tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3046913066595294996.post2211062041414540438..comments2023-10-30T09:58:30.080-05:00Comments on Interracial love and spice.....by Sara: The simple truth is-children DO need fathers-and his color is irrelevant!Taylor-Sarahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10105589774077925400noreply@blogger.comBlogger42125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3046913066595294996.post-75703317244725629832010-12-06T02:03:35.485-06:002010-12-06T02:03:35.485-06:00Hi Sara!
I was double checking all my links and t...Hi Sara!<br /><br />I was double checking all my links and thought I'd stop by. My condolences to you and your family!<br /><br />A father figure is really truly important, I can see that in the way my son copies -literally the clothing- that his father wears, etc. Also father have this consuming, all over, all encompassing, engrossing love style that women just don't have. lol. Kids need that (wives too lol)<br /><br />~~~~~~~<br />off topic: if you know that lady in the pic on the post -the one with the family near the mickey mouse, that is a friend of mine that I don't know how to contact. So, if you have contact w/her I hope she will see this comment. (contact me!!!)Miriamhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06067406973014144499noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3046913066595294996.post-18589473080089554162010-11-30T12:08:07.209-06:002010-11-30T12:08:07.209-06:00To BrittanyanJ
The problem with your premise is ...To BrittanyanJ <br /><br />The problem with your premise is that statistically, there is no significant difference in the percent of single white and black women who are sexually active (around a 6% difference), whereas there is a near 400% difference in the rate of births between single black and white women. <br /><br />http://www.guttmacher.org/pubs/psrh/full/4002708.pdf<br /><br />http://www.cdc.gov/nchs/data/nvsr/nvsr56/nvsr56_06.pdf<br /><br />Also, the recent study of the amount of time couples spend in bed not sleeping concluded that married black couples are more than twice as likely to report having sex daily than married white couples, yet married blacks have a lower birth rate than married white couples.<br /><br />http://www.blackamericaweb.com/?q=articles/life_style/fitness_life_style/16953Johnnienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3046913066595294996.post-91673146186065470422010-11-27T14:57:29.312-06:002010-11-27T14:57:29.312-06:00To Johnnie (and whoever else is *kinda* missing th...To Johnnie (and whoever else is *kinda* missing the point: <br /><br /><br />Here is the problem, illustrated below. <br /><br /><br />Scene A. You have an attractive, single black woman being pursued by a swaggering, horny black man. She says, "Since sex makes babies, and I want my babies to be born into wedlock, I want to make sure that all chances of my having a baby (whether or not she uses bc) occur within wedlock. Let's pursue marriage first." <br /><br />Scene B. Horny, swaggering black man screams bloody murder and runs away. <br /><br /><br />This is the crux of why this is even a matter for discussion.BrittanyanJnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3046913066595294996.post-33477783986252119642010-11-13T14:28:07.623-06:002010-11-13T14:28:07.623-06:00Hugs Sara and thanks for the recent post. Along wi...Hugs Sara and thanks for the recent post. Along with the common sense post comes the usual DBR nonsense to oppose it. SO typical. And boring.<br /><br />Let these concern troll black males who want to offer stats and opinions spend their time to talking to other BLACK MALES and not come to an IRR marriage site for black women. <br /><br />We already KNOW why they do it. To waste time and attempt to deflect the real responsibility. <br /><br />This crazy notion that BW should have husbands and fathers for their children is so far from the norm of the way most AA black people think we may as well be talking about building a rocket ship to them.<br /><br />Either way they see the light bulbs clicking on and the escape hatch activated and they don't like it. <br /><br />Just ignore them and keep moving to your higher standard, high quality life. For those women who find their "King" brava. For the majority of BW they will need to go elsewhere, settle or be alone. Those are the only options. IF they want marriage, children and a solid family life that is.Faithhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07848026271448646032noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3046913066595294996.post-29257015463178106202010-11-13T03:36:42.645-06:002010-11-13T03:36:42.645-06:00I forgot to tell you that I have a blog called &qu...I forgot to tell you that I have a blog called "Self Love For Black Women". Enjoy!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3046913066595294996.post-57147075441807167022010-11-11T17:48:16.218-06:002010-11-11T17:48:16.218-06:00This is the truth. Every child needs TWO MARRIED ...This is the truth. Every child needs TWO MARRIED PARENTS!!! Why don't black people get it? That's why I'm through with black people. We are too stuck on stupid. We are the only race that are doing things that's against nature and celebrating it like it's a holiday (i.e "Baby Mama" by Fantasia).Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3046913066595294996.post-41804626190115257572010-11-10T21:39:37.676-06:002010-11-10T21:39:37.676-06:00To Sara,
I agree with you and I have tried to tel...To Sara,<br /><br />I agree with you and I have tried to tell some AA women. Some AA women understood. While others are just grasping at straws. And, others are trying their best to hold unto that life jacket or that idea of what could be. LOL, I am the only one in my office who is not afraid to say there is nothing wrong with interracial dating/marriage for AA women.<br />Although, I was surprised to find out that there was at least one AA woman on campus who dates irr. One never knows who is dating whom and there is one bm campus police officer who stated that he can understand why AA women are dating out, he has at least two daughters.<br />a.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3046913066595294996.post-17409042095041097962010-11-09T15:42:04.093-06:002010-11-09T15:42:04.093-06:00A, it's not only hard to heal a relationship w...A, it's not only hard to heal a relationship with someone who is not present, it's impossible! BW are either going to have to wake up or perish! It's really as simple as that. PPl like your friend really raise my ire. Of course the downfall of either or both parties, but why should bw shoulder the blame, and responsibility for every damn thing? I get so tired of hearing bw should do this,and then bm would love them, Bw should do that, and then bm would come back.... ad nauseum. I DON'T WANT BM TO COME BACK TO BW! THE AVE. BW IS SO MUCH BETTER WITHOUT THEM! Let them be the ww problem, and let bw move on, once and for all. And it is just such a ridiculous notion that bw can hold up a relat. all by herself. Bw have got to stop listening to ppl who would tell her to stay stuck on stupid, and look around with her own eyes....It's pretty obvious bm only seem to "want" bw when they're down and out, or "need" her for some reason. Did you know that over 90% of BM millionaires are married, or dating outside the race! What does that say loud and clear?...Taylor-Sarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10105589774077925400noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3046913066595294996.post-50575131822664145312010-11-09T11:02:43.842-06:002010-11-09T11:02:43.842-06:00I didn't mean to come off as lecturing Sarah, ...I didn't mean to come off as lecturing Sarah, just making an observation. Not sure what you mean by "showing you how wrong you are", but I can reference some things I have read and I look foward to reading your opinions on them.<br /><br />http://center.americanvalues.org/?p=21<br /><br /><i>"When marriage fails or fails to form, when mothers and fathers do not commit to one another, nurturing fatherhood typically dwindles away. Over time, unmarried and divorced fathers tend to disengage from their children � both emotionally and financially. This is true for fathers of all races and classes. <b>Although one study suggests that unmarried Black fathers are more likely to spend time with their children than are unwed white and Hispanic fathers,</b> the evidence is quite strong that over time single fathers of all races tend to separate from their children and families, and that marriage significantly increases the likelihood that a child will grow up being nurtured by his or her father."[22]</i><br /><br />http://cup.columbia.edu/book/978-0-231-14352-3/the-myth-of-the-missing-black-father/excerpt<br /><br /><i>Allen (1981), looking at wives’ reports, found black wives reported a higher level of father involvement in childrearing than did white wives. McAdoo (1988) and Bowman (1993) also concluded that black fathers are more involved than white fathers in childrearing. However, Roopnarine and Ahmeduzzaman (1993), and Hossain and Roopnarine (1994) find no or insignificant racial differences in the level and quality of married fathers’ involvement. Across races, fathers in married-couple families were about equally involved with their children, which in all cases was less than mothers.<br /><br />Bright and Williams (1996) conducted a small qualitative study of seven low- to middle-income black fathers in two-parent families in an urban area. They found these fathers worked collaboratively with their wives to nurture their children and that chief among their concerns were rearing children with high self-esteem, protecting their family members in unsafe environments, securing quality education, and having a close relationship with their children. Marsiglio (1991) also found black fathers to talk more and have positive engagement with their older children.</i><br /><br />---------------------------------<br /><br />So it seems to me that there is a risk in having children out of wedlock no matter the race of the father and to reduce this risk, all women should have children only in wedlock no matter the race of the husband. If you can't find a husband of one race, find one in another. Just make sure you have a husband when that child is conceived.Johnnienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3046913066595294996.post-48749505060928850682010-11-09T02:11:43.041-06:002010-11-09T02:11:43.041-06:00I am not surprised by Jonnie's post. As usual...I am not surprised by Jonnie's post. As usual, he being a bm I assume, is putting the blame on black women; that black women should wait to be married to have children as if men have no responsibility. When are the masses of bw going to wake up? This "blame bw mentality" that many bm have is pretty much here to stay and is not going away, at least not with the present generations.<br /><br />Many bm are transparent these days. Any bw that can't see through them must not have an IQ higher than room temperature because they have been repeating the same behavior and its getting worse.Shannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3046913066595294996.post-9571286307047024672010-11-08T21:55:56.916-06:002010-11-08T21:55:56.916-06:00LOL, the rock sure follows your blog. WOW, you jus...LOL, the rock sure follows your blog. WOW, you just returned to blogging.<br /><br />a.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3046913066595294996.post-36993538489931677042010-11-08T21:53:52.016-06:002010-11-08T21:53:52.016-06:00@ Sara:
Today, I was speaking to a female friend o...@ Sara:<br />Today, I was speaking to a female friend of mines who was saying the say old bw need to do this and bw need to do that. Hmmm, what about the bm? She says most bm were not taught this and that and of course there is the historical part. <br />I did tell her women were not meant to hold up an entire community or race by themselves. She agreed. OK, all bm are not bad, noted. <br />It is also noted when they are educated and financially secure too many bm all of a sudden desire other race females. As my friend was saying, "Well, bw wasn't taught this or that". We were going around and around.<br />It appeared to me that she was placing the majority of the blame on bw and she is a bw with three daughters and she is a former police officer. Good for her she is getting engaged to her high school love after two failed marriages. Also, my friend wants to start some type of family counseling program, heal the blk. family type of program. Hmmm, it is kind of hard to heal a man who is not present. My friend means well and her fiance is going to a theological seminary or something similar. My friend is one of those people almost every word that comes out of her mouth is in reference to God, whatever happened to "You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain...<br />Yes, I believe in God but, I do not simply believe in just waiting. One must become more pro-active in her own life.<br />If you sit and wait you maybe waiting for a very very long time, get up and get moving.<br /><br />a.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3046913066595294996.post-37684499462412509842010-11-08T14:43:45.555-06:002010-11-08T14:43:45.555-06:00Johnnie your point is well taken, but for me. BM a...Johnnie your point is well taken, but for me. BM are really not worth mentioning in the context of fatherhood. We all know NO OTHER MEN are as likely to leave and desert innocent, helpless children as bm. In stead of being here trying to lecture me about my post, why are you not out there showing me how wrong I am. I really feel sorry for 90% of the women hitching their wagons to bm, because they are going to be depressed, derespected, and deserted....Taylor-Sarahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10105589774077925400noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3046913066595294996.post-26600375336459063692010-11-08T14:06:01.866-06:002010-11-08T14:06:01.866-06:00Kind of make sense what Johnnie said. Typically, ...Kind of make sense what Johnnie said. Typically, a man of any race who marries you will be a father to the kids he makes with you. The blog post seems to be saying to make sure that the man who impregnates you will be a good good father, regardless of whether he is married to you or not. If we promote having children only in marriage, the point becomes sort of moot since all research indicates that married fathers are overwhelmingly actively supporting and spending time with their children with their wives.<br /><br />If we are to celebrate good non-custodial fathers, then we must rethink the constant references to 70 percent of black women being single or 70% of black children being born out of wedlock because the latter does include active non-custodial fathers. But that should not be good enough. The goal should be marriage.Brianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3046913066595294996.post-87065062152704069142010-11-05T23:24:15.473-05:002010-11-05T23:24:15.473-05:00I'm so sorry for your loss Sara. Please take ...I'm so sorry for your loss Sara. Please take care of yourself, and my sympathies go out to you and your family.Unknownhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11270858595810579281noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3046913066595294996.post-53676704799671717272010-11-04T22:26:26.660-05:002010-11-04T22:26:26.660-05:00@Johnnie please shut up and go preach that old bul...@Johnnie please shut up and go preach that old bullcrap somewhere else. Its not about black men anymore and dont try to make it be. The truth lies right here in our face its hard not to see whats going on. I am so sick of black man trying to cover up that fact they have a overwhelming complex problem and then tries to degarde us to make themselves feel better. Its a fact that black men is the only race of men that do not put their women first its right here in our face. Black men need to stop trying to Fu*K ANYTING with a pulse, how dare u come here with this weak as argument. Its not our fault that blackmen leave their children , its not our fault blackmen stay in jail, its not our fault they are to weak to stand up for their women, its our fault that they leave one women for another women and then they both are pregnant the list goes on and on. Stay tune!ToughCookienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3046913066595294996.post-70964643102260309392010-11-02T15:27:06.479-05:002010-11-02T15:27:06.479-05:00Welcome back, Sara. Sorry to hear about your losse...Welcome back, Sara. Sorry to hear about your losses. Of course blogging is the least important element in all of your affairs, but your voice has been missed.GoldenAhhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15928138252968831618noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3046913066595294996.post-15573714820439780582010-11-01T22:14:34.148-05:002010-11-01T22:14:34.148-05:00Johnnie, shut up.Johnnie, shut up.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3046913066595294996.post-58989584433613485962010-10-31T16:35:25.020-05:002010-10-31T16:35:25.020-05:00The problem with what I read is that you almost se...The problem with what I read is that you almost seem to imply that that single black mothers need to go out and look for white men to be non-biological fathers to their already existing children. Would not a better primise be to simply not have children out of wedlock and if you have trouble finding a black husband, look for a non-black husband?<br /><br />It has been been shown that with all things equal, a white non-custodial father is less likely to be involved with his children than a black non-custodial father. So having a child by a white man out of wedlock does not generally ensure a greater degree of involvement. The difference is that a far smaller percentage of white children lack custodial fathers.<br /><br />The out of wedlock birth rate for black children is actually less than that for Hispanic children and not significantly higher for than white children. The percentage is what is so much higher and that results greatly from the low birth rates for married blacks. <br /><br />So what it comes down to is that black women need to stop having children when unmarried and start having more children when married. Chances are overwhelming that married black men will be greatly present in their children's lives even after divorce.Johnnienoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3046913066595294996.post-72487568514937124022010-10-29T23:47:32.072-05:002010-10-29T23:47:32.072-05:00Sorry for your losses. Take care and be strong.Sorry for your losses. Take care and be strong.Shannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3046913066595294996.post-70527430558909776332010-10-27T15:39:54.672-05:002010-10-27T15:39:54.672-05:00I do believe children need fathers. I was lucky to...I do believe children need fathers. I was lucky to have my grandfather in my life when I was younger. I wanted my dad to be in my life but, he decided that it was best to start a new family. My mom did a very good job all of these years. She left my dad when she was pregnant with me. To this day they are still married and its what 27 years later. I want my children to have a good dad or father figure in their life.Ether Bladehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15970249813152009951noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3046913066595294996.post-89498754200169952702010-10-27T13:33:58.810-05:002010-10-27T13:33:58.810-05:00Sara,
I'm so sorry for your loss. We are all...Sara,<br /><br />I'm so sorry for your loss. We are all happy you've returned. Outstanding essay as usual.<br /><br />Take care and God bless.Felicianoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3046913066595294996.post-72736416507433299772010-10-26T22:07:10.672-05:002010-10-26T22:07:10.672-05:00Hugs Sara!
I am so sorry to hear about the losses...Hugs Sara!<br /><br />I am so sorry to hear about the losses. I send my condolences to you and your family. <br /><br />Also I am so sorry to hear about the illness. <br /><br />You have a lot going on (plus a young baby). I hope that you can take some time to be good to yourself dear. <br /><br />I am thinking of you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3046913066595294996.post-3660740817540029512010-10-26T10:08:17.571-05:002010-10-26T10:08:17.571-05:00Dear Sara, sister. I am so sorry for your losses ...Dear Sara, sister. I am so sorry for your losses and the hurt that accompanies it. It can be very trying but rest assured, you have a loyal following.<br /><br />Thanks so much for this wonderful insight. You are in essence saying what "No Wedding No Womb" is trying to convey to the masses in the bc. There has been some backlash, but the overwhelming majority agree with the message and exactly what you say here. It is undeniable but folks will still come up with the most outlandish nonsense and foolishness to cast doubt, fears and hate because of their own mistakes. Then some just hate because the message is positive so thank you again for speaking out! Right on time as usual. <br /><br />Take care and kiss that baby for us. We did miss you much girl.Lorrainenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3046913066595294996.post-37666056879955337462010-10-25T08:16:20.701-05:002010-10-25T08:16:20.701-05:00I'm very happy that you are back, very sorry a...I'm very happy that you are back, very sorry about your loss, as usual. You always speak the truth.Valerie's World, Hair, Beauty and other mattershttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11816126116578284641noreply@blogger.com