Use the man-plan to find him!

2 Examples of women who were looking for a certain type of man, and found exactly what they wanted-and married him...

Finding him is knowing what you are looking for!

Many women cannot seem to find their ideal man. But if you ask them what he is like, or for some kind of physical description of him, and they cannot tell you. Let me tell you ladies a secret. You get and move toward what you focus on! You do not have to take my word for this. I want you to give it a try. Pick something for the next 5 days. Anything. Lets say you pick Nissan sentra cars in a certain color. I want you to write down how many you see in the next 5 days. You are going to be amazed at how many you suddenly see. Where did they come from? The fact is they were there all along, but you had not ordered your subconscious to notice them.

Once you do this experiment, and prove to yourself we get what we focus on, I want you do it for the ideal man that you are looking for. I want you to make a man plan. What this is, is simply a list of qualities that your ideal man would possess along with a vague physical description. The reason the physical description is hazy, is because his looks are secondary. The main thing is the find the man with the qualities, you seek. Following is a brief example. This plan has worked for thousands of women. (I did not invent it-I found out it's been used for a long while)

Let's say this is Betty's plan:

Man plan (Date)

My ideal man is 5.7-5.9 and has dark hair. He is attractive, but no Gerard Butler. His most prominent feature, is his scintillating personality. He makes over 60k per year, and enjoys his work. He is a physical worker, and enjoys working hard, and playing hard. He enjoys taking me out and having family get togethers at home. He is loving, kind, devoted and a great father. He is humorous and generous, and loves children (even if they are not biologically his) The most important personality trait, I am looking for is that he is an optimist and sees the world as a happy place. I have physical disabilities, so he needs to be very patient, kind, and compassionate. etc.

This is just an example of Betty's plan. This really does work! But you must write it, and you must use it. How do you use it? You eliminate the men who don't match it. Don't eliminate him if he does not match the physical, that's not so important. Only eliminate him if he differs greatly from the fundamental qualities you are looking for. Everyday spend 15 minutes 3x per day just visualizing how happy you will be with him and how much he will add to your life. Really get into your visualization. See it, feel it, almost smell his Cologne. There is power in clarity. Knowing what you want is the absolutely easiest way in the world to find it! Know what kind of work (or type) he'll do, his fitness level, his income level, his parenting skills, his devotion levels etc. Write down what you want, VISUALIZE it, and then get out there and start meeting people. I guarantee he will not be knocking on your door. You are going to have to go out and find him! Now if you look like Beyonce or Angelina, hey-he might just come to your door. But if you are like me, Pretty, but not movie-star beautiful, you are going to have to go out and find him. Go to places you usually don't go. Like hockey games, golf places, auto shows and games. Someone told me that she went to a tennis game, and every bw there was with a wm! That sounds like an ideal place to me. Listen every town has a diner or two where the police, parole officers, and fire men go for lunch-find it!

Last year, coming back from AC, my sister and I stumbled on a quiet little diner that was filled with state trooper cars. We thought they'd had some kind of emergency. We almost left but no one was coming out, so we tentatively went in. Sure enough, it was filled with happily eating, tall, handsome, white, state troopers! I went back to town( this was right outside of town) and told every single woman I knew who was looking for a man. 3 women I know so far have gone and found husbands just by having lunch at that diner everyday, until they found the man they were looking for! Every woman can do this. There are places where the men congregate and you can do a little research and find them. Use your man plan, concentrate on what you are looking for, VISUALIZE, and find HIM!........

And then write and tell us all about it..... Thank y'all for tuning in -see you next post.... Read New Story!! The girls of Hollingsworth in:

White chocolate preferred

Someone please explain John McCain to me...

John McCain with and without wife.....

Obama's convention: a few months back....



I posted the following article because it's just so funny to me that this man can get away with all the misrepresentations that he does. Even his own campaign is starting to admit he has a bit of a problem with the truth.... This is just the latest..... The following article was written by Lee Ward, and published earlier this month....

McCain Lies Again About Joe the Plumber, Blames Obama
Posted by Lee WardPublished: Oct 17, 08 06:13 PM
Not only did John McCain introduce "Joe the Plumber" to America in this week's Presidential debate, and proceed to lie to America about Obama's tax platform using "Joe the Plumber" as an example -- John McCain is now lying again, telling America that the resulting press attention paid to the guy that John McCain himself shoved into the spotlight is all Barack Obama's fault.
First, the facts...
FACT: John McCain first brought up "Joe the Plumber" during the debate, not Barack Obama.
FACT: During the debate John McCain mentioned "Joe the Plumber" 21 times, fueling a media frenzy to find out more about this guy. When discrepancies turned up, they dug deeper, exposing more information about Joe.
Obama had nothing to do with it, and yet John McCain continues to lie saying he did.
The strange tale of Joe the Plumber unfolded a bit more on the campaign trail Friday when Senator John McCain used a rally here to defend the Ohio man he made a national star of by focusing on him in Wednesday night's presidential debate.
The man, Joe Wurzelbacher, gained fame after he met Senator Barack Obama recently and expressed concerns that Mr. Obama's tax plans would hurt him if he ever became wealthy enough to buy his own plumbing business. Mr. McCain seized on the encounter at the debate to highlight the fact that Mr. Obama's tax plan -- which would cut taxes on 95 percent of Americans -- would raise the taxes on small businesses. The Obama campaign countered that Mr. Wurzelbacher in fact stood to get a bigger cut under their plan.
But under the glare of the ensuing media spotlight, reporters found that Mr. Wurzelbacher did not actually have a plumbing license, and that he actually owed some back taxes. Mr. McCain leapt to his defense here Friday in a rally at Florida International University -- and made another leap by suggesting that the Obama campaign was somehow maligning the plumber whose vote Mr. Obama has sought at a campaign stop in Ohio.
"The response from Senator Obama and his campaign yesterday was to attack Joe," Mr. McCain said. "People are digging through his personal life, and he has TV crews camped out in front of his house. He didn't ask for Senator Obama to come to his house. He wasn't recruited or prompted by our campaign. He just asked a question. And Americans ought to be able to ask Senator Obama tough questions without being smeared and targeted with political attacks."
It's the kind of lies the right wing blogsphere tells on a daily basis, but you'd expect more from someone who wants to be President -- wouldn't you?
Not if it's the desperate, erratic John McCain, who is now seeing his latest effort blowing up in his face, just as the campaign stunt "suspending his campaign" blew up in his face as well.
The press knows John McCain is just flat out lying to the American people on a regular basis (and so is Sarah Palin as a matter of fact) so naturally when John McCain uses a specific person as an example of someone who'd be hurt by Obama's tax plans, the press follows up and fact checks what McCain said.
Well, turns out ol' Joe the Plumber misrepresented himself, and John McCain misrepresented Joe and is wrong again. As a result there have been numerous press reports detailing the misinformation that was revealed by McCain's spotlight on ol' Joe the Plumber.
It must be time to blame Obama!
John McCain has turned into a pathetic figure, someone who lies, then blames others when his lies blow up on the front pages and national TV news programs.
It's bad enough that he's making bad choices, such as using Joe the Plumber as an example without checking for accuracy first, but to blame Obama for the fallout which resulted from John McCain trying to turn Joe the Plumber into an American hero is just plain disgusting.
McCain and Palin have literally thrown away their integrity, and are now lurching from one desperate, pathetic attempt to grab attention to the next.

Is it my imagination, or this the most erratic, poorly run campaign in the land?
And why is everything being blamed on Obama? Someone help me understand because I am completely stumped. This man lied about asking Obama to put off the debate. About the lipstick on the pig thing, about having won numberous awards, and honors from vets, (when a vet challenged him on national TV, he simply kept lying) He lied about Obama wanting to teach Sex Ed to little kids, about Obama being a terrorist, a communist, and now a socialist! His lies never seem to end!

But putting his misrepresentations aside, someone please tell me how a person can parade a pregnant teenager across the American stage and your chances for office not plummet? (Palin)

Please explain to me how you have have no college degree and even think about running for President of the United States (McCain)

How can you graduate at the bottom of your class 295/299 and barely make it out of HS, yet constantly sneer and roll your eyes at your opponent like you are too good to be in the same room with him? (McCain)

How can your wife get away with being addicted to pain killers, and even steal them from her own organization and have the story buried? (Cindy McCain)

And lastly how can you and your running mate lie on a constant and continual basis about any and everything and still have such a damn good shot of getting in the white house? And lastly, what the heck is this mess about REAL Americans and and patriotism. Are we not all Americans? And don't we all love this country-regardless of it's problems? I'm just wondering. and I welcome rebuttals. I think it's obvious I'm voting for Obama, but McCain supporters I welcome you to try to change my mind........

(No replies with McCain banners will be posted)

Debunking BW Stereotypes

Some Sistas who broke/break the myths. Michelle is brazen, competent and accomplished, yet never arrogant and condescending.(Ie-never a bitch) Tia is the picture of beauty and grace. And Aaliyah was sexy, confident, and gorgeous-but never sleazy... All of these sistas are/were fabulous yet none of them fit the stereotypes ppl normally associate to BW.......

I was standing at a mini mart one day when I saw an attractive youngish bw sitting in a car to my left. She was waiting for someone to pull out so that she could pull into the spot. A moment later the police pulled into the parking area, and I could have sworn I saw a fearful look flit across the woman's face. She was staring intently into the mirror at them and making no attempt to exit the car. Her license plate hung precariously to the side, and I saw one of the white officers glance at it. One look at her fear-filled face and he cast his partner a we-need-to-check-her-out-glance. His partner nodded and picked up the radio phone. I watched from afar as they got an answer, and approached her car. The woman had an Oh-God-I'm-caught look on her face. she sat rigid as they approached. The first officer asked her to exit the car, his voice was guarded, and both officers had their hands on their weapons. He told her the license plate did not match the car and asked her for her information in a no nonsense cold voice. She broke down and admitted that she had just purchased the car from auction and did not have any of the driver information she was required to carry. But what was significant was that, when she spoke her dark attractive face and voice were soft and vulnerable. She looked like a frightened kitten, and I watched, as both officers relaxed and moved their hands away from their weapons. They questioned her at length and then told her they had no choice but to arrest her because the plate on the car had been reported as stolen. Me, and several other people watched in surprise, as their usual cold police demeanor's, gave way to sympathy, as the woman started to cry. The shorter officer rushed to assure her that he was sure it was a mix up and they would straighten it out at the station. While the other officer handcuffed her in front instead of in back because he said it would be more comfortable. He then told her she certainly did not look like a criminal, and not to cry because he would make sure she could sign on her own recognizance and she would be out that night. They both seemed taken back by her demeanor. I think with her being a black woman, they had expected her to 'get ghetto' and get out of the car cursing, screaming, and threatening. Instead, she had gotten out as a lady. Soft spoken, quiet, demure and classy. They both looked stunned, but they treated her with kid gloves, and one even gave her a tissue to wipe her face. Which she was able to do, because her hands were bound in front. Two bm near me complained bitterly. "They ain't never treated me like that!" One spat out angrily. "Me neither!" The other agreed. "Them white boys kin treat the b*tches good as hell- cause they got somethin we ain't got!" Me, and another bw, glared at them and moved away. " I guess there's power in breaking stereotypes, " She whispered to me. I nodded in agreement and watched as the officers put the woman gently in the squad car and drove away. I wondered how the officers would have responded had the woman been ghetto or street as some ppl call it. When they first approached her car after speaking to dispatch, they had been no-nonsense and cold, but by the time they actually put her into the squad car, they were almost apologizing for having to arrest her. This is incredible because she was driving with no insurance, no registration and with stolen plates!!! I wondered how many bw everyday bring out the worst in ppl because they play into stereotypes ppl have about bw, instead of working to debunk them. I remember another time at the mall. I was with my sister and my white Aunt Tina. My sister had a disagreement with a bw sales clerk over an evening gown. My sister was looking at it, when the woman became irate and accused her of smudging it. My sister asked her where the smudge was. The woman said "You were about to smudge it with your lip stick. You black girls come in here and look and look- you don't plan to buy a damn thing -so why don't you just leave!" With that, she snatched the dress from my sister's stunned hands and carefully examined it for smudges. My sister and I both had our mouths open in shock. Unfortunately for her, my white Aunt was near, and had heard everything. She came over immediately and cursed the woman out so bad, I was afraid we would be arrested. But when security realized It was my white Aunt cursing her out, they looked shocked but walked quickly away. I was prepared to call for her manager, or to get her name so I could report her. The point is, as a bw, I know I cannot go around cursing ppl out-because that is the behavior the world seems to expect of me. And I know that it is incumbent upon me to eradicate that type of ideology. I think it behooves us as bw to all focus on ways to eliminate stereotypes because most of the ones about us are extremely negative. Therefore, we do ourselves a grave disservice by confirming, and strengthening them. The day this happened, I watched as other ww in the store gave the clerk a You-deserve-that look. They glanced at my Aunt's color and her public faux-pas was immediately forgiven. Something that would have never happened had it been me or my sister cursing the woman out. We would have been labeled (angry black women) and immediately had trouble with security. Let's not stack the deck any higher against ourselves. Let's learn to behave (esp. in public settings) in a demure and lady like manner. The angry black woman stereotype is especially damaging because it takes on almost male characteristics. And in response ppl engaging in this type of behavior are usually treated in a very harsh manner consistent with the way one would treat an enraged male. I got confirmation of this, one summer when I enrolled my daughter in a summer program, and at the last minute the program decided to fill the left over slots with low income kids. They were putting on a play, and my daughter got the part of Rosa Parks that another little girl desperately wanted. The little girl sat screaming and crying and refusing to participate or stop screaming. Finally in desperation, the program called her mother and asked her to come for the child. The mother ( a tall dark bw) no sooner comes through the door before she physically attacks the small ww counselor-for making her daughter cry!!! The counselor was knocked over a chair and grabbed by the neck, and literally choked to death before the other counselors could pull the woman off! The woman then let loose with a strings of profanity and mentioned (by name) all the body parts they could suck! She did not care how she made all bw look. She did not care that her child was now excluded from the program. She didn't even seem to care that the police were called, until they bodily forced her to the ground. This type of behavior is an exercise in stupidity. It reinforces antiquated stereotypes and beliefs and does great harm to us all. The poor counselor had done nothing to this woman's child, yet she came in like a raging bull and attacked her. The other counselors stood around talking about how they never should have allowed the low income segment into the program-because they never knew how to act. I really don't think it's income based. I know I've been low and high income and no matter what bracket I've been in, I have always tried to carry myself with class and grace. We are shooting ourselves in the foot to ever behave like this animalistic fashion. I remember thinking, why would she act like that? It only culminated in her being thrown out of the program and taken to jail. How did it benefit her? Did she get some sort of perverted pleasure from being seen as gutter trash? Because that was the way the ppl were looking at her, like she was a wild animal that could not control her instincts. Ladies this is ludicrous. Don't engage in behavior that worsens your life and your image. Image is just too important. Perception is almost as good as reality. In other words, ppl will treat you better, as their expectation of you rises. Never debase or bring down the image of bw. The effects of this behavior will surpass just your life and affect bw the world over including your daughters, sisters, mothers, Aunts etc.....

WW! - If you don't want black children-please don't sleep with black men!!!

Please, Please, Please, if you know you harbor racist tendencies or feelings-please do not bring innocent children into it!!

I wrote this post in response to several young women who have written to me begging for help. All of these young ladies are the product of ww/bm relationships/marriages. I am only enclosing one story as the others do not want to discuss their plights publicly. Please read the following story and give this wonderful young woman your insight and compassion... and please tell your ww friends to please think about the children that she might bring into this world before she lays down with bm because it seems to be in fashion.....

Hi Sara,

I really love your blog. I'm writing to you to tell you of my experience with a neo hip fake wannabe down -white woman. She is also my mother. Twenty five years ago, she decided to try the black experience and she seduced some young 17 year old black kid into bed with her (she was 25) She wound up pregnant and my nightmare began. She came from a very racist family and they called me every name in the book! I won't begin to try to count how many times I was called n*gger, jungle bunny etc. It went on and on. Her mother would hide me in the closet when company came and beat me if I cried. She, my womb donor was weak and uncaring. She told me to tell her white boyfriends I was the maid's child. Except this trailer trash family never had a maid! I hated this entire family and wanted nothing more than to get away from them. But the father did not know me and I assumed, he did not want me either. But God is merciful, one day he met us at the park. He and my mother began to talk( I think he was just being friendly) but he looked at me, and I knew, that he knew I was his. His eyes got big and he asked my 'mother' about me. She said that he had knocked her up and messed up her life. He ran back to the car and told his family. That night they all showed up at the house. I was in the closet crying because mom had some white people over so I could not come out. I heard shouting and swearing and my mother lying about where I was. I started to cry in terror. Suddenly the door was yanked open and my father stood there. When he saw me in that dirty closet, wearing rags and eating three day old bread, he began to cry. My black grandma snatched me into her big warm arms, then she turned and cursed my white family out. My grandma took me that night, and I have never been happier. I now have a real family that truly loves me. I cannot tell you how wonderful that is. I'm grown now but I still remember that scared little girl on the closet floor. I still remember being told if I had been white I would be good enough to eat with them. I still remember the pain. I just want to say to ww who want to try something new, PLEASE think about the children you will bear. I have 2 friends who have black moms and white fathers and they had warm wonderful lives, I also have a friend like me with a white mom who was ashamed of black and she had a horrible life. Unfortunately for her, her dad was no better than her mom. He did not care how horrible her mom treated her, he just wants to sleep with white women. He has left two other young girls in similar situations. She told me, her mom actually tried to paint her face white when she was young before she took her out with her! Candace, my friend still cries when she thinks about it. We both think WW should not have black children unless they are really, really, ready and not racist at all. If you have a black mom and your dad is a racist pig at least you have your mom to love and protect you. But if you are like us, and you have no dad and a racist or uncaring mom, then you have nobody. And it's a sad lonely world when you have nobody. Thank God for my black family. I try to be a family to Candace because she has nobody. Sometimes she seems so sad when we are with Megan, and Julie, their moms would take a bullet for them (so would their white dads) but she only has us girls... Please Sara, tell ww not to sleep with bm if they don't want black babies.....

Dear ________________

I am so very sorry for all you have endured. But I am eternally grateful you could count on your father and his family. I know the blessing that family is, yet I also know how much racism can hurt. I remember a time when my baby brother, Pedro was about 3, and a half years old. He is half Spanish and my sister was angry at his father. She called him a spic, and said that Puerto Ricans could not be trusted. I want to point out that she was really, really angry and normally did not talk this way. Anyway, I remember it like it was yesterday because my precious little baby brother began to cry! He looked up at us and said "If you hate Spanish people then you hate me because I'm Spanish too! With that he buried his curly little head in his hands and cried. Both my sister and I began to cry. We both love him dearly and hated to see him hurt. She apologized profusely and told him that she was wrong. She has, to my knowledge, never made another racial slur against Spanish people.You see she hurt someone she loved dearly, and that's enough to stop most people in their tracks. Most of the time love does concur all, but I guess not always. I'm so sorry about your mom, but it truly is her loss because you sound like a fantastic person and she has really missed out. Pray for her and pity her because you were a precious gift and she was too foolish to see it...

May God bless you.....Sara

Sorry Becky, We don't care- We're too busy loving WM!!!

More and more, Sista's are too content to be angry.....Love is just too sweet to be bitter....

Sista's are REALLY changing! It's so wonderful to see and experience! The following letter illustrates what I am talking about. In the past, when ww have tried valiantly to make bw jealous, all she had to do was simply let it be known that she was dating/marrying/or seeing a bm. That was the past. Things are definitely changing. With more and more bw dating/mating and marrying wm. We finally seem to be coming to the point where we no longer give a damn!! HOORAY!!!

I liken it to if you have a beautiful home and you meet someone bragging about their beautiful home, you will probably be happy for them, but not impressed. If, on the other hand, you live in a shack and someone is bragging about their beautiful home, you may be angry and jealous because it's something you desperately want and feel you have no way to attain it. The same can be said for men. The more you sistas mate and date out with quality, worthwhile men the less impressed, affected or angry you will be about ww with bm. You should in fact (NOT GIVE A DAMN!) at all regardless. But if you have a good man in your life, you will have no trouble projecting this indifferent air.

I have noticed that many ww complain about bw being mean and evil and having attitudes about seeing them with bm. And may I add that 2 of my 3 white Aunts are some of the meanest women you've ever met. Especially Aunt Tina. ( But I love them all dearly) Anyway, like I said many ww complain about bw having attitudes about seeing them with bm, but will do everything but a somersault to get a bw's attention when she is with a bm, and then get agitated if she is ignored! I am convinced many ww like this drama!!! It sounds crazy because they are supposed to be so docile and easygoing, but I think that's just another false myth. Many ww WANT to see bw get riled up and angry about them being with bm. It seems to feed their hungry egos. It's not working too well anymore, because more and more sista's are starting to realize most bm are definitely not worth getting all upset over, and that non-blk mates seem to be making much better husbands/fathers these days anyway. Read the following letter and see if you believe this woman was really asking an innocuous question, or if, (like me) you believe she was just trying to provoke a response from bw in order to feed her overinflated ego.

The most significant part of this post however, is that almost all the bw on the board made it clear they did not care anymore!! Go y'all, in fact some were dating white and made it clear they were perfectly content. This is the power of living your life YOUR way.......Read the following.....

Question- to panel from agitated becky.

Why do black woman hate me becuase I am dating a successful black man.?
When ever my fiancee and I go out to the club the woman hate on me because I'm white and he's a successful black man he's an engineer. Is it just pure and simple jealousy2 weeks ago
It's not just me assuming they hate me they have made comments and given me dirty looks like I have done something wrong and taken another man from them or something. I dearly love this man why can't they just butt out.

Comment 1 (WM)
it really isnt towards you, its towards him. it seems from what i have heard from my black female friends is that when a black man becomes successful, he ignores black women and purposely seeks out white women which tells them that they are not good enough. what they feel the "white man" has done to them (male and female) they are reiterating by dating white. like a trophy. my wife is black and we actually get dirty looks from white people, male and female but not black people. weird. we cannot help who we fall in love with. ignore them. act like they are not even there and enjoy your man.
:
Comment 2 (bw)
most successful black men date and marry black women. only 9% of black men are with white women. it's a small percentage. but. "why do black woman hate me becuase I am dating a "successful" black man?" "he's also very "handsome." - maybe because you WANT black wmen to get riled up...it seems you are looking for some sort of validation. imo your question seems to want controversial answers...you know what im sayin?...edit: handsome? successful? you know what i read your Q again with the additional details and i couldnt help myself. seriously. i find it pathetic. admit it you just want to get black women riled up. YOU KNOW black women are having trouble with successful black men. (not true for all of them but the majority) which is why this Q was asked in the first place. damn you are one nasty as hell cavebitch arent you?

Comment 3 (BW)
Is this a serious question? I'm just gonna assume it is and answer by saying that Black women are often given the shitty end of the stick when it comes to dating. Many of us sistas feel like Black men are all we have left.That said, I could care less who you, or anyone else dates..Because I am a Black woman who chooses NOT to limit herself to Black men=)

Comment 4 (BW)
Im black and a woman, Sorry im I sposed to care about someone i dont know and couldnt give a fig about...Errr guess tht slipped your mind, that many people couldnt give a toss wether u were dating a zebra or a iguana..or a black, pink, purple person....!

Comment 5 (BW)
I'm black and I wouldn't care cuz I don't date black men anyway. too many bad experiences. But it's probably the same reason white women glare, stare, and scoff when they see me with my gorgeous white husband. ;-PYou shouldn't let it bother you.I don't.

Comment 6 (WW)
it probably has nothing to do with blackness, and you are probably just being paranoid, i wouldn't worry

Comment 7 (WW)
I think you think to highly of yourself, dear.

This is such a welcome change from what you normally read. I see more and more sistas waking up and its wonderful. The thing to keep in mind is that many times ww are just trying to get a reaction by doing things like flipping the hair, grabbing his arm, kissing all the sudden etc. It's almost comical to watch. I have no problem with it at all. But what I do have a problem with is when it's in reverse, bw are often harassed, intimidated, and even threatened to keep them from exercising their own options. BM can be with their coveted ww and still try to give the bw 'death glares'. WW can be quite nasty as well, when they want. Apparently it's news to them that wm ARE very much attracted to us! Even as the numbers grow, they will still claim it's just a few BW, and only the sistas who resemble Halle are sought by WM. They could not be more wrong! Self delusion is soooo funny! Bottom line, we have no problem with you dating/mating or marrying Tyrone, Becky. We just hope you can handle us dating/mating /marrying Bob, Billy, Dennis, Trevor etc.....

The hidden lie that keeps some sistas away from white men....

Don't let hidden falsehoods keep you from a fantastic husband, and father for your babies....

Alot more sistas are dating/mating out, but alot still are clinging to a bygone past. And worried about how a wm will fit into her life. Sometimes the reason bw have not stepped off the platform, are hidden, and unspoken.....

Between the blatant disrespect, baby mama drama, WW worship, and man-sharing, I think we sistas have some damn good reasons for dating/marrying out! I just wonder what will happen when these relationships are as common as bm/ww relationships are now? How do you think the world will react when black female-white male marriages explode- and why the sudden increase now?
As you may know. White male/black female marriages have increased 171%!!! Versus the opposite which are increasing at only half that rate. Now yes, there are certainly more bm/ww marriages, but many of them are based on false principals, which is why they often don't last. (such as pissing bw off, trophy status, false myths of ww superior beauty, or bm having super-sized penises)

(psst BM DO NOT HAVE EXTRA LARGE PENISES-THAT IS JUST A MYTH-and has absolutely no basis in reality!!!

Basically we all know they (bm) have therefore proven themselves to be far less likely to succeed, or even try to be good fathers for their children. I read recently that nearly 4/5 of the biracial children in foster care are the children of black fathers and white mothers! Apparently when the man leaves, or no longer wants to be bothered the kids are put in foster care by their mothers who have no intentions of taking on the hardships of raising a black child. I also read the children least likely to be in foster care are the mixed children of white men and Asian women. They also seem to have the longest lasting marriages. What is significant however, is that black women/white men are right behind them on both counts! Their children are the 2nd least likely to be in foster care and their marriages are the 2nd most likely (of mixed marriages) to survive!

There are many, many excellent reasons to marry white men, but the fact that they seem to believe so strongly in marriage is one of my very favorite reasons. That and the fact that for the most part they are very devoted fathers are big pluses for me. Especially knowing how many sistas are trying to raise their children alone. The main obstacle seems to me, to be bw worrying about how bm will react .(And yes, they are often bitter) And worrying that you will have to give up good sex! This is ridiculous, but many bw are worried due to the lies and misrepresentations going around, that wm are not good in bed and that they are abnormally 'small' in that department. Ladies, let me tell you how this works to your advantage. Just think of what ww experience when they fall happily into bed with bm only to learn it was just a myth about the super big size! Not only is she likely to be bitterly disappointed (because she was expecting something totally unrealistic) but he is likely to be upset and self-conscious as well. He knows he cannot measure up to what she's been fantasizing about, and he can not bs his way out of it! Since wm are outpacing BM in the boardroom, the halls of education, and careers, all he has is this tired, antiquated myth to hang his self esteem on. This is why he will fight tooth and nail to keep it going. The truth is, BM are NOT bigger, and certainly not better in bed than WM!! Oops, guess I let the cat out of the bag. The truth is: It's about the person, not the race! But much more than that. I think it's more about how compatible you are with that person, and whether you two click. I decided to get more than just my opinion on this. I've talked to several friends interracially married to white men, to get a fix on this, and they all swear their husbands are great in bed. No, you will not have to give up good sex if you are with a WM!! I don't know where that rumor started, but it's just not true.

However, it will be a bit different because yes, it really is sort of pink, and so the hell what! Tell me something, who cares what color it is, as long as it works? I don't and you shouldn't either. To me that is a non-issue, I just don't give a damn about something so trivial. It's also weird because I don't think I have ever heard bm complain or express concern that the ww was 'pink'- Yet, some of you sistas seem so worried about what color it is!! (lord have mercy!)

Let that silly mess go, and act like adults. After all pink is a very pretty color! ha ha.

Making love is about (or supposed to be about) the giving and exchanging of affection for each other. When did it become a contact sport? Stop allowing it to turned into a graded exercise! If he is good to you, If he provides what you are looking for, if he is a good father to the children, and makes you feel special-then I guarantee you will become 'hot' for him, and the sex will be great!

How can I say this? Because for women, sex starts the minute you two start to interact-not the minute you hit the bedroom. For women it is about her feeling loved, secure, protected, and cherished! These things mean so much more to us than 'how many times he can go' or how big 'it is' or how fast he can make us 'come'. Ladies, I think we all can relate to either you or a friend of yours who was in a relationship with a man who was 'technically good' but not worth a damn. I'm sure you all noticed how after awhile sex was the last thing she wanted from him! You see he was not being good OUT OF BED! And when a man is not good out of bed, it does not make a damn bit of difference how 'so called good' he is in it! Because the woman will be turned off -and unable to enjoy sex with him! Sex starts in the mind!!! Did you hear me? Let me say that again. Sex starts in the mind! All the 'techniques in the world cannot make it good, if she feels used, misunderstood, ignored, hurt, angry, lonely. etc. The best way a man can be a really good lover to a woman is to treat her right out of bed, and treat sex as an expression of love and not a graded exercise!

And this is why WM are usually the best lovers. They are far more selfless and loving in bed. They are usually far more concerned with whether you are pleased, and satisfied.....

So just relax and learn to laugh at the silly little reasons we humans worry about insipid things. The important thing is a good man who loves, honors, and cherishes you. Stop worrying about silly myths and old wives tales. WM can be great lovers, like anyone else. But the more important thing to remember is most of them also make great friends, husbands and daddies!

White men don't want you-and other lies.....

CHOOSE!!! -You can be lonely and unfulfilled, or have hot, steaming love! The choice is yours. Decide what you want, and choose the path that will give it to you....

This was posted on a site geared toward bw, by a bm. Ladies, it's very important for you to learn to recognize one of the many voices of manipulation. This man pretended to be interested in bw, and concerned about their welfare. I can assure you his real concern was for bm only. A thousand times per day we are bombarded with the message that our only solace, companionship, and refuge must come from the arms of a bm. This is so untrue, I get so tired of sistas asking me if wm really like bw! They are so beaten down and indoctrinated into societal lies that they cannot see what is right before them! Yes, many wm most certainly do like bw. Do not believe the hype. Read the following letter from this bm and see if you can spot the many ways sistas are being manipulated into believing wm don't want them, then I will come back in and tell you how to easily snare a good wm.....

By Swade:
Do white men for the MAJORITY find black women attractive? For the most part...no. I have a lot of white friends and few of them talk about being attracted to black women. I'll get the occasional "Beyounce looks good" or "Tyra Banks is hot"..but for the most part..white men don't find black women attractive Threre's a video explaining all this on you tube. Not all Black women have attitudes, but black women in a whole are percieved that way by other races...including her own black men. Think about it..if a black man can't deal with one's attitude..what makes you think a white man can.I know what's coming next.."well, a wouldn't have a attitude with a white man as I would with a brotha". Lets be serious. If white men liked black women as much as the "claim"..why aren't black wmen and white men marriages higher than 5%. Keep in mind..their is a greater population of white males than black males and/or black females. Basically saying...there is a small population of white men who would date black women.Am I saying black women aren't desirable...No. They are..but they are more so desired by black men than any other race. So when you hear black women talk about the "dating white man movement"..you have to consider one thing. "A white man wanting you"
So the question is..where are all these whitemen "supposedly" wanting blk women.

Yes, many wm most certainly do like bw. Do no believe the hype. I think I have told you ladies before but it certainly bears repeating. Never trust someone to tell you how go get out of a ditch, if he benefits by you staying in it! Bm benefit by bw staying lonely, confused, and vulnerable. (IE, easy prey) They well almost NEVER tell you how to attract wm or any other kind. They will also rarely marry bw, and try to keep her for use in their harem, with lies and deceptions. They do not have a sista's best interest at heart, she therefore will never gain from their advice. I, on the other hand, want you all to be happily married, and procreating. The last thing I, and others like me want is for you all to be sad, lonely, and unfulfilled. When it comes to wm, know that many, many wm want you. More wm want bw, than there will ever be enough bw to fill the order. Many more are simply open to a woman of Any color who is a good companion, loving, easy to talk to, and open. Many of you sistas looking for men, are NOT OPEN! You are still afraid of what the bc might say, and your body language/tone of voice is giving you away. It always has and it always will! That is why it is sooooo important to practice being comfortable with any, and everyone. I guess this is easier for me since I came up in a military family and lived all over the US. But with practice, anyone can learn to be comfortable with a variety of people. Just learn to be open. I will tell you a secret that may make this easier. Many men cannot talk to other men about serious subjects in their lives for fear of looking weak. He desperately wants someone he can tell all his secrets to, but many times there is no one who he can trust enough. (especially for Alpha males) Therefore, he is as my grandmother used to say, "ripe for the pickin" You see, just like bm often don't appreciate bw (many times) Most ww don't appreciate their wm either. They are many times (not always) spoiled, and self interested. They want to talk about their day, their dreams, their fears, their aspirations with no thought as to his. Most all men need to desperately talk about the things going on in their lives, just like women. The difference is that we usually have a close friend or relative we can talk to about everything. They most often don't. And if he has a lot of stress or strain in his life, he will need someone to talk to all the more. That means he needs a discreet woman in his life, who he can tell all his deepest hopes and dreams to. Know that if you can suck a man's dream, hopes, fears from his mind, you can easily suck his heart right from his chest! Ask any secretary (no matter how plain) who has stolen a married man. She will tell you that she became his sounding board. He talked to her about EVERYTHING and then he could not seem to be without her. See he had TALKED his way into love with her. Most men don't have affairs because their wives get fat! No, they have affairs because their wives stop listening! Like I said, since he usually can only share so much with his male friends, this leaves him with no one to talk to! Can you see how vulnerable he is at this point? Now, I am not telling you ladies this so you can go out and steal married men! Please don't do that! I am telling you this so you can go out and snag single men. Be open, be friendly, be calm, rationale and have a great ear. Of course you know to look nice, clean, and be in reasonably good shape. but it's much more important to have a pleasant, easy to know personality. Really hear when he's talking to you, don't just wait for him to shut up- so you can talk. (this is what many people do-and it's very irritating) Most of all, don't believe the bull about wm not wanting bw. WM, like most men, want women who want them! You have a thousand times greater chance of pulling a good wm just by being friendly and open, as you do by ignoring him and being cold. If he has never dated a bw, he will be doubly fearful of crossing that line. So if you see him teetering on the edge, reach out a bit and snatch him over-You'll both be glad you did. But whatever you do, know that you are wonderful, wanted, and if you want one-they are definitely there for the taking......Please don't listen to the voice of doom, they don't have your best interests at heart. They will cause you to be worried, insecure, and lonely. These emotions are all a turn off to a potential mate. He is looking for someone secure, confident, and outgoing-or at least personable. So it's extremely important to negate these neg. messages, and EXPECT him to want you. We very often get what we EXPECT from life.....