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Sunday, June 21, 2009

How the power of *WORDS* has affected black women!!!




The words we use (what we think) will make or break our lives-what are you saying to the world and yourself?.......










Many ppl continue to let their words do them in and then wonder why their lives are not what they would want them to be. The bible says, 'Life and death is in the power of the tongue'
What does that mean to you? I'll tell you what it means to me. It means that the words that come from your mouth, shape your life. It means those words are soooo powerful that they can even cause life to end! Many of you sistas are NOT where you want to be, or have what you want to have, or live the way you want to live today, because of the words you allow to cross your lips.....
Words have amazing power, but not many ppl realize how powerful they really are.
Example 1.
Did you know the entire Holocaust started out with Hitler ( a little German nobody) claiming he was the greatest ruler in Germany, and that he would restore Germany to it's former glory? He then proposed to do this, by eradicating all of Germany's primary problems-starting with the Jews. He started out calling the Jews vermin and other vile names. Soon ppl did not see ppl when they looked at Jews they saw vermin. Think how much easier it is to kill 6 million vermin than 6 million people! He progressed by saying that all the economic, political, and social problems that Germany faced were the fault of the Jews (vermin) At first ppl laughed at him, but as he spoke (and he was a master communicator) ppl began to listen. The jews were no longer seen as ppl. they were considered on the level with rats and roaches. Do you feel any compuctions about killing rats or roaches? Once they were viewed and accepted in this light, it was so much easier for the SS to 'exterminate' them, and the fate of the poor Jews was soon sealed.... How did such a thing happen? How could something so horrible have ever happened? It happened the ways things usually do, with words preceding actions....
Example 2.
Think about the recent demise in the black community...
If you remember the start of Hip hop, then you remember Run DMC, and how when it began, it was never misogynistic. It was electrifying, and it was good dance music, but misogyny was never a part of it. As it gained fame and popularity, other musicians (that title does not really fit) opted to take the easy way to fame and fortune. They began to engage in music designed to scintillate the senses and pander to the base instincts of the public. (anything to get to the money) The music grew increasingly malicious, and vile. With it grew more and more crimes against women -yet nobody seemed to anticipate or notice the connection! I remember Curtis Blow saying how uncomfortable he was with the direction the music was taking. I also remember how quickly he was shut down. The downward spiral had begun... Artists were getting paid, and they did not want to hear anything that might interrupt the sweet sound of money landing in their bank accts. Women who saw the writing on the wall and tried to intervene were accused of trying to keep brother's broke (Deloris Tucker anyone) Along the way, gang violence escalated, bm filled the jails, and bw and girls were more and more often the victim to bm who listened to these horrible lyrics day and night, and then decided to emulate them. What I am suggesting is that it is in no way surprising to me the horrible way bw are being treated by bm in this current day. Just look at the garbage they call music! Listen as they recite these lyrics on a continuous basis, and then look at the effect on their lives. No the music is NOT solely responsible, but it has exacerbated (to the 9th degree) a whole host of problems that already existed in the blk community. There is simply NO WAY you can listen to something day and night while constantly reciting it, and not have it affect you!!! What I am saying is NEVER BELIEVE THAT WORDS ARE JUST WORDS-WORDS HAVE POWER!!! Just look at how cold and misogynistic today's bm is compared to the ones from yesteryear! Look at how many bm are filling jails because of words, (rap music, keepin it real, down wit it, ride or die, etc etc, etc. Look at how we went from 'treat her like a lady' (temptations 80s) to now (you's a hoe, move bitch-get out the way, pimps up-hoes down)etc, etc, etc. The music today (if you can call this nonsensical lyrical trash music) is doing so much harm, it's unmeasurable.... Bw are not even being seen as living breathing ppl with hopes and dreams and feelings anymore. We've been relegated to horrific labels by the very men many of us have fought tooth and nail for. Because we have allowed this garbage(and other garbage) to penetrate our consciousness, we now have young men glorifying violence,glorifying jail, glorifying gangs, treating women like sexual toilets, sexual violence against women and on and on. Everything white America has enough sense to see is horrible, and wrong is glorified and uplifted in the bc. The more these despicable words are thrown at bw like verbal daggers, the greater the danger for bw and girls, the lower the self esteem of young girls, and the more deadly bm become. Think about the old days. Was it EVER this bad that you can remember? NO! Do you know what the primary change is: The Words used to describe bw grew more evil, more deadly, more hateful, and more threatening! And what happened? The resulting actions followed SUIT!!!!
Example 3. -final
Lets give a final example:
look at how the slogan "Nothin but a black man!" has affected relations, and attitudes in and out of the BC.....
As this chant/slogan gained popularity, many bw began to suffer the consequences.

Many bw began to allow bm to come to the table with nothing but a pulse, yet non-bm were often given the cold shoulder. After all, it was uncool to date white (forget that bm were doing it like it was going out of style.)
Wm were practically expected to turn hand flips to get a date with a sista, while bm had a harem of women chasing them, and bulging an already overblown ego. This little stupid saying had bm who looked like Flav thinking they were Morris chestnut. It's caused ww to run after bm as well (further bloating that big ego)
Ww began to think to themselves: If he's all that-then he should be with ME!!
It's interesting that bw only began this chant because they felt so many brothers suffered low self esteem due to racism, and they were hoping to alleviate the pain in any way they could. Many bw wanted bm to know that no matter how the world viewed them, we were still in their corner. Thus this chant began, and was quickly used against us. Many bm immediately began to believe they were too good for bw. (Never mind that 70% of the wealth, and 2/3 of all College degrees awarded to AAs -go to bw.) These little-so called insignificant words also slowed IR down for many bw. Some women refused to indulge (no matter how much they wanted to) and some actually began to believe the bullshit they were spouting (Nothing but a bm) They convinced themselves he had to be blk. There was no longer criterion for being a good man, husband, father, -just blk! Let me show you a few more ways this has hurt us.....

1. Bm began to show signs of open conceit, and along with it, contempt for other men-and BW!.
2. Bm became more disrespectful because they felt (knew) they could get away with it.

3. Bm became more misogynistic in word and deed, (and song) and showed more open disdain for bw.
4. Bm were able to do less and less in relationships, while demanding more and more...

5. With less and less demands on them, many bm began to show more and more signs of slothfulness and lackadaisical attitude toward everything. This began in their relationships, and expanded to include employment, education, parental responsibilities etc. I am not suggesting that a mere slogan started their downward spiral. I am suggesting that once again- it Exacerbated it.....
This is just the tip of the iceberg, but I wanted to bring attention to how this new low standard affected the men both black and white.
Now how did it affect wm?
1. Wm who were on the fence about asking bw out, opted for more 'open' women (usually Asian)

2. Wm who were already dating a bw, began to worry that she secretly wanted a brotha

3. Wm who were dealing with a lot to be with a bw, began to wonder why he was putting up with all this, when she probably wanted a bm all along.

4. Some wm who were strongly attracted to bw, 'gave up' and slid back to ww. etc, etc, etc.

5. Wm who were easily scared off, never asked a bw out to begin with, or were extrememely reluctant to, from then on....

The bottom line that I am trying to convey here, is that words are NEVER just words. Words = power, or helplessness. Words = wealth or poverty. Words = love or hate, and words = separation or unity....
Words are life and death. Don't' ever let anyone ever tell you that words don't matter.
Remember, before Wars, before Slavery, before the Holocaust..... there were the words that brought them about.....

49 comments:

Danielle Mae said...

I agree 100%, I believe in the power of the tongue. I especially agreed to the part about white men. I just joined a dating site, and I've had many white men emailing me(I put my preference as white), and many of these men had non-black women as their "preference"), so I guess they believed the venom about "nothin' but a bm!" I have made it a habit to think before I speak sometimes. Great topic!!!

Anonymous said...

True.

Stealthkitty

Gloria said...

The old adage "The pen is mightier than the sword" said by Edward Bulwer-Lytton during the 1800s is ominous in every way.

Michael Horvath said...

I definitely agree with what you say about words. In my opinion I do believe that it is within our power to control how we think and react to them.

sky said...

great post sara! and I had a feeling Luke Wilson had a thing for bw, that pic on the side confirmed my feelings (he's such a cutie). His gf almost looks like joy branyt.

Anonymous said...

That is Joy Bryant.They dated in 2003.Donno if they are still dating though.
Great blog by the way :)

Anonymous said...

..."Everything white America has enough sense to see is horrible, and wrong is glorified and uplifted in the bc...."
------------------------------

I agree and disagree; not all of the African American community is uplifting the negative 'mantra' that is a result of negative Hip-Hop & Rap. What has happened I do believe is that, this 'tiny' minority of 'musicians' have been able to grab the spotlight, and the imaginations of a large portion of 'young black' folk/males and have influenced their perceptions. Certainly not folk older than 45,and not all of young Black America; although there is the possibility and certainly examples to the contrary. But, to paint the entire Black community as having fallen for this 'okeedoke' is wrong. I agree though that the African American community has as a whole, has received a severe injury/wound from this phenomenon.

Lavette said...

Amen Sara! I agree as well you can speak life or death into your situation it all depends on the words you use. That is why I try always to make sure that what I say to my own situation and to others isn't any form of corrupt communication.

Loving your blog Sara I am such a fan!

Taylor-Sara said...

Anon. I am NOT saying the entire AA community has fallen for this mess. Let me clearify. I am saying that even when this mess is called to our attention again and again. Too many ppl hide their heads in the sand and don't want to call a spade a spade. They fear the backlash. Therefore the nonsense is allowed to run rampant. One thing you have to understand. All that is required for evil to take over-is for good ppl to say/do NOTHING!
(that's someone's else's saying, but it's completely true)

HearMeRoar said...

I was just thinking and talking about this with my boyfriend this past Saturday lol! I've been reading this blog on and off for a while but i never had a chance to comment as i was either tired or reading on the run. But anywho, I totally agree with you. The think i dislike the most about listening to music out of habit or out of a since of responsibility to supporting anything black people do because your also black, is that you literally are just sucking in what they are saying with out thinking about what they are actually saying. I was out shopping Saturday afternoon with my cousin and she had made a mixed CD for us to listen to along the drive...I spent the who ride trying to NOT listen to the music and wondering how anyone (and why I at one point not too long ago) would listen to something so demeaning besides the fact that "its black people music"...

I also like the fact that you used Hitler as a reference...it wasn't like Germany decided over night that they hated Jews. Like you said, they started to see them as vermin, they dehumanized them and it's much easier it kill 6 million vermin and sleep at night, than it is to kill 6 million PEOPLE. (They same thing goes for slavery. Evolutionist where throwing around the theory that Africans were obviously less evolved than Europeans, and thus its was easy to subjugate something that you see as more animal than human.) I think its also interesting because its speculated that Hitler himself was part Jewish (he wasn't raised that way of course) but still...Through time in rap music (seeing as it is black male rappers and even black female rappers and not any other race that's doing the dehumanizing ...like Hitler was part Jewish...and not a full fledged German..hmmm, i just thought of this but that seems very SELF hateful)women have become seen less as a woman and more as a whore ..its much easier to say the things they say about a whore than it is to say about a woman...

And also, I agree that we have control over how we react to things as well...however, I also think we like to rationalize things into being not as big a deal as we may think...esp. considering that a lot of the people listening to this music is teens whose frontal lobe (the part of the brain that reasons) hasn't even fully developed yet...so really, to some degree they are just sucking this "knowledge" or "real talk" in as truth, and what have they got to counter it?

I really enjoyed this post and I'll defiantly be visiting again soon...now I have to finish getting ready for work! lol...I hope everyone has a great day!

Anonymous said...

hey sara have you seen the afropunk documentary by james spooner? It talks about some of struggles that young black people face when they decide to turn away from the "acting black" crew and find something different. It has spawned a whole moivement of young black who enjoy rock, punk, and hardcore music. It can also be found on Amazon. Here is the documentary's website:

http://www.afropunk.com/


-phoenix ray

Anonymous said...

bw own 70% of the wealth of black america, because bm wont let go of the word PROVIDER. They let bw earn an keep their money and bash them everyday for not being a PROVIDER, so the man keeps working and giving most of his money to the deceitful creature that is woman. So she has all her money and most of the man's money. So she has 70% (or more) while he has a paltry 30% (or less) and then the bw said, you're a loser, let me go find a non-black man! hooray! How the power of the WORD has affected black men!

sky said...

anon @ 1p.m. if that is Joy Bryant then they are no longer dating. Joy just recently got married. But hey still reconfirmed my feelings =P

Spiral_Loc said...

NAACP Pres. says, daughter ok to pick a quality-man even non-black:

http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/06/22/what.matters.jealous.naacp.daughter/index.html#cnnSTCVideo


P.S. - click my ID, and stop by my blog...

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Taylor-Sara said...

Anon 4:33 so well said, I could not have said it better myself.


Anon 4:24 you sent that message to me over 40 TIMES!!! You are truly crazy, and you need to get some help!!! What kind of fool posts the same message over and over. At first I thought maybe it was an error, then I looked at the times, and you placed them all 1-2 minutes apart one after the other. Really, seek help.....

Taylor-Sara said...

Anon, I am going to look up your IP address and have it submitted to the police! what you are doing is cyber-stalking and it is illegal! You are crazy and you really need to get help....

Anonymous said...

Amen Sara! Tell it like it is! BW need to stop worrying about what other people think and date who they want to date as long as they show them respect. I notice that sisters always say that "only a black man" crap meanwhile, the brothers are saying everything but that. Mya

Taylor-Sara said...

Exactly Anon. and does it make any sense at all for bw to be saying Nothing but a bm, when bm are saying ANYTHING BUT A BW!!! How stupid to be devoted to someone who has made it clear he would not touch you with a ten foot pole. I was sent a marketing tape recently. and several couples were featured. There were 3 bm on the tape, and ALL 3 were with WW! not one of the 3 but ALL 3! And yet bw worry about bm's feelings in regards to them dating wm! That's just crazy. Does it look like they're worried about your feelings? When do bw plan to wake up and stop playing the fool....

Taylor-Sara said...

First of all Anon. I don't think I dog them. I simply don't sugarcoat what I say. If you read the post I made reference to how much better bm used to be. I don't know when the demise started. All I know is that it has, and that most bm (not all) will not make viable husband/father material. But if anyone is dogging, it's them. They have treated bw like dirt for awhile now. I want you to do me a favor. I want you to spend a few days listening to COUNTRY music. It does not matter whether you like this type of music or not. I happen to love it, but that's neither here nor there. I just want you to listen to the beautiful lyrics, and how adoringly they sing of their women in these songs. How heartfelt, empathetic, and stirring they are. Then I want you to listen to the garbage called rap, and hear for yourself the enormous difference. That's not just a musical difference, that's a MINDSET difference. The men who sing the country songs, and the boy-men who garble that rap-garbage hate-speech are totally different in mind and spirit. And If I was ambiguous about whether I believe bm are inferior providers in comparison to wm. Then let me be clear. YES, of course I believe that. Bm have shown themselves (for the most part) to be the worst providers in the world. Most of the children of bm ( of non-married unions) rarely see his money or his face. Many bm use their children as bragging points with no actual thought to this being a real live person, with needs and feelings. As for when the change occured. I just could not tell you, but I do remember them being alot better when I was a child....

sky said...

anon at 11:28 p.m. maybe this video will answer your question...

http://www.youtube.com/
watch?v=nJiF-
DyVsfc

and it's coming from a bm.

Welcome said...

Certainly not folk older than 45,and not all of young Black America

You'd be surprised at the men of this age who dress like some hip-hop video. You have to think what will the kids that listen to this type of music and take it for word of what black is will be like when they are in their 40s.

Welcome said...

bw own 70% of the wealth of black america, because bm wont let go of the word PROVIDER. They let bw earn an keep their money and bash them everyday for not being a PROVIDER, so the man keeps working and giving most of his money to the deceitful creature that is woman. So she has all her money and most of the man's money. So she has 70% (or more) while he has a paltry 30% (or less) and then the bw said, you're a loser, let me go find a non-black man! hooray! How the power of the WORD has affected black men!

Well since men all over the world are supposed to be providers omg who would have thunk it. I don't know how bm are providing when bw are 70 single raising kids with no man in sight. Bm you are supposed to be providing.

Welcome said...

I want you to spend a few days listening to COUNTRY music. It does not matter whether you like this type of music or not. I happen to love it, but that's neither here nor there. I just want you to listen to the beautiful lyrics, and how adoringly they sing of their women in these songs. How heartfelt, empathetic, and stirring they are. Then I want you to listen to the garbage called rap, and hear for yourself the enormous difference. That's not just a musical difference, that's a MINDSET difference. The men who sing the country songs, and the boy-men who garble that rap-garbage hate-speech are totally different in mind and spirit.

Also listen to country music and then listen to R&B music
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H9sHR4ZrhKc
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r1J6Mr-g1j8 (same song with lyrics)

Ek Ladkii ko dekha to aisa laga
When I saw this girl, she seemed to me like...

Now listen to the R&B songs that are out there that are so sex filled (and yes the old ones were too, but they didn't out right say it), but these singers made everything sound romantic and beautiful(Alan Thicke reminds of the older/former artists http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HKNA42bj-do songs like this) the new ones are just sex songs about how they put it on a girl and why she want him over another guy. Or http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xOSbYU-J4c0 or rescuing a guy I do have to admit though I do kind of like the song, but then T-pain gets in there and starts talking about a human being acting like a car. WTF? But do check this out it's beautiful http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GrcLbpTelWw

Something that Evia mentioned in a past article is that people listening to hip-hop that are non/black Americans listen to the same music, but it doesn't effect most the way it does us and the ones who are hip-hop go through it as a phaze, because it really doesn't have anything to do with their environment. I've seen hispanic, white kids who act so called black/hip-hop or black raised around bp etc., but marry the women they get pregnant and worry about futhering their careers for their family. That says that the family upbringing is coming into play. Yes they may listen to hip-hop hang with bm, but at the end of the day mom and dad show these kids what a family is and what a man is supposed to be. Plus if they have dad and other men in the family then men on the street might have some influence (as with any person you meet in society)but not as much as their dad + other men in their family and also their environment.

I was out shopping Saturday afternoon with my cousin and she had made a mixed CD for us to listen to along the drive...I spent the who ride trying to NOT listen to the music and wondering how anyone (and why I at one point not too long ago) would listen to something so demeaning besides the fact that "its black people music"...


I know what you mean I love my cousins and all, but when my mom and I would visit thats all you'd hear in the car etc. and little kids were listening. WIH would someone let children hear that ish especially girls being called bitches and hoes or how they are going to put it to her etc. and how she better not talk about love it's just sex. WTH?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wkUs6cAsriU basically she strong don't need a man
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eZOquKmZZ9s (an even stupider remake of the song above)and apparently a woman living at home is pathetic and a gold digger. Well if thats the case then bm need to stop dating out because in many cultures the women stay at home until marriage also I have no prob with a woman at home. Many of the women at home work and pay bills along with the parents.


Sorry for all of the posts.lol

Anonymous said...

Anon 11:28 here

I can't get down with country but I know how country music is. It doesn't have that soul to it. I rather listen to R&B from the 70's, 80's, and early 90's. I can't get down with rap like that anymore, it is not creative enough. But rap lyrics do not bother me that much because I'm a product of those 30% of bw that are married. My parents are still to together and I have strong foundation when it comes to family, responsibility, etc. So the music I listen to would not effect me as an it would an impressionable blk boy or girl with no proper guidance because I have always had positive influences from around me. I guess I'm lucky.

But I visit your blog and I recently found whitewomenblackmen.com(one of your followers on this blog recommended it if you wanted to be entertained) and it seems that bm and bw are more focused on how the blk community is, instead of being focused on how it got that way. You can not fixed anything until you know the problem? It seems like nobody wants to fix the problem. I think both sides quick at casting stones at the other side without holding up the mirror and looking in to it. I think alot of times you make bw out to be the victims all the time and don't talk about some of the faults they have. If you see the way some bw act in on these streets, clubs, etc. I know you would shake your head in disgust, I know I do. Don't get me started on bm. Every other word is n**** which just gets under my skin. I won't go into further detail you do enough of that on here.

Do you honestly believe that by nature that wm are better providers than bm? When I mean nature I'm talking about genetics, something that is innate. If that is the case then ww have to be better providers than bw since ww and wm are genetically related. I don't think you believe this, but sometimes you sound like you do which troubles me, the same way bm on that website talk about how ww are naturally more feminine, pretty, nicer, etc.

"Sky" I saw the video and I agree with everything said. I don't blame bw at all for looking for other options, I think it should have been done a long time ago. But I do have a problem when you ask a bw/bm why they go interracial they start knocking the other sex instead of coming up with reason why they actually like that person. Damn that was long.

Anonymous said...

"bw own 70% of the wealth of black america, because bm wont let go of the word PROVIDER."

Are you insane? BW own 70% of the wealth (if that number is correct. Percentage claims should be substantiated) because they've EARNED that wealth and DESERVE every last dime of it.

Especially when you consider 70% of BM sperm donors have ABANDONED the innocent children they've helped create. Most BW deserve even MORE of the wealth for raising the next generation on their OWN.

Children cost money if you've haven't heard. And BW with fatherless black children are one of the poorest populations around.


"They let bw earn an keep their money and bash them everyday for not being a PROVIDER, so the man keeps working and giving most of his money to the deceitful creature that is woman."

LOL You damaged misogynistic A** hole you. Everyone knows who the TRUE creatures are bro. "Letting" BW earn and keep their own damn money?WTF

Most BM who ARE drawing a sizable income aren't even living in the same household with a BW fool! PLEASE.


"So she has all her money and most of the man's money."

Look Crackhead. These BW with these fatherless black children WISH they had most of the sperm donors money. Because it would certainly help with school expenses amongst other necessities.

But we BOTH know that money is NO where to be found.


"So she has 70% (or more) while he has a paltry 30% (or less) and then the bw said, you're a loser, let me go find a non-black man! hooray! How the power of the WORD has affected black men!"

It's the damaged black man HIMSELF who's proclaimed to the WORLD he's a loser through his ACTIONS. NOT the black woman.

And NEVER forget that hun.

Welcome said...

But I visit your blog and I recently found whitewomenblackmen.com(one of your followers on this blog recommended it if you wanted to be entertained) and it seems that bm and bw are more focused on how the blk community is, instead of being focused on how it got that way. You can not fixed anything until you know the problem? It seems like nobody wants to fix the problem. I think both sides quick at casting stones at the other side without holding up the mirror and looking in to it. I think alot of times you make bw out to be the victims all the time and don't talk about some of the faults they have. If you see the way some bw act in on these streets, clubs, etc. I know you would shake your head in disgust, I know I do. Don't get me started on bm. Every other word is n**** which just gets under my skin. I won't go into further detail you do enough of that on here.

Nobody wants to fix the problem? Hon why do you think we have all the black love, unity etc. stuff going on with mostly bw in attendance. Be real most bm don't want to help fix the problems. Yes bw have flaws (who doesn't and who doesn't know that), but seriously whose out there getting the degrees, working more than one job trying to raise kids and trying to cure what ails the black community. I don't like the N'word just like everyone else here, but if the men in the bc acted like men you wouldn't have this in the commuity anyway.

Taylor-Sara said...

Anon. I think I told you when I answered your question the first time, that it did not matter if you did not like country music. I simply wanted you to hear the differenc in the lyrics. As for worrying how bm got to be the way they are, honey my hands are full trying to save bw from them. I don't have time to find the genesis of their problems ( I suspect it began with no father's in the home) But since you seem so insistant on an answer why don't you take on the task of finding out and then enlighten us all. My plate is already full. As for rap not affecting you. Honey, none of us live in a vacuum. Rap AFFECTS us all either directly or indirectly. Whether it's going through a door and having a man let it slam back in our faces because we're no longer ladies but b*tches and h*es, or having our daughters come home crying because of what some fool said to them at school, to much more serious offenses like ppl that we love being attacked, or assaulted because they are no longer viewed as human beings.
I'm not suggesting rap MADE them criminals. They probably already had these propensities. What I am saying is that rap exasserbated them...
There is no such thing as music that does not matter. Music is one of the most powerful things in the world! Music is one of those things that go almost straight to the subconcious mind without any filters from the concious mind! And the weaker the person is mentally, the greater the influence -need I say more? Think about the average bm. Does he appear mentally strong to you!!! Look how easily he led to do any and everything! How many times have you heard a bm say " the white man won't let us succeed!" The white man taught us to hate black women!" The white man made us commit crimes because he wouldn't give us good jobs!" How pathetic-real men do not allow themselves to be swayed like leaves in the wind... Your final question. Do I believe that wm are inherently better providers than bm (you should have said that's what you meant from the start) NO. I do not. I don't believe any race is inherently better for any reason. Wm are better providers because they CHOOSE to be. They are better fathers-for the most part- because they CHOOSE to be. They are not inherently better than bm. Bm could CHOOSE to step up to the plate anytime, and be better men...

As for bw being victims. I AM disgusted with a number of bw. Only a fool allows someone to keep abusing them. I don't view women who know better as victims-they become participants. I only view very young, vulnerable girls as victims.
I remember years ago, my little spanish brother set the closet on fire, and we put it out, my mother began to walk toward him to give him a good spanking. Pedro was only about 4 years old, but he had enough sense to run from my mother and hide as he called his father. "Papi!" he cried. "Come and git me, my mommy's gonna beat me" Even a small child has the sense to run away from someone trying to hurt them and call for help. Bw need to do the same. We should have left bm to their mess years ago....

sistrunkqueen said...

Yes Sara I agree that BW need to self-preserve. I am on a yahoo group and one of our members is in a very abusive relationship. The members want to talk about IR dating but she wants to talk about being beat up by her boyfriend. Some members have stated they are very uncomfortable about the subject and those are the ones who are in social work and law enforcement. You see BW aren't even sympathetic to this domestic violence anymore. If you are in a bad relationship you need to get out now!!

Welcome said...

http://www.fierce411.com/

Sara, you don't have to approve this comment, but I found this magazine claiming to be an online magazine, blog for bw. I went through it briefly and wasn't too impressed. It seemed to be talking a hell of a lot about bm, but maybe that's because I skimmed it. Can you please check it out?

Anonymous said...

Is your brother's father from Spain? If not than he's not "Spanish". If he's from Mexico, he's Mexican. If Puerto Rico, he's Puerto Rican.

And if your brother was raised by your Black American mother, why does he say stuff like "papi"? Was he born with an accent? Was his father even in the picture. And please stop referring to him as your Spanish brother, you sound stupid.

Taylor-Sara said...

wow, some ppl are soooo ignorant! Anon first of all YOU sound stupid. I referred to Pedro as my spanish brother because I also have another brother, and I did not want them to be confused. As for for why I call him Spanish, it is because that is what the other side of HIS family calls themselves. (they are not mexican, they simply refer to themselves as Spanish. I would think they have a right to refer to themselves any damn way they want! (Just like I hate being called AA. I'm simply black) My mother married his Latino father after my father passed away, and yes, they are still together, and he taught Pedro to speak Spanish. And yes Pedro does have an accent, Now, why the hell are you so concerned about something so trivial?

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
LaLuneBrune said...

Very nice post Sara.... I absolutely agree with the idea that words are more powerful than we think they are. That's why people are encouraged to use affirmative actions.

Anonymous said...

bw own 70% of the wealth of black america, because bm wont let go of the word PROVIDER. They let bw earn an keep their money and bash them everyday for not being a PROVIDER, so the man keeps working and giving most of his money to the deceitful creature that is woman. So she has all her money and most of the man's money. So she has 70% (or more) while he has a paltry 30% (or less) and then the bw said, you're a loser, let me go find a non-black man! hooray! How the power of the WORD has affected black men!
-----------

If you thought up that piece of fiction to trick non-Black readers into believing that DBRBM are really upstanding family men taking care of business, you're too late. The rest of the world got wind of your worthlessness & depravity a long time ago. It's mostly BW who still need convincing that you are something that should be scraped off the bottoms of their shoes.

Welcome said...

And if your brother was raised by your Black American mother, why does he say stuff like "papi"? Was he born with an accent? Was his father even in the picture. And please stop referring to him as your Spanish brother, you sound stupid.

Actually this is stupid. I mean seriously I know many kids who say Papi who are born and raised in the U. S. A. And what was the point of your comment anyway? It did nothing for the forum anyway. And why are you here anyway? Especially if you are going to be disrespectful to the blog owner?

Anonymous said...

I don't know if anyone heard about this story, but I think ya'll would appreciate this story.

http://www.newsday.com/news/nationworld/la-me-harvard20-2009jun20,0,1425853.story

Anonymous said...

Sara, once again absolutely great post.

Chilerkle said...

All the more reason I believe those videos bashing black women on youtube are dangerous a female youtuber lost her life because a mentally unstable black male youtube user killed her and took his life afterwards!
The Black man responsible for killing that female youtube user subscribed to those youtubers whose whole channels were devoted to dehumanizing and slandering black women!

The men posting those videos bashing black women have blood on their hands!

Unknown said...

And if your brother was raised by your Black American mother, why does he say stuff like "papi"? Was he born with an accent?
***

What the hell? Anon, what in the hell do you think you're talking about? What does someone calling their father "papi" have to do with an accent? My siblings and I call our dad Pappi. We're Haitian, but I can't believe you seriously think all American children call their father, what exactly? Daddy? Not all Haitian kids call their dad Pappi. Why would all American kids call their dad Daddy or Dad?

Anonymous said...

Hi Anon,

Thanks for posting the story about Khadijah Williams...very inspiring. This story ties in nicely with Sara's post. If this sister achieved her goals. We can too! Here is a link to another inspiring story from cnn.com about Alfa Demmellash founder of Rising Tide Capital in New Jersey, by the way, she is married to a white man who is also her business partner. Enjoy.

http://www.cnn.com/2009/LIVING/worklife/06/18/cnnheroes.alfa.demmellash/index.html?iref=mpstoryview

Anonymous said...

Sara, once again you have hit a grand-slam home run out of the park with this post! You are the best friend we sistas can have! Thank you baby!

Anonymous said...

Anon at 4:23 pm from june 29th, right on! i agree 100%!

L said...

I agree with the power of thoughts, words and actions. Another thing is - when BW come out with "nothing but a BM mantra" it makes them look and sound incredibly unfeminine too. They need to stop saying that stuff! All heterosexual men love feminine, easygoing, open-minded women not those who sound militant and masculine (by shouting that mantra) or act as if they will be kick a WM in the balls for daring to step to a BW.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry to mention this, but Hitler was actually an Austrian, and was raised in Vienna. He tried and failed to get into architectural schools there and was jailed as a vagrant, which is where he began writing Mein Kampf. His delusions about Jews began in
Austria also, and I can't help but feel he used the German people to his own ends.
I also agree with all the comments against the current rap/ hip hop "music". Even as a white man in the early 80's, when rap first started hitting the mainstream, I gave it it's due, because it was new, something different, and seemed to have some social relevance. Now it's devolved into mysogenistic b.s. and is ruining lives. I used to prefer white women as well growing up. Now I see photos of Kerry Washington and Saana Lathan and my heart aches. Hmmmmm.
Jack

Welcome said...

I'm sorry to mention this, but Hitler was actually an Austrian, and was raised in Vienna. He tried and failed to get into architectural schools there and was jailed as a vagrant, which is where he began writing Mein Kampf. His delusions about Jews began in
Austria also, and I can't help but feel he used the German people to his own ends.
I also agree with all the comments against the current rap/ hip hop "music". Even as a white man in the early 80's, when rap first started hitting the mainstream, I gave it it's due, because it was new, something different, and seemed to have some social relevance. Now it's devolved into mysogenistic b.s. and is ruining lives. I used to prefer white women as well growing up. Now I see photos of Kerry Washington and Saana Lathan and my heart aches. Hmmmmm.
Jack

Well a doctor predicted that whatever he did good or bad would change the world and it did. This happened I believe when he was young (don't know what age).

Most people in Germany really didn't listen to him in the beginning. Most saw it as mass hysteria. He was seen as a geeky type of creepy dude. People even said that when they made I contact there was just something creepy/chilling about them. The main reason people started listening is he went to jail. I think that's anything. Take a leader or any person with an idea and jail them or kill them and you will end up with more followers then when they started out or when they were alive if they are killed. Those leaders/people can be good or bad.

But the fact that the family had for warning that this child had such a high IQ that he would be at the edge of insanity or following the wrong way (without adequate teaching etc. you'd have to becareful of who their influences are. Parent's can't be there all the time.)

It sort of like that with black women. We get for warning all of the time about dbrbm. Hopefully one day black women will listen to these warnings and move the hell on.

Sandz said...

I come here and to a few other blogs for encouragement.

I just sent an email fussing at someone today. I do triathlons, I am not competitive in the sport, but I REALLY enjoy them.

Do you know, other than Two people, most of the people in the BC only send me stories of tragedies that happen to others during a race?

What the heck?

I stopped talking to a guy here - who 'teasingly' would say I don't do black things, or the things black people do.

Yes Words are VERY powerful, have energy, and the power we give to them or not is how we must transform that energy.

I had a boyfriend excuse me former boyfriend tell me as his last words - "You really weren't that special". Never mind he already had another chick prego and was making preparations to marry her, while I was away trying to get my Masters and better myself.

The downside,I believed him, then hooked up with a loon.
Sometimes I think I am spending time trying to prove to myself I am someone special - how sad is that?

As the years have progressed, I am better, the statement doesn't seem to ruffle emotions, or rub old emotional scars.

But here is something else. i have my wonderful mother who has a forked tongue.
Yeah she told to me not to long ago that she hopes i meet someone special...but she hopes he doesn't spoil me.......

I frowned up and before I could say something back, she said well I guess you would say he is supposed to spoil you. i said well yes.

She also gives me the impression - dating white or another other non-black guy is a consolation because there aren't any good brothers out there to marry.

(brows furrowed)

I don't need a guy who is going to tell me I am uppity, bougie, or that I speak white, am a smarty pants (because of my degree) or whatever I have or do that causes his ego to feel bruised, or not make me low enough so he can stand higher than me.

Augh - words.

Sticks and stones AND words hurt very much.

Now if I could just get my profile to maybe sound better for dating.
I can talk up a storm, but when trying to poof myself up to be attractive via words - I think i am massively failing on the online dating websites.

GoldenAh said...

Never rely solely on dating sites, go out to functions and socialize. I am very introverted - sometimes very shy - yet, I make an effort to get out and mingle. Although it is still not as much as it should be.

People who insult you in the beginning will always insult you. Run from them.