence of the Law of Attraction..
Think of "crackhead love"...ever notice how two crackheads always seem to hook up..and their love is STRONG too...lol
Think Amy Winehouse and Blaaaaaaakkkee (incarcerated)...
that is the law of attraction acting in a negative form...so alwyas think in the positive..
Seems easy right?..it is NOT that easy to do...you have to train for it..like a marathon, and continually remind yourself to think in a certain way.
Ann,
Remember this: It takes 21 days to learn a habit. See it like this: When you exercise, you will release endorphins,the feel good hormone, into your body, this is what gives you that sunny mood. AND it is what helps give you confidence and walk with a pep in your step. In others words, you will feel sexier, as well as lose the pounds. Hey, that'll keep me going.
Try adding Extra Virgin Coconut Oil and 2 tablesp. of cayenne pepper to your diet. You can spread it out over the day with the use of Cayenne. I personally like to drink it in herbal teas since red pepper is known to open up your blood vessels and allow the herbal drink to take effect better. Both Pure unrefined Coconut Oil and Cayenne will helps burn fat seriously and your appetite will decrease some.
And also say you WILL lose the weight. Have an end goal in mind but it is good to say for example, make smaller goals, such as 5 lb. increments- this is what I do. So it is a victory each time I hit the 5 lb mark. And not sighing every time I hadn't gotten to the end goal yet. When you do this, you will feel better about accomplishing those set goals. :o))
tigasinamon...The Law of Attraction is a known fact!!! I've experienced it first hand throughout my life, so I know it is possible to find "him" when I'm ready.
____________
Excellent point.
Thanks Ann!
Sara has such an intelligent and uplifting audience.
I am fully commited to a life of quality first. Even to the point of the food I feed my body. If I need chocolates, I buy the best:}
That might mean singleness for a while, oh well. I also know there is nothing worse than being in a relationship all by yourself.
I made my man plan. Boy, was that a struggle. My main focus was on character. No race mentioned, only physical part was height req.
I wonder if Michelle O had a man plan? Because Mr.O sure was attracted to her.
This post is so true. WHen I was in college there were usually two types of parties: the dance parties and the stand around talking, listening to music and drinking parties. Most of the black guys and girls went to the dance parties and the white guys and girls usually went to the music/drinking parties. Well since I am attracted to white guys there was no point in my going to the dance parties. I went to the music/drinking parties. I didn't drink though b/c I like to keep control in such situations. Anyway, I got asked out plenty of times at those parties b/c I was where the guys I wanted to go out with were. I was in the right place. Now if I had been spending my time at the dance parties b/c the BC said I should then I would not have been available to get asked out by the type of men I wanted to ask me out. I got alot of flak for not going to the black parties but I didn't want to date the guys at those parties. Needless to say, I got a lot of flak for dating white guys as well, but I didn't care. I was happy with what I was doing.
Great post, Sara!!!
I absolutely agree with Anon @ 11:15am. If you know something you want, go to places where you're more likely to find them.
Your post is so true, Sara! However, even Angelina and Beyonce had to leave the house in order to get what the life they wanted. I don't care what you look like, opportunity for a great life doesn't come to anyone sitting at home.
jazine, right on! You've got to put yourself out there in order to be seen. My problem is I'm always attracting those I'm not interested in. I'm on several internet dating sites and specfied for Asian men because that's who I want. I've had at least 50 messages since I joined 3 days ago(no joke) from white men and 2 from blacks. NONE from Asians! (go figure). I don't do old men so I stated I didn't want anyone over 40 and yet, 62 year olds e-mail me.
I'm putting this new technique into effect TODAY! lol
Yes, I am working on my list now. I seem to be other men's dreams, but they are not mine. I am definitely wanting that fitness level listing in there.
The guys whom I attract aren't there. And I am Not going into a relationship hoping he'll change.
So since I work oh so hard at work, NOT! I am sitting here working on my list.
Thanks
You know I re-read the sample description. I realize I must put in humor style.
I am on an online dating website and you can state the type of humor you have. I find myself avoiding the guys who have selected "Dennis Miller is a cream puff compared to me" for sarcasm.
I get hurt too easily and I don't want some guy always saying crap to hurt me in the name of fun. I do know we can all say something stupid to offend the other person, but I figure play it safe.
Didn't think about that until now.
"My problem is I'm always attracting those I'm not interested in. I'm on several internet dating sites and specfied for Asian men because that's who I want. I've had at least 50 messages since I joined 3 days ago(no joke) from white men and 2 from blacks. NONE from Asians! (go figure). I don't do old men so I stated I didn't want anyone over 40 and yet, 62 year olds e-mail me."
Ah, the Web site illiterate guys. They are a huge pain in the butt. During the few times I've had online ads where I gave an age limit and distance limit, guys out of the age and distance limit would reply regardless. I had one fool proudly say he "ain't" paid his bills and was looking for a woman who couldn't count. I can't believe he thought this would fly with me. I can't remember exactly how I responded, but I surely told him I was too smart for that mess and put him on block. I eventually deleted the ad because I got tired of the wrong guys messaging me.
This post is so apropos to me. I watched "The Secret" online today and the message of pretty much getting what you put out (i.e., positive energy) rang a nerve with me. I come off as depressed and defeatist because I'm always dealing with things, which is probably why only scrubs on the street approach me (and guys with stuff going on for themselves avoid me). If I carry myself more positively then maybe I'll attract better people and other positive things. It's easier said than done to undo nearly 30 years of negative thinking.
And I do have an ideal man in mind: Tall (6'2''), tan skin, curly dark hair, some freckles, muscular, very sweet and giving, likes to make people happy...
While I don't subscribe to "The Secret", I do believe that writing down your goals and dreams has a profound effect on your ability to achieve them. I made a list. My list of what I wanted was very personal and based on things I had learned in my failed marriage. I knew what I wanted, personality and traits. Looks were not overly important, but I wanted someone I would be attracted to.
I found him. Or better, he found me. We have been together 2 years.
Call it what you will, but knowing what you want and what you don't want....and focusing on that will have results.
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