Why we must have HIGH Standards......

The kind of man you get will be a direct reflection of the kind of standards you hold....

Why do you think the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders are the best in the world?

I can tell you in one simple word. *Standards* It's because they have the highest STANDARDS of any cheerleaders in the world. Standards are the parameters of behavior in our lives. They determine what is acceptable to us, and what is not. I remember watching an episode of the DCC on tv, and being awed by how perfect the routine was. As I watched the girls trying to make the team, it was quite evident just how extremely high the criteria was. The women had to be very attractive, very thin, very athletic, toned, physically strong, good dancers along with grace, stage presence, and gymnastic abilities. The standards were so high in fact, that many girls began to cry upon finding out what was expected of them. They 'knew' they did not have what it took to reach them. The two women who head the team told one girl that her face did not look young and fresh. (yes, she was young) but they said it was completely obvious to them, that she had engaged in many anti-social behaviors that were now showing on her face, and that she was not a candidate for training school, and that she would never be. Another girl was dismissed because she had naked pictures on the Internet, and they told her that this was conduct unbecoming a DCC candidate, and that she was dismissed as well. I watched them send girls home for weight, body shape, lack of charm, lack of dance skills, lack of etiquette etc. Time and again, I noticed that as hard as they were on the white girls, they were harder still on the black girls. One wg was warned 3 times about her weight before she was dismissed. Yet I watched as one bg was dismissed with her very first bad performance. She cried, and begged to have one more chance, but they refused. This was a recurring theme, the bgs were given one shot deals again and again. Now this is not fair, but it IS life. The truth is the high standards for others, will always be higher still for us. No bg/bw can afford to delude herself about this. We must always be on our A-game. The most interesting part though is that of the bgs left, they were the best of the best. One was considered the best dancer on the team. One won for most athletic when she beat everyone in the competition, and one was considered as having the most stage presence etc.... The point is the bgs knew they had to be the best of the best in order to make the team -and they were.....

But lets apply this to another area for a moment.

I have a male cousin who is a typical damaged bm in a blk enclave. He's in the hospital right now due to the fact that one of the females he cheated on (There are 6 that we know of!) stabbed him when she found out that he had 3 other girls pregnant, while living with her. In fact, at a recent family reunion, one of 'his women' came with one of the babies, and he had to ask her his son's name!!! The reason many bm act this way is because the standards for a good bm have become so lackadaisical as to be almost non existent. Once upon a time the standards for being a man were much higher in the bc, and this is why we had men like my grandfather who, although he was Native American, married my grandmother, and worked to give her the best life he possibly could. He knew her family would not tolerate her marrying a bum. This is the reason that all their children were born IN wedlock, and me and all of my sisters and brothers were born in wedlock. It's also the reason that so many blk children today are NOT born in wedlock. Back in time the standards were so much higher across the board. The truth is if bm collectively and consciously decided to raise their standards of just fatherhood, the bc would be a far different place than it is today.

It makes me think of the bm of old, like for instance, I remember reading about Benjamin Banneker. This man was a mathematician, Astronomer, Inventor, and Surveyor! This man was so accomplished and so intelligent, that he correctly predicted a solar eclipse on the exact day it happened, using a complex mathematical equation. In 1792 he published an almanac that was so definitive, accurate and abstruse, that it caused Thomas Jefferson to reverse his contention that blacks were internally, and intellectually inferior to whites. Basically this man was a genius. Why? because he had the standards of a genius! (BTW-scientists have proven that geniuses are created far more often then they are born)

I also remember reading about Frederick Douglas, and the context in which he addressed the Dred Scott Decision. Dred Scott was a slave who sued his owner's wife, Ms Emerson, for his freedom (after the death of Dr Emerson) He felt he was entitled to live free because he had lived several years in free territories. He initially won, his battle (1850) but the decision was overturned by the Missouri Supreme Court in 1852. He appealed to the US Supreme court with the help of abolitionist friends and supporters. But in 1857, the US Supreme Court handed down it's decision:

***As a black man, Dred Scott was NOT a citizen of the United States and had no right to sue anybody. Furthermore, the court ruled, that congress could not prevent slave owners form taking their property (slaves) anywhere in the country.

This decision dealt a serious blow to the anti-slavery movement, because it then retroactively made prior anti-slavery laws, unconstitutional.

Chief Justice Taney declared:

"Blacks are an inferior class of beings who have no rights to which the white man is bound to respect."

Many blacks were ready to give up at that point, but Frederick Douglas roused them to fight on, with words to the effect: " The Supreme Court is not the only power in this world, and Judge Taney cannot bail out the ocean or pluck a silvery star of liberty from our Northern sky...." (In other words Taney was not God!) There was more, but I don't remember it verbatim. What I do remember is being deeply inspired by his fortitude, and strength. I remember asking my mother how ppl living in such oppressed conditions found the strength to keep going, to fight on, and march on in the face of such bigotry and hatred. She told me that they had very high standards for their lives that they were willing to die for. She said they knew they would probably perish before those dreams were realized. But they knew that if they fought hard enough, and long enough, and never gave up, that some day their children might come into the world, and have a better life....

Anyway, this is not a history lesson, but I will never forget those words. I think about these things all the time, and I wonder how our ancestors must think to themselves: I went through SOOOOOO much so that they might have better lives, and the right to live free and look how they have exploited and denigrated those gifts....and it makes me so sad.

The truth is, today, many ppl have no standards for their lives. Too many bw have high standards for their own lives (Education, career) but low standards for the men in their lives (any man will do, type mentality) Ladies, the truth is, anything you don't have standards for will fail in your life! You must have standards for everything you expect to be productive, and constructive in your life. This includes, but is not limited to: your children, your fiances, your career, education, and your HUSBAND. I'm a firm believer in using obstacles to your benefit. This is how many of our ancestors were able to keep pushing, instead of laying down to die. They saw that whites would not let them into their community, so they formed their own. They supported blk businesses, and helped each other all they could. The church is an old time relic from this nostalgic period of affinity, and brotherhood in the BC. But things are drastically different today. Today, bw must adapt to those changes, as well as others in this life. If the bc is no longer the bastion of love, protection and support, that it once was, (and it's def. not! -now it's a hovel of hell) then we need to move on. If a school you have your child in, is substandard, then remove your children and find a better school. If there is something you want desperately to do in this life, yet you lack the resources, -then find a way to get the resources to do it anyway. Life is fleeting, and short! Never keep putting off the things that you want. Never lower the standards you have for your life. And of course if bm cannot measure up to par, (don't meet your standards) then for heaven's sake-leave them where they lay, and move on!

The biggest problem in the bc today, is that we have lessened the standards so much. Our musical standards have lessened, and now we have trash 'simulating' music. Our standards of the youth have lessened, and now we have young children with no respect for their elders, or themselves. Cursing out women in the streets and walking around with their pants hanging around their knees etc. Our standards of etiquette have been lowered, and now ppl get on television and air all their dirty laundry. And our standards for bm have gotten so low, many bm will cop an attitude for being EXPECTED to take care of their own children!! We have got to life our standards back up, and stop accepting trash! Take a tip from our ancestors, don't lower the standards, find other ways to meet them.

The reason America is the best country in the world today is because our STANDARDS are the highest! When countries loosen the standards for their citizens (Iraq, Iran, China) come to mind, you can literally watch the lives of the citizens unravel, and deteriorate. (famine, wide spread abuse, internal wars, and high degrees of misogyny) to name a few....If you want to have a great life, and a great man, or even just a great career, then you must keep your standards up, and adjust your life to get what you want. You can have almost anything you want, but only if you are willing to put in the work, have high standards, and refuse to accept less.........

Read Karma story: -on white chocolate preferred....

The myth that white men only want black women for SEX!!!

Choose your man carefully. Prince Albert (L) is a man who is very attracted to bw, but obviously would not marry one.

On the other hand, MANY wm, are more than happy to marry bw-tune out those who say differently, they are misguided... (or lying)

Let's face it-

Many bw believe wm only want them for sex because they are told this on a continuous basis. Usually by bm (who want to use them first, and the bc-who need mules to carry the burdens) Bw are constantly told this is All wm could ever want them for. Even the media, seems to have a vested interest in corroborating this misconception. Usually, because they do not want bw to take the choicest white men. (Remember what I've told y'all. Never trust someone to tell you how to get out of a ditch, if he has a vested interest in you staying in it.....

Today, I'm going to answer this question for you once and for all.

The truth is: ----------SOME DO! ----And SOME DON'T-------------

The simple truth is, (regardless of race-) SOME men are jerks and will always try to use women. But for many men, sex simply becomes an unplanned opportunity that they could not refuse-when offered. Ladies, let me explain something. Sex to a man (this applies to most men) is like a good cup of coffee. It's hot, it's delicious, and it's over.... They'll wash themselves off, and go on their way. Many men will even have sex with women they don't like! As women, you have to stop mixing sex with love, they are NOT the same. Now I don't' think it makes a man a bad guy if he sleeps with a woman he is not in love with, or barely knows. I def. think it makes him stupid in this day and age, but that's another story... Bottom line, women need to be VERY slow to sleep with a man. like I've said many times before, men are just not smart enough to hide their *real* selves for long. All you have to do to vet him is keep your legs closed and your ears open. He will tell you EXACTLY who he is.....

As for the question, do wm just want bw for sex---- Let me tell you ladies something ----

ALL men want you for sex!!! He won't approach if he thinks he is NEVER going to be able to sleep with you, but that does not mean, that's ALL he wants....

It's interesting to me that so many bw write and tell me that they want to date out, but are afraid wm will try to use them for sex! Yet many of these same women will relate to me that they are unwed mothers or have been used, and hurt repeatedly by bm. My question is:

WHY AREN'T BLACK WOMEN WORRIED ABOUT BM USING THEM FOR SEX???

Because the majority of them, (BM) most definitely do use bw for sex, (and money, housing, laundry, etc) and yet many of you are so busy worrying about what wm are 'going' to use you for, you can't see that bm have been using some of you for years!!

Should you vet white men?? --Girl YES!-vet ALL MEN!!!--- but then close your legs, smile, and listen to what he's really saying/doing. Many women do not seem to realize that they are setting the tone, when they first meet a man. This is why your momma always told you to make a good impression, because you can never go back and re meet that person for the first time. In other words, if you come off as a tramp when he first meets you, then what exactly do you expect him to believe-except that you are a tramp? It' s so very important to set the tone in the beginning and establish in his mind that you are a lady, and that you expect to be treated like one. This is especially important because the jerks who have no intentions of treating you well, will begin to fade away, and the quality men will still be there. Always know that you are setting the tone when you first meet....Now back to men...

What many women do not know is that men will often put a women in 4 distinct categories when he meets a woman.

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a. friend/companion/confidante

b. sidepiece, week end fling-other woman

c. mother-like, maternal -relatives

d. WIFE-wife material!

He will NEVER tell you he is doing this, he will simply do it. You must NEVER allow him to put you in Cat B. Let me tell you a few things about sex that most younger women do not know...

Sex is NOT a bonding agent! You cannot use it to pull him to you. LOVE is the bond, Sex is just the expression of the love! Never pass yourself around like a box of chocolate! Even if no one else knows (say you move to a new state) In your heart you will still know, and your soul will ache. You are much too precious to be used as a sexual toilet!

Remember in the Color Purple when Shug says to Cilly (sp?) "You act like he just goin to the bathroom on you Ms cilly! "
And Cilly shrugs sadly, and replies:

"That's what it feel like. He don't ever ask me nothin bout myself or nuthin! He just climb on top of me an-do his bizness" .......

That's a perfect example of sex without love and intimacy. Her soul was aching because she KNEW she was being used, and sexed by someone who didn't give a damn about her. I see no reason for any women to WILLINGLY subject themselves to this self esteem killing behavior or have to live with the regret of indulging in this type of behavior. Save yourself for the one that matters!

Never should it be easy for a man to get you into bed (unless he's your hubby!) HONEY-when it comes to playing hard to get-you should NOT be playing!

... But back to topic. Vet all men because some wm simply love black booty, and will most def. indulge at every whim if given the opportunity. But MANY wm, are looking for someone to LOVE, someone to mother his children, someone to marry, and he is not concerned with color, if you're not....

Lastly, I think I told you ladies, to LISTEN and he would tell you... I want to give an example of what I was talking about. A few years ago, I was a consultant at a particular office in town. There were a few wm there who would *seem* to follow me around. One was always asking me out. He still wore his deceased wife's ring on his finger, and always spoke of things that meant a great deal to him. I noticed whenever he mentioned his wife, he would cock his head to the side, and look up to the left. Then a sweet smile would come over his face and he would tell me how much I reminded him of his late wife. I knew he was picturing her in the past and I could tell by the look on his face, how much she meant to him. But soon, he began to *chase* me in earnest, and when he spoke to me, I began to see him look up with that same dreamy look -to the right. I knew he was picturing me in his future, and I also knew he was falling hard.... The point is: by simply paying attention to the myriad of clues he was leaving, I could guess what was going on long before he confessed it.... Now the other guy always seemed to be talking to my chest instead of me. Even when he leaned over me, and whispered how pretty he thought I was, his eyes were on the top of my dress. I knew right away what *type* he was, and I avoided him. But he was very persistent, and always managed to be where I was. He also was annoyingly touchy-feely, and leering. One day he actually had the nerve to send me an email saying something to the effect of -he was going to throw me across my desk- and ravage me! This is how I handled it.

When he came to my office to ask me if I had gotten his email, I looked up, and blinked several times like I was an airhead. Then I turned and looked him right in the eye, and said. "Oh, I figured you had confused my email, with someone else, because I was sure you 'knew' better than to disrespect me like that!" I then finished it off with a blank look. He was suddenly embarrassed, and stuttered an apology to me.... Weeks later, he got involved with a bw officer, and sexed her until his wife found out, and got her fired! (Yes, the jerk was married!) When it hit the fan, he never came forward in her defense.... See, she was just a side piece to him......

Anyway ladies, that's what I want to make clear to you. Most men will use you as a side piece if you let them. Nice guys, jerks, even religious men (IF you let them) They all have sexual urges, and they will use you to alleviate those urges IF you let them....

So trust your own instincts, you will come to know which wm is sincere and which one is just after a good time, and all you have to do is LISTEN!!

UNBELIEVABLE --- BET reaches an all time low!!!

Jaime Foxx starts off the evening insulting MJ fans, and insisting on calling Michael a black man -"He belonged to us!-and we shared him with the world!" he bellowed.

Any fool knows that's not true! Michael loved all people of all colors, and truly he belonged to the world-not just us....

Well BET does it again. It adeptly brings us to a new all time low, and just when you think the network just can't get anymore sleazy. My hat is off, Debra Lee, and her cohorts managed to pull it off. I'm referring of course to the so-called Michael Jackson tribute, that wasn't. In fact, Michael was barely mentioned. But what was highlighted, and presented to America, was a foul, gyrating, lyrical nonsense 'performance' passing as musical entertainment. It was then topped off in it's debauchery with a heaping dose of child porn. If you saw the show, then you saw Lil Wayne and his cohorts rapping to some God-forsaken garbage 'about f(*&^%) every girl in the world! This coonified, brain dead, little amoral puppet came out swaying, and grinning like a modern day minstrel show, while he brought black ppl to the bottom of the cesspool where he and his friends, no-doubt, live. While he rapped out this lyrical feces, out come 4 cute little (9-12) year old black girls. At this point, I'm shocked, thinking they are going to stop this nonsense, but no. Ppl kept bobbing and dancing in place while these little girls gathered around to be exploited. And it gets worse, as the lyrics went into rather graphic detail, and had to be bleeped out, I watched as one of Lil Wayne's damaged sidekicks began to chant how he loved to get the 'Spanish girls to 'scream "Oh Papi" as he stuck his d(*&) in. At this point I was so shaken and mortified, I had to leave the room. I'm going to try to post this video for those of you who think I'm exaggerating.... How long are bp going to actively participate in their own demise. Not one adult in that audience stood up and spoke up for those little girls. Truly, most of our enemies seem to be internal.... The only way to describe BET, and the amoral pygmies that run it-is HOT GHETTO MESS...

Don't bother writing letters BET does not care-don't you realize that yet? The only way to deal with these life-lacerating maggots is to get them off the air!

Go to what about our daughters-both videos are there (scroll down to see little girls)

http://www.whataboutourdaughters.com/

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The open letter sent to Clutch magazine -below-

FICTIONAL character.

Dear Debra Lee,
I’m Janita Patrick, a 15-year-old African-American female from Cincinnati. Recently, I watched the 2009 BET Awards and felt the strongest urge to reach out to the program. My family is of the typical middle-class variety; both parents and four brothers. See, I’m a junior in high school (got skipped), so naturally EVERYBODY in my age group watches BET. I’m used to seeing the sagging pants, tattoos, lack of emphasis on reading and respecting women that makes up your videos. People in my class live this out everyday, while teachers tell us that we’re acting just like the people in your shows.
In your shows. That struck me as odd, because I would think that with your show being the primary outlet for black entertainers and musicians, and considering the context of blacks in this country, there’s a social responsibility factor to consider. I would never blame BET alone for the way a great deal of my classmates act and talk and dress. Everybody makes their own choices. However, if anybody is aware of the power of television on impressionable minds, it’s the people running the television operations. If you are not aware, then perhaps you shouldn’t be running the operations.
Guess who watches your network the most? Not those who are intelligent enough to discern foolishness from substance, but those who are barely teenagers, impressionable and believing. It’s awfully cruel to plant seeds of ignorance in fertile minds. You know it’s really bad when the co-founder of BET, Sheila Johnson, said that she “really doesn’t watch it” anymore.
I am constantly fighting against the images and messages put forth on your program. What made you think that it’s okay to bring my classmates on stage to dance behind Lil Wayne and Drake to a song talking about boffing “every girl in the world”? Why does reality train wrecks have to be thrown in our faces? Are you aware of the achievement gap going in inner-city African-American communities? A report from America’s Promise Alliance, a non-profit group started by Colin Powell, recently stated that 47 percent of high school students in the nation’s top 50 cities don’t graduate. This isn’t because of BET per se, but I don’t see any episodes on your show doing anything to counteract this disturbing trend. In fact, your show is a part of this cycle of media depicting us at our worst.
My older brother told me something about profit being the number one goal for every business. I’m not sure I understand what that means, but I do know that your shows have to be entertaining enough to generate viewers, which is how you make your money. But surely our culture is rich enough to entertain without anything extra to “boost” ratings; why the over-the-top foolery? I listen to classmates talk about Baldwin Hills like it’s the Manhattan Project. It doesn’t take much effort to produce a throng of degenerative reality shows, nor does it take much to eliminate socially conscious shows off the air. MTV isn’t much better, but since when does two wrongs ever make a right? It’s one thing for white television shows to depict us in a particular way, but for black television shows to do it is just baffling.
Why do you hate us?
All of the values that my parents seek to instill in me and my brothers seems to be contradicted by a more powerful force from the media, and your show is at the forefront. Your network is the only network that features rap videos and shows exclusively to children of my color. I know that you have no control over the music that the artists put out, but you do have influence as to how you air these videos. I’m sure if a stand was taken to use the talent in your organization to actually crank out thought-provoking entertaining shows and videos, then artists will follow suit. Being that they need you as much as you need them.
There was one awkward segment in the BET Awards when Jamie Foxx singled out three black doctors-turned-authors, but the introduction was so powerless that many of the viewers had no idea who they were. Had they been introduced as Sampson Davis, Rameck Hunt and George Jenkins, three brothers who overcame major obstacles to become a success without the use of lyrics that berate women, the sell of substance that destroy communities or through raps about loose gunplay, then maybe my classmates would have come to school talking about more than Beyonce, T-Pain’s BIG ASS CHAIN and Soulja Boy Tell Em’s hopping out the bed.
But they weren’t introduced like that. It seemed like a throwaway obligatory tribute to appease some irritated fans. It missed the mark. Big time. Ask Michelle Obama if she watches BET or encourages Sasha and Malia to do so. Ask President Obama. It’s a reason he is the leader of the free world, and it isn’t because of Buffoonery Exists Today.
You’d be surprised how smart young black children can be with the absence of Blacks Embarrassing Themselves. If your goal is to deter engaged, forward-thinking articulate black minds, then consider your goal fulfilled. It’s hard-pressed to think that your shows are working to promote cultural betterment. However, it’s quite easy to conclude that the destruction of black children through the glorification of immoral behavior and rushed production is by design. Poison is being swallowed by every viewer who adores your network, and the worse thing is, these viewers - my classmates - are not even aware what they’re swallowing.
There is nothing edifying for black women on your show. I don’t judge people who do throng to your programs though; I mean, if a jet crashes in right in front of me, I’ll watch it too. That’s why I don’t flip by your channel…I don’t even want to be sucked in.
I have aspirations of acquiring a law degree and possibly entering the public sphere, so I can counteract conditions in my community perpetuated by the images on your channel. So I should thank you, because in a weird sense, your shoddy programming is the wind behind my back. And it is my hope that I can accomplish my dreams despite BET’s pictorial messages, because Lord knows it won’t be because of them.
Sincerely,Janita Patrick
Janita Patrick is a fictional character. Luckily for Janita, her heartfelt and articulate letter is a result from a lack of BET. Too many others aren’t as lucky.

Wow! --- and they call BW gold diggers!!!..........

Linda Hamilton, and Heather Mills. Two women who got very big divorce settlements for very short marriages. Below: Lionel Richie and second wife-Diane

Why is it that bw are so often called gold diggers??? That question really intrigues me especially sense 70% of the wealth of all AAs, resides with BLACK WOMEN!

I have seen bw called gold diggers for asking men to help with the bills, asking them to take them out once in a while, and even for asking them to help pay for THEIR children!

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I had to post on this because even the media will often call bw gold diggers (or they'll strongly imply it. Case in point, when Mike Tyson was divorcing Robyn Givens, the media often called her a gold digger, and claimed that she was arrogant, bitchy, overzealous in her need for control, and money grubbing. She was vilified in the press, and slandered repeatedly. She was so maligned the Enquirer at the time was calling her the most hated woman in America, and polls showed that 97% of the ppl felt that she should not get one dime in a divorce settlement! 97%! That's how effective the media was at portraying this woman as a gold digging, celebrity chasing tramp. You see them doing the same thing to Tameka Foster these days (Usher's soon to be Ex) She is also constantly vilified and crucified in the press. She is portrayed as a hood rat who chased and cornered a naive, highly talented rich singer. And somehow got her blackened fingers into him..... This is soooooo crazy because so often the REAL gold diggers are ignored while everyone is concentrating on bw who have the audacity to marry a man with money. The media will often hound and hunt down bw who have the temerity to marry up regardless of the man's race, and regardless of how much she herself brought to the table. But will often IGNORE ww who come to the table with practically nothing and demand large exorbitant paydays for short obligatory marriages. Case in point, do you know what the media said when Tiger Woods married Elin? They said she was mega-hot and he was lucky to get her!!! Lucky to get her!! Are you kidding me? She was a nanny (regardless of how they claim she was a top model -that's bull, she just had some swim suit pics) The truth is, she was the nanny of another golfer, and had practically no assets of which to speak, and yet when she marries a multi-millionaire world famous golfer, the media claims --HE WAS LUCKY TO GET HER!!!--- Lord have mercy! Can you imagine the furor if the situation had been reversed, and she was a blk nanny who married an international world famous rich white golfer??? The papers would have ripped her apart, and we all know it. But have you noticed that when it's obvious the woman is a gold digger, but is NOT black, the media is extremely reluctant to call her what she is.--- (Not saying that Elin is-just that she would be called one if she were black)---It seems, if said woman is white, she is almost never referred to in a negative fashion or accused of being avaricious, and opportunistic. I'll give a few examples of what I mean. Notice how of all 3 cases, these women are almost given license to fleece the men they CLAIMED to love! With the media practically defending them!

Farm Sanctuary's..
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LONDON — Heather Mills was a less than candid court witness whose $250 million divorce claim was exorbitant, a judge said in his ruling on her divorce from Paul McCartney.
The judgment by Hugh Bennett was released Tuesday, after a court rejected Mills' attempt to block publication.
On Monday, Bennett awarded Mills a $48.6 million divorce settlement after her four-year marriage to the former Beatle. Mills had sought almost $250 million, while McCartney had offered $31.6 million, including Mills' own assets.
In his ruling, the judge said Mills' claim "is and was unreasonable, indeed exorbitant."
He also said Mills' evidence was "not just inconsistent and inaccurate but also less than candid. Overall she was a less than impressive witness."
McCartney's lawyers didn't object to publication, but Mills claimed details in the ruling could compromise the security of her 4-year-old daughter Beatrice.
"Miss Mills believes her daughter will be put in real danger. It is most disturbing," said lawyer David Rosen, who represented Mills in court. She did not attend the hearing.
Mills, 40, walked away from court with a settlement worth about $34,000 for every day of her marriage to the 65-year-old McCartney. But it was only a fifth of what she had sought and a fraction of McCartney's $800 million fortune.
Mills declared that she was "very, very, very pleased."
The settlement included a lump sum of $33 million, plus the assets Mills currently holds worth $15.6 million.
Some legal experts were surprised the former model did not get more.
To me this is blatant gold digging of the highest order. Where does she get the nerve to ask for 250 million dollars??? She was married to this man for less than 4 years!!! He worked his whole life to make this fortune. Why should someone come in and be entitled to it because she was married to him for four years!!!

Then she tries to block publication of her outrageous requests because she does not want everyone to know just how greedy she really is.....

MARCH 2--Five months after filing for divorce from Lionel Richie, the singer's estranged wife has just weighed in with a whopping--and remarkably detailed--demand for at least $300,000 in monthly support payments. According to Diane Richie, 37, the couple has led an "extraordinary extravagant lifestyle" and that she had "no limit on what I could spend," according to the below Los Angeles Superior Court declaration filed last week. The Richie's, who wed in December 1996 and have two young children, live in a $40 million Beverly Hills mansion, with its 30 rooms spread over 18,000 square feet. "In addition to nine full time staff members, we also employ people to maintain our plants, detail our cars, care for our pool, groom our dog, maintain our aquarium and a painter for regular touch ups on the house," noted Richie. She also made sure to point out particular monthly expenses that Lionel, 54, needs to cover: clothing, shoes, and accessories ($15,000); dermatology ($3000); laser hair removal ($1000); massages ($600); jewelry ($5000); gifts ($5000); and vitamins ($500). There are plenty of other costs Richie listed--like $20,000 annually for plastic surgery and her nine-year-old son's $125,000 boarding school tuition--but TSG will let you discover those chestnuts. According to Richie, she began dating the pop star in 1984, when they met at the Summer Olympics in Los Angeles (she was an 18-year-old dancer). Since those teen days, the performer "paid my rent and/or mortgage, purchased automobiles for me, and regularly bought me expensive gifts," recalled Richie....
More gold digging, First of all, she stole him from another woman (Brenda) and then she cheats on him, while demanding that he take care of her in the style to which she has become accustomed! I would think that a woman voluntarily surrenders up that life style when she begins to have an affair!

James Cameron & Linda Hamilton -- (more than) $50 million James Cameron is the visionary filmmaker who gave the world grand Hollywood spectacles like the first two Terminator movies, in which Linda Hamilton starred, True Lies , and Titanic . The romance between the two reportedly began on the set of T2 in 1991, although they only got married in July 1997. But at that time, Titanic was released and Cameron apparently spent more time with one of his stars, Suzy Amis, than with his wife. During their 17-month marriage, which produced a daughter, they were separated for eight months. Cameron, whom Hamilton describes as an "absolutely miserable, miserable, unhappy man," was forced to give her more than half his revenues from Titanic -- over $50 million -- in 1999.W
I think this proves my point. Why in the world is a woman entitled to 50 million dollars for a 17 month marriage!!

This is what I mean. if you research any of these cases ( or many more) on the Internet, you will see that ww are given card blanch to rake men over the coals, while bw are expected to walk away with nothing regardless of how many years said couple is married. I am NOT saying that all ww are gold diggers or that all bw are innocent. Not at all-we all know that's not true. But what I am saying is that even when it's blatantly shown that SOME ww ARE gold diggers, they are never called this, and instead are excused, pampered, and protected. Lionel's first wife (bw) got almost nothing. Yet his second wife expects him to accommodate an extravagant lifestyle (she only lived because of him) for the rest of her life- regardless of the fact that she admitted to a long term and ongoing affair! The point is, when ppl call bw gold diggers -they really have no idea what an actual gold digger is, and even when they do, they are extremely reluctant to actually use the term, in connection with women who are not black....

So I want to be clear. I want bw to understand that wanting a better man is natural, that is not gold digging (because some women get it confused.) Wanting a man who is prosperous and can take care of his offspring is prudent, not gold digging. There is NOTHING wrong with that, and you should be trying to marry UP rather than down. I merely wanted to point out to bw the difference between wanting more, and being a gd. Wanting a man who has more and can do more is common sense. Asking for 250 million dollars after you've been married to someone for 4 years is Gold digging-there is a distinct difference. So absolutely want more, look for more, and marry more (up) don't allow the world or the bc-and the cartoon characters in it- to fool you anymore into thinking that you should be marrying down, and 'helping a brotha out!' Look for men who can definitely elevate you to a better life, and understand that only rapacious greed makes a gold digger, not simply wanting more, and wanting more for one's children.....

Don't let the ' white girl song' bother you.....

Instead of worrying about silly songs, focus on the life you want. The man you want, and happiness you want. Put your focus on that which EMPOWERS you.....

This post is not really about the white girl song, not exclusively anyway. It's about how many of you fall right into a state of anger and rage when bm do something you consider disrespectful and then internalize the pain. I'm going to show you how to handle anger much more constructively. First off, I need you ladies to understand that bm are FREE AGENTS!!! They can do what they want. Please- whatever you do -stop getting upset about seeing bm with ww! It's really no big deal. Many of you take it as some personal affront and it's not. Your attitude should be indifference. Do you want him? Probably not, so let it go. When you show upset over seeing bm with ww, that means you are still emotionally tied to them, or you think bm BELONG to bw. Honey, -they don't -Thank God. Wish them well on their path and let it go....

Second, I need you ladies to stop seeing ANYONE as your enemy. No matter who it is. You can NEVER consider a whole group of ppl your enemy. You could be alienating alot of good friends. Some ppl of whatever type may treat you bad-leave that (singular) PERSON alone. Yes, I definitely advise bw to be wary /careful of bm as a group, because too many of them are damaged and dangerous. But don't hate them. Anything you hate and despise weakens YOU. That's why you should be Pro- BW, not against BM! You should be pro-bw dating out, not against bm dating out. When you see a wg slobbering all over a bm, giving you snide and smug looks, you should be totally unmoved. Never get upset about something like that, those ppl have a right to do as they wish. The most wonderful part though-is so do you! You have a right to go out and get yourself the sexiest, finest wm you can find. You have a right to marry him and bear his children. You have a right to hold him close, and love him like there's no tomorrow.As long as you are bitter, and filled with hate, you block YOUR own good. Never have hate in your heart at other IR couples, because then you block the same thing from coming your way. It's almost like ppl who hate rich ppl, but secretly want desperately to be rich. As long as they're hating someone else for having riches, they are driving it away from themselves, but they don't even realize it.....

As for the WGS- Many of you have emailed me about this new song. Telling me how it puts ww on a pedestal and once again puts bw down. So what's new about that? They've been doing that for a while now, they're just more bold about it now. Personally, I just don't give a damn. Why would I? And why would you? I have what who I want, but even if I didn't, I certainly would never want a color-struck self hating man-would you? When are you ladies going to realize when you are being played? That song was deliberately intended to piss bw off, and many of you are falling right into character. And when someone is trying hard to piss you off, the best thing you can do is be nonchalant. Nothing gets under an agitator's skin like nonchalance. There's nothing bm want more than to control bw, and keep them off balance, scared, depressed, and available for multiple uses. The last thing in the world we need to concern ourselves with, is what bm want. You need to ask yourself/ves what YOU want? What do you want out of life? WHO do you want? What to you dream of at night when no one else is around. What do you want so badly that you would do it for free? That's what you need to focus on!! Not some stupid song, designed to provoke you to want to fight ww for bm. (And let's face it-that's the whole point of the song) Don't fight anybody over a man-regardless of his color. When women fight over men, the only one who wins is HIM!

The WGS, is designed to feed the ww's ego, and tear down the bw's ego, once again. The best thing bw can do is A. ignore it. or B. grab a WHITE BOY get on the dance floor and act as if the lyrics are reversed. But if it's bothering some of you so much, then why are you listening to it? Why are you dancing to it? Some of y'all really need to develop tunnel vision. See only your goals, and men who will love and respect you. Hear only what you NEED to hear, from those that matter in your life. LOVE ONLY THOSE WHO LOVE YOU BACK!!! Ladies this is not rocket science. Tune out those who don't have your best interest at heart and tune in those who do. And don't bother telling me you can't tell from the start when a man it totally about nothing. Women are very intuitive. Even when he's a master manipulator, we have great intuition. Learn to listen to it. A good rule to follow is:

What to avoid...

a. Have nothing to do with violent criminals

b. Have nothing to do with men with hair trigger tempers.

c. Have nothing to do with men who seem to disrespect women in general

d. Have nothing to do with men who seem to have no game plan for their lives and simply try to live off other ppl. (you'll be the one he'll try to live off soon)

e. Have nothing to do with any man who consistently gives you bad vibes

(that's your intuition trying to warn you of something.)

f. Have nothing to do with men who seem to think the world 'owes' them something. These are the type who go off because someone won't give them money or something. The world owes us nothing but a chance-the rest is up to US...

What to look for:

a. Look for men who generally have respect for all women whether he knows them or not.

b. Look for men who treat you like a lady, and have manners and kindness

c. Look for men who share your interests, and your MORALS.

d. Look for men who are good ppl, WHEN NO ONE ELSE IS WATCHING

e. Look for men who are ambitious, and motivated to do something with their life.....

I think you all get the picture. Even when he tries to fake it. Men are just not smart enough to fake it for long. All you have to do is open up those pretty eyes of yours and really SEE who he is......

Now what to do about the bm who make songs that are designed to put ww on a pedestal......

What sista's need to do is flip the script. Instead of worrying about ww having their massive egos' made bigger. We need to learn to fight fire with fire. Put a fine ass WM on the cover of a BW's magazine! Make a white boy song! Walk proudly down the street with your vanilla prince and stop giving a damn about the stares/glares from bm. Declare to the world, that we no longer care what bm think, just as the Asian women do. They (Asian women) are quick to let everybody know that they are looking for wm, and that they are OPEN! They never waste time worrying about what Asian men think, they simply do what's in their own best interests. And do you know that because of that thought process, there are over a MILLION marriages of WM and AW! The truth is wm marry out far more than ww! But many ppl do not realize this. And did you know that marriages between bw and wm, are the fastest growing IR union??? Well, they are. We need to follow the Asian sistas and do what's best for Us and stop worrying about the constant disrespect coming from bm. Show them by deed we are done. Many men tune a woman out when she's screaming and carrying on. He will not believe she means what she says until she cuts contact. Stop worrying about bm loving up on some wg. I told y'all before. Drive him to the wg's house and leave him there. Let her have him! Get your own swirl on and stop worrying about his. Put your focus and attention on WHAT YOU WANT IN LIFE-that's how you get it......

How the power of *WORDS* has affected black women!!!

The words we use (what we think) will make or break our lives-what are you saying to the world and yourself?.......

Many ppl continue to let their words do them in and then wonder why their lives are not what they would want them to be. The bible says, 'Life and death is in the power of the tongue'

What does that mean to you? I'll tell you what it means to me. It means that the words that come from your mouth, shape your life. It means those words are soooo powerful that they can even cause life to end! Many of you sistas are NOT where you want to be, or have what you want to have, or live the way you want to live today, because of the words you allow to cross your lips.....

Words have amazing power, but not many ppl realize how powerful they really are.

Example 1.

Did you know the entire Holocaust started out with Hitler ( a little German nobody) claiming he was the greatest ruler in Germany, and that he would restore Germany to it's former glory? He then proposed to do this, by eradicating all of Germany's primary problems-starting with the Jews. He started out calling the Jews vermin and other vile names. Soon ppl did not see ppl when they looked at Jews they saw vermin. Think how much easier it is to kill 6 million vermin than 6 million people! He progressed by saying that all the economic, political, and social problems that Germany faced were the fault of the Jews (vermin) At first ppl laughed at him, but as he spoke (and he was a master communicator) ppl began to listen. The jews were no longer seen as ppl. they were considered on the level with rats and roaches. Do you feel any compuctions about killing rats or roaches? Once they were viewed and accepted in this light, it was so much easier for the SS to 'exterminate' them, and the fate of the poor Jews was soon sealed.... How did such a thing happen? How could something so horrible have ever happened? It happened the ways things usually do, with words preceding actions....

Example 2.

Think about the recent demise in the black community...
If you remember the start of Hip hop, then you remember Run DMC, and how when it began, it was never misogynistic. It was electrifying, and it was good dance music, but misogyny was never a part of it. As it gained fame and popularity, other musicians (that title does not really fit) opted to take the easy way to fame and fortune. They began to engage in music designed to scintillate the senses and pander to the base instincts of the public. (anything to get to the money) The music grew increasingly malicious, and vile. With it grew more and more crimes against women -yet nobody seemed to anticipate or notice the connection! I remember Curtis Blow saying how uncomfortable he was with the direction the music was taking. I also remember how quickly he was shut down. The downward spiral had begun... Artists were getting paid, and they did not want to hear anything that might interrupt the sweet sound of money landing in their bank accts. Women who saw the writing on the wall and tried to intervene were accused of trying to keep brother's broke (Deloris Tucker anyone) Along the way, gang violence escalated, bm filled the jails, and bw and girls were more and more often the victim to bm who listened to these horrible lyrics day and night, and then decided to emulate them. What I am suggesting is that it is in no way surprising to me the horrible way bw are being treated by bm in this current day. Just look at the garbage they call music! Listen as they recite these lyrics on a continuous basis, and then look at the effect on their lives. No the music is NOT solely responsible, but it has exacerbated (to the 9th degree) a whole host of problems that already existed in the blk community. There is simply NO WAY you can listen to something day and night while constantly reciting it, and not have it affect you!!! What I am saying is NEVER BELIEVE THAT WORDS ARE JUST WORDS-WORDS HAVE POWER!!! Just look at how cold and misogynistic today's bm is compared to the ones from yesteryear! Look at how many bm are filling jails because of words, (rap music, keepin it real, down wit it, ride or die, etc etc, etc. Look at how we went from 'treat her like a lady' (temptations 80s) to now (you's a hoe, move bitch-get out the way, pimps up-hoes down)etc, etc, etc. The music today (if you can call this nonsensical lyrical trash music) is doing so much harm, it's unmeasurable.... Bw are not even being seen as living breathing ppl with hopes and dreams and feelings anymore. We've been relegated to horrific labels by the very men many of us have fought tooth and nail for. Because we have allowed this garbage(and other garbage) to penetrate our consciousness, we now have young men glorifying violence,glorifying jail, glorifying gangs, treating women like sexual toilets, sexual violence against women and on and on. Everything white America has enough sense to see is horrible, and wrong is glorified and uplifted in the bc. The more these despicable words are thrown at bw like verbal daggers, the greater the danger for bw and girls, the lower the self esteem of young girls, and the more deadly bm become. Think about the old days. Was it EVER this bad that you can remember? NO! Do you know what the primary change is: The Words used to describe bw grew more evil, more deadly, more hateful, and more threatening! And what happened? The resulting actions followed SUIT!!!!

Example 3. -final

Lets give a final example:

look at how the slogan "Nothin but a black man!" has affected relations, and attitudes in and out of the BC.....

As this chant/slogan gained popularity, many bw began to suffer the consequences.

Many bw began to allow bm to come to the table with nothing but a pulse, yet non-bm were often given the cold shoulder. After all, it was uncool to date white (forget that bm were doing it like it was going out of style.)

Wm were practically expected to turn hand flips to get a date with a sista, while bm had a harem of women chasing them, and bulging an already overblown ego. This little stupid saying had bm who looked like Flav thinking they were Morris chestnut. It's caused ww to run after bm as well (further bloating that big ego)

Ww began to think to themselves: If he's all that-then he should be with ME!!

It's interesting that bw only began this chant because they felt so many brothers suffered low self esteem due to racism, and they were hoping to alleviate the pain in any way they could. Many bw wanted bm to know that no matter how the world viewed them, we were still in their corner. Thus this chant began, and was quickly used against us. Many bm immediately began to believe they were too good for bw. (Never mind that 70% of the wealth, and 2/3 of all College degrees awarded to AAs -go to bw.) These little-so called insignificant words also slowed IR down for many bw. Some women refused to indulge (no matter how much they wanted to) and some actually began to believe the bullshit they were spouting (Nothing but a bm) They convinced themselves he had to be blk. There was no longer criterion for being a good man, husband, father, -just blk! Let me show you a few more ways this has hurt us.....

1. Bm began to show signs of open conceit, and along with it, contempt for other men-and BW!.

2. Bm became more disrespectful because they felt (knew) they could get away with it.

3. Bm became more misogynistic in word and deed, (and song) and showed more open disdain for bw.

4. Bm were able to do less and less in relationships, while demanding more and more...

5. With less and less demands on them, many bm began to show more and more signs of slothfulness and lackadaisical attitude toward everything. This began in their relationships, and expanded to include employment, education, parental responsibilities etc. I am not suggesting that a mere slogan started their downward spiral. I am suggesting that once again- it Exacerbated it.....

This is just the tip of the iceberg, but I wanted to bring attention to how this new low standard affected the men both black and white.

Now how did it affect wm?

1. Wm who were on the fence about asking bw out, opted for more 'open' women (usually Asian)

2. Wm who were already dating a bw, began to worry that she secretly wanted a brotha

3. Wm who were dealing with a lot to be with a bw, began to wonder why he was putting up with all this, when she probably wanted a bm all along.

4. Some wm who were strongly attracted to bw, 'gave up' and slid back to ww. etc, etc, etc.

5. Wm who were easily scared off, never asked a bw out to begin with, or were extrememely reluctant to, from then on....

The bottom line that I am trying to convey here, is that words are NEVER just words. Words = power, or helplessness. Words = wealth or poverty. Words = love or hate, and words = separation or unity....

Words are life and death. Don't' ever let anyone ever tell you that words don't matter.

Remember, before Wars, before Slavery, before the Holocaust..... there were the words that brought them about.....

BW- Stop the spoken/unspoken apologies!!!

This is Halle at the Guy's choice awards Kissing the ever revolting Jaime Foxx. The whole display felt like an unspoken apology to bm for loving a wm.... The other pic is Halle with her gorgeous S.O. Gabriel Aubrey

I, for the life of me cannot understand why some bw cannot accept the fact that they have a God-given right to love whomever they want, and that they do not have to apologize to the bc or to anyone else. I'm referring of course to Halle. but I've seen this behavior demonstrated by many sistas. They'll be happily involved with a non-bm and feel the need to hide, or downplay it. This is esp true when there are multiple bm around, or if they feel that they are under watch. This is totally unfair to the man you've committed to, as well as damaging to the relationship. You cannot expect a man to be proud to be with you, while you are demonstrating shame, or embarrassment in being with him. Would you let him get away with that mess??

Let me give my take on the Halle berry fiasco. Here is a very beautiful woman who has been through alot. We all know she was married to a man (Justice ) who just one day up and said, that he no longer wished to be married to her. Then of course we all know her second husband (Bonet) was a gold digger and a womanizer who cheated on her with anything that moved and sued her for an outrageous amount of money during the divorce. She has been in a relationship for the past few years with a white model named Gabriel. They have a little girl, and seem very happy, and much much in love. Finally she seems to have found some stability in her life. So why in the world would she jeopardize it with a stupid stunt like the one at the Guy's award show. For those of you who don't know. When she came up to receive her award she had a very very intimate kiss with Jaime Foxx and allowed him to actually brazenly fondle her rear on national TV???

Here are the words of one reviewer:

Ring The Alarm! Talk about hot, hot, hot. Jaime Foxx and Halle Berry in a lip-lock so hot, I'm sure Jaime is still trying to recover. The two were at the Spike TV's 2009 "Guys Choice Awards" when she received her award, Jaime made his move and let it be known what he thinks of Ms. Berry. I hope her honey-dip Gabriel isn't the jealous type. That kiss was simply delicious to look at. I need a glass of water!

Now I'm not sure if this is a publicity stunt or what. All I know is that this is not the behavior of a woman who is deeply in love with someone else, and that this is not respectful to the man she has committed to. I was utterly shocked to see this display. True she is a grown woman, and she certainly has the prerogative to act in any way she pleases, but this behavior is not prudent, appropriate, or conducive to a good relationship. I actually thought it came off looking desperate, and reeking of insecurity. But I guess it came her what she was desperately seeking. A momentary kinship, and common bond with bp, esp. bm. I absolutely love Halle. She's been my favorite actress for years, but I just thought this stunt was soooo beneath her. It almost felt like she was asking bm for forgiveness for having the temerity to put her own happiness first. Many times I've sensed an apology coming from her. For instance, when she was interviewed not too long ago, the reporter had the audacity to ask her why she was with a wm! She actually answered the question!!! Her responses was along the lines of "I tried brothers- I tried!! I Tried!! (insert nervous laugh) Her uncomfortable response only served to embolden the reported to delve further into her relationship.

See right there, she along with other bw, were being told they had no RIGHT to date/mate and marry white. What gives him the right to ask her that? Nobody needs to justify their relationship, including us. It seems to me when it's bm being interviewed about dating out, the sentiment from the reporters seems to be: Yeah, he likes her better'n yall-so just deal with it! But when it's a bw/non man the sentiment seems to be: How could you allow yourself to be defiled by a wm- and you better give a good damn answer -or your sister card will be revoked! I never allow anyone whether they approve or not to make me ashamed of my choice. I have a right to my own happiness. We all do. And Halle needs to understand that she does as well. If anything she should have given them an answer that would have really pissed them off. like- "Because he's the best man I've ever had!" or- " What! -he's white-oh my God he tricked me! The point is, she should not have allowed herself to feel guilt over a choice she made in her own best interest. None of us should. The fact is just as bw have to let go of bm (because we don't own them) They will subsequently have to let go of us-because they do not own us either. Ms Berry has no need to prove how black she is, or how down she is, or how much she loves bm. She has nothing to apologize for: And neither do any of you......

When ppl ask about your man, look them in the eye and answer proudly. Hold his hand proudly and walk with your head high and tall. Never fidget nervously or display nervous habits (biting nails, stroking hair, playing with purse straps. etc.) You have nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. You have a right to love whomever you love. If ppl sense an apology from you, they will waste no time trying to inundate you with guilt. That's why it is very important to work any guilt feelings out before you begin to introduce your mate around. Not only will they sense the guilt-embarrassment-apology. But he will as well, and it will often cause internal problems in the relationship (Even if he does not mention it at that time) It will still be there coming between you. So don't allow anyone to make you feel the need to apologize, the only thing

you should be sorry about is putting yourself last, and waiting so long to step out of the box....