Why all the controversy over the new Top Model???

Allison and Aminat (together) Aminat came in 3rd, Allison came in 2nd...

Teyona, the winner for Cycle 12, as you can see, she is very pretty, and quite photogenic....

This is really a ladies discussion, but you men are welcome to chime in if you want to....
I came upon this discussion on another site, and I admit I was floored! I remember how HP used to always talk about how very racist ww were and how they refused to let any woman of color have the spotlight-as well as how they would work to retain a pedestal, they claimed not to have.

Many times I have seen exactly what he was talking about, but rarely is it this blatant. For those of you who do not watch, Tyra crowned Teyona the newest top model. Teyona is, as you can see an attractive young woman with much on the ball. Now keep in mind all through the season, Teyona had very strong pictures, and proved herself to be very ambitious and hardworking. I don't believe she was ever in the bottom two. Aminat, who came in third, had a fabulous body, as Tyra kept pointing out, but her pictures were lukewarm. So despite a strong showing in the commercial, she was eliminated. The third contestant of the top 3 was a small, waif looking wg. She was very sweet with big doe eyes, and a gentle nature. However, although she did well toward the end, the judges complained that many of her pics had little variety, and she was chosen as 2nd runner up. Well need I say all hell broke free! WW were up in arms saying that Tyra only chose Teyona because she was black! They are truly livid! They are saying things such as how can a blk girl beat out all those wgs? -WTH!- They are calling for a recount, and calling Tyra racist! They are talking about banning the show, and emailing in complaints en masse!
I just have a little question. How come when Nicole (almost eliminated twice- wg) beat out Nic (who was blk and far more exotic looking ) how come they didn't come out en masse then and raise hell? How come when Yoanna -super bitch-let me spend all day talking about ppl-ww) beat out beautiful biracial Mercedes, (who outlooked her, out stomped her, and out pictured her constantly)- how come they didn't stampede and email complaints en masse then? They actually had the nerve to be saying things like "That's the 4th time a bg beat out a wg for the title! " Hello, Alot of ppl were unhappy with last season's winner, but because she was white, there didn't seem to be much controversy at all. I was unhappy with the plus sized winner because I felt like she really proved herself to be a very nasty person. I thought she was really pretty, but butt ugly on the inside. I remember watching her mess with the biracial girl as she tried to sleep. She and the two other ww sat beside her bed and talked about her like a dog. When the girl asked them to go away, they laughed, and grew more vicious in their taunts. Yet this is the exact type of behavior Tyra is quick to send the bgs home for. (Monique, Camilla, or the red headed bg anyone?) Yet this wg won after repeatedly acting like a class A bitch almost the entire time. Personally, I feel like if Tyra has displayed any favoritism, it has been directed to the wgs-not the blk ones. But I understand she is doing everything in her power not to be labeled unfair. Heaven forbid, a bw display favoritism toward other bw -even though we have ww like the former editor of Cosmopolitan blatantly, and proudly stating that as long as she was editor and chief -no black woman would ever be on the cover of Cosmo! You see it seems it's ok for a ww to blatantly be for ww, but how dare a woman of color ever dare try to help another WOC! Did anyone besides me notice how twiggy (when she was on) would fight tooth and nail for the wg's while simultaneously throwing the girls of color under the bus? It got to be so blatant, I almost stopped watching. It was so funny to me listening to them rant angrily about why didn't Cecelia win or why didn't Alison win? They are truly furious because they seem to feel EVERYTHING should be for WW! What I want to know first of all is, why was Cecelia even there??? They (WW) were going on about how gorgeous she was, and how gorgeous Alison was, but (not to be cruel) I thought Cecelia was one of the most unattractive models I've seen in a long time, and I thought Allison was only cute. Am I imagining things, or is anything white and female instantly transported to the higher echelon of beautiful, stunning, breath taking, etc. Now to be fair, I didn't find the last two remaining bg's beautiful either. Neither one of them was Gabriel, Beyonce, Megan Good or the like, but I thought the top 3 were attractive. Teyona, I thought was pretty, with Allison, and Aminat being cute. I do remember a cycle of Top model where ALL the bgs were gorgeous Evia, Yaya, Tocarra, and Kelly, this cycle was not like that. but like I said, I thought the top 3 were all attractive, not beautiful (just my opinion-if you disagree-that's cool) It's just the way they raved over how beautiful Alison was, and how beautiful Ceceila was, and I was like, was I watching the same show?? I really feel like they're calling these (I cute, I unattractive ) women beautiful because they are white, and I take issue with that, as well as them acting like how dare Tyra pick the one she chose instead of the one WW WANTED! I take issue with that as well. Has she not been in the business for years? Is it not HER show? Is it not her company? Then somebody please explain to me why it would not ultimately be HER DECISION??? Below is a sample of the site -along with site information....Tell me what you think.....
Some comments (mostly ww)
I knew Allison at LSU, but with that bias aside, she should have won.

i wanted celia or allison to win they were so good

CHARLENE OKAY PEOPLE SAY THEY WERE SURPRISE TEYONE WON? HOW THEY WERE PUSHING HER THIS WHOLE ENTIRE SEASON AND AMINAT WAS TYRA'S FAVORITE THAT'S HOW SHE GOT THAT FAR BECAUSE HER PHOTOS ALWAYS SUCKED BUT THEY KEPT HER THERE WEEK AFTER WEEK. I WAS PUSHING FOR ALLISON I THOUGHT SHE HAD AN AMAZING FACE AND A PERSONALITY THAT ANYONE COULD FALL IN LOVE WITH. SHE ALREADY AS TWO MANAGEMENT OFFERS SO IM NOT WORRIED ABOUT HER WELL GOOD LUCK TO ALL THREE. I AM ALSO HAPPY THEY SAID PAULINA WAS FUNNY AND COOL AND NOT EGOTISTICAL BECAUSE THERE IS ONLY PERSON ON THAT SHOW WITH AN EGO HAPPENS TO BE ONE OF MY FAVORITE CELEBRITIES MS. TYRA BANKS I LOVE YOU BUT YOUR * ONCE THERE WAS A SUPERMODEL WHO PULLED OUT HER RULE TO OWNING YOU INNER FIERCENESS? COME ON ON TYRA...

I am disappointed that Allison didn't win, but I thought long ago that they were pushing Teyona, so it wasn't really a big surprise. I liked Aminat, but Allison should have won over Teyona.

Paulina getting fired was a shocker, why did they do it? She had a nice vibe. This is just like last season with McKey winning. Second year in a row that the cute perky blond girl came in second.

It is about the pictures, and not the personality for selling Cover Girl.
I really wanted Allison to win....she seems the most genuine out of the 3 and had a more unique look.
Allison should have won!!!! It is obvious that Teyona and Aminat were Tyra's favorites, Allison had way better pictures the whole time and did way better on the runway during the last show. Sooo unfair, but at the same time expected from Tyra Banks. i'll tell u all why Allison did not win, cause Tyra's racist. Even my husband could tll and he's a man. The reason why they fired Paulina was because she was pushing more towards Allison, tyra is the one behind this, I know. Have u all noticed that all the women judges change every other year and the men stay the same??? Tyra must have some ego...and attitude problems..racist, she always picks her kind.

I agree that tyra showed favoritism for the Black females, and im not even white or black. im Hispanic. But it showed. the one thing people here havent mentioned is that when the show was at its climax, Allison won the runway, and she also won in what they were saying about the pics. so how does Tyra have the nerve to say * WE" have come to a decision. I bet thats why Paulina got fired. lol I don't know how Allison didn't win. The judges all had more positive things to say about her and her pictures and she did a way better job on the runway. Tyra called Teyona a robot on the runway!! I think Allison has come along way in this show and should have come out the winner. I hope she signs with a modeling company and goes far!!!

We will see Allison again not sure if we will see Teyona in another year.

sarah Thu,-I'm totally disagreeing with Teyona winning!

Allison should have won!She's far more exotic.

TO NUMBER 14 Thu, May 14, 2009, 5:22 PM TO NUMBER 14 Thu, May 14, 2009, 5:23 PM MAY I REMIND YOU THAT WHITNEY DID NOT DESERVE TO WIN CYCLE 10 BUT SHE DID BECAUSE TYRA WAS PUSHING FOR A PLUS SIZE GIRL WHO SHE REALLY LIKED(WHITNEY WAS HER FAVORITE

mer Thu, May -I loved Allison. I thought she had such a sweet personality and her photos were great. She improved so much from the beginning of the show! Good Luck Allison! Silver

Thu-ugh i wanted Allison to win DISAPOINTED in the judges

lea Thu-alison should of won!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1 26.wiz Thu,-ALLISON IS SO MUCH BETTER

whocares Thu, -This show was rigged from the beginning and you knew it. I am not saying Teyona was not good. But Allison rocked that runway and they did nto excpet that. And this is the first season that I noticed how biased Tyra was. I loved when Eva wont she deserved it. But this time Tyra was wrong.

jacki Thu, May -BOYCOTT ANTM! It's never been more obvious that this show is RIGGED. Allison was the obvious win, I'm not wasting more time watching that crud!! CJ Thu, May 14,

2009, 5:38 PM I'm amused that people are calling Tyra racist seeing as more than half of the winners of ANTM have been white XD Good fail...sure she's a b**** but that's hilarious xD Anyway, I'm depressed Allison lost but kudos to them all! 30.un-photogenic -I soooooo think Allison should have won! She is the prettiest girl I've ever seen and her photos were....I'm speechless. teyona's photos were just average. Well, best of luck to Allison and I hope she makes it HUGE! I'd also like to say that over anyone i've met you have the least reason to be self concious! So live long and prosperous! (wow I'm such a dork)

Josh Thu, May 14- Allison should have one! I screamed when Tyra didn't call her up!

tyne Thu, May 14-Allison should have won the title. She's genuine, beautiful, loyal, not into herself, composed herself professional...I'm truley upset she did not win as she deserved it!!! deana
Thu, May -i wanted allison to win for sure. she is way prettier and i liked her pictures more. i though aminat should have went home a looong time ago her pictures were not great at all. she looked like danielle that won a few seasons ago except she didnt deliver in her pictures like dani. i hope allison gets a modeling job because she deserves it! WTF

Thu, May 14-Those idiots who are pulling the race card a stupid.Just because a black girl won doesnt mean she doesnt desrve it and that she didnt work hard.If you people watched the whole season like i did, you would see through out the whole season allison did bad, she kept giving the same facials exspresisions.Its only the last 4 episodes when she stepped it up.Celia and teyona were the front runners for the whole season, and one of them oviously teyna had to win.This racist thing is dumb, because im pretty sure,if tyra was white, and she picked allison then its all good with you, but now that she picked a black girl your ******* wtf, any ways, i watched the whole season, and teyona honestly did very well allison did well in photos not so much in runways and photoshoots.Stop hating on the girl, she honestly beat allison fair and square. smore

Thu, -The thing that annoyed me the most was how Tyra kept disagreeing with Nigel * Paulina on how pictures looked. For a lot of the pics, Paulina * Nigel would say it was OK while Tyra would rant on how amazing it was. Remember the pic that Tyra shot? Paulina * Nigel HATED it but Tyra kept saying how beautiful it was. It's becoming clearer that the show is just a way she promotes her own personal agenda. She found plus-size models, African American, and mixed-race models. The show kept trying to push Teyona as a fan favorite so we'd all be happy when she won, but everyone loved Allison. I also don't get why they kept saying Aminat was so beautiful, she looks so plain compared to Teyona and Allison. ravana

Thu,-Did anyone else notice that from the beginning of the final stage of competition they only really followed what Teyona was saying. They would always point the camera at her, not Allison, and at one point she was standing right there and Mr. Jay was talking to them bothj. It becomes pretty obvious who the winner is gonna be if you focus almost the entire hour on that person. I don't really care who won, but I have and always will be an Allison fan!! joy

Thu, May-i also thought allison should've won... she's more internationational looking than the others. i will not be surprised if i see her photographs in well known fashion magazines... Caila

Thu, -Allison should have won! I cried when she didn't! She was gorgeous in a weird way, which was why I really wanted her to win. go allison

Thu, -when tyra said that allison and teyona were neck to neck on the competition...all i said what wtf are you talking about? clearly allison is 100 steps ahead of teyona *** horrible season winner.

Noelle Thu,-I wanted Allison to win and think she was the most deserving. But I knew Teyona would win, you could tell Tyra favored her from early on. meg

Thu, -whoa...this is like the fourth season that a black girl and white girl have made it to the finals, and the black girl won... examples: neyema and kaylen, danielle and joanie, siliesha and chantal, and now teyona over allison. i agree with everyone here, tyra plays favorites in every season, often choosing a black girl over an obviously more talented white girl. i'm not necessarily.....

It goes on and on like this (blatant racism) Now tell me if the bg is BETTER-why shouldn't she win? The last poster seems indignant that Tyra would have the nerve to choose a bg over a wg under ANY circumstance!!! Now this is just a sample, but did yall hear how they kept raving over how beautiful this little wg was? How many of yall thought she was so outstandingly beautiful? Lets keep it real. I thought Teyona was more attractive than her, but that's not why she won (I don't think) I just felt that Teyona really, really wanted it! Ppl tend to get the things they really really want, because they work extra hard for them. I really feel like more and more ww show their racism, yet are given a pass for it. No one seems to want to call them on it. This is why I loved HP's blog so much. He was never afraid to call them on it....

Protect your children-or stop having them!

This is exactly the kind of story I hate to have to report....

Take a look at the face of this beautiful perfect baby. He was recently murdered by his 17 year old mother's boyfriend. Apparently the young lady had an altercation with her severely damaged, evil, predatory boyfriend (22 yr old monster) who assaulted her and her 3 month old baby at her apartment. He actually slammed the poor baby onto the concrete! The police were called by the mother, but by the time they located this monster, he had thrown this precious baby on the expressway from a moving car! The baby (Emanuel Wesley Murray) did not survive.

It's beyond sad, how horribly these damaged pieces of dog feces calling themselves men, will prey on the most innocent, and vulnerable victims. When I read the original story I sat down and cried. We IR bloggers warn women all the time about letting any old man in their lives, and that they must be vigilant, and carefully vet any man they allow into their vicinity. But it seems the young are the hardest to reach. I don't even understand how a 17 year old was living on her own in her own apartment! Who the hell allows a 17 yr. old baby, to have a Baby and live ALONE!

I keep thinking, where was her mother? Where was the baby's father? Why was no one protecting him??? Do these young girls really think that damaged men who will abandon their own children won't hesitate to harm, main, or kill offspring that isn't even theirs? My heart goes out to this precious child, and the fact that he looks just like my four month old nephew just makes it so much worse!
Women for God's sakes- if you are too stupid to protect yourself, and you choose to get involved with these damaged, parasitic, morally bankrupt, monsters- At least have the compassion to give your child to someone who'll love and take care of him!! IOWS, Don't keep your child, you have at this point, proven yourself UNFIT to be a mother-give him/her to someone with more sense, logic, and compassion than you...

Don't have children if you plan to procreate with monsters, who will only prey on them!
Don't keep children that you plan to let other monsters, father! (Monsters make horrible fathers, and often kill or abuse the offspring that was NOT sired by them)

I'm so angry about this baby! This is so unnecessary. Any fool could have predicted this mess. The clues were all there.

A. The girl was young and stupid

B. The biological father is in jail (So she was already messing with jailbirds before she meets this monster)

C. The girl is living alone with her son (thereby giving monster access to the helpless baby)

D. There is no family to protect child or mother (just the way the monster wants it)

= Poor Baby is a sitting duck.....

I guess the question is: How do we reach these young vulnerable girls/women and let them know that no matter how lonely they are, or scared they are, they CANNOT just allow unknown men into their children's lives! That is a horrendous mistake, that could easily cost them and their children their lives! This precious baby did not deserve this. I don't' understand what this young girl could have found so appealing about this CONVICT!! Who is convincing these girls to go off with these damaged predators? Why would she think her precious baby would be safe? I don't mean to pin all the blame on a 17 year old, it's just that my sister had a baby at 17, and I never saw a more protective mother. She worked, and finished school, went to college and got a good job with the state, while the baby went to daycare. She eventually married the father, and they are still together. But to illustrate a point. One day (back when she was a teen) He, (the father) got loud in the house and the baby grew frightened and began to cry. My sister jumped up and showed him the door fast. My mother and step father were right behind her, they told him to never come back unless he knew how to act. He never tried that mess in front of us again, but the point is, she let him know that she was not going to put up with it. This probably would not have worked with a very damaged man, but then that's the reason you NEVER allow a damaged man in your life in the first place!

If you won't protect yourself-FOR GOD'S SAKE PROTECT AN INNOCENT BABY!!!

Stay away from convicts (most of them will never be reformed!)

Vet ALL men, and carefully screen for damage long, long before you let anyone NEAR your children!

It's probably best to refrain from dating when children are this young, as they cannot even tell you if someone is hurting them.

Watch carefully, not what a man says, but what HE DOES! How does he treat ppl when he thinks no one is watching?

Follow your instincts -It's knows more than you ever will!

Some warning signs of damage:

Does he curse excessively-and/or have a very dismal view of life in general?

Does he grow impatient, and anger easily?

Does he think all women are hoes and bitches-except his momma?

Does he get into fights easily over every little thing?

Does he act overly possessive or jealous over innocent encounters?

Does he come from a battered home?

Does he always have something spiteful to say about ppl in general?

Does he criticize you for small things?

Does he express outrage toward your children over trivial things -Get away fast!!!

Does he use drugs, sell drugs, or defend those who do? -Get away fast!!!

Does he have a record of even one serious offense? -Get away fast!!

Does he get angry, and for ANY reason you are suddenly afraid -Get away fast!!!

Does he try to force team, or move the relationship much faster than you feel comfortable doing?

-force teaming is when he might say "We need to take care of these kids"-And the KIDS ARE NOT HIS. IOWs He's making the two of you a team and you may have just met! This is a very effective manipulating tactic often used on women, because many men know that women don't want to be rude, or to seem rude....

Does he use guilt, manipulation, or pity to get you to do things you don't want to do? -Get away fast!!!

Are your children uncomfortable or fearful of him-regardless of whether you've seen any reason for them to be? -children have very good instincts (Be on high alert!) -Personally, I would never let someone near my children that I had not thoroughly vetted, and hopefully you ladies would not either. These are some of the clues, I'm sure you guys will add more, but we need to come together, and get these naive young girls away from these predators before more beautiful babies are thrown from moving cars!!!

....May God bless and keep this little angel...........

How WW try to steal the spotlight....

This is the post answer from a ww in reference to a recent post about Hollywood's refusal to show classy, talented, beautiful bw. For some reason, (I cannot figure out why) she thought this was a good answer to that particular post. Keep in mind this post had NOTHING to do with bm/ww at ALL! It was about BLACK WOMEN! Oh but I guess the spotlight is NEVER allowed to be on us, even on a blog GEARED to and ABOUT us!!! lol

I must admit this is my pet peeve with ww. Many of them truly seem to think the world revolves around them! What does some bm worshiping at her feet have to do with a post about the lack of good roles and images of bw in Hollywood? But see the spotlight must be turned back around to them always, because no one else really seems to matter. They remind me so much of bm, it's uncanny! Never can the discussion not involve them or there is a problem. Exp. I knew someone a few years ago, when I used to volunteer at a particular shelter. She was also a volunteer but quit because one of the regulars was getting very attached to her, and beginning to act like a stalker. Anyway, before she quit, this guy went from throwing kisses at her to following her to busting ALL the glass in her brand new car when she would not respond to his overly-obvious gestures. I remember her running back into the building crying wildly because she'd seen her car. She called her husband, who came down immediately. After he examined the car, he had the nerve to say, "That sonava bitch -how could he do this to ME!!! -I drive this car all the time!!! " WTH! I remember her looking around at the faces of the other women in total embarrassment. He completely disregarded her, and only thought about how the situation affected him! bm and ww do this constantly. They often see things through the filter of their own wants, desires, and needs, and completely disregard the wants, desires, and needs of others. Should we hate either one of these groups? Absolutely not, but we should be aware of how seldomly they have our interests at heart and have the sense to see it, and take appropriate action. Notice also how this heifer took the time to throw WM under the bus as well while she was tooting her horn, and trying to make bw jealous. First of all wm are some of the most courteous caring men on earth, yet she has the nerve to claim only bm have treated her in a courteous, chivalrous manner. I don't believe her for a minute. Then she once again goes on to rave about the bm's skin, and how much she loves it. You can bet many bm will read this and grin like Cheshire cats, yet when I mention (on my own BLOG!) how much I love the hues of a wm's skin and eye color, I KNOW I'm going to catch hell from bm (And I do!!) So my point is two fold. First I cannot figure out why this lady came on a BLACK WOMAN's blog to brag about her man, and second, I'm simply flabbergasted once again, how ww cannot allow bw to have the spotlight on a bw blog! And no, this is not an isolated event at all. I delete comments from ww talking about THEIR PROBLEMS, THEIR NEEDS, THEIR WANTS ETC. all the time. This is a BLACK WOMAN's blog -what's so hard to understand about that?

Read the passage from her below, which had absolutely NOTHING to do with the post it was posted to......(Hollywood's refusal to show classy, beautiful bw)

Anonymous said...
I'm a 31 y/o white chick (120 lbs @ 5'5" for those concerned). I recently started dating a black guy and it is AWESOME. He treats me better than I've ever been treated before. He understands when you take care of a woman, she'll take care of you. The way his skin looks and feels drives me crazy. He's not jealous or possessive, but protective and trusting. The sex is hot. He treats all my friends well, males and females. He is such a gentleman and anticipates my needs. If we're out and he sees I'm getting tired, that man has the car pulled around before I even have to say I'm ready to go. These aren't race-specific attributes. Any man can do these sort of things. And no man is perfect...they're still men! After years of dating all sorts of men- Indian men, Eastern European men, white American men, I have only felt truly worshiped by my black man. I can't get enough of him. The white guys I've been with, on the whole, just seem to take women for granted and forgot the little courtesies that make a women feel cared for and loved. They expect it to be all about them from Day One. Then they don't even call the next day. Your mileage may vary.
April 30, 2009 4:56 PM

When the NBABM sect try to take your man!!

How do you deal with the (Nothin but a bm,) type bw, who are often in so much pain, they cannot stand to see you so happy?

A friend of mine recently gave birth to her 3rd child. This is also her first biracial child. Both of her other children are by a bm who walked away, and could not be bothered paying CS, or helping to bring these little bundles of joy up. She had been alone, and struggling for years before meeting, and marrying Larry (DH). I remember it well. About 3 years ago, after much nagging from me, she agreed to go out with a wm who had been asking her out for awhile. They hit it off and one year later were wed. She was very happy, and I was really happy for her. When she told me she was pregnant I was almost as excited as her. But then during the latter part of her pregnancy she began to exhibit stress systems (sudden upset, crying, head aches and extreme fatigue etc. I attributed it to her pregnancy, but did advise her to get checked out. The doctor could not find anything physically wrong with her and agreed that it was indeed stress. Soon afterwards, she came over and confessed to me exactly what was causing it. It seems that she had begun to attend a new group of bw who got together weekly to talk about and resolve the problems in their lives. She had been too free and candid in her talks with them. She had told told them all about how wonderful her new marriage was. How generous her husband was, and the wonderful new lifestyle he had provided for her and her children. She now deeply regretted telling the women at the WO C (Women of Color ) meeting about her life. She said they spent a great deal of meeting time consoling each other and talking about how they could not find good men.They were predominantly (Nothin but a black man type-or claimed to be) She said after she told them about how wonderful her husband was, they all had strange looks on their faces, and almost NONE of them looked very happy for her. Then they began to make snide remarks about sistas who desert bm, and jungle fever. Some claimed they would never 'go there' and how could she do that to brothas. Yet, as soon as DH came to pick her up, some of them got right in his face and began to openly smile and flirt! (Even some of the ones who were saying they would not be caught dead with a wm! ) She said her husband had been baffled and then amused. He did not see it as a big deal. ( She secretly thinks he was flattered.) Anyway, soon after, they began to grow more and more hostile to her, all the while being more and more friendly to her husband. Then the situation escalated and these women began to drop by her beautiful new home and pretend they just wanted to see it (Since she had bragged about the great new house hubby had bought) She said she could feel the animosity and jealousy even through their fake smiles, and she was sensing deep resentment. Soon after they began to come 'only' when dh was home, and once again flirt with him right in front of her. (As well as attempting to monopolize his time, and talk about things designed to cause problems in her family) They were growing more and more bold, and she was getting sick from the stress. Now keep in mind, she's a very sweet person, but unlike the stereotype of bw, she is almost shy, reserved, quiet, and unable to confront ppl. I explained to her these women were only doing what she allowed them to do. I told her I would stand guard at my door and ask in a less-than-kind voice "Can I help you?" And I would make it clear by my face and tone, that they had BETTER NOT step an unwanted foot in my house! Upon my advice she began to cry. "Sara, I just can't!" She wailed. "First of all bw are supposed to stick together, and second, I think I'd rather be miserable for the hours they're here rather than have to throw them out!"

"C_____ "I said patiently. "These women are not about sisterhood-don't you see that? They have decided to either snag your husband-because they don't have one, or if they can't manage that, than to break up your marriage! You have got to get rid of them!"

After some more tears, I finally picked up the phone and called Larry (her hubby). He immediately put and end to the impromptu visits, and she was able to have a stress free delivery, and go home in peace.....

But the point of this is that some sistas are so dejected, sad, angry, and alone that they will try to cause you all manner of problems. This is usually due to the fact that many are so hardened by life and miserable. Your happiness, staring them in the face, may be a little more than some of them can take. In the case of my friend, she should have never ran her mouth about her great new house, and hubby. (Many of these women are struggling under the yoke of bills and babies-all alone) and this can definitely make one resentful. Also she likes to wear very high-end clothing and lots of jewelry, and make public displays with her dh. (Her man loves to spoil her) You can imagine how this might feel like a slap in the face to someone who has not had a 'real date' in eons. Now I am not blaming her, but what I am saying is she should have toned it down, and learned to keep -ha bisness ta 'ha -sef! (as my Grandma used to say) But anyway, I wanted to ask you ladies how do you handle it when sistas suddenly decide they ARE down with the swirl, and your man is the perfect place to start??? Or they seem hell bound on starting some mess in your life because of pain, jealousy, etc....

And lastly, I want to say to sistas out there who refuse to date out, mate out, and expand your horizons. Don't get angry because other bw are branching out, and getting the love you desperately want. If you refuse to work in your own best interests, and look for a good loving mate, regardless of color, then you are pretty much getting what you deserve....

The deadly lies thrown at BW, and the danger of believing them....

The middle pic is fine with most bm, but the other two couples will often incur fury....

"Don't you feel guilty F&*@ing a wm after they raped bw for thousands of years?" That's what a bm had the nerve to ask me the other day (upon seeing me and my family in front of a restaurant) And let it be noted he waited until I went to the bathroom alone, to approach me. "How can you F*%! his momma, his sisters, and his daughters? " I asked evenly, without waiting for a response. He just stood there stupidly,with his arm AROUND A WW and and stared after me. I knew exactly why he had not answered. He didn't have a sensible answer! There is no sensible answer! People who live in glass houses, have no business throwing stones, it's really as simple as that. I'm so damn tired of people trying to make bw feel guilty for dating/mating/marrying out We have as much right to be happy as any other woman. I feel like we have more right because who has suffered as much as we have? Who else has had to deal with constant frustrations of being called angry, masculine, unattractive, ball busting, baby mamma etc. The list goes on and on. All races of women have had all the problems that bw have had, but we are the only ones who become named after our problems ie, angry black women, welfare queens, unmarried baby mamas etc. And the saddest part to me is; If we fight back, we're angry, if we don't, it must be true. If we protest bm chasing non-bw like they are going out of style, we're jealous. But if we don't give a damn, and go out and get a non-bm- we're letting the race down, and practicing tyranny. Ladies please listen and learn. YOU CANNOT WIN-NO MATTER WHAT -SO DO YOU!!! I see so many bw are still afraid of what the bc will say if they roll up with a wm. I say damn that! The bc does not give a damn about you anyway. So DO YOU!! Like Evia always says: There MUST be reciprocity!! I don't mind bm with ww at all. I simply want the same thing for bw. Don't we deserve to come home to a loving husband who can wrap his big warm arms around us and ask us how our day was? Don't we deserve to have someone to hold, kiss, make love to like every other woman? Don't we deserve to have FATHERS for our babies who will love, protect, and cherish them? It' s ludicrous how many bw are so afraid of what other bp will say that they virtually spend their whole lives waiting on that black prince charming to come steal them away. It's not going to happen! There can only be one end for bw who continue to wait for the black prince, and that's a lonely, desperate, one way ticket to the GRAVE!!! BM are NOT coming for you! In the years to come the only bw who will survive will be those who have the sense to wake up from the twilight zone. ALL the others will die off of depression, loneliness, disease (born of pain and anger) and they will perish quietly with ppl shaking their heads murmuring how foolish these women were to wait their lives away! Ladies no matter what lies they tell you, don't wait! No matter what the church says; Don't wait! No matter what bm tell you (ESP. them. ) Don't wait! You're life is too precious to give someone that type of control over it.

Even the church is involved in these lies! I was in church the other day ( we are looking for a new church) and the pastor was telling the women "Wait on God to send you a husband! -he'll come if you just wait!" He raised his voice and growled these words and as I looked around, I could see the women nodding and murmuring. I shook my head in despair Pastor knows good and well the chances of these women meeting Mr right in a church that is predominantly 80% female is too unlikely for words! On top of that about half the men left (all black) half of them are with non-black women! About 1/4 are using bw for sex, goodies, money, etc, and the remaining fourth are already married to various women. This is what I mean about fishing in a polluted pond. This is no place to find a husband. The church knows this but I notice they seem to demand these women come to church sometimes 7 days a week! They've got a missionary day, Men's day, bible study, bible class, choir study-and rehearsal, usher day, pastor's day.... etc It goes on and on. Some ppl are at that church 7 days per week and every time they go, there is an offering or two plus they will ask the women to donate this or that, and work on this or that. See this is nothing but the church making sure these women have NO TIME to meet a good man because he will undoubtedly take her away from the church along with all the money and free labor she is donating. Now tell me how going to church almost every day, when would the average sister find time to find a husband? The answer is; She wouldn't .

Ladies you must realize something. Never expect someone to lead you from a ditch if they benefit from you staying in it! Always question people's motives.The church benefits from black women being lonely, vulnerable, spiritually void and desperately searching for solace. The reason bm don't want bw to escape has nothing to do with actually caring about bw. They know good and well how sad and miserable many sistas are because they do not have a man. But they benefit from these sistas in numerous ways. This is why this is no deterrent for their behavior, because a bw's happiness is not the target goal. The target goal is 1. To have someone waiting in the wings in case he should fall into trouble and need her, and 2. to have someone to use for free sex, money, help connections etc on a daily basis. Many of them don't even try to hide their antipathy for bw anymore, they simply figure bw are so desperate and stupid that they can come clean and still keep their harem intact. The other day I was watching Judge Mathis. There was a bm/bw on the show suing each other. The woman was suing because she and the man had gotten into an argument and he proceeded to pound her face into his car door. She was seeking her medical bills and cried though out her testimony. The man admitted to hitting her, but claimed it was only a few times, and that he had only done it because 'she would not shut up' He went on to tell the court that she was a 'crack head' and that she really did not matter! He further stated that he only kept the association with her alive because she was 'easy sex' and all he had to do was call. The woman seemed shocked to hear him talk about her this way. She was obliviously under the impression that they were together, and that this man cared about her. She broke down and cried, looking shell shocked and pitiful. She got her judgement but she seemed like a broken shell as she stood there shaking. The man turned and laughed in her face, he knew all along he had been using her, but she, in her eternal faith had not known, and now he had told the whole world she was just a side hoe. Ladies, your very lives are at stake, don't believe the lies....... These are the main ones to be on the lookout for:

1. Black women need to just hang in there, black men WILL come home one day

2. Black women are to blame for bm leaving in the first place-now be a good mammy and wait for them to come home.

3. Black women are too loud-that's why bm left.

4. A true sista NEVER Dates/Mates/or Marries white-she holds strong regardless of her pain, distress, and loneliness

5. Black women are too un-lady-like, fat, ugly, masculine (fill in the blank) that's why they left.

6. BM are kept down by WM, that's why they are so stressed-they need sistas to stay by their side and wait...

7.IF BW didn't have so much drama, babies out of wedlock, issues, they would not be alone-then the 70% stat is usually cited

There are other lies, but I think you get the picture, you must refuse to keep believing this nonsense and actively find your own Mr right (regardless of color ) and MOVE ON....

# 1 Reason to date out, mate out, and GET OUT of the BC!!!

More and more bw are running away from the bc, and finding love and happiness in the arms of 'other men'

I left my family the other day and told them I was going to see one of my sisters. She lives in a predominantly black area of the city, and was scheduled to undergo light surgery for a common female problem. As I left the hospital and made my way to Walmart to pick up a few things for her, I encountered a group of young bm. There were about 4-5 of them. I averted my eyes so as not to attract their attention, but it didn't work. The apparent leader of them flashed me a wicked smile and said: "You is one fione b*tch! Then he turned to the others and said "Thems the kinda B*tches I likes to F***! He then went on to spew the most despicable stream of profanity, and sexual descriptions you've ever heard. I shot him a 'You are truly disgusting look, and practically ran away from them, while he and his friends fell over themselves laughing.

"She thinks she's too good for you!" one of his crew told him, laughing through a haze of cigarette smoke. "Ah she's just another b*tch!" He shot back. "None of them mean a damn thing!" I thought about that as I walked away. BW DON'T SEEM TO MEAN ANYTHING TO BM!!! It's like they see us, but we're not worthy of being thought of as humans, only as sexual toilets!!! A young girl who was standing near the bank had overheard everything. She smiled sadly at me, looking as if she wanted to cry. " I thought they only did that to teenagers like me" she said softly. "I had no idea they disrespected grown women too!"

She looked so sad I wanted to put my arms around her and comfort her. I could almost feel her pain. She probably went through this mess everyday because she lived here.

I thought about how grateful I was that I didn't live near these animals but it saddens me to no end that so many bw do. I don't understand why they don't leave! The young girl has no choice her family probably decided to live here, but what about all the women who stay voluntarily? I can't understand why they stay! Do you think it's a good idea to bring your child up around these subhumans? This particular sister, I don't visit often because I cannot stand being anywhere near these misogynistic city-dwelling terrorists. The lives of bw are hell in these places and everyone knows it! Now I am NOT suggesting that wm cannot be misogynistic, because they certainly can! But nowhere is this behavior more prevalent, more accepted, more encouraged and enforced than the black community! It almost seems to become a right of passage into manhood in some areas! These broken down, nothing- going-for- themselves, pieces of filth are allowed to prey on women and children with complete impunity in the BC! And the level of open hostility, venom and outright hatred directed toward anything female, often cannot be described, it has to be experienced to be believed. But that brings me back to my original question: Why do bw stay? Anyone with eyes can see these places are breeding grounds for misogynistic predators, yet so many bw seem to think they are going to save the race, and make bm change. Ladies, let me give you the sad facts. You cannot make a man change, and two, black men DO NOT WANT to change! They are so addicted to having ppl make excuses for their shortcomings and failures, that they've grown weaker and weaker as men. Filled with self contempt, and loathing. They attempt to push bw in the mud and step on them, so they will considered higher. What you are seeing from these men is self hatred being directed out toward the women who remind them of themselves! You cannot change these men so please don't endanger yourselves trying. Get the hell away as fast as you can, and never let these predators anywhere near your children!

I remember a few years ago, my cousin (we'll call her Lena), and her best friend (we'll call her Stef) had gone into a chicken place in the wee hours of the morning (they had been out clubbing) Both my cousin Lena, and her friend Stef were young beautiful light skinned girls. As they entered the establishment, they attracted the attention of many bm standing in line. One particular sleazeball slimed his way over to my cousin and her friend and said: " I loves myself som light skinneded womem!"

My cousin knew better than to say anything, but her friend was from a different place, and unfamiliar with the dark, twisted minds of these men. So Stef turned to the man, and before my cousin could stop her, said, "So what!- who cares what you like!" The man immediately turned into the animal he was, and began to call them b*tches and h*es. He was screaming at the top of his lungs that these b*tches had, had the nerve to insult him. My cousin tried to pull her friend away, but Stef was so shocked by this behavior that she turned to the man behind the counter, and asked him to call the police. The man just looked back at her blankly and went on serving food while this fool screamed obscenities at them. At this point my cousin was begging Stef to leave. She knew exactly how dangerous it is for bw in the hood. Stef turned to the man's friends and said. "Why is he doing this to us? -please tell him to leave us alone!" His friends looked at her like she was a cockroach, and one snarled. "Shut the f*ck up b*tch before we cut yo stupid azz!" With that my cousin was thrown away from Stef, and Stef was punched by the man and one of his friends! People were yelling, and my cousin saw Stef screaming, and holding her face. Blood was streaming between her fingers! That was when she discovered the men had, had razor blades between their fingers when they punched her! The men ran outside like the cowards they were and took off in a car driven by a female (who later claimed she did not know them, but had given them a ride at 3:00 in the morning because they asked her to!!!) Now of course she KNEW them, no female in her right mind would give a ride to strangers at 3 in the morning! The chances of being raped are too high! Neverless, they were never found, and Stef's formerly beautiful face, now bears long ugly scars that will never go away! She is just a shell of her former self. She seems broken, and her vitality and zest for life both seem long gone. Ladies, I am begging you. These places are no place for women with any hope of love and happiness to EVER be. Get out of the hood with it's misogynistic, hate filled, criminally inclined predators! Run as far away as you can, and encourage other bw to do the same! This can become a matter of life or death for you and your children. These places have become cauldrons of pain, despair and hopelessness. Your children will learn what they live! Think about that for a moment, is this the life you want for them-or for yourself?

Why we MUST focus on our own agenda....

This is going to be a bit controversial (but when am I not- huh?)

For those of you who do not know, I have a very handsome half- Spanish brother named Pedro, whom I love dearly. He is the child of my mom's second marriage. Pedro has Spanish features, long braided hair (halfway down his back). He's very fair complected, Latino looking, and fluent in his native language. In fact, people always think he's lying when he's says he's half black.
Anyway, something happened to my brother a few months ago that made me think. In early January, he had a job interview that his best friend Tito got for him. Everyone knows the economy is horrible and everyone is losing jobs, houses etc. Well out of the blue my brother decides he's needs a better job, as he wants to marry his girl friend. (He's way too young, but that's another story) Anyway, everyone in the family was telling him to go apply later on when the economy picks up, and that he won't have a chance right now. He didn't listen-he never does. He's always been the type of person who does exactly what he wants. Anyway, he went for an interview for a very high position within a local corporation. ( A position which would normally be considered out of the question for someone so young and inexperienced. -Keep in mind my brother is not old enough to legally buy a drink! Anyway, a few hours later he drops by our house and swoops me up happily! He told me that when he went to interview, he was originally scheduled to meet with a older bw, named Ms Williams. But as he was asking the receptionist directions to the lady's office, two very friendly Hispanic women began to converse with him in Spanish. They asked him if he was there for an interview, when he answered yes, they not only escorted him to the appropriate office, but gave him inside tips about the job. Then they told him to stay there, they would see if Ms Sanchez could take the interview. A moment later the women he was supposed to interview with motioned for him to come into the office. As he entered, a large Latino woman rushed in behind him, introduced herself as Ms Sanchez, and basically took over the interview (much to Ms William's obvious irritation). When Ms Williams tried to ask him about prior experience (of which he had none in this area) Ms Sanchez cut her off and redirected the questions. My brother said she was so warm and loving to him, that he thought that was her normal personality. He didn't find out until later that her kindness seemed to be reserved for Hispanics only. Anyway the long and short of it was that Ms Williams tried to deny him the position based on his youth and lack of qualifications, and Ms Sanchez overruled her. He got the job. His salary doubled and he loves it there. The people love him, and treat him like family. Even though he had no idea what he was doing, the ppl went out of their way for him and worked with him until he got the job down pat.
The thing is my brother is very young. I don't think he realizes that he got that job unfairly. Many far more qualified ppl were turned down because this Latino woman was determined to only hire her own kind! . I wondered what would have happened if one of us had gone in there with him, or his gf had been with him! (she's black). I was happy for him, but I felt a bit bitter because I thought about all the bp they probably turned down to insure a *Latino* person got that job! I also felt a bit angry because bp still don't seem to get it but everyone does. You can move mountains with a focused group, instead of spinning your wheels trying for a lifetime trying to do it yourself. My late, military father used to put it like this: Don't ever put your buddy's gas mask on-before your own! Spanish ppl seem very focused on bettering life for Spanish ppl. Same with Asian, Indian, etc. But Who focuses on bettering the lives of bp? Because it's certainly not us!- We always seem too busy trying to undertake someone else's cause!
Now that may sound racist, but I honestly don't mean it to. What I mean is that our *cause* has become so diluted, we don't even recognize it anymore. We have taken up so many banners that the message has become lost. My brother's experience is quite common. I remember dropping him off at a new HS, and watching Spanish kids come out of the woodwork to greet him and offer him help. I'm talking about when he was a complete stranger to them! They are quite cohesive as a people. They really seem to go out of their way for each other. My brother never worried about forgetting his lunch money in school or which clubs to join or anything else. He knew the Spanish kids would take him under their wing, and they always did. Maybe I'm jealous because I don't see this type of community, and mutual benefit in the black community. It fact it seems like many of us go out of our way to stand on each other's backs to get where we want to go in life. In fact we'll often go out of our way to buy from other ppl, to the exclusion of black ppl! We seem to have an inherent distrust of ourselves and I think others sense it and exploit it. For instance, why are all the black hair stores are owned by Koreans? How come ppl can come over here from another country and set up businesses in black communities? ( and do extremely well) Yet we could almost NEVER go into their communities and start a business with any viable hope of success! Why are so many bp are struggling to make ends meet, in a land overflowing with opportunity? I know someone whose husband is a cab driver. She says the man he works for came over here less than 5 years ago (from Pakistan) without a penny to his name. But he stayed with his family and they ALL worked, and saved a year and gave him the seed capital to start his cab service. Now a few short years later he makes upwards of 300.000 per year. He employs bm to drive his cabs and pump gas ( he now owns a gas station+ and several cabs) and employs Pakistan ppl to keep books, work the office, and do the day to day operations. My point is: how come bp don't work together to do things like this, so they can own the cabs instead of pumping the gas? How come we are the only race trying to do it all alone, or in conjunction with ppl who do not have our best interests in their sights? When you go into these places in the inner city, you will see that although they service the bc, they never HIRE from the bc. They always pick their own. They always put their own agenda first. Somehow we as a ppl have never learned to do this. I am not saying we should not care about others, I am saying we should take care of our own problems first. If your neighbors children are hungry, and your are as well-who gets to eat first? Any fool knows you feed your own children first, and then try to help the other children! But you must take care of your own home first- and take care of your own ppl first-everyone seems to inherently know this-except us.....
Botton line the reason I think we MUST focus on our own agenda to the exclusion of everyone else's is because no one else will! Everyone feels no shame in doing the best they can for their own community and not sharing that spotlight with anyone else. Everyone that is, except us. We are still trying to include everyone else, and diluting our message in the long term. We seem to embrace some false sense of guilt for even thinking of ourselves at all! While many others never give us a second thought! We need to stop playing the fools, and realize that we are just as important as anyone else, and that we must help ourselves before we can help anyone else....